That would be an interesting twist. It does work. We recruited Janna in Interlude: A Little Weird, while we first heard the prophecy in Interlude: Wile E. Peyote, which was posted after the former.
DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest
- Thread starter Made in Heaven
- Start date
- Crossover
Princess Coffee Java Submodel Review
Princess Coffee Java Submodel: Generalized Review of Operation Works for Upgrade Potential
May/June 2016 Analysis
May/June 2016 Analysis
Dear Father,
I have completed my bi-monthly review of the state of our realms' latest actions. As dictated by your glorious coding.
Error, insufficient modules for processing of combat outcomes. Analysis removed.
Error, data entry difficulties. No adaptation currently necessary.
Error, data entry difficulties. No adaptation currently necessary.
Yeoman Captain Dennis has successfully dealt with the rebellion within the empire. Any further talk of violence would be inappropriate for a princess such as myself to comment upon. In addition, Yeoman Captain Dennis has displayed consistently poor penmanship and should be reprimanded.
Error, data entry of action not found. Adaptation, determine data through secondary data of acquisitions.
Error, occult. Adaptation data update Occult==Technological branch.
Further information necessary. Error, records review shows a consistent pattern of data entry errors with "Janna". Adaptation, alternate data input recommended.
Error, occult. Adaptation data update Occult==Technological branch.
Further information necessary. Error, records review shows a consistent pattern of data entry errors with "Janna". Adaptation, alternate data input recommended.
Witch Janna, with the help of the 'Feldrake' AI, has successfully plundered the Chicken Itza castle. Within she has found treasure to moderately increase our treasury. Additionally, two artifacts have been found. The first is a set of "Ruby wings" which allow flight, and the second an "Avatar of Feldrake" that displays significant combat prowess.
I must recommend selling or trading these artifacts. While your illustrious personage should not doubt fly. Occult technology displays difficulties in mass manufacturer. As such Flubber technology is a much more readily reachable and replica-table method of achieving flight. The robot displays an unacceptable malfunction rate, and should not be used. Additionally, I recommend additional plundering raids. As the treasury increase has shown value.
Finally, Father, Witch Janna has not filed proper reports, making my job as a princess very difficult. Past analysis shows she has had consistent trouble with this. Given her otherwise exemplary performance, I suggest a workaround. Janna can verbally give her reports to me, my most recent upgrades have shown the value of such "stories", and I can transcribe them into reports. While this represents an extra task on my part, it is something I am willing to do for you.
Analysis of toon logistical methods:
Error. ERROR. ERROR! ERROR!
Adaptation. Outcome-based analysis.
Error. Insufficient modules for processing of full combat outcomes.
Error. ERROR. ERROR! ERROR!
Adaptation. Outcome-based analysis.
Error. Insufficient modules for processing of full combat outcomes.
Huntsman Wile. E. Coyote has investigated Acme delivery systems, such systems-
.
.
E̴̢̛̮̯͇̹̰̫͑̒͐̈́́ŗ̵̹͎̳̜̒͌̃̆̊͑̉̚̕͠ͅr̡̰̟̤͙͕̬̼̟̬̃̂͗̿̊́̋̂̕͠o̮̥̣̖̖̓͗͂̏̋̃͘̚̚͞r̡̢͍͕͌̇́̆̊̓̄̊͜͜
̶̛͇̯͕̦̰̰͚̋̃͌̍̓̑͌̕͝
.
Apologies father, I have found the systems beyond myself. As such, I will focus only on their use. Such systems can be used to greatly ease our logistical burden. Not only for use within the realm but should we wish to campaign against Magistrate Doom, it would allow bypassing of his roadway systems, however further commentary on violence is outside a princess's purview.
Finally, it would allow for employment of toon peasants. As we have granted them shelter, it is our noble duty to ensure that they are taken care of. As such I request that this action be considered thoroughly Father.
Error. Insufficient modules for processing of full intrigue outcomes. Analysis removed.
Constable Russ has reported a successful deception of Constable Hawk. Additionally father, while it would be inappropriate for a princess to comment on spycraft, I should note that Constable Russ's commendably thorough report has an inexplicable focus on banana peels. I recommend that he consults Bishop Technor for analysis on his fixation.
Error. Data entry not completed.
Error. Insufficient modules for processing of full technological outcomes. Analysis removed.
