Extinguished (Mlp/Mario)

[Spellflame]

Spoiler: Version 1

Pain . . .
Please . . .
Make it stop . . .
. . .
Princess? . . .
What . . .
N-No
StOp PleAsE
plEAse PLeaSE PleAAAAAAAAAAA
. . .
. . .
[game ove . . .
. . .
[gam . . .
W-W
. . .
[g
Wha-a . . .
[race change}
Race change?
[Resetting level]
Level?
. . .
[reset complete]
Reset?
[Sa . . .
[think {Status}
Status?

{Status}
Twilight Sparkle
Fallen Valkyrie Lv: 1/20
Dark Star Echo Lv: 1/20
Hp: 35/35 (Dt * 5 + Con * 2)
Mp: 35/35 (Will * 5 + Dt * 2)
Sp: 35/35 (Con * 5 + Dt * 2)
Pow: 15 (Str * 2 + Dex)
M-Pow: 15 (Int * 2 + Will)
Def: 15 (Rsl * 2 + Con)
M-Def: 15 (Res * 2 + Will)
Crit: 25 (Luk * 5)

Determination: 5
Willpower: 5
Constitution: 5
Strength: 5
Intelligence: 5
Resilience: 5
Resistance: 5
Dexterity: 5
Luck: 5
Points: 5
[End]​

W-What is this?
Fallen?
What does this mean?
Who do you want to be
What!
Who are you?!
Who do you want to be
I-I want to be the best at Magic
You want to be the best at magic
Will two of your points into intelligence
Will?
WILL
. . .
Two points in to intelligence

[update]
Hp: 35/35 (Dt * 5 + Con * 2)
Mp: 35/35 (Will * 5 + Dt * 2)
Sp: 35/35 (Con * 5 + Dt * 2)
Pow: 15 (Str * 2 + Dex)
M-Pow: 19 (Int * 2 + Will)
Def: 15 (Rsl * 2 + Con)
M-Def: 15 (Res * 2 + Will)
Crit: 25 (Luk * 5)

Determination: 5
Willpower: 5
Constitution: 5
Strength: 5
Intelligence: 7
Resilience: 5
Resistance: 5
Dexterity: 5
Luck: 5
Points: 3
[end]​

Place two in willpower and one in determination next
O-ok
Two in Willpower and one in Determination

[update]
Hp: 40/40 (Dt * 5 + Con * 2)
Mp: 47/47 (Will * 5 + Dt * 2)
Sp: 37/37 (Con * 5 + Dt * 2)
Pow: 15 (Str * 2 + Dex)
M-Pow: 21 (Int * 2 + Will)
Def: 15 (Rsl * 2 + Con)
M-Def: 17 (Res * 2 + Will)
Crit: 25 (Luk * 5)

Determination: 6
Willpower: 7
Constitution: 5
Strength: 5
Intelligence: 7
Resilience: 5
Resistance: 5
Dexterity: 5
Luck: 5
Points: 0
[end]​

Good
. . .
You who seeks to be a mage
Beware
Beware the searing light
Now rest
. . .
. . .
And next time
. . .
Don't vaporize yourself

"-"

"---"

"T------t"

"TWILIGHT!!!"
What,
"I'm up I'm up already" what happened . . . was it a dream
". . . twilight, honey . . ."
Mom?
"This wasn't my decision"
"Mom, You're scaring me"
". . ."
"Mom?"
"Forgive me. . ."
Mom? Why? What do you mean . . . . .who?
"Ah you're awake" and? Why is that important
"I seem to have a nead to sedate you"
DANGER
"What aRe y . . you d . . . doi . . . ng"
"Shame, realy, you could have been great"
W-ha
"Shame something so promising is tainted"
N-n no. . .stOOOOOOOOO ! ! ! . . .

