Various random stuff I write will be posted here.
Dimitriye98's Scribbles, Dribbles, and Drabbles
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Various random stuff I write will be posted here.
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Runaway Found
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Runaway Found
She stared up at the sun. After a few hours in the post-Second Impact heat, her face was already baked to a bright red painful sunburn. Soon, dehydration would give way to heat stroke, delirium, and, eventually, death.
"Synch rate zero... Not qualified to be the second child. My reason for existence is gone now." She blinked at the sun painfully, her eyelids dry and cracked. "Nobody will look at me now. Not papa, not mama, not anyone. There's no reason for me to live anymore." She stared at it. The dots in her vision almost looked like vultures, waiting for their prey to die. She relaxed her neck completely, letting it hang back over the edge of the tub.
"Asuka!" The voice, though clearly yelled, was made faint from distance and from passing through multiple walls. "Asuka! Where are you?" Nevertheless, she recognized it.
"Shinji?" she croaked out. Of all people to come looking for her, it was that docile idiot? She supposed she'd have to take it. She wasn't the great pilot of Unit-02 anymore. No one else would come looking for her. She wasn't valuable cargo anymore.
She tried calling out but her voice betrayed her, battered by heat exhaustion and dehydration. "Shinji… I'm here…" The words were barely a whisper. Typical. Betrayed in the end by my own body.
"Asuka!" The voice called out, this time from the other side of the apartment, apparently having passed it. Soon he'd be off into the distance and leave her to death.
She closed her eyes and let the blackness take her.
Shinji lay in bed, listening to his SDAT. For all he tried, it wasn't enough to block out the worry. Asuka still hadn't come back. Misato said Section 2 was on it, but frankly, NERV's intelligence division hadn't really inspired his confidence. When he'd run away he'd easily ditched their detail, and clearly Asuka had too.
Misato was still dealing with the fallout from Armisael, so she couldn't take a more active role in finding the girl. As for Kaji… well, that was how this whole mess had started. The man was almost certainly dead, his demons caught up to him at last.
Unfortunately, he was also probably the only person who could've easily figured out where she'd gone. For all he'd tried to bridge the divide, Asuka had never really let Shinji get a handle on her way of thinking. Right when he thought he was starting to understand her, she'd throw another curveball to keep him on his toes. Sometimes literally. Just the memory of that PE class made him wince.
He sighed and put aside the tape player, rolling over to try and fall asleep. Hopefully she'd be back by morning.
She was not back by morning.
The line connected.
"Misato?" He asked.
"What do you need Shinji? I'm really kinda busy here."
"I'm sorry… I– It's just that Asuka still hasn't come back."
"Shinji, I told you, Section 2's on it. Don't worry about it. Asuka's a big girl, she can take care of herself." Shinji wasn't sure if he was imagining it, or if there really was a hint of doubt in her voice.
Whether it was there or not, it vanished as she took on a conspiratorial tone: "I know the last few days have been hard on you. Now, there's an awful lot of breakfast beers in the fridge. If one of them were to vanish… well… I'm sure it wouldn't be noticed." He could almost see her winking at him.
"Mi– Misato! How can you suggest that at a time like this?"
"I'm a responsible adult; I wasn't suggesting anything." He heard her sigh as the masquerade fell through. "You should just try and get your mind off things, that's all. She can't stay gone forever. Now I really do need to get back to all this paperwork. Catch you later."
The call ended with a beep.
He put the phone down and wondered what to do. He wanted to go look for Asuka, but he had no idea where to even start. Tokyo-3 was a big city, and he had no clue where she might've run off to.
He got out his trusty SDAT to tune out his problems.
I must not run away. The thought hit him like a ton of bricks. He had to do something. She'd been gone six days. Section 2 had found him after two.
"I must not run away." Aloud this time, a mantra of determination rather than of strife. He'd canvas the whole damn city if he had to. He refused to lose another friend, especially when it was in his hands rather than those of the dummy plug.
He left the house, leaving Misato a note, though he doubted she'd be home to read it. A twinge of anger bit at him. What job was there for the operations director that was more important than finding a missing pilot? He quickly shoved it aside and focused on the task at hand.
The day dragged on. Shinji moved from one abandoned apartment block to the next.
He figured Asuka wouldn't want to be around people, and anyway, if she was Section 2 probably would've found her already. Unfortunately, that didn't really narrow things down much. So much of the city had been abandoned due the devastation of the angels, and without any sort of hints he had no choice but to check everywhere he could.
He sat down and pulled out a water bottle. The heat of Japan's eternal summer wasn't particularly amicable to this sort of search on foot. At the very least his bag had successfully kept the water somewhat cool. He drank several gulps, before wetting the back of his neck a bit to cool himself off.
This was getting nowhere. Just in the vicinity there were enough abandoned apartments to house several thousand people, and for all he knew Asuka could've easily taken the train elsewhere.
He sighed and looked down at the water bottle in his hands. His face twisted into an expression of worry. He'd been so busy wondering where she was that he hadn't even considered whether she had the bare essentials for survival. He hoped she'd stopped by a convenience store or something, there hadn't been any missing from the apartment.
He got up and kept going. Not much that can be done about that now.
"Asuka!" he yelled. "Asuka! Where are you?" The fact that he might not find her crossed his mind again, but he pushed it aside.
"Asuka!" He looked around for good measure, though he knew he wouldn't see anything. One ruin was the same as any other, and he wasn't exactly trained in noticing signs of human habitation.
"Damn it," he muttered. He slammed his fist into the door at his side.
It creaked open. His eyes widened. He looked at the latch. It was clearly broken, seemingly forced open. He hadn't hit it hard enough to cause that.
He pushed the door open and walked in. The place was a mess. The interior walls had crumbled, leaving mere lines of rubble to mark where the rooms used to be. Boxes of food lay scattered across the kitchen floor, tossed from the cupboards by the destruction. The flooring tiles of the bathroom were shattered, and the ceiling and exterior wall had fallen in.
And in the bathtub lay Asuka.
A voice.
…
Arms cradling her.
"Ka… ji…?" The word slipped through her lips, barely a whisper.
No… they were too thin and scrawny.
…
Bouncing up and down.
Heavy breathing.
A sprint?
…
Darkness.
She looked so… broken. Like a forgotten doll after a couple years of neglect.
The nurses had taken her out of his arms and put her on a gurney.
"Severe heat exhaustion with early symptoms of starvation," the doctors had said. "In need of immediate intravenous rehydration."
They'd wanted to interrogate him due to the circumstances. Threatened to call the police.
A flash of his NERV ID had handled that. I suppose there are some perks to being a pilot after all.
He'd called Misato. She'd sounded relieved, but was too busy to come in. She asked him to call her if the hospital ended up wanting to keep Asuka as an inpatient, so they could have her transferred to the NERV hospital instead.
Which left him here, sitting next to her, waiting and hoping she'd wake up soon. The doctors did say that she should be fine, that there was nothing that would've caused lasting damage, but it was hard to believe it looking at her as she was now.
It was scary to see her reduced to this. This was the girl who'd once been ready to take on anything the world could throw at her. The self-proclaimed greatest Eva pilot in the world (that there were only three of them notwithstanding). Now she lay there in a hospital robe with an IV in her arm, tied up to enough measuring devices to make Dr. Akagi blush.
He leaned back in the chair, listening to the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor. Part of him wished that he'd taken his tape player with him, to pass the time while he waited. Yet on the other hand that thing had only ever made his problems worse. Either way, he didn't have it, so there was no point musing about it.
Shinji yawned. Hiking all over the city had been exhausting, and carrying her at full sprint had almost landed him in a hospital bed himself.
He tried to keep himself awake, but as time passed all his efforts were to no avail, and he dozed off still sitting there.
Beep…
Beep…
Beep…
The sound that woke her was all too familiar to any Eva pilot. She tried to sit up but her muscles refused to budge.
Guess I'm still useless as ever. Can't even disappear properly without being found.
As she sighed, a second person's breathing became apparent. She glanced in its direction. Asleep in a chair was Shinji.
Verdammt! Of course he had to be the one to save me. The Invincible Shinji. Don't you realize I don't want your help?
The boy stirred, as if woken by the thought.
"Huh...? Asuka? You're awake!"
"Of course I am, you nitwit. I could hardly sleep through your damn snoring." He looked somewhat hurt at the insult. "Now where are my clothes. I want to get home."
"Uh–" he hesitated. "I couldn't carry them. I'm sorry."
"Idiot. What am I supposed to wear now?" There was a moment of silence before he offered up a response.
"I'm sure Misato would bring you a change of clothes from home, or the hospital might have something to last you to the apartment."
If they even let me go. How much did he tell them? Hopefully not too much, given he hasn't raised the issue. But then again, it'd be hard to explain carrying me in… naked…
"You lech!" Shinji flinched at the fresh tirade. "Pervert! Did you carry me here just to cop a feel? I bet you did."