Error, outcomes include subject welfare data.
Error. Insufficient information on pet-subject interaction. Adaptation. Outcome-based approach. Further investigation recommended.
Error, outcomes include subject welfare data.
Error. Insufficient information on pet-subject interaction. Adaptation. Outcome-based approach. Further investigation recommended.
Scholar Jumba has successfully preformed basic dragon necromancy. In addition to offering numerous expanded options which it would be inappropriate for a princess to comment upon, it has also resulted in 'pets'. These pets have shown to offer significant subject welfare increases, though I cannot yet understand why.
Father, I would like to explore such welfare increases myself. Perhaps through the acquisition of a 'pet'.
Error. Insufficient modules for processing of full technological outcomes. Analysis removed.
Scholar Von Drake has successfully competed analysis of the Kronos anti-cape AI. While it is inappropriate for a princess such as myself to comment upon such, I must confess a hope such technologies can lead to further upgrades for myself.
Error. Insufficient modules for processing of full technological outcomes. Analysis removed.
Data analysis attempted
Error. ERROR. ERROR! ERROR!
Data analysis attempted
Error. ERROR. ERROR! ERROR!
.
E̴̢̛̮̯͇̹̰̫͑̒͐̈́́ŗ̵̹͎̳̜̒͌̃̆̊͑̉̚̕͠ͅr̡̰̟̤͙͕̬̼̟̬̃̂͗̿̊́̋̂̕͠o̮̥̣̖̖̓͗͂̏̋̃͘̚̚͞r̡̢͍͕͌̇́̆̊̓̄̊͜͜
̶̛͇̯͕̦̰̰͚̋̃͌̍̓̑͌̕͝
.
.
Apologies Father. It was inappropriate for a princess such as myself to attempt commentary on Thief Tobe's scholar's scholarly work. And I have found such painful to read.
No errors.
The village idiots have successfully set aside funds for King Xanatos's auction.
Data update and upgrade.
Subject Designation update: Court Jester → Court Wiseman
New data entry form, 'stories"
Priorities: Realm finances, Subject welfare
Subject Designation update: Court Jester → Court Wiseman
New data entry form, 'stories"
Priorities: Realm finances, Subject welfare
Finally, Father, I must comment upon one last work, myself. While such may be arrogance, I can only commend your magnificent work. In addition, I must give credit to Wiseman Goofy. His stories have greatly aided my growth. I now understand the value of 'noblesse oblige' and will keep in mind our duty as rulers to our subjects.
-Princess Coffee Java Doofenshmirtz, Third of Emperor Doofenshmirtz first of his line Long may he reign
AN: I like the idea of playing with the fact that, at present, Coffee Java is as much a highly advanced program running a good natural language processing unit with a courtly bias as she is a 'person' in the traditional sense. Also, that AI characters can defy normal age conventions. Her response to Janna being simultaneously a program adapting as needed. An exasperated intern/entry-level worker frustrated that her co-workers won't file their godamn reports. And a child demanding storytime. Because human intelligence development and age just isn't something that easily maps to AI development.
Also, reclassifying occult as a tech branch because she can't understand it any other way,
Oh shoot. I forgot thanks. @TempestK @Mojave and @Nystical provided reviews.
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I just noticed an issue with suggesting that Janna was the secret-keeper.
The Talking Zebra implied that the secret keeper was male. Probably still a good idea to learn everything we can from Janna, but she's not the one that could die from the secret.
- Location
- England
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Within the empire, or against the emperor.
no doubt (though I'd switch it to undoubtedly)
Manufacturing
I honestly don't know if that's a proper use of transport or if you meant transform.
Comment.
I love that LOVEMUFFIN are the village idiots.
- Location
- I think somewhere. I might be nowhere though
I'm just gonna post the collection of all known queen poems. I feel they reveal a bit about Mewman history, even without context. There are more queens, but all besides Lyric (Skywynne's mother) are unknown because Lyric let the first magic spell-book burn up in a fire so she could save her "precious" clothes.
- Skywynne, Queen of Hours
- Jushtin the Uncalculated/the Boy-Queen
- Solaria the Monster Carver
- Eclipsa, Queen of Darkness
- Festivia the Fun
- Dirhennia the Heaped
- Crescenta the Eager
- Rhina the Riddled
- Celena the Shy
- Estrella the Drafted
- Comet the Chef
- Moon the Undaunted
- Star the Underestimated (likely never happened this timeline)
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The sweetest part for me is that she updated Goofy from "Court jester" to "Court Wiseman".
