It's finally happened. Ten years have passed since I arrived in this world. I am free of the...
Dial M for MAGICAL GIRL (Young Justice SI)
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User Total Hestia&theCourt 3 Phearo 1
Episode 1.1: Slavery Day
Hestia&theCourt
Turns out we're plural too.
- Location
- In transition
- Pronouns
- She/Her
It's finally happened. Ten years have passed since I arrived in this world. I am free of the being that has kept me here, and now there is no chance of accidentally breaking the contract I was forced into. So now, I can do what I want. I can go home.
Or, I could, if I didn't feel obligated to account for my actions here.
You know me as the famed superhero MAGICAL GIRL. A member of the Justice League. Someone you can trust. But the MAGICAL GIRL you know is not the full truth. Over the course of these ten years, yes, I have saved lives, but I have also destroyed them. I have done wonderful things that I remain proud of, and terrible things that I wish I had the chance to take back.
So I am publishing the truth, as I remember it (which, aided by a form with enhanced memory, is as accurate as I know how to make it). Once the full truth is out there, I intend to turn myself in to the United Nations and await judgment. I don't know what will happen after that, but at the very least, you will know me as I am, and not as the public faces I wear.
…admittedly, part of my motivation here is to make at least some of the people who have used me as fuel for their sexual fantasies metaphorically drop dead from the shock of this crucial, yet never-discovered fact about me:
I am actually male.
Yes, the teenaged heroine with a face for every appearance is, in fact, a 31-year-old man as of right now, because apparently the magic artifact I was given doesn't give a crap about what gender the user was to start with.
I'll give you a moment to get over your shock and, for the perverted among you, rethink your life decisions.
…you done? Good. There's a lot to cover. And I mean a lot. Some of the things I'm going to tell you are unbelievable, even by the standards of superheroes. Worldviews may shatter. Some of you may never be the same again. And I know for a fact that your faith in me will be severely tested, if not outright broken. But, like it or not, I have done a lot to shape the way Earth is at the moment. You deserve to know why your world is the way it is right now, and you deserve warning, in case the being who sent me here isn't done with you yet. Because knowing him/her/it/whatever, they probably aren't.
And I'm sure by now a lot of readers are screaming at the screen for me to just get on with it, so I'll start after one final warning:
Again, don't say I didn't warn you.
The first thing you have to know to understand my tale is that I'm not from your Earth. I'm from an alternate Earth, one where superheroes exist only in comic books, aliens have yet to find us if they even exist, and magic is simply not a thing (at least, as far as I know). So that's one worldview shattered, and also a thing you should plan for, because my Earth and your Earth are not the only ones out there, and some of them are outright hostile.
And before you ask, no, I am not keeping a tally of worldviews shattered and things to watch out for. Why should I? I know the Internet well enough to know that there are at least a dozen people who are obsessively listing everything I say who will then make their lists available for all the rest of you.
Sorry, getting a little off-track, aren't I? Kind of a problem for me. I've always been easily distracted from stuff I don't want to deal with. Which is probably why the being went for the method it did: to make sure it had my undivided attention.
Imagine, for a moment, that you're waking up on a normal day. Turn off the alarm, go shower, go get dressed for work, etc. No indication that it would be anything but a normal day.
Now imagine that when you go to eat breakfast, you find everyone you care about –family, friends, mentors– bound, gagged, and blindfolded in a heap against the wall.
That was what happened to me, and the worst part is, when I rushed to untie them, I couldn't. My brain shouted commands to go save them, to protect them, but my body was paralyzed.
Don't be too hasty, a childlike voice echoed through my mind. They're still alive, but if you're not careful, I could change that.
A chill ran through me, both at the threat delivered in such a calm, innocent-sounding voice and at the implication that this being was in my head. Even when I thought they were fictional, I've always hated the concept of having a telepath in my head, knowing my thoughts, invading my privacy in the most intrusive manner possible; the idea that not only did telepaths actually exist, but that one knew I existed… gaaah, I'm still shuddering as I write this, and I've had ten years to get used to the idea.
"Wh-who are you?" I managed to ask through the lump in my throat.
My name would be incomprehensible to you, the child's voice replied. But, for the purposes of our interaction, I'll take a form and a name you're familiar with. One that tells you exactly what you are dealing with.
A small, white animal, looking like a cross between a cat and a rabbit with rings around its ears, appeared in front of me. A familiar figure to me, and a deceptively terrifying one. It tilted its head, studying me with its pupil-less dark red eyes. For now, you may call me Kyubey.
This probably doesn't mean much to you guys, since the show Kyubey is from doesn't exist on your Earth. So in explanation, Kyubey deliberately makes itself look cute in order to sucker people into contracts that look appealing but ultimately screw them over completely. All of the evil lawyer stereotypes, disguised with a veneer of innocent cuteness.
So yeah, this told me one thing: this was gonna suck.
I see you understand your position, "Kyubey" remarked. You can't hope to fight me. I can continue to hold you still and make you watch as I kill everyone you care about. Or… you can accept my deal, and they will live.
"Wh-what do you want?" I choked out, trying to pretend that I knew better than to just blindly accept the deal. But really, who was I kidding? This was my parents, my brother, my sisters, my friends… if it meant keeping them alive, was there anything I wouldn't agree to?
No, there is not. Especially since, by your moral standards, my request is not something you would inherently disagree with.
"Stop reading my thoughts!"
I'd be careful about protesting too much, "Kyubey" said casually, his eyes glinting with menace. After all, their lives are in my hands.
Defeated, I sighed and said, "Okay. Fine. What do you need me to do?"
It's simple, said the being with a swish of its tail. I am going to give you a mystic artifact, one that will grant you the power to change things. Then, I will bring you to a universe you know well from your fiction. All you have to do is stay involved. Don't retreat. Don't hide. Go out and change things. If I ever see that you're trying to withdraw… well. "Kyubey" didn't need to finish the threat. I understood the creature perfectly.
If you have remained involved for ten years, you may then do as you wish. Withdraw, or continue to stay involved. Either way, our contract will be finished and your loved ones will be safe.
"…can I…?"
Ask a few questions? Don't bother. I know what they are. Ugh, so creepy.
First, you will have the option of returning home at the end of those ten years.
Second, your loved ones are aware of the proceedings. You will not have to explain it to them.
Third, you know the universe in question as Young Justice, though the show is not completely indicative of what will happen to you or how it will occur.
Fourth, you will appear on July 4th of 2010.
Fifth, I will not explain how the artifact works exactly. I would rather watch you figure it out yourself.
Well, screw you too. "And if I get myself killed before I figure it out?"
Another tail swish, and a small circular device about the size of a smartphone appeared in my hand. I will say this much: in order to activate it, press the letters "M", "A", "G", "I", and "C" in that order. When you no longer need it, press the letters "G", "I", "R", and "L" in that order. And, while we're on the topic of death, dying does not count as a failure to live up to the deal unless you weren't trying to abide by its terms. No deliberate suicide, but death as a result of you staying involved will not count against you.
