Waking up unexpectedly, trapped on a desert island is never pleasant. It's even less so when...
Dead in the Water: A Dungeon's Tale
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The First Thing You Do Is Panic
Guardsman_Sparky
The Clueless Wonder
- Location
- Virginia
Waking up unexpectedly, trapped on a desert island is never pleasant. It's even less so when you wake up as a newborn dungeon core. Only time will tell if this fledgling dungeon will thrive, or if he's dead in the water.
AN: Why does this website keep giving me ideas?
The first thing one should do upon waking up on a desert island in the middle of the ocean is to have a moment of panic, so as not to do it later at a most inopportune moment. This is especially true when you wake up to find that you also have no body and cannot move.
…
OH GOD I CAN'T MOVE! WHERE'S MY BODY!? I'M GOING TO DIE! OH GOD, MY FAMILY! AUGH! EVERYONE I KNOW AND LOVE THINKS I'M DEAD! I'M GOING TO BE STUCK HERE FOREVER! AUGH! WHERE'S WILSON?!? AUGH! OH GOD WHY!?!
…
Okay, I think I'm good, just got to—I HAVE NO MOUTH AND I MUST SCREAM! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-*
…I think I have it all out of my system now.
…
Okay, yes, I definitely have it out of my system.
Right, let's take stock of the situation, shall we? Start with me. I have no body. I cannot move. I am just a floating ball of shiny, glowey…I don't know what the fuck. Yet, I am still alive somehow. And most distressingly, I'm starting to get a bitch of an itch on my left asscheek, WHICH DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE SO HOW THE FLIPPITY-DO-DA DOES THAT WORK!?
Pardon, I seemed to have had some panicking left to do. Apologies.
Moving on.
Right, let's take in my surroundings.
Let's see, sand under my feet, can't tell you if it's fine or coarse BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY FEET, colored the uniform grey of a dead, washed up jellyfish. Behind me, a dark and foreboding, sheer cliff face reaching up into the sky, which is completely overcast with ugly, dismal clouds. The water beyond the beach is murky and leaden, dirty white foam breaking over jagged rocks offshore. Beyond that, everything disappeared into a thick, impenetrable fog, and there's flotsam and jetsam everywhere, including the rotting back half of a wrecked sailing ship half buried in the sand down the beach over there. All in all, the whole place's just dark and depressing.
Did I die on a cruise or something? Jesus, you'd think I'd remember something like that. I mean, the place only looks like what I'd imagine Davy Jones' Locker to look like. Just about the only things missing are the undead skeleton pirates wandering about.
There was a poof of dark, oily smoke and a disturbed warping sound, and suddenly there was an undead skeleton pirate clawing its way out of the sand to stand right in front of me.
JESUS CHRIST ON A POGOSTICK PUNTING PERVERTS!!!!
I tried to jump back, but of course, I couldn't move, so I just ended up looking like a jackass as I flailed about metaphorically. Meanwhile, the undead skeleton pirate just stood there and stared at me impassively.
[First monster summoned. Undead Skeleton Pirate unlocked.]
I paused in my flailings, staring gormlessly at the little blue window that just popped up out of nowhere. Christ, even in the afterlife I can't escape popups. It's…ugh, it's sticking to my face, it just follows me whenever I try to look somewhere else, dominating my vision.
Go. Go away. Go 'way.
…
It's not working. Maybe if I poke it?
Poke. Poke. Poke. Po – oh hey, that worked. No more annoying popup window. Just me and the undead skeleton pirate…which still hasn't moved.
Wait. How the hell did I poke that popup? I don't even have any fingers!
[Alert! Core unstable – territory required. Claim territory immediately to stabilize.]
I…what? Fucking hell!
Okay, so new popup, it's telling me that the core is unstable and that I need to claim territory to stabilize it. What the heck does that even mean?
I looked down at the little shiny ball of glowiness that I had become. Is that the core? Am I the core? Feckin' heck, that's not good.
Claiming territory…I'm assuming that means just asserting that the given area under me is 'mine,' or something. Looking around though, I really don't want to do it in the middle of the beach, right smack out in the open. I'm feeling horribly exposed here.
Okay, clock's ticking, clock's ticking. Um…
Looking around (vaguely noting that the popup had vanished at some point), I don't really have many options. The beach is largely bare beyond random washed-up debris. The cliff behind me is basically just flat rocks and a few boulders buried in the sand. There's the shipwreck over there, but I…huh. Actually, that's not a bad idea, setting up in the wreck. It'd be thematically appropriate, at the very least, and I'd be out of the open in there.
NOW IF I COULD ONLY MOVE, I'D BE JUST DANDY!
I began looking about in exasperation, only then noticing that the undead pirate skeleton was still standing there, staring at me.
Oh, you're still here?
The undead pirate skeleton nodded.
My metaphorical eyes metaphorically widened. Holy heck, you can understand me?
The undead pirate skeleton nodded again.
Holy crap! Wait, that first popup ad said something about summoning. Did I do that?
The undead pirate skeleton nodded once more. Apparently, he can hear me even when I'm not actively trying to talk to him. Go figure.
I gave the undead pirate skeleton a deadpan look, or at least the closest I could get without a face. We really need to give you a name beyond 'undead pirate skeleton.'
I sat in thought for a moment, my glowing orb-body pulsing pleasantly as I looked over the undead pirate skeleton. He was skeletal (no duh), wearing only a ragged red bandanna on his head and a pair of rotting shorts around his hips and thighs. His pants were held up by an equally rotted rope belt, into which was tucked a notched and rusted cutlass with tarnished brass fittings.
Finally, I spoke up. Deadbeard. Your name is Deadbeard.
For the first time that I knew him (not long, admittedly) the newly christened Deadbeard made noise, an unsettling, full body chatter. It sent shivers up my nonexistent spine, most unpleasant believe you me.
Please don't do that again. At least not near me. Shaking off the shivers, I looked reluctantly at Deadbeard's hands; his bony, fleshless…regardless, I had an idea. Can you carry me?
Deadbeard hesitated, then slowly nodded.
I let out a sigh…somehow. Great. Can you carry me over to that shipwreck over… Crap, I don't have any way to point. That shipwreck behind you and to the left by about twenty degrees?
Nodding, Deadbeard reached out, his hands slowly wrapping around my form like a man grabbing a baseball.
Oh God, bony fingers. Oh yuck. Oh gross. Euah, heebie jeebies! Ooh, if I had a face right now, I'd be making so many faces.
For a while we walked in silence, with only the shifting of the sands beneath Deadbeard's feet and the crashing of the waves to distract me from the bony, fleshless phalanges holding me DON'TTHINKABOUTIT!
Oh, hey look, seagulls…I don't like the way they're looking at me. Go faster Deadbeard, go faster. OH SHIT, KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!
After a…brief encounter with the feather rats, we finally arrived in the shadow of the shipwreck. I bid Deadbeard to stand still while I gave it a good look over. It was…well, it had seen better days.
If I had to guess, I'd say that this used to be a frigate of some sort. Flat deck, hardly any aftcastle to speak of, just tall enough for a short man to stand tall without brushing his head against the roof. One of the two remaining masts was gone, just a splintered stump mounted into the deck just shy of the split hull. Of the other, it was somehow still attached to its mount atop the aftcastle, albeit fallen half off the ship in a mess of tangled cables and twisted sails. Along the side, a row of gunports were bared to the elements, most of the lids torn away or hanging precariously, with the rusted muzzles of naval cannons protruding here and there, like guards standing an eternal watch over the ruined ship. To top it off, the wreck was tilted forward somewhat, the back half of the back half hanging in the air, as if the whole thing was slowly sinking into the sands of the beach.
It was partially sunk into the sand actually, a miniature lagoon spreading out from the open hull breach. Hah. Hull breach seems a bit of an understatement: the front half of the ship was just gone, ripped away like someone had taken a giant cleaver to it amidships. All in all, a very sorry sight.
And despite all that, a very welcoming sight.
Directing Deadbeard up the collapsed mast onto the deck, we were shortly on the ship standing atop the poop deck. There was not much to speak of out on the gently tilted deck. A few moldering ropes, some splintered spars of wood, a rotting ship's wheel. Whatever disaster had befallen this ship had scoured the deck clean.
Down the broken and rotting stairs to the main deck Deadbeard took me, and from there we entered the aftcastle cabin. It was just as cramped as I thought it'd be, and a right mess besides. It had been the captain's quarters, I should think, given the furniture. Along one wall, a bed sat askew, the mattress and sheets long since rotted away. The collapsed ruins of a bookshelf sat sadly against another wall, its contents putrefied into masses of black slime. In the center of the cabin sat a table, a sturdy thing with a scarred surface. There were other things in the cabin, but time and the elements had worn them down beyond recognition.
Set me on the table please, Deadbeard, I requested. Gently, if you please.
Deadbeard did as asked, carefully setting me down in the center of the table. To my delight, I did not roll off the table like I had feared given the slight tilt to the room. I let out a sigh and metaphorically settled in. This was mine now.
Argleflarbleblarble!
No sooner had I thought those words did the strangest sensation pass through me. It was simultaneously a crushing pressure and a stretching growth, as if I was being pressed on all side by inflating balloons.
It was rather discomforting and disorientating.
Finally, the sensation passed, leaving me feeling rather…bloated, yet also somewhat satiated. How odd.
[Core Room established.]
Oh look, the popup's back. Let's see…core room established? The heck?
Almost immediately though, the popup was replaced by another popup.
[Broken Bed absorbed.]
[Shattered Bookcase absorbed.]
[Captain's Table patterned.]
[Rotted Books absorbed.]
As the popup began listing items, I watched in amazement as the detritus and debris began to vanish, one object at a time, until the room was clear of everything but myself, the table, and Deadbeard.
Well…that was a thing. I'm a bit wigged out because I now know everything there is to know about the things I absorbed. And I mean everything.
Bleh.
Oh look, another popup. Let's see what it says.
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 36/25]
[Construction]
[Minions]
[Traps]
Oh joy, a status bar and a menu. What is this, a video game? I … I … wait. What's a video game? I don't…I…I can't…I don't remember. Huh.
Actually, I can't remember much of anything. This is mildly distressing.
God, I…I want to cry, to scream and rage at whatever did this to me, I…I can't deal with this right now. I need a distraction.
Seeing the menu popup, I began poking it vigorously. Construct. Construct. Construct. Constru-*
[Construction]
[No construction available.]
[Claim middle deck? Y/N]
No construction available? What the hell? That's just not fair. Well, I can still claim the middle deck at least. That's the main deck, right? Let's say…yes.
Arklefarkle!
Immediately, the energy just left me, my shiny ball—my core—dimming from a bright light to a mere flicker. It felt like something was sucking the life out of me.
Feeling like I'd just woken up to the worst hangover in the history of history, I looked at the new, slightly wobbly popup that appeared in my vision. Oh wait, no, I...I…I'm the one that's wobbly. Ugh.
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 11/25]
[Construction Complete. Middle deck claimed.]
Hooray. I claimed the middle deck. Whoo. Let's go check it out.
Drunkenly wobbling into the air, I bobbed past Deadbeard and through the closed cabin door out into the sunshine. Oh, this is nice.
Waitaminute…how did I get out here? I can't move?
I looked around. Apparently, I can. How od—wait. Where's my core?
Turning around, I hovered back through the door, to see my shiny ball sitting nice and pretty on the table there. Astral projection. Neat, but how did I do it?
Eh, question later, explore now. I can move again, and by God, I'm going to take advantage of it.
I moved back to the middle deck and looked around at the debris on the floor (it's called the sole, iddn't?). Why wasn't all this stuff absorbed like when I claimed the cabin? Curious, I 'leaned' down and poked a tangled coil of rope.
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 12/25]
[Frayed Rope absorbed. +1 Mana.]
I get mana if I absorb stuff? Neat.
Feeling giddy, I ran (hovered, whatever) around the deck, absorbing everything I could find.
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25 Mana 23/25]
[Broken Spar absorbed. +1 Mana.]
[Broken Railing Piece absorbed. +1 Mana.]
[Torn Canvas Sail absorbed. +5 Mana.]
[Broken plank absorbed. +1 Mana.]
[Rusty Cannonball absorbed. +2 Mana.]
[Broken tackle absorbed. +1 Mana.]
[Tangled Net absorbed. +1 Mana.]
Everything absorbable was gone all too soon, but it left me feeling…not satiated, but like I'd just had a filling snack. Which was nice, because I was almost back up to full mana. I bet myself that I could find more things to absorb on the poopdeck. However, when I tried to go up the stairs, I just…couldn't. No matter how hard I tried, I just could not move forward.
And then a new popup popped up.
[Poopdeck available to claim.]
[Claim Poopdeck? Y/N]
I snorted. Yes, claim the poopdeck. I poked yes.
The popup proceeded to make a rude noise at me.
[Insufficient mana. 30 Mana required.]
[23/30 Mana]
I stared at the popup in exasperation. Well, that's just typical. And me without things to absorb.
Well, I can't leave. But maybe…
Deadbeard, I called. The cabin door opened, and the undead pirate skeleton stepped out into the overcast sunlight. Deadbeard, I need more mana. Could you go and bring me things to absorb?
Nodding, Deadbeard turned and walked over to a broken gap in the railing along the side of the ship…and promptly walked right off the edge. I was still staring in shock when I heard the clatter of scattering bones. Hovering quickly over to the side of the ship, I was relieved to see Deadbeard was no worse for wear. No bones were broken, just simply scattered about as he literally pulled himself back together.
I moved away from the edge of the deck. Well, that was a relief. I don't know what I'd do if I'd lost Deadbeard.
Actually…didn't the menu popup have a minions option? I should check that out while Deadbeard pulls himself together.
Let's see…how do I get the menu popup to work?
Last edited:
First Encounters
Guardsman_Sparky
The Clueless Wonder
- Location
- Virginia
So, it took some doing, but I finally got the menu open. Blasted thing. I swear to God, it's the most counter intuitive thing I've ever come across. You have to not think of it to think of it, and … GYAH! IT JUST GIVES ME A HEADACHE!
So, minions.
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 23/25]
[Construction*]
[Minions]
[Traps*]
Okay, poke the minions options and…viola…vio…that's not right…
Anyways, minions.
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 23/25]
[Minions]
[Undead]
Well, ain't that a decent amount of variety. Ugh, okay poke undead, and…
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 23/25]
[Minions]
[Undead]
[Undead Skeleton Pirate: 50 Mana]
Seriously? Seriously? Fifty mana for a single skeleton? That's highway robbery! How the heck am I supposed to get a decent amount of minions if they cost so dang much? How did I even summon Deadbeard in the first place? …
Urgh…well, can't do anything about it right now, they cost more than my mana capacity.
Right, let's back out and…huh. What's with these stars next to construction and traps? Let's see, poke 'construction' and…
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 23/25]
[Construction]
[New Construction available]
[Construction unavailable]
[Claim Poopdeck – 30 Mana]
[Claim Gundeck – 35 Mana]
Oh look, new stuff. Let's see … Construction unavailable? THEN WHAT'S THE FRICKEN POINT?!
Ugh, I swear, this damn thing…at least the poopdeck and gundeck are available. But Jiminy Cricket why are they so expensive? Ugh.
I swear to God, if I missed the tutorial on this thing and have to muddle through everything…no? No tutorial popup? Nothing at all?
…
God dammit.
Right, back to muddling. Traps. Let's check traps.
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 23/25]
[Traps]
[Pits]
[Pit: 10 Mana]
[Spiked Pit: 15 Mana]
[Snares]
[Counterweight Rope Net: 10 Mana]
[Counterweight Canvas Net: 10 Mana]
[Counterweight Spiked Rope Net: 15 Mana]
Oh, we have actual options this time. This is looking better already.
And let's see. Pits and snares. Under pits we have ten mana for a basic hole in the ground, fifteen for a hole with spikes at the bottom. Okay, okay, that's … actually not bad. Certainly more obtainable than the fifty points needed for an undead skeleton pirate. Hopefully the snares are just as good and…they are. Ten mana for a counterweight rope or canvas net and fifteen for a counterweight rope net with wooden spikes in the knots. That sounds painful.
…
I'll take it!
…later. First, I need to wait for Deadbeard to get back. I don't want to spend mana willy-nilly, only to find out that Deadbeard…
Why did the sensation of eating a potato chip just go through me?
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 24/25]
[Mana +1]
And the menu's popping up like a damned internet advertisement again. Let's see…I'm saying that a lot, arent' I? Regardless! What does the popup say?
Dungeon core, duh-duhduh duhda, mana twenty-four, mana plus one…mana plus one? Didn't I just have…I think my mana's regenerating. It's only been…I have no idea, I have no sense of time apparently. Joy. Well, my mana's regenerating. Don't know how fast, don't know what triggers it.
A TUTORIAL WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY NICE RIGHT ABOUT NOW!
*Sigh.* I miss school.
…that thought sickens me, and I don't know why. Odd.
I was broken from my train of thought by the creaking of wood, and I turned to see Deadbeard coming down the stairs to the poopdeck. Well, that was quick. Let's see what he's got.
Three dead seagulls, a crab, and a coconut. Well, it's something. I stare at Deadbeard's bounty, the undead skeleton pirate holding his cargo out expectantly. Well, here goes nothing.
I reached out.
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 69/25]
[Seagull Carcass absorbed +10 Mana]
[Seagull Carcass absorbed +10 Mana]
[Seagull Carcass absorbed +10 Mana]
[Crab Carcass absorbed +10 Mana]
[Coconut absorbed +5 Mana]
Oh, I feel ill. Like stuffing your face until you vomit ill. Ooh. Quick, claim the poopdeck! Claim the gundeck!
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 4/35]
[Construction complete. Poopdeck claimed. +5 Mana Capacity]
[Construction complete. Gundeck claimed. +5 Mana Capacity]
Oh, that feels better. And hey, my mana capacity went up. Cool. Except now my mana is almost empty. Shoot. Well, that's easily fixed.
Deadbeard, I commanded, in my best mad scientist voice. Bring me more things to absorb!
Cackling madly as Deadbeard walked off the side of the ship again, I hovered over to the stairs. First, the poopdeck, then; THE WORLD! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
…ahem. 'scuse me.
Getting to the top of the stairs, I looked around. And there's nothing to absorb aside from two planks and a tangle of rope. Well, that's free mana, so, yoink!
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 7/35]
Wow, three whole mana. Wow. Well, there's still the gundeck. Maybe I'll have better luck there.
Of course, there's the question of actually getting down there. Well, I went through the door, maybe I can pass through the deck. Let's see…and down we go. Hooray, it works!
Passing through the deck, I found myself on the gundeck, the area dimly lit by the open gun ports and the fact half the ship was missing.
Looking around, I couldn't help but let out a chuckle.
Heh…heh heh heh…hee heeheehahahahaBWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Look at all the lovely lovely things to absorb!
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 41/35]
[Rusty 6lb Naval Cannon absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Rusty 6lb Naval Cannon absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Barrel of Clumpy Gunpower absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Flaking Cannonball absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Rusty 6lb Naval Cannon absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Rusty 6lb Naval Cannon absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Barrel of Clumpy Gunpower absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Barrel of Clumpy Gunpower absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Rusty 6lb Naval Cannon absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Broken Block and Tackle absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Flaking Cannonball absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Rusting Grapeshot absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Broken Chain absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Burnt Out Carcass Shot absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Rusted Canister absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Shattered Oil Lantern absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Burnt Out Oil Lantern absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Rotten Sponge absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Snapped Ramrod absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Broken Priming Iron absorbed. +1Mana]
[Bent Botefeux absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Rotting Box of Primer. +1 Mana]
Urp. Excuse me. Hurp. Ooh, that ate too much feeling is back. I probably shouldn't have eaten all that at once, but…well, self-control never was a strong point of mine…I think.
Burp.
Ugh. Right let's see what I can do with forty-one mana.
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 41/35]
[Construction*]
[Minions*]
[Traps*]
Ooh, lots of new stuff. Let's click on construction and…no construction available. Go figure. Oh, but I can claim the berth deck for forty mana.
Mmm…later. Right now, I want to see look at the minions. Minions minions minions.
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 41/35]
[Minions]
[Undead]
[Undead Pirate Skeleton: 50 Mana]
[Avians]
[Seagull: 10 Mana]
[Crustaceans]
[Small Crab: 10 Mana]
Ooh, two new categories. Let's take a looksie and…I've got seagulls and I've got crabs.
…that sounds unfortunate for some reason, but I haven't the foggiest idea why.
Anywho…so it looks like seagulls and crabs are only ten mana apiece. Exactly what their corpses netted me. That's awfully convenient, and somewhat suspect I should think. I feel like that's an oversight of some sort.
Whatever, I'm not going to complain. Let's move on to –
[Deadbeard killed.]
What? What!? The hell just happened? Deadbeard died? What the hell?!
HOLY CRAP, SHIT IS GOING DOWN! PANIC! PANIC! No, wait, don't panic, I already did that.
Okay, okay, uh, what do I got? My one minion is dead, and I've got nothing. Shit!
I need minions. No, that won't work. I can't afford another undead skeleton pirate, and when was the last time anyone experienced death by crabs?
Why did I just get the urge to giggle? This is serious!
Minions are useless. Check the traps menu!
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 41/35]
[Traps]
[Pits]
[Pit: 10 Mana]
[Spiked Pit: 15 Mana]
[Snares]
[Counterweight Rope Net: 10 Mana]
[Counterweight Canvas Net: 10 Mana]
[Counterweight Spiked Rope Net: 15 Mana]
[Deadfall]
[Cannon Deadfall: 15 Mana]
[Net Full of Cannonballs: 15 Mana]
[Projectile]
[6Ibs Naval Cannon: 15 Mana]
[-Solid Shot: 5 Mana]
[-Grapeshot: 5 Mana]
Perfect! I can summon at least four traps, two if I go for lethal. It's not much, but it's better than nothing.
Okay, I'll have to be careful with the placement.
Hovering over to the edge of the missing deck, I looked down. Okay, the gundeck is too high for anyone to jump or climb up to it…but the berth deck below is not. Crap. Between that and the collapsed mast and rigging on the poop deck, that's two means of ingress. Not good.
Can I absorb the fallen mast? Well, only one way to find out.
Zipping upwards, I slid through the deck and out into the overcast day. Rushing over to the collapsed mast, I reached out and poked it. It made a rude noise at me.
Damn. Of course I'd have no such luck.
Okay, it's not the end of the world. Let's just go for lethal traps. I'll just have to make sure to choose carefully.
No sooner had I purchased and set my chosen traps did the popups freeze and sputter out, to be replaced by a new popup the ominous shade of freshly spilled blood.
{Alert! Dungeon under attack! Invasion commencing!}
Oh damn. I finished my trap placement just in time.
Floating up through the roof, I exited the cabin to the poopdeck just in time to see three figures drop down from the fallen mast.
The first thing that I noticed was that they were not human. They had a head, and two arms and two legs like a human, but the similarities ended there. Their skin was hard and scaly, rippling over hard muscles in the overcast sun. Their heads were elongated, saurian maws filled with oversized razor fangs and slit yellow eyes glared balefully out from under horned brows. Lithe arms tipped with wickedly clawed fingers grasped at primitive weapons, and long, sinuous tails kept them balanced on digitigrade feet, their sharp talons digging into the sunbleached deck timbers.
They were, in a word, lizardmen. Which would be cool, if I wasn't sure they had killed Deadbeard and were possibly here to do the same to me.
The first lizardman was a lanky brute, his scales a dull green-grey. He was nude save for a loincloth, with designs picked out on his chest in a red paint. He carried a spear, fashioned from a long tree branch and a sharp piece of black rock. A single red feather poked out from the crest of his skull.
The second lizardman was almost identical to the first, save that he was shorter and stockier, and his scales a dark muddy brown. He carried a club, which for all intents and purposes looked to be a gnarled piece of weather worn driftwood with a simple leather wrap as a grip. He too, had a single red feather sprouting from his skull.
The third and final lizardman was different. He was taller than the first, and broader than the second. His scaly skin was a dark blue-green, and short armored scutes like a crocodile's ran down his back and tail. He had several feathers protruding from his skull, and in his hands, he carried a bladed club, fashioned from a plank of wood lined with razor sharp rocks.
I tensed up as the three lizardmen's gazes passed over me, and then I relaxed when their eyes kept going without any indication they saw me. I'm not quite sure how they didn't see me, but I won't complain about it.
Waiting with metaphorical bated breath, I watched the lizardmen approach the railing overlooking the middle deck. Two of them clambered over the bannister and let themselves fall lightly to the deck below, but the third lizardman, the one with the spear, took the stairs.
I watched as the lizardman slowly and carefully descended the stairs. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest somehow as the lizardman stepped onto the deck. The deck splintered, and the lizardman fell. There was a squawk and a sickening squelch, then silence. The lizardman had fallen for my first trap.
Rushing over to the pitfall, the two remaining lizardmen stopped at the edge of the hole and looked down. I knew what they were seeing: the body of their comrade, impaled on a grove of sharpened spikes, his lifeblood soaking into the timbers beneath.
Hissing in rage, the two lizardmen gripped their weapons tight and looked around, before their gazes locked on the door to the cabin. The cabin where my core sat upon an old table. Hissing menacingly, they began to slowly advance on the door, carefully testing each step before committing to it.
Heart in my throat, I zipped down into the cabin. I'd have to trigger my last trap by myself.
Here goes nothing.
As I prepared myself, I could hear the lizardmen slowly getting closer, their talons clacking on the wooden deck. Clack. Clack. Clack. Silence. The doorknob rattled.
The cabin door was thrown open, and I watched as the two lizardmen found themselves face to barrel with the muzzle of a six-pound naval cannon.
Surprise, motherfucker!
*KABOOM!*
For a brief moment, I could see the shock and terror of dawning comprehension on the lizardmen's faces. Then, they were gone, the two intruders reduced to so much chunky salsa by the spread of grapeshot.
[Intruders eliminated. Invasion concluded.]
As the red mist drifted down to stain the deck, I found myself letting out a sigh of relief. I'd done it. I'd won. I somehow felt a grin cross my face as a sense of elation flowed through me.
Hah! Take that! That's what you get for taking on Fort Kickass!
[Name accepted. Name: Fort Kickass set.]
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 25/25 Mana 6/35]
I froze mid celebration, staring at the popup in front of me. Wut? I…how? No! I don't want to be called 'Fort Kickass!' Why popup? Why?
Then, as if to add insult to injury, there was a disturbed warping sound as an undead pirate skeleton rose from the deck before me.
[Deadbeard revived.]
As Deadbeard turned his head to survey the wreck's new red paintjob, all I could do was stare.
What!?
So, minions.
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 23/25]
[Construction*]
[Minions]
[Traps*]
Okay, poke the minions options and…viola…vio…that's not right…
Anyways, minions.
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 23/25]
[Minions]
[Undead]
Well, ain't that a decent amount of variety. Ugh, okay poke undead, and…
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 23/25]
[Minions]
[Undead]
[Undead Skeleton Pirate: 50 Mana]
Seriously? Seriously? Fifty mana for a single skeleton? That's highway robbery! How the heck am I supposed to get a decent amount of minions if they cost so dang much? How did I even summon Deadbeard in the first place? …
Urgh…well, can't do anything about it right now, they cost more than my mana capacity.
Right, let's back out and…huh. What's with these stars next to construction and traps? Let's see, poke 'construction' and…
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 23/25]
[Construction]
[New Construction available]
[Construction unavailable]
[Claim Poopdeck – 30 Mana]
[Claim Gundeck – 35 Mana]
Oh look, new stuff. Let's see … Construction unavailable? THEN WHAT'S THE FRICKEN POINT?!
Ugh, I swear, this damn thing…at least the poopdeck and gundeck are available. But Jiminy Cricket why are they so expensive? Ugh.
I swear to God, if I missed the tutorial on this thing and have to muddle through everything…no? No tutorial popup? Nothing at all?
…
God dammit.
Right, back to muddling. Traps. Let's check traps.
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 23/25]
[Traps]
[Pits]
[Pit: 10 Mana]
[Spiked Pit: 15 Mana]
[Snares]
[Counterweight Rope Net: 10 Mana]
[Counterweight Canvas Net: 10 Mana]
[Counterweight Spiked Rope Net: 15 Mana]
Oh, we have actual options this time. This is looking better already.
And let's see. Pits and snares. Under pits we have ten mana for a basic hole in the ground, fifteen for a hole with spikes at the bottom. Okay, okay, that's … actually not bad. Certainly more obtainable than the fifty points needed for an undead skeleton pirate. Hopefully the snares are just as good and…they are. Ten mana for a counterweight rope or canvas net and fifteen for a counterweight rope net with wooden spikes in the knots. That sounds painful.
…
I'll take it!
…later. First, I need to wait for Deadbeard to get back. I don't want to spend mana willy-nilly, only to find out that Deadbeard…
Why did the sensation of eating a potato chip just go through me?