"... I'm not the one who stripped in a ruined apartment bathroom!" Asuka flushed, shocked at the retort.
Since when does he have a spine? He's supposed to just apologize like he always does.
"You almost died Asuka. The doctors said you were going into shock. Half an hour more and you would've been in a coma, or worse!" His voice cracked at the last word, eyes tearing up.
"What do you care? You're the best pilot now anyway. The Invincible Shinji Ikari. Der Übermensch. What do you need me for anyway?" There was only silence. "That's what I thought. Now, if you're so magnanimous as to help your inferior, get me home."
She forced her unwilling muscles to stand up from the bed. She managed five excruciating seconds before toppling forward.
And once more, the idiot's arms caught her. What does it take to get through his thick skull?
Shinji helped Asuka up the stairs to the apartment. Misato had managed to take the time to sign her out of the hospital and drive them to the apartment, but she had to get right back to whatever it is she was doing. The former bit had been over the doctors' objections to some extent, but they had said that she'd be fine with food, water, and rest, and she could get those just fine at the apartment. On the other hand, getting her out of the hospital environment and to something resembling normalcy had seemed like a good idea to Shinji, especially when she'd requested it, and Misato had agreed.
Which, of course, led to the current situation, with her arm over his shoulders, and the two of them slowly making their way up the stairs.
I swear, it's the 21st century, we can make an entire city which retracts into the ground but God forbid our apartment complex having an elevator.
"Shinji?" Asuka broke the silence of the climb.
"Huh?"
"Why'd you come look for me?"
"What? I– I'm not sure what you mean by that?"
"Why did you come look for me?" Her voice dripped with annoyance at his non-answer. At least that hadn't changed.
"What sort of question is that? You ran off and vanished! What else would I do?"
"Misato didn't," she pointed out.
"Misato's busy at NERV; you can't hold that against her," though he wasn't really sure of his own words.
"You're still dodging the question." They reached the top of the stairs and started making their way towards the apartment door.
"You brought her up."
"Dodging the question. Again." It was surprising just how much venom she could inject into a single word with annoyance. Frankly, Shinji wasn't certain that words couldn't kill as far as Asuka was involved.
"It was the right thing to do. I couldn't run away again when you needed me." He felt the weight on his shoulders increase as she drooped.
"That's all, huh?" The words were barely audible even with her head right next to his ear. He wasn't sure how to respond, instead pressing the button to open the door. They made their way inside. He sat her down on the couch.
"I'll make us some dinner. What do you want?" She didn't respond. "I'll make dashimaki, if you don't mind it." She remained silent, staring off into the distance. He headed for the kitchen.
"Please don't leave me." Shinji froze in place. The words came out in the most un-Asuka-like whimper. He turned to look at her.
"I'm just going to make dinner. I'll be right back."
"Please." Her eyes glistened. Somehow she looked even more helpless than she had in the tub.
He sighed and sat down next to her. Dinner would have to wait. "Why don't you hate me?"
"Huh? Asuka?"
"All the things I've done to you… everything to drive you away… yet you still came looking for me. It doesn't make sense." She finally broke into tears. "What does it take to make you give up on me?!" She slammed her fists against his chest and shoulder, or at least tried, her strength being what it was.
"Asuka… I– I care about you… I could never give up on you." The platitude did little to change her demeanor.
"Everyone does. It's just a matter of when."
"What…? Asuka, what do you mean?" The painless blows stopped a moment as she looked at him, as if using the last vestiges of her willpower to judge how much to tell him. Finally, she gave up even that.
"Mama… Papa… Kaji… Everyone leaves." Shinji stiffened. Thoughts of his own father crossed his mind.
I must not run away. He grabbed her shoulders.
"Asuka. I will never, ever abandon you." With that he pulled her into a hug. She stiffened a bit, before relaxing and adjusting slightly into a more comfortable embrace.
After a while, the sobs died down. He glanced down and saw that she'd fallen asleep. For the first time in a while, Shinji Ikari smiled, and he let himself drift off to sleep.
AN: I hope that isn't too sickly sweet. The idea came to me and I pounded it out and revised it as much as I could to try and get them in character, but I think my inexperience as an author shows.
Edit: Fixed thought italicization. No clue how that happened, hopefully the issue doesn't repeat itself, and if it does, hopefully I'll notice it before posting next time.
Edit the Second: Uploaded revision with substantial additions for pacing purposes.
She stared up at the sun. After a few hours in the post-Second Impact heat, her face was already baked to a bright red painful sunburn. Soon, dehydration would give way to heat stroke, delirium, and, eventually, death.
"Synch rate zero... Not qualified to be the second child. My reason for existence is gone now." She blinked at the sun painfully, her eyelids dry and cracked. "Nobody will look at me now. Not papa, not mama, not anyone. There's no reason for me to live anymore." She stared at it. The dots in her vision almost looked like vultures, waiting for their prey to die. She relaxed her neck completely, letting it hang back over the edge of the tub.
"Asuka!" The voice, though clearly yelled, was made faint from distance and from passing through multiple walls. "Asuka! Where are you?" Nevertheless, she recognized it.
"Shinji?" she croaked out. Of all people to come looking for her, it was that docile idiot? She supposed she'd have to take it. She wasn't the great pilot of Unit-02 anymore. No one else would come looking for her. She wasn't valuable cargo anymore.
She tried calling out but her voice betrayed her, battered by heat exhaustion and dehydration. "Shinji… I'm here…" The words were barely a whisper. Typical. Betrayed in the end by my own body.
"Asuka!" The voice called out, this time from the other side of the apartment, apparently having passed it. Soon he'd be off into the distance and leave her to death.
She closed her eyes and let the blackness take her.
~ ❁ ~
Shinji lay in bed, listening to his SDAT. For all he tried, it wasn't enough to block out the worry. Asuka still hadn't come back. Misato said Section 2 was on it, but frankly, NERV's intelligence division hadn't really inspired his confidence. When he'd run away he'd easily ditched their detail, and clearly Asuka had too.
Misato was still dealing with the fallout from Armisael, so she couldn't take a more active role in finding the girl. As for Kaji… well, that was how this whole mess had started. The man was almost certainly dead, his demons caught up to him at last.
Unfortunately, he was also probably the only person who could've easily figured out where she'd gone. For all he'd tried to bridge the divide, Asuka had never really let Shinji get a handle on her way of thinking. Right when he thought he was starting to understand her, she'd throw another curveball to keep him on his toes. Sometimes literally. Just the memory of that PE class made him wince.
He sighed and put aside the tape player, rolling over to try and fall asleep. Hopefully she'd be back by morning.
She was not back by morning.
The line connected.
"Misato?" He asked.
"What do you need Shinji? I'm really kinda busy here."
"I'm sorry… I– It's just that Asuka still hasn't come back."
"Shinji, I told you, Section 2's on it. Don't worry about it. Asuka's a big girl, she can take care of herself." Shinji wasn't sure if he was imagining it, or if there really was a hint of doubt in her voice.
Whether it was there or not, it vanished as she took on a conspiratorial tone: "I know the last few days have been hard on you. Now, there's an awful lot of breakfast beers in the fridge. If one of them were to vanish… well… I'm sure it wouldn't be noticed." He could almost see her winking at him.
"Mi– Misato! How can you suggest that at a time like this?"
"I'm a responsible adult; I wasn't suggesting anything." He heard her sigh as the masquerade fell through. "You should just try and get your mind off things, that's all. She can't stay gone forever. Now I really do need to get back to all this paperwork. Catch you later."
The call ended with a beep.
He put the phone down and wondered what to do. He wanted to go look for Asuka, but he had no idea where to even start. Tokyo-3 was a big city, and he had no clue where she might've run off to.
He got out his trusty SDAT to tune out his problems.
I must not run away. The thought hit him like a ton of bricks. He had to do something. She'd been gone six days. Section 2 had found him after two.
"I must not run away." Aloud this time, a mantra of determination rather than of strife. He'd canvas the whole damn city if he had to. He refused to lose another friend, especially when it was in his hands rather than those of the dummy plug.
He left the house, leaving Misato a note, though he doubted she'd be home to read it. A twinge of anger bit at him. What job was there for the operations director that was more important than finding a missing pilot? He quickly shoved it aside and focused on the task at hand.
The day dragged on. Shinji moved from one abandoned apartment block to the next.
He figured Asuka wouldn't want to be around people, and anyway, if she was Section 2 probably would've found her already. Unfortunately, that didn't really narrow things down much. So much of the city had been abandoned due the devastation of the angels, and without any sort of hints he had no choice but to check everywhere he could.
He sat down and pulled out a water bottle. The heat of Japan's eternal summer wasn't particularly amicable to this sort of search on foot. At the very least his bag had successfully kept the water somewhat cool. He drank several gulps, before wetting the back of his neck a bit to cool himself off.
