Carl Jung once said, "Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people." This one quote has been particularly emblematic of my life as of late, because I have faced more than my share of darkness from others and from myself.
If you're reading this first post, you likely already have an inkling about what this blog is all about. For many of you, you might be binging from the beginning about exactly where everything went wrong in my life and the lives of so many others in one of the most populated cities on the Eastern Seaboard. I'm here to tell you that it gets much, much worse before any of it gets better.
Jury's still out on if any of it will get better.
Disclaimer: I'm not holding anything back. You will see the dirty details on how dangerous living in the Empire City Quarantine really was - or rather, still is. You'll get eye-witness accounts to events that would be unbelievable to most people, even in the increasingly strange world in which we live. I cannot promise that there will be many moments of levity or moments of heart, but I can promise my lived truth.
These days, in Empire City? I should just be lucky I lived long enough to tell my truth.
The woman confidently steps into the too-bright studio for another television appearance, her bright purple pantsuit chosen to display strength and femininity. In the face of such dangerous days, it is as important to find the truth as a journalist as it is to craft an image that can inspire others. Did she personally care about the latter as much as the former? Of course not, but her mentors have always been candid that she was a powerhouse. A female powerhouse. Those are the thoughts that distract her momentarily from the heightened stress of the month's news.
Members of the crew, including a make-up artist, flurry around her for several seconds, but she waves them off with a gesture and a terse frown. "I like my look as it is, frankly, and if you don't like it, then you can bite me." She gives a winning smile. "Respectfully, of course."
The make-up artist nods sheepishly, her auburn hair tied in a ponytail behind her while a messy set of cords connected to her headphones rest across her neck. "Y-yes, Miss Lane."
"Good," she says with a simple nod. "How long do I have until showtime?"
"Mr. Godfrey is aware that you're here," suggests another producer, dressed busily in recording equipment. She hates being part of the crew on a television set, and she's had to fill it occasionally for the Planet's broadcasts. "He will call you in shortly. Given the circumstances," the producer clears her throat pointedly, a solemn look on her face, "Mr. Godfrey has requested distance between himself, the crew, and any other guests for the foreseeable future. As such, you'll be-"
"Got it, a remote interview." Lois sighs. "If you'd have mentioned that, I could have saved bus fare."
The producer looks at her curiously. "You ride the bus?" The woman takes two steps back.
She merely stares. "You think I'm too good for public transportation? Ha! I should get you to say that in front of my dad - he won't stop laughing til the New Year!"
Another technician approaches quietly, earning a hurried look from the producer. She begins gesturing for the rest of the immediate team to act, and then turns back to Lois. "Mr. Godfrey is ready for you shortly. You familiarized yourself with the notes we submitted earlier?"
The reporter has the decency to not scoff in front of this poor producer. Instead, she puts on a pretty smile. "I could not put them down. Well-formatted, ma'am. Short, concise, to the… well, best talking points I've ever read."
The producer does not know how to respond to that, and Lois can't help but feel amused about the whole thing. In the face of such tragic circumstances, humor is the great balancer, even in inappropriate times.
A moment later, the crew shuffles Lois into place. A monitor displaying the anchor of the program, G. Gordon Godfrey himself, rests to the left, while another monitor shows her own feed alongside the two other guests. She does not recognize them personally, but according to the call sheet, the pudgy bespectacled man is Professor Darwin Jones of Rutgers University, and the uniformed military officer is General Wayne Hardcastle. She tries to focus on any memory of the latter through her interactions with her father, but nothing - he could be anyone of import. A quick text later, and maybe she can learn something during this conversation that might be useful.
"We return from our ill-timed ad break to continue our coverage of the horrifying events from Empire City," Godfrey declares in his own smarmy way, the well-kept sandy blond hair coiffed perfectly atop his withering features. No amount of Botox or fillers would help this guy, and yet, it almost works for him. "Joining me now are, perhaps, some familiar faces to many of you. First, and certainly not the most, we have U.S. Army General Wayne Hardcastle. Secondly, we have prized Pulitzer Award-winning journalist of the Daily Planet, Lois Lane. And last, but certainly not the least, we have Rutgers' own Professor Darwin Jones, an expert in the unexpected and the strange."
He pauses dramatically to wait for the audience to register who is who, and Lois does not smile or acknowledge the pause, merely taking time to think of her first pointed question and her first target.