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 24/25]
[Mana +1]
And the menu's popping up like a damned internet advertisement again. Let's see…I'm saying that a lot, arent' I? Regardless! What does the popup say?
Dungeon core, duh-duhduh duhda, mana twenty-four, mana plus one…mana plus one? Didn't I just have…I think my mana's regenerating. It's only been…I have no idea, I have no sense of time apparently. Joy. Well, my mana's regenerating. Don't know how fast, don't know what triggers it.
A TUTORIAL WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY NICE RIGHT ABOUT NOW!
*Sigh.* I miss school.
…that thought sickens me, and I don't know why. Odd.
I was broken from my train of thought by the creaking of wood, and I turned to see Deadbeard coming down the stairs to the poopdeck. Well, that was quick. Let's see what he's got.
Three dead seagulls, a crab, and a coconut. Well, it's something. I stare at Deadbeard's bounty, the undead skeleton pirate holding his cargo out expectantly. Well, here goes nothing.
I reached out.
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 69/25]
[Seagull Carcass absorbed +10 Mana]
[Seagull Carcass absorbed +10 Mana]
[Seagull Carcass absorbed +10 Mana]
[Crab Carcass absorbed +10 Mana]
[Coconut absorbed +5 Mana]
Oh, I feel ill. Like stuffing your face until you vomit ill. Ooh. Quick, claim the poopdeck! Claim the gundeck!
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 4/35]
[Construction complete. Poopdeck claimed. +5 Mana Capacity]
[Construction complete. Gundeck claimed. +5 Mana Capacity]
Oh, that feels better. And hey, my mana capacity went up. Cool. Except now my mana is almost empty. Shoot. Well, that's easily fixed.
Deadbeard, I commanded, in my best mad scientist voice. Bring me more things to absorb!
Cackling madly as Deadbeard walked off the side of the ship again, I hovered over to the stairs. First, the poopdeck, then; THE WORLD! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
…ahem. 'scuse me.
Getting to the top of the stairs, I looked around. And there's nothing to absorb aside from two planks and a tangle of rope. Well, that's free mana, so, yoink!
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 7/35]
Wow, three whole mana. Wow. Well, there's still the gundeck. Maybe I'll have better luck there.
Of course, there's the question of actually getting down there. Well, I went through the door, maybe I can pass through the deck. Let's see…and down we go. Hooray, it works!
Passing through the deck, I found myself on the gundeck, the area dimly lit by the open gun ports and the fact half the ship was missing.
Looking around, I couldn't help but let out a chuckle.
Heh…heh heh heh…hee heeheehahahahaBWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Look at all the lovely lovely things to absorb!
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 41/35]
[Rusty 6lb Naval Cannon absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Rusty 6lb Naval Cannon absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Barrel of Clumpy Gunpower absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Flaking Cannonball absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Rusty 6lb Naval Cannon absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Rusty 6lb Naval Cannon absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Barrel of Clumpy Gunpower absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Barrel of Clumpy Gunpower absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Rusty 6lb Naval Cannon absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Broken Block and Tackle absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Flaking Cannonball absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Rusting Grapeshot absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Broken Chain absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Burnt Out Carcass Shot absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Rusted Canister absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Shattered Oil Lantern absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Burnt Out Oil Lantern absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Rotten Sponge absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Snapped Ramrod absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Broken Priming Iron absorbed. +1Mana]
[Bent Botefeux absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Rotting Box of Primer. +1 Mana]
Urp. Excuse me. Hurp. Ooh, that ate too much feeling is back. I probably shouldn't have eaten all that at once, but…well, self-control never was a strong point of mine…I think.
Burp.
Ugh. Right let's see what I can do with forty-one mana.
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 41/35]
[Construction*]
[Minions*]
[Traps*]
Ooh, lots of new stuff. Let's click on construction and…no construction available. Go figure. Oh, but I can claim the berth deck for forty mana.
Mmm…later. Right now, I want to see look at the minions. Minions minions minions.
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 41/35]
[Minions]
[Undead]
[Undead Pirate Skeleton: 50 Mana]
[Avians]
[Seagull: 10 Mana]
[Crustaceans]
[Small Crab: 10 Mana]
Ooh, two new categories. Let's take a looksie and…I've got seagulls and I've got crabs.
…that sounds unfortunate for some reason, but I haven't the foggiest idea why.
Anywho…so it looks like seagulls and crabs are only ten mana apiece. Exactly what their corpses netted me. That's awfully convenient, and somewhat suspect I should think. I feel like that's an oversight of some sort.
Whatever, I'm not going to complain. Let's move on to –
[Deadbeard killed.]
What? What!? The hell just happened? Deadbeard died? What the hell?!
HOLY CRAP, SHIT IS GOING DOWN! PANIC! PANIC! No, wait, don't panic, I already did that.
Okay, okay, uh, what do I got? My one minion is dead, and I've got nothing. Shit!
I need minions. No, that won't work. I can't afford another undead skeleton pirate, and when was the last time anyone experienced death by crabs?
Why did I just get the urge to giggle? This is serious!
Minions are useless. Check the traps menu!
[Dungeon Core **** Health 25/25 Mana 41/35]
[Traps]
[Pits]
[Pit: 10 Mana]
[Spiked Pit: 15 Mana]
[Snares]
[Counterweight Rope Net: 10 Mana]
[Counterweight Canvas Net: 10 Mana]
[Counterweight Spiked Rope Net: 15 Mana]
[Deadfall]
[Cannon Deadfall: 15 Mana]
[Net Full of Cannonballs: 15 Mana]
[Projectile]
[6Ibs Naval Cannon: 15 Mana]
[-Solid Shot: 5 Mana]
[-Grapeshot: 5 Mana]
Perfect! I can summon at least four traps, two if I go for lethal. It's not much, but it's better than nothing.
Okay, I'll have to be careful with the placement.
Hovering over to the edge of the missing deck, I looked down. Okay, the gundeck is too high for anyone to jump or climb up to it…but the berth deck below is not. Crap. Between that and the collapsed mast and rigging on the poop deck, that's two means of ingress. Not good.
Can I absorb the fallen mast? Well, only one way to find out.
Zipping upwards, I slid through the deck and out into the overcast day. Rushing over to the collapsed mast, I reached out and poked it. It made a rude noise at me.
Damn. Of course I'd have no such luck.
Okay, it's not the end of the world. Let's just go for lethal traps. I'll just have to make sure to choose carefully.
No sooner had I purchased and set my chosen traps did the popups freeze and sputter out, to be replaced by a new popup the ominous shade of freshly spilled blood.
{Alert! Dungeon under attack! Invasion commencing!}
Oh damn. I finished my trap placement just in time.
Floating up through the roof, I exited the cabin to the poopdeck just in time to see three figures drop down from the fallen mast.
The first thing that I noticed was that they were not human. They had a head, and two arms and two legs like a human, but the similarities ended there. Their skin was hard and scaly, rippling over hard muscles in the overcast sun. Their heads were elongated, saurian maws filled with oversized razor fangs and slit yellow eyes glared balefully out from under horned brows. Lithe arms tipped with wickedly clawed fingers grasped at primitive weapons, and long, sinuous tails kept them balanced on digitigrade feet, their sharp talons digging into the sunbleached deck timbers.
They were, in a word, lizardmen. Which would be cool, if I wasn't sure they had killed Deadbeard and were possibly here to do the same to me.
The first lizardman was a lanky brute, his scales a dull green-grey. He was nude save for a loincloth, with designs picked out on his chest in a red paint. He carried a spear, fashioned from a long tree branch and a sharp piece of black rock. A single red feather poked out from the crest of his skull.
The second lizardman was almost identical to the first, save that he was shorter and stockier, and his scales a dark muddy brown. He carried a club, which for all intents and purposes looked to be a gnarled piece of weather worn driftwood with a simple leather wrap as a grip. He too, had a single red feather sprouting from his skull.
The third and final lizardman was different. He was taller than the first, and broader than the second. His scaly skin was a dark blue-green, and short armored scutes like a crocodile's ran down his back and tail. He had several feathers protruding from his skull, and in his hands, he carried a bladed club, fashioned from a plank of wood lined with razor sharp rocks.
I tensed up as the three lizardmen's gazes passed over me, and then I relaxed when their eyes kept going without any indication they saw me. I'm not quite sure how they didn't see me, but I won't complain about it.
Waiting with metaphorical bated breath, I watched the lizardmen approach the railing overlooking the middle deck. Two of them clambered over the bannister and let themselves fall lightly to the deck below, but the third lizardman, the one with the spear, took the stairs.
I watched as the lizardman slowly and carefully descended the stairs. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest somehow as the lizardman stepped onto the deck. The deck splintered, and the lizardman fell. There was a squawk and a sickening squelch, then silence. The lizardman had fallen for my first trap.
Rushing over to the pitfall, the two remaining lizardmen stopped at the edge of the hole and looked down. I knew what they were seeing: the body of their comrade, impaled on a grove of sharpened spikes, his lifeblood soaking into the timbers beneath.
Hissing in rage, the two lizardmen gripped their weapons tight and looked around, before their gazes locked on the door to the cabin. The cabin where my core sat upon an old table. Hissing menacingly, they began to slowly advance on the door, carefully testing each step before committing to it.
Heart in my throat, I zipped down into the cabin. I'd have to trigger my last trap by myself.
Here goes nothing.
As I prepared myself, I could hear the lizardmen slowly getting closer, their talons clacking on the wooden deck. Clack. Clack. Clack. Silence. The doorknob rattled.
The cabin door was thrown open, and I watched as the two lizardmen found themselves face to barrel with the muzzle of a six-pound naval cannon.
Surprise, motherfucker!
*KABOOM!*
For a brief moment, I could see the shock and terror of dawning comprehension on the lizardmen's faces. Then, they were gone, the two intruders reduced to so much chunky salsa by the spread of grapeshot.
[Intruders eliminated. Invasion concluded.]
As the red mist drifted down to stain the deck, I found myself letting out a sigh of relief. I'd done it. I'd won. I somehow felt a grin cross my face as a sense of elation flowed through me.
Hah! Take that! That's what you get for taking on Fort Kickass!
[Name accepted. Name: Fort Kickass set.]
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 25/25 Mana 6/35]
I froze mid celebration, staring at the popup in front of me. Wut? I…how? No! I don't want to be called 'Fort Kickass!' Why popup? Why?
Then, as if to add insult to injury, there was a disturbed warping sound as an undead pirate skeleton rose from the deck before me.
[Deadbeard revived.]
As Deadbeard turned his head to survey the wreck's new red paintjob, all I could do was stare.
What!?
Last edited:
Feeling Crabby
Guardsman_Sparky
The Clueless Wonder
- Location
- Virginia
I stared at Deadbeard, the recently resurrected undead pirate skeleton staring blankly back at me. What the shit, man? You go off and get killed, then next thing I know I'm getting attacked by lizard people! Christ, the conspiracy theorists would have a field day about this back home, I just knew it. What the shit?
Deadbeard just stood there, still staring at me with his blank, empty sockets. I sighed and waved him off. Oh, whatever. Go off and find me more things to absorb, and don't get killed again! Nodding, Deadbeard started to turn.
Wait. Can you survive underwater?
Pausing, Deadbeard turned back to me and slowly nodded.
Good. Go search past the shoreline. And for God's sake, I commanded. Don't get killed again. I feel it prudent to reiterate that as much as possible.
I watched Deadbeard walk off and flop off the side of the boat again. For the love of…at least underwater he won't be attacked by lizardmen…I hope.
Turning back towards the main deck, I grimaced. Blood, chunks, and splinters everywhere. Let's clean this mess up.
Leaning down, I poked one of the larger chunks of wet meat on the deck, and half the bloodstains and meaty lumps vanished with a wet 'schlorp'ing sound. Weird, but a second poke had the rest of the stains and chunks disappear as well.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 25/25 Mana 107/35]
[Lizardman Paste absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Lizardman Puree absorbed. +50 Mana]
Holy shit. Fifty mana for a single corpse? Bitchin'! Where's number three?
Dropping down through the deck (that too full feeling was back, but I was far too giddy to care), I was met with the grisly sight of the third lizardman's unfortunate demise. I let out a hiss of discomfort at the bloody spike protruding from his crotch. Man, that hurt me just looking at it. I should fix that.
Poking the corpse, it vanished with a schlorp that was somehow wetter and schlorpier than before, leaving me with a whopping total of one hundred fifty-seven mana.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 157/40]
[Perforated Lizardman Corpse absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Invasion Defeated. +5 Health Capacity. +5 Mana Capacity]
Well, that is just fine and dandy, more health and more mana is always wonderful. But why the heck is it happening now? I beat the lizardmen over ten minutes ago. Do…do I have lag? Seriously?
That's just not cricket. Whatever that means.
At any rate, I can do a lot with over a hundred and fifty mana. Let's see, open the menu and, oh hey, I have new minions available. Let's take a looksie~.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 157/40]
[Minions]
[Undead]
[Undead Pirate Skeleton: 50 Mana]
[Avians]
[Seagull: 10 Mana]
[Crustaceans]
[Small Crab: 10 Mana]
[Beast Men]
[Lizardman Scout: 100 Mana]
Holy fucking hell! One hundred mana for a lizardman scout? What the shit? That's…hoo boy, that's way out of my league right now. Though, if capability and mana cost is relative, then it's no wonder three of them were able to take out Deadbeard.
Guess I'm stuck with crabs, gulls, and skeletons. Well, skeletons, really. I mean, seagulls and crabs would in theory make good minions, but they wouldn't really be able to defend me, that's kind of paramount at the moment. Now, if they were bigger and tougher, then…
[Dire Gull Unlocked.]
[Giant Crab Unlocked.]
…well. Okay then. I wish I had a stronger and tougher skeleton minion.
…
No? Nothing, really? …Seriously, is a tutorial too much to ask for?
Ugh, well, let's take a looksie at my new minions.
[Avians]
[Seagull: 10 Mana]
[Dire Gull: 25 Mana]
[Crustaceans]
[Small Crab: 10 Mana]
[Giant Crab: 25 Mana]
Huh, not too shabby. I can easily buy four of those, but, let's start out with one each.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 107/40]
[Dire Gull summoned: - 25 Mana]
[Giant Crab summoned: - 25 Mana]
A whirlwind kicked up in front of me, a cyclone of grey feathers swirling into existence with a piercing cry. Behind me, a geyser burst forth, exploding vigorously out of the deck before collapsing into a slowly growing pile of frothing bubbles.
The whirlwind died down, the feathers vanishing into the ether to reveal the dire gull. I stared, no, I gawked at it. It looked like a seagull, but everything about it was…more. Its wings were longer and beefier, its legs like webbed eagle's talons. It had teeth! And baleful red eyes. But the kicker was, it was the size of a large dog! It's a good thing I don't have ornithophobia, or this thing would be terrifying me.
I'm going to call you…Moa.
Turning around, I was just in time to see the giant crab emerge from its pile of bubbles. It certainly lived up to its name: a mottled green brute the size of a decently large dinner table. Its armored back was certainly flat enough to be used as such. Its six legs were thick, slightly thicker than one would expect on a crab, but not too much so. Two massive claws clacked together in an absent rhythm, both claws easily the size of a man's torso. Finally, two beady eyes the size of grapes stared up at me, froth bubbling slowly from its mouth.
Huh. It's kind of cute. I'm gonna call you Bubbles.
You know what, let's summon two more.
Twin geysers bubbled up from the deck on either side of Bubbles, leaving me with fifty-seven mana. The geysers quickly subsided to reveal two crabs. They looked almost identical to Bubbles, though both were slightly larger and with mottled brown carapaces. Interestingly, both crabs had one claw that was much bigger than the other, though it was not the same claw on both crabs; the right claw was larger for the crab on the right, and the crab on the left had its larger claw on the left. Regardless, both stared at me with beady, grape-sized eyes.
I'm going to call you Dexter, and you Sinister, I declared, first addressing the right-hand crab, then the left-hand crab. The two crabs glanced at each other, then slammed their respective giant claws into the deck with a deafening bang. Well, they're enthusiastic, if nothing else.
Okay, let's get to work. Um… Moa, fly up high, circle the wreck, I commanded. Keep an eye out for intruders. Cawing, Moa spread its wings, and with a skip, hop, and a jump, the dire gull pumped its wings and vanished into the sky.
Dexter, Sinister. The two lopsided crabs looked at me expectantly, claws slightly agape. Head down to the surf, go into the water. Grab anything interesting you find and bring it back. The bigger the better.
Clacking their claws together, the two giant crabs skittered off, each heading towards opposite sides of the ship. Unlike Deadbeard, when they tipped off the edge of the deck, the two crabs kept their footing, crawling crabwise down the sides of the hull.
I found myself staring into the distance as the staccato of chitin on timbers moved down the hull. How is it that a pair of crabs are more intelligent than an undead skeleton? Actually, that kind of makes sense, I guess; the skeleton doesn't have a brain anymore.
Finally, I turned to Bubbles. Bubbles, you're on guard duty. Bubbles stared at me, eyes glistening. You're my final line of defense against intruders, so I'm counting on you.
Truthfully, the six-pounder behind the cabin door was the final line of defense, but that was really more of a final act of desperation deal. If it ever again came down to just me and that cannon against attackers, I was well and truly screwed.
Bubbles stared at me, eyes slowly twitching on stubby eyestalks. Then, something clicked in her little crabby brain, and she spun around in glee, her claws clacking wildly in the air. Positioning herself in front of the cabin door, Bubbles began to sway back and forth, bubbles frothing joyfully from her mouth, claws waving gently in the air.
Well, I'm glad she's happy. She…when did I start thinking of Bubbles as a 'she?' Eh, whatever, she's a she, unless she wants to be a he, in which case, who am I to stop her from being a him?
…
Moving on.
I have fifty-seven mana to work with, let's see what I can do with that. Let's open the construction menu and…no construction available. I don't know why I keep checking. Something something something, sign of insanity. Well, I can claim the berth deck for forty mana. Let's do it. Maybe I'll find something useful down there. And…boop!
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 17/45]
[Berth Deck claimed. Mana Capacity +5]
More mana capacity. Huzzah! Whelp, let's go and take a looksie, shall we? And…down we go! I sank into the deck, leaving Bubbles to her dancing.
Level 2, berthing deck, food court, and sports apparel. Hah, elevator humor. … What's an elevator?
Question for later, let's see what I've got. A decent amount. Not as much as up on the gundeck, but a decent amount. Moving about the berth deck, I began poking and absorbing things.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 40/45]
[Rotting Hammock absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Threadbare Hammock absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Crushed Powder Horn absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Shattered Musket absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Soiled Cotton Shirt absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Broken Flintlock Pistol absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Bent Hunting Knife absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Twisted Bayonet absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Broken Barrel absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Snapped Cutlass absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Shattered Rum Bottle absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Marble absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Flattened Oil Lantern absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Loaf of Moldy Bread absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Tattered Oilskin Tricorn Hat absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Worn Seaboot absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Torn Leather Belt absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Desiccated Oilskin Coat absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Ripped Concertina absorbed. +1 Mana]
Ooh, lots of weapons down here. A bit worrisome, but convenient. But why was a loaf of moldy bread worth five mana when a musket was worth one?
At any rate, let's see what I can do with this space.
My musings were interrupted by a rhythmic clacking on the hull. One of the crabs, back already? I wonder what they got.
Floating up through the deck, I arrived on the middle deck to find Bubbles still dancing happily in place. Next to her stood Dexter, looking very proud of himself. In his left claw was clenched a very ornately carved, albeit very coral encrusted, wooden mermaid figurehead. And in the oversized right claw, flailing vigorously but futilely, was Deadbeard.
Oh how I wish I had a hand and a face to palm it with. Thank you, Dexter, I ground out, doing my best to keep my tone level. Just…drop it on the deck and go get more stuff.
Wriggling happily, Dexter dropped Deadbeard and the figurehead bodily onto the deck and skittered off, vanishing over the edge of the ship. What even is my life?
Absorbing the figurehead netted me a nice five mana, bringing my total up to forty-five. With that out of the way, I turned my attention to Deadbeard. What am I going to do with you?
[Deadbeard – Undead Skeleton Pirate]
[Options]
Of course my minions would have a menu, why wouldn't they? Tutorial! I can't say it enough times; I. Need. A. Tutorial!
Well, let's open the only option I got…cosmetics. Really? What is this, Hat Simulator?
God dammit.
I looked at Bubbles and mentally poked her, and somehow, I got her menu to pop up on the first try.
[Bubbles – Giant Crab]
[Options]
And open up Bubble's options and…that's it? Not even any options for Bubbles? Do only human…humanoids get cosmetics? That's specieist.
Ugh, right, back to Deadbeard and his cosmetics. Only, instead of looking at his menu, I find that his pants have fallen down, due to his rotting rope belt having finally given up the ghost. Dammit, now I have to deal with this? I refuse to have my minions run around naked (animals and mutant animals notwithstanding), but where the hell am I going to get a belt for him?
There was a poof, and a cloud of smoke, and Deadbeard's pants were back up around his hips. Held in place by a thick leather belt with a shiny buckle. One that looked very familiar…but how in the hell does Deadbeard have a pristine version of the belt I absorbed belowdecks?
Cosmetics. Of course. Does that mean I have, or can make copies of anything I absorb? The implications are simultaneously thrilling and terrifying.
Deciding that it was best not to think of such implications, I set about distracting myself by kitting up Deadbeard to the nines. A beige cotton shirt went on over his bare ribcage, tucked into the leather belt. A pair of seaboots covered his feet, making him just a bit taller and giving him better traction. Over his shoulders I settled a brown, knee-length oilskin coat, and finally, topped off the whole ensemble with a brown, oilskin tricorn hat. Although he was missing a sash, Deadbeard looked a right proper pirate captain now.
[Deadbeard promoted -> Pirate Captain Deadbeard]
What? No seriously, what? Promoted? Deadbeard has been promoted? To Pirate…Captain. Seriously? And all it took was giving him a hat? I call bullshit. I call hax. This ride is broken, I'd like to get off please.
My tirade trailed off, and I stared gormlessly as Deadbeard pulled a flintlock pistol from under his coat and gave me a ghoulish grin.
What the hell? Where'd he get a pistol? I didn't give him that!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING!?!
As I was freaking out, I heard a distinct clacking of carapace on wood behind me. Turning around, I was promptly assaulted by thirty-three pounds of angry octopus.
Deadbeard just stood there, still staring at me with his blank, empty sockets. I sighed and waved him off. Oh, whatever. Go off and find me more things to absorb, and don't get killed again! Nodding, Deadbeard started to turn.
Wait. Can you survive underwater?
Pausing, Deadbeard turned back to me and slowly nodded.
Good. Go search past the shoreline. And for God's sake, I commanded. Don't get killed again. I feel it prudent to reiterate that as much as possible.
I watched Deadbeard walk off and flop off the side of the boat again. For the love of…at least underwater he won't be attacked by lizardmen…I hope.
Turning back towards the main deck, I grimaced. Blood, chunks, and splinters everywhere. Let's clean this mess up.
Leaning down, I poked one of the larger chunks of wet meat on the deck, and half the bloodstains and meaty lumps vanished with a wet 'schlorp'ing sound. Weird, but a second poke had the rest of the stains and chunks disappear as well.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 25/25 Mana 107/35]
[Lizardman Paste absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Lizardman Puree absorbed. +50 Mana]
Holy shit. Fifty mana for a single corpse? Bitchin'! Where's number three?
Dropping down through the deck (that too full feeling was back, but I was far too giddy to care), I was met with the grisly sight of the third lizardman's unfortunate demise. I let out a hiss of discomfort at the bloody spike protruding from his crotch. Man, that hurt me just looking at it. I should fix that.
Poking the corpse, it vanished with a schlorp that was somehow wetter and schlorpier than before, leaving me with a whopping total of one hundred fifty-seven mana.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 157/40]
[Perforated Lizardman Corpse absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Invasion Defeated. +5 Health Capacity. +5 Mana Capacity]
Well, that is just fine and dandy, more health and more mana is always wonderful. But why the heck is it happening now? I beat the lizardmen over ten minutes ago. Do…do I have lag? Seriously?
That's just not cricket. Whatever that means.
At any rate, I can do a lot with over a hundred and fifty mana. Let's see, open the menu and, oh hey, I have new minions available. Let's take a looksie~.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 157/40]
[Minions]
[Undead]
[Undead Pirate Skeleton: 50 Mana]
[Avians]
[Seagull: 10 Mana]
[Crustaceans]
[Small Crab: 10 Mana]
[Beast Men]
[Lizardman Scout: 100 Mana]
Holy fucking hell! One hundred mana for a lizardman scout? What the shit? That's…hoo boy, that's way out of my league right now. Though, if capability and mana cost is relative, then it's no wonder three of them were able to take out Deadbeard.
Guess I'm stuck with crabs, gulls, and skeletons. Well, skeletons, really. I mean, seagulls and crabs would in theory make good minions, but they wouldn't really be able to defend me, that's kind of paramount at the moment. Now, if they were bigger and tougher, then…
[Dire Gull Unlocked.]
[Giant Crab Unlocked.]
…well. Okay then. I wish I had a stronger and tougher skeleton minion.
…
No? Nothing, really? …Seriously, is a tutorial too much to ask for?
Ugh, well, let's take a looksie at my new minions.
[Avians]
[Seagull: 10 Mana]
[Dire Gull: 25 Mana]
[Crustaceans]
[Small Crab: 10 Mana]
[Giant Crab: 25 Mana]
Huh, not too shabby. I can easily buy four of those, but, let's start out with one each.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 107/40]
[Dire Gull summoned: - 25 Mana]
[Giant Crab summoned: - 25 Mana]
A whirlwind kicked up in front of me, a cyclone of grey feathers swirling into existence with a piercing cry. Behind me, a geyser burst forth, exploding vigorously out of the deck before collapsing into a slowly growing pile of frothing bubbles.
The whirlwind died down, the feathers vanishing into the ether to reveal the dire gull. I stared, no, I gawked at it. It looked like a seagull, but everything about it was…more. Its wings were longer and beefier, its legs like webbed eagle's talons. It had teeth! And baleful red eyes. But the kicker was, it was the size of a large dog! It's a good thing I don't have ornithophobia, or this thing would be terrifying me.
I'm going to call you…Moa.
Turning around, I was just in time to see the giant crab emerge from its pile of bubbles. It certainly lived up to its name: a mottled green brute the size of a decently large dinner table. Its armored back was certainly flat enough to be used as such. Its six legs were thick, slightly thicker than one would expect on a crab, but not too much so. Two massive claws clacked together in an absent rhythm, both claws easily the size of a man's torso. Finally, two beady eyes the size of grapes stared up at me, froth bubbling slowly from its mouth.
Huh. It's kind of cute. I'm gonna call you Bubbles.
You know what, let's summon two more.
Twin geysers bubbled up from the deck on either side of Bubbles, leaving me with fifty-seven mana. The geysers quickly subsided to reveal two crabs. They looked almost identical to Bubbles, though both were slightly larger and with mottled brown carapaces. Interestingly, both crabs had one claw that was much bigger than the other, though it was not the same claw on both crabs; the right claw was larger for the crab on the right, and the crab on the left had its larger claw on the left. Regardless, both stared at me with beady, grape-sized eyes.
I'm going to call you Dexter, and you Sinister, I declared, first addressing the right-hand crab, then the left-hand crab. The two crabs glanced at each other, then slammed their respective giant claws into the deck with a deafening bang. Well, they're enthusiastic, if nothing else.
Okay, let's get to work. Um… Moa, fly up high, circle the wreck, I commanded. Keep an eye out for intruders. Cawing, Moa spread its wings, and with a skip, hop, and a jump, the dire gull pumped its wings and vanished into the sky.
Dexter, Sinister. The two lopsided crabs looked at me expectantly, claws slightly agape. Head down to the surf, go into the water. Grab anything interesting you find and bring it back. The bigger the better.
Clacking their claws together, the two giant crabs skittered off, each heading towards opposite sides of the ship. Unlike Deadbeard, when they tipped off the edge of the deck, the two crabs kept their footing, crawling crabwise down the sides of the hull.
I found myself staring into the distance as the staccato of chitin on timbers moved down the hull. How is it that a pair of crabs are more intelligent than an undead skeleton? Actually, that kind of makes sense, I guess; the skeleton doesn't have a brain anymore.
Finally, I turned to Bubbles. Bubbles, you're on guard duty. Bubbles stared at me, eyes glistening. You're my final line of defense against intruders, so I'm counting on you.
Truthfully, the six-pounder behind the cabin door was the final line of defense, but that was really more of a final act of desperation deal. If it ever again came down to just me and that cannon against attackers, I was well and truly screwed.
Bubbles stared at me, eyes slowly twitching on stubby eyestalks. Then, something clicked in her little crabby brain, and she spun around in glee, her claws clacking wildly in the air. Positioning herself in front of the cabin door, Bubbles began to sway back and forth, bubbles frothing joyfully from her mouth, claws waving gently in the air.