"Except for me, being, y'know, dead."
True, but your loved ones will be spared if that happens.
"If it's all the same to you, I'm going to try not to die anyway," I said.
That would be preferable, yes. You will be significantly less entertaining if you do.
Yeah, because that was what I was worried about.
Any further questions?
"A bunch, to be honest. The biggest one being-."
Why you and not someone else? The being sat, licking its paw in a dignified manner, a flawless replication of cat behavior. Believe it or not, I am but an emissary, and not privy to the thought process of my superiors.
Riiiight.
It is true, regardless of your skepticism. And before you ask, no, I will not disclose the identity of my superiors.
So that was a bust, but I was still in information-gathering mode. "So where-?"
-will you be placed?
I gritted my teeth. I was really tired of him answering my questions before I asked them.
Truly? Then I suppose I needn't answer any more.
"What? No, that's not what I-!"
Goodbye.
And with that, I was no longer in my house, but standing at the side of a highway, facing a sign that read "Welcome to Happy Harbor!" Complete with a picture of smiling children.
There was only one sane response to this course of events.
"SCREW YOU, KYUBEY!"
Or, I could, if I didn't feel obligated to account for my actions here.
You know me as the famed superhero MAGICAL GIRL. A member of the Justice League. Someone you can trust. But the MAGICAL GIRL you know is not the full truth. Over the course of these ten years, yes, I have saved lives, but I have also destroyed them. I have done wonderful things that I remain proud of, and terrible things that I wish I had the chance to take back.
So I am publishing the truth, as I remember it (which, aided by a form with enhanced memory, is as accurate as I know how to make it). Once the full truth is out there, I intend to turn myself in to the United Nations and await judgment. I don't know what will happen after that, but at the very least, you will know me as I am, and not as the public faces I wear.
…admittedly, part of my motivation here is to make at least some of the people who have used me as fuel for their sexual fantasies metaphorically drop dead from the shock of this crucial, yet never-discovered fact about me:
I am actually male.
Yes, the teenaged heroine with a face for every appearance is, in fact, a 31-year-old man as of right now, because apparently the magic artifact I was given doesn't give a crap about what gender the user was to start with.
I'll give you a moment to get over your shock and, for the perverted among you, rethink your life decisions.
…you done? Good. There's a lot to cover. And I mean a lot. Some of the things I'm going to tell you are unbelievable, even by the standards of superheroes. Worldviews may shatter. Some of you may never be the same again. And I know for a fact that your faith in me will be severely tested, if not outright broken. But, like it or not, I have done a lot to shape the way Earth is at the moment. You deserve to know why your world is the way it is right now, and you deserve warning, in case the being who sent me here isn't done with you yet. Because knowing him/her/it/whatever, they probably aren't.
And I'm sure by now a lot of readers are screaming at the screen for me to just get on with it, so I'll start after one final warning:
Again, don't say I didn't warn you.
The first thing you have to know to understand my tale is that I'm not from your Earth. I'm from an alternate Earth, one where superheroes exist only in comic books, aliens have yet to find us if they even exist, and magic is simply not a thing (at least, as far as I know). So that's one worldview shattered, and also a thing you should plan for, because my Earth and your Earth are not the only ones out there, and some of them are outright hostile.
And before you ask, no, I am not keeping a tally of worldviews shattered and things to watch out for. Why should I? I know the Internet well enough to know that there are at least a dozen people who are obsessively listing everything I say who will then make their lists available for all the rest of you.
Sorry, getting a little off-track, aren't I? Kind of a problem for me. I've always been easily distracted from stuff I don't want to deal with. Which is probably why the being went for the method it did: to make sure it had my undivided attention.
Imagine, for a moment, that you're waking up on a normal day. Turn off the alarm, go shower, go get dressed for work, etc. No indication that it would be anything but a normal day.
Now imagine that when you go to eat breakfast, you find everyone you care about –family, friends, mentors– bound, gagged, and blindfolded in a heap against the wall.
That was what happened to me, and the worst part is, when I rushed to untie them, I couldn't. My brain shouted commands to go save them, to protect them, but my body was paralyzed.
Don't be too hasty, a childlike voice echoed through my mind. They're still alive, but if you're not careful, I could change that.
A chill ran through me, both at the threat delivered in such a calm, innocent-sounding voice and at the implication that this being was in my head. Even when I thought they were fictional, I've always hated the concept of having a telepath in my head, knowing my thoughts, invading my privacy in the most intrusive manner possible; the idea that not only did telepaths actually exist, but that one knew I existed… gaaah, I'm still shuddering as I write this, and I've had ten years to get used to the idea.
"Wh-who are you?" I managed to ask through the lump in my throat.
My name would be incomprehensible to you, the child's voice replied. But, for the purposes of our interaction, I'll take a form and a name you're familiar with. One that tells you exactly what you are dealing with.
A small, white animal, looking like a cross between a cat and a rabbit with rings around its ears, appeared in front of me. A familiar figure to me, and a deceptively terrifying one. It tilted its head, studying me with its pupil-less dark red eyes. For now, you may call me Kyubey.
This probably doesn't mean much to you guys, since the show Kyubey is from doesn't exist on your Earth. So in explanation, Kyubey deliberately makes itself look cute in order to sucker people into contracts that look appealing but ultimately screw them over completely. All of the evil lawyer stereotypes, disguised with a veneer of innocent cuteness.
So yeah, this told me one thing: this was gonna suck.
I see you understand your position, "Kyubey" remarked. You can't hope to fight me. I can continue to hold you still and make you watch as I kill everyone you care about. Or… you can accept my deal, and they will live.
"Wh-what do you want?" I choked out, trying to pretend that I knew better than to just blindly accept the deal. But really, who was I kidding? This was my parents, my brother, my sisters, my friends… if it meant keeping them alive, was there anything I wouldn't agree to?
No, there is not. Especially since, by your moral standards, my request is not something you would inherently disagree with.
"Stop reading my thoughts!"
I'd be careful about protesting too much, "Kyubey" said casually, his eyes glinting with menace. After all, their lives are in my hands.
Defeated, I sighed and said, "Okay. Fine. What do you need me to do?"
It's simple, said the being with a swish of its tail. I am going to give you a mystic artifact, one that will grant you the power to change things. Then, I will bring you to a universe you know well from your fiction. All you have to do is stay involved. Don't retreat. Don't hide. Go out and change things. If I ever see that you're trying to withdraw… well. "Kyubey" didn't need to finish the threat. I understood the creature perfectly.
If you have remained involved for ten years, you may then do as you wish. Withdraw, or continue to stay involved. Either way, our contract will be finished and your loved ones will be safe.