This was getting nowhere. Just in the vicinity there were enough abandoned apartments to house several thousand people, and for all he knew Asuka could've easily taken the train elsewhere.
He sighed and looked down at the water bottle in his hands. His face twisted into an expression of worry. He'd been so busy wondering where she was that he hadn't even considered whether she had the bare essentials for survival. He hoped she'd stopped by a convenience store or something, there hadn't been any missing from the apartment.
He got up and kept going. Not much that can be done about that now.
"Asuka!" he yelled. "Asuka! Where are you?" The fact that he might not find her crossed his mind again, but he pushed it aside.
"Asuka!" He looked around for good measure, though he knew he wouldn't see anything. One ruin was the same as any other, and he wasn't exactly trained in noticing signs of human habitation.
"Damn it," he muttered. He slammed his fist into the door at his side.
It creaked open. His eyes widened. He looked at the latch. It was clearly broken, seemingly forced open. He hadn't hit it hard enough to cause that.
He pushed the door open and walked in. The place was a mess. The interior walls had crumbled, leaving mere lines of rubble to mark where the rooms used to be. Boxes of food lay scattered across the kitchen floor, tossed from the cupboards by the destruction. The flooring tiles of the bathroom were shattered, and the ceiling and exterior wall had fallen in.
And in the bathtub lay Asuka.
~ ❁ ~
A voice.
…
Arms cradling her.
"Ka… ji…?" The word slipped through her lips, barely a whisper.
No… they were too thin and scrawny.
…
Bouncing up and down.
Heavy breathing.
A sprint?
…
Darkness.
~ ❁ ~
She looked so… broken. Like a forgotten doll after a couple years of neglect.
The nurses had taken her out of his arms and put her on a gurney.
"Severe heat exhaustion with early symptoms of starvation," the doctors had said. "In need of immediate intravenous rehydration."
They'd wanted to interrogate him due to the circumstances. Threatened to call the police.
A flash of his NERV ID had handled that. I suppose there are some perks to being a pilot after all.
He'd called Misato. She'd sounded relieved, but was too busy to come in. She asked him to call her if the hospital ended up wanting to keep Asuka as an inpatient, so they could have her transferred to the NERV hospital instead.
Which left him here, sitting next to her, waiting and hoping she'd wake up soon. The doctors did say that she should be fine, that there was nothing that would've caused lasting damage, but it was hard to believe it looking at her as she was now.
It was scary to see her reduced to this. This was the girl who'd once been ready to take on anything the world could throw at her. The self-proclaimed greatest Eva pilot in the world (that there were only three of them notwithstanding). Now she lay there in a hospital robe with an IV in her arm, tied up to enough measuring devices to make Dr. Akagi blush.
He leaned back in the chair, listening to the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor. Part of him wished that he'd taken his tape player with him, to pass the time while he waited. Yet on the other hand that thing had only ever made his problems worse. Either way, he didn't have it, so there was no point musing about it.
Shinji yawned. Hiking all over the city had been exhausting, and carrying her at full sprint had almost landed him in a hospital bed himself.
He tried to keep himself awake, but as time passed all his efforts were to no avail, and he dozed off still sitting there.
~ ❁ ~
Beep…
Beep…
Beep…
The sound that woke her was all too familiar to any Eva pilot. She tried to sit up but her muscles refused to budge.
Guess I'm still useless as ever. Can't even disappear properly without being found.
As she sighed, a second person's breathing became apparent. She glanced in its direction. Asleep in a chair was Shinji.
Verdammt! Of course he had to be the one to save me. The Invincible Shinji. Don't you realize I don't want your help?
The boy stirred, as if woken by the thought.
"Huh...? Asuka? You're awake!"
"Of course I am, you nitwit. I could hardly sleep through your damn snoring." He looked somewhat hurt at the insult. "Now where are my clothes. I want to get home."
"Uh–" he hesitated. "I couldn't carry them. I'm sorry."
"Idiot. What am I supposed to wear now?" There was a moment of silence before he offered up a response.
"I'm sure Misato would bring you a change of clothes from home, or the hospital might have something to last you to the apartment."
If they even let me go. How much did he tell them? Hopefully not too much, given he hasn't raised the issue. But then again, it'd be hard to explain carrying me in… naked…
"You lech!" Shinji flinched at the fresh tirade. "Pervert! Did you carry me here just to cop a feel? I bet you did."
"... I'm not the one who stripped in a ruined apartment bathroom!" Asuka flushed, shocked at the retort.
Since when does he have a spine? He's supposed to just apologize like he always does.
"You almost died Asuka. The doctors said you were going into shock. Half an hour more and you would've been in a coma, or worse!" His voice cracked at the last word, eyes tearing up.
"What do you care? You're the best pilot now anyway. The Invincible Shinji Ikari. Der Übermensch. What do you need me for anyway?" There was only silence. "That's what I thought. Now, if you're so magnanimous as to help your inferior, get me home."
She forced her unwilling muscles to stand up from the bed. She managed five excruciating seconds before toppling forward.
And once more, the idiot's arms caught her. What does it take to get through his thick skull?
~ ❁ ~
Shinji helped Asuka up the stairs to the apartment. Misato had managed to take the time to sign her out of the hospital and drive them to the apartment, but she had to get right back to whatever it is she was doing. The former bit had been over the doctors' objections to some extent, but they had said that she'd be fine with food, water, and rest, and she could get those just fine at the apartment. On the other hand, getting her out of the hospital environment and to something resembling normalcy had seemed like a good idea to Shinji, especially when she'd requested it, and Misato had agreed.
Which, of course, led to the current situation, with her arm over his shoulders, and the two of them slowly making their way up the stairs.
I swear, it's the 21st century, we can make an entire city which retracts into the ground but God forbid our apartment complex having an elevator.
"Shinji?" Asuka broke the silence of the climb.
"Huh?"
"Why'd you come look for me?"
"What? I– I'm not sure what you mean by that?"
"Why did you come look for me?" Her voice dripped with annoyance at his non-answer. At least that hadn't changed.
"What sort of question is that? You ran off and vanished! What else would I do?"
"Misato didn't," she pointed out.
"Misato's busy at NERV; you can't hold that against her," though he wasn't really sure of his own words.
"You're still dodging the question." They reached the top of the stairs and started making their way towards the apartment door.
"You brought her up."
"Dodging the question. Again." It was surprising just how much venom she could inject into a single word with annoyance. Frankly, Shinji wasn't certain that words couldn't kill as far as Asuka was involved.
"It was the right thing to do. I couldn't run away again when you needed me." He felt the weight on his shoulders increase as she drooped.
"That's all, huh?" The words were barely audible even with her head right next to his ear. He wasn't sure how to respond, instead pressing the button to open the door. They made their way inside. He sat her down on the couch.
"I'll make us some dinner. What do you want?" She didn't respond. "I'll make dashimaki, if you don't mind it." She remained silent, staring off into the distance. He headed for the kitchen.
"Please don't leave me." Shinji froze in place. The words came out in the most un-Asuka-like whimper. He turned to look at her.
"I'm just going to make dinner. I'll be right back."
"Please." Her eyes glistened. Somehow she looked even more helpless than she had in the tub.
He sighed and sat down next to her. Dinner would have to wait. "Why don't you hate me?"
"Huh? Asuka?"
"All the things I've done to you… everything to drive you away… yet you still came looking for me. It doesn't make sense." She finally broke into tears. "What does it take to make you give up on me?!" She slammed her fists against his chest and shoulder, or at least tried, her strength being what it was.
"Asuka… I– I care about you… I could never give up on you." The platitude did little to change her demeanor.
"Everyone does. It's just a matter of when."
"What…? Asuka, what do you mean?" The painless blows stopped a moment as she looked at him, as if using the last vestiges of her willpower to judge how much to tell him. Finally, she gave up even that.
"Mama… Papa… Kaji… Everyone leaves." Shinji stiffened. Thoughts of his own father crossed his mind.
I must not run away. He grabbed her shoulders.
"Asuka. I will never, ever abandon you." With that he pulled her into a hug. She stiffened a bit, before relaxing and adjusting slightly into a more comfortable embrace.
After a while, the sobs died down. He glanced down and saw that she'd fallen asleep. For the first time in a while, Shinji Ikari smiled, and he let himself drift off to sleep.
She stared up at the sun. After a few hours in the post-Second Impact heat, her face was already baked to a bright red painful sunburn. Soon, dehydration would give way to heat stroke, delirium, and, eventually, death.
"Synch rate zero... Not qualified to be the second child. My reason for existence is gone now." She blinked at the sun painfully, her eyelids dry and cracked. "Nobody will look at me now. Not papa, not mama, not anyone. There's no reason for me to live anymore." She stared at it. The dots in her vision almost looked like vultures, waiting for their prey to die. She relaxed her neck completely, letting it hang back over the edge of the tub.
