Flintheart Glomgold
[ ] Remove the Vampire Infestation
DC 100
69+15+32+25+3=144
Critical Success!
Glomgold's Money Bin was seen festooned with garlic and painted images of dollar bills and himself. As of yet no one has seen it profitable to ask him why.
[ ] Establish ties with Zootopia
DC 70
41+20+37+7=105
Critical Success!
Glomgold Industries officially expressed interest in bidding on several major Zootopian projects in the coming months. Price tags are likely high, but Mayor Bellweather may be willing to pay it to avoid dealing with more… predatory firms.
[ ] Invest in Volatility
DC 110
56+58+29+50+5=198
Critical Success!
A series of Reverse Iron Condors have made Glomgold filthy rich…. Er. To be fair, no one could have expected anything different.
[ ] Litigate against Dracula Duck
DC 75
70+58+29+5=162
After a judicious amount of bribery, a successful counter-suit from Glomgold's lawyers was able to put the case of "Marquis Strahd Lacraud" and his ownership of the Vladstone Manor into the ground. The Count, having been defeated in both the courts and the streets, decided to leave the state of Calisota empty-handed. Where they will bare their fangs next is unknown.
[ ] Collaborate with Drakktech
DC 90
86+19+43+8=156
GI and Drakktech have announced a cooperative research initiative into the rare and difficult to produce alloy unimaginatively known as Impervium. Impervium, best known as the material of which the Money Bin is formed, is as impenetrable as it is expensive.
Well, looks like Glomgold did very well this turn. Either someone told him, he's spying on us (or someone we told), or he's just that good/lucky. Could be any of those.
Hmm. You know, I think we might want to consider reaching out to Glomgold. He's relatively sane, may have ties to our allies already, would likely be a good collaboration partner for any economic venture, and is unlikely to be on Doom's good side. It's worth a thought.
US Government
[ ] Assert federal authority
DC 80
17+32+30+50+7=136
The US Government authorized an unusually large expenditure on New Year's celebrations and the presidential inauguration this year, enacting military parades, Air Force flybys, and displays of cutting edge technology. To those in the know, this suggests a message that the eagle has claws still.
[ ] Inaugurate President Martinez
DC 80
75+36+23+40 (Successful Campaign)+6=180
Richard Martinez was inaugurated on January 20th to one of the most receptive crowds seen in recent memory. Coming off of a sweeping win in the elections and the economic failures of his predecessor, Martinez already enjoys considerable popularity with both parties and a large portion of the public. His first hundred days are eagerly awaited as voters wait to see if he'll hold true to his campaign promises regarding the SRA.
[ ] Prosecute Gangsters
DC 105
47+32+26+6=111
Critical Success!
In a series of marginally publicized trials following arrests made in Las Vegas last month, Aldrin Klordane was convicted for money laundering while gangsters Al Capone and Rat Capone were brought in on the world's first case of competitive tax fraud. The United States, which has suffered considerable problems with organized crime in recent years, is already touting a major victory in convicting major bosses, and has hinted more anti-crime operations may be on the way.
[ ] Put a man back on the Moon
DC 110
91+28+25+30 (Government Grant)+7=181
Critical Success!
To be Continued in Interlude: Plan D
[ ] Establish the Imagination Institute
DC 70
100+68+28+25+6=227
Critical Success! Something special unlocked!
A new research facility and organization devoted to the study of Toons and other examples of what the staff calls the 'Anthroficiticus Genus' was officially opened this week in northern Maryland. The organization had originally been dedicated to Dr. Blair Mercurial, a founder in the field. In a shocking development, the event was interrupted by none other than Dr. Mercurial himself, dressed in outlandish attire! Missing and long thought deceased, it is as yet unclear how Dr. Blair returned, or what it will harbinge for the broader staff or the Institute's erstwhile leader, Dr. Nigel Channing.
New options for collaboration with the government have been unlocked! If you can Imagine them.
Well, the US government did well. I kinda suspect Russ warned them about the Probabilinator. That seems like something he'd do.
I'm definitely thinking a collaboration with the US government would be a good idea. They're doing quite well lately, and so far our policy of cooperation has worked very well for us. I'm thinking a research project of some kind. They'd probably be very interested in the climate controlled environments for the space program, we might be able to arrange some sort of trade?
InventCo
[ ] ???
DC 120
33+16+40-30-4=55
Critical Failure!
Someone is free.
[ ] Advertise Helping Hats
DC 90
48+28+24+6=106
Critical Success!
The 'Helping Hat' entered the national market earlier this month, and already the product is being met with widespread acclaim. This handy new gadget from InventCo is a hat that can perform all sorts of tasks for its wearer, ranging from personal grooming to tying one's tie, and the best part is that it works without input! The manufacturers say that the product attunes itself to you after watching your daily routine and is expected to become even more efficient in future iterations. Already a smash hit with their test audiences in Florida, InventCo seems to have a bright future ahead of it.
[ ] Buy Large Co
DC 80
11+47+21+5=84
Critical Success!
In a move heard by few outside the business world, InventCo purchased Large Co, a company known for manufacturing cheap, well-fitting suits. With a clear throughline to their own attire industry, it isn't hard to see why.
[ ] ???
DC 100
21+0+17+4=42
Critical Failure!
Something has left this world and will never return. Something else has entered this world.
All in all, it's a good trade.
Hmm. Well, I'm inclined to think that the Crit fails are probably good news, but the rest is somewhat concerning. On the other hand... could we reverse engineer one of those hats? Not sure how much tech we might get out of it, but we could probably manage to uncover any brainwashing/control mechanisms, and that sounds like a very good idea.
BILL CIPHER
[ ] SAY HELLO TO ???
DC ???
87+??+??+?=???
CRITICAL SUCCESS
THANKS FOR THE CRIT.
Something weird happened.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!
Well, I guess this would have succeeded anyway, and it's unlikely to be immediately world destroying, but still.
AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Bellwether
[ ] Mr. Big crime crackdown
DC 120
2+5+26+2=35
Critical Failure!
To be continued in Interlude: The Tiger & The Shrew
[ ] Push anti-predator propaganda
DC 100
82+36+27+2=147
Critical Success!
Mayor Bellwether has continued her by now predictable push to demonize the predators of Zootopia, to continuingly predictable results. The Zootopian public has been whipped into a frenzy over fear of feral carnivores around every corner.
[ ] Repair climate control systems
DC 130
56+34+30+3=123
Critical Failure!
Mayor Bellwether's initiative to repair the various climate control systems around Zootopia has proven less than effective. Aging machines require parts and expertise that Zootopia no longer possesses due to the ongoing brain drain, and without them efforts to extend the lifetime of the already faulty systems seems to have only broken them faster. Savannah Central enjoyed 30 degree temperatures this week, leading to considerable public dissent.
Hmm. Bellwether is bad news, and I rather doubt she likes us at all, but we should definitely consider seeing if we can do something about that climate control. That just seems like too good of an opportunity to let go.
???
DC 100
64+14+20+5=103
Critical Success!
Police have started to see distribution of the Middleton Drug Cartel's characteristic nootropic samples in and around New York City. This is, obviously, concerning.
Huh. We might want to talk to David about this.