"…can I…?"
Ask a few questions? Don't bother. I know what they are. Ugh, so creepy.
First, you will have the option of returning home at the end of those ten years.
Second, your loved ones are aware of the proceedings. You will not have to explain it to them.
Third, you know the universe in question as Young Justice, though the show is not completely indicative of what will happen to you or how it will occur.
Fourth, you will appear on July 4th of 2010.
Fifth, I will not explain how the artifact works exactly. I would rather watch you figure it out yourself.
Well, screw you too. "And if I get myself killed before I figure it out?"
Another tail swish, and a small circular device about the size of a smartphone appeared in my hand. I will say this much: in order to activate it, press the letters "M", "A", "G", "I", and "C" in that order. When you no longer need it, press the letters "G", "I", "R", and "L" in that order. And, while we're on the topic of death, dying does not count as a failure to live up to the deal unless you weren't trying to abide by its terms. No deliberate suicide, but death as a result of you staying involved will not count against you.
"Except for me, being, y'know, dead."
True, but your loved ones will be spared if that happens.
"If it's all the same to you, I'm going to try not to die anyway," I said.
That would be preferable, yes. You will be significantly less entertaining if you do.
Yeah, because that was what I was worried about.
Any further questions?
"A bunch, to be honest. The biggest one being-."
Why you and not someone else? The being sat, licking its paw in a dignified manner, a flawless replication of cat behavior. Believe it or not, I am but an emissary, and not privy to the thought process of my superiors.
Riiiight.
It is true, regardless of your skepticism. And before you ask, no, I will not disclose the identity of my superiors.
So that was a bust, but I was still in information-gathering mode. "So where-?"
-will you be placed?
I gritted my teeth. I was really tired of him answering my questions before I asked them.
Truly? Then I suppose I needn't answer any more.
"What? No, that's not what I-!"
Goodbye.
And with that, I was no longer in my house, but standing at the side of a highway, facing a sign that read "Welcome to Happy Harbor!" Complete with a picture of smiling children.
There was only one sane response to this course of events.
"SCREW YOU, KYUBEY!"
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Omake: Rising Heart Beam
- Location
- Somewhere down the road~
My likely reaction to that particular combination of effects:
*starts the song, begins charging energy*
*Bad guy sees me charging energy*
*Bad guy hits me with everything he's got*
Because seriously, who's gonna let me stand there and sing a song in the middle of combat?
Ahem, an omake, from me to you:
Everything was running smoothly for the duo's first ever heist. Well, okay, they may have compromised on repainting airsoft guns rather than getting real ones, and just 'borrowing' a pair of stockings from Phillis' missus for their slapdash masks, but everyone was terrified and the money was coming in real smooth.
Well, it was, until the glass panel that stretched across the front broke and shattered as a pink glowing blur crashed through it and into the bank.
The pinkish light subsided when the blur stopped, leaving only the form of an oddly costumed girl dusting off the hems of her heart-peppered skirt. She coughed into her fist, before striking a pose somewhere between adorable and stupefying awkward.
"Stop right there, criminal scum!"
The silence that perpetuated the bank at her exclamation may have said more than words could have possibly conveyed.
"Ey, Roger," Phillis loudly whispered to the other half of the thieving duo, "I don't really think I can fight a kid, eh."
"Uh, Phillie, she may have heard that," Roger replied, hand on his face as he loudly whispers back, "I think she's blushing."
"How can you tell? Everything on her is pink and-"
"Shut up!" Phillis was rather miffed about being interrupted by the girl, but before he can interject she continued:
"I'm sick and tired of everyone making fun of me!" Her face was wholly red now, save for the pink diamond mask on her face preventing anyone from truly identifying her. "That's it!"
"Oh yeah?" Phillis, quite petty at being interrupted, snarked back in his thick canadian accent, "Whatcha gonna do about it, girlie?"
"This!"
Then everything in the room went pink-
"Phillie, I can't see anythin'!" Roger shouted, blinded from the searing pink girliness the heroine was emanating.
To protect the world from evil and injustice!
"Me too, Roger!" Everyone was, actually. It was practically a flashbang in its intensity.To spread happiness and love through the hearts of all!
"I can't hear anything, Phillie! Some sorta music's drowning everything out!"In the name of love, here I go~~~
"Whaddya say e-"~~~~Rising Heart ♥ Beam!~~~~
Later, after the whole shebang, the duo were found embedded six foot into a concrete wall, and had all this to say about the entire altercation:
"I think I'll stick with Superman, eh."
"We're not even in Metropolis, Phillie."
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Episode 1.2: Slavery Day
Hestia&theCourt
Turns out we're plural too.
- Location
- In transition
- Pronouns
- She/Her
"SERIOUSLY, KYUBEY, SCREW YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR!"
Somehow, I do not believe you actually mean that. Without warning, "Kyubey" appeared on top of the Happy Harbor sign. You do not strike me as the type to casually fornicate with-.
"Not what I meant, please don't finish that thought!" I yelled, feeling my cheeks heat up from embarrassment.
If I must. The creature's eyes glittered with dark amusement.
"Why are you even here, anyway? I mean, you literally just teleported me away."
There are a few more details I am required to inform you of. The bunnycat thing stretched. First, you have no material possessions to your name. According to this planet's databases, you do not exist.
Craaaaaap. "Scr- er, a pox on you, Kyubey."
My species does not sustain illness, although I recognize your unfriendly intent.
I gritted my teeth. Leave it to someone posing as Kyubey to be completely uninsultable. (Is that even a word?)
There is one small exception: you will find your phone, with all your music files included, as well as a charger.
"Great, so I can listen to Megalovania while I'm wandering around as a hobo. Thanks. Real helpful." I put as much sarcasm into that as I could, even knowing that it wouldn't do any good. What can I say? Old habits die hard, and sarcasm is definitely one of my older habits.
In spite of your lack of sincerity, you are welcome, the creature replied smugly, swishing its tail. Another thing I must inform you of is the fact that as long as you do not take it into excess, time to practice with your abilities will not count against you.
I shuddered at the thought. Yeah, that would've been bad. At least the creature's master seemed to want to pretend it was playing fair.
Finally… With another tail swish, Kyubey and I were abruptly standing on a rocky shore, facing the ocean. I am required to lead you to a place where you can practice if you so desire. I believe this will suffice.
"You couldn't have picked somewhere warmer?" I muttered, hugging myself in a futile attempt to counteract the cold breeze coming from the ocean.
I could have, "Kyubey" agreed, its head tilting. But then you would have been noticed. This place is cold, unfriendly, and difficult to reach. The odds of detection are low.