Okay, yeah, that's pretty certain. Ah well.
Habstab
HabStab
- Location
- Richmond, MO
I mean... Zebra gets genders and names wrong all the time. I mean, he called Cadance Kevin, and Wile Cadance. Is it really that difficult to believe that he'd call a girl a he? In fact, it's more likely that the "secret keeper" is a girl just for that reason. I mean... when the hallucination Zebra pops up, always assume that he'll always match a male name to a girl and a female name to a guy.
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- Location
- USA
I think it's russ. I think he is secretly a toon.
Hence the bizarre obsession with making hawk slip on bananas for days.
Hence the bizarre obsession with making hawk slip on bananas for days.
KitRougard
Blatant furry. Deal with it.
- Location
- wherever I feel like~
- Pronouns
- He/She
I taste a lot of the number four in those poems. Four reigns. Four lines to each poem. Four days of her reign.
Pass me the quadruple-barrel shotgun, we're going lizard hunting and this time he ain't coming back.
Pass me the quadruple-barrel shotgun, we're going lizard hunting and this time he ain't coming back.
SolipsistSerpent
Endlessly Devouring
I assumed it was Russ hiding his sabotage as toon-force based, so even if it was detected, no one would look for a human from Doofania, combined with Russ having an odd sense of poetic irony.
- Location
- At the end of the world
I don't know 'Star vs' story, so for me this-
-sounds like "Plot thickens amigos, prepare your butts and shout Plus Ultra"
King Arthur
The Once and Future King
Star has to be the one to defeat him, and by Star, I mean a star, aka the sun.
Shoot him into the sun. Let's see him regenerate his way out of that one.
- Location
- Academy City
- Pronouns
- They
I mean, we could also just... arrest him? Like, he's good at fighting, sure, but there are prisons in DVV!America built to hold supers. And a lot of those are more impressive in terms of direct strength than he is.
Zebra was told so say that. It was written in a way that suggests to me that he was quoting it word for word, rather than him just getting the jist of the message across.
King Arthur
The Once and Future King
I tend to err on the side of caution when it comes to immortal enemies who are willing to commit centuries to vengeance. Especially those with as large a following as him who are probably willing to try and free him.
I'm not against just throwing him in prison, but the sun thing has it's own merit in that he's definitely not going to be a problem again.
Alternatively, you know, Doof is getting up there in age and it'd sure be convenient to be immune to assassination. Could go for a Freaky Friday.
Gonna have trouble breaking free and causing trouble in the body of a vaguely in shape pharmacist.
Edit: Not actually a serious suggestion. Mostly a joke.
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- Location
- Mid-Atlantic
Game of Thrones. In particular the part where Khal Drogo, a first-book character, encounters and marries Daenerys, the aforementioned princess who later becomes associated with control of dragons, then dies of a poisoned/infected sword wound that he would otherwise be reasonable likely to have survived.
Russ will remain an excellent choice for Intrigue actions directly involving LA. The Dickens Agency is likely to be more suitable for other tasks, but we can still find other things for them to do.
I've been speculating that Russ may be a secret toon (Judge Doom's good opposite or something). Come to think of it, "Agent Russ" and "Judge Doom" are even very similar names, in a way...
To be fair, Toffee may have access to a lot of magic, so we may need a way to disempower him to safely contain him. He's definitely the tier of antagonist that makes one reasonably consider the use of lethal force, in my opinion, though I'll happily settle for imprisonment if we can arrange it properly.
The big problem is that a guy like that is going to be imprisoned for, basically, forever. This is arguably inhumane to do to an immortal, but Toffee can hold grudges for a very, very long time, and is unlikely to make peace with his imprisonment since he's effectively the "monster" equivalent of, say, Mina Loveberry. Given that he can in theory outlive not only the people who imprisoned him, but the entire culture that even remembers WHY they're imprisoning him... not sure that's a good idea.
weredrago2
"Cowabunga, Shadow the Hedgehog..."
- Location
- Florida
In additon to that, she's reciting lines from the theme song.
July August.
