Eggtopia
by Xeno Major
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The train rattled along the tracks, the dying rays of the sun playing across the disgruntled man sitting on a too-small seat. The man's leather longcoat and dark sunglasses were very out of place, particularly compared the small, shivering cat-thing sitting a few seats down.
After a while, the cat slowly stood up, then nervously walked over to the tall man glaring at everything.
"Uh, hey!" the cat said, his voice shaking slightly. "Where are you headed?"
Was this thing talking to him?
Albert Wesker slowly looked around the train, noting that there was no one else was inside the compartment – probably due to the fact Wesker had decided to clean his pistols halfway through the ride.
But the cat just stood there, staring at him, like it was waiting for him to respond.
Wesker growled.
Xxxx
"Mayor! Mister Mayor!"
Wesker closed his eyes slowly.
No, he thought. Not another one of these goddamn creatures.
All he wanted was a quiet fishing trip. One quiet fishing trip for a brief chance to get out of the hectic life he possessed.
"Mister Mayor, we're so glad you're finally here!" the strange, dog like creature said, nodding his head energetically – a comical sight, as the creature only came up to Wesker's waist.
"That's right!" another of the dog creatures surrounding him barked loudly.
Oh god, Wesker thought. This was worse that then insufferable idiot… Chris.
"What… do you mean, 'Mayor'?" Wesker growled, staring at the first dog creature.
Xxxx
One of them was following him.
Why?
What had he done to deserve this?
"What do you want?" Wesker demanded, turning back to face the female dog creature.
The dog cowered before him, as it should, the wretch, but still opened its mouth.
"Uh, M-mister Mayor, I'm – I'm your secretary!" the thing exclaimed, before panicking and hiding her mouth behind her paws.
A secretary. Wonderful.
"Fine," Wesker spat. "If I am Mayor, then I must have a House, yes?"
"I, ah, - Yes! Yes, Mister Mayor!" the thing spluttered, after Wesker leveled another glare at her.
"Gooood," Wesker sighed.
If he was to get a good day of fishing in, then he needed a good place to sleep. He wouldn't mind simply kicking one of these creatures out of its house, but if they already had a Mayor's house, then things would be so much easier.
Xxxx
"This is not a House," Wesker said slowly, staring at the dog creature that had identified itself as 'Digby', which, last he checked, was not actually a name.
"But it will be!" Digby said cheerily. "It will be one of the grandest and most important houses in the town!"
"But it is not yet," Wesker noted. "I need a place to sleep now."
"Now?" Digby blinked. "Uh, well, I think I have a tent you could borrow…"
"A tent?" Wesker snapped. "Is there not even a motel in this town? Am I to be forced to sleep in a stinking pile of canvas?"
"Uuuuuhhhh…" Digby slowly stammered, as he backed up slowly.
Xxxx
"I just. Want. To. Go. Fishing." Wesker snarled. "Why is that so hard?"
"Well, Mister Mayor, we need you to plant a tree!" Isabelle, the sister of the almost-as-bad-as-Chrrriiisss-DIGBY. "It symbolizes the day you took control of the town, and the turn of prosperity that is sure to come!"
Sure to come? He was here for a nice, relaxing day of fishing – one singular day. What was this talk of him ruling?
Fuck it.
You know what? Fuck it.
"I… accept this responsibility," Wesker said slowly, as the sun shined on his dark sunglasses.
The various waist-high animal citizens of his new town all cheered, and a dark smile stretched across Wesker's face as the sunlight was quickly blotted out by dark clouds.
"I hereby rename this town…" Wesker started to say, before pausing. "Yes… I hereby rename this town… EGGTOPIA!"
The animals citizens kept cheering, and Wesker stood there grinning.
He was going to have his goddamn fishing trip, and if he had to rule this miserable dirt pile to have a good fishing hole, then that was what he was going to do.
I... don't really know why I wrote it - but the idea of Albert fucking Wesker wandering around the world of Animal Crossing.
I wrote
this in about thirty minutes for ProtonJon's Twitch Tv livestream - where this is actually
read out loud by one of the commentators.
Later, on another stream, I even managed to get in the call and chatted with the commentators for a good hour - but that's another story.