…unfortunately, I couldn't argue with that logic, so instead, I pulled the device out of my pocket. Its surface was cool to the touch and made out of what looked like obsidian. A red pentagram was inscribed on it, with a smaller red square inside it. At each of the pentacle's points and at each corner of the square, a single red cursive capital letter glowed softly. Weirdly, no matter which way I tilted the device, the orientation of the letters stayed constant: the letter "A" would always be at the top point of the pentacle, "G" was always the top left corner of the square, and so on.
All in all, the thing looked pretty ominous, although the effect was somewhat mitigated when I realized that the letters were just "magic" and "girl" arranged in alphabetical order going clockwise. I mean, seriously, was the creator of this device just OCD or something? Why would it be in alphabetical order? I still have yet to figure this out.
Anyway, it didn't look like it had any buttons. I gingerly pressed my finger against the "m", and while there didn't seem to be a button there at all, it lit up more brightly. It almost reminded me of a... hm. I swiped my finger from the "m" to the "a", and the "a" lit up as well.
"Huh. Didn't know weird magic devices came with touch screens."
"Kyubey" didn't comment, so I kept moving my finger to spell "Magic" and…
…yeah, even ten years later, I still can't find a good way to describe what happened. I don't know if it's anything like taking drugs, but if it is, I don't see why anyone does it. It's so disorienting. The world vanishing, replaced by psychedelic colors, sparkles, and swirls... the feeling of my body changing into the other gender, complete with the Animorphs-esque feeling that I should be in immense pain but aren't… my clothes vanishing, but no feeling colder as a result… or, in this particular case, no feeling at all. As if my nerve endings had just vanished.
And the worst bit was me talking… no, yelling without having any idea why I was saying any of it. Especially since… well, it sounded so cheesy. I mean, you're all used to it by now, and I've grudgingly accepted it, but imagine hearing it for the first time coming out of your mouth without any say in the matter. It was seriously unnerving.
At the time, I had no idea how long the process took, but it felt like forever. You think magical girl transformations take a long time in anime? Try living through one. The only good thing about the length of it is that by the time I was done, the shock of suddenly transforming had worn off and I had made the obvious connection. Well, obvious if you had read a certain comic about a device that granted randomized power sets, anyway.
"…you gave me a magical girl version of the H-Dial, didn't you?" My voice sounded completely unfamiliar, and not just because it was female. My voice, normally higher-pitched and somewhat childlike, was now low and gravelly, kind of like one or two older Hispanic smokers I've known.
You could say that, yes.
"Lovely," I grumbled. "Because of course you gave me the device that will give me a random powerset and appearance every time I use it. Because why let me get used to my powers and find new ways to use them when you can make me have to figure out what my powers are every stinking time I take a new form?!" By the end, I was practically yelling. Normally I'm better about controlling my temper, but, well… I'd like to see you keep your cool under the same circumstances.
And I swear, even though the creature's expression technically never changes, I'm sure I saw a smirk on that thing's face. Why do you think you have been allowed time to practice? This will give you an opportunity to find ways around that limitation.
I growled, resisting the temptation to punch the creature. I was pretty sure it wouldn't do any good. "Why are you even still here? You're not exactly being helpful anymore. You told me everything you said you needed to tell me."
I'm told it's thematic for a magical girl to have an animal companion, "Kyubey" said, tilting its head. Seeing as you do not have one of your own at the moment, I am evidently the current stand-in.
"So not only do I have to figure out how to make this work in my favor, I have to do it with you watching?!" I threw up my hands. "Great. Just great. Any other ways you plan to make my life miserable today? Might as well get them all out of the way now, right?!"
I have no further intentions to make you miserable today.
With a sigh, I replied, "And yet somehow that fails to reassure me."
It is not my fault that you consider me untrustworthy.
"I-! But-! You-! ARGH!"
…are you done?
The hint of another smirk snapped what was left of my self-control, and instinct took over. Jutting my arm into the sky, I yelled "SHUT UP!", causing a huge stalagmite to erupt beneath "Kyubey" and impale the creature, suspending him several feet in midair. Then I clenched my fist, and a stone burst out of the ground and flew at high speed towards the peak where "Kyubey" was stuck. Then another, and another, and another… Rock smashed against rock, booming and cracking loudly, but I was too angry to care about the earsplitting racket I was causing, or about the stone dust stinging my eyes. I just wanted him dead. And, after the dust died down and I saw what little was left of his body, I thought maybe I had succeeded.
Well. This is unexpected, a depressingly familiar voice echoed in my head, crushing my hopes. "Kyubey" sat atop a nearby boulder, licking stone dust off of its paw. Yet this does appear to have amused my superiors. I will serve as your target during practice.
Logically speaking, I should have been frustrated that he considered my attacks so ineffective that he seemed completely indifferent to the idea of being my punching bag. In hindsight, I should probably have also been worried about the fact that I had felt no remorse when I thought I had killed him. But at the time…
I grinned savagely. "So I get the chance to crush you over and over again with no consequences? First good news I've heard all day!"
It was a very educational killing spree, even if the creature seemed completely unfazed no matter what I did.
Deaths 1-6 established that I definitely had a fairly potent geomantic ability. I couldn't do more than one thing at once with stone, but as long as I focused on one thing at a time, the rock was my plaything. Spikes, boulders, giant hands… just for fun, I tried to make a Green Lantern ring out of stone, and managed to get a surprising amount of detail on it. Then I sent it flying through the creature's head. Apparently, this form also came with pretty good aiming skills.
Deaths 7-13 established that I had summonable weapons. I found out later that they were known as hunga mungas, a type of African throwing axe. At the time, I thought I was throwing distorted sharpened swastikas. (Which made me wonder why the heck anyone would make such weapons.) But what they lacked in political correctness, they made up for in utility. They were made of stone, which allowed me to control them with geomancy in order to propel them at much higher speeds after throwing them. No matter what punishment they took, they didn't break, and they returned to my hands instantly when I wanted them back. And they were satisfyingly sharp, sharp enough that the cliff nearby provided very little resistance to being sliced through when I propelled them at top speed. (Not that I meant to attack the cliff, mind. It just happened to be behind "Kyubey".)
Death 23 was when I slowed down enough to realize that I wasn't just a geomancer, I was actually made of stone. Admittedly, this was after a punch missed and I accidentally shattered my right hand against the cliff. Although, to my credit, I also left a fair-sized crater in the cliff.
To this day, I'm surprised I didn't freak out, but in hindsight, I think something about being in Magical Girl form blunts my fear response. Probably a good thing, because otherwise I'd probably have spent every fight hiding.
It probably also helped that I felt no pain whatsoever, wasn't even remotely tired in spite of several minutes of strenuous activity, and that my hand grew back within seconds. It's amazing how much more blasé about injury you become when you don't tire, feel no pain, and can regenerate from be-handing in less than a minute.
It was weird-looking, though, I'll say that much. Black gravel sprouted from the stump where my hand had been and started fusing together, forming a hand made out of what looked like obsidian.
