I'd like to make my pitch. Even with his Malus, Goofy is the stronger hero for it. Technor is 32+4-10=26 and Goofy 28+4-5=27 But I'd like to make a altnerate argument for putting Goofy on CJ and Technor on Doof. And I will do it, in Omake form.
Doctor to Doctor
"Dr. Doofenshmirtz. It is good to see you here, please take a seat."
The doctor rubs the back of his neck, awkwardness, Technor suspected. "Right. Sorry, just a little weird to do this, me being your boss."
"Not at all. One of the biggest problems in organizations can be those too high up unable to admit weakness. I believe you finally coming here represents a great deal of strength. " Also, privately, Technor did find supervillains the most fascinating of patients, and though it was slightly poor professionalism, he was curious about his boss. "Don't worry, everything in here is completely confidential." He may have been a supervillain, but some things were beyond the pale.
"Right. So, um, is there a couch I need to sit down on or-"
"I have one if you want, but they aren't necessary, would you prefer a comfy chair instead?"
"Oh, that's one of the ergonomic chairs!" Doofenshmirtz rushed to it. "Ugh, so much better."
"Back troubles?" You ask.
"CJ tried to replace my chair with a throne." He groans, perhaps the neck was simply physical discomfort then? "So, uh, how does this work now. We talk about my mother right?"
There is a second pause as Technor is only able to hold in his contempt thanks extreme restraint and the fact that his face is technically only a projection for patient benefit. "Freudian analysis isn't standard in the field these days." He offered neutrally. "Instead, I'd like to ask you what you would like to talk about."
"Oh, well, it's just a few things. I mean, it all started I was programming, the new Administrator AI."
"The one who insists on being called Princess Coffee Java?" Technor asked, unable to entirely keep the interest out. The idea of a robot patient was... interesting. On the one hand, similar circumstances might give him an advantage. On the other, he was programmed for human (and toon, and animal) psychology, and one did not send a Vet to treat humans. Not that it mattered right now, the other AI's were far too primitive to be that deep right now.
"Right, so, I programmed it, and Norm bugged me. Wanted a bedtime story, which I was so tired I read, and then well, I ended up programming CJ and it went wrong and called me father. Also when I woke up Norm was like 'you promised to think about it 10 months ago.'"
"This about what, if I may ask."
"About him being my son."
Technor noded, or more accurately tilts his entire body, because, well, no neck. "I see, and how does that make you feel?"
His fellow Doctor crosses his arms defensibly. "Not guilty, if that is what you are asking. Cause I don't. I mean, I'm not obligated to. He's just my creation, not my son. Just like an inator." Technor gives a small hum and he writes in his notes. "Hey, what are you writing? Are you writing something bad? I mean, it's not like I have a robot problem, I mean, I think you are great!"
"Of course," Technor responds, though even as he does acknowledge he is far beyond the Doctor's creations, suspicious are already forming in his circuits. "Please continue."
"Then, well, I saw Goofy reading her stories... CJ, that is. And he was just reading them to her like she was a child. Like, you, know, I used to read to Vanessa. It made me really uncomfortable and I've been talking a lot with Roger these days. He's my brother, always loved, always the lucky one. Only now I'm doing well instead and but I'm trying to bury the hatchet. But he's just so... he never thinks about me. I'm the one who thinks about him."
"I see." Technor says. It is fascinating how people can be so subconciously aware. Their seemingly unconnected ramblings forming connections that they can't see. "I apologize, but I must retract one of my previous statements. Would you be okay with telling me a bit about your childhood?"
"Ugh, no, I don't want to talk about that mess." Before Technor can even respond, Doofenshmirtz leans forward, "Anyways, so it all started when my parents missed my own birth." Technor found his vision fading as he was absorbed into the flashbacks.
They came one after the other, describing a litany of trauma that would be unbelievable had Technor not had so much experience with the unusual and supervillain. A lesser psycologist would not have been able to hand the level of flashbacks, being unable to write down their notes amid the sepia-toned trauma. Technor was thankfully superior, as he could commit notes to his memory bank. After what seemed like several hours, Doofenshmirtz finished and Technor found himself back in the office.
Privately, Technor felt that research into the time-distorting power of flashbacks was something that should be looked into. But lazers and machines were often the order of the day. Not that he could complain too much about that. Still, perhaps if he did this well, a grant might be considered. That, unfortunately, would have to wait. A quick check of his internal clock showed that even if it had not been hours, time was running short, and so he would, at best, only begin to be able to unravel the ball of issues that his current employer contained. "I see. That is quite a childhood. I'm very sorry you went through all that."
"Yeah, but it's fine now. I mean, I rule the Tri-State area. And I defeated my most hated rival. I'm great!" The tremble on the third sentence had a litany of implications, sadly, they were on a schedule and it was best to focus on one thing for now.
