Greased Lightnin'; or Janus' Audition
Janus wasn't planning on auditioning for the musical at all. It was just a spontaneous musical number that he accidentally teamed up with L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. for that Agent Russ had seem them perform. It wasn't even
supposed to be a musical number! But well, seeing the fabulous new vehicle that the Wasteland team brought back.... he couldn't help himself.
He was examining the limo, popping the hood, testing the engine and hearing it purr with L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.'s help when the words just came to him as he was thinking of possible improvements!
"Why, this car could be systematic! Hydromatic! Ultramatic! Why, it could be Greased Lightnin'!"
The sheer
potential of the vehicle was astounding!
"We'll get some overhead lifters and four barrel quads, oh yeah!" he sung out, possessed by some unknown urge.
"Keep talking, whoa, keep talking!" L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. encouraged.
"Fuel injection cutoffs and chrome-plated rods, oh yeah!" He replied!
"We'll get her ready, We'll kill to get her ready!" Janus had the sneaking suspicion that nothing in L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.'s response was meant as a metaphor.
"With a four-speed on the floor, they'll be waiting at the door!" He replied, and without stopping to take a breath, L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. joined in!
"You know that ain't no shit! We'll be getting lots of tit in Greased Lightnin'! Go, go, go, go go go go go go go go!"
(Go) Go Greased Lightnin', you're burning up the quarter mile
Greased Lightnin', go Greased Lightnin'!
(Go) Go Greased Lightnin', you're coasting through the heat lap trials
Greased Lightnin', Go Greased Lightnin'!
You are supreme, the chicks'll scream
For Greased Lightnin'
Go, go, go, go go go go go go go go!
There were no musical instruments anywhere, but music filled the air regardless (later, he learned it was from Janna's E-Pod which she surreptitiously plugged into the speakers). The tune was familiar, but the instrumentation was much more... Metal.
The ideas came fast and furious and there was no filter at all between his mouth and his brain as he pondered the ways to supe up the vehicle in front of him!
"Purple fringe tail lights and 30-inch fins, oh yeah (Ooo)! A Palomino dashboard and duel muffler twins, oh yeah (Ooo)! With new pistons, plugs and shocks, I can get off my rocks! You know that I ain't bragging, she's a real pussy wagon! Greased Lightnin'!
Go, go, go, go go go go go go go go~!"
And then, though Janus wasn't sure if it was a Montage, Backstory, Day Dream, or just expositional flashback, suddenly they were at the Doofania Race course and he was wearing his track suit, sliding into the driver's seat!
"Go Greased Lightnin', you're burning up the quarter mile!"
And there was L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. on the chorus! "Greased Lightnin', go Greased Lightnin'!"
"Go Greased Lightnin', you're coasting through the heat lap trials!" Janus sang as the limo drifted round teh curves in a way that no limo should ever drift.
"Greased Lightnin', go Greased Lightnin'!"
"You are supreme! The chicks'll cream! For Greased Lightnin'!" He sang as he breached the finish line in his newly suped up super-limo.
As L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. sang the outro "Lightnin', lightnin', lightnin' Lightnin', lightnin', lightnin', lightnin', lightnin'..." Janus had only one thought in his head. Somehow, someway, he had to meet this Duke of Detroit. This... was a soul who'd truly Appreciate working with DEI on SPLIT/SECOND.