Huh. I hadn't realized I was made of obsidian. What else had I not noticed?
That thought was troubling enough for me to take a closer look at myself by checking out my reflection in the water.
My whole body was made of smoothly-polished obsidian, covered by a dark red robe with a hood. My eyes glowed softly red. The effect was somewhat muted by the fact that it was still daytime, but overall…
"I look kinda like a Sith Lord… Sith Lady? Whatever. I look like one. …well, minus the lightsaber." I grimaced. "And also a little too short. Come on, if I'm going to get a different body, couldn't I have at least been tall?"
It was a possibility, but it didn't happen to be the case this time.
I threw a hunga munga at "Kyubey" and split him in two. "Shut up, Kyubey." At this point, though, it was more habit than actual anger. That had worn off somewhere around Death 12.
I stopped trying to kill Kyubey after Death 26. It was just… boring me at that point, even with wearing my homemade ring and pretending I was a Green Lantern. Besides, I had a fairly good handle on my abilities, since they basically responded to my desires. I didn't have to visualize the desired effect exactly to get results, which made things much easier.
…help…
…what? That seemed out of character for "Kyubey". "And I'm supposed to want to help you why, exactly?" I asked, turning to the bunnycat thing.
I didn't say that.
What? "Then… who did?"
As if in response, a transparent, female humanoid figure rose from the rock in front of me. …help… me… Some sort of weird energy hovered around her. Nothing I could see, but more sensed. Like the feeling you get when someone's watching you or something? Argh, it's hard to describe even now. Anyway, I could feel the energy around her, and I got the feeling that I could manipulate it. Make it stronger, or disperse it…
I didn't do either just then, though. "What do you need help with?" I asked the figure. "And, uh, who are you, anyway?
…i… am cynthia… cynthia pearson… my daughter… she needs… help…
"What's the problem?"
…kidnapped… ex-husband… found her… don't know… what he'll do…
I clenched my fist and my teeth, restraining my anger. Better to use it on him. "Do you know where he is now?"
…yes…
With a thought, I summoned the hunga mungas into my hand. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go make him pay."
Somehow, I do not believe you actually mean that. Without warning, "Kyubey" appeared on top of the Happy Harbor sign. You do not strike me as the type to casually fornicate with-.
"Not what I meant, please don't finish that thought!" I yelled, feeling my cheeks heat up from embarrassment.
If I must. The creature's eyes glittered with dark amusement.
"Why are you even here, anyway? I mean, you literally just teleported me away."
There are a few more details I am required to inform you of. The bunnycat thing stretched. First, you have no material possessions to your name. According to this planet's databases, you do not exist.
Craaaaaap. "Scr- er, a pox on you, Kyubey."
My species does not sustain illness, although I recognize your unfriendly intent.
I gritted my teeth. Leave it to someone posing as Kyubey to be completely uninsultable. (Is that even a word?)
There is one small exception: you will find your phone, with all your music files included, as well as a charger.
"Great, so I can listen to Megalovania while I'm wandering around as a hobo. Thanks. Real helpful." I put as much sarcasm into that as I could, even knowing that it wouldn't do any good. What can I say? Old habits die hard, and sarcasm is definitely one of my older habits.
In spite of your lack of sincerity, you are welcome, the creature replied smugly, swishing its tail. Another thing I must inform you of is the fact that as long as you do not take it into excess, time to practice with your abilities will not count against you.
I shuddered at the thought. Yeah, that would've been bad. At least the creature's master seemed to want to pretend it was playing fair.
Finally… With another tail swish, Kyubey and I were abruptly standing on a rocky shore, facing the ocean. I am required to lead you to a place where you can practice if you so desire. I believe this will suffice.
"You couldn't have picked somewhere warmer?" I muttered, hugging myself in a futile attempt to counteract the cold breeze coming from the ocean.
I could have, "Kyubey" agreed, its head tilting. But then you would have been noticed. This place is cold, unfriendly, and difficult to reach. The odds of detection are low.
…unfortunately, I couldn't argue with that logic, so instead, I pulled the device out of my pocket. Its surface was cool to the touch and made out of what looked like obsidian. A red pentagram was inscribed on it, with a smaller red square inside it. At each of the pentacle's points and at each corner of the square, a single red cursive capital letter glowed softly. Weirdly, no matter which way I tilted the device, the orientation of the letters stayed constant: the letter "A" would always be at the top point of the pentacle, "G" was always the top left corner of the square, and so on.
All in all, the thing looked pretty ominous, although the effect was somewhat mitigated when I realized that the letters were just "magic" and "girl" arranged in alphabetical order going clockwise. I mean, seriously, was the creator of this device just OCD or something? Why would it be in alphabetical order? I still have yet to figure this out.
Anyway, it didn't look like it had any buttons. I gingerly pressed my finger against the "m", and while there didn't seem to be a button there at all, it lit up more brightly. It almost reminded me of a... hm. I swiped my finger from the "m" to the "a", and the "a" lit up as well.
"Huh. Didn't know weird magic devices came with touch screens."
"Kyubey" didn't comment, so I kept moving my finger to spell "Magic" and…
…yeah, even ten years later, I still can't find a good way to describe what happened. I don't know if it's anything like taking drugs, but if it is, I don't see why anyone does it. It's so disorienting. The world vanishing, replaced by psychedelic colors, sparkles, and swirls... the feeling of my body changing into the other gender, complete with the Animorphs-esque feeling that I should be in immense pain but aren't… my clothes vanishing, but no feeling colder as a result… or, in this particular case, no feeling at all. As if my nerve endings had just vanished.
And the worst bit was me talking… no, yelling without having any idea why I was saying any of it. Especially since… well, it sounded so cheesy. I mean, you're all used to it by now, and I've grudgingly accepted it, but imagine hearing it for the first time coming out of your mouth without any say in the matter. It was seriously unnerving.
At the time, I had no idea how long the process took, but it felt like forever. You think magical girl transformations take a long time in anime? Try living through one. The only good thing about the length of it is that by the time I was done, the shock of suddenly transforming had worn off and I had made the obvious connection. Well, obvious if you had read a certain comic about a device that granted randomized power sets, anyway.
"…you gave me a magical girl version of the H-Dial, didn't you?" My voice sounded completely unfamiliar, and not just because it was female. My voice, normally higher-pitched and somewhat childlike, was now low and gravelly, kind of like one or two older Hispanic smokers I've known.
You could say that, yes.
"Lovely," I grumbled. "Because of course you gave me the device that will give me a random powerset and appearance every time I use it. Because why let me get used to my powers and find new ways to use them when you can make me have to figure out what my powers are every stinking time I take a new form?!" By the end, I was practically yelling. Normally I'm better about controlling my temper, but, well… I'd like to see you keep your cool under the same circumstances.