"Right. For now, I'd like to leave you with some thoughts and insights in the field of psychology. First, are you familiar with the concept of 'Golden Child and Scapegoat'?" Doofenshmirtz shook his head, and so Technor continued. "It is a type of psychological phenomena that manifests amongst abusive households."
"Abusive? I mean traumatic sure but-" Yet another thing they wouldn't have time for.
"In it, one child is designated as the golden child, a child who can do no wrong and is perfect. The other the scapegoat, can do no right and is terrible. The reasons why can vary; narcissistic projection, or giving the illusion of control. By scapegoating a child, all blame can be externalized to them, not unfortunately circumstances or the parent. By having a golden child, they can assure themselves that their scapegoating is rational and that they have a worthwhile legacy"
"Okay, okay I get it, I was the scapegoat and Roger the golden child-"
"But perhaps the most interesting thing is that both positions are considered abusive and damaging and lead to low self-esteem."
Doofenshmirtz stopped at that, confused. "Come again?"
"Both positions are abuse. The scapegoating issues are more apparent, as you are well aware. But the golden child experiences them as well. The projections the parents put on them cause them to need to be perfect. To constantly worry about not doing enough. And, when they fail, as everyone does, to find themselves paralyzed and unable to pick themselves up because failure is unacceptable."
"Okay, but like, Roger's not like that. Always so successful and happy. I mean, he's a little grumpy right, now, but that's because I won for once."
"They often feel the need to hide it, because they are taught that anger and sadness are for the scapegoat. That to show anything would imply they are like them."
"But... but Roger had everything. His parents love, the admiration of everybody."
"You mentioned that your father named his dog 'only-son'. Was Roger alive during that time?"
"I- he was like, only a few years old. Besides, once only-son got too old, my father went straight to Roger."
"Do you think Roger remembered 'only-son'?"
Doofenshmirtz frowned. "I don't see how he couldn't, given the way father would talk about him."
"So Roger lived his life being constantly reminded that his position as favored child could be replaced by a dog?"
"I-" Doofenshmirtz paused. "You know I never thought of it like that." Uncertainty in his voice. "I... let me think about this."
"Of course," Technor replied, silently setting a reminder to himself. Given Doofenshmirtz's previous avoidance issues, it was best not to let him sit on this for a year. "Now, on to Norm and Princess Coffee Java. I'd like to have you consider another phenomenon. Often abuse survivors." Survivors was the best to use. Given Doofenshmirtz's discomfort with the word 'abuse', Technor suspected that he would not like to be called a victim, a word with connotations of weakness and passivity. "Often, they tend to worry about children of their own. Worried that the will pass on that abuse-"
"Okay, I get it. I see where you are going with this." Doofenshmirtz interrupted. "I'm afraid of calling them my children because I don't want to be my father. I get it." Taking control of the conversation by preempting knowledge, Technor added to his notes. "But I have Vanessa."
"And from what I can see, you did a wonderful job raising a perfectly psychologically healthy teenager. However, I'd want you to consider, how did you feel when Vanessa was born?"
"Great, I mean scared obviously. But I was so happy to see my little girl."
"Happier than a boy?"
Doofenshmirtz gave a slight hum. "I mean, I guess. Actually, it felt like a relief."
"And your family was just Roger, and yourself, no sisters?" Technor asked, trusting his employer to make the connection.
"So... you are saying, I find it easier with Vanessa because she isn't a boy, and doesn't feel as much a repeat?"
"I think it is something to consider."
"But the ah 'Princess' is a girl..."
"And does that make you uncomfortable? More so than Norm?"
"Yes!" Technor let than hang in the moment, as Doofenshmirtz realized what he said. "Look, I mean, I can't treat them like my children, it wouldn't be fair to Vanessa."
"Has Vanessa expressed significant distress at them?"
"I mean, no but-"
"Vanessa is, and I feel you should give yourself some credit here. A young woman spreading her wings. But what I find most interesting is why you feel that it would be unfair to her."
"Well... I mean, other siblings wouldn't be fair to spring on her."
"I apologize doctor, but I have an appointment in about five minutes" Specifically destroying every non-energy efficient light you could find. "I think we've had a very productive conversation and I would highly encourage you to see my assistant about scheduling regular sessions. However, there is one last insight I wish you to consider, as you are a very intelligent man,and that is this. One of the effects of abuse households is making love seem like a limited resource."
Doofenshmirtz frowns at this, as Technor presses on. "That love for one child must come at the expense of another. I'd like you to consider that this is an aberration of relationships, and is not normal. That believing it is can cause problems not only in parent-child relationships, but in work, and other familial relationships as well, and I would encourage you to think about this."
With that, Technor turned and blasted himself through the wall.
"You, know." Said, the doctor, watching the other Doctor fly off. "I think I know why CJ felt the plaster expenses were so high for this building."
On a serious note, my sister is doing psychology as med school student, so I'm getting second-hand knowledge* when she talks about it. And make me start overanalyzing Doof until this was in my head..
*the worst kind of knowledge
docs.google.com