"If you are just joining us," he continues, "or if you've had your head buried in the sand these short weeks, a terrorist attack struck New York's own Empire City. An explosion of unknown origin unleashed catastrophic damages to its famous Historic District, and in the ensuing aftermath, a never before seen and often fatal respiratory illness has begun to spread among its surviving population. General, could you please explain to the people what the military's response is to this crisis?"
Hardcastle tenses for a few short moments. "The White House has declared a state of emergency for New York state and has instituted a no-questions-asked quarantine around Empire City, per recommendations from the CDC until they work on a treatment to mitigate the symptoms of those affected. The intelligence community seeks answers for the perpetrators of this awful event-"
Lois cuts in. "Are you suggesting that the U.S. Government still does not have knowledge of the responsible foreign power who nuked a city of millions, a city on U.S. soil?"
"It was not a nuclear warhead," Hardcastle clarifies, towing the same line that many in his shoes have stuck to since it began.
"I do not know what is worse, General," Lois continues, "the idea that someone did nuke us and you're covering it up, or the idea that it wasn't a nuke and you don't know what exactly this bomb was. Everything about the aftermath suggests a chemical weapon, or perhaps a biological weapon, and on the scale from cherry bomb to nuke, those are way closer to nuke."
Hardcastle sneers. "I assure you, Lois-"
"Miss Lane," she clarifies without a hint of mirth and without hesitation.
"-Miss Lane," he grumbles, "that the U.S. government will act the moment we are aware of this attack's source. It is only a moment of time before one of our longstanding enemies takes credit for their actions, to make us look weak in the wake of tragedy."
Hmm.
"Which one, you think? China? Russia? Bialya?"
Hardcastle sternly replies, "I am not at liberty to speculate."
Lois knows that, but situations like this tend to bring the worst out in droves. There are far too many journalists, reporters, news anchors, and others looking into this event. Keeping everyone involved on one page is actually quite difficult, but discerning the truth from the falsehoods or misrepresented facts can be incredibly difficult. We can't all have a fancy lasso.
"This quarantine - how necessary is it?"
Hardcastle shakes his head. "I'm afraid I am not an expert in chemical weapons or the infectious diseases expert in the White House or CDC. Answering this would be out of my expertise, except to say that a mandatory, forceful quarantine will contain the affected area of any kind of serious infection, pandemic or otherwise."
Lois wants to bite at the authority they have to make those decisions, but all of that comes back to the presidency, and she doesn't want to make an enemy out of the most politically powerful human in the world. If things are truly as bad as they seem to be, then a quarantine is necessary. Even if, in the interim, people are trapped with gangs, looters, and other criminals.
Godfrey redirects the conversation to him with a loud clearing of his throat. "Professor Jones, we invited you here today to discuss your findings. You mentioned on Spitter that you had uncovered information about the Empire City Blast from video footage the public possesses of the event."
The professor adjusts his glasses and slowly nods, wiping a moment later at his thick mustache. "Er, yes, I did. My findings cannot be conclusive without firsthand research on-site, but with what evidence we have seen, I think we can rule out that it was a nuclear warhead of any size. The explosion appeared to be substantially electrical in nature, and its area of immediate impact was a mere few city blocks."
Godfrey's producers play the clip of the explosion with the most views on NowTube without a cue, earning more than a little respect from her. They are good at spinning a tale, when some in your circle are planning to stick to the talking points. So far, Lois has done everything in her power to push the envelope or to directly challenge the whole notion.
"Electrical, you say?" Lois asks, intrigued. "General Hardcastle, does that jive with any known or unknown chemical weapons?"
She can't tell if the revelation of significant electricity among the attack is something that surprises the military jackboot or not, the man's face impassive. "Miss Lane, I am certain that when the White House understands more, you'll be among the first to know."
Lois bites her tongue to remain professional, but a myriad of questions rush to her mind.
The cameras cut away from the three guests and back to Godfrey, perfect teeth gleaming in the studio lights. "And what, Professor Jones, do you make of this?"
The feed shifts to a second video, one that was posted… three hours ago? She has not seen this one - word travels fast, and information about Empire City is all anyone's discussing. A short clip, seconds long, but the new information, the new angle, is incredible. A single man races down a bridge while lightning strikes buzz through the air around him, coursing their powerful voltage into the street, into vehicles, into flesh. At first, it looks like he's running for his life, but no. From the look of the electricity racing down both arms in flickering arcs, Lois realizes three things.
One - this man is a walking lightning storm of destruction.
Two - this man may have generated the explosion.
Three - Godfrey invited her here not for her journalistic integrity, but for her close coverage of Superman.