And I swear, even though the creature's expression technically never changes, I'm sure I saw a smirk on that thing's face. Why do you think you have been allowed time to practice? This will give you an opportunity to find ways around that limitation.
I growled, resisting the temptation to punch the creature. I was pretty sure it wouldn't do any good. "Why are you even still here? You're not exactly being helpful anymore. You told me everything you said you needed to tell me."
I'm told it's thematic for a magical girl to have an animal companion, "Kyubey" said, tilting its head. Seeing as you do not have one of your own at the moment, I am evidently the current stand-in.
"So not only do I have to figure out how to make this work in my favor, I have to do it with you watching?!" I threw up my hands. "Great. Just great. Any other ways you plan to make my life miserable today? Might as well get them all out of the way now, right?!"
I have no further intentions to make you miserable today.
With a sigh, I replied, "And yet somehow that fails to reassure me."
It is not my fault that you consider me untrustworthy.
"I-! But-! You-! ARGH!"
…are you done?
The hint of another smirk snapped what was left of my self-control, and instinct took over. Jutting my arm into the sky, I yelled "SHUT UP!", causing a huge stalagmite to erupt beneath "Kyubey" and impale the creature, suspending him several feet in midair. Then I clenched my fist, and a stone burst out of the ground and flew at high speed towards the peak where "Kyubey" was stuck. Then another, and another, and another… Rock smashed against rock, booming and cracking loudly, but I was too angry to care about the earsplitting racket I was causing, or about the stone dust stinging my eyes. I just wanted him dead. And, after the dust died down and I saw what little was left of his body, I thought maybe I had succeeded.
Well. This is unexpected, a depressingly familiar voice echoed in my head, crushing my hopes. "Kyubey" sat atop a nearby boulder, licking stone dust off of its paw. Yet this does appear to have amused my superiors. I will serve as your target during practice.
Logically speaking, I should have been frustrated that he considered my attacks so ineffective that he seemed completely indifferent to the idea of being my punching bag. In hindsight, I should probably have also been worried about the fact that I had felt no remorse when I thought I had killed him. But at the time…
I grinned savagely. "So I get the chance to crush you over and over again with no consequences? First good news I've heard all day!"
It was a very educational killing spree, even if the creature seemed completely unfazed no matter what I did.
Deaths 1-6 established that I definitely had a fairly potent geomantic ability. I couldn't do more than one thing at once with stone, but as long as I focused on one thing at a time, the rock was my plaything. Spikes, boulders, giant hands… just for fun, I tried to make a Green Lantern ring out of stone, and managed to get a surprising amount of detail on it. Then I sent it flying through the creature's head. Apparently, this form also came with pretty good aiming skills.
Deaths 7-13 established that I had summonable weapons. I found out later that they were known as hunga mungas, a type of African throwing axe. At the time, I thought I was throwing distorted sharpened swastikas. (Which made me wonder why the heck anyone would make such weapons.) But what they lacked in political correctness, they made up for in utility. They were made of stone, which allowed me to control them with geomancy in order to propel them at much higher speeds after throwing them. No matter what punishment they took, they didn't break, and they returned to my hands instantly when I wanted them back. And they were satisfyingly sharp, sharp enough that the cliff nearby provided very little resistance to being sliced through when I propelled them at top speed. (Not that I meant to attack the cliff, mind. It just happened to be behind "Kyubey".)
Death 23 was when I slowed down enough to realize that I wasn't just a geomancer, I was actually made of stone. Admittedly, this was after a punch missed and I accidentally shattered my right hand against the cliff. Although, to my credit, I also left a fair-sized crater in the cliff.
To this day, I'm surprised I didn't freak out, but in hindsight, I think something about being in Magical Girl form blunts my fear response. Probably a good thing, because otherwise I'd probably have spent every fight hiding.
It probably also helped that I felt no pain whatsoever, wasn't even remotely tired in spite of several minutes of strenuous activity, and that my hand grew back within seconds. It's amazing how much more blasé about injury you become when you don't tire, feel no pain, and can regenerate from be-handing in less than a minute.
It was weird-looking, though, I'll say that much. Black gravel sprouted from the stump where my hand had been and started fusing together, forming a hand made out of what looked like obsidian.
Huh. I hadn't realized I was made of obsidian. What else had I not noticed?
That thought was troubling enough for me to take a closer look at myself by checking out my reflection in the water.
My whole body was made of smoothly-polished obsidian, covered by a dark red robe with a hood. My eyes glowed softly red. The effect was somewhat muted by the fact that it was still daytime, but overall…
"I look kinda like a Sith Lord… Sith Lady? Whatever. I look like one. …well, minus the lightsaber." I grimaced. "And also a little too short. Come on, if I'm going to get a different body, couldn't I have at least been tall?"
It was a possibility, but it didn't happen to be the case this time.
I threw a hunga munga at "Kyubey" and split him in two. "Shut up, Kyubey." At this point, though, it was more habit than actual anger. That had worn off somewhere around Death 12.
I stopped trying to kill Kyubey after Death 26. It was just… boring me at that point, even with wearing my homemade ring and pretending I was a Green Lantern. Besides, I had a fairly good handle on my abilities, since they basically responded to my desires. I didn't have to visualize the desired effect exactly to get results, which made things much easier.
…help…
…what? That seemed out of character for "Kyubey". "And I'm supposed to want to help you why, exactly?" I asked, turning to the bunnycat thing.
I didn't say that.
What? "Then… who did?"
As if in response, a transparent, female humanoid figure rose from the rock in front of me. …help… me… Some sort of weird energy hovered around her. Nothing I could see, but more sensed. Like the feeling you get when someone's watching you or something? Argh, it's hard to describe even now. Anyway, I could feel the energy around her, and I got the feeling that I could manipulate it. Make it stronger, or disperse it…
I didn't do either just then, though. "What do you need help with?" I asked the figure. "And, uh, who are you, anyway?
…i… am cynthia… cynthia pearson… my daughter… she needs… help…
"What's the problem?"
…kidnapped… ex-husband… found her… don't know… what he'll do…
I clenched my fist and my teeth, restraining my anger. Better to use it on him. "Do you know where he is now?"
…yes…
With a thought, I summoned the hunga mungas into my hand. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go make him pay."
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Episode 1.3: Slavery Day
Hestia&theCourt
Turns out we're plural too.
- Location
- In transition
- Pronouns
- She/Her
In spite of the cool trick I discovered that allowed me to move quickly by means of a levitated stone platform, it still took some time to get to the place in question, so I took the time to see what happened when I strengthened the energy around Cynthia, asking questions at the same time.
"So, this ex-husband of yours. Any idea why he kidnapped your daughter?"
he was… a drug dealer… and used to… getting his way… when i left… he didn't take it well…
Interesting. Her voice seemed to be getting stronger as I boosted the energy, and she was becoming less translucent. Just in case, I tried breaking it off and dispersing a little of the energy, and she started becoming more translucent. Okay. If there was a point of no return, I hadn't hit it yet. I went back to boosting the energy.