Well, I'm glad she's happy. She…when did I start thinking of Bubbles as a 'she?' Eh, whatever, she's a she, unless she wants to be a he, in which case, who am I to stop her from being a him?
…
Moving on.
I have fifty-seven mana to work with, let's see what I can do with that. Let's open the construction menu and…no construction available. I don't know why I keep checking. Something something something, sign of insanity. Well, I can claim the berth deck for forty mana. Let's do it. Maybe I'll find something useful down there. And…boop!
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 17/45]
[Berth Deck claimed. Mana Capacity +5]
More mana capacity. Huzzah! Whelp, let's go and take a looksie, shall we? And…down we go! I sank into the deck, leaving Bubbles to her dancing.
Level 2, berthing deck, food court, and sports apparel. Hah, elevator humor. … What's an elevator?
Question for later, let's see what I've got. A decent amount. Not as much as up on the gundeck, but a decent amount. Moving about the berth deck, I began poking and absorbing things.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 40/45]
[Rotting Hammock absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Threadbare Hammock absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Crushed Powder Horn absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Shattered Musket absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Soiled Cotton Shirt absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Broken Flintlock Pistol absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Bent Hunting Knife absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Twisted Bayonet absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Broken Barrel absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Snapped Cutlass absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Shattered Rum Bottle absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Marble absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Flattened Oil Lantern absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Loaf of Moldy Bread absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Tattered Oilskin Tricorn Hat absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Worn Seaboot absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Torn Leather Belt absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Desiccated Oilskin Coat absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Ripped Concertina absorbed. +1 Mana]
Ooh, lots of weapons down here. A bit worrisome, but convenient. But why was a loaf of moldy bread worth five mana when a musket was worth one?
At any rate, let's see what I can do with this space.
My musings were interrupted by a rhythmic clacking on the hull. One of the crabs, back already? I wonder what they got.
Floating up through the deck, I arrived on the middle deck to find Bubbles still dancing happily in place. Next to her stood Dexter, looking very proud of himself. In his left claw was clenched a very ornately carved, albeit very coral encrusted, wooden mermaid figurehead. And in the oversized right claw, flailing vigorously but futilely, was Deadbeard.
Oh how I wish I had a hand and a face to palm it with. Thank you, Dexter, I ground out, doing my best to keep my tone level. Just…drop it on the deck and go get more stuff.
Wriggling happily, Dexter dropped Deadbeard and the figurehead bodily onto the deck and skittered off, vanishing over the edge of the ship. What even is my life?
Absorbing the figurehead netted me a nice five mana, bringing my total up to forty-five. With that out of the way, I turned my attention to Deadbeard. What am I going to do with you?
[Deadbeard – Undead Skeleton Pirate]
[Options]
Of course my minions would have a menu, why wouldn't they? Tutorial! I can't say it enough times; I. Need. A. Tutorial!
Well, let's open the only option I got…cosmetics. Really? What is this, Hat Simulator?
God dammit.
I looked at Bubbles and mentally poked her, and somehow, I got her menu to pop up on the first try.
[Bubbles – Giant Crab]
[Options]
And open up Bubble's options and…that's it? Not even any options for Bubbles? Do only human…humanoids get cosmetics? That's specieist.
Ugh, right, back to Deadbeard and his cosmetics. Only, instead of looking at his menu, I find that his pants have fallen down, due to his rotting rope belt having finally given up the ghost. Dammit, now I have to deal with this? I refuse to have my minions run around naked (animals and mutant animals notwithstanding), but where the hell am I going to get a belt for him?
There was a poof, and a cloud of smoke, and Deadbeard's pants were back up around his hips. Held in place by a thick leather belt with a shiny buckle. One that looked very familiar…but how in the hell does Deadbeard have a pristine version of the belt I absorbed belowdecks?
Cosmetics. Of course. Does that mean I have, or can make copies of anything I absorb? The implications are simultaneously thrilling and terrifying.
Deciding that it was best not to think of such implications, I set about distracting myself by kitting up Deadbeard to the nines. A beige cotton shirt went on over his bare ribcage, tucked into the leather belt. A pair of seaboots covered his feet, making him just a bit taller and giving him better traction. Over his shoulders I settled a brown, knee-length oilskin coat, and finally, topped off the whole ensemble with a brown, oilskin tricorn hat. Although he was missing a sash, Deadbeard looked a right proper pirate captain now.
[Deadbeard promoted -> Pirate Captain Deadbeard]
What? No seriously, what? Promoted? Deadbeard has been promoted? To Pirate…Captain. Seriously? And all it took was giving him a hat? I call bullshit. I call hax. This ride is broken, I'd like to get off please.
My tirade trailed off, and I stared gormlessly as Deadbeard pulled a flintlock pistol from under his coat and gave me a ghoulish grin.
What the hell? Where'd he get a pistol? I didn't give him that!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING!?!
As I was freaking out, I heard a distinct clacking of carapace on wood behind me. Turning around, I was promptly assaulted by thirty-three pounds of angry octopus.
Last edited:
Making an Entrance
Guardsman_Sparky
The Clueless Wonder
- Location
- Virginia
AN: Happy Memorial Day.
Have you ever seen the inside of an angry octopus? Let me tell you, it isn't pretty. All mucus and slime and muscle. And flailing tentacles. Those suction cups are the things of nightmares.
Which was why I was currently screaming.
AGH! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!
I may have, in my panic, momentarily forgotten that I could move…
Thankfully, Bubbles was on the ball, the giant crab rushing forward to my rescue. Clamping down on the flailing cephalopod with one claw, she picked it up and slammed it into the deck a few times before tossing it bodily. In a rather impressive display of dexterity, the ballistic octopus snagged the remains of the middle mast with a tentacle, wrapping around the spar like an angry tetherball. It then proceeded to glare at everyone and hiss angrily.
Did you know that octopi can hiss? Because I did not.
Much calmer now that I was no longer occupying the same space as an angry mollusk, I turned back to see Sinister standing there expectantly. He was looking rather proud of himself, his giant left claw empty while his smaller right claw held a very large anchor.
I turned back to the octopus. It was about…hm, I estimate thirteen feet? Hard to tell, I don't have a tape measure handy and it's wrapped around the mast-stump. Still the head and mantle were easily the size of a regular man. How Sinister managed to catch an octopus of this size and not get killed was beyond me. After all, octopi eat crabs.
Since the octopus seemed disinclined to moving any time soon, I turned my attention back to Sinister. Thank you Sinister, I said, my voice flat. You may go.
Clacking his claws together, Sinister scuttled off, vanishing over the side of the ship. Shaking my head, I turned to Bubbles. Thank you Bubbles, I said sincerely.
Bubbles giddily bounced from side to side, claws clacking as her mouth frothed happily. Then she froze, a single bubble from her mouth floating up before her eyes. Slowly, she reached out with a claw, but the bubble popped as soon as she touched it. She flinched back, but then began to wiggle and gurgle with glee. Scuttling back to the cabin door, she started blowing bubbles, waving her claws joyfully in the air as the bubbles swirled around her, occasionally reaching out and popping one.
Well…I certainly named her aptly. Nice to see she's easily entertained too.
Meanwhile, that octopus is still a mass of seething, hissing hate, so I'm just going to absorb this anchor and go below. One whole mana, okay then.
Deadbeard…keep an eye on that octopus, would you?
Nodding, Deadbeard turned to stare at the livid cephalopod, idly running his bony fingers over his new pistol.
Right, I'm just going to leave. Have fun y'all.
Dropping through the deck, I let myself sink down until I reached the berth deck. And let's see what I can do.
…
Still a whole lot of nothing. There is a new deck to claim, though.
[Claim Orlop Deck: 45 Mana]
Orlop deck…that's the lowest deck, innit? The one with the ropes and the ballast? Well, that will leave me with only one mana, but oh boy, I'd have an entire half a ship, oh boy!
Well, that's enough sarcasm, I think I've hit my quota for the day. Click and claim.
I tried sticking my tongue out at the draining sensation of my mana leaving me, but of course, I don't have a tongue. So, bleah. Not quite as satisfying, but it will have to do.
Down into the orlop deck for a look around.
Once down I did indeed look around. The hull looked sound down here, and the whole deck was significantly deeper than the decks above, though at least half of it was occupied by a layer of ballast, which was in turn covered with sand down at the open end of the wreck. I'm a bit surprised the crushed rock is still here, I'd have thought it would have spilled out when the ship broke up, but whatever.
Not much to absorb down here. There's about half a dozen barrels scattered here and there, partially buried in the ballast and sand, but that's about it. I could absorb the ballast, I think, but I kind of like the aesthetic it gives me, so I think I'll just leave it for now.
So, poking time!
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 31/50]
[Barrel of Hardtack absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Barrel of Salted Beef absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Barrel of Tainted Freshwater absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Barrel of Rotted Limes absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Barrel of Solidified Linseed Oil absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Barrel of Putrefied Animal Fat absorbed. +5 Mana]
I have no idea why these barrels gave me so much mana relative to other things. Still, that's an added thirty mana, and my mana cap went up when I absorbed the orlop deck. What can I do with that? Open menu, and…
Doo-dee-do…oh look! New construction options~. Oh boy, let's take a look! No, I'm not being sarcastic at all. I've already hit my quota, remember?
[Construction]
[Structures]
[Dungeon Entrance: 5 Mana]
Holy shit I can actually build something!
…
I'm speechless.
BUY IT!!!
I slammed the dungeon entrance option, and the earth began to shake. Though I had no body, the instinct to grab something passed through me as I turned to stare out at the small lagoon outside the wreck. Before my very eyes, walls of stone began to rise from the sands, until they stood two stories high. In the center, facing the open decks of the wreck, stood a great wooden gate, framed by two brightly burning torches, like some ancient gateway one would find sealing away a primordial forest.
Floating up to the gate, I couldn't help but gawk a bit. I also couldn't shake the feeling that I'd seen its like before, though this gate, my gate, had erected itself in the shallows of the small lagoon that stretched out before the wreck.
Turning around to gaze at the shipwreck that I'd set up shop in, I noticed that the stone walls seemed to encircle the entire wreck. That seemed a bit convenient, but I wasn't going to complain. It would make it easier to defend, at any rate. The collapsed mast off the poopdeck sort of ruins the effect though. Just goes right over the wall.
I already tried to absorb the damn thing. Can I fix it somehow?
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 26/50]
[Repair Mizzenmast: 25 Mana]
And there's a popup for that. Of course. I really shouldn't be surprised by this, I should have seen it coming, because of course there's a popup for that.
Boop.
And everything is shaking again. Joy. No, wait, it's just the mast.
The mast was shaking violently, almost like…actually, I don't know what it was like. It was shaking. Like a branch in a storm, but stationary. Huh, I guess I did know what it was shaking like.
Then the shaking stopped, and the mast just lifted up in the air. No apparent means of locomotion at all. Just 'fwoop,' up in the air. It began to twist, the splintered spars winding into place with woody pops. The rope cables of the rigging and the canvas sails untangling to hang freely, the mast rotated into place. It sank onto the ragged stump and then melded seamlessly into one piece. Finally, the mast settled into place with a loud creaking of stressing wood, the rigging snaking out, the stays and lines tying themselves off to the superstructure, and then everything was still, only the breaking of waves echoing across the beach.
I'll admit, that was rather disconcerting to watch. Like a bone breaking in reverse. Uh-h-gh. Sent shivers down my disembodied spine. Still, at the same time, it was damned cool to watch.
The gates thumped behind me. I may have jumped a bit from surprise. Turning back around, I was just in time to catch the gates shudder as something on the other side thumped them again. Then again, and again. But then there was silence, uncomfortable, unnerving silence.
Then, the doors swung open, letting in a very perplexed Dexter, who seemed to have gotten himself tangled up in an old fishing net. Scuttling crabwise through the gate, Dexter turned to face the entryway, then scuttled about to face me, his crabby eyes staring at me in utter confusion.
We've done some remodeling, I found myself explaining. So, what you got?
Clacking his claws in delight, his earlier confusion forgotten, Dexter reached into the net draped over his back and started to pull things out. Huh, the big guy figured out how to carry more things at once. Clever boy.
Snipping his claws together in satisfaction, Dexter scurried back, leaving his pile of findings on the sand for me to inspect.
Wow, lots of stuff here. Manmade, too. Did Dexter find a sunken shipwreck? Well, I suppose the other half of my wreck had to go somewhere…if it was the other half of my wreck. It's not like I have a monopoly on shipwrecks. And those sharp, jagged rocks out there in the surf do look rather shipwreck-y. Eh, whatever. Let's start absorbing.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 11/50]
[Tarnished Silver Candelabra absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Two-Legged Stool absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Rusty Marlinspike absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Waterlogged Book absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Fogged Hurricane Lamp absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Broken Hatchet absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Shattered Compass absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Empty Rum Bottle absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Tarnished Bread Knife absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Cracked Ceramic Bowl absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Rotting Flag absorbed. +1 Mana]
As I rummaged through the steadily shrinking pile, I marveled at some of the things Dexter had found. Candleholder, stool missing a leg, a giant needle…huh, so that's what a marlinspike is. Oh boy, a book! …And the ink has run into illegibility. *Sigh* …absorbed. Oil lamp with a weird glass thing on top, hatchet with half the handle missing, a broken compass with a spinning needle, an empty rum bottle…this makes me sad for some reason. A breadknife, one of those saw-toothed dealies, though this one is dulled beyond use, a bowl with a huge crack through it, and a big flag. I don't recognize the heraldry; two green rampant dragons facing each other and superimposed over a pair of crossed downward swords, on a field of crimson. Well, I think it's crimson, but the whole thing was rotting and bleached by the sea, so…yeah.
Hey, there's still something underneath it. Boop.
…
Holy crap. Where the hell did Dexter find an entire suit of plate mail armor?
And it was a suit of full plate mail. Helmet, gorget, pauldrons with attached clam-shell rondels, couters, vambraces, gauntlets, cuirass (back and front) with fauld, tassets, and a culet, mail skirt, cuisses, poleyns, greaves, and sabatons. That's head, neck, shoulders and armpits, elbow, forearm, hands, chest and waist and hips, upper thighs, and buttocks, chainmail shirt to fill the gaps, thigh, knee, shin, and feet. I have no idea how I know that, but there you are.
I circled the prone suit of armor, taking in the details. The suit definitely had a draconic theme to it, scales and claws picked out in copper filigree along the edges of the plates. The helmet in particular really brought the whole theme together, with the two swept back horns on the crown and the drop-down visor fashioned in the shape of a dragon's snarling maw. It must have been quite the sight when brand new, but now the steel was corroded and pitted, the copper tarnished a blue-green, and the leather under suit and straps were rotting.
Strange how it's in such good condition. I'd have thought it would be in worse shape than…that…
I trailed off, staring at the slightly open visor, and the contents within.
There is still a body in this suit. Well, that explains how it's still in one piece. Thank God the skull is completely skeletonized, I don't know what I'd do if I'd found a rotting face staring back at me.
…Probably scream.
Oh man, I almost don't want to absorb this guy. The stories he could tell if he wasn't dead. Oh, how I wish I could learn his story. Ah well, it isn't as if I can bring the dead back to…to…
[Revenant Wilhelm Hackenschpit has accepted a contract.]
Wut?
A disturbed warping sound, not quite what I'd come to associate with Deadbeard resurrecting but close, echoed across the beach. The body jerked, the plate mail clattering as the corpse within stiffened. It began to rise, stiff as a board and engulfed in an eldritch light, pivoting upright on its heels. It came fully upright, then the eldritch glow and sounds vanished, and the armor sagged forward.
For a moment, I thought the armored body would fall back over, only for it to shift its feet and arrest the imminent fall. Slowly, hesitantly, the gauntlets came up, stopping at chest height, the fingers slowly clenching and unclenching. Then, the head rose, revealing the darkness behind the dragon's maw visor and the two burning points within.
I stared. The two will-o-wisps stared back.
Finally, the other party spoke, a cultured, Teutonic voice echoing from within the depths of the helmet. "Vell…zhis is interesting."
Uh…hello? Oh, that sounds intelligent. First social activity in I don't know how long, and I'm already flubbing it. Actually…how long have I been out here on this beach? Who are you?
"I," the possibly haunted armor replied with a stately bow. "Am Sir Wilhelm Hackenschpit, loyal knight of zhe Kingdom of Draconia." The knight paused, straightening up and holding a hand up at head height. He stared at it, twisting the appendage back and forth. "Vell, I vas, until I came down vith a sudden case of death. How odd zhen, zhat I find myself cured of such."
I'll be honest, I haven't the foggiest what's going on, I stated. Really, I just live here and poke the boxes that pop up.
A loud crashing, banging, and generally cacophonous racket kicked off above us, making both of us jump in surprise at the suddenness of it all. We looked up, the sounds somehow becoming more and more ludicrous. I know for a fact we don't have any elephants on board, so what the hell?
I looked at Wilhelm, trying to hike a thumb over my shoulder before remembering I didn't have either. Um, excuse me, I have to go take care of that.
Wilhelm looked at me, looked up, then back at me. He lifted a finger. "I'll just vait here, zhen."
Bobbing in acknowledgement (because while I can't see it, apparently there's something here that people can see floating about), I turned around, coming face to face with Dexter. It took me a moment to realize it, but he'd been trying to hide behind me. Trying to hide from Wilhelm. Oh, grow up.
Floating around the giant crab, I entered the wreck and willed myself upwards. Passing through timbers and open air, I came to the main deck and looked around.
Well, whatever I was expecting when I came up here, it wasn't this. Bubbles is cowering by the cabin, belly against the deck, legs curled up, and doing her damnedest to hide behind her claws. Deadbeard is crawling around by the railing, feeling about for his head, which is resting on its side on the opposite side of the ship. Meanwhile, the very angry octopus is…where is the octopus?
A very angry hissing drew my sight to the great rend that had torn the wreck in half, where the very angry octopus lay, bunched up and looking at me with very angry look that promised pain. Then, it bunched up, and like a coiled spring, flung itself over the side. There was a moment of silence, then a distant splash and the clatter of metal on metal. Hovering over to the splintered end of the deck, I could see ripples on the lagoon within the walls, while Dexter did his damnedest to hide behind Wilhelm, the armored knight's flailing speaking of his taking exception to being held in the giant crab's claws as a human shield.
All I could do was sigh.
I swear to God, I feel like a babysitter around here. You turn around for five minutes and everything is on fire.
Oh God, I just tempted fate, didn't I?
Have you ever seen the inside of an angry octopus? Let me tell you, it isn't pretty. All mucus and slime and muscle. And flailing tentacles. Those suction cups are the things of nightmares.
Which was why I was currently screaming.
AGH! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!
I may have, in my panic, momentarily forgotten that I could move…
Thankfully, Bubbles was on the ball, the giant crab rushing forward to my rescue. Clamping down on the flailing cephalopod with one claw, she picked it up and slammed it into the deck a few times before tossing it bodily. In a rather impressive display of dexterity, the ballistic octopus snagged the remains of the middle mast with a tentacle, wrapping around the spar like an angry tetherball. It then proceeded to glare at everyone and hiss angrily.
Did you know that octopi can hiss? Because I did not.
Much calmer now that I was no longer occupying the same space as an angry mollusk, I turned back to see Sinister standing there expectantly. He was looking rather proud of himself, his giant left claw empty while his smaller right claw held a very large anchor.
I turned back to the octopus. It was about…hm, I estimate thirteen feet? Hard to tell, I don't have a tape measure handy and it's wrapped around the mast-stump. Still the head and mantle were easily the size of a regular man. How Sinister managed to catch an octopus of this size and not get killed was beyond me. After all, octopi eat crabs.
Since the octopus seemed disinclined to moving any time soon, I turned my attention back to Sinister. Thank you Sinister, I said, my voice flat. You may go.
Clacking his claws together, Sinister scuttled off, vanishing over the side of the ship. Shaking my head, I turned to Bubbles. Thank you Bubbles, I said sincerely.
Bubbles giddily bounced from side to side, claws clacking as her mouth frothed happily. Then she froze, a single bubble from her mouth floating up before her eyes. Slowly, she reached out with a claw, but the bubble popped as soon as she touched it. She flinched back, but then began to wiggle and gurgle with glee. Scuttling back to the cabin door, she started blowing bubbles, waving her claws joyfully in the air as the bubbles swirled around her, occasionally reaching out and popping one.
Well…I certainly named her aptly. Nice to see she's easily entertained too.
Meanwhile, that octopus is still a mass of seething, hissing hate, so I'm just going to absorb this anchor and go below. One whole mana, okay then.
Deadbeard…keep an eye on that octopus, would you?
Nodding, Deadbeard turned to stare at the livid cephalopod, idly running his bony fingers over his new pistol.
Right, I'm just going to leave. Have fun y'all.
Dropping through the deck, I let myself sink down until I reached the berth deck. And let's see what I can do.
…
Still a whole lot of nothing. There is a new deck to claim, though.
[Claim Orlop Deck: 45 Mana]
Orlop deck…that's the lowest deck, innit? The one with the ropes and the ballast? Well, that will leave me with only one mana, but oh boy, I'd have an entire half a ship, oh boy!
Well, that's enough sarcasm, I think I've hit my quota for the day. Click and claim.
I tried sticking my tongue out at the draining sensation of my mana leaving me, but of course, I don't have a tongue. So, bleah. Not quite as satisfying, but it will have to do.
Down into the orlop deck for a look around.
Once down I did indeed look around. The hull looked sound down here, and the whole deck was significantly deeper than the decks above, though at least half of it was occupied by a layer of ballast, which was in turn covered with sand down at the open end of the wreck. I'm a bit surprised the crushed rock is still here, I'd have thought it would have spilled out when the ship broke up, but whatever.
Not much to absorb down here. There's about half a dozen barrels scattered here and there, partially buried in the ballast and sand, but that's about it. I could absorb the ballast, I think, but I kind of like the aesthetic it gives me, so I think I'll just leave it for now.
So, poking time!
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 31/50]
[Barrel of Hardtack absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Barrel of Salted Beef absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Barrel of Tainted Freshwater absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Barrel of Rotted Limes absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Barrel of Solidified Linseed Oil absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Barrel of Putrefied Animal Fat absorbed. +5 Mana]
I have no idea why these barrels gave me so much mana relative to other things. Still, that's an added thirty mana, and my mana cap went up when I absorbed the orlop deck. What can I do with that? Open menu, and…
Doo-dee-do…oh look! New construction options~. Oh boy, let's take a look! No, I'm not being sarcastic at all. I've already hit my quota, remember?
[Construction]
[Structures]
[Dungeon Entrance: 5 Mana]
Holy shit I can actually build something!
…
I'm speechless.
BUY IT!!!
I slammed the dungeon entrance option, and the earth began to shake. Though I had no body, the instinct to grab something passed through me as I turned to stare out at the small lagoon outside the wreck. Before my very eyes, walls of stone began to rise from the sands, until they stood two stories high. In the center, facing the open decks of the wreck, stood a great wooden gate, framed by two brightly burning torches, like some ancient gateway one would find sealing away a primordial forest.
Floating up to the gate, I couldn't help but gawk a bit. I also couldn't shake the feeling that I'd seen its like before, though this gate, my gate, had erected itself in the shallows of the small lagoon that stretched out before the wreck.
Turning around to gaze at the shipwreck that I'd set up shop in, I noticed that the stone walls seemed to encircle the entire wreck. That seemed a bit convenient, but I wasn't going to complain. It would make it easier to defend, at any rate. The collapsed mast off the poopdeck sort of ruins the effect though. Just goes right over the wall.
I already tried to absorb the damn thing. Can I fix it somehow?
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 26/50]
[Repair Mizzenmast: 25 Mana]
And there's a popup for that. Of course. I really shouldn't be surprised by this, I should have seen it coming, because of course there's a popup for that.
Boop.
And everything is shaking again. Joy. No, wait, it's just the mast.
The mast was shaking violently, almost like…actually, I don't know what it was like. It was shaking. Like a branch in a storm, but stationary. Huh, I guess I did know what it was shaking like.
Then the shaking stopped, and the mast just lifted up in the air. No apparent means of locomotion at all. Just 'fwoop,' up in the air. It began to twist, the splintered spars winding into place with woody pops. The rope cables of the rigging and the canvas sails untangling to hang freely, the mast rotated into place. It sank onto the ragged stump and then melded seamlessly into one piece. Finally, the mast settled into place with a loud creaking of stressing wood, the rigging snaking out, the stays and lines tying themselves off to the superstructure, and then everything was still, only the breaking of waves echoing across the beach.
I'll admit, that was rather disconcerting to watch. Like a bone breaking in reverse. Uh-h-gh. Sent shivers down my disembodied spine. Still, at the same time, it was damned cool to watch.
The gates thumped behind me. I may have jumped a bit from surprise. Turning back around, I was just in time to catch the gates shudder as something on the other side thumped them again. Then again, and again. But then there was silence, uncomfortable, unnerving silence.
Then, the doors swung open, letting in a very perplexed Dexter, who seemed to have gotten himself tangled up in an old fishing net. Scuttling crabwise through the gate, Dexter turned to face the entryway, then scuttled about to face me, his crabby eyes staring at me in utter confusion.
We've done some remodeling, I found myself explaining. So, what you got?
Clacking his claws in delight, his earlier confusion forgotten, Dexter reached into the net draped over his back and started to pull things out. Huh, the big guy figured out how to carry more things at once. Clever boy.
Snipping his claws together in satisfaction, Dexter scurried back, leaving his pile of findings on the sand for me to inspect.
Wow, lots of stuff here. Manmade, too. Did Dexter find a sunken shipwreck? Well, I suppose the other half of my wreck had to go somewhere…if it was the other half of my wreck. It's not like I have a monopoly on shipwrecks. And those sharp, jagged rocks out there in the surf do look rather shipwreck-y. Eh, whatever. Let's start absorbing.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 11/50]
[Tarnished Silver Candelabra absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Two-Legged Stool absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Rusty Marlinspike absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Waterlogged Book absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Fogged Hurricane Lamp absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Broken Hatchet absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Shattered Compass absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Empty Rum Bottle absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Tarnished Bread Knife absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Cracked Ceramic Bowl absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Rotting Flag absorbed. +1 Mana]
As I rummaged through the steadily shrinking pile, I marveled at some of the things Dexter had found. Candleholder, stool missing a leg, a giant needle…huh, so that's what a marlinspike is. Oh boy, a book! …And the ink has run into illegibility. *Sigh* …absorbed. Oil lamp with a weird glass thing on top, hatchet with half the handle missing, a broken compass with a spinning needle, an empty rum bottle…this makes me sad for some reason. A breadknife, one of those saw-toothed dealies, though this one is dulled beyond use, a bowl with a huge crack through it, and a big flag. I don't recognize the heraldry; two green rampant dragons facing each other and superimposed over a pair of crossed downward swords, on a field of crimson. Well, I think it's crimson, but the whole thing was rotting and bleached by the sea, so…yeah.
Hey, there's still something underneath it. Boop.
…
Holy crap. Where the hell did Dexter find an entire suit of plate mail armor?
And it was a suit of full plate mail. Helmet, gorget, pauldrons with attached clam-shell rondels, couters, vambraces, gauntlets, cuirass (back and front) with fauld, tassets, and a culet, mail skirt, cuisses, poleyns, greaves, and sabatons. That's head, neck, shoulders and armpits, elbow, forearm, hands, chest and waist and hips, upper thighs, and buttocks, chainmail shirt to fill the gaps, thigh, knee, shin, and feet. I have no idea how I know that, but there you are.
I circled the prone suit of armor, taking in the details. The suit definitely had a draconic theme to it, scales and claws picked out in copper filigree along the edges of the plates. The helmet in particular really brought the whole theme together, with the two swept back horns on the crown and the drop-down visor fashioned in the shape of a dragon's snarling maw. It must have been quite the sight when brand new, but now the steel was corroded and pitted, the copper tarnished a blue-green, and the leather under suit and straps were rotting.
Strange how it's in such good condition. I'd have thought it would be in worse shape than…that…
I trailed off, staring at the slightly open visor, and the contents within.
There is still a body in this suit. Well, that explains how it's still in one piece. Thank God the skull is completely skeletonized, I don't know what I'd do if I'd found a rotting face staring back at me.
…Probably scream.
Oh man, I almost don't want to absorb this guy. The stories he could tell if he wasn't dead. Oh, how I wish I could learn his story. Ah well, it isn't as if I can bring the dead back to…to…
[Revenant Wilhelm Hackenschpit has accepted a contract.]
Wut?
A disturbed warping sound, not quite what I'd come to associate with Deadbeard resurrecting but close, echoed across the beach. The body jerked, the plate mail clattering as the corpse within stiffened. It began to rise, stiff as a board and engulfed in an eldritch light, pivoting upright on its heels. It came fully upright, then the eldritch glow and sounds vanished, and the armor sagged forward.