Lois misses how Professor Jones answers the question, but Godfrey turns his attention quickly to her. "Miss Lane, in light of this new information, my benefactors and I thought it best to ask you your thoughts. In our field of work, you are perhaps the reporter closest to this new fangled metahuman-"
"Or alien," Hardcastle interrupts with indignation.
"- or alien, yes, phenomenon. This horrific event in Empire City may be the work of a single man that treads on God's domain. We know precious little of his motives, his background, his identity…. And yet, we know no one man should have the power to annihilate an entire city district in a single moment, nor to unleash an unstoppable illness upon the world. Miss Lane, care to comment your feelings on this?"
"My… feelings?" At Godfrey's urging, she frowns at the framing. "My feelings are that we do not yet know enough about this dangerous situation or this allegedly dangerous man. We can speculate, ask hard questions, uncover the truth! But to denounce him at this stage as some kind of meta terrorist is premature."
"But to denounce him at this stage as some kind of meta terrorist is prematu-"
Jason slaps a hand on my back roughly, and I almost spill the glass of tea across the table in surprise. Interest in the static-filled news broadcast fading after that interruption, the blond beams that winning smile, and I have to roll my eyes and fight through a renewed migraine. Never had 'em before, but now… "I'm just glad you're out, bro. We should celebrate."
"Is that not what we're doing?" I ask, desperately wishing my brother would bother to pay attention. "What else are we going to find to do when everything around us has gone to shit? Give it four days, and this place'll be out of stock of anything fun. Sooner if the gangs find out they're open."
"All right, fair point. We could…."
His voice trails off as he quickly runs out of ideas.
"Look, just take this as a blessing. We're getting drinks in an open bar. Might be the only chance we get for months."
It truly is a miracle that the barkeep bothered to let a few people filter through every hour, and an even more unlikely one that Jason found the place at all. It's a system that will work for a time, but the longer this goes on, the more meaningless it'll be to try to make money. He'd be better off to shutter his doors, hide his valuables, and hunker down somewhere.
If not for where I've been for some time, things would be different.
"Oh, this is great, Logan," Jason relents. "It's celebration enough that the hospital let you out-"
"A hospital that barely has anyone on staff while it's overstuffed?"
"Who cares?!" Jason declares. "You survived the Blast. You're not coughing, and you don't have any signs of a rash - you're gonna be fine." He claps my back again, rougher this time, and I'm reminded exactly why he was on the shortlist to go to Gotham U and play for the Knights. He's always been the one of us with the muscle, even though I'm older and shorter. "More than fine! It's incredible, really, how you managed any of that."
The louder his voice gets, the more nervous I get at the other folks around us. People who likely lost loved ones in an explosion with an unknown death toll. An explosion that should have killed me, but didn't.
"I just think I got lucky."
So lucky that I don't remember what happened. The actual explosion, the fiery aftermath, the scarred body, the rush to find aid. Jason was probably luckier, honestly - he was on the other side of the Neon when it happened, so he didn't lose two weeks of his life hooked to an IV.
"Lucky is an understatement, Logan." His eyes turn wild at the possibilities, and he leans in closer. Swiping to open his phone, he pulls up a picture a second later. "That's you then. But you- now? How?"
No preparation can ever ready you to see a picture of yourself covered in thick burns, a patch of brown hair replaced by scar tissue, left arm pinned under heavy debris, and bruising in nearly every visible patch of skin. The most horrific detail of it all, the one that made me finally look away and into my brother's anxious eyes, is that a burned segment of my t-shirt had been so hot that it melted into my skin.
None of that damage remains.
Healed.
All of it, gone, in days what might have taken months to heal, if at all.
"Delete that picture!" I nearly shout, before remembering that we're in public. For whatever public there even is anymore in a disaster zone. "Wrong person gets a hold of that, and I can't explain it! Photogram filters have limits, J."
He frowns, some of the excitement undercut. "Okay, fine." He fumbles with his phone for a second and then shows me the picture is gone, replaced by a nicely taken picture of a plate of boiled chicken and mashed potatoes.
"J, please don't tell me that you take pictures of your meals for your followers-"
Jason looks aghast. "Don't diss what my fitness bros want to see." He flexes a bicep, and it's all I can do not to groan. "And - wow. Deflection, much? How did you survive all of that without a scratch on you?"
"I see scratches!" I gesture to a scar on my left arm, but he tilts his head knowingly.
"You got that from a scooter accident when you were ten."