"Asuka!" The voice, though clearly yelled, was made faint from distance and from passing through multiple walls. "Asuka! Where are you?" Nevertheless, she recognized it.
"Shinji?" she croaked out. Of all people to come looking for her, it was that docile idiot? She supposed she'd have to take it. She wasn't the great pilot of Unit-02 anymore. No one else would come looking for her. She wasn't valuable cargo anymore.
She tried calling out but her voice betrayed her, battered by heat exhaustion and dehydration. "Shinji… I'm here…" The words were barely a whisper. Typical. Betrayed in the end by my own body.
"Asuka!" The voice called out, this time from the other side of the apartment, apparently having passed it. Soon he'd be off into the distance and leave her to death.
She closed her eyes and waited, giving up the last of the strength which kept her conscious.
A pair of arms cradled her and lifted her from the tub.
"Kaji?" she muttered. But the arms were far too scrawny for the UN Special Inspector.
She closed her eyes and let the blackness take her.
Shinji walked through the abandoned apartment block. At the start he'd tried checking every door, but so many had been locked, and even when they weren't, it took far too long. He relegated himself to calling out and hoping for a response.
"Asuka!" he yelled. "Asuka! Where are you?" He'd been searching for hours. He was starting to accept the fact that he might not find her at all.
"Asuka!" He looked around for good measure, though he knew he wouldn't see anything. "Damn it," he muttered. He slammed his fist into the door at his side.
It creaked open. His eyes widened. He looked at the latch. It was clearly broken, seemingly forced open. He hadn't hit it that hard.
He pushed the door open and walked in. The place was a mess. The interior walls had crumbled, leaving mere lines of rubble to mark where the rooms used to be. Boxes of food lay scattered across the kitchen floor, tossed from the cupboards by the destruction. The flooring tiles of the bathroom were shattered, and the ceiling and exterior wall had fallen in.
And in the bathtub lay Asuka.
Beep.
...
Beep.
...
Beep.
Asuka woke to the all too familiar sound of a heart monitor. She tried to sit up but her muscles refused to budge.
Guess I'm still useless as ever. Can't even disappear properly without being found.
As she sighed, a second person's breathing became apparent. She glanced in its direction. Asleep in a chair was Shinji.
Verdammt! Of course he had to be the one to save me. The Invincible Shinji. Don't you realize I don't want your help?
The boy stirred, as if woken by the thought.
"Huh...? Asuka? You're awake!"
"Of course I am, you nitwit. I could hardly sleep through your damn snoring." He looked somewhat hurt at the insult. "Now where are my clothes. I want to get home."
"Uh–" he hesitated. "I couldn't carry them. I'm sorry."
"Idiot. What am I supposed to wear now?" There was a moment of silence before he offered up a response.
"I'm sure Misato would bring you a change of clothes from home, or the hospital might have something to last you to the apartment."
If they even let me go. How much did he tell them? Hopefully not too much, given he hasn't raised the issue. But then again, it'd be hard to explain carrying me in… naked…
"You lech!" Shinji flinched at the fresh tirade. "Pervert! Did you carry me here just to cop a feel? I bet you did."
"... I'm not the one who stripped in a ruined apartment bathroom!" Asuka flushed, shocked at the retort.
Since when does he have a spine?
"You almost died Asuka. The doctors said you were going into shock. Half an hour more and you would've been in a coma, or worse!" His voice cracked at the last word, eyes tearing up.
"What do you care? You're the best pilot now anyway. The Invincible Shinji Ikari. Der Übermensch. What do you need me for anyway?" There was only silence. "That's what I thought. Now, if you're so magnanimous as to help your inferior, get me home."
She forced her unwilling muscles to stand up from the bed. She managed five excruciating seconds before toppling forward.
And once more, the idiot's arms caught her. What does it take to get through his thick skull?
Shinji helped Asuka up the stairs to the apartment. Misato had managed to take the time to sign her out of the hospital and drive them to the apartment, but she had to get right back to dealing with Armisael's fallout. The former bit had been over the doctors' objections to some extent, but they had said that she'd be fine with food, water, and rest, and she could get those just fine at the apartment. On the other hand, getting her out of the hospital environment and to something resembling normalcy had seemed like a good idea to Shinji, especially when she'd requested it, and Misato had agreed.
Which, of course, led to the current situation, with her arm over his shoulders, and the two of them slowly making their way up the stairs.
I swear, it's the 21st century, we can make an entire city which retracts into the ground but God forbid our apartment complex having an elevator.
"Shinji?" Asuka broke the silence of the climb.
"Huh?"
"Why'd you come look for me?"
"What? I– I'm not sure what you mean by that?"
"Why did you come look for me?" Her voice dripped with annoyance at his non-answer. At least that hadn't changed.
"What sort of question is that? You ran off and vanished! What else would I do?"
"Misato didn't," she pointed out.
"Misato's busy at NERV; you can't hold that against her," though he wasn't really sure of his own words.
"You're still dodging the question." They reached the top of the stairs and started making their way towards the apartment door.
"You brought her up."
"Dodging the question. Again." It was surprising just how much venom she could inject into a single word with annoyance. Frankly, Shinji wasn't certain that words couldn't kill as far as Asuka was involved.
"It was the right thing to do. I couldn't run away again when you needed me." He felt the weight on his shoulders increase as she drooped.
"That's all, huh?" The words were barely audible even with her head right next to his ear. He wasn't sure how to respond, instead pressing the button to open the door. They made their way inside. He sat her down on the couch.
"I'll make us some dinner. What do you want?" She didn't respond. "I'll make dashimaki, if you don't mind it." She remained silent, staring off into the distance. He headed for the kitchen.
"Please don't leave me." Shinji froze in place. The words came out in the most un-Asuka-like whimper. He turned to look at her.
"I'm just going to make dinner. I'll be right back."
"Please." Her eyes glistened. Somehow she looked even more helpless than she had in the tub.
He sighed and sat down next to her. Dinner would have to wait. "Why don't you hate me?"
"Huh? Asuka?"
"All the things I've done to you… everything to drive you away… yet you still came looking for me. It doesn't make sense." She finally broke into tears. "What does it take to make you give up on me?!" She slammed her fists against his chest and shoulder, or at least tried, her strength being what it was.
"Asuka… I– I care about you… I could never give up on you." The platitude did little to change her demeanor.
"Everyone does. It's just a matter of when."
"What…? Asuka, what do you mean?" The painless blows stopped a moment as she looked at him, as if using the last vestiges of her willpower to judge how much to tell him. Finally, she gave up even that.
"Mama… Papa… Kaji… Everyone leaves." Shinji stiffened. Thoughts of his own father crossed his mind.
I must not run away. He grabbed her shoulders.
"Asuka. I will never, ever abandon you." With that he pulled her into a hug. She stiffened a bit, before relaxing and adjusting slightly into a more comfortable embrace.
After a while, the sobs died down. He glanced down and saw that she'd fallen asleep. For the first time in a while, Shinji Ikari smiled, and he let himself drift off to sleep.
"Synch rate zero... Not qualified to be the second child. My reason for existence is gone now." She blinked at the sun painfully, her eyelids dry and cracked. "Nobody will look at me now. Not papa, not mama, not anyone. There's no reason for me to live anymore." She stared at it. The dots in her vision almost looked like vultures, waiting for their prey to die. She relaxed her neck completely, letting it hang back over the edge of the tub.
"Asuka!" The voice, though clearly yelled, was made faint from distance and from passing through multiple walls. "Asuka! Where are you?" Nevertheless, she recognized it.
"Shinji?" she croaked out. Of all people to come looking for her, it was that docile idiot? She supposed she'd have to take it. She wasn't the great pilot of Unit-02 anymore. No one else would come looking for her. She wasn't valuable cargo anymore.
She tried calling out but her voice betrayed her, battered by heat exhaustion and dehydration. "Shinji… I'm here…" The words were barely a whisper. Typical. Betrayed in the end by my own body.
"Asuka!" The voice called out, this time from the other side of the apartment, apparently having passed it. Soon he'd be off into the distance and leave her to death.
She closed her eyes and waited, giving up the last of the strength which kept her conscious.
A pair of arms cradled her and lifted her from the tub.
"Kaji?" she muttered. But the arms were far too scrawny for the UN Special Inspector.
She closed her eyes and let the blackness take her.
~ ❁ ~
Shinji walked through the abandoned apartment block. At the start he'd tried checking every door, but so many had been locked, and even when they weren't, it took far too long. He relegated himself to calling out and hoping for a response.
"Asuka!" he yelled. "Asuka! Where are you?" He'd been searching for hours. He was starting to accept the fact that he might not find her at all.
"Asuka!" He looked around for good measure, though he knew he wouldn't see anything. "Damn it," he muttered. He slammed his fist into the door at his side.
