56 – What Measure Is A World?
It wasn't instantaneous of course. Documents had to be prepared, information sent up the pipe to let others know that an honest to goodness representative from beyond the Stargate had arrived, and plenty more besides. It was all a major bureaucratic headache but George was of the firm opinion that it was far better than reports that an SG team had started a war or some tomfoolery on some no-name planet. For all that he was a Major General of the United States he didn't relish war like some of his peers seemed to. As it was the tentative official title for said extra-terrestrial was now Ambassador Sun Qui rather than Guard Captain or anything else. It was better than the other options.
"Yes sir, I understand. Well the issue sir is that we don't
have diplomatic quarters prepared in the mountain. The only thing that would approach that which isn't being used are the holding cells."
George paused as someone much higher than him on the chain gave their response. He only barely held back a sigh.
"I don't think she'd really appreciate us trying to herd her into one. According to SG-1 that armor she has is more than tough enough to stand up to any caliber of weapon we've got down here and
then some. We
can't approach her like some kind of primitive sir, her technology outright stomps what we've got."
This time he did sigh as the call was ended.
"Well that sounded fun, George," Jack said from where he was learning against the doorframe. "The suits getting all upset that they got their dissection tools ready and everything for nothing?"
"You tell me, Colonel. If we tried to detain Miss…Qui? Sun? The Ambassador," he eventually decided, "What would happen, in your opinion?"
"Oh she would absolutely destroy us," Daniel spoke up from behind Jack, "We didn't get to see any specific tests or demonstrations but thus far I'm pretty sure that she could outright take the entire base and there would be nothing we could do to stop her."
"It's all hypothetical at this point George," Jack shrugged as he straightened, "Besides, we're not…
actually going to try and 'take her in', right?"
"For now, the jackals are being kept at bay but I can't answer for the long term."
"Uh, General Hammond," Daniel coughed as he pushed his glasses up his nose, "Is…the Pentagon
aware of the fact that she comes from a civilization capable of glassing this entire planet to get her back?"
There was a momentary pause.
"I don't think that's the sort of thing which will ease concerns, Doctor Jackson. Let's…not mention it like that, shall we?"
"Uh…right."
===============================================
Sun Qui stood alone facing the Stargate when George and the rest of SG1 came back into the room alongside a gaggle of scientists and specialists. There wasn't a dedicated diplomat at the mountain as of yet but George figured that there might be one after this if it was indicative of how things might go with the rest of the universe out there. The only ones even standing close to her were a pair of assigned guards but given SG1's fantastical tales about the woman's armor he doubted that they would be anything more than ceremonial for the foreseeable future. In any case she turned when they entered and raised an eyebrow as the Major General walked towards her.
"So, I figure we should start this a little more formally than before," George said as he offered his hand to her.
He realized his faux paus a second later as she tilted her head at the gesture. Damn it he should have thought about how some kind of wackadoo space culture might not have the same kind of customs as Earth – even if they
were all from Earth in some fashion or another! He should have retired instead of taking this crazy job.
"I suppose we should," she eventually said before shaking his hand firmly once and then seating herself at the direct center of the table. "And before you worry about it, yes, we do shake hands in the Empire."
And that was another thing. There weren't any real Empires on Earth anymore and frankly George kind of thought there might be a good reason for that. He doubted that there was in fact much democracy going on up there amongst the stars.
"Now then," her arm blurred slightly as she whipped out an honest to god Asiatic fan and began to use it on herself to the bemused expressions of all present, "I have already stated my name, and so in this instance I shall instead state my polity.
I have the honor to represent the glorious Empire of Wu, the second largest collective state in this galaxy and eternal foes of the tyrannical race known as Goa'uld. Our star fleets and armies trawl across our hundreds of worlds, and we now offer a welcome to the greater universe to
you," she peered at him from behind the fan, "Citizens…of Earth."
It was sort of dramatic but there was nothing really concrete there that SG1 hadn't told him already – hate the slug aliens, fight against slavery, ridiculously advanced technologically in some parts and not so much in others though some crazy planetary rating system…well, there was one thing. The team he'd brought in had already begun murmuring amongst themselves and George just knew that he was going to have to deal with even more eggheads running around than usual. Would it be too much to ask for SG1 to have made it at least a few more missions in before doing something that rocked potentially the entire planet?