For a moment, I thought the armored body would fall back over, only for it to shift its feet and arrest the imminent fall. Slowly, hesitantly, the gauntlets came up, stopping at chest height, the fingers slowly clenching and unclenching. Then, the head rose, revealing the darkness behind the dragon's maw visor and the two burning points within.
I stared. The two will-o-wisps stared back.
Finally, the other party spoke, a cultured, Teutonic voice echoing from within the depths of the helmet. "Vell…zhis is interesting."
Uh…hello? Oh, that sounds intelligent. First social activity in I don't know how long, and I'm already flubbing it. Actually…how long have I been out here on this beach? Who are you?
"I," the possibly haunted armor replied with a stately bow. "Am Sir Wilhelm Hackenschpit, loyal knight of zhe Kingdom of Draconia." The knight paused, straightening up and holding a hand up at head height. He stared at it, twisting the appendage back and forth. "Vell, I vas, until I came down vith a sudden case of death. How odd zhen, zhat I find myself cured of such."
I'll be honest, I haven't the foggiest what's going on, I stated. Really, I just live here and poke the boxes that pop up.
A loud crashing, banging, and generally cacophonous racket kicked off above us, making both of us jump in surprise at the suddenness of it all. We looked up, the sounds somehow becoming more and more ludicrous. I know for a fact we don't have any elephants on board, so what the hell?
I looked at Wilhelm, trying to hike a thumb over my shoulder before remembering I didn't have either. Um, excuse me, I have to go take care of that.
Wilhelm looked at me, looked up, then back at me. He lifted a finger. "I'll just vait here, zhen."
Bobbing in acknowledgement (because while I can't see it, apparently there's something here that people can see floating about), I turned around, coming face to face with Dexter. It took me a moment to realize it, but he'd been trying to hide behind me. Trying to hide from Wilhelm. Oh, grow up.
Floating around the giant crab, I entered the wreck and willed myself upwards. Passing through timbers and open air, I came to the main deck and looked around.
Well, whatever I was expecting when I came up here, it wasn't this. Bubbles is cowering by the cabin, belly against the deck, legs curled up, and doing her damnedest to hide behind her claws. Deadbeard is crawling around by the railing, feeling about for his head, which is resting on its side on the opposite side of the ship. Meanwhile, the very angry octopus is…where is the octopus?
A very angry hissing drew my sight to the great rend that had torn the wreck in half, where the very angry octopus lay, bunched up and looking at me with very angry look that promised pain. Then, it bunched up, and like a coiled spring, flung itself over the side. There was a moment of silence, then a distant splash and the clatter of metal on metal. Hovering over to the splintered end of the deck, I could see ripples on the lagoon within the walls, while Dexter did his damnedest to hide behind Wilhelm, the armored knight's flailing speaking of his taking exception to being held in the giant crab's claws as a human shield.
All I could do was sigh.
I swear to God, I feel like a babysitter around here. You turn around for five minutes and everything is on fire.
Oh God, I just tempted fate, didn't I?
Last edited:
Up Your Arsenal
Guardsman_Sparky
The Clueless Wonder
- Location
- Virginia
"So, zhis is a dungeon core," Wilhelm muttered, staring closely into the fiery core of my…core. Where before, my core was simply shining, it was now burning with a golden, aethereal flame. "I've heard zhe stories, but I've never seen one before."
I was gritting my teeth, or as close as I could get without actually having teeth, at the sight of the revenant bending over to inspect my core. I was just a mess of contradicting instincts; on the one hand, I somehow trusted him almost completely, yet at the same time, something in the back of my ghostly head was screaming all the horrible things he could potentially do to my exposed core. Apparently, I have anxieties, isn't that something?
I hovered over to float by Wilhelm's shoulder. What kind of stories?
"Tales of king making and of king breaking. Tales of wonder and tales of horror. Tales of heroes and villains." Wilhelm looked at me, his burning eyes gazing at me through the corner of his visor. "Zhe kind legends are made of."
Well, that's all sorts of helpful.
Wilhelm stood straight, tucking his hands behind his back. "You are not vhat I expected," he said finally, head turning to the side, one hand coming to rest on the cannon I'd shoved aside (somehow) to let the revenant knight into the cabin. "It is said zhat to enter a dungeon is to court death, and yet, you only have two traps, three crabs, and a skeleton pirate who cannot even best an octopus."
I also have a giant seagull.
The revenant knight stared at me. "Ah, yes, a feathered rat. Zhat will definitely strike fear into your enemies."
I stared at Wilhelm, unamused. Hey, I can do without the sarcasm. I'm doing my best.
Wilhelm paused, taking a deep breath. "Apologies," he said, sincerely apologetic. "Vhen I died, it was vith the knowledge zhat I had failed in my duty. But, now that death is no longer so terminal…" He took another deep breath and let it out. "Bah, but enough vith such maudlin thoughts. Vhat are your plans?"
I tried pursing my lips. To be honest, I haven't the foggiest. I've mostly been reacting to things as they come.
The revenant grumbled, staring at me in contemplation. "I see. Vell, far be it from me to tell you vhat to do. But," he clarified. "If I may suggest, perhaps you should look into increasing your defenses. I feel exposed, and it only makes it vorse zhat I do not have a good blade by my side." Clicking his heels together, Wilhelm brought his fist to his chest in a salute. "By your leave." Turning smartly on his heels, the revenant marched to the door, deftly opening it outward with hardly a break in his stride. "To zhink I'd miss my days as a squire in zhe armory…"
If I had arms, I'd be crossing them in thought right about now. Wilhelm was right, I did need more defenses. Those lizardmen that attacked me were far too…not industrialized, but well-organized, to have been on their own. Their weapons were not the crude things of isolated survivors, instead boasting a sophistication that spoke of a primitive support structure, at the very least.
Actually, what happened to those weapons? I don't remember absorbing them.
Regardless, I still need defenses. Cleaning up that mess on the main deck took long enough that I regenerated enough mana to buy a couple of traps.
Although…I can't get that last thing Wilhelm was muttering about out of my head. An armory. That might be useful. At the moment, I have to manually reload my cannons…well, cannon…which costs me five mana each time. I wonder if…would building an armory mitigate that cost?
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 33/50]
[Construction]
[Terrain]
[Raise Terrain]
[Lower Terrain]
[Add Water]
[Remove Water]
[Wooden Construction]
[Construct Wooden Wall: 1 Mana]
[Construct Wooden Door: 1 Mana]
[Construct Canvas Awning: 5 Mana]
[Construct Guard Tower: 20 Mana]
[Construct Small Armory: 20 Mana]
[Construct Small Storeroom: 15 Mana]
[Objects]
[Oil Lantern: 1 Mana]
[Hurricane Lamp: 1 Mana]
[Table: 1 Mana]
[Bookcase: 1 Mana]
[Bed: 2 Mana]
[Hammock: 1 Mana]
[Stool: 1 Mana]
Holy cow, this thing really kicked off since I bought the entrance. Terrain, wooden construction, and objects. Lots of things I can purchase. Some of these things, I have no idea why I couldn't make or purchase them earlier. Other things do make sense, because there's not much point in being able to effect terrain when there's no terrain to effect. Still, the rest makes no sense.
…I think I'm missing something.
…
Meh. I'll figure it out later.
Okay, let's do the armory. It might be foolish to make one before I beef up my defenses, but I think it will work out in the long run.
But where to put it. Think, think, think…
The gundeck seems an obvious place. It's open, gun ports have been cut all along the hull, so I'll definitely be putting more cannons in here at some point, and it's in a centralized location.
The berth deck is another place, but there's a lot of walls there, and really, it's easier to go down than it is to go up.
So, gundeck it is.
Letting myself sink into the deck, I popped out from the ceiling in the gundeck. I'm right underneath the main cabin. Hmm, the hull is solid, I think I'll tuck the armory in back here. And…buy.
The ship shook, wood warping and groaning macabrely. Wooden planks grew out of the floor and the roof, flowing together until they formed a wall. Part of that wall rippled, twisting and distorting to form a set of doors similar to the ones leading into the cabin above deck. Finally, a pair of oil lamps sprouted from the wall on either side of the doors, twin flames flickering into existence as the shaking slowed. The ship stood still.
Well, that was a production. Is that shaking going to happen every time I build something? God, I hope not, I have a feeling that'd get annoying fast.
So, I have an armory. Only, it's…empty. Hmm…does the armory have its own menu?
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 13/50]
[Armory]
[Furnishings]
[Empty Barrel: 1 Mana]
[Workbench: 1 Mana]
[Small Table: 1 Mana]
[Weapons Cabinet: 1 Mana]
[Weaponry]
[Pirate Cutlass: 20 Mana]
[Bayonet: 15 Mana]
[Steel Hunting Knife: 15 Mana]
[Steel Hatchet: 15 Mana]
[Ebony Macahuitl: 10 Mana]
[Obsidian Spear: 10 Mana]
[Ebony Club: 10 Mana]
[Flintlock Pistol: 20 Mana]
[Flintlock Musket: 25 Mana]
[Ammunition]
[Box of Primer: 15 Mana]
[Barrel of Gunpowder: 15 Mana]
[Pile of Cannonballs: 15 Mana]
[Pile of Grapeshot: 15 Mana]
[Ramrod: 5 Mana]
[Sponge: 5 Mana]
[Priming Iron: 5 Mana]
[Botefeux: 5 Mana]
[Sack of Musket Balls: 10 Mana]
[Powder Horn: 10 Mana]
Wow, that is quite the selection. Three categories; furnishings, weapons, ammo…huh, I have the lizardmen's weapons listed under weapons. I must have absorbed them with their bodies. Weird that the popups never said anything about it. Ugh, but the weapons are expensive. It makes sense, they'd probably make my minions (those that could use them, at least) stronger, let them hit harder.
Pity I don't have enough mana to actually do what I wanted, setting things up for the cannons to be reloaded manually. Well, I can always furnish the place while waiting for Dexter or Sinister to get back.
Let's see…let's get…two workbenches, set those in the corners. What if I put an empty barrel here, against the back hull between the two…oh, I like that look. Plus, I can keep things in there. Maybe spears. Ooh, a table, I need a table, pop one out and…small, round, half the size of the workbenches, let's stick it at the end of the portside workbench. Yes, I think that's a good spot for it. Umm…cabinets, let's get…three, I'll arrange them around the mizzenmast here. Good, good.
Okay, that was seven mana spent, leaving me with six. You know, I like the way this armory is turning out. I just need to get enough mana for the cannon stuff and I'll be just fine and dandy.
I was distracted by footsteps outside the door. The doorknob rattled, and the narrow twin doors opened to admit Wilhelm's armored form. The revenant looked around, taking in the unfinished armory before his fiery gaze locked onto my aethereal form. For a moment, he was silent, but then he took a steadying breath. "It's one zhing to hear zhe stories of how dungeons make zhe earth quake, it's anozher to experience it for oneself."
Yeah, sorry about that, I apologized. I had no idea that was going to happen.
"Quite alright," Wilhelm assured. "Just, give us some warning next time? Deadbeard lost his head again, quite literally."
Whoops. I'll be sure to do so.
Wilhelm nodded, then looked closely at the furnishings. "Is zhis an armory?"
Yeah, I replied, somewhat surprised. How'd you know?
The revenant gestured at the room. "I spent most my time as a squire in zhe armory. I should hope I can recognize one, even if it is only at zhe most rudimentary level."
Oh yeah, he'd muttered something about that earlier. Any suggestions then?
Looking about, Wilhelm shook his head. "Nein. You'll need tools, supplies to maintain your veapons, but, you don't really have zhe space for anything else."
Ah, well, we're out of luck for tools at the moment. I sighed. Well, thank you.
"Mein pleasure," Wilhelm nodded politely. "Vhen you get zhe armory stocked, let me know? As I said earlier, I feel naked vithout a good blade at my side."
This coming from the man in full plate mail armor. Sure, I'll be sure to let you know.
Wilhelm sketched a quick bow. "Danke." He paused, his head tilting to one side as a distant thumping echoed through the ship. "Ah, sounds like one of your crabs has returned."
So it would seem, I agreed. I'll see you later, then.
Floating down through the floor, I made my way down to the orlop deck and proceeded out of the deck. Even though the sun had come up and was beating down on the sands, I didn't have to wait for my vision to adjust. One of the few pleasant things I'd found about being incorporeal.
I was halfway across the sand when the gates opened, letting in Sinister carrying a…
Jesus Christ, Sinister! I stopped dead in my tracks, staring gormlessly at the giant crab and its cargo. Where the hell did you get a great white shark?
Sinister didn't answer of course. He just proudly presented the dead shark to me, holding it out in front of him in his claws. For my part, all I could do was stare at the behemoth fish.
The thing was huge. It was the epitome of needing a bigger boat; it barely fit through the gates in the first place. It was at least thirty feet long if it was an inch, and its mouth was easily large enough to swallow a man whole.
Jesus Christ, how the hell did Sinister manage to kill this thing? Seriously, I didn't even think they grew to that size, yet here one is, all mangled and cut to hell by Sinister. My giant crab isn't even scratched…actually, no, now that I look closely, there is a set of scratches in his upper shell that looks disturbingly like bite marks.
Sighing, I reached out and poked the dead fish.
[Baby Megalodon absorbed. +100 Mana]
…
Eep.
Oh my. Oh my my my. Aiyaiyaiyaiyai…
Well, it's a good thing I don't wear pants anymore, because I'm sure that I would have soiled them.
Fffffffffff…
Okay, keep it together old boy. Keep it together. It's just an extinct, not-so-extinct sea monster your crab brought you, no need to freak out.
Th-ank you Sinister. Huh, my voice cracked. How does that work?
Wriggling in joy, Sinister clacked his claws together and scuttled away, the gates swinging shut behind him.
Slowly, I turned, only to stop as I caught a glimpse of the very angry octopus floating in the bit of lagoon within the walls. Never have I seen a mollusk so shell shocked. When it noticed me looking at it, it didn't even hiss. It just slowly sank under the water's surface, a haunted look in its eyes.
I feel you, my angry cephalopod friend. I feel you. Oy. Just what kind of monster have I created?
Well, that was a lot of mana to get from a baby. Oh God, the adults must be terrifying.
In a bit of a daze, I wandered back into the shipwreck. Let's…let's just go finish up with the armory, before I freak out and go catatonic.
---
And two barrels of gunpowder, one box of primer, a pile of cannonballs, and the various implements needed to load a cannon, and my armory is nearly complete, leaving me with twenty-six mana to work with. You know, it's really therapeutic to decorate. I've almost forgot what I was freaking out about.
…and now I've gone and thought about it. Aaaaaaaah. Existential terror!
Okay, the moment's passed. Hopefully that won't happen again.
…
Oh, who am I kidding, of course it will. Probably at the most inopportune time as well.
Any-hoodles, I still need to actually stock the armory…it's kind of just a room with cabinets and barrels…and explosive gunpowder. For my cannons. Actually, wouldn't that make it a ship's magazine?
Either way, I still need to throw some weapons in there. But, I think that can wait until later, when I have the mana to spare. For now, I think I should focus on traps. First things first, I need to move my spike pit, put it in a better spot. It's not really going to do anything where it is right now.
Hmm, where to put it? The beach maybe. If it can be moved…I hope it can be moved. I should check on that.
Floating upwards, I passed up into the cabin, and then floated out onto the deck. Ooh, I never reset the hole. That…that could have ended badly for someone. Okay…right…let's just poke the hole, and…
[Spike Pit Trap]
[Reset: 5 Mana]
[Reposition: 5 Mana]
Oh good, I can reposition it. It'll just cost me five mana.
I wonder if repositioning it will reset it? Well, either way, I can afford five mana. Pick reposition, and…
…
I am holding a hole. I am holding a hole in my aethereal hands. It is flat and floppy, and pitch black. It's like something out of a cartoon, only if you look at it head on, you can see a bunch of spikes in the depths that don't actually exist. God this is trippy.
I don't want to look at this anymore. Down to the beach we go. I paused right before I started to pass through the deck. Actually, let's take the stairs. I don't want to pass through the floor and find out I accidentally set the trap in the wrong spot.
Doot-de-doo, going down the stairs, doot-de-doo, this is taking longer than just going through the floor, doot-de-doo, and we're here.
Okay, where to put this hole, this hole that bends physics over the table and violates it. Dry. Without foreplay. Doesn't even leave a phone number and my mind has gone to some very dark places, so let's stick a knife in that train of thought and leave it for dead.
Where to put the hole? Um…here, smack between the wreck and the gate, next to the lagoon and this puddle. Boop and place.
…oh shit, I hope it doesn't fill with water.
…
Good news, it is not. That's a relief.
A harsh, but muffled screech pierced the air, and I looked up just in time to catch a winged figure silhouetted against the sun. A moment later, Moa landed on the sand before me, a black arrow with green fletching and an obsidian head clenched in the dire gull's toothed beak.
Flipping the arrow into the air, Moa neatly caught it in his beak by the fletching. With deft movements of his neck, the dire gull began to draw in the sand,
What are those, stick figures with tails? Okay, tailed stick figures and…what is that? A triangle with one curved side and a line sticking out from it…which is now in a box. Oh look, the stick figures have spears and…
…
Oh shit.
I was gritting my teeth, or as close as I could get without actually having teeth, at the sight of the revenant bending over to inspect my core. I was just a mess of contradicting instincts; on the one hand, I somehow trusted him almost completely, yet at the same time, something in the back of my ghostly head was screaming all the horrible things he could potentially do to my exposed core. Apparently, I have anxieties, isn't that something?
I hovered over to float by Wilhelm's shoulder. What kind of stories?
"Tales of king making and of king breaking. Tales of wonder and tales of horror. Tales of heroes and villains." Wilhelm looked at me, his burning eyes gazing at me through the corner of his visor. "Zhe kind legends are made of."
Well, that's all sorts of helpful.
Wilhelm stood straight, tucking his hands behind his back. "You are not vhat I expected," he said finally, head turning to the side, one hand coming to rest on the cannon I'd shoved aside (somehow) to let the revenant knight into the cabin. "It is said zhat to enter a dungeon is to court death, and yet, you only have two traps, three crabs, and a skeleton pirate who cannot even best an octopus."
I also have a giant seagull.
The revenant knight stared at me. "Ah, yes, a feathered rat. Zhat will definitely strike fear into your enemies."
I stared at Wilhelm, unamused. Hey, I can do without the sarcasm. I'm doing my best.
Wilhelm paused, taking a deep breath. "Apologies," he said, sincerely apologetic. "Vhen I died, it was vith the knowledge zhat I had failed in my duty. But, now that death is no longer so terminal…" He took another deep breath and let it out. "Bah, but enough vith such maudlin thoughts. Vhat are your plans?"
I tried pursing my lips. To be honest, I haven't the foggiest. I've mostly been reacting to things as they come.
The revenant grumbled, staring at me in contemplation. "I see. Vell, far be it from me to tell you vhat to do. But," he clarified. "If I may suggest, perhaps you should look into increasing your defenses. I feel exposed, and it only makes it vorse zhat I do not have a good blade by my side." Clicking his heels together, Wilhelm brought his fist to his chest in a salute. "By your leave." Turning smartly on his heels, the revenant marched to the door, deftly opening it outward with hardly a break in his stride. "To zhink I'd miss my days as a squire in zhe armory…"
If I had arms, I'd be crossing them in thought right about now. Wilhelm was right, I did need more defenses. Those lizardmen that attacked me were far too…not industrialized, but well-organized, to have been on their own. Their weapons were not the crude things of isolated survivors, instead boasting a sophistication that spoke of a primitive support structure, at the very least.
Actually, what happened to those weapons? I don't remember absorbing them.
Regardless, I still need defenses. Cleaning up that mess on the main deck took long enough that I regenerated enough mana to buy a couple of traps.
Although…I can't get that last thing Wilhelm was muttering about out of my head. An armory. That might be useful. At the moment, I have to manually reload my cannons…well, cannon…which costs me five mana each time. I wonder if…would building an armory mitigate that cost?
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 33/50]
[Construction]
[Terrain]
[Raise Terrain]
[Lower Terrain]
[Add Water]
[Remove Water]
[Wooden Construction]
[Construct Wooden Wall: 1 Mana]
[Construct Wooden Door: 1 Mana]
[Construct Canvas Awning: 5 Mana]
[Construct Guard Tower: 20 Mana]
[Construct Small Armory: 20 Mana]
[Construct Small Storeroom: 15 Mana]
[Objects]
[Oil Lantern: 1 Mana]
[Hurricane Lamp: 1 Mana]
[Table: 1 Mana]
[Bookcase: 1 Mana]
[Bed: 2 Mana]
[Hammock: 1 Mana]
[Stool: 1 Mana]
Holy cow, this thing really kicked off since I bought the entrance. Terrain, wooden construction, and objects. Lots of things I can purchase. Some of these things, I have no idea why I couldn't make or purchase them earlier. Other things do make sense, because there's not much point in being able to effect terrain when there's no terrain to effect. Still, the rest makes no sense.
…I think I'm missing something.
…
Meh. I'll figure it out later.
Okay, let's do the armory. It might be foolish to make one before I beef up my defenses, but I think it will work out in the long run.
But where to put it. Think, think, think…
The gundeck seems an obvious place. It's open, gun ports have been cut all along the hull, so I'll definitely be putting more cannons in here at some point, and it's in a centralized location.
The berth deck is another place, but there's a lot of walls there, and really, it's easier to go down than it is to go up.
So, gundeck it is.
Letting myself sink into the deck, I popped out from the ceiling in the gundeck. I'm right underneath the main cabin. Hmm, the hull is solid, I think I'll tuck the armory in back here. And…buy.
The ship shook, wood warping and groaning macabrely. Wooden planks grew out of the floor and the roof, flowing together until they formed a wall. Part of that wall rippled, twisting and distorting to form a set of doors similar to the ones leading into the cabin above deck. Finally, a pair of oil lamps sprouted from the wall on either side of the doors, twin flames flickering into existence as the shaking slowed. The ship stood still.
Well, that was a production. Is that shaking going to happen every time I build something? God, I hope not, I have a feeling that'd get annoying fast.
So, I have an armory. Only, it's…empty. Hmm…does the armory have its own menu?
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 13/50]
[Armory]
[Furnishings]
[Empty Barrel: 1 Mana]
[Workbench: 1 Mana]
[Small Table: 1 Mana]
[Weapons Cabinet: 1 Mana]
[Weaponry]
[Pirate Cutlass: 20 Mana]
[Bayonet: 15 Mana]
[Steel Hunting Knife: 15 Mana]
[Steel Hatchet: 15 Mana]
[Ebony Macahuitl: 10 Mana]
[Obsidian Spear: 10 Mana]
[Ebony Club: 10 Mana]
[Flintlock Pistol: 20 Mana]
[Flintlock Musket: 25 Mana]
[Ammunition]
[Box of Primer: 15 Mana]
[Barrel of Gunpowder: 15 Mana]
[Pile of Cannonballs: 15 Mana]
[Pile of Grapeshot: 15 Mana]
[Ramrod: 5 Mana]
[Sponge: 5 Mana]
[Priming Iron: 5 Mana]
[Botefeux: 5 Mana]
[Sack of Musket Balls: 10 Mana]
[Powder Horn: 10 Mana]
Wow, that is quite the selection. Three categories; furnishings, weapons, ammo…huh, I have the lizardmen's weapons listed under weapons. I must have absorbed them with their bodies. Weird that the popups never said anything about it. Ugh, but the weapons are expensive. It makes sense, they'd probably make my minions (those that could use them, at least) stronger, let them hit harder.
Pity I don't have enough mana to actually do what I wanted, setting things up for the cannons to be reloaded manually. Well, I can always furnish the place while waiting for Dexter or Sinister to get back.
Let's see…let's get…two workbenches, set those in the corners. What if I put an empty barrel here, against the back hull between the two…oh, I like that look. Plus, I can keep things in there. Maybe spears. Ooh, a table, I need a table, pop one out and…small, round, half the size of the workbenches, let's stick it at the end of the portside workbench. Yes, I think that's a good spot for it. Umm…cabinets, let's get…three, I'll arrange them around the mizzenmast here. Good, good.
Okay, that was seven mana spent, leaving me with six. You know, I like the way this armory is turning out. I just need to get enough mana for the cannon stuff and I'll be just fine and dandy.
I was distracted by footsteps outside the door. The doorknob rattled, and the narrow twin doors opened to admit Wilhelm's armored form. The revenant looked around, taking in the unfinished armory before his fiery gaze locked onto my aethereal form. For a moment, he was silent, but then he took a steadying breath. "It's one zhing to hear zhe stories of how dungeons make zhe earth quake, it's anozher to experience it for oneself."
Yeah, sorry about that, I apologized. I had no idea that was going to happen.
"Quite alright," Wilhelm assured. "Just, give us some warning next time? Deadbeard lost his head again, quite literally."
Whoops. I'll be sure to do so.
Wilhelm nodded, then looked closely at the furnishings. "Is zhis an armory?"
Yeah, I replied, somewhat surprised. How'd you know?
The revenant gestured at the room. "I spent most my time as a squire in zhe armory. I should hope I can recognize one, even if it is only at zhe most rudimentary level."
Oh yeah, he'd muttered something about that earlier. Any suggestions then?
Looking about, Wilhelm shook his head. "Nein. You'll need tools, supplies to maintain your veapons, but, you don't really have zhe space for anything else."
Ah, well, we're out of luck for tools at the moment. I sighed. Well, thank you.
"Mein pleasure," Wilhelm nodded politely. "Vhen you get zhe armory stocked, let me know? As I said earlier, I feel naked vithout a good blade at my side."
This coming from the man in full plate mail armor. Sure, I'll be sure to let you know.
Wilhelm sketched a quick bow. "Danke." He paused, his head tilting to one side as a distant thumping echoed through the ship. "Ah, sounds like one of your crabs has returned."
So it would seem, I agreed. I'll see you later, then.
Floating down through the floor, I made my way down to the orlop deck and proceeded out of the deck. Even though the sun had come up and was beating down on the sands, I didn't have to wait for my vision to adjust. One of the few pleasant things I'd found about being incorporeal.
I was halfway across the sand when the gates opened, letting in Sinister carrying a…
Jesus Christ, Sinister! I stopped dead in my tracks, staring gormlessly at the giant crab and its cargo. Where the hell did you get a great white shark?
Sinister didn't answer of course. He just proudly presented the dead shark to me, holding it out in front of him in his claws. For my part, all I could do was stare at the behemoth fish.
The thing was huge. It was the epitome of needing a bigger boat; it barely fit through the gates in the first place. It was at least thirty feet long if it was an inch, and its mouth was easily large enough to swallow a man whole.
Jesus Christ, how the hell did Sinister manage to kill this thing? Seriously, I didn't even think they grew to that size, yet here one is, all mangled and cut to hell by Sinister. My giant crab isn't even scratched…actually, no, now that I look closely, there is a set of scratches in his upper shell that looks disturbingly like bite marks.
Sighing, I reached out and poked the dead fish.
[Baby Megalodon absorbed. +100 Mana]
…
Eep.
Oh my. Oh my my my. Aiyaiyaiyaiyai…
Well, it's a good thing I don't wear pants anymore, because I'm sure that I would have soiled them.
Fffffffffff…
Okay, keep it together old boy. Keep it together. It's just an extinct, not-so-extinct sea monster your crab brought you, no need to freak out.
Th-ank you Sinister. Huh, my voice cracked. How does that work?
Wriggling in joy, Sinister clacked his claws together and scuttled away, the gates swinging shut behind him.
Slowly, I turned, only to stop as I caught a glimpse of the very angry octopus floating in the bit of lagoon within the walls. Never have I seen a mollusk so shell shocked. When it noticed me looking at it, it didn't even hiss. It just slowly sank under the water's surface, a haunted look in its eyes.
I feel you, my angry cephalopod friend. I feel you. Oy. Just what kind of monster have I created?
Well, that was a lot of mana to get from a baby. Oh God, the adults must be terrifying.
In a bit of a daze, I wandered back into the shipwreck. Let's…let's just go finish up with the armory, before I freak out and go catatonic.
---
And two barrels of gunpowder, one box of primer, a pile of cannonballs, and the various implements needed to load a cannon, and my armory is nearly complete, leaving me with twenty-six mana to work with. You know, it's really therapeutic to decorate. I've almost forgot what I was freaking out about.
…and now I've gone and thought about it. Aaaaaaaah. Existential terror!
Okay, the moment's passed. Hopefully that won't happen again.
…
Oh, who am I kidding, of course it will. Probably at the most inopportune time as well.
Any-hoodles, I still need to actually stock the armory…it's kind of just a room with cabinets and barrels…and explosive gunpowder. For my cannons. Actually, wouldn't that make it a ship's magazine?
Either way, I still need to throw some weapons in there. But, I think that can wait until later, when I have the mana to spare. For now, I think I should focus on traps. First things first, I need to move my spike pit, put it in a better spot. It's not really going to do anything where it is right now.