I frown, not wanting to discuss any of the implications of this. I don't know whether to be horrified or hopeful - something disturbing happened, something that could not yet be explained. The kind of thing that would make my mother "praise the lord." And it's not even the strangest thing to have happened to me, but I've long since stopped trying to figure that one out.
"Until we talk about it, Logan, our questions don't just go away."
"They won't go away because I have no god damn answers!" A spike of pain erupts behind my eyes, and I rub at my temple.
Jason ignores me, rattling off a list he must have had made for a while. "Maybe the nurses were testing a super-drug at the hospital."
"A super drug that can heal bruises, burns, and crushed bones? In days?"
"Why not?" he asks genuinely. "There's a dude two states away who can fly and stop trains with his bare hands."
Several seconds pass, deadpan. "I hate how reasonable that sounds."
He grins. "I have that effect on people."
"You once joined an MLM," I deadpan, and he just glares. I continue. "If there's a super-drug like that, I feel like we'd know about it by now. Especially with how many people were hurt, injured, or worse by the Blast. They'd be passing it around in droves."
He concedes that with a shrug, and then leaps at his next outlandish theory. "Maybe everyone who was hurt by the Blast is going to come back healed, like you did. Some kind of time-field-eff…" He trails off at his own thoughts. "Okay, never mind, that one was dumb. Forget I mentioned it."
I don't prod him, wondering how in the hell people who were vaporized were going to magically return with healed bodies. My situation is weird, but that's a step too weird.
Jason rattles off a few more outlandish thoughts, barely audible as he convinces himself that there's no way any of that could be real. "Alien conspiracy?" I shake my head, not bothering to show surprise anymore. As much as I know Superman is an alien, I'm not sure the rest of the world does yet. "Superpowers? Hah, you could be that guy's sidekick. That's what they do in the comics, right?"
I just shake my head, migraine incoming at the lunacy. "C'mon, let's get back before it gets dark. As bad as this city is in the daytime, I don't want anything to do with those Reapers at night."
Jason reluctantly nods and takes a long swig from his beer. He shares a wave with the bartender, adjusts his backpack onto his back, and then beckons me to follow him out the rickety door. I wave him off for a minute and approach the barkeep, a burly-looking man with a burning cigar in hand.
"Thanks for letting us in," I say sincerely, earning a small smile from the man while he pours a fresh pitcher from a locked fridge below the countertop. A loaded shotgun rests on a shelf behind him, in arm's reach. "You didn't have to do that for anyone right now."
"I'd say you're welcome to come back, but I don't know how much longer I can hold things together," he admits solemnly. "But I appreciate your words, nonetheless."
"I'm Logan Masters, and that's my brother Jason back there," I explain, and J gives the barkeep a nod.
"Kev Sandall," the man offers.
"I was in college for journalism and creative writing before all this happened. I'm, well, if we make it, I plan to document all of this. I'll make sure to write about your kindness."
He furrows a brow in my direction, but I shake my head. "Anyway, thanks again."
Heading toward Jason and the door, I turn one final time to the television screen, watching the twenty-four-hour news cycle spin its endless coverage of the Empire City Blast. How amazing it is that Lois mother-fucking Lane is actually real?
"C'mon," Jason says impatiently, "you're the one who said you wanted to get back before dark."
"Yeah, yeah, coming."
The streets are a wreck. Looting has ruined any open shop fronts that might have valuable supplies or valuables they could sell when all this is over. Windows to homes as far up as four or even five stories are broken, boarded, or both, while those near the top of skyscrapers tend to be ignored or just boarded. Cars - junkers or otherwise - lie abandoned on the streets while scalpers take advantage of any parts they can find. Some survivors who still brave the sidewalks wear masks, some wear their shirts tightly around their mouths, and some remain uncovered; all try to keep to themselves or to their loved ones, avoiding getting into anyone's business.
It won't be long until desperate people force their way into everyone's business. Groceries will be low or expended soon for most people, and I suspect a lot of mothers will be making their children eat nothing but rice for as long as that can last. Clean water is a godsend and might be the commodity everyone trades, unless the water main stays on.
"How long you think this'll take?" Jason asks as he wraps a navy scarf around his lower face, stepping over a pile of opened and picked-over trash.
"What'll take?"
"All this?" he asks. "Two weeks? A month? A year?"
I sigh, trying to remember what I know or have read. "I'm not a scientist, J, but it could be years."
That sobering thought brings the mood down for both of us, and the mood was already low. Part of me wonders if this is what Rick Grimes felt like when he woke from a coma to a completely changed Atlanta. The details are not the same, but nothing about this place feels like home.