My world was filled with pain, White Pain, Searing pain beyond all sanity.
Princess?
. . . What?
. . . n-no!
StOp PleAsE
plEAse PLeaSE PleAAAAAAAAAAA
The pain shattered and somehow became even worse
. . .
. . .
[game ove . . .
. . .
[gam . . .
W-W I couldn't understand what I was Feeling
. . .
[g
Wha-a The pain of my body splitting apart and beyond forced back into shape overwhelmed my shattered senses
. . .
[race change}
Race change? Nothing I was seeing made any sense
[Resetting level]
Level? I could see nothing but the strange words, And I could not comprehend them.
. . .
[reset complete]
Reset? None of the words made sense
[Sa . . .
[think {Status}
Status? I confusedly followed the command as my vision was filled.

{Status}
Twilight Sparkle
Fallen Valkyrie Lv: 1/20
Dark Star Echo Lv: 1/20
Hp: 35/35 (Dt * 5 + Con * 2)
Mp: 35/35 (Will * 5 + Dt * 2)
Sp: 35/35 (Con * 5 + Dt * 2)
Pow: 15 (Str * 2 + Dex)
M-Pow: 15 (Int * 2 + Will)
Def: 15 (Rsl * 2 + Con)
M-Def: 15 (Res * 2 + Will)
Crit: 25 (Luk * 5)

Determination: 5
Willpower: 5
Constitution: 5
Strength: 5
Intelligence: 5
Resilience: 5
Resistance: 5
Dexterity: 5
Luck: 5
Points: 5
[End]​

W-What is this were my confused thoughts
Fallen I could barely understand what I saw
What does this mean? I asked in my thoughts
And My Mind answered back. "Who do you want to be"
What! Who are you I thought in panic
"Who do you want to be" My Mind Repeated
And So I answered in fear I-I want to be the best at Magic
"You want to be the best at magic" My mind responded
And then it went on "Will two of your points into intelligence"
Will? I could not understand until my mind responded
"WILL" I shuddered against the force behind that thought
. . .
And then I attempted to do so Two points in to intelligence

[update]
Hp: 35/35 (Dt * 5 + Con * 2)
Mp: 35/35 (Will * 5 + Dt * 2)
Sp: 35/35 (Con * 5 + Dt * 2)
Pow: 15 (Str * 2 + Dex)
M-Pow: 19 (Int * 2 + Will)
Def: 15 (Rsl * 2 + Con)
M-Def: 15 (Res * 2 + Will)
Crit: 25 (Luk * 5)

Determination: 5
Willpower: 5
Constitution: 5
Strength: 5
Intelligence: 7
Resilience: 5
Resistance: 5
Dexterity: 5
Luck: 5
Points: 3
[end]​

"Place two in willpower and one in determination next" My mind went on
And so I Went on o-ok
Two in Willpower and one in Determination I could feel Myself focus as I willed the changes

[update]
Hp: 40/40 (Dt * 5 + Con * 2)
Mp: 47/47 (Will * 5 + Dt * 2)
Sp: 37/37 (Con * 5 + Dt * 2)
Pow: 15 (Str * 2 + Dex)
M-Pow: 21 (Int * 2 + Will)
Def: 15 (Rsl * 2 + Con)
M-Def: 17 (Res * 2 + Will)
Crit: 25 (Luk * 5)

Determination: 6
Willpower: 7
Constitution: 5
Strength: 5
Intelligence: 7
Resilience: 5
Resistance: 5
Dexterity: 5
Luck: 5
Points: 0
[end]​

"Good" my mind went before making it's final regards
"Good
. . .
You who seeks to be a mage
Beware
Beware the searing light
Now rest
. . .
. . .
And next time
. . .
Don't vaporize yourself"
As the words Faded from my mind, I started to hear something

"-"
I thought I heard somthing
"---"
who?
"T------t"
Are they calling for me?
"TWILIGHT!!!"
What,
"I'm up I'm up already" I responded to the call and thought what happened . . . was it a dream
". . . twilight, honey . . ."
Mom? Her voice was strange
"This wasn't my decision" I started to become worried and so I responded.
"Mom, You're scaring me"
". . ." S-she d-didn't r-resp-pond I started to Shake
"Mom?"
"Forgive me. . ."
Mom? Why? What do you mean . . . . .who? Another pony entered my field of vision
"Ah you're awake" and? Why is that important my shaking became even worse as the pony approached
"I seem to have a need to sedate you"
"DANGER" my mind screamed in warning, but I could no nothing
"What aRe y . . you d . . . doi . . . ng" my voice cut off as my body fell out of my control
"Shame, realy, you could have been great" the pony's voice would have made me tremble If I was Able
W-ha my thoughts were starting to strain
"Shame something so promising is tainted" the voice became almost sinister
N-n no. . .stOOOOOOOOO ! ! ! . . . As I felt something touch my horn, My world became pain once more.