Hmm, where to put it? The beach maybe. If it can be moved…I hope it can be moved. I should check on that.
Floating upwards, I passed up into the cabin, and then floated out onto the deck. Ooh, I never reset the hole. That…that could have ended badly for someone. Okay…right…let's just poke the hole, and…
[Spike Pit Trap]
[Reset: 5 Mana]
[Reposition: 5 Mana]
Oh good, I can reposition it. It'll just cost me five mana.
I wonder if repositioning it will reset it? Well, either way, I can afford five mana. Pick reposition, and…
…
I am holding a hole. I am holding a hole in my aethereal hands. It is flat and floppy, and pitch black. It's like something out of a cartoon, only if you look at it head on, you can see a bunch of spikes in the depths that don't actually exist. God this is trippy.
I don't want to look at this anymore. Down to the beach we go. I paused right before I started to pass through the deck. Actually, let's take the stairs. I don't want to pass through the floor and find out I accidentally set the trap in the wrong spot.
Doot-de-doo, going down the stairs, doot-de-doo, this is taking longer than just going through the floor, doot-de-doo, and we're here.
Okay, where to put this hole, this hole that bends physics over the table and violates it. Dry. Without foreplay. Doesn't even leave a phone number and my mind has gone to some very dark places, so let's stick a knife in that train of thought and leave it for dead.
Where to put the hole? Um…here, smack between the wreck and the gate, next to the lagoon and this puddle. Boop and place.
…oh shit, I hope it doesn't fill with water.
…
Good news, it is not. That's a relief.
A harsh, but muffled screech pierced the air, and I looked up just in time to catch a winged figure silhouetted against the sun. A moment later, Moa landed on the sand before me, a black arrow with green fletching and an obsidian head clenched in the dire gull's toothed beak.
Flipping the arrow into the air, Moa neatly caught it in his beak by the fletching. With deft movements of his neck, the dire gull began to draw in the sand,
What are those, stick figures with tails? Okay, tailed stick figures and…what is that? A triangle with one curved side and a line sticking out from it…which is now in a box. Oh look, the stick figures have spears and…
…
Oh shit.
Last edited:
Blood in the Water
Guardsman_Sparky
The Clueless Wonder
- Location
- Virginia
WILHELM! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!
Wilhelm looked up from the botefeux in his hands as I burst through the wall of the armory. "Oh, Dungeon Core? Vhat's wrong?"
I came to an instant stop in pure defiance of physics and the laws of motion. We've got lizardmen incoming!
"Lizardmench," Wilhelm exclaimed in surprise. "Vhere? How many? How much time do ve have?"
I don't know! Moa didn't say.
"Moa?" the revenant questioned, putting the botefeux back in the barrel with the other cannon instruments. "Who is Moa?"
Moa's my dire gull.
Though I couldn't see it, I had the distinct impression that Wilhelm was cocking an eyebrow. "Your bird can talk?"
What? No. He drew pictures in the sand. I shook myself. Is this really the time?
Wilhelm shook his head. "Nein. Nein, you are right." Taking a breath, the revenant clenched his fists and then let them relax. "I shall need a veapon."
What kind?
"A sword," Wilhelm stated, bringing his hands up to shoulder height and holding them apart. "Preferably so long, straight, two edges, and vith a hand and a half grip."
I stared at the revenant for a moment. I've got cutlasses and macahuitls.
The undead knight stared at me. "Vhat's a…maca-hoo-ittle?"
It's sort of a flat, bladed club? I explained. It's almost like a sword.
"Ah, verdammt," Wilhelm uttered. "Nein, that vill not do. Perhaps if I had time to acquaint myself vith one, but nein." He sighed. "Do you perhaps have any polearms? Halberd, pike, glaive, spear, lance?"
I brightened up. I've got spears.
Wilhelm nodded decisively. "Zhat vill suffice."
Ten mana later and Wilhelm snatched the obsidian spear out of the air as it materialized. Gripping the shaft by the middle, he held it out horizontally. A moment later, he began to twirl the polearm. Up, down, around and round, it was moving so quickly I was having difficulty keeping up, yet despite the cramped conditions the weapon never touched anything but air. Then it stopped, just as suddenly as it began, spear held out horizontally in one hand.
"Ja, zhis vill do," Wilhelm declared. Shouldering the spear, the revenant turned to face me. "Vhere do you vant me?"
That's a good question. Where did I want the knight? I have vague memories of last stands, of the few against the many. Some were defeated, some were victorious, for a certain definition of the word. Trying to remember more than that just made my head hurt, however impossible that may be. But, one thing I did remember, was the value of a chokepoint.
Downstairs, berth deck, I decided in a burst of headache-banishing inspiration. Guard the stairs up, they'll have to come at you one at a time.
Wilhelm nodded in agreement. "A good plan. Even a small force can defend from a superior force when funneled properly."
Great. I sent Moa back up to watch the lizardmen and give us a last-minute warning. I'll let you know when the attack's coming. With that, I floated up through the gundeck and into the cabin.
Passing through the wall out into the open air of the main deck, I looked at Bubbles and Deadbeard. Bubbles, Deadbeard, we've got a bunch of lizardmen coming to attack us.
The two minions reacted rather well to the news, Bubbles throwing her claws up in the air in surprise while Deadbeard drew pistol and cutlass with a dry rattle of his bones. Ugh, that sound.
Bubbles, I commanded, forcing my discomfort to the side. Keep guarding the door. Kill anything that tries to get past you. Bubbles clacked her claws together, sidling back until her carapace was just shy of touching the door. She gurgled in determination, bubbles frothing from her mouth.
Deadbeard, I continued, turning to the undead pirate skeleton. Head down to the gundeck. Anybody gets past Wilhelm, blow them away.
Deadbeard tucked away his pistol and saluted, the skeleton's fleshless palm facing away from me, before bolting for the stairs. He vanished into the depths of the wreck, leaving me alone with my thoughts and a determinedly bubbling crab.
Okay, I had eleven, no, make that twelve mana to work with. Okay…what to do with it? I could set a non-lethal trap, somewhere it would assist one of my minions. Or, I could wait for Dexter or Sinister to get back, and hope they brought something with decent mana to absorb.
There was a loud wooden thud from down below at the lagoon. Hovering over to the edge of the wreck, I saw Dexter scuttling in through the gate, his fishing net bulging with items.
Huh. Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
Hovering off the edge of the wreck, I plummeted down. Stopping just off the sandy ground, I zipped over to Dexter, the crab already unloading his catch onto the beach by the lagoon. The gentle crab saw me coming and started to wave at me with his little claw.
Dexter, we've got lizardmen on the warpath. Drop everything and hide in the lagoon, I ordered. I want you to pull any lizardmen that get too close underwater and keep them there.
Ideally, I'd prefer to have Sinister hide in wait. That crab is…I'd say he's not human, but, well, crab. I have no clue where he is right now though, so Dexter will have to do.
Sketching a salute (which was rather good for a giant crab), Dexter dropped the last items out of his net and scuttled out the gate. Pausing in the shallows of the lagoon outside, the giant crab looked around before deciding on a place to hide.
They say that no plan survives contact with the enemy. Well, I for one was not expecting the flaming boulder that came out of nowhere and clobbered poor Dexter.
[Dexter was squashed by a flaming boulder]
Dexter, no!
From the top of the cliff echoed a long, hollow note, a low sound that carried across the sands. Naturally, I turned to see what was making that noise.
Atop the cliff, now that the skies were sunny and clear, the tops of tropical trees were visible. As was the row of angry looking lizardmen. A rather large specimen with an impressive fringe of feathers stood in the center, lowering a conch shell from his mouth.
Jiminy Cricket! Why didn't Moa warn me they were so close?!?
[Moa was shot by an arrow]
Oh. Well that's just typical.
Another flaming boulder flew overhead, landing with a deafening thud somewhere behind the walls. Tracing the faint smoke trail left behind, I visually followed it until my phantasmal eyes locked onto the form of an absolutely gargantuan lizardman, who was easily twice the size of any three lizardmen up on that cliff. How in the hell did I not notice that beast earlier?
Thankfully, it would seem he was out of boulders to throw. Unfortunately, it would seem he's gone and graduated to throwing logs. One such log promptly javelined into the sand right next to me, settling at an angle like some sort of demented wind-blasted tree-trunk…which technically I suppose it was.
Their leader, he of the magnificent crest, brought the conch shell back to his mouth and blew. Two menacing notes thrummed across the beach, one low, one high, sending chills down my non-existent spine. As the last echoes of the horn vanished from the beach, the lizardmen surged forward, crawling down the sheer cliff face in a rapid decent.
Oh shit! BATTLE STATIONS!
I don't know if anyone heard that, but it had to be said. Crap, I need to absorb this pile and throw up some last-minute defenses!
Poke! Poke poke poke!
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 227/50]
[Small Barracuda absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Sea Star absorbed. +10 Mana]
[Saltwater Piranha absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Brain Coral absorbed. +10 Mana]
[Rocky Scorpionfish absorbed. +25 Mana]
[Corroded Swivel Gun absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Young Dogfish absorbed. +25 Mana]
[Radiant Sunfish absorbed. +20 Mana]
[Purple Sea Star absorbed. +10 Mana]
[Staghorn Coral absorbed. +10 Mana]
[Blue Coral Skeleton Piece absorbed. +10 Mana]
[Stingray absorbed. +15 Mana]
[Barnacle Encrusted Sextant absorbed. +6 Mana]
[Uprooted Anemone absorbed. + 5 Mana]
[Small Eel absorbed. +10 Mana]
[Broken Globe Base absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Tarnished Bell Clapper absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Marble Hand absorbed. +1 Mana]
Lots of fish this time, and a few random, but handy things. Agh! Not the time for puns!
Okay, okay…um…
A sickening crash exploded behind me as a log slammed into the hull of my shipwreck, lodging somewhere around the gundeck. I found myself screaming at the giant lizardman atop the cliff.
Quit putting holes in my ship! It's already got enough of that going on!
How much time do I have? Oh crap, they're almost at the bottom of the cliff. Oh dear. Oh my.
Okay, let's see…I'll make a cannon, set it in front of the ship facing the gate, and summon a minion to man it…actually, let's make that two minions. I recall that cannons needed their own crew to operate them.
I…crap, I don't have enough space, the base of the main mast is in the way. Maybe if I had a larger courtyard…thing, it'd work, but as it is, the cannon'd get overrun after one shot. Shit!
Wait, wait…can I move the stairs? No, no I cannot, it's making the rude noise at me. …What if I build a wall?
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 216/50]
[Walls Purchased: -11 Mana]
I can build a wall! Giggling in nervous glee, I threw up an L-shaped wall down the center of the orlop deck, putting the stairs at the end of a hooked corridor rather than out in the open.
From there, I slapped down a wooden platform across the top of the ballast for an additional six mana and then summoned a cannon and placed it on the platform facing the open end of the wreck. I have naval cannons, not field guns, after all. Now for the gun crew.
[Undead Pirate Skeleton summoned. -50 Mana]
[Undead Pirate Skeleton summoned. -50 Mana]
With the disturbed warping I'd come to associate with the spawning of undead, two skeletons crawled up out of the ballast. Like Deadbeard had been when first summoned, these two undead pirate skeletons were dressed in rags, though unlike Deadbeard, they wore faded blue-striped white shirts and their skulls were uncovered. They were also unarmed, worryingly.
I looked at the two skeletons. They looked identical at first glance, but upon closer inspection, one was skinny and the other was of stocky build.
You are Murtogg, I addressed the skinny skeleton. And you are Mullroy, I named the stocky skeleton. We're about to be attacked, so man this cannon and let none pass.
The two skeletons stared at me, then at the cannon, then back at me before Murtogg shrugged helplessly.
What were they…? Oh, right. Yes, yes, instruments. Give me a moment.
Concentrating, I summoned the instruments already in the armory, the devices clattering to the platform next to the cannon. Wait, how did I…? Not the time, figure it out later. Concentrating again, I summoned several cannonballs and gunpowder charges from the armory, piling them up on the other side of the cannon. For good measure I also bought a pile of grapeshot canisters and put them next to the solid shot.
Okay, that leaves me with…seventy-six mana. Right, let's drop some lethal traps around here, that should slow the lizardmen down for the cannon. Open the traps!
[Traps]
[Pits]
[Pit: 10 Mana]
[Spiked Pit: 15 Mana]
[Piranha Pit: 20 Mana]
[Snares]
[Counterweight Rope Net: 10 Mana]
[Counterweight Canvas Net: 10 Mana]
[Counterweight Spiked Rope Net: 15 Mana]
[Deadfall]
[Cannon Deadfall: 15 Mana]
[Net Full of Cannonballs: 15 Mana]
[Projectile]
[6Ibs Naval Cannon: 15 Mana]
[-Solid Shot: 5 Mana]
[-Grapeshot: 5 Mana]
Right going to focus on pits and snares, and…hey, I have a new pit trap. Piranha pits…Oh that's evil. I'm gonna do it.
The piranha pits are a bit pricy, twenty mana a pop, but I think it will be worth it, a combination of lethal and non-lethal trap: if you get out in time, you'll live, but you'll be slowed down by the pain of innumerous bites taken out of you, but if you don't get out in time, well, it was nice knowing you. Of course, that assumes these are the stereotypical voracious flesh-eaters of the movies (what's a movie?) and not the skittish scavengers of real life.
I plopped down two piranha pits, two round, chest-deep holes suddenly sinking into the sand and filling to the brim with water before a thin layer of sand formed over it. On a whim, I slapped a third piranha pit down onto one of the two puddles within my walls and was pleasantly surprised when the trap spread to encompass the entire body of water. Convenient.
Finally, I threw down another spike pit for good measure, leaving me with a whopping one mana.
There. Anybody who comes through that gate is going to have a bad time.
…
Oh shit. What if they can climb over the walls?
Well, too late to worry about that now. Here they come.
I could hear the thrumming of talons on sand approaching the walls outside. I cringed, the shifting of sands replaced with the scrabbling of claws on stone. For a long moment, I held my metaphorical breath, but the feared sight of lizardmen heads cresting the top of the wall never materialized. I somehow let out a breath of relief as the scrabbling of claw and stone stopped.
Moments later, the pounding of feet on sand began to travel around the wall towards the gate. I felt the urge to swallow nervously. Here it was, the moment of truth. And here I was, unable to do anything about it.
I hated it. That feeling of helplessness, of only being able to watch. It burned at me.
The gates opened.
{Invasion Commencing.}
To my surprise, it wasn't my forces that got first blood. The first lizardman through the gate, an intimidating specimen with intricately painted black scales and a massive two-handed macahuitl, was equally surprised, as a thick tentacle wrapped around his ankle and dragged him into the depths of the lagoon.
Huh. I'd forgotten about the very angry octopus. I'll have to thank him for that. Maybe a large fish or something. Of course, I'll have to survive first.
The rest of the lizardmen were funneling in through the gates when the cannon fired. A single cannonball plowed through the mass of scaled bodies, and I watched the carnage unfold almost as if in slow motion.
The first lizardman to encounter the cannonball was lucky; he only lost the top half of his spear. Those behind him were not so lucky. The cannonball took the next lizardman in the chest, and the creature's torso simply imploded as the shot passed through him. The lizardman behind him ragdolled, body twisting in impossible ways as the cannonball obliterated his shoulder, throwing him into several other lizardmen in the process. Another lizardman simply lost a hand, coming to a stop and staring stupidly at the suddenly handless stump pulsing spurts of crimson blood. One last lizardman was felled by the cannonball, his headless body running several steps before finally realizing it was dead, leaving his compatriots covered in skull fragments and brain matter.
Then the moment passed, time sped up, and a spray of sand and water exploded down the beach.
I'll be honest, the sight of it made me feel somewhat ill. The lizardmen seemed to be fairing no better, the survivors slowing down in shock. However, they quickly rallied and charged forward, hissing angrily.
My heart leapt into my throat as the lizardmen thundered forward unmolested. Then they hit the traps.
Two lizardmen fell into the first spike pit, one breaking through the thin layer of sand, the other too close to avoid disaster. The rest of the lizardmen surged around the gaping hole, jumping the gap or simply going around. Then they hit the second spike trap and the first piranha pit at the same time. They lost three lizardmen that time, one to the spikes, the other two flailing and screaming in dismay as they fell into water that swiftly began to foam and turn red. They went under and surfaced, flailing wildly before going under once more. They did not resurface.
I grimaced. Two of my piranha traps were untouched. I'd placed the hole too far south of the gate, and I'd chosen the wrong puddle; I should have placed it in the puddle right in front of the wreck, not the one a bit further north.
Still, the traps had served their purpose I reflected as I moved back into the orlop deck. The lizardmen were slowed, forced to slow down and move around to avoid the exposed pits. Just enough for Mullroy and Murtogg to reload the cannon. Hopefully they'd loaded grapeshot…what are those two doing?
To my dismay, the two skeletons manning the cannon were not reloading, but were instead charging the lizardmen armed only with a ramrod and a wad-screw with sponges on the ends. While they were able to enthusiastically club a pair of lizardmen senseless, they were quickly impaled on several spears before several arrows sprouted from their skulls. The two skeletons went limp and fell apart.
[Mullroy was shafted.]
[Murtogg got the point.]
Oh God dammit. Groaning in dismay and exasperation, I floated up through the floor and hovered over to Wilhelm.
They're coming, I warned. Idiots on the cannon tried to fight hand to hand instead of reloading.
Wilhelm grunted in acknowledgement, shifting his feet apart and lowering the tip of his spear as the sounds of talons on wood drew closer. The tension grew, becoming almost palpable. Then, the first lizardman poked his head up the stairs.
To watch Wilhelm fight was like watching the world's deadliest dance. That first lizardman was only two steps up when his skull was caved-in by the spear butt slamming between his eyes. The next lizardman, scrambling over the cooling corpse of his comrade, was stabbed through the throat and fell back with a gurgle. Three more lizardmen were killed in similar fashion, Wilhelm striking with a speed and precision that bordered on superhuman. Then one lizardman took the spear through his eye, and disaster struck as the spear shattered from the force of the thrust.
Wilhelm quickly recovered, but a lizardman was able to take advantage of the opening provided, lunging forward with his own spear. The primitive polearm skittered across the revenant's armor, only to catch on a spot of corrosion and punch through the small hole already there, biting deep into the knight's side.
Grunting in pain, Wilhelm wrapped an arm around the spear, locking it in place before driving the shattered but sharp remains of his spear up into the bottom of the lizardman's jaw and through the soft palette into the brain. The lizardman fell like a puppet with cut strings, and Wilhelm tore the spear from his side and took it in hand. With black blood dripping from his new weapon, the revenant stepped forward to bar the way once more.
But the damage was done. While Wilhelm was dealing with the spear-wielding lizardman, two lizardmen managed to slip past. I could only watch helplessly as the two humanoids circled around to head for the stairs to the gundeck, brandishing a macahuitl and an axe between them.
Fortunate then, that I had set Deadbeard there to stop them.
A gunshot rang out, and the axe-wielding lizardman promptly fell on his face, a gaping hole where his heart once was. Hissing angrily, the macahuitl wielding lizardman, a rather muscular specimen with jet-black scales, charged forward, and Deadbeard answered, cutlass drawn. Rusted steel met shining obsidian, and the battle was joined.
Where Wilhelm's fight was akin to a dance of death, Deadbeard's fight was nothing less than a no-holds-barred back-alley brawl. Their weapons clashing again and again was almost a side note, with punches, kicks, headbutts, and gnashing of teeth and fangs the course of the day.
It was hypnotizing, the sheer brutality the lizardman and my minion were subjecting themselves and each other to. I couldn't look away.
A low, mournful note echoed across the beach, and the lizardmen all just stopped. Then, with quiet, angry hissing, the lizardmen retreated, leaving the wreck and weaving between the traps to leave through the gate.
Deadbeard's opponent hissed irately and disengaged, shoving the skeleton away before rushing towards the open end of the wreck. Jumping from the wreck, he sailed through the air towards the northern most puddle. He hit the surface and went under, and the water went red.
Huh. Seems I didn't misplace that piranha pit after all.
However, a moment later, the lizardman burst from the water, bloodied and covered in biting piranhas. Ripping the toothy fish from his hide, the lizardman raced out the gates after his brethren, leaving a trail of blood behind him.
[Invasion Completed.]
[+5 Health Capacity. +5 Mana Capacity]
Floating up through the decks, I came out into the open air and made my way to the poopdeck. I watched, the lizardmen racing across the sands towards the cliffs. The cliffs posed no obstacle, the lizardmen scaling the precipice as quickly as they had descended it earlier, making the top and vanishing into the underbrush. As I watched, the leader stared in my direction, then turned his back to me, almost contemptuously, and vanished into the bush.
As the last lizardman disappeared into the jungle, I let myself breath an imaginary sigh of relief. It was over; I survived.
My gaze went over the cliff and I froze as I saw the titanic lizardman was still there. He wasn't done, either. Picking up and hefting one last log, he threw it like a giant boomerang before turning and vanishing into the jungle. I only peripherally noticed this, because I was instead focused on watching the log spin through the air.
With a shattering crash, the spinning log smashed into the mizzenmast and bounced off, rolling across the poopdeck and off the edge of the ship, taking a good portion of the rails with it. For a long moment, nothing happened, and I started to let out another sigh of relief when a loud crack rent the air. I could only watch in disbelief as the mizzenmast broke off at the base and toppled over to starboard. There was an almighty crash, and the mast was once more laying over the wall. I was left speechless.
Well, almost.
OH COME ON!
Wilhelm looked up from the botefeux in his hands as I burst through the wall of the armory. "Oh, Dungeon Core? Vhat's wrong?"
I came to an instant stop in pure defiance of physics and the laws of motion. We've got lizardmen incoming!
"Lizardmench," Wilhelm exclaimed in surprise. "Vhere? How many? How much time do ve have?"
I don't know! Moa didn't say.
"Moa?" the revenant questioned, putting the botefeux back in the barrel with the other cannon instruments. "Who is Moa?"
Moa's my dire gull.
Though I couldn't see it, I had the distinct impression that Wilhelm was cocking an eyebrow. "Your bird can talk?"
What? No. He drew pictures in the sand. I shook myself. Is this really the time?
Wilhelm shook his head. "Nein. Nein, you are right." Taking a breath, the revenant clenched his fists and then let them relax. "I shall need a veapon."
What kind?
"A sword," Wilhelm stated, bringing his hands up to shoulder height and holding them apart. "Preferably so long, straight, two edges, and vith a hand and a half grip."
I stared at the revenant for a moment. I've got cutlasses and macahuitls.
The undead knight stared at me. "Vhat's a…maca-hoo-ittle?"
It's sort of a flat, bladed club? I explained. It's almost like a sword.
"Ah, verdammt," Wilhelm uttered. "Nein, that vill not do. Perhaps if I had time to acquaint myself vith one, but nein." He sighed. "Do you perhaps have any polearms? Halberd, pike, glaive, spear, lance?"
I brightened up. I've got spears.
Wilhelm nodded decisively. "Zhat vill suffice."
Ten mana later and Wilhelm snatched the obsidian spear out of the air as it materialized. Gripping the shaft by the middle, he held it out horizontally. A moment later, he began to twirl the polearm. Up, down, around and round, it was moving so quickly I was having difficulty keeping up, yet despite the cramped conditions the weapon never touched anything but air. Then it stopped, just as suddenly as it began, spear held out horizontally in one hand.
"Ja, zhis vill do," Wilhelm declared. Shouldering the spear, the revenant turned to face me. "Vhere do you vant me?"
That's a good question. Where did I want the knight? I have vague memories of last stands, of the few against the many. Some were defeated, some were victorious, for a certain definition of the word. Trying to remember more than that just made my head hurt, however impossible that may be. But, one thing I did remember, was the value of a chokepoint.
Downstairs, berth deck, I decided in a burst of headache-banishing inspiration. Guard the stairs up, they'll have to come at you one at a time.
Wilhelm nodded in agreement. "A good plan. Even a small force can defend from a superior force when funneled properly."
Great. I sent Moa back up to watch the lizardmen and give us a last-minute warning. I'll let you know when the attack's coming. With that, I floated up through the gundeck and into the cabin.
Passing through the wall out into the open air of the main deck, I looked at Bubbles and Deadbeard. Bubbles, Deadbeard, we've got a bunch of lizardmen coming to attack us.
The two minions reacted rather well to the news, Bubbles throwing her claws up in the air in surprise while Deadbeard drew pistol and cutlass with a dry rattle of his bones. Ugh, that sound.
Bubbles, I commanded, forcing my discomfort to the side. Keep guarding the door. Kill anything that tries to get past you. Bubbles clacked her claws together, sidling back until her carapace was just shy of touching the door. She gurgled in determination, bubbles frothing from her mouth.
Deadbeard, I continued, turning to the undead pirate skeleton. Head down to the gundeck. Anybody gets past Wilhelm, blow them away.
Deadbeard tucked away his pistol and saluted, the skeleton's fleshless palm facing away from me, before bolting for the stairs. He vanished into the depths of the wreck, leaving me alone with my thoughts and a determinedly bubbling crab.
Okay, I had eleven, no, make that twelve mana to work with. Okay…what to do with it? I could set a non-lethal trap, somewhere it would assist one of my minions. Or, I could wait for Dexter or Sinister to get back, and hope they brought something with decent mana to absorb.
There was a loud wooden thud from down below at the lagoon. Hovering over to the edge of the wreck, I saw Dexter scuttling in through the gate, his fishing net bulging with items.
Huh. Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
Hovering off the edge of the wreck, I plummeted down. Stopping just off the sandy ground, I zipped over to Dexter, the crab already unloading his catch onto the beach by the lagoon. The gentle crab saw me coming and started to wave at me with his little claw.
Dexter, we've got lizardmen on the warpath. Drop everything and hide in the lagoon, I ordered. I want you to pull any lizardmen that get too close underwater and keep them there.
Ideally, I'd prefer to have Sinister hide in wait. That crab is…I'd say he's not human, but, well, crab. I have no clue where he is right now though, so Dexter will have to do.
Sketching a salute (which was rather good for a giant crab), Dexter dropped the last items out of his net and scuttled out the gate. Pausing in the shallows of the lagoon outside, the giant crab looked around before deciding on a place to hide.
They say that no plan survives contact with the enemy. Well, I for one was not expecting the flaming boulder that came out of nowhere and clobbered poor Dexter.
[Dexter was squashed by a flaming boulder]
Dexter, no!
From the top of the cliff echoed a long, hollow note, a low sound that carried across the sands. Naturally, I turned to see what was making that noise.
Atop the cliff, now that the skies were sunny and clear, the tops of tropical trees were visible. As was the row of angry looking lizardmen. A rather large specimen with an impressive fringe of feathers stood in the center, lowering a conch shell from his mouth.
Jiminy Cricket! Why didn't Moa warn me they were so close?!?
[Moa was shot by an arrow]
Oh. Well that's just typical.
Another flaming boulder flew overhead, landing with a deafening thud somewhere behind the walls. Tracing the faint smoke trail left behind, I visually followed it until my phantasmal eyes locked onto the form of an absolutely gargantuan lizardman, who was easily twice the size of any three lizardmen up on that cliff. How in the hell did I not notice that beast earlier?
Thankfully, it would seem he was out of boulders to throw. Unfortunately, it would seem he's gone and graduated to throwing logs. One such log promptly javelined into the sand right next to me, settling at an angle like some sort of demented wind-blasted tree-trunk…which technically I suppose it was.
Their leader, he of the magnificent crest, brought the conch shell back to his mouth and blew. Two menacing notes thrummed across the beach, one low, one high, sending chills down my non-existent spine. As the last echoes of the horn vanished from the beach, the lizardmen surged forward, crawling down the sheer cliff face in a rapid decent.
Oh shit! BATTLE STATIONS!
I don't know if anyone heard that, but it had to be said. Crap, I need to absorb this pile and throw up some last-minute defenses!
Poke! Poke poke poke!
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 227/50]
[Small Barracuda absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Sea Star absorbed. +10 Mana]
[Saltwater Piranha absorbed. +5 Mana]
[Brain Coral absorbed. +10 Mana]
[Rocky Scorpionfish absorbed. +25 Mana]
[Corroded Swivel Gun absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Young Dogfish absorbed. +25 Mana]
[Radiant Sunfish absorbed. +20 Mana]
[Purple Sea Star absorbed. +10 Mana]
[Staghorn Coral absorbed. +10 Mana]
[Blue Coral Skeleton Piece absorbed. +10 Mana]
[Stingray absorbed. +15 Mana]
[Barnacle Encrusted Sextant absorbed. +6 Mana]
[Uprooted Anemone absorbed. + 5 Mana]
[Small Eel absorbed. +10 Mana]
[Broken Globe Base absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Tarnished Bell Clapper absorbed. +1 Mana]
[Marble Hand absorbed. +1 Mana]
Lots of fish this time, and a few random, but handy things. Agh! Not the time for puns!