One up-side? There aren't any zombies. Just a plague that kills some who are infected within hours, some within days.
Another? Someone like Superman will fix all of this soon. I'm sure of it. What good is growing up for a second time in a universe where DC Comics characters are real if they can't change it all back?
I toss, I turn, until I finally give up sleeping on the frayed couch that Jason swears is a futon, but it's so poorly shaped that it does nothing for comfort when you're trying to lay on it. Add in the migraines that haven't stopped, and it's a sleepless night for me. He offered the bed for at least tonight, but I refused, only now regretting it. The blond's favorite thing in the entire world, a three-year-old husky named Samantha, rests in his arms, and I can't possibly wake him up and make him suffer my fate too.
Jason's hideaway is little more than an off-campus one-bedroom apartment near Archer Square. In another life, another time, it might have been nice to be within walking distance of the university, but going there is meaningless for the foreseeable future. Its largest buildings were unlucky enough to face the harbor, and when the Blast hit part of the Historic District, enough debris struck that it was officially closed for the foreseeable future. I doubt that would change much - any building is fair game to scavenge for supplies if you're desperate enough.
Samantha senses that I'm awake, as there's little room for me to have some space of my own without disturbing the dog, and she whimpers lightly until I signal for her to quiet. The one saving grace of the apartment is a balcony, and I gather some courage just long enough to get some air. A box of scavenged supplies mostly blocks the sliding doors, but I push it aside as quietly as I can.
Sliding the door open and carefully closing it behind me without making much noise, I step into the moonlight and onto the poorly-cleaned space. It stinks slightly of cigarettes and stained alcohol, and it does not surprise me in the slightest to see how Jason really lives, my bare feet crunching old cigarette butts. A few pieces of plywood cover some of the balcony's open space, but there wasn't enough for everything.
My space is comparatively nicer, but it's inaccessible until the city, the police, or the military, or whoever let us cross from the Neon into the Historic District. They'd have to take us by boat or give us access to the bridges that still work, but who knows how long any of that will go? The feds will be picking over the blast radius for months, so what's the point in trying to poke the bear?
The migraine twinges with pain as my worries continue. Doomscrolling on my phone is far worse than usual when cell signal is intermittent at best, and the wi-fi here isn't working. Conspiracy brain wonders if that's all deliberate, but I can't imagine the government would really want to limit communication. It's not like a pandemic means that the public can't talk to each other in or out of the city.
No, it's more likely that there's some damage to a tower somewhere, or the lines, or something. A blast that wipes out a few city blocks is bound to knock several things loose in the aftermath.
The latest news is a video taken from a security camera showing 'The Electric Man.' His identity is still unknown, but damn it, the evidence is fairly damning. The clip clearly shows an explosion starting at his position, either from the metal sphere in his hands or from himself. Lois Lane was not eager earlier to call him a metahuman terrorist, but much of the media is now. I check to see if she's made any sort of comment on the latest, but her Spitter feed is empty for several hours and The Daily Planet has merely parroted the things that other sites and sources have, without her personal signature.
I consider what to do next, what Jason and I need to do in the morning to ensure that we can continue to eat, what any long-term plans are, until a-
Pap! Pap! Pap!
My head whirls around so fast toward the sound of distant gunfire that my phone slips from my grasp. I make a desperate grab for it before it falls four stories onto the dingy pavement below, but miss!
Cursing under my breath, I study its fall, listening for the sound of the impact as much as I expect to see it in the dimly lit sidewalk. Maybe my case-
It never hits.
Straining my eyes as my migraine spikes, I see the spot where it would have hit, but it's too dark to see details, but not so dark that I wouldn't see it if it were right there.
But it isn't.
My migraine ceases suddenly for the first time in hours, and I turn around in disappointment to make the trek downstairs to check for my shattered phone, annoyed to be doing this at night of all times.
I stop in my tracks.
Sitting on the balcony floor just behind me is… a phone. My phone? With my case?
I bend to make a reach for it, and it reaches for me at the same time. A column of darkness stretches soundlessly like an arm, phone in its palm, to make the handoff. My own hands burn with the same darkness, tinged slightly in white light, and good God I'm going nuts.
I gingerly take the perfectly undamaged cell phone from the shadowed hand, and when the device is safe, the hand and its arm recede until it returns… to my shadow? The aura of light around my own hands fades even as I question everything about my reality.
What the hell was that?