"How many worlds, did you say again?"
That was one of the sociologists, he thought. Or maybe a geologist?
"More than three hundred, less than five hundred," Sun Qui tilted her head slightly, her hands in her lap.
"And I suppose we're not going to get anything more concrete than that."
He nearly wheeled on the little bastard and his smarmy tone when Sun Qui addressed him.
"General Hammond…why would we tell a single nation of a single Class-0 planet with whom we have just initiated diplomatic relations with anything of that kind of secure nature?"
Also at the table, Jack cursed near silently as he reached into his pocket and withdrew a set of bills. Unfortunately for him, both George and Sun Qui noticed as he handed it over to Carter whose victorious smirk flickered out almost immediately.
"Colonel, you want to explain to me what you're doing over there while we're doing this?" George huffed with a faint undertone of honest irritation.
Sun Qui merely tilted her head again only in a different direction while keeping her face blank.
"I uh, me and Carter had a bit of an...ongoing discussion over what rating Wu would give Earth."
"Judging things incorrectly comes with increased aging, Colonel, a shame," Sun Qui said with a flicker of a smile before looking to Carter, "You, I assume, made the correct assumption."
"I'm not that old!"
Sun Qui merely shrugged.
"You are free to say so."
"I had a question, actually," a new voice intruded into the conversation.
"Yes, Doctor Jackson?"
Her tone had changed slightly there, George noted. Ah, he realized, the whole 'respect for sciences over the more straightforward military' thing. Yet another weird little cultural detail that George had to try and keep in his brain along with everything else that SG1 had dumped on his lap. It was obvious enough in her tone though, so that was something to keep watch on. For all they had the superior…well, a lot of stuff, the Empire wasn't perfect. Or so George firmly told himself with a bit of planetary pride he hadn't even known he'd had until today.
"
Why are we a Class-0?"
Sun Qui shook her head slightly, disappointment obvious on her features.
"You mean you haven't figured it out yet? I thought it would have been easy to figure it out for a learned man such as yourself."
"I think I have some…theories," he admitted with a nod, "But I'm pretty sure that we're about par technologically and education wise with at
least a Class-1, but even then…"
"Even then?"
Sun Qui's fanning slowed ever so slightly.
"I mean, no offense, but based on your initial description of requirements it seems a little too simplistic to determine a ranking for an entire planet
just based on education, population, and so on."
"Do you mean the single sentence I gave on the subject matter, Doctor Jackson?"
"Uh," Daniel raised a finger before lowering it slightly, "Well we never really talked about it
extensively-"
"That is rather disappointing."
Daniel's face scrunched up in a confused pattern that was being vaguely mirrored around the room. Sun Qui, in turn, sighed and snapped the fan shut and laid her hands upon the table as she spoke.
"The system for determining the ranking of a planet is highly complex and involves an entire bureau of people hundreds strong at the least and involves individuals possessing as complete as possible masteries in sociology, psychology, political science, geography, and many more besides. It involves a level of calculus and in-person census taking as well as surveying to make their determinations. Asking me, a career military woman, to describe that with any level of true thoroughness would be the same thing as asking Colonel O'Neill to accurately state the current top ten songs that teenagers are listening to on the radio."
"Hey!"
"Name three."
"I...uh....well there's..."
"Have I made my point, Doctor Jackson?"
She was entirely too smug, George decided. Smug and condescending. Just because she came from some multi-hundred planet strong, super technologically advanced, and ludicrously powerful nation of space faring people that could crush Earth underneath their boot heel with what might be terrifying ease didn't mean that she could act like that towards his people.
"Is it really necessary to talk to the man like that, ma'am?"
Sun Qui, in turn, sighed and fanned herself just a tad faster than before.
"I suppose not. My apologies. Let us move on, yes?"
"I had some questions, actually," one of the other scientists popped up.
"Joy."
Her face showed anything
but that emotion.
==============================================
It all came crashing down less than a week later.
George had called in SG1 and Sun Qui herself into his office to give them the news.
"I
just realized…I think that your office wasn't meant to hold us
and the littlest Ambassador, George."