Okay, okay…um…
A sickening crash exploded behind me as a log slammed into the hull of my shipwreck, lodging somewhere around the gundeck. I found myself screaming at the giant lizardman atop the cliff.
Quit putting holes in my ship! It's already got enough of that going on!
How much time do I have? Oh crap, they're almost at the bottom of the cliff. Oh dear. Oh my.
Okay, let's see…I'll make a cannon, set it in front of the ship facing the gate, and summon a minion to man it…actually, let's make that two minions. I recall that cannons needed their own crew to operate them.
I…crap, I don't have enough space, the base of the main mast is in the way. Maybe if I had a larger courtyard…thing, it'd work, but as it is, the cannon'd get overrun after one shot. Shit!
Wait, wait…can I move the stairs? No, no I cannot, it's making the rude noise at me. …What if I build a wall?
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 30/30 Mana 216/50]
[Walls Purchased: -11 Mana]
I can build a wall! Giggling in nervous glee, I threw up an L-shaped wall down the center of the orlop deck, putting the stairs at the end of a hooked corridor rather than out in the open.
From there, I slapped down a wooden platform across the top of the ballast for an additional six mana and then summoned a cannon and placed it on the platform facing the open end of the wreck. I have naval cannons, not field guns, after all. Now for the gun crew.
[Undead Pirate Skeleton summoned. -50 Mana]
[Undead Pirate Skeleton summoned. -50 Mana]
With the disturbed warping I'd come to associate with the spawning of undead, two skeletons crawled up out of the ballast. Like Deadbeard had been when first summoned, these two undead pirate skeletons were dressed in rags, though unlike Deadbeard, they wore faded blue-striped white shirts and their skulls were uncovered. They were also unarmed, worryingly.
I looked at the two skeletons. They looked identical at first glance, but upon closer inspection, one was skinny and the other was of stocky build.
You are Murtogg, I addressed the skinny skeleton. And you are Mullroy, I named the stocky skeleton. We're about to be attacked, so man this cannon and let none pass.
The two skeletons stared at me, then at the cannon, then back at me before Murtogg shrugged helplessly.
What were they…? Oh, right. Yes, yes, instruments. Give me a moment.
Concentrating, I summoned the instruments already in the armory, the devices clattering to the platform next to the cannon. Wait, how did I…? Not the time, figure it out later. Concentrating again, I summoned several cannonballs and gunpowder charges from the armory, piling them up on the other side of the cannon. For good measure I also bought a pile of grapeshot canisters and put them next to the solid shot.
Okay, that leaves me with…seventy-six mana. Right, let's drop some lethal traps around here, that should slow the lizardmen down for the cannon. Open the traps!
[Traps]
[Pits]
[Pit: 10 Mana]
[Spiked Pit: 15 Mana]
[Piranha Pit: 20 Mana]
[Snares]
[Counterweight Rope Net: 10 Mana]
[Counterweight Canvas Net: 10 Mana]
[Counterweight Spiked Rope Net: 15 Mana]
[Deadfall]
[Cannon Deadfall: 15 Mana]
[Net Full of Cannonballs: 15 Mana]
[Projectile]
[6Ibs Naval Cannon: 15 Mana]
[-Solid Shot: 5 Mana]
[-Grapeshot: 5 Mana]
Right going to focus on pits and snares, and…hey, I have a new pit trap. Piranha pits…Oh that's evil. I'm gonna do it.
The piranha pits are a bit pricy, twenty mana a pop, but I think it will be worth it, a combination of lethal and non-lethal trap: if you get out in time, you'll live, but you'll be slowed down by the pain of innumerous bites taken out of you, but if you don't get out in time, well, it was nice knowing you. Of course, that assumes these are the stereotypical voracious flesh-eaters of the movies (what's a movie?) and not the skittish scavengers of real life.
I plopped down two piranha pits, two round, chest-deep holes suddenly sinking into the sand and filling to the brim with water before a thin layer of sand formed over it. On a whim, I slapped a third piranha pit down onto one of the two puddles within my walls and was pleasantly surprised when the trap spread to encompass the entire body of water. Convenient.
Finally, I threw down another spike pit for good measure, leaving me with a whopping one mana.
There. Anybody who comes through that gate is going to have a bad time.
…
Oh shit. What if they can climb over the walls?
Well, too late to worry about that now. Here they come.
I could hear the thrumming of talons on sand approaching the walls outside. I cringed, the shifting of sands replaced with the scrabbling of claws on stone. For a long moment, I held my metaphorical breath, but the feared sight of lizardmen heads cresting the top of the wall never materialized. I somehow let out a breath of relief as the scrabbling of claw and stone stopped.
Moments later, the pounding of feet on sand began to travel around the wall towards the gate. I felt the urge to swallow nervously. Here it was, the moment of truth. And here I was, unable to do anything about it.
I hated it. That feeling of helplessness, of only being able to watch. It burned at me.
The gates opened.
{Invasion Commencing.}
To my surprise, it wasn't my forces that got first blood. The first lizardman through the gate, an intimidating specimen with intricately painted black scales and a massive two-handed macahuitl, was equally surprised, as a thick tentacle wrapped around his ankle and dragged him into the depths of the lagoon.
Huh. I'd forgotten about the very angry octopus. I'll have to thank him for that. Maybe a large fish or something. Of course, I'll have to survive first.
The rest of the lizardmen were funneling in through the gates when the cannon fired. A single cannonball plowed through the mass of scaled bodies, and I watched the carnage unfold almost as if in slow motion.
The first lizardman to encounter the cannonball was lucky; he only lost the top half of his spear. Those behind him were not so lucky. The cannonball took the next lizardman in the chest, and the creature's torso simply imploded as the shot passed through him. The lizardman behind him ragdolled, body twisting in impossible ways as the cannonball obliterated his shoulder, throwing him into several other lizardmen in the process. Another lizardman simply lost a hand, coming to a stop and staring stupidly at the suddenly handless stump pulsing spurts of crimson blood. One last lizardman was felled by the cannonball, his headless body running several steps before finally realizing it was dead, leaving his compatriots covered in skull fragments and brain matter.
Then the moment passed, time sped up, and a spray of sand and water exploded down the beach.
I'll be honest, the sight of it made me feel somewhat ill. The lizardmen seemed to be fairing no better, the survivors slowing down in shock. However, they quickly rallied and charged forward, hissing angrily.
My heart leapt into my throat as the lizardmen thundered forward unmolested. Then they hit the traps.
Two lizardmen fell into the first spike pit, one breaking through the thin layer of sand, the other too close to avoid disaster. The rest of the lizardmen surged around the gaping hole, jumping the gap or simply going around. Then they hit the second spike trap and the first piranha pit at the same time. They lost three lizardmen that time, one to the spikes, the other two flailing and screaming in dismay as they fell into water that swiftly began to foam and turn red. They went under and surfaced, flailing wildly before going under once more. They did not resurface.
I grimaced. Two of my piranha traps were untouched. I'd placed the hole too far south of the gate, and I'd chosen the wrong puddle; I should have placed it in the puddle right in front of the wreck, not the one a bit further north.
Still, the traps had served their purpose I reflected as I moved back into the orlop deck. The lizardmen were slowed, forced to slow down and move around to avoid the exposed pits. Just enough for Mullroy and Murtogg to reload the cannon. Hopefully they'd loaded grapeshot…what are those two doing?
To my dismay, the two skeletons manning the cannon were not reloading, but were instead charging the lizardmen armed only with a ramrod and a wad-screw with sponges on the ends. While they were able to enthusiastically club a pair of lizardmen senseless, they were quickly impaled on several spears before several arrows sprouted from their skulls. The two skeletons went limp and fell apart.
[Mullroy was shafted.]
[Murtogg got the point.]
Oh God dammit. Groaning in dismay and exasperation, I floated up through the floor and hovered over to Wilhelm.
They're coming, I warned. Idiots on the cannon tried to fight hand to hand instead of reloading.
Wilhelm grunted in acknowledgement, shifting his feet apart and lowering the tip of his spear as the sounds of talons on wood drew closer. The tension grew, becoming almost palpable. Then, the first lizardman poked his head up the stairs.
To watch Wilhelm fight was like watching the world's deadliest dance. That first lizardman was only two steps up when his skull was caved-in by the spear butt slamming between his eyes. The next lizardman, scrambling over the cooling corpse of his comrade, was stabbed through the throat and fell back with a gurgle. Three more lizardmen were killed in similar fashion, Wilhelm striking with a speed and precision that bordered on superhuman. Then one lizardman took the spear through his eye, and disaster struck as the spear shattered from the force of the thrust.
Wilhelm quickly recovered, but a lizardman was able to take advantage of the opening provided, lunging forward with his own spear. The primitive polearm skittered across the revenant's armor, only to catch on a spot of corrosion and punch through the small hole already there, biting deep into the knight's side.
Grunting in pain, Wilhelm wrapped an arm around the spear, locking it in place before driving the shattered but sharp remains of his spear up into the bottom of the lizardman's jaw and through the soft palette into the brain. The lizardman fell like a puppet with cut strings, and Wilhelm tore the spear from his side and took it in hand. With black blood dripping from his new weapon, the revenant stepped forward to bar the way once more.
But the damage was done. While Wilhelm was dealing with the spear-wielding lizardman, two lizardmen managed to slip past. I could only watch helplessly as the two humanoids circled around to head for the stairs to the gundeck, brandishing a macahuitl and an axe between them.
Fortunate then, that I had set Deadbeard there to stop them.
A gunshot rang out, and the axe-wielding lizardman promptly fell on his face, a gaping hole where his heart once was. Hissing angrily, the macahuitl wielding lizardman, a rather muscular specimen with jet-black scales, charged forward, and Deadbeard answered, cutlass drawn. Rusted steel met shining obsidian, and the battle was joined.
Where Wilhelm's fight was akin to a dance of death, Deadbeard's fight was nothing less than a no-holds-barred back-alley brawl. Their weapons clashing again and again was almost a side note, with punches, kicks, headbutts, and gnashing of teeth and fangs the course of the day.
It was hypnotizing, the sheer brutality the lizardman and my minion were subjecting themselves and each other to. I couldn't look away.
A low, mournful note echoed across the beach, and the lizardmen all just stopped. Then, with quiet, angry hissing, the lizardmen retreated, leaving the wreck and weaving between the traps to leave through the gate.
Deadbeard's opponent hissed irately and disengaged, shoving the skeleton away before rushing towards the open end of the wreck. Jumping from the wreck, he sailed through the air towards the northern most puddle. He hit the surface and went under, and the water went red.
Huh. Seems I didn't misplace that piranha pit after all.
However, a moment later, the lizardman burst from the water, bloodied and covered in biting piranhas. Ripping the toothy fish from his hide, the lizardman raced out the gates after his brethren, leaving a trail of blood behind him.
[Invasion Completed.]
[+5 Health Capacity. +5 Mana Capacity]
Floating up through the decks, I came out into the open air and made my way to the poopdeck. I watched, the lizardmen racing across the sands towards the cliffs. The cliffs posed no obstacle, the lizardmen scaling the precipice as quickly as they had descended it earlier, making the top and vanishing into the underbrush. As I watched, the leader stared in my direction, then turned his back to me, almost contemptuously, and vanished into the bush.
As the last lizardman disappeared into the jungle, I let myself breath an imaginary sigh of relief. It was over; I survived.
My gaze went over the cliff and I froze as I saw the titanic lizardman was still there. He wasn't done, either. Picking up and hefting one last log, he threw it like a giant boomerang before turning and vanishing into the jungle. I only peripherally noticed this, because I was instead focused on watching the log spin through the air.
With a shattering crash, the spinning log smashed into the mizzenmast and bounced off, rolling across the poopdeck and off the edge of the ship, taking a good portion of the rails with it. For a long moment, nothing happened, and I started to let out another sigh of relief when a loud crack rent the air. I could only watch in disbelief as the mizzenmast broke off at the base and toppled over to starboard. There was an almighty crash, and the mast was once more laying over the wall. I was left speechless.
Well, almost.
OH COME ON!
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Interlude: Welcome to the Jungle
Guardsman_Sparky
The Clueless Wonder
- Location
- Virginia
Moves-Swiftly rushed through the jungle foliage, nary a twig disturbed at his passing. Chirps and clicks sounded through the trees as unseen sentries announced the lizardman's approach. Moves-Swiftly barked back, and he passed through unmolested.
Bursting from the undergrowth, Moves-Swiftly rushed into the village, a gathering of huts made of stone, mud, and thatch. Young, fringeless Unnamed scattered in the scout's wake as he made for the center of the settlement, joining the gathering crowd that followed the scout. Approaching the largest hut of stone and straw, Moves-Swiftly slowed, coming to a stop exactly six paces from the entrance. Removing his rosewood flatbow and his quiver of arrows, the lizardman dropped to his knees and prostrated himself, bow and quiver held before him.
The village fell silent, and Larger-Than-Most, chieftain of the Unfelled Spirit-Tree Tribe, stepped forth from his hut. He certainly lived up to his name, standing a good two heads taller and massing thrice-more than any other lizardman in the tribe. Intricate patterns were painted on upper arms and bare chest, and a crest of multi-colored feathers spilled down the back of his long neck. <Speak,> the chieftain hissed, his voice shaking the frame of his hut with its timber.
Moves-Swiftly looked up, though otherwise remained prostrated. <My Chieftain. An Abomination has entrenched itself into the Sands of Stone Teeth.>
The chieftain moved, his body a blur as his arm shot out, his claw wrapping around Moves-Swiftly's neck. Hoisting the scout bodily into the air by the neck, Larger-Than-Most pulled the lesser lizardman close, hot breath washing over Moves-Swiftly's face. <Explain.>
<My creche and I were scouting the southern shores when we encountered a Walking-Bones,> Moves-Swiftly reported, hanging limp in his chieftain's one-handed grip. <We set upon it in ambush and destroyed it utterly. It vanished in smoke, but we tracked its origin to the broken forest-canoe.> The lizardman scout swallowed, taking a breath. <Eyes-Of-An-Eagle bade me observe from the cliffs above, while he, Dull-As-Stone, and Wishes-To-Fly climbed up the fallen cloth tree onto the forest-canoe.>
Larger-Than-Most drew Moves-Swiftly even closer, their muzzles almost touching. <And where are your creche-brothers?>
<Dead,> Moves-Swiftly said, voice shaking. <Dull-As-Stone fell down a hole and did not emerge, and Eyes-Of-An-Eagle and Wishes-To-Fly were reduced to a mist of life's-water by a trap of thunder magic. I returned post-haste.>
Grunting dismissively, Larger-Than-Most dropped Moves-Swiftly. Turning away from the supine scout, the lizardman chieftain addressed the gathered crowd.
<Sound the drums. We go to war.>
Lowering the conch shell horn from his lips, Larger-Than-Most watched with dissatisfaction as the warriors of his tribe poured out from the stone walls surrounding the broken forest-canoe claimed by the Abomination.
<We failed.>
Larger-Than-Most glanced to the side, taking in the form of the tribe's shamaness, Plays-With-Fire. The smaller female looked up at the chieftain, her dull scales and short fringe looking pale in the harsh sunlight.
<The Abomination grew faster than I anticipated,> Larger-Than-Most grumbled, turning his head to track the first of his surviving warriors as he crested the top of the cliff and ran by, vanishing into the underbrush of the jungle. <The warning-tales told by my grandsire were not exaggerated in the slightest.>
<What do we do now,> Plays-With-Fire inquired, stepping aside to let a warrior missing his hand stumble by, both assisting and assisted by another warrior who was bleeding from a hole in his knee. <We do not have the numbers to stop the Abomination as it is, and it is sure to grow ever stronger.>
<No, we don't, and it will grow stronger,> Larger-Than-Most agreed as Darker-Than-Night stalked past, his obsidian hide bleeding freely from several ragged bites, a stubby, sharp-toothed fish still clinging gamely to the tip of the lizardman's tail. <That is why we shall be sending runners to the Falling Rocks and Coursing River tribes. Loathe though I am to admit it, this is a problem too big for any one tribe.>
Turning around and walking into the brush, Larger-Than-Most addressed the gigantic lizardman picking up a felled coconut log. <Walking-Mountain. Last one.>
Grunting, Walking-Mountain took one end of the log in hand and flung it out over the beach as easily as another might throw a stick. Smirking at the results of his handiwork, and the shriek of anger echoing up from below, Walking-Mountain turned and lumbered after Larger-Than-Most, giving Plays-With-Fire a passing leer.
Shrinking away from the monstrous lizardman's bulk, Plays-With-Fire scurried after the chieftain, the harsh sun soon giving way to the soft shadows of the trees. <What of the Burning Skies?>
Larger-Than-Most stopped in his tracks. <No. The moment those…maniacs are roused from their lair…we've already lost.>
Plays-With-Fire was taken aback by the vehemence in her chieftain's tone, and even Walking-Mountain found himself shirking back from the intensity of his leader's voice.
<No. We leave those warped-eggs be,> Larger-Than-Most declared, taking up his pace anew. <Do not speak of them again. For now, we rest, lick our wounds, and wait.>
Bursting from the undergrowth, Moves-Swiftly rushed into the village, a gathering of huts made of stone, mud, and thatch. Young, fringeless Unnamed scattered in the scout's wake as he made for the center of the settlement, joining the gathering crowd that followed the scout. Approaching the largest hut of stone and straw, Moves-Swiftly slowed, coming to a stop exactly six paces from the entrance. Removing his rosewood flatbow and his quiver of arrows, the lizardman dropped to his knees and prostrated himself, bow and quiver held before him.
The village fell silent, and Larger-Than-Most, chieftain of the Unfelled Spirit-Tree Tribe, stepped forth from his hut. He certainly lived up to his name, standing a good two heads taller and massing thrice-more than any other lizardman in the tribe. Intricate patterns were painted on upper arms and bare chest, and a crest of multi-colored feathers spilled down the back of his long neck. <Speak,> the chieftain hissed, his voice shaking the frame of his hut with its timber.
Moves-Swiftly looked up, though otherwise remained prostrated. <My Chieftain. An Abomination has entrenched itself into the Sands of Stone Teeth.>
The chieftain moved, his body a blur as his arm shot out, his claw wrapping around Moves-Swiftly's neck. Hoisting the scout bodily into the air by the neck, Larger-Than-Most pulled the lesser lizardman close, hot breath washing over Moves-Swiftly's face. <Explain.>
<My creche and I were scouting the southern shores when we encountered a Walking-Bones,> Moves-Swiftly reported, hanging limp in his chieftain's one-handed grip. <We set upon it in ambush and destroyed it utterly. It vanished in smoke, but we tracked its origin to the broken forest-canoe.> The lizardman scout swallowed, taking a breath. <Eyes-Of-An-Eagle bade me observe from the cliffs above, while he, Dull-As-Stone, and Wishes-To-Fly climbed up the fallen cloth tree onto the forest-canoe.>
Larger-Than-Most drew Moves-Swiftly even closer, their muzzles almost touching. <And where are your creche-brothers?>
<Dead,> Moves-Swiftly said, voice shaking. <Dull-As-Stone fell down a hole and did not emerge, and Eyes-Of-An-Eagle and Wishes-To-Fly were reduced to a mist of life's-water by a trap of thunder magic. I returned post-haste.>
Grunting dismissively, Larger-Than-Most dropped Moves-Swiftly. Turning away from the supine scout, the lizardman chieftain addressed the gathered crowd.
<Sound the drums. We go to war.>
---
Lowering the conch shell horn from his lips, Larger-Than-Most watched with dissatisfaction as the warriors of his tribe poured out from the stone walls surrounding the broken forest-canoe claimed by the Abomination.
<We failed.>
Larger-Than-Most glanced to the side, taking in the form of the tribe's shamaness, Plays-With-Fire. The smaller female looked up at the chieftain, her dull scales and short fringe looking pale in the harsh sunlight.
<The Abomination grew faster than I anticipated,> Larger-Than-Most grumbled, turning his head to track the first of his surviving warriors as he crested the top of the cliff and ran by, vanishing into the underbrush of the jungle. <The warning-tales told by my grandsire were not exaggerated in the slightest.>
<What do we do now,> Plays-With-Fire inquired, stepping aside to let a warrior missing his hand stumble by, both assisting and assisted by another warrior who was bleeding from a hole in his knee. <We do not have the numbers to stop the Abomination as it is, and it is sure to grow ever stronger.>
<No, we don't, and it will grow stronger,> Larger-Than-Most agreed as Darker-Than-Night stalked past, his obsidian hide bleeding freely from several ragged bites, a stubby, sharp-toothed fish still clinging gamely to the tip of the lizardman's tail. <That is why we shall be sending runners to the Falling Rocks and Coursing River tribes. Loathe though I am to admit it, this is a problem too big for any one tribe.>
Turning around and walking into the brush, Larger-Than-Most addressed the gigantic lizardman picking up a felled coconut log. <Walking-Mountain. Last one.>
Grunting, Walking-Mountain took one end of the log in hand and flung it out over the beach as easily as another might throw a stick. Smirking at the results of his handiwork, and the shriek of anger echoing up from below, Walking-Mountain turned and lumbered after Larger-Than-Most, giving Plays-With-Fire a passing leer.
Shrinking away from the monstrous lizardman's bulk, Plays-With-Fire scurried after the chieftain, the harsh sun soon giving way to the soft shadows of the trees. <What of the Burning Skies?>
Larger-Than-Most stopped in his tracks. <No. The moment those…maniacs are roused from their lair…we've already lost.>
Plays-With-Fire was taken aback by the vehemence in her chieftain's tone, and even Walking-Mountain found himself shirking back from the intensity of his leader's voice.
<No. We leave those warped-eggs be,> Larger-Than-Most declared, taking up his pace anew. <Do not speak of them again. For now, we rest, lick our wounds, and wait.>
Visceral Cleanup Detail
Guardsman_Sparky
The Clueless Wonder
- Location
- Virginia
It was a while before I stopped shouting and cursing at the lizardmen. When I finally subsided, I looked around at my shipwreck and grimaced before ultimately just letting out a sigh.
Well…this is a right mess. There's corpses everywhere, blood is splattered over everything in sight, and to top it off, the mizzenmast is down again. Christ. Even with magical vacuum powers, this will take a while to clean up.
The now-familiar thump of chitin on wood sounded down below, heralding Sinister's return. Of course my giant crab would get back after the fight was over. Well, let's see what he's got this time.
Floating down through the wreck, I drifted out into the sun to see my giant crab standing before the gate, holding something in his left claw, while his right claw reached down and…
Sinister, no! Put that down, you don't know where it's been!
Pausing with the lizardman corpse halfway to his mouth, Sinister stared at me. When I simply kept staring at him expectantly, he reluctantly dropped the body to the sand.
Good boy, I praised. Let's see what you got this time.
Visibly wilting, Sinister slowly held out his left claw, presenting his catch to me. It was small, much smaller than any of his previous catches. But at the same time, it was just as terrifying; a four-foot-long snake with bands of red, yellow, and black. A coral snake. Nice.
As I reached out to absorb the snake though, I paused, taking in Sinister's demeanor. Wait, is he…ashamed? Sinister, what's wrong?
Sinister sidled abashedly, not meeting my gaze, before one of his legs kicked out and hit a dead lizardman. I stared at the corpse, then at my crab, the gears grinding away in my mind, until finally, the proverbial lightbulb went off. Did you stop hunting to come fight the lizardmen?
Sinister shifted up and down, in what I took to be 'yes.' Aw. I have no idea how my crab did it, but he somehow knew I was under attack and tried to come and fight for me.
I hovered forward, doing my best to give my giant crab a hug.
Thank you Sinister. You're such a good boy.
Slowly, Sinister started wriggling, speeding up as he realized I was happy with him. Such a good crab.
Hey, is it just me, or is Sinister looking a bit…shiny? Eh, it's probably just my imagination.
Reaching out, I poked the coral snake and absorbed it.
[Crushed Coral Snake absorbed. +45 Mana]
Huh. Not bad. That's…why is it a four-foot snake nets me forty-five mana while a giant shark only nets me one-hundred?
…
Well, the snake does have venom… and the megalodon was a baby… thoughts for later.
Okay, Sinister, I commanded, shaking myself from my musings. I need you to put the hunting trips on hold for now. Go out into the lagoon and hide under the water. You're on guard duty until I get everything back to normal.
Wriggling in delight, Sinister clacked his claws together and scurried out the gate, swiftly vanishing into the lagoon. Huh. He blends in well.
Right, let's start cleaning up this mess.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 35/35 Mana 196/55]
[Imploded Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Ragdolled Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Headless Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
Right, well, that takes care of the mess at the gate. Mostly. There's a bloodstain over here that refuses to come out; I think it might be what's left of that one lizardman's hand. There's also the matter of the lizardman that the Very Angry Octopus drowned. I…I'm not sure I want to go looking for it. I mean, yes, that's free mana right there…but do I really want to go anywhere near that mollusk, much less anywhere near his natural habitat? No. No, I do not.
Of course, that was when a mangled corpse was spat out of the lagoon to land by my 'feet,' somehow accompanied by a very satisfied belch. Staring at the swiftly smoothing ripples on the lagoon, I found myself filled with all sorts of nope. So, instead, I focused my attention on the mangled carcass before me.
It was quite the mess. The limbs and tail were largely untouched, though there were clear deformations present on the skin, evidence of where the cephalopod's suckers had adhered. The ribs were cracked open, the chest cavity open to the elements; the cavity was completely devoid of organs, which was, quite frankly, a bit disturbing to look at. But the face was somehow even worse. Lips gone, tongue torn out, and both eyes missing. To top it all off, the skull was sporting a beak-sized hole, nary a speck of grey matter to be found within.
Jesus, but the Very Angry Octopus is terrifying. I think, for ease of reference, that I shall call the terrifying mollusk 'Lusca.' It seems appropriate, somehow.
[Mangled Lizardman absorbed. +37 Mana]
Huh. That only got me thirty-seven mana. Odd. I found myself glancing over at the deceptively still lagoon. Did…did the very angry…did Lusca…eat the mana? Huh. You know, I hadn't really thought about it, but if Lusca did eat the missing mana, or absorb it, or whatever, this kind of implies that mana is a form of life energy. I'm not sure I like the implications of that.
Moving on before I have a crisis. Let's clear out and reset the traps.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 35/35 Mana 468/55]
[Impaled Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Impaled Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Spike Pit reset. -5 Mana]
[Skeletonized Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Skeletonized Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Piranha Pit reset. -5 Mana]
[Impaled Lizardman absorbed. + 50 Mana]
[Spike Pit reset. -5 Mana]
And the skeletonized lizardmen in the piranha pit gave me the full fifty mana even though they were…skeletonized. I just don't get it.
You know what, someone's screwing with me, I just know it.
[Dexter revived.]
[Moa revived.]
[Mullroy revived.]
[Murtogg revived.]
Oh good. My minions are back. I was a tad bit afraid they wouldn't be coming back, but I guess I had nothing to worry about.
Right…um…I should go handle my minions before continuing. The corpses won't be going anywhere…will they? They better not, I have enough problems repressing the willies around my undead.
Suppressing a shudder, I floated up into the wreck. Coming out onto the main deck, I saw that all my minions, revived and otherwise (save Sinister), had gathered there. Bubbles was in her customary position in front of the cabin door, blowing her customary bubbles. Dexter was standing next to her, looking oddly fixated on Bubbles and her bubbles. Wilhelm was not too far off from the two crabs, seated on the stairs to the poopdeck with his appropriated spear leaning on his shoulder, still dripping with slowly congealing black and red blood. Meanwhile, Deadbeard was leaning against the stub of the main mast with his arms crossed and head bowed, somehow not at all bothered by Moa sitting on his shoulder. Finally, off to one side, was Mullroy and Murtogg, the two erstwhile gunners leaning over the railing and gawking at something out in the distance.
Nodding to myself, I hovered over to the two crabs. Good work you two. Bubbles, I know you didn't see any fighting, but I appreciate how you stuck to your post, I praised, eliciting a delighted gurgle from the crab. I turned to Dexter, taking note of the way he seemed to sink into himself. Dexter, you did good. It was just bad luck that you happened to get crushed under a flaming boulder. It wasn't your fault, okay?
Dexter nodded, rotating his whole body up and down.
Good. Now go join your brother in the lagoon. I'll call for you guys shortly.
Clacking his claws together, Dexter turned around, pausing momentarily to look at Bubbles, before skittering off and over the side of the ship. Huh, I just noticed, but he still has his net. Odd that. I'd have thought it would still be under that boulder. Huh.
With that done, I floated over to Wilhelm. Wilhelm, uh…how you holding up?
Wilhelm looked up at me. "If you mean how am I faring, I am vell. Though," he muttered, rotating his free arm. "I'm somevhat out of practice. I should not have frozen up like I did vhen my spear shattered. I let you down."
I stared at the revenant. He called that freezing? He barely slowed down at all! You're kidding right? The way you killed that lizardman and took his spear… that was totally badass!
