DEI Employee rumours
So I happened to remember a thing I used to watch recently and decided to do version for DoofQuest:
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Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz - Some say… that his tragic backstories, have their own tragic backstories, and that if he were placed in cage with a hungry wildcat, they would somehow somehow settle their differences with a game of checkers… all we know is, he's called the Doof.
Goofy - Some say… that he is tied with an unnamed individual as the most powerful janitor ever and that if he ruled the world he'd institute [trial by ball game] … all we know is, he's Goofy Goof.
L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. - Some say… that their collective intelligence is lesser than that of any individual member and that once spent a two-month period attempting to interrogate an ordinary lab mouse… all we know is, they're called The League of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United or Frightening Investments in Naughtiness.
Major Francis Monogram - Some say… that if someone were to shave his moustache, he'd gain the strength of twenty gazelles in order to take revenge and that he has a strange knowledge of the ukulele… all we know is, he's called Major Monogram.
Wile E. Coyote - Some say… that he is he world-leading expert in the physiology of toons birds and the signs he used to communicate with are made of dinosaur ivory… all we know is, he's called Wile E. Coyote.
Genghis Khan - Some say… that this is actually the real Genghis Khan who was frozen in ice on a secret invasion of the North Pole and that the number of lunch thefts at DEI since he was hired has gone down by three-quarters… all we know is, he's called
Agent Russ - Some say… that his parents really did name him "Agent" and that his tears are the main ingredient in a powerful invisibility potion… all we know is, he's called Agent Russ.
Norm Prime - Some say… that some of the metal making up his core circuitry used to be part of a certain country's crown jewels and that he once played a game of monopoly that
didn't lead to any fatalities… all we know is, he's called Norm.
Hego - Some say… that he once angered Shego and lived and that he has a surprisingly in-depth knowledge of stamps… all we know is, he's called Hego.
Dennis the Duck - Some say… that a certain sandwich restaurant has declared him to be the cause of all evil and the real reason he can't find Donald is because he
is Donald… all we know is, he's called Dennis.
Technor - Some say… he has the best track record of any therapist to ever meet Doofensmertz and that the "T" on his head actually stands for Trombone… all we know is, he's called Technor.
Max - Some say… that he hasn't aged I two decades and that, if he were in charge of the travel department, skateboarding accidents would be up 382%… all we know is, he's called Max Goof.
Mirage - Some say… that the real reason so many people watch DEI business reports is to listen to her voice and that she was voted as having the 2
nd silkiest hair in business 2016… all we know is, she's called Elizabeth Peña.
Vanessa - Some say… that the day she was born the sun went black and that she's actually an agent of the fashion police… all we know is, she's called Vanessa Doofensmertz.
Janna Ordonia - Some say… that she once out-pranked the devil and, that out of her circle of friends, she's the normal one… all we know is, she's called Oh God Janna why.
Dr. Jumba Jookiba - Some say… that despite his Russian accent, he's actually Australian and that he once had so many pets he just assigned them numbers instead of names… all we know is, he's called Jumba
Ludivine von Drake - Some say… that one of her diplomas is in Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth-Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker and that she once stopped after popping and eating a single Pringle… all we know is, she's called Ludivine von Drake.
Queen Lizzy - Some say… that her humour is sharp enough to cut through awkward family tension and that the real reason fire ants are so scary is because she time-travelled that one time… all we know is, she's called Lizzy.
Tobe and the Vagabond Ninja - Some say… that his secret ultimate technique involves kissing his girlfriend and that his understanding of the Power of Friendship surpasses many shonen protagonists… all we know is, he's called Tobe.
Phineas and Ferb - Some say… that they have never got in trouble with their parents and that they are the reason why summer vacation had 104 days a few years ago… all we know is, they're called Phineas and Ferb.
Janus Lee - Some say… that his glasses are specially treated to filter out bad maths and that, according to a teenager with attitude, he might actually be Zordon… all we know is, he's called Janus Lee.
Kitsune - Some say… that her fireworks are illegal in every state except for Idaho and that when someone asked what her greatest regret was, she responded that she once stole a certain number of cakes… all we know is, she's called Kitsune.
Alan Bradley - Some say… that the real reason he was fired from ENCOM was for punching the CEO for the 39
th time and for a ten-year period, he believed that neon was the ultimate in stylish clothing… all we know is, he's called Alan Brady.
Wendy Wower - Some say… that she has a secret robot guardian and that she doesn't actually have a secret base built into Mount Rushmore… all we know is, she's called Wendy Wower.
Roddy Blair, King of Lairs - Some say… that the only reason that the Earth hasn't been taken over by the most power supervillain ever is because he made them such a cool crib that they're still there chilling to this very day and that he once got into a fistfight after winning the best sideburns in the west competition… all we know is, he's called Roddy Blair.
Tom Lucitor - Some say… that if you were to tell the people he surrounds himself with "in every group of friends there's the dumb one", they would all point to him, and that after getting out of an overnight stay in jail for something he did with Marco, he said his parents grounded him worse when he was five… all we know is, he's called Tom.
Wasabi - Some say… the colour cyan gives him flashbacks to an incident when he was nine-years old and that he once spent fifteen minutes lining up the perfect snooker shot that would win him the game but he sneezed at the last second… all we know is, he's called Wasabi.
Malifishmertz - Some say… the real origin of his hatred for his home country relates to llama and that the orb of his staff is actually a giant's gumball… all we know is, he's called Malfishmertz.
Marco Diaz - Some say… that he's not very good at anagrams and that he sometimes that he sometimes reaches for items from shelves only to realise too late that he's too short to reach them… all we know is, he's called I'm Cazador.
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And I came up with a fairly moderate (40-60 probably) inator idea:
Some Say-inator (Good) – A number of funny/positive memes get spread on the internet about Doofensmertz and his company. Gain a small boost to Public opinion.
Some Say-inator (Bad) – A number of memes with negative implications get spread on the internet about Doofensmertz and his company. Take a small loss to Public opinion.
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This was actually pretty fun so I think I might try doing some more of these based on other characters later... or, you know, an entire page on Russ; his basically write themselves