"Are you a man or a young boy scared to be so near a woman, Colonel?"
The byplay, if anything, had increased between Colonel O'Neill and Sun Qui. Still, he had a point. All crushed together as they were in the office the addition of the stocky soldier woman from beyond the Stargate had made everyone get just a bit closer together than normal.
"Hey, I've been near women before, look at Carter!"
"Which is why Doctor Jackson and the Freedman are between the two of you?"
Various people blinked and stared at the fact that there was, in fact, two people between Jack and Carter. It was obvious, to George at least, that it was merely coincidence of who had come into the room first and thus how they'd stood. Daniel blinked as Jack then begin nudging him with his shoulder.
"What?"
"Hey just…switch places with-,"
"Why?"
"Because, Daniel, now-,"
"Jack would you-stop!"
George sighed and began to rub his temples.
"Gentlemen!"
The fidgeting stopped, thank God.
"I'm afraid I've got some bad news people. People up top have finally gotten together who they're sending in to officially take hold of this business between us and the Empire – diplomatically I mean."
The immediate storm of questions ended when a heavy metal boot slammed into the ground. With a great round of quiet clicks and unfolding metal the various bangles and such that Sun Qui's armor had disappeared into began to reform. Her expression was serene throughout even as everyone stared.
"Then it is time for me to return home."
"Now hold on here, Sun Qui," George raised his hands in protest, "Listen, I know you said that you only wanted to speak to
us here in the mountain but I can't stop the person their sending."
"All right who's this guy who thinks he can just waltz in here then?"
"His name, Colonel O'Neill, is Senator Kinsey and he is the Chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee, which controls the damn budget of this place."
"I've never heard of him," Jack scoffed.
"Neither have I," Daniel murmured as he rubbed the back of his head.
"It doesn't matter if it is the President of your nation, my orders are to leave the moment this situation occurs."
"I find that hard to believe, Sun Qui."
"I don't care," the woman said, immediately forcing herself through the bunched up SG1 and out the door.
George didn't even pause as he rose from his desk and began to follow. They found her seconds later staring down the person manning the gate.
"You will dial my home.
Now."
"I-I don't think I- General," the terrified looking techie turned to George, "I can't just open the 'gate for her, right?"
"I don't think she's one to let us keep her here, boy," George sighed, "Get it started up."
"Good," Sun Qui grunted before sighing. "I apologize for this, Major General Hammond, but I have my orders. I cannot meet with anyone not of the mountain until I am ordered to otherwise."
"You're kind of putting us in a tough spot here shortstop," Jack butted in, "What are we supposed to tell this Senator guy about you leaving before he can even get here?"
"Say that I finally tired of your primitive realm and chose to return to my superior one," she said flatly, "Or that I got bored. Or that I was recalled by my people for some matter that involves the Goa'uld. Make up it if need be. Surely even
your aging mind can imagine some scenario or other?"
"Colonel O'Neill's flippancy aside, miss, this really is all quite sudden you know. I mean, the man's on his way right now!"
"And I feel for him, I truly do," her face rather emphatically stated that she didn't, "But I have my orders. And I will carry them out."
"I don't quite understand what or
why this is happening," George sighed again, "But I doubt I can stop you."
"You couldn't, but worry not, I found this place far more charming than I thought it would, smell of the elderly every time I passed by Colonel O'Niell's quarters aside."
"My quarters don't smell!"
Sun Qui smiled thinly at George.
"I doubt this is the last time Earth meets the Empire, but for now…I am leaving. Good day."
When Senator Kinsey did in fact show up three hour later, he was none too pleased. The favors he'd burnt to get into this position in order to become the first real ambassador to an extraterrestrial group of humans without any preplanning seemed even more valuable now that he'd used them up. The briefcase he'd put together on how to get the Empire to give them their apparently incredible technologies would go unused. His prepared statement about investigating their apparently undemocratic government and speaking about the benefits of the American system would go unheard. The man steamed back to Arizona in quite a fury after ripping shreds – or so he felt he had – out of the entire SG Command and their teams for their idiocy in letting an
alien dictate terms.
He never noticed the dozen mercurial humanoids which entered his house with him.
Well, then again, how would he have noticed them?
The Eyes were quite good at what they did after all.