The undead knight stared at me, eyes burning in confusion. "Bad…ass?"
Yeah, badass. It's…it, it's when, I tried to explain, only to trail off. It's… when someone is… tough. Like, their demeanor is just…someone you wouldn't want to fight, someone who can easily hold their own. Someone scary. Does…does that make any sense?
Slowly, thoughtfully, the revenant nodded. "Ja. Ja, I zhink it does. Badass… I like it. But, ah, speaking of my new spear," Wilhelm asked, changing the subject. "Do you have anyzhing I can use to clean off zhe blood? I'd razher not let it stain."
Huh? Uh, sure, give me a moment, I prevaricated. Opening the armory menu, I looked through it quickly. There was a new category, 'tools,' and there was an option to buy cleaning rags for five mana, though at the moment, it was the only option. I swiftly purchased the rags.
Okay, there are cleaning rags in the armory. Just check the workbenches.
"Danke schön," Wilhelm said, standing up. "I'll just go take care of zhis, zhen."
And with that, the armored revenant marched off and made his way below decks.
Well, okay then. Good talk.
Floating across the deck, I approached Deadbeard and Moa. Halfway there though, Moa lit off from the skeleton captain's shoulder and glided over to land in front of me.
Hey Moa, how you doing?
The dire gull waggled its head from side to side, before making a dismissive prek sound and reaching under his wing to pluck at some loose feathers. Well, good to know he was taking his death so well.
Speaking of, it seems foolhardy to have only one scout. And Moa does look like he could use a friend. Oh, what the heck.
[Dire Gull summoned. -25 Mana]
Moa froze as a whirlwind of feathers erupted from the deck, before dissipating to reveal another dire gull. It was slightly larger than Moa, but there was another difference there, one that I could not put my finger on.
Moa, this is… Haast, I said, introducing my dire gull to his new friend. Haast, this is Moa. I hope you'll be friends.
The two dire gulls began to hop around each other, heads bobbing amusingly as they looked each other over from head to toe. Then they started to caw at each other, before Moa took off, Haast taking wing after him. The two dire gulls flew high up into the air, cawing and screeching at each other as they wheeled and dove across the sky.
Well, they seem to be having fun.
Putting aside the raucous birds for the time being, I continued over to Deadbeard. Hey, good job back there. You need anything?
Deadbeard nodded, making as if to draw his pistol before mimicking the action in various places across his body.
I stared at the motions, trying to parse what he was asking. You want more guns?
The skeleton began to nod, then stopped and waggled a hand from side to side.
Oh, you just want more weapons in general?
Deadbeard nodded enthusiastically, his gnashing jaw making a hollow clatter. I suppressed the cringe that followed the noise.
Okay, give me some time, I'll see what I can do.
The skeletal captain clapped his hands together twice. I took that to mean approval of some sort.
I motioned towards Mullroy and Murtogg, a sort of back and forth bobble movement. Could you get the attention of those two? I need to have some words.
Tilting his head, Deadbeard stared at me with what I somehow understood as a devious grin (which didn't really make sense; he's a skeleton, he's always grinning). Then, he stalked silently up behind the two younger skeletons and knocked their skulls together.
The two ne'er-do-wells staggered about, clutching at their heads. They spun around angrily, only to freeze as they saw Deadbeard and myself staring at them unamusedly.
Thank you Deadbeard, I said, before turning my attention to Mullroy and Murtogg. Now, what I am going to do with you two?
The two skeletons looked at each other before Murtogg shrugged nervously.
You two are by far the worst gunners I have ever seen, I admonished. You had one job. Load the cannon and fire it until you couldn't anymore. But no, I drawled. You fired one shot and then ran at the enemy, armed only with weighted sticks, when you should have been loading grapeshot. I gave you a pile of the stuff for a reason!
Mullroy and Murtogg looked down at their feet, kicking the deck ashamedly.
I took a breath, considering what to do with them. While they should have stayed with the cannon in the first place, they had given a decent showing in attacking with the cannon instruments. Kind of made me wonder what they'd do with better… weapons. Hang on, that gives me an idea. I opened the armory menu and made a few quick purchases.
It is clear to me that you two are not cut out to be gunners, I declared ominously. So…
Summoning my purchases from the armory, I shoved them into Murtogg's and Mullroy's arms. The two skeletons staggered back, finding themselves holding a musket, a bayonet, a sack of musket balls, and a powder horn apiece. Then, as a finishing touch, I plopped tricorn hats on their heads.
Welcome to the marines. Captain Deadbeard, I called out, feeling a certain amount of Schadenfreude. See to their training, would you?
Somehow, Mullroy and Murtogg managed to actually swallow nervously. The two turned around and tried to bolt for it, but, regrettably, Deadbeard was quicker than them. Laughing in a rather disturbing manner, the skeletal captain grabbed the two by the collars of their shirts, dragging the two newly-minted marines off to meet their fate.
I almost feel sorry for them. Almost.
Well, now that that's done, time to finish cleaning up.
But first, I should fix the mizzenmast. Again.
Twenty-five mana later, and the mast was rising up and twisting about once more. Ugh. I don't think I'll ever get used to that.
Okay, now we go and clean up.
Floating down through the decks, I made my way to the orlop deck, pausing to collect Deadbeard's victim left on the berth deck.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 35/35 Mana 793/55]
[Heartless Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Disfigured Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Stabbed Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Speared Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Pierced Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Stabbed Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Lobotomized Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Shafted Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Disemboweled Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Unzipped Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
Wow. Wilhelm is a scary man. Those last two lizardmen must have been killed while I was focusing on Deadbeard's fight. The first one was, obviously, disemboweled, its guts spilled everywhere, hands clutching at intestines even in death. The second was…well, unzipped really was the best way to describe it. It had been cut from crotch to clavicle, peeled open like a ripe avocado. That the cut had been made with a primitive obsidian spear head… I'll say it again. Wilhelm is a scary man.
Urgh. Oh, gosh, that overate feeling is back with a vengeance. Ugh. Is it possible for a dungeon core to get heartburn? Because I really hope it isn't. Bleh.
Okay, let's… let's do something about that, shall we?
Well…this is a right mess. There's corpses everywhere, blood is splattered over everything in sight, and to top it off, the mizzenmast is down again. Christ. Even with magical vacuum powers, this will take a while to clean up.
The now-familiar thump of chitin on wood sounded down below, heralding Sinister's return. Of course my giant crab would get back after the fight was over. Well, let's see what he's got this time.
Floating down through the wreck, I drifted out into the sun to see my giant crab standing before the gate, holding something in his left claw, while his right claw reached down and…
Sinister, no! Put that down, you don't know where it's been!
Pausing with the lizardman corpse halfway to his mouth, Sinister stared at me. When I simply kept staring at him expectantly, he reluctantly dropped the body to the sand.
Good boy, I praised. Let's see what you got this time.
Visibly wilting, Sinister slowly held out his left claw, presenting his catch to me. It was small, much smaller than any of his previous catches. But at the same time, it was just as terrifying; a four-foot-long snake with bands of red, yellow, and black. A coral snake. Nice.
As I reached out to absorb the snake though, I paused, taking in Sinister's demeanor. Wait, is he…ashamed? Sinister, what's wrong?
Sinister sidled abashedly, not meeting my gaze, before one of his legs kicked out and hit a dead lizardman. I stared at the corpse, then at my crab, the gears grinding away in my mind, until finally, the proverbial lightbulb went off. Did you stop hunting to come fight the lizardmen?
Sinister shifted up and down, in what I took to be 'yes.' Aw. I have no idea how my crab did it, but he somehow knew I was under attack and tried to come and fight for me.
I hovered forward, doing my best to give my giant crab a hug.
Thank you Sinister. You're such a good boy.
Slowly, Sinister started wriggling, speeding up as he realized I was happy with him. Such a good crab.
Hey, is it just me, or is Sinister looking a bit…shiny? Eh, it's probably just my imagination.
Reaching out, I poked the coral snake and absorbed it.
[Crushed Coral Snake absorbed. +45 Mana]
Huh. Not bad. That's…why is it a four-foot snake nets me forty-five mana while a giant shark only nets me one-hundred?
…
Well, the snake does have venom… and the megalodon was a baby… thoughts for later.
Okay, Sinister, I commanded, shaking myself from my musings. I need you to put the hunting trips on hold for now. Go out into the lagoon and hide under the water. You're on guard duty until I get everything back to normal.
Wriggling in delight, Sinister clacked his claws together and scurried out the gate, swiftly vanishing into the lagoon. Huh. He blends in well.
Right, let's start cleaning up this mess.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 35/35 Mana 196/55]
[Imploded Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Ragdolled Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Headless Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
Right, well, that takes care of the mess at the gate. Mostly. There's a bloodstain over here that refuses to come out; I think it might be what's left of that one lizardman's hand. There's also the matter of the lizardman that the Very Angry Octopus drowned. I…I'm not sure I want to go looking for it. I mean, yes, that's free mana right there…but do I really want to go anywhere near that mollusk, much less anywhere near his natural habitat? No. No, I do not.
Of course, that was when a mangled corpse was spat out of the lagoon to land by my 'feet,' somehow accompanied by a very satisfied belch. Staring at the swiftly smoothing ripples on the lagoon, I found myself filled with all sorts of nope. So, instead, I focused my attention on the mangled carcass before me.
It was quite the mess. The limbs and tail were largely untouched, though there were clear deformations present on the skin, evidence of where the cephalopod's suckers had adhered. The ribs were cracked open, the chest cavity open to the elements; the cavity was completely devoid of organs, which was, quite frankly, a bit disturbing to look at. But the face was somehow even worse. Lips gone, tongue torn out, and both eyes missing. To top it all off, the skull was sporting a beak-sized hole, nary a speck of grey matter to be found within.
Jesus, but the Very Angry Octopus is terrifying. I think, for ease of reference, that I shall call the terrifying mollusk 'Lusca.' It seems appropriate, somehow.
[Mangled Lizardman absorbed. +37 Mana]
Huh. That only got me thirty-seven mana. Odd. I found myself glancing over at the deceptively still lagoon. Did…did the very angry…did Lusca…eat the mana? Huh. You know, I hadn't really thought about it, but if Lusca did eat the missing mana, or absorb it, or whatever, this kind of implies that mana is a form of life energy. I'm not sure I like the implications of that.
Moving on before I have a crisis. Let's clear out and reset the traps.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 35/35 Mana 468/55]
[Impaled Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Impaled Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Spike Pit reset. -5 Mana]
[Skeletonized Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Skeletonized Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Piranha Pit reset. -5 Mana]
[Impaled Lizardman absorbed. + 50 Mana]
[Spike Pit reset. -5 Mana]
And the skeletonized lizardmen in the piranha pit gave me the full fifty mana even though they were…skeletonized. I just don't get it.
You know what, someone's screwing with me, I just know it.
[Dexter revived.]
[Moa revived.]
[Mullroy revived.]
[Murtogg revived.]
Oh good. My minions are back. I was a tad bit afraid they wouldn't be coming back, but I guess I had nothing to worry about.
Right…um…I should go handle my minions before continuing. The corpses won't be going anywhere…will they? They better not, I have enough problems repressing the willies around my undead.
Suppressing a shudder, I floated up into the wreck. Coming out onto the main deck, I saw that all my minions, revived and otherwise (save Sinister), had gathered there. Bubbles was in her customary position in front of the cabin door, blowing her customary bubbles. Dexter was standing next to her, looking oddly fixated on Bubbles and her bubbles. Wilhelm was not too far off from the two crabs, seated on the stairs to the poopdeck with his appropriated spear leaning on his shoulder, still dripping with slowly congealing black and red blood. Meanwhile, Deadbeard was leaning against the stub of the main mast with his arms crossed and head bowed, somehow not at all bothered by Moa sitting on his shoulder. Finally, off to one side, was Mullroy and Murtogg, the two erstwhile gunners leaning over the railing and gawking at something out in the distance.
Nodding to myself, I hovered over to the two crabs. Good work you two. Bubbles, I know you didn't see any fighting, but I appreciate how you stuck to your post, I praised, eliciting a delighted gurgle from the crab. I turned to Dexter, taking note of the way he seemed to sink into himself. Dexter, you did good. It was just bad luck that you happened to get crushed under a flaming boulder. It wasn't your fault, okay?
Dexter nodded, rotating his whole body up and down.
Good. Now go join your brother in the lagoon. I'll call for you guys shortly.
Clacking his claws together, Dexter turned around, pausing momentarily to look at Bubbles, before skittering off and over the side of the ship. Huh, I just noticed, but he still has his net. Odd that. I'd have thought it would still be under that boulder. Huh.
With that done, I floated over to Wilhelm. Wilhelm, uh…how you holding up?
Wilhelm looked up at me. "If you mean how am I faring, I am vell. Though," he muttered, rotating his free arm. "I'm somevhat out of practice. I should not have frozen up like I did vhen my spear shattered. I let you down."
I stared at the revenant. He called that freezing? He barely slowed down at all! You're kidding right? The way you killed that lizardman and took his spear… that was totally badass!
The undead knight stared at me, eyes burning in confusion. "Bad…ass?"
Yeah, badass. It's…it, it's when, I tried to explain, only to trail off. It's… when someone is… tough. Like, their demeanor is just…someone you wouldn't want to fight, someone who can easily hold their own. Someone scary. Does…does that make any sense?
Slowly, thoughtfully, the revenant nodded. "Ja. Ja, I zhink it does. Badass… I like it. But, ah, speaking of my new spear," Wilhelm asked, changing the subject. "Do you have anyzhing I can use to clean off zhe blood? I'd razher not let it stain."
Huh? Uh, sure, give me a moment, I prevaricated. Opening the armory menu, I looked through it quickly. There was a new category, 'tools,' and there was an option to buy cleaning rags for five mana, though at the moment, it was the only option. I swiftly purchased the rags.
Okay, there are cleaning rags in the armory. Just check the workbenches.
"Danke schön," Wilhelm said, standing up. "I'll just go take care of zhis, zhen."
And with that, the armored revenant marched off and made his way below decks.
Well, okay then. Good talk.
Floating across the deck, I approached Deadbeard and Moa. Halfway there though, Moa lit off from the skeleton captain's shoulder and glided over to land in front of me.
Hey Moa, how you doing?
The dire gull waggled its head from side to side, before making a dismissive prek sound and reaching under his wing to pluck at some loose feathers. Well, good to know he was taking his death so well.
Speaking of, it seems foolhardy to have only one scout. And Moa does look like he could use a friend. Oh, what the heck.
[Dire Gull summoned. -25 Mana]
Moa froze as a whirlwind of feathers erupted from the deck, before dissipating to reveal another dire gull. It was slightly larger than Moa, but there was another difference there, one that I could not put my finger on.
Moa, this is… Haast, I said, introducing my dire gull to his new friend. Haast, this is Moa. I hope you'll be friends.
The two dire gulls began to hop around each other, heads bobbing amusingly as they looked each other over from head to toe. Then they started to caw at each other, before Moa took off, Haast taking wing after him. The two dire gulls flew high up into the air, cawing and screeching at each other as they wheeled and dove across the sky.
Well, they seem to be having fun.
Putting aside the raucous birds for the time being, I continued over to Deadbeard. Hey, good job back there. You need anything?
Deadbeard nodded, making as if to draw his pistol before mimicking the action in various places across his body.
I stared at the motions, trying to parse what he was asking. You want more guns?
The skeleton began to nod, then stopped and waggled a hand from side to side.
Oh, you just want more weapons in general?
Deadbeard nodded enthusiastically, his gnashing jaw making a hollow clatter. I suppressed the cringe that followed the noise.
Okay, give me some time, I'll see what I can do.
The skeletal captain clapped his hands together twice. I took that to mean approval of some sort.
I motioned towards Mullroy and Murtogg, a sort of back and forth bobble movement. Could you get the attention of those two? I need to have some words.
Tilting his head, Deadbeard stared at me with what I somehow understood as a devious grin (which didn't really make sense; he's a skeleton, he's always grinning). Then, he stalked silently up behind the two younger skeletons and knocked their skulls together.
The two ne'er-do-wells staggered about, clutching at their heads. They spun around angrily, only to freeze as they saw Deadbeard and myself staring at them unamusedly.
Thank you Deadbeard, I said, before turning my attention to Mullroy and Murtogg. Now, what I am going to do with you two?
The two skeletons looked at each other before Murtogg shrugged nervously.
You two are by far the worst gunners I have ever seen, I admonished. You had one job. Load the cannon and fire it until you couldn't anymore. But no, I drawled. You fired one shot and then ran at the enemy, armed only with weighted sticks, when you should have been loading grapeshot. I gave you a pile of the stuff for a reason!
Mullroy and Murtogg looked down at their feet, kicking the deck ashamedly.
I took a breath, considering what to do with them. While they should have stayed with the cannon in the first place, they had given a decent showing in attacking with the cannon instruments. Kind of made me wonder what they'd do with better… weapons. Hang on, that gives me an idea. I opened the armory menu and made a few quick purchases.
It is clear to me that you two are not cut out to be gunners, I declared ominously. So…
Summoning my purchases from the armory, I shoved them into Murtogg's and Mullroy's arms. The two skeletons staggered back, finding themselves holding a musket, a bayonet, a sack of musket balls, and a powder horn apiece. Then, as a finishing touch, I plopped tricorn hats on their heads.
Welcome to the marines. Captain Deadbeard, I called out, feeling a certain amount of Schadenfreude. See to their training, would you?
Somehow, Mullroy and Murtogg managed to actually swallow nervously. The two turned around and tried to bolt for it, but, regrettably, Deadbeard was quicker than them. Laughing in a rather disturbing manner, the skeletal captain grabbed the two by the collars of their shirts, dragging the two newly-minted marines off to meet their fate.
I almost feel sorry for them. Almost.
Well, now that that's done, time to finish cleaning up.
But first, I should fix the mizzenmast. Again.
Twenty-five mana later, and the mast was rising up and twisting about once more. Ugh. I don't think I'll ever get used to that.
Okay, now we go and clean up.
Floating down through the decks, I made my way to the orlop deck, pausing to collect Deadbeard's victim left on the berth deck.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 35/35 Mana 793/55]
[Heartless Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Disfigured Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Stabbed Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Speared Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Pierced Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Stabbed Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Lobotomized Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Shafted Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Disemboweled Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
[Unzipped Lizardman absorbed. +50 Mana]
Wow. Wilhelm is a scary man. Those last two lizardmen must have been killed while I was focusing on Deadbeard's fight. The first one was, obviously, disemboweled, its guts spilled everywhere, hands clutching at intestines even in death. The second was…well, unzipped really was the best way to describe it. It had been cut from crotch to clavicle, peeled open like a ripe avocado. That the cut had been made with a primitive obsidian spear head… I'll say it again. Wilhelm is a scary man.
Urgh. Oh, gosh, that overate feeling is back with a vengeance. Ugh. Is it possible for a dungeon core to get heartburn? Because I really hope it isn't. Bleh.
Okay, let's… let's do something about that, shall we?
Blue Lagoon
Guardsman_Sparky
The Clueless Wonder
- Location
- Virginia
I practically waddled into the armory, I was so stuffed with mana. I felt bloated, and I wasn't quite sure how that wasn't reflected in my form. Of course, I don't really have a form outside my core… come to think of it, how do my minions see me?
Urp… ooh, I'll worry about that later. Right now, if I don't spend some of this mana, I think I might actually barf. Somehow. And I really don't want to find out how that would work, either.
Ignoring Wilhelm, the revenant standing at one of the workbenches whilst wiping down his spear with a rag, I floated over to the first weapons cabinet, the one facing the door. Opening the armory menu, I bought four more muskets, along with the accompanying bayonets and ammunition supplies, and placed it all in the cabinet. I let out a sigh of relief as the sensation of being overstuffed lessened somewhat, but I was still more than ten times over my mana limit.
So, still with plenty of mana left to burn, I began purchasing braces of each weapon available in the armory menu. There were a few new things in the menu, likely from the lizardmen that had attacked me, and I happily purchased them as well.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 35/35 Mana 203/55]
[Pirate Cutlass purchased. -20 Mana]
[Pirate Cutlass purchased. -20 Mana]
[Steel Hunting Knife purchased. -15 Mana]
[Steel Hunting Knife purchased. -15 Mana]
[Steel Hatchet purchased. -15 Mana]
[Steel Hatchet purchased. -15 Mana]
[Ebony Macahuitl purchased. -10 Mana]
[Ebony Macahuitl purchased. -10 Mana]
[Two-Handed Ebony Macahuitl purchased. -15 Mana]
[Two-Handed Ebony Macahuitl purchased. -15 Mana]
[Obsidian Spear purchased. -10 Mana]
[Obsidian Spear purchased. -10 Mana]
[Obsidian Axe purchased. -10 Mana]
[Obsidian Axe purchased. -10 Mana]
[Rosewood Flatbow purchased. -15 Mana]
[Rosewood Flatbow purchased. -15 Mana]
[Quiver of Obsidian Arrows purchased. -10 Mana]
[Quiver of Obsidian Arrows purchased. -10 Mana]
[Ebony Club purchased. -10 Mana]
[Ebony Club purchased. -10 Mana]
[Flintlock Pistol purchased. -20 Mana]
[Flintlock Pistol purchased. -20 Mana]
[Sack of Musket Balls purchased. -10 Mana]
[Sack of Musket Balls purchased. -10 Mana]
[Powder Horn Purchased. -10 Mana]
[Powder Horn Purchased. -10 Mana]
[Box of Cartridge Paper Purchased. -10 Mana]
As the cabinets and containers filled up with new weapons, I let out a sigh of relief. Oh, that was much, much, much better. I was still feeling overly full, but now I didn't feel like immediately vomiting.
Still don't want to know what that would look like, thank you very much.
"Meine Güte!"
I heard a shout of surprise, followed by the crashing of metal upon metal. Hovering around the mast, I found Wilhelm sprawled out on the deck, one foot propped up on an upset barrel and his helmet askew.
Wilhelm? Are you alright?
"Vhat? Ja, ja, I'm fine," Wilhelm deflected, flailing about as he struggled to get back to his feet. "I vas just startled, is all. Verdammte Rüstung…"
As I watched Wilhelm struggle to get up, I looked around. Startled, he said. What was there to be startled…oh. My gaze focused on a pistol and a cutlass on the workbench where Wilhelm had been working. Those had definitely not been there before. Wilhelm must have jumped backwards and stumbled over that barrel when the two weapons spawned. Whoops.
That's my bad, I apologized, reaching out and setting Wilhelm upright. I guess I hadn't really thought that through.
"Quite alright," Wilhelm assured me, dusting himself off before bending over and retrieving his spear from the floor. "But, again, I vould appreciate some varning next time, ja?"
Jawohl, I agreed.
"Güt. Now, raus! I have to inventory all zhis!" And with that, Wilhelm promptly shooed me out the armory and closed the door behind me.
Did…did I just get kicked out of my own armory? Well, that's a fine how'd'ya do.
Feeling a bit miffed, I floated away from the armory door, only to pause as I took in the tree trunk sticking halfway through a hole in the portside hull.
Oh my God, I forgot about the logs. How did I forget about the logs? They only put holes in my ship and knocked down my mast. Not like they kidnapped my firstborn and killed my wife… okay, a bit dark with the metaphors there, but you know what I mean.
Scowling, I hovered over to the offending log, absorbing it and then erasing the damage it left.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 35/35 Mana 218/55]
[Coconut Log absorbed. +20 Mana]
[Hull repaired. -5 Mana]
Hah, you see that, Log? I have defeated you and I'm talking to an inanimate object that no longer exists. I do hope that isn't a sign of impending madness.
Ugh, anyways, back to fixing my mana overdose… overdose. Oh God, I'm too pretty to do drugs!
Hmm… okay, yep, definitely a sign of madness. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
More cheese!
…
Eesh, I think all that extra mana might be going to my head. Right-o, let's summon some minions to drain that pain, get my brain operational again.
Rhyming. Fun.
Let's start with some gunners. Mullroy and Murtogg got… transferred, after all. Hopefully their replacements aren't as excitable.
Open the minions menu and…
[Minions]
[Avians]
[Seagull: 10 Mana]
[Dire Gull: 25 Mana]
[Beast Men]
[Lizardman Scout: 100 Mana]
[Crustaceans]
[Small Crab: 10 Mana]
[Giant Crab: 25 Mana]
[Fish]
[Small Barracuda: 100 Mana]
[Radiant Sunfish: 40 Mana]
[Saltwater Piranha: 10 Mana]
[Rocky Scorpionfish: 50 Mana]
[Dogfish: 50 Mana]
[Stingray: 30 Mana]
[Small Eel: 20 Mana]
[Megalodon: 3600 Mana]
[Reptiles]
[Coral Snake: 90 Mana]
[Undead]
[Undead Pirate Skeleton: 50 Mana]
Doo-dee-doo, and… huh. The categories have reorganized themselves. Alphabetical order. Convenient. Strange, but convenient. Let's see… Avians, Beast Men… you know, I could summon a pair of lizardmen… nnh… no, no, maybe later. I think I'm going to stick to what I'm familiar with for now. Crustaceans, fish… wow, that's a lot of fish, and… holy shit. Am I reading the price tag on megalodons right? Thirty-six hundred mana for a single fish. That is like… endboss level minion-ry, right there. Jesus. And the baby only gave me a hundred mana? I'm feeling a bit gipped right now.
Right, moving on. Reptiles… oh, hello coral snake. I don't have a place in mind for you yet, so you just sit tight. And undead, here we go. Still only with undead pirate skeletons. Let's just take two, and… boop-boop.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 35/35 Mana 118/55]
[Undead Pirate Skeleton summoned. -50 Mana]
[Undead Pirate Skeleton summoned. -50 Mana]
I watched as two skeletons pulled their way up out of the decking, hardly noting the warping sound that accompanied the birth of two new minions.
As with Mullroy and Murtogg, the skeletons were dressed in rags that had once been shorts and striped shirts. They were also unarmed, but that wasn't so much a problem right now. However, the big thing, and this is what I really noticed first, is that one of the skeletons was a small mountain, so broad and so tall that he had to stoop, lest he knock his skull on the rafters of the deck above. Even his bones were absurdly thick. The other skeleton was short. As in, he was a midget, albeit a rather stocky one. He also had the scraggly remains of a beard on his chin, which was weird, because even Deadbeard didn't have a beard.
You know, this begs the question of why my skeletons aren't all identical. I mean, Deadbeard was summoned with a cutlass, Mullroy is skinny while Murtogg is somewhat big boned, and now I have Tiny and Napoleon here… Actually, those aren't bad as far as names go.
So, welcome to Fort Kickass, I greeted my two new minions. I hereby dub thee Tiny, and thou art Napoleon, I said, naming the giant and the dwarf respectively. To start with, I'm going to have you two man the cannon down in the orlop deck.
As soon as I said the word 'cannon,' the newly-named Napoleon began hopping up and down, rubbing his hands together with glee. For his part, Tiny simply tilted his head to one side.
So, I continued. Head on down to the orlop deck, get acquainted with your cannon. Practice with it, figure out who's going to do what… actually, don't practice just yet. Just head down and familiarize yourself with everything.
Nodding slowly, Tiny lumbered towards the stairs, his head thunking hollowly against the rafters a few times as he failed to duck enough. Napoleon meanwhile, just kept hopping up and down and rubbing his hands together in glee, right up until Tiny picked him up one-handed by the top of his ribcage and kept on going.
I watched the two skeletons vanish down the stairs, Tiny unheeding of Napoleon's fruitless flailing and kicking.
Well, that went well. But, I may have done Mullroy and Murtogg a disservice. After all, I did throw them into the deep end without giving them time to practice swimming. Then again, they did charge at heavily armed foes armed with little more than weighted sticks, so… yeah, kind of evens out. Still, it doesn't change the fact that they didn't have time to practice.
But, I think I can fix that. Well, if I still have the mana for it, that is.
Floating down through the wreck, I passed Tiny and Napoleon as Tiny trudged down the stairs with Napoleon still in hand, the smaller skeleton looking almost sullen as he hung limp like a cat held by the scruff. Taking amusement from the sight, I continued on and passed out into the orlop deck and then out into the open sun.
And there is the other log. Absorb.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 35/35 Mana 138/55]
[Coconut Log absorbed. +20 Mana]
Now, let's see…I need space if my plan is to work out. Can I…?
I pressed up against the gates leading to the lagoon and a new popup appeared.
[Claim Lagoon? 100 Mana]
HA! HAhahahahaha! I can claim the lagoon…oy, but that pricetag. You know what? Screw it, YOLO, banzai, Geronimo, all that jazz! I'm-a do it!
Boop!
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 35/35 Mana 38/60]
[Lagoon claimed. -100 Mana]
[Mana Capacity +5]
I sputtered and flopped to the ground as the sensation of several drunken pygmies suddenly began dancing in my metaphorical skull. It was not a pleasant sensation at all, and if I had a mouth I'm pretty sure my teeth would be chattering like one of those wind-up teeth toys. Of course, the fact that the earth was shaking probably had something to do with it.