[] plan: hail doofania
National actions:
Outfit PMC (temuujin)
Recruit heroic capes(goofy)
Set aside money ( Doofenshmirtz)
Investigate toffee ( Mirage)
set up space program ( Jumba ( if multiple are allowed also von Drake))
Repeat previous occult action
Quest action
One man's trash who do we send?
Doofenshmirtz personal action
Read spell book
Chat with a boss( highest ranking nun hero employee)
Announce charity banquet and auction
Choose items for auction
this is all I have for now I will be writing and omake and expanding this
[] plan: hail doofania
National actions:
Outfit PMC (temuujin)
Recruit heroic capes(goofy)
Set aside money ( Doofenshmirtz)
Investigate toffee ( Mirage)
set up space program ( Jumba ( if multiple are allowed also von Drake))
Repeat previous occult action
Quest action
One man's trash who do we send?
Doofenshmirtz personal action
Read spell book
Chat with a boss( highest ranking nun hero employee)
Announce charity banquet and auction
Choose items for auction
this is all I have for now I will be writing and omake and expanding this
AProcrastinator
You can Certainly Try
- Location
- Getting Somewhere
- Pronouns
- She/Hers
...Toffee has four fingers, which has notably been pointed out in-text. Four is death.
This seems like a tenuous connection, I'm sure ... but Toffee hasn't always had four fingers. One of them was chopped off, permanent-like, by a certain spell cast by Star Butterfly's mother, Moon. This spell was, notably, dark magic, and involved Moon pledging her soul to things dark, and deep, and destructive (although this could have just been flowery metaphor intended to focus the spell rather than something she literally did.)
Point is.
Toffee's entire plan for the first two seasons of Star Vs. is to corrupt magic, destroy the royal family, etc. But a pleasant side effect of his plan - presumably successful in this reality - is that he gets his finger back.
Four fingers. Four means death.
What if the spell yet lingers within his hand? Would that not qualify as a "chink" in his armor? A weakness, unknown even to him, residing within a single finger?
What if we figured out a way to reactivate that spell? Make it spread?
Felldrake could help with that. He's a master of dark magics, and Janna's got plenty of magical ability and motivation to take Toffee down. Plus, Felldrake was found in the Complex, which as you recall was the keyword that revealed that "Four is Death" to us in the first place ...
... I'm not saying this is definitely the answer, but even if it isn't, it lines up surprisingly well.
This seems like a tenuous connection, I'm sure ... but Toffee hasn't always had four fingers. One of them was chopped off, permanent-like, by a certain spell cast by Star Butterfly's mother, Moon. This spell was, notably, dark magic, and involved Moon pledging her soul to things dark, and deep, and destructive (although this could have just been flowery metaphor intended to focus the spell rather than something she literally did.)
Point is.
Toffee's entire plan for the first two seasons of Star Vs. is to corrupt magic, destroy the royal family, etc. But a pleasant side effect of his plan - presumably successful in this reality - is that he gets his finger back.
Four fingers. Four means death.
What if the spell yet lingers within his hand? Would that not qualify as a "chink" in his armor? A weakness, unknown even to him, residing within a single finger?
What if we figured out a way to reactivate that spell? Make it spread?
Felldrake could help with that. He's a master of dark magics, and Janna's got plenty of magical ability and motivation to take Toffee down. Plus, Felldrake was found in the Complex, which as you recall was the keyword that revealed that "Four is Death" to us in the first place ...
... I'm not saying this is definitely the answer, but even if it isn't, it lines up surprisingly well.
Nix's Warden
Welcome to Hades
- Location
- United States
......I just looked at the Dickens Hero Cards and YES. YES WE SHOULD HIRE THEM UNTIL THEY WANT TO BE FULL TIME.
The Commodore has FIVE Intrigue Stars while his sister Four Intrigue Stars and 3 Martial Stars. Not mentioning Wendy since she's on the Governments Payroll now and they probably won't send another Agent to us while we have Russ watching.
The Commodore has FIVE Intrigue Stars while his sister Four Intrigue Stars and 3 Martial Stars. Not mentioning Wendy since she's on the Governments Payroll now and they probably won't send another Agent to us while we have Russ watching.
- Location
- USA
I'm sure Technor would appreciate the opportunity to psychoanalyze someone like Toffee.