It creaked open. His eyes widened. He looked at the latch. It was clearly broken, seemingly forced open. He hadn't hit it that hard.
He pushed the door open and walked in. The place was a mess. The interior walls had crumbled, leaving mere lines of rubble to mark where the rooms used to be. Boxes of food lay scattered across the kitchen floor, tossed from the cupboards by the destruction. The flooring tiles of the bathroom were shattered, and the ceiling and exterior wall had fallen in.
And in the bathtub lay Asuka.
~ ❁ ~
Beep.
...
Beep.
...
Beep.
Asuka woke to the all too familiar sound of a heart monitor. She tried to sit up but her muscles refused to budge.
Guess I'm still useless as ever. Can't even disappear properly without being found.
As she sighed, a second person's breathing became apparent. She glanced in its direction. Asleep in a chair was Shinji.
Verdammt! Of course he had to be the one to save me. The Invincible Shinji. Don't you realize I don't want your help?
The boy stirred, as if woken by the thought.
"Huh...? Asuka? You're awake!"
"Of course I am, you nitwit. I could hardly sleep through your damn snoring." He looked somewhat hurt at the insult. "Now where are my clothes. I want to get home."
"Uh–" he hesitated. "I couldn't carry them. I'm sorry."
"Idiot. What am I supposed to wear now?" There was a moment of silence before he offered up a response.
"I'm sure Misato would bring you a change of clothes from home, or the hospital might have something to last you to the apartment."
If they even let me go. How much did he tell them? Hopefully not too much, given he hasn't raised the issue. But then again, it'd be hard to explain carrying me in… naked…
"You lech!" Shinji flinched at the fresh tirade. "Pervert! Did you carry me here just to cop a feel? I bet you did."
"... I'm not the one who stripped in a ruined apartment bathroom!" Asuka flushed, shocked at the retort.
Since when does he have a spine?
"You almost died Asuka. The doctors said you were going into shock. Half an hour more and you would've been in a coma, or worse!" His voice cracked at the last word, eyes tearing up.
"What do you care? You're the best pilot now anyway. The Invincible Shinji Ikari. Der Übermensch. What do you need me for anyway?" There was only silence. "That's what I thought. Now, if you're so magnanimous as to help your inferior, get me home."
She forced her unwilling muscles to stand up from the bed. She managed five excruciating seconds before toppling forward.
And once more, the idiot's arms caught her. What does it take to get through his thick skull?
~ ❁ ~
Shinji helped Asuka up the stairs to the apartment. Misato had managed to take the time to sign her out of the hospital and drive them to the apartment, but she had to get right back to dealing with Armisael's fallout. The former bit had been over the doctors' objections to some extent, but they had said that she'd be fine with food, water, and rest, and she could get those just fine at the apartment. On the other hand, getting her out of the hospital environment and to something resembling normalcy had seemed like a good idea to Shinji, especially when she'd requested it, and Misato had agreed.
Which, of course, led to the current situation, with her arm over his shoulders, and the two of them slowly making their way up the stairs.
I swear, it's the 21st century, we can make an entire city which retracts into the ground but God forbid our apartment complex having an elevator.
"Shinji?" Asuka broke the silence of the climb.
"Huh?"
"Why'd you come look for me?"
"What? I– I'm not sure what you mean by that?"
"Why did you come look for me?" Her voice dripped with annoyance at his non-answer. At least that hadn't changed.
"What sort of question is that? You ran off and vanished! What else would I do?"
"Misato didn't," she pointed out.
"Misato's busy at NERV; you can't hold that against her," though he wasn't really sure of his own words.
"You're still dodging the question." They reached the top of the stairs and started making their way towards the apartment door.
"You brought her up."
"Dodging the question. Again." It was surprising just how much venom she could inject into a single word with annoyance. Frankly, Shinji wasn't certain that words couldn't kill as far as Asuka was involved.
"It was the right thing to do. I couldn't run away again when you needed me." He felt the weight on his shoulders increase as she drooped.
"That's all, huh?" The words were barely audible even with her head right next to his ear. He wasn't sure how to respond, instead pressing the button to open the door. They made their way inside. He sat her down on the couch.
"I'll make us some dinner. What do you want?" She didn't respond. "I'll make dashimaki, if you don't mind it." She remained silent, staring off into the distance. He headed for the kitchen.
"Please don't leave me." Shinji froze in place. The words came out in the most un-Asuka-like whimper. He turned to look at her.
"I'm just going to make dinner. I'll be right back."
"Please." Her eyes glistened. Somehow she looked even more helpless than she had in the tub.
He sighed and sat down next to her. Dinner would have to wait. "Why don't you hate me?"
"Huh? Asuka?"
"All the things I've done to you… everything to drive you away… yet you still came looking for me. It doesn't make sense." She finally broke into tears. "What does it take to make you give up on me?!" She slammed her fists against his chest and shoulder, or at least tried, her strength being what it was.
"Asuka… I– I care about you… I could never give up on you." The platitude did little to change her demeanor.
"Everyone does. It's just a matter of when."
"What…? Asuka, what do you mean?" The painless blows stopped a moment as she looked at him, as if using the last vestiges of her willpower to judge how much to tell him. Finally, she gave up even that.
"Mama… Papa… Kaji… Everyone leaves." Shinji stiffened. Thoughts of his own father crossed his mind.
I must not run away. He grabbed her shoulders.
"Asuka. I will never, ever abandon you." With that he pulled her into a hug. She stiffened a bit, before relaxing and adjusting slightly into a more comfortable embrace.
After a while, the sobs died down. He glanced down and saw that she'd fallen asleep. For the first time in a while, Shinji Ikari smiled, and he let himself drift off to sleep.
AN: I hope that isn't too sickly sweet. The idea came to me and I pounded it out and revised it as much as I could to try and get them in character, but I think my inexperience as an author shows.
Edit: Fixed thought italicization. No clue how that happened, hopefully the issue doesn't repeat itself, and if it does, hopefully I'll notice it before posting next time.
Edit the Second: Uploaded revision with substantial additions for pacing purposes.
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Joshua's Trumpet
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Joshua's Trumpet
"Where's Misato?" As usual, Asuka leveled the question almost as if it was an accusation. Shinji glanced at her from behind his magazine. She was in the middle of toweling dry her fiery red hair. He shifted his attention back to his magazine, turning the page.
"Working. She called and said she'd be out all night."
"So we're all alone for the night then!" Her attitude took a cheery turn. Shinji stared at her, trying to figure out what had brought on the sudden change.
"Yeah, that's basically what I said." Her mood suddenly soured, confusing him even more. She picked up her futon and carried them to Misato's bedroom, before dropping them unceremoniously on the floor. She closed the sliding door, and Shinji could swear he heard a sigh.
He didn't have much time to think about it before she swiped the door open again. "This door is the impenetrable Wall of Jericho, understand?"
Shinji just stared at her bewildered.
"What?"
"You heard me. Impenetrable." She enunciated the word as if speaking to a child. She quickly made the condescension more explicit: "Now, isn't it a bit late for children to be up?" The door slammed shut, leaving Shinji to try and puzzle out what the girl was thinking.
"Wall of Jericho?" He muttered to himself, but quickly dismissed it. Sometimes there was no point in even trying to understand Asuka.
Though he tried to get back to his magazine, the words stayed stuck at the back of his mind. He was sure he'd the phrase before, but he had no clue where. It was that persistent annoying feeling one gets when there's a word at the tip of his tongue.
He set the magazine aside and pulled out his laptop. He would get to the bottom of this and then maybe he could finally read in peace.
Wall of Jericho. The results loaded. Apparently it was some biblical reference. That explained why Asuka seemed to think it was obvious. Christianity was the main religion in Germany, right?
He investigated further. The wall was part of some famous battle, where the Israelites marched around the supposedly impenetrable wall carrying some sort of sacred artifact for 7 days before blowing trumpets. The display had convinced their god to fell it for them as return for their devotion.
Shinji stopped at that part and looked at the door. She couldn't possibly be… He dismissed the thought. Asuka had probably just referenced it, not knowing the full story of the wall. After all, he didn't think she was Christian, she certainly hadn't gone to church anytime since she'd come to Japan, and it's not like she'd had Wikipedia in front of her like he did.
He closed his laptop and picked up his magazine.
…
He leaned back, dropping the magazine spread on his face, and groaned. Why was this bothering him so much?
Could she really be trying to say something? No… He cut that thought off. Asuka hates me. She'd done plenty to prove that. Hell, one of the first things she'd done was slap him for something that wasn't even his fault. At the same time…
He really wasn't going to get peace of mind without asking her, was he? He inhaled, thinking about all the ways it could go horribly wrong.
Curiosity won out.
He knocked on the door. "Asuka?"
"What do you want, Third? Didn't you hear what I said?"