"Okay. So then what happened?"
I ran… I managed to… get away from him… for years… I think he… must have… tracked me somehow…
I didn't like where this was going.
He found me… and he killed me… because he wants his daughter back…
Yup, definitely didn't like where that went. "Any idea why?"
At this point, Cynthia was corporeal enough that I could clearly see the terrified expression on her face. I don't know… he might just want what's "his"… he might have worse plans…
I'm not a swearing man, but I was tempted just then. "Lovely. Let's hurry!" I threw a little extra "oomph" into the platform's speed, but had to slow down when I started to hear stone cracking. I had to remind myself that I wouldn't get there any faster if I broke the platform.
"Okay, next question. You're a ghost. Can you do anything useful in a fight aside from serve as a lookout?"
I don't think so… nobody could… even see me… until you and the… what is that thing, anyway…
"A massive pain in the butt," I grumbled.
I resent that accusation, as I have not caused you any pain in your posterior, Kyubey said, swishing his tail.
Cynthia looked rather confused. …anyway... until you and the cat thing… nobody could see or hear me…
"Did you try possessing anything? Messing with physical objects? Talking to other ghosts?"
I can't touch anything… I did talk to other ghosts… but none of them were helpful… and I didn't try to possess anything… it didn't occur to me...
"See if you can possess 'Kyubey' while we're traveling, then."
…Cue… Bay…?
I sighed. I could practically hear her spelling it wrong, but now was not the time to correct her. "The cat thing."
…oh… Cynthia looked down at the cat thing. Is he… are you alright with that, Cue Bay?
I would not bother, "Kyubey" said, licking its paw. I have no inherent objection, but my metaphysical presence prevents me from being controlled by any force that is not my superiors.
"Drat," I muttered as I watched the highway I was following to get into the city. "We'll have to experiment with possession later, then. Bad enough I'm going into this with less than six hours' worth of practice; doing something completely new in the middle of the fight is probably a bad idea.
"Anyway, what are we dealing with? You mentioned he was a drug dealer. Any idea how many people he's got with him?"
…a lot…
"…thanks," I snarked, doing my best to ignore the gawkers on the highway below me. "Real helpful. Can you at least tell me if he or anyone who works for him has superpowers?"
I don't think so…
"Well, there's a stroke of good luck. The hard part will be keeping your daughter from getting hurt, then."
Looking back, I really shouldn't have said that.
I stared at the empty warehouse. "You sure you didn't get lost?"
Completely. After several minutes of energy-boosting, Cynthia was almost non-translucent and seemed less likely to fall apart physically, mentally, or audibly. I've followed him for a few days. He's not here now, but he'll be here sometime around 10:00 to finish up a deal with someone.
"Hope you're right," I muttered, reflexively glancing at my right wrist to check the time, only to remember that I didn't have a watch anymore. Screw you, Kyubey. I glanced at the sky, but all that told me was that it was sometime between sunrise and sunset. It's amazing how being teleported to another dimension messes with your sense of time. And by amazing, I mean frustrating. "Any idea what time it is now?"
I think it's around 4:00.
"So what, we've got six hours until he even gets here?" I demanded. "You coulda told me that! I wouldn't have hurried if I had known!"
…sorry, Cynthia says, looking sheepish. That didn't occur to me…
I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. Then I realized that without nerve endings, that doesn't do anything. Stupid stone body. Stupid Cynthia. Stupid Kyubey.
Wait a second… "Come to think of it, why am I made out of stone anyway, 'Kyubey'?" I asked, turning towards the creature. "I don't know of any magical girls that are elementals." Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Cynthia looking confused. Whoops. I had changed the subject pretty abruptly, hadn't I?
"Kyubey" tilted his head, taking a moment to respond. According to my superiors, this device has several preset options, including the possibility of mutation into a less human form. It seems that random chance gave you one of the mutations before you had a chance to experience any of the more baseline forms.
"So I could have just as easily wound up as a lizard person, then. Lovely."
Umm… I turned to see Cynthia raising her hand timidly. What are you talking about?
About then, an idea formed. "Tell you what, lead me to the nearest junkyard or condemned building, and I'll fill you in on the way."
O… kay… why do you want to go to a junkyard, exactly?
I grinned. "If we've got six hours to kill, might as well spend it practicing, right?"
Cynthia looked down at the roughly humanoid-shaped piece of concrete I had made. It's amazing what winds up in the dump; I would not have expected a large hunk of concrete to be here, even if it was only enough to make a body about the size of an average car tire. You want me to try to possess that?
"Yeah," I replied, tossing a hunga munga into the air and catching it on the way down (which I only did because this body came with the instincts to make hurting myself that way unlikely). "I figure having some backup would be good, and you deserve a piece of your ex."
Looking unsure, Cynthia muttered, Well, umm…
"Wait…" I frowned as an unpleasant thought occurred to me. "You're not, like, opposed to fighting or anything, are you?"
Well, no… I'm just wondering how you expect me to fight anyone in this body when none of the limbs are the same size, she said.
I swear, "Kyubey" snickered when she said that.
Groaning, I facepalmed. "Look, this is a test drive. Once we know if you can possess this thing, I can make it less lopsided."
Okay… she said skeptically, floating into the rough statue and… vanishing? Did that mean it had worked…?
"Hello? Cynthia?" I asked hesitantly. "Did it wor-?" The statue suddenly rose into the air, interrupting and answering me simultaneously (and startling "Kyubey", too, which I wish I had gotten on tape).
This feels really weird, Cynthia said, turning in midair. She only seemed to be able to move the statue as a whole, though; I'd have to remember to put joints on it. If I could, anyway; I wasn't entirely confident that I had the finesse to make that work.
"Good weird, bad weird, weird weird?"
Just… weird. I don't know how to describe it… She settled onto the ground in a standing position, making it very clear that one leg was way too short and the other way too thick.
"Oh well. Still, I think we can call this test run a success," I said with a grin. "Now to make it ready for comba-."
"Freeze!"
Wha-? I turned to see about a half dozen police officers at the edge of the landfill, handguns pointed towards me and Cynthia. Where had they come from? I must have been pretty distracted to not notice their approach.
"Drop your weapons, put your hands behind your head, and step away from the statue!" one of them yelled through a bullhorn.
My mind raced, trying to figure out what I had don… oh. I guess my flight on Levitation Rock Airlines hadn't gone unnoticed. And with me looking like a bad guy, thanks to the stupid randomized powers…
They thought I was a supervillain.
Craaaaaap.