 

[Spellflame]

. . .
"So, Remind Me again what happened?"
"Well your majesty, when the subjec-"
"Student"
"Student attempted to hatch the egg, she appeared to flare with the passing of that wave of magic"
"I KNOW THAT"
"Well the magic they radiated was normal at first, but then it changed to dark . . .How did a child even do that?"
"Focus"
". . .Right, well when you attempted to calm them down and heal them . . .
"WELL"
"They, and hear me out, . . . Seemed to reject the healing . . . to an extreme degree"
"So why did half of Canterlot awake to screaming?"
"Well when we attempted the procedure, t-the sedative seems to have failed"
"The sedative Failed . . .HOW DID IT FAIL!!!"
"W-we don't know your majesty . . ."
"THEN FIND OUT . . . and bring me the horn . . . I have a purging to do"
"Yes your majesty"

---

So… this is my first story in SV, constructive Criticism is welcome.

 

[Spellflame]

Spoiler: Original Version

(three weeks Later)

Knocking?
"Twilight, honey?"
Oh, her
". . ."
"Dear, you need to get ready for school"
". . ."
School . . . pointless
"I'm coming in"
. . .
"Twilight?"
"Go away"
"Honey, you need to go to sch-
"Go away" you are not welcome here mother
"Very well"
She's left . . .
Equipment

[Equipment]
[none]
[none]
You can equip horns, cores, rings, and horseshoes
[End]​

No equipment . . .
THEY CUT IT OFF!
breathe . . . breathe
Sedate . . . they said
It's damaged . . . they said
IT WAS MY HORN
. . . . . . .
Fine then
Spells

[Spell Listing]
Wings of Dark Light
The valkyrie gains wings that allow them to fly using a dark power of light
Dark devour
Consume creatures and powers of the dark to take aspects of them into yourself to regain your lost power, costs all Mp
Telekinetic Strike(Telekinesis)
Strike with a blow of telekinetic force dealing M-Atk Damage to one foe, this attack is Blocked by Def not M-Def, costs 1 mp
Telekinetic Wave(Telekinesis)
Strike with a wave of telekinetic force dealing M-Atk Damage to all foes, this attack is Blocked by Def not M-Def, costs 15 mp
Teleport
Teleport making your action this turn go first, costs 25 Mp
Blacklight Barrier (Barrier)
Make a barrier of Black light around an allie or yourself, Adds Caster's M-Atk to target's M-Def, Costs 30 Mp and 5 Mp every time the target is attacked until the spell is dropped
Dark Beam (Mana Bolt)
Fire a beam of Dark Power dealing M-Atk Damage to your target and M-Atk/2 Damage to nearby enemies, costs 25 Mp
Dark Flare (Spell Flare)
Cause an Explosion of Dark Flames dealing M-Atk damage to all foes burning them to deal M-Atk/10 damage for 5 turns or until cured
[end]​

What is the point?
Why would I be able to do magic with no horn
. . . . .
Blacklight Barrier
!!!
What?
I-It worked?
It worked
It wor- AHHHk
. . .w-wha-at . . .

[Mp value]
2/40
[end]​

. . . princess . . .
You
Will
Pay

---

Step 1
Get outside and find somewhere secluded

"Mom?"
"Twilight! You're up?"
"I will, . . . head to school . . . tomorrow, But now, I need to go outside"
". . . fine"

---

Step 1.5
What is that?

!!!
What?
What . . .What's that feeling?
The statue gardens . . .
How do I . . .