"I'm not… penetrating the wall." He cringed inwardly at the way the word sounded, but kept going. "I just wanted to ask you a question, since you know way more about biblical stuff than me. You did grow up in Germany after all, and you seem the scholarly sort." He hoped the compliment would ameliorate her rage at the disturbance. He heard her move and sigh.
"Fine, I suppose I do know more about it than you. Out with it. What do you want to know?"
"Didn't the Wall of Jericho crumble to dust?" He jerked back as the door slid violently open. She was glaring at him, looking him straight in the eyes.
"What are you getting at, Third?" If looks could kill, Shiji was sure he would've been struck down on the spot.
"Well– um–" he stammered. The glare continued. "It just– It seemed like a weird reference, that's all." He couldn't help but notice how beautiful her eyes were, even as they seemingly plotted his imminent demise. He pushed down the thought. "Y'know… since you wanted me to stay out and all."
"Gottverdammt; du dummkopf." Her gaze finally let up. She sighed, and tossed back the hair that had started to fall in front of her face. Shinji stared, transfixed. "Maybe if they'd made the wall out of whatever substance your skull seems to be composed of even the might of God wouldn't have toppled it."
"Huh?"
"Forget about it. You really are a bit slow, aren't you?"
"H– hey!"
"Oh? Did someone finally grow a spine to supplement his thick head?" She was starting to do what she did best—ticking him off.
"Could you stop piling on insult after insult?" He paused a moment, seemingly unsure of what he was about to say. "Do– do I need to remind you that you, self proclaimed greatest pilot in the world, got us into this stupid dance training?"
A sound startled Shinji. Was that… was Asuka crying? Had he gone too far? "I– I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." She looked at him, tears running from her eyes.
She wasn't crying though.
Asuka Langley Soryu was laughing at him. His nails bit into his palms as he curled his fists.
"Mein gott–" She struggled to get the words out, managing just barely, though they were still punctuated by laughter. "This is amazing. You have grown a spine." She managed to halt her laughing enough to string together a longer sentence: "I should've figured it out the moment you knocked on that door." She toppled backward in a fit of giggles.
Shinji was conflicted. On one hand, she was ridiculing him and even had the gall to laugh when he called her on it. Any other time the laughter would've been the final straw. On the other hand… she looked absolutely stunning. She looked actually happy for once. He'd only seen that face before when she glomped Kaji. And he'd managed to bring that out? The idea made him feel strangely warm inside.
He was torn from his thoughts as she sat up, finally having managed to breath.
"You ruined it a bit with that apology at the end, but the rest was on point. There might be hope for you yet, Third." The smile on her face had degenerated back to her trademark smirk, though Shinji could swear he still saw a glimmer behind it that normally wasn't there.
"Th– Thanks?" He rubbed the back of his head. There was an awkward silence as the two stared at each other, neither particularly certain what to say or do. For once, Shinji was the one to break it, though not in particularly effective manner.
"So…"
"Yeah…"
"Did– Was the reference intended?"
Asuka scratched at her shoulder, a gesture of embarrassment which all but answered the question. Her cheeks finished the job. She covered for this in her usual way.
"Don't go getting any ideas! I didn't think you'd do anything about it. I mean… you're you."
The last bit stung. Shinji tossed back a response.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"What do you think it's supposed to mean, you idiot? Anytime you're not in the Eva you're too big a chicken to do anything. It's always sorry this, sorry that. It drives me nuts. I hardly thought you'd actually respond to the tease…"
He knew she wasn't wrong, but it didn't make him feel any better.
"I'm sorry…"
"See?!" She yelled at him. "You're doing it again!"
"So–" He cut the reflex short as she shot him a glare.
"That's… better I suppose." She sighed. "Look, it really is getting late. Let's just get to bed." She looked at him, before taking on a devious smile. "We–ll, I suppose you doooooo deserve some reward for paying attention," the words came out in a sing-songy lilt.
"Huh?"
Then, quick as a viper, she gave him a peck on the cheek, before slamming the door shut.
Shinji just stared at the door beet red. "G– Good night?" He heard another sigh—this one somewhat bittersweet—from the other side.
"G'night, Third."
AN: Not, I suppose, the most unique idea, though it actually seems surprisingly rare among fanfiction. I'm considering the possibility of expanding on and continuing this one, but at the same time, yet another Shinji and Asuka get together butterfly fixfic feels redundant unless I have something unique to offer that the others don't.
But yeah, there it is. I'd love some constructive criticism, if anyone has any. These are all writing practice after all.
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Gah. I wish there was a snippet megathread or some such where I could post these for feedback, instead of letting them languish in this thread unread.
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I like both pieces, although I did find myself enjoying the second piece a little bit more than the first. Neither of the plots were anything entirely original, sure, but it's not like that's an absolute requirement that must be fulfilled each and every time, but rather an extra to be put on top of good storytelling whenever possible.
And the storytelling was good. The narration is fresh, the characters act like themselves and the only bit of criticism I was thinking of (the fact that narration and thoughts weren't all that well differentiated in the first piece) has already been fixed in the second story; another bit of input (although probably biased) would be that I believe the first story could have benefitted from being a tad longer. As in, there is not enough time for the angst to set in before the conclusion of the story brings the mood back up.
As for the second story, I wouldn't be at all against seeing a little bit more if you can come up with the ideas to follow it up. It doesn't need to go all the way to the end of the series for a sequel chapter or two to be worth a read, after all.
And the storytelling was good. The narration is fresh, the characters act like themselves and the only bit of criticism I was thinking of (the fact that narration and thoughts weren't all that well differentiated in the first piece) has already been fixed in the second story; another bit of input (although probably biased) would be that I believe the first story could have benefitted from being a tad longer. As in, there is not enough time for the angst to set in before the conclusion of the story brings the mood back up.
As for the second story, I wouldn't be at all against seeing a little bit more if you can come up with the ideas to follow it up. It doesn't need to go all the way to the end of the series for a sequel chapter or two to be worth a read, after all.
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I definitely spent a good chunk more time polishing the second one, so I'm glad it shows.
On the originality front, I'm having the opposite of the problem I normally have with fandoms. Usually I have plenty of original ideas but no drive to actually write them out. Now I have the drive to write, but not the ideas. Seems I just can't win. I've sort of just been popcorning out draft stories, basically tossing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks. These two thus far were the only ones that actually seemed worth publishing.
As to the pacing issues on the first one, you're right, though I'm not quite sure how to fix it without adding meaningless cruft. To set the dark mood at the start, the scene of her lying in the bathtub is necessary. The problem is, once that's been done, I'm basically stuck temporally, since the rest needs to play out rather quickly because from the moment she's in the bathtub, there's a fairly restricted timespan if she's going to survive (given what we know about the post-2nd impact climate, exposure and dehydration are not particularly friendly). I could possibly start in media res with the bathtub scene, before cutting backward to a time before then and letting tension build up from the uncertainty of when exactly the events are relative to each other. I'll try experimenting a bit with that and see what it yields.
For the lack of distinguishment between thought and narration, thoughts were actually italicized, it just got lost somehow in the export from the Google doc. Thanks for calling my attention to that. No clue how it happened, but it should be fixed now.
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Reuploaded the first snippet with substantial additions for pacing purposes. It's now also significantly longer than before.
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That should be capitalised.
And other than that, I'd say it reads a lot better now. That it starts with Asuka in the bathtub and then goes back to Shinji the day before is a bit weird, but the additions work to the story's benefit in general. I don't think I'd touch much of anything else in there, so good work.
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Is eva supposed to be capitalized? I mean, I wouldn't really say it's a proper noun. I guess it depends on if you treat "evangelion" as a generic name for the type of vehicle, like a jet plane, or if you treat it as the name of a specific model, like the Blackbird. Not certain which route is technically correct, but I guess if the convention has been to capitalize it, I'll capitalize it.
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It comes from the designation of Multi-Purpose Combat Vehicle Yadda-Yadda... Evangelion that Ritsuko uses near the start of the show. To me, it makes sense for it to be capitalised consdering that it's a given name, but I'm sure you could also find claims to the contrary. Use whichever you like the most.
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Ah, you're right. Yeah. That expansion makes it pretty much unambiguously a proper noun.
The Talk
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Well it's been a while, but I picked up the pen again. A different fandom this time, don't know if anyone on these forums is a fan, but here's a little something (mostly a monologue to be fair, might need some work in that regard) set after The Underland Chronicles:
The Talk
His parents' argument in the other room was too muffled to make out.
They never had ended up moving to Virginia. Lizzie's words had mattered only a bit more than his, but ultimately an old colleague of his dad's had reached out with a job offer, and that had settled that question. They needed the money, especially without a regular influx of underland antiques to make ends meet. It was good money too, his dad taught at a community college now for a fair bit more than he had made as a high school teacher.
The first thing his parents had done when the money started coming in was move apartments. They didn't want to be anywhere near the underland gateway anymore, and he and his sisters were banned from going anywhere near the one in Central Park after what had happened with Boots.