"So, this ex-husband of yours. Any idea why he kidnapped your daughter?"
he was… a drug dealer… and used to… getting his way… when i left… he didn't take it well…
Interesting. Her voice seemed to be getting stronger as I boosted the energy, and she was becoming less translucent. Just in case, I tried breaking it off and dispersing a little of the energy, and she started becoming more translucent. Okay. If there was a point of no return, I hadn't hit it yet. I went back to boosting the energy.
"Okay. So then what happened?"
I ran… I managed to… get away from him… for years… I think he… must have… tracked me somehow…
I didn't like where this was going.
He found me… and he killed me… because he wants his daughter back…
Yup, definitely didn't like where that went. "Any idea why?"
At this point, Cynthia was corporeal enough that I could clearly see the terrified expression on her face. I don't know… he might just want what's "his"… he might have worse plans…
I'm not a swearing man, but I was tempted just then. "Lovely. Let's hurry!" I threw a little extra "oomph" into the platform's speed, but had to slow down when I started to hear stone cracking. I had to remind myself that I wouldn't get there any faster if I broke the platform.
"Okay, next question. You're a ghost. Can you do anything useful in a fight aside from serve as a lookout?"
I don't think so… nobody could… even see me… until you and the… what is that thing, anyway…
"A massive pain in the butt," I grumbled.
I resent that accusation, as I have not caused you any pain in your posterior, Kyubey said, swishing his tail.
Cynthia looked rather confused. …anyway... until you and the cat thing… nobody could see or hear me…
"Did you try possessing anything? Messing with physical objects? Talking to other ghosts?"
I can't touch anything… I did talk to other ghosts… but none of them were helpful… and I didn't try to possess anything… it didn't occur to me...
"See if you can possess 'Kyubey' while we're traveling, then."
…Cue… Bay…?
I sighed. I could practically hear her spelling it wrong, but now was not the time to correct her. "The cat thing."
…oh… Cynthia looked down at the cat thing. Is he… are you alright with that, Cue Bay?
I would not bother, "Kyubey" said, licking its paw. I have no inherent objection, but my metaphysical presence prevents me from being controlled by any force that is not my superiors.
"Drat," I muttered as I watched the highway I was following to get into the city. "We'll have to experiment with possession later, then. Bad enough I'm going into this with less than six hours' worth of practice; doing something completely new in the middle of the fight is probably a bad idea.
"Anyway, what are we dealing with? You mentioned he was a drug dealer. Any idea how many people he's got with him?"
…a lot…
"…thanks," I snarked, doing my best to ignore the gawkers on the highway below me. "Real helpful. Can you at least tell me if he or anyone who works for him has superpowers?"
I don't think so…
"Well, there's a stroke of good luck. The hard part will be keeping your daughter from getting hurt, then."
Looking back, I really shouldn't have said that.
I stared at the empty warehouse. "You sure you didn't get lost?"
Completely. After several minutes of energy-boosting, Cynthia was almost non-translucent and seemed less likely to fall apart physically, mentally, or audibly. I've followed him for a few days. He's not here now, but he'll be here sometime around 10:00 to finish up a deal with someone.
"Hope you're right," I muttered, reflexively glancing at my right wrist to check the time, only to remember that I didn't have a watch anymore. Screw you, Kyubey. I glanced at the sky, but all that told me was that it was sometime between sunrise and sunset. It's amazing how being teleported to another dimension messes with your sense of time. And by amazing, I mean frustrating. "Any idea what time it is now?"
I think it's around 4:00.
"So what, we've got six hours until he even gets here?" I demanded. "You coulda told me that! I wouldn't have hurried if I had known!"
…sorry, Cynthia says, looking sheepish. That didn't occur to me…
I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. Then I realized that without nerve endings, that doesn't do anything. Stupid stone body. Stupid Cynthia. Stupid Kyubey.
Wait a second… "Come to think of it, why am I made out of stone anyway, 'Kyubey'?" I asked, turning towards the creature. "I don't know of any magical girls that are elementals." Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Cynthia looking confused. Whoops. I had changed the subject pretty abruptly, hadn't I?
"Kyubey" tilted his head, taking a moment to respond. According to my superiors, this device has several preset options, including the possibility of mutation into a less human form. It seems that random chance gave you one of the mutations before you had a chance to experience any of the more baseline forms.
"So I could have just as easily wound up as a lizard person, then. Lovely."
Umm… I turned to see Cynthia raising her hand timidly. What are you talking about?
About then, an idea formed. "Tell you what, lead me to the nearest junkyard or condemned building, and I'll fill you in on the way."
O… kay… why do you want to go to a junkyard, exactly?
I grinned. "If we've got six hours to kill, might as well spend it practicing, right?"
Cynthia looked down at the roughly humanoid-shaped piece of concrete I had made. It's amazing what winds up in the dump; I would not have expected a large hunk of concrete to be here, even if it was only enough to make a body about the size of an average car tire. You want me to try to possess that?
"Yeah," I replied, tossing a hunga munga into the air and catching it on the way down (which I only did because this body came with the instincts to make hurting myself that way unlikely). "I figure having some backup would be good, and you deserve a piece of your ex."
Looking unsure, Cynthia muttered, Well, umm…
"Wait…" I frowned as an unpleasant thought occurred to me. "You're not, like, opposed to fighting or anything, are you?"
Well, no… I'm just wondering how you expect me to fight anyone in this body when none of the limbs are the same size, she said.
I swear, "Kyubey" snickered when she said that.
Groaning, I facepalmed. "Look, this is a test drive. Once we know if you can possess this thing, I can make it less lopsided."
Okay… she said skeptically, floating into the rough statue and… vanishing? Did that mean it had worked…?
"Hello? Cynthia?" I asked hesitantly. "Did it wor-?" The statue suddenly rose into the air, interrupting and answering me simultaneously (and startling "Kyubey", too, which I wish I had gotten on tape).
This feels really weird, Cynthia said, turning in midair. She only seemed to be able to move the statue as a whole, though; I'd have to remember to put joints on it. If I could, anyway; I wasn't entirely confident that I had the finesse to make that work.
"Good weird, bad weird, weird weird?"
Just… weird. I don't know how to describe it… She settled onto the ground in a standing position, making it very clear that one leg was way too short and the other way too thick.
"Oh well. Still, I think we can call this test run a success," I said with a grin. "Now to make it ready for comba-."
"Freeze!"
Wha-? I turned to see about a half dozen police officers at the edge of the landfill, handguns pointed towards me and Cynthia. Where had they come from? I must have been pretty distracted to not notice their approach.
"Drop your weapons, put your hands behind your head, and step away from the statue!" one of them yelled through a bullhorn.
My mind raced, trying to figure out what I had don… oh. I guess my flight on Levitation Rock Airlines hadn't gone unnoticed. And with me looking like a bad guy, thanks to the stupid randomized powers…
They thought I was a supervillain.
Craaaaaap.
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