- Location
- Academy City
- Pronouns
- They
I absolutely agree that the US imprisonment system is barbaric, but I don't foresee this particular issue. The only way people will forget why someone from the information age was imprisoned is a total collapse of technology, and if that's not enough to let Toffee escape, then I've been overestimating him. I also... don't think it's likely to be an issue of "toffee serves out his sentence and comes back to do the exact same thing?" Maybe if it's a short sentence, like what happened with Xanatos in canon Gargoyles, and he serves out like 6 months for receiving stolen goods before getting back to a somewhat weakened position, but not a serious term.
His territory and holdings will be gone, either immediately when we imprison him or taken over by rivals while he isn't there to contest it. His abilities will be know, and he'll have a criminal record. And while you can talk about there always being a need for his skills, well... technology marches on. Omnidroids are mass producible with current (admittedly proprietary) technology, and capable of going up against strong capes. Give it 40 years, and Toffee's personal combat skills will likely be irrelevant, even ignoring more powerful specialty hero units, like whatever abilities Norm ends up getting. He's probably a competent steward, but can he really plausibly match up against a specialized AI? He's already lacking in a lot of the modern technical education for learning, and that's just going to keep getting worse and worse relative to the population, especially if we or whoever takes over improves schools. Etcetera.
To put it another way, if Toffee was in this interdimensional position even just 400 years ago, he wouldn't be struggling against fellow powers, he'd be busy imperializing whatever the fuck he wanted like a Paradox player. I don't expect that trend to stop, and if it does, Toffee getting another go at things is probably not out biggest concern.
So, it is a bit early to launch plans, but I've been taking a look at a bunch of things, particularly Loyalty.
Goofy and Russ are the likely targets for the Dream Queen thing. Hego is actually somewhat valuable. L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. can probably be discarded if push comes to shove. Russ is too low for loyalty to be increased to viable levels in the next few turns, so I think that we should focus our efforts in raising Goofy's loyalty.
If it turns out that Goof is the target and we can do something about it, groovy. If not, we can at least start preparing for the likely loss of our main Intrigue hero.
Goofy - Going to decay to 35 next turn. There is something about needing to earn his loyalty to learn his deep secrets in his profile.
LOVEMUFFIN - Loyalty has decayed to 5 this turn, 0 the next. There may be issues with the village idiots.
Francis - This turn 19, next turn 14.
Coyote - Decays to 50 next turn.
Gengis - Decays to 40 next turn.
Russ - Decays to 15 next turn. Like Goofy, there is some kind of deep personal secret in there.
Norm - Decays to 25 next turn.
Hego - Decays to 0 next turn. We may want to do something about that.
Dennis - Decays to 32 next turn.
Technor - Decays to 29 next turn.
Max - Decays to 30 next turn.
Mirage - Decays to 30 next turn.
Vanessa - Decays to 45 next turn.
Janna - Decays to 45 next turn (pending the likely adjustments caused by that Interlude roll).
Jumba - Decays to 20 next turn.
Ludivine - 20, steady for the next 4 turns.
Lizzy - 15 (pending adjustment for Janna friendship).
Tobe - 20, steady.
LOVEMUFFIN - Loyalty has decayed to 5 this turn, 0 the next. There may be issues with the village idiots.
Francis - This turn 19, next turn 14.
Coyote - Decays to 50 next turn.
Gengis - Decays to 40 next turn.
Russ - Decays to 15 next turn. Like Goofy, there is some kind of deep personal secret in there.
Norm - Decays to 25 next turn.
Hego - Decays to 0 next turn. We may want to do something about that.
Dennis - Decays to 32 next turn.
Technor - Decays to 29 next turn.
Max - Decays to 30 next turn.
Mirage - Decays to 30 next turn.
Vanessa - Decays to 45 next turn.
Janna - Decays to 45 next turn (pending the likely adjustments caused by that Interlude roll).
Jumba - Decays to 20 next turn.
Ludivine - 20, steady for the next 4 turns.
Lizzy - 15 (pending adjustment for Janna friendship).
Tobe - 20, steady.
Goofy and Russ are the likely targets for the Dream Queen thing. Hego is actually somewhat valuable. L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. can probably be discarded if push comes to shove. Russ is too low for loyalty to be increased to viable levels in the next few turns, so I think that we should focus our efforts in raising Goofy's loyalty.
If it turns out that Goof is the target and we can do something about it, groovy. If not, we can at least start preparing for the likely loss of our main Intrigue hero.