Adapting to life back in the normal world had been hard for Gregor. His parents had bundled him off to see a therapist as soon as they had enough cash. Mrs. Cormaci had helped them find one who wouldn't immediately send him to a mental hospital. It figured the old psychic would know someone.
Dr. Pareira had suggested martial arts to help manage his "aggressive tendencies." An old veteran, he'd suggested Krav Maga. Gregor enjoyed his lessons and sparring bouts. Nowadays it was about the only thing that felt normal to him. Not to mention, people respected him there. He'd quickly proved himself about as capable as one would expect after his time in the Underland. It really did help him learn to control his rager instincts.
Unfortunately, sometimes you can't avoid a fight.
Notice of Suspension
He looked down at the piece of paper on the table that was responsible for the current commotion. Some bullies had cornered him on the way home from school. As opposed to at the dojo, at school, he was just the weird kid who kept to himself. They'd thought he was easy pickings. The fight was over before it began.
Luckily someone had seen it go down, otherwise he might be facing a jury of his peers right now rather than a jury of his parents. The cops had grilled him and the witness as the ambulance took the trio who'd attacked him away. Ultimately, they'd been satisfied it was self defense and let him go, but not before telling him not to leave the city, in case they had any more questions.
The school was less understanding.
"Zero tolerance," he could still hear the words echoing through his head. "You're lucky you're not getting expelled young man."
3-month suspension. There was no coming back from that. He'd have to redo sophomore year.
He pulled out the picture he always kept in his wallet. It helped calm him down in times like these, even if the wistful smile it brought to his face was tinged in pain.
He heard the door opening and scrambled to put it back. His dad came out first, followed by his mom.
"Your mom and I've agreed that there's no need to punish you." Gregor could see from his mom's expression that the decision was a bit more contentious than his dad made it seem. "You were defending yourself, and you didn't have anywhere to run. There's no way you could've avoided what happened."
"We're just glad you weren't hurt," his mom joined in. "Three against one? I mean, it could've easily been you in that ambulance.
"I don't want you to think though, Gregor August Flores, that that means we're okay with you fighting. The only reason I was okay with those classes at all was because the doctor said it would help you avoid fighting."
His dad put a hand on her shoulder and she calmed down a bit. Gregor had seen her like this before. She was fuming but she knew what happened wasn't his fault. With the perpetrators a mile away in the hospital though, it was hard for her not to lash out at the next closest target. It was pretty clear whose side his rager genes had come from.
His dad stepped in.
"We're going to have to see what to do about your school. Just because you're not being punished doesn't mean you're getting rewarded with a three-month vacation.
"As things stand, you're going to have to repeat a year. It took a while for your mom and I to agree on this, but we think there's a better alternative." He dropped a stack of books on the table with a thud. With the tension so thick, Gregor hadn't even noticed he had them in his arms, as ridiculous as it seemed. "Despite everything that's happened, we're really proud of you. You're growing up into a responsible young man. With your mom and I both working it's going to be tricky, but we're signing you up for homeschooling."
His staring at the pile of textbooks clearly didn't go unnoticed, as his dad continued, "I know it's going to be a lot of work, but we're confident you can handle it. Even though we can't sit at home and teach you everything, you know your mom and I are always here to help you."
"I think that's that," his mom curtly closed off. Gregor could see her struggle to keep from adding more. Keeping her sentences clearly helped her keep it in. "I'm gonna go pick up Boots and Lizzie from school now. Your dad'll help you get started." She hurried out of the room.
His dad took a seat next to him.
"Don't mind your mom. She worries about you a lot. You know how things have been these last few years." And Gregor knew. It had been almost eight years since their lives had been turned upside down. Three years, one month, and fifteen days since he'd said goodbye to his friends for good. His mom didn't see the latter half of that though.
"Can I see it?" Gregor looked at him. His dad winked at him. "You were quick, but I saw your hand in your pocket as we came in. Don't worry, I doubt your mom saw a thing."
He gingerly pulled his wallet out and took out the picture. His dad took it delicately with two hands.
"You really miss her a lot, don't you?" They both knew Gregor didn't need to answer that question. He sighed, still not looking up. "I'd hoped with time you could forget it all, forget her. You were so young I'd hoped it'd just be a crush like any other at your age.
"You're a handsome young man, take after me in that regard." He let out a laugh. "Though you're in way better shape than I ever was. I suppose war will do that to you. You don't think I've noticed that you've never mentioned a girl at school?"
Gregor felt heat rising to his face. He didn't need a mirror to know the color of his cheeks.
"It's different isn't it? Your feelings for her, they're deeper than they're supposed to be at your age, or especially the age you were." Gregor couldn't help but let out a brief nod. His dad leaned back in the chair. "You're gonna go back one day." It wasn't a question, but his dad still looked at him for confirmation. Gregor didn't know how to respond to that. The pause seemed all the answer his dad needed though, and he continued.
"I had a friend a bit older than me in college. His name was Darius. Wickedly bright and committed to his studies. A good man. I never went further than a master's, but he was working on his Ph.D. at the time. Anthropology. He went to the Amazon to study some tribe. He was only supposed to observe them for a few months, learn about them, and come back to write his thesis.
"His team returned without him. They called it going native. He found their way of life more fulfilling than what he had left behind here in the states. Even if it meant giving up all the comforts of modern life and technology, never seeing his family or friends again, he chose to stay there and live with them." The look on his dad's face became nostalgic.
"We were best friends. Spent nearly all our free time together. When his team came back, they brought me a letter—the last words I ever heard from him." He looked at Gregor, his eyes glistening. "He apologized, but he said it wasn't a choice. He couldn't imagine himself living in our world anymore. There are experiences which change people. When you've had a taste of the life you want for yourself, you'll never stop until you get it. We can keep you here, make you finish school. Try and force you to go to college. Someday, you'll make the choice which truly, you've already made deep down in your heart, and you'll head down there.
"You're in love with her. That's bad enough. People do crazy things for love. But to be honest, even if it may not feel that way right now, with time, you'd find someone else. Soulmates are a myth. There are many people who can make you happy. Your mom and I, we love each other dearly, but if I hadn't come back, one day she would've finished mourning and found someone else. I wouldn't want anything less. When you truly love someone, what you want more than anything is for them to be happy, even if it's not with you."
His dad paused. "The problem is, you also love that place. Your mom said the only reason she let you take Krav was to avoid fighting. My reasons were a little different. I'd spent a bit more time in the Underland. You know I spent some time in Regalia before the rats got me. I already had a life though, and I was determined to get it back or die trying." Gregor jolted as his dad patted him on the back. He'd gotten almost mesmerized by the speech. "If it wasn't for you, it probably would've been the latter. I saw how the Underland changed you though. Even then, you reminded me a lot of Darius's last few letters.
"I hoped I was wrong, of course. But I knew I wasn't. So I wanted to make sure you were prepared for when you went back. I'm scared for you. It's a violent world you've chosen for your own. A beautiful one, but a violent one. Letting your kid go live his own life is already one of the hardest things a parent has to do, and nothing about the circumstances makes it any easier.
"I thought I'd have a few more years before doing it, especially since I know your mom would never agree to it right now. The thing is though, you already came close to losing your life yesterday. The next time something like that happens, you might end up behind bars through no fault of your own, or worse. Kids a year older than you join the army. I reckon your life experience gives you a good bit more than a year on others maturity-wise. Plus, it's going to happen one day one way or the other. Might as well let you go early enough to maybe get the girl too." His dad gave him a cheesy grin. It took Gregor a moment to process what he was saying.
"I can't go though. I mean… mom'll freak. And what about Lizzie and Boots?"
"Your mom's gonna take it hard. There's no way about that. She'd take it hard if you went at 25 too, and we both know it's going to happen one day. Boots… somehow I feel like our cockroach princess is gonna follow you down one day. She never forgot. In hindsight, it makes sense. She may have been three when she first went down, but she was verging on five when it all ended. That's old enough for memories to sink in, especially when they're that intense. Lizzie, well, I hope at least one of you three sticks around, but you know how much she grilled you about it all before she even visited."
His dad got up and left the room. He quickly came back with a suitcase, a backpack, and some papers.
"I've already packed your stuff. Your mom can't know I let you go, so I'm gonna go to the grocery store. I hope you're still here when I get back. If you're not, write home sometimes." He exchanged a look with Gregor, and both of them knew he wouldn't be. He put a paper, a pencil, and an envelope on the table. He started towards the door. As he left, he turned towards Gregor, tears in his eyes.
"Fly you high, son."
"Fly you high, dad."
The Talk
His parents' argument in the other room was too muffled to make out.
They never had ended up moving to Virginia. Lizzie's words had mattered only a bit more than his, but ultimately an old colleague of his dad's had reached out with a job offer, and that had settled that question. They needed the money, especially without a regular influx of underland antiques to make ends meet. It was good money too, his dad taught at a community college now for a fair bit more than he had made as a high school teacher.