Honestly, I completely forgot that would happen.
When the earth and the sand finally stopped moving and the water of the lagoon stopped bouncing about like an epileptic plate of gelatin, the drunken pygmies finally passed out and I was able to get up off the ground.
I heard an impressed whistle, and it took me a moment to realize that I'd made that whistle, which was weird, because I didn't have lips to whistle with.
Still, that whistle was appropriate.
Where before there was only a small pool enclosed by a wall of stone, now the entire lagoon stretched before me. It was… it was beautiful. The water was crystal clear, sparkling in the sun. The sands were no longer the color of a beached jellyfish but was instead a dazzling white now that the sun had dried it out. Dark, jagged rocks lined the north and south shores of the lagoon, but on the southern shore, colorful vines and creepers clung to the rocks while swaying palm trees sprouted from the sands. Around the perimeter of the lagoon, smooth rock walls rose from the sands, narrow strips of land separating the rock from the water. And across from me, directly opposite where it was before, my primordial gate loomed, torches blazing proudly.
Unfortunately, the view was somewhat marred by the charred boulder sitting smack in the middle of the shallows before me.
Grumbling at the offending piece of rock, I poked it, absorbing it for a neat ten mana. I stood back to absorb my handiwork.
Huh… those ripples look funny.
As it turns out, those ripples were actually Lusca, the giant octopus breaching gleefully before angling sharply into the depths of the newly-claimed lagoon.
A brief commotion at the other end of the lagoon drew my attention just in time to see Dexter scramble from the water, his crabby eyes wild and his claws clacking in distress. He scrabbled up against the closed gate and then turned around to stare at the lagoon in confusion. A few moments later, Sinister scuttled out of the lagoon and looked at Dexter. It was quite clearly a look of 'what the heck is wrong with you,' and I hadn't the foggiest as to how a crab managed to emote that.
It was almost like watching a dog startle itself by farting, to be honest. Though in this case, I suspected that the 'farting' was actually instincts screaming about the presence of a predator. Of course, as usual, Sinister was completely oblivious to the potential dangers.
Silly crabs.
Metaphorically shaking my head, I floated over the lagoon to the other side, where my crabs were now looking about at the new walls in curiosity.
Okay guys, I called out, drawing my crabs' attention. You can go back to scavenging now. Have fun, be good. And if you can't be good, have fun.
Clacking their claws and waving their eyestalks in glee, the two giant crabs turned and made for the gate. Well, Dexter did. Sinister was so excited that he accidentally bounced off the wall next to the gate, though he recovered with remarkable aplomb and skittered out on the second try, pretending that absolutely nothing had happened. His nonchalant act wasn't fooling anyone, though.
I shook my head again as the gates closed. Silly crabs.
Urp… ooh, I'll worry about that later. Right now, if I don't spend some of this mana, I think I might actually barf. Somehow. And I really don't want to find out how that would work, either.
Ignoring Wilhelm, the revenant standing at one of the workbenches whilst wiping down his spear with a rag, I floated over to the first weapons cabinet, the one facing the door. Opening the armory menu, I bought four more muskets, along with the accompanying bayonets and ammunition supplies, and placed it all in the cabinet. I let out a sigh of relief as the sensation of being overstuffed lessened somewhat, but I was still more than ten times over my mana limit.
So, still with plenty of mana left to burn, I began purchasing braces of each weapon available in the armory menu. There were a few new things in the menu, likely from the lizardmen that had attacked me, and I happily purchased them as well.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 35/35 Mana 203/55]
[Pirate Cutlass purchased. -20 Mana]
[Pirate Cutlass purchased. -20 Mana]
[Steel Hunting Knife purchased. -15 Mana]
[Steel Hunting Knife purchased. -15 Mana]
[Steel Hatchet purchased. -15 Mana]
[Steel Hatchet purchased. -15 Mana]
[Ebony Macahuitl purchased. -10 Mana]
[Ebony Macahuitl purchased. -10 Mana]
[Two-Handed Ebony Macahuitl purchased. -15 Mana]
[Two-Handed Ebony Macahuitl purchased. -15 Mana]
[Obsidian Spear purchased. -10 Mana]
[Obsidian Spear purchased. -10 Mana]
[Obsidian Axe purchased. -10 Mana]
[Obsidian Axe purchased. -10 Mana]
[Rosewood Flatbow purchased. -15 Mana]
[Rosewood Flatbow purchased. -15 Mana]
[Quiver of Obsidian Arrows purchased. -10 Mana]
[Quiver of Obsidian Arrows purchased. -10 Mana]
[Ebony Club purchased. -10 Mana]
[Ebony Club purchased. -10 Mana]
[Flintlock Pistol purchased. -20 Mana]
[Flintlock Pistol purchased. -20 Mana]
[Sack of Musket Balls purchased. -10 Mana]
[Sack of Musket Balls purchased. -10 Mana]
[Powder Horn Purchased. -10 Mana]
[Powder Horn Purchased. -10 Mana]
[Box of Cartridge Paper Purchased. -10 Mana]
As the cabinets and containers filled up with new weapons, I let out a sigh of relief. Oh, that was much, much, much better. I was still feeling overly full, but now I didn't feel like immediately vomiting.
Still don't want to know what that would look like, thank you very much.
"Meine Güte!"
I heard a shout of surprise, followed by the crashing of metal upon metal. Hovering around the mast, I found Wilhelm sprawled out on the deck, one foot propped up on an upset barrel and his helmet askew.
Wilhelm? Are you alright?
"Vhat? Ja, ja, I'm fine," Wilhelm deflected, flailing about as he struggled to get back to his feet. "I vas just startled, is all. Verdammte Rüstung…"
As I watched Wilhelm struggle to get up, I looked around. Startled, he said. What was there to be startled…oh. My gaze focused on a pistol and a cutlass on the workbench where Wilhelm had been working. Those had definitely not been there before. Wilhelm must have jumped backwards and stumbled over that barrel when the two weapons spawned. Whoops.
That's my bad, I apologized, reaching out and setting Wilhelm upright. I guess I hadn't really thought that through.
"Quite alright," Wilhelm assured me, dusting himself off before bending over and retrieving his spear from the floor. "But, again, I vould appreciate some varning next time, ja?"
Jawohl, I agreed.
"Güt. Now, raus! I have to inventory all zhis!" And with that, Wilhelm promptly shooed me out the armory and closed the door behind me.
Did…did I just get kicked out of my own armory? Well, that's a fine how'd'ya do.
Feeling a bit miffed, I floated away from the armory door, only to pause as I took in the tree trunk sticking halfway through a hole in the portside hull.
Oh my God, I forgot about the logs. How did I forget about the logs? They only put holes in my ship and knocked down my mast. Not like they kidnapped my firstborn and killed my wife… okay, a bit dark with the metaphors there, but you know what I mean.
Scowling, I hovered over to the offending log, absorbing it and then erasing the damage it left.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 35/35 Mana 218/55]
[Coconut Log absorbed. +20 Mana]
[Hull repaired. -5 Mana]
Hah, you see that, Log? I have defeated you and I'm talking to an inanimate object that no longer exists. I do hope that isn't a sign of impending madness.
Ugh, anyways, back to fixing my mana overdose… overdose. Oh God, I'm too pretty to do drugs!
Hmm… okay, yep, definitely a sign of madness. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
More cheese!
…
Eesh, I think all that extra mana might be going to my head. Right-o, let's summon some minions to drain that pain, get my brain operational again.
Rhyming. Fun.
Let's start with some gunners. Mullroy and Murtogg got… transferred, after all. Hopefully their replacements aren't as excitable.
Open the minions menu and…
[Minions]
[Avians]
[Seagull: 10 Mana]
[Dire Gull: 25 Mana]
[Beast Men]
[Lizardman Scout: 100 Mana]
[Crustaceans]
[Small Crab: 10 Mana]
[Giant Crab: 25 Mana]
[Fish]
[Small Barracuda: 100 Mana]
[Radiant Sunfish: 40 Mana]
[Saltwater Piranha: 10 Mana]
[Rocky Scorpionfish: 50 Mana]
[Dogfish: 50 Mana]
[Stingray: 30 Mana]
[Small Eel: 20 Mana]
[Megalodon: 3600 Mana]
[Reptiles]
[Coral Snake: 90 Mana]
[Undead]
[Undead Pirate Skeleton: 50 Mana]
Doo-dee-doo, and… huh. The categories have reorganized themselves. Alphabetical order. Convenient. Strange, but convenient. Let's see… Avians, Beast Men… you know, I could summon a pair of lizardmen… nnh… no, no, maybe later. I think I'm going to stick to what I'm familiar with for now. Crustaceans, fish… wow, that's a lot of fish, and… holy shit. Am I reading the price tag on megalodons right? Thirty-six hundred mana for a single fish. That is like… endboss level minion-ry, right there. Jesus. And the baby only gave me a hundred mana? I'm feeling a bit gipped right now.
Right, moving on. Reptiles… oh, hello coral snake. I don't have a place in mind for you yet, so you just sit tight. And undead, here we go. Still only with undead pirate skeletons. Let's just take two, and… boop-boop.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 35/35 Mana 118/55]
[Undead Pirate Skeleton summoned. -50 Mana]
[Undead Pirate Skeleton summoned. -50 Mana]
I watched as two skeletons pulled their way up out of the decking, hardly noting the warping sound that accompanied the birth of two new minions.
As with Mullroy and Murtogg, the skeletons were dressed in rags that had once been shorts and striped shirts. They were also unarmed, but that wasn't so much a problem right now. However, the big thing, and this is what I really noticed first, is that one of the skeletons was a small mountain, so broad and so tall that he had to stoop, lest he knock his skull on the rafters of the deck above. Even his bones were absurdly thick. The other skeleton was short. As in, he was a midget, albeit a rather stocky one. He also had the scraggly remains of a beard on his chin, which was weird, because even Deadbeard didn't have a beard.
You know, this begs the question of why my skeletons aren't all identical. I mean, Deadbeard was summoned with a cutlass, Mullroy is skinny while Murtogg is somewhat big boned, and now I have Tiny and Napoleon here… Actually, those aren't bad as far as names go.
So, welcome to Fort Kickass, I greeted my two new minions. I hereby dub thee Tiny, and thou art Napoleon, I said, naming the giant and the dwarf respectively. To start with, I'm going to have you two man the cannon down in the orlop deck.
As soon as I said the word 'cannon,' the newly-named Napoleon began hopping up and down, rubbing his hands together with glee. For his part, Tiny simply tilted his head to one side.
So, I continued. Head on down to the orlop deck, get acquainted with your cannon. Practice with it, figure out who's going to do what… actually, don't practice just yet. Just head down and familiarize yourself with everything.
Nodding slowly, Tiny lumbered towards the stairs, his head thunking hollowly against the rafters a few times as he failed to duck enough. Napoleon meanwhile, just kept hopping up and down and rubbing his hands together in glee, right up until Tiny picked him up one-handed by the top of his ribcage and kept on going.
I watched the two skeletons vanish down the stairs, Tiny unheeding of Napoleon's fruitless flailing and kicking.
Well, that went well. But, I may have done Mullroy and Murtogg a disservice. After all, I did throw them into the deep end without giving them time to practice swimming. Then again, they did charge at heavily armed foes armed with little more than weighted sticks, so… yeah, kind of evens out. Still, it doesn't change the fact that they didn't have time to practice.
But, I think I can fix that. Well, if I still have the mana for it, that is.
Floating down through the wreck, I passed Tiny and Napoleon as Tiny trudged down the stairs with Napoleon still in hand, the smaller skeleton looking almost sullen as he hung limp like a cat held by the scruff. Taking amusement from the sight, I continued on and passed out into the orlop deck and then out into the open sun.
And there is the other log. Absorb.
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 35/35 Mana 138/55]
[Coconut Log absorbed. +20 Mana]
Now, let's see…I need space if my plan is to work out. Can I…?
I pressed up against the gates leading to the lagoon and a new popup appeared.
[Claim Lagoon? 100 Mana]
HA! HAhahahahaha! I can claim the lagoon…oy, but that pricetag. You know what? Screw it, YOLO, banzai, Geronimo, all that jazz! I'm-a do it!
Boop!
[Dungeon Core Fort Kickass Health 35/35 Mana 38/60]
[Lagoon claimed. -100 Mana]
[Mana Capacity +5]
I sputtered and flopped to the ground as the sensation of several drunken pygmies suddenly began dancing in my metaphorical skull. It was not a pleasant sensation at all, and if I had a mouth I'm pretty sure my teeth would be chattering like one of those wind-up teeth toys. Of course, the fact that the earth was shaking probably had something to do with it.
Honestly, I completely forgot that would happen.
When the earth and the sand finally stopped moving and the water of the lagoon stopped bouncing about like an epileptic plate of gelatin, the drunken pygmies finally passed out and I was able to get up off the ground.
I heard an impressed whistle, and it took me a moment to realize that I'd made that whistle, which was weird, because I didn't have lips to whistle with.
Still, that whistle was appropriate.
Where before there was only a small pool enclosed by a wall of stone, now the entire lagoon stretched before me. It was… it was beautiful. The water was crystal clear, sparkling in the sun. The sands were no longer the color of a beached jellyfish but was instead a dazzling white now that the sun had dried it out. Dark, jagged rocks lined the north and south shores of the lagoon, but on the southern shore, colorful vines and creepers clung to the rocks while swaying palm trees sprouted from the sands. Around the perimeter of the lagoon, smooth rock walls rose from the sands, narrow strips of land separating the rock from the water. And across from me, directly opposite where it was before, my primordial gate loomed, torches blazing proudly.
Unfortunately, the view was somewhat marred by the charred boulder sitting smack in the middle of the shallows before me.
Grumbling at the offending piece of rock, I poked it, absorbing it for a neat ten mana. I stood back to absorb my handiwork.
Huh… those ripples look funny.
As it turns out, those ripples were actually Lusca, the giant octopus breaching gleefully before angling sharply into the depths of the newly-claimed lagoon.
A brief commotion at the other end of the lagoon drew my attention just in time to see Dexter scramble from the water, his crabby eyes wild and his claws clacking in distress. He scrabbled up against the closed gate and then turned around to stare at the lagoon in confusion. A few moments later, Sinister scuttled out of the lagoon and looked at Dexter. It was quite clearly a look of 'what the heck is wrong with you,' and I hadn't the foggiest as to how a crab managed to emote that.
It was almost like watching a dog startle itself by farting, to be honest. Though in this case, I suspected that the 'farting' was actually instincts screaming about the presence of a predator. Of course, as usual, Sinister was completely oblivious to the potential dangers.
Silly crabs.
Metaphorically shaking my head, I floated over the lagoon to the other side, where my crabs were now looking about at the new walls in curiosity.
Okay guys, I called out, drawing my crabs' attention. You can go back to scavenging now. Have fun, be good. And if you can't be good, have fun.
Clacking their claws and waving their eyestalks in glee, the two giant crabs turned and made for the gate. Well, Dexter did. Sinister was so excited that he accidentally bounced off the wall next to the gate, though he recovered with remarkable aplomb and skittered out on the second try, pretending that absolutely nothing had happened. His nonchalant act wasn't fooling anyone, though.
I shook my head again as the gates closed. Silly crabs.
Home on the Range
Guardsman_Sparky
The Clueless Wonder
- Location
- Virginia
With the crabs back on scavenging duty, I turned back to the lagoon. It really was beautiful. A pity it was unlikely to stay that way.
Floating back over to the shipwreck shore of the lagoon, I began to survey the shallows. It was mostly smooth, fine sand over here, with the occasional rock here and there. Perfect for what I had planned.
Righty-o, let's see what I can do with forty-eight mana.
For once, I think I'm going to try and visualize what I want before I actually buy anything. I don't want to build everything only to find that I put everything in the wrong place and can't move it.
So, if I put a platform here, and a dock here, a bridge here and there, and a walkway over there…
Yeah, yeah, that looks, well, will look good. Though, it does bring up the question of what to put opposite the platform… Maybe a big boulder? Yes, I think that will do it. I took a step back and looked over the lagoon, envisioning my plan.
Yes. Yes, I think I can manage all that with fifty-three mana.
Wait, what?
I took a second look at my mana. Fifty-three. Didn't I have only forty-eight earlier? Did I misread it? I mean, I know my mana regenerates, but it's nowhere near that fast. I must have misread it, but how on earth did I mistake fifty-five for forty…
It's gone up. My mana has increased again. It's doing it right before my very eyes. Fifty-seven… fifty-eight… fifty-nine… sixty… sixt-…no, no it stopped at sixty.
Sixty, my mana capacity. You know, I'd been wondering why I even had one of those, beyond making me feel nauseous or go loopy whenever I absorb too much mana. But if that's my limit for generating mana myself… why has the rate of mana generation gone up?
What changed?
It didn't happen during any of the attacks, it didn't happen when I was absorbing everything. So, what… I trailed off, eyeing the lagoon. Was it when I claimed the lagoon?
I played my gaze over the surface of the water, then surveyed the shores. Nothing up here, nothing on the shore aside from those plants. So… is it something in the water?
Slowly, carefully, I lowered myself down into the lagoon. I found myself reflexively holding my breath as the waters closed over me, but of course, nothing happened because I don't have lungs anymore. Still, it took me a moment to realize that. Longer than I'd have liked.
Down below the water it was… tranquil. Calm. The waters were clear, and mosaics of light and shadow from the water's surface above danced across the sandy bed of the lagoon. The sand spread across the entirety of the lagoon's bottom, small grains shifting lazily in a gentle, unseen current. Though the lagoon was shallow around the periphery, no deeper than the tallest man, the bottom in the center of the lagoon sank sharply, dropping deep enough for colors to become muted and lost. In the epicenter of the deep rose a formation of ancient volcanic rock, and from the center of that ancient gathering of stones shone a soft glow.
Intrigued, and possibly a bit enthralled, I floated through the water, down towards the stone formation. As I drew closer, I could see that the formation was hollow, little more than a series of stone pillars grouped together. I crept up to the edge and looked in, and I found the source of the glow.
In the center of the small alcove there floated a ball of energy, a small sun of scintillating colors. Gossamer strands of light flowed from a crack in the rock beneath it, floating up like spiderwebs caught in a gentle breeze until they melded seamlessly into the gently shining ball of energy.
Somehow, instinctively, I knew the energy to be pure mana.
I dared not draw closer. For one, I could taste the mana that thing was giving off. Blue raspberry, by the way. Not my favorite flavor in the whole wide world, but when you don't have a tongue, one tends to forget the shear novelty of being able to taste.
Secondly – and this was the real, primary reason I wanted nothing to do with the big glow-y ball – Lusca had wrapped itself around the pulsating orb, and, as soon as I had crested the top of the rock formation, had started giving me the evilest evil eye I had ever seen.
If looks could kill…
Shuddering despite myself, I slowly backed away. Letting myself rise up out of the lagoon, I decided that the ball of energy being hugged by a very angry octopus was a problem for future me.
I wonder if Wilhelm knows anything about that ball, or what it is. But, again, that is future me's problem.
Floating over to the shore nearest the shipwreck, I recalled the mental blueprints I had drafted earlier and conjured up a short walkway that protruded out over the water, wooden supports sprouting up to prevent its collapse. It cost me three mana, and I turned my attention to my … hm, what do I call that popup that displays my health and mana? My Status bar? My status bar. I turned my attention to the status bar.
For a long while, nothing happened. Then, just as I was about to give it up as a bad job and try to figure out why the mana regen wasn't happening, my mana level increased by one point. I sat and watched with bated breath as the mana bar slowly increased to fifty-nine, then on to sixty, and then stopped there.
When nothing further happened, I slowly nodded, deep in thought.
I think I may have the mana regeneration thing figured out.
It's like… it's like breathing in versus eating. You can only breath in so much before your lungs are full, while you can continue to eat after you are full, though if you eat too much in too short a time, you're likely to vomit. There was a considerable pause between placing that walkway and the start of the regeneration, which I think means that mana doesn't regenerate while mana is being spent. It makes sense: you can't breathe in and out at the same time, only one or the other.
I have to wonder, though. Why did my mana regenerate so slowly before? My mana regeneration was so negligible as to be nonexistent, to the point that I wager it would have taken at least a day to fully regenerate from nothing, if not longer. But now that I claimed the lagoon with the spring of mana within, what would have taken a day will probably only take an hour.
Argh, math. It never fails to give a headache.
Still, I can't help but to feel that I'm missing something. Hopefully I'll figure out what it is before too long, otherwise it's going to drive me crazy.
Sighing, I put the matter of my mana aside. I tried to figure things out and only came up with more questions. Story of my life.
Right, back to defacing the lagoon.
Accessing the construction menu, I floated a short distance to the north and placed down a square, nine-mana wooden platform, half on and half off the sand. Then, I connected that to the center of the walkway I built earlier, which cost another three mana.
I paused, looking at the walkway I'd just placed down. It's the exact same width as my previous walkway, and a third the width of the platform. Is it… Dammit, I don't have any hands to hold apart and estimate measurements with.
The sound of bouncing cannonballs crashed from the depths of the orlop deck, followed by the angry clatter of bones. Oh, that gives me an idea.
Tiny, I called. Tiny, come here! I need your hands!
There was a small commotion from the orlop deck, and then two skeletal hands flew out and landed in the sand, defying all rules of logic and biology by somehow staying together and not flying apart like the lack of connective tissue would suggest. Oh, goddammit.
Tiny, I called patiently. I need your hands with you still attached to them!
For a moment, there was silence, then wood began to creak. Stomping out into the sun, Tiny tromped over to his hands. He bent over and put his hands back on, mostly by just poking the palms with the ends of his ulna and radius, and then promptly continued lumbering in my direction. Finally, the wooden slats of the walkway creaked under Tiny's feet, the ogre of a skeleton stopping to stare down at me.
There was just one problem.
Tiny, I pointed out. Tiny, your hands are on the wrong arms.
Tiny just continued to stare at me.
I sighed, wishing for the bridge of a nose to pinch and a hand to pinch it with. Fix it please. If it didn't get fixed, it was going to bug me until… nyagh!
Silently, Tiny looked at his hands, then slowly took them off and put them back on right. Well, okay then.
Okay Tiny, I commanded. Put your hands on the sides of the walkway here, then, without changing the distance between your hands, bring them up to… I paused, taking in the skeleton's height. …Waist height, and hold them there.
If he had eyes, I'm pretty sure that Tiny would be blinking slowly right now. Still, the giant skeleton complied perfectly, bending over to put his hands on either side of the walkway, then straightening up to hold his hands before him at waist height.
Thank you, Tiny.
I studied the space between Tiny's hands. What is that, a meter? Why is my base unit of measurement the meter? I don't use metric, I'm an… I'm a… I'm from somewhere that doesn't use meters but…
Ugh… my head hurts again.
So, back to the measurements, it looks like one mana will buy a meter's worth of… well, whatever I'm building. I'm not sure why I didn't notice this earlier.
Meh, whatever.
Mentally dismissing Tiny, I turned away from the oversized skeleton and made for the end of the first walkway. Let's see, what was I going to put here again? Oh yeah.
Opening the construction menu again, I plopped down a two-meter by five-meter platform, centered on the end of the walkway in the middle of the long side.
Nodding to myself and humming a pleasant tune, I hovered over to the opposite end of the lagoon. Stopping in front of the gate, I placed down a five-meter long walkway out into the lagoon, protruding from the shore perpendicular to the gate. From there, I placed another five-meter walkway perpendicular to the first, offset from one end by a meter. Then, I added another walkway perpendicular to that one, though only two meters long this time, then I added another walkway perpendicular to that one, but this one was seven meters long, offset from the southern end by one meter.
Viewed from the south, it kind of looked like a lowercase µ with a line sticking out from it, almost as if someone was writing it out and jerked their pen to the side in surprise.
Stepping back, it looks good, but I still have nineteen mana to work with, and now that it regenerates at a respectable rate, I don't have to worry about running out of mana at an inopportune moment! Like getting attacked.
Wait, do I regenerate mana during an invasion? That might be important to find out.
But I'll worry about that later, because this little project of mine should help out on the defense front. Time to decorate!
So, let's open the construction menu, scroll down to the objects, and… oh hey, I have a category for stone construction. When did that happen?
First though, let's… let's… My train of thought trailed off as I looked across the lagoon. Tiny? Tiny, what are you doing?
Tiny was, as I had commanded, still standing there on the walkway, his hands held out at waist height. Didn't I dismiss him? No, I didn't actually say anything to him, did I?
Tiny, I called across the lagoon. You can stop now! Go… go back to your cannon!
Slowly, Tiny lowered his arms. Then, ponderously, Tiny turned and lumbered away back into the depths of the orlop deck.
Well, that happened. Now, where was I? Oh right, objects. Let's see, let's see… Ooh, a clothesline, that's perfect. I'll just plop it down lengthwise in the middle of the seven-meter walkway, and viola. No, that's still not it. Violets, violin… darn it.
When did I absorb a clothesline? Eh, whatever.
Well, that's the long walkway taken care of. Now let's go up north a bit to the shore. Hmm, what am I going to put over here? You know what, let's look at the rock construction.
[Stone Construction]
[Construct Stone Pillar: 2 Mana]
[Construct Stone Wall: 2 Mana]
[Construct Stone Door: 2 Mana]
[Construct Stone Floor: 2 Mana]
[Construct Stone Guard Tower: 30 Mana]
Excuse me, stone construction. Man, this stuff is more expensive than wood stuff. Makes sense, stone is more durable than wood. So, let's see… stone pillars, huh? I like those, let's get… hm… five.
Okay, the square platform is over there, so… let's put a pillar right over here in the sand directly across from the platform, and center it thusly. Okay, that looks good. Now, let's add a second pillar over here at the waterline. Then, take these two pillars, and put them against the outer wall here and here, though not too close and not actually touching the wall. Nice, okay. And finally, the last pillar will go, here, on this little outcropping of rock poking up out of the water.
And I hereby proclaim the Fort Kickass Shooting Range complete!
Well, mostly, I still need to install a cannon on the square platform to finish the artillery range portion, but… shooting range!
Over there on the two-meter by five-meter platform will be the gun range, where my skellies can practice their shooting, using random articles of clothing I summon up onto the clothesline. The square platform will be the artillery range, once mana regens enough to buy another cannon (the novelty of regenerating mana will never get old… maybe), where gun crews will use the five stone pillars to practice traversal and aiming.
And as a bonus, the whole thing doubles as a defensive line!
Giddy with excitement, I zipped across the lagoon and made a beeline for the shipwreck. I got to get Deadbeard out here with Mullroy and Murtogg. Course, I have to find them first.
You know, I should see if Wilhelm's done with the armory. I wonder what he'll think of the shooting range.
Floating back over to the shipwreck shore of the lagoon, I began to survey the shallows. It was mostly smooth, fine sand over here, with the occasional rock here and there. Perfect for what I had planned.
Righty-o, let's see what I can do with forty-eight mana.
For once, I think I'm going to try and visualize what I want before I actually buy anything. I don't want to build everything only to find that I put everything in the wrong place and can't move it.
So, if I put a platform here, and a dock here, a bridge here and there, and a walkway over there…
Yeah, yeah, that looks, well, will look good. Though, it does bring up the question of what to put opposite the platform… Maybe a big boulder? Yes, I think that will do it. I took a step back and looked over the lagoon, envisioning my plan.
Yes. Yes, I think I can manage all that with fifty-three mana.
Wait, what?
I took a second look at my mana. Fifty-three. Didn't I have only forty-eight earlier? Did I misread it? I mean, I know my mana regenerates, but it's nowhere near that fast. I must have misread it, but how on earth did I mistake fifty-five for forty…
It's gone up. My mana has increased again. It's doing it right before my very eyes. Fifty-seven… fifty-eight… fifty-nine… sixty… sixt-…no, no it stopped at sixty.
Sixty, my mana capacity. You know, I'd been wondering why I even had one of those, beyond making me feel nauseous or go loopy whenever I absorb too much mana. But if that's my limit for generating mana myself… why has the rate of mana generation gone up?
What changed?
It didn't happen during any of the attacks, it didn't happen when I was absorbing everything. So, what… I trailed off, eyeing the lagoon. Was it when I claimed the lagoon?
I played my gaze over the surface of the water, then surveyed the shores. Nothing up here, nothing on the shore aside from those plants. So… is it something in the water?
Slowly, carefully, I lowered myself down into the lagoon. I found myself reflexively holding my breath as the waters closed over me, but of course, nothing happened because I don't have lungs anymore. Still, it took me a moment to realize that. Longer than I'd have liked.
Down below the water it was… tranquil. Calm. The waters were clear, and mosaics of light and shadow from the water's surface above danced across the sandy bed of the lagoon. The sand spread across the entirety of the lagoon's bottom, small grains shifting lazily in a gentle, unseen current. Though the lagoon was shallow around the periphery, no deeper than the tallest man, the bottom in the center of the lagoon sank sharply, dropping