---

Step 2
Teleport

. . .
How do I . . .
Teleport
!!! hide now
. . .
"What was that!!?"
"What?"
"Tell me you saw that?
"What?"
". . .Idiot, get back to work"

---

Step 3
Find it

. . .
Where
. . .
Not the castle,
. . .
The statues
. . .
"Victory?"
. . .
No,
. . .
D D i i s s c c o o r r d d?
.
. . .
What?
. . . enter
. . .
Enter?
. . .
Enter

[enter dungeon "Dissonant Fields"?]
[yes] [no]​

. . .
Yes

Three weeks later

Knocking? Someone was knocking on my door
"Twilight, honey?"
Oh, her my dear mother was at the door
". . ." I refused to respond
"Dear, you need to get ready for school" my mother began to use meaningless platitudes
". . ." I have no words for you mother . . .
School . . . pointless
"I'm coming in" why?
. . .
"Twilight?"
"Go away" I do not want you here
"Honey, you need to go to sch-" No I don't
"Go away" you are not welcome here mother"
"Very well" and she left in shame
She's left . . .
Equipment

[Equipment]
[none]
[none]
You can equip horns, cores, rings, and horseshoes
[End]​

No equipment . . . I was outraged
THEY CUT IT OFF!
breathe . . . breathe I was hyperventilating
Sedate . . . they said They Lied
It's damaged . . . they said They Lied
IT WAS MY HORN
. . . . . . .
Fine then I was f.i.n.e.
Spells

[Spell Listing]
Wings of Dark Light
The valkyrie gains wings that allow them to fly using a dark power of light

Dark devour
Consume creatures and powers of the dark to take aspects of them into yourself to regain your lost power, costs all Mp

Telekinetic Strike(Telekinesis)
Strike with a blow of telekinetic force dealing M-Atk Damage to one foe, this attack is Blocked by Def not M-Def, costs 1 mp

Telekinetic Wave(Telekinesis)
Strike with a wave of telekinetic force dealing M-Atk Damage to all foes, this attack is Blocked by Def not M-Def, costs 15 mp

Teleport
Teleport making your action this turn go first, costs 25 Mp

Blacklight Barrier (Barrier)
Make a barrier of Black light around an allie or yourself, Adds Caster's M-Atk to target's M-Def, Costs 30 Mp and 5 Mp every time the target is attacked until the spell is dropped

Dark Beam (Mana Bolt)
Fire a beam of Dark Power dealing M-Atk Damage to your target and M-Atk/2 Damage to nearby enemies, costs 25 Mp

Dark Flare (Spell Flare)
Cause an Explosion of Dark Flames dealing M-Atk damage to all foes burning them to deal M-Atk/10 damage for 5 turns or until cured

[end]​

What is the point?
Why would I be able to do magic with no horn
. . . . . I was Despairing but I still tried
Blacklight Barrier
!!! and it worked
What?
I-It worked?
It worked
It wor- AHHHk I Screamed in shock
. . .w-wha-at . . . I felt so, so weak.

[Mp value]
2/40
[end]​

. . . princess . . .
You
Will
Pay"
I had made My Desision

---

Step 1
First I had to go outside and find somewhere secluded

"Mom?" I had to talk to her"
"Twilight! You're up?" she sounded so excited"
"I will, . . . head to school . . . tomorrow, But now, I need to go outside"
". . . fine"

---

Step 1.5
What is that? I felt something"
!!!
What?
What . . .What's that feeling? It felt like it came from near the castle
The statue gardens . . .
How do I . . .

---

Step 2
Teleport

. . . I needed to get past the guards
How do I . . .
Teleport
!!!" hide now I felt a warning and Dove into a bush
. . .
"What was that!!?"
"What?"
"Tell me you saw that?
"What?"
". . .Idiot, get back to work"
The Guards really were.

---

Step 3
Find it

. . .
Where
. . . I had it find it
Not the castle,
. . .
The statues It was in the Garden
. . .
"Victory?"
. . .
No,
. . .
D D i i s s c c o o r r d d?
. I Had A splitting Headace from whatever that was
. . .
What?
". . . enter"
. . .
Enter?
. . . My mind had yet to fail me, so I Willed It
Enter

[enter the dungeon "Dissonant Fields"?]
[yes] [no]​

. . .
Yes

 

[Spellflame]

I am going back and rewriting what I had, Hopefully This will be easier to write