The first thing his parents had done when the money started coming in was move apartments. They didn't want to be anywhere near the underland gateway anymore, and he and his sisters were banned from going anywhere near the one in Central Park after what had happened with Boots.
Adapting to life back in the normal world had been hard for Gregor. His parents had bundled him off to see a therapist as soon as they had enough cash. Mrs. Cormaci had helped them find one who wouldn't immediately send him to a mental hospital. It figured the old psychic would know someone.
Dr. Pareira had suggested martial arts to help manage his "aggressive tendencies." An old veteran, he'd suggested Krav Maga. Gregor enjoyed his lessons and sparring bouts. Nowadays it was about the only thing that felt normal to him. Not to mention, people respected him there. He'd quickly proved himself about as capable as one would expect after his time in the Underland. It really did help him learn to control his rager instincts.
Unfortunately, sometimes you can't avoid a fight.
Notice of Suspension
He looked down at the piece of paper on the table that was responsible for the current commotion. Some bullies had cornered him on the way home from school. As opposed to at the dojo, at school, he was just the weird kid who kept to himself. They'd thought he was easy pickings. The fight was over before it began.
Luckily someone had seen it go down, otherwise he might be facing a jury of his peers right now rather than a jury of his parents. The cops had grilled him and the witness as the ambulance took the trio who'd attacked him away. Ultimately, they'd been satisfied it was self defense and let him go, but not before telling him not to leave the city, in case they had any more questions.
The school was less understanding.
"Zero tolerance," he could still hear the words echoing through his head. "You're lucky you're not getting expelled young man."
3-month suspension. There was no coming back from that. He'd have to redo sophomore year.
He pulled out the picture he always kept in his wallet. It helped calm him down in times like these, even if the wistful smile it brought to his face was tinged in pain.
He heard the door opening and scrambled to put it back. His dad came out first, followed by his mom.
"Your mom and I've agreed that there's no need to punish you." Gregor could see from his mom's expression that the decision was a bit more contentious than his dad made it seem. "You were defending yourself, and you didn't have anywhere to run. There's no way you could've avoided what happened."
"We're just glad you weren't hurt," his mom joined in. "Three against one? I mean, it could've easily been you in that ambulance.
"I don't want you to think though, Gregor August Flores, that that means we're okay with you fighting. The only reason I was okay with those classes at all was because the doctor said it would help you avoid fighting."
His dad put a hand on her shoulder and she calmed down a bit. Gregor had seen her like this before. She was fuming but she knew what happened wasn't his fault. With the perpetrators a mile away in the hospital though, it was hard for her not to lash out at the next closest target. It was pretty clear whose side his rager genes had come from.
His dad stepped in.
"We're going to have to see what to do about your school. Just because you're not being punished doesn't mean you're getting rewarded with a three-month vacation.
"As things stand, you're going to have to repeat a year. It took a while for your mom and I to agree on this, but we think there's a better alternative." He dropped a stack of books on the table with a thud. With the tension so thick, Gregor hadn't even noticed he had them in his arms, as ridiculous as it seemed. "Despite everything that's happened, we're really proud of you. You're growing up into a responsible young man. With your mom and I both working it's going to be tricky, but we're signing you up for homeschooling."
His staring at the pile of textbooks clearly didn't go unnoticed, as his dad continued, "I know it's going to be a lot of work, but we're confident you can handle it. Even though we can't sit at home and teach you everything, you know your mom and I are always here to help you."
"I think that's that," his mom curtly closed off. Gregor could see her struggle to keep from adding more. Keeping her sentences clearly helped her keep it in. "I'm gonna go pick up Boots and Lizzie from school now. Your dad'll help you get started." She hurried out of the room.
His dad took a seat next to him.
"Don't mind your mom. She worries about you a lot. You know how things have been these last few years." And Gregor knew. It had been almost eight years since their lives had been turned upside down. Three years, one month, and fifteen days since he'd said goodbye to his friends for good. His mom didn't see the latter half of that though.
"Can I see it?" Gregor looked at him. His dad winked at him. "You were quick, but I saw your hand in your pocket as we came in. Don't worry, I doubt your mom saw a thing."
He gingerly pulled his wallet out and took out the picture. His dad took it delicately with two hands.
"You really miss her a lot, don't you?" They both knew Gregor didn't need to answer that question. He sighed, still not looking up. "I'd hoped with time you could forget it all, forget her. You were so young I'd hoped it'd just be a crush like any other at your age.
"You're a handsome young man, take after me in that regard." He let out a laugh. "Though you're in way better shape than I ever was. I suppose war will do that to you. You don't think I've noticed that you've never mentioned a girl at school?"
Gregor felt heat rising to his face. He didn't need a mirror to know the color of his cheeks.
"It's different isn't it? Your feelings for her, they're deeper than they're supposed to be at your age, or especially the age you were." Gregor couldn't help but let out a brief nod. His dad leaned back in the chair. "You're gonna go back one day." It wasn't a question, but his dad still looked at him for confirmation. Gregor didn't know how to respond to that. The pause seemed all the answer his dad needed though, and he continued.
"I had a friend a bit older than me in college. His name was Darius. Wickedly bright and committed to his studies. A good man. I never went further than a master's, but he was working on his Ph.D. at the time. Anthropology. He went to the Amazon to study some tribe. He was only supposed to observe them for a few months, learn about them, and come back to write his thesis.
"His team returned without him. They called it going native. He found their way of life more fulfilling than what he had left behind here in the states. Even if it meant giving up all the comforts of modern life and technology, never seeing his family or friends again, he chose to stay there and live with them." The look on his dad's face became nostalgic.
"We were best friends. Spent nearly all our free time together. When his team came back, they brought me a letter—the last words I ever heard from him." He looked at Gregor, his eyes glistening. "He apologized, but he said it wasn't a choice. He couldn't imagine himself living in our world anymore. There are experiences which change people. When you've had a taste of the life you want for yourself, you'll never stop until you get it. We can keep you here, make you finish school. Try and force you to go to college. Someday, you'll make the choice which truly, you've already made deep down in your heart, and you'll head down there.
"You're in love with her. That's bad enough. People do crazy things for love. But to be honest, even if it may not feel that way right now, with time, you'd find someone else. Soulmates are a myth. There are many people who can make you happy. Your mom and I, we love each other dearly, but if I hadn't come back, one day she would've finished mourning and found someone else. I wouldn't want anything less. When you truly love someone, what you want more than anything is for them to be happy, even if it's not with you."
His dad paused. "The problem is, you also love that place. Your mom said the only reason she let you take Krav was to avoid fighting. My reasons were a little different. I'd spent a bit more time in the Underland. You know I spent some time in Regalia before the rats got me. I already had a life though, and I was determined to get it back or die trying." Gregor jolted as his dad patted him on the back. He'd gotten almost mesmerized by the speech. "If it wasn't for you, it probably would've been the latter. I saw how the Underland changed you though. Even then, you reminded me a lot of Darius's last few letters.
"I hoped I was wrong, of course. But I knew I wasn't. So I wanted to make sure you were prepared for when you went back. I'm scared for you. It's a violent world you've chosen for your own. A beautiful one, but a violent one. Letting your kid go live his own life is already one of the hardest things a parent has to do, and nothing about the circumstances makes it any easier.
"I thought I'd have a few more years before doing it, especially since I know your mom would never agree to it right now. The thing is though, you already came close to losing your life yesterday. The next time something like that happens, you might end up behind bars through no fault of your own, or worse. Kids a year older than you join the army. I reckon your life experience gives you a good bit more than a year on others maturity-wise. Plus, it's going to happen one day one way or the other. Might as well let you go early enough to maybe get the girl too." His dad gave him a cheesy grin. It took Gregor a moment to process what he was saying.
"I can't go though. I mean… mom'll freak. And what about Lizzie and Boots?"
"Your mom's gonna take it hard. There's no way about that. She'd take it hard if you went at 25 too, and we both know it's going to happen one day. Boots… somehow I feel like our cockroach princess is gonna follow you down one day. She never forgot. In hindsight, it makes sense. She may have been three when she first went down, but she was verging on five when it all ended. That's old enough for memories to sink in, especially when they're that intense. Lizzie, well, I hope at least one of you three sticks around, but you know how much she grilled you about it all before she even visited."
His dad got up and left the room. He quickly came back with a suitcase, a backpack, and some papers.
"I've already packed your stuff. Your mom can't know I let you go, so I'm gonna go to the grocery store. I hope you're still here when I get back. If you're not, write home sometimes." He exchanged a look with Gregor, and both of them knew he wouldn't be. He put a paper, a pencil, and an envelope on the table. He started towards the door. As he left, he turned towards Gregor, tears in his eyes.
"Fly you high, son."
"Fly you high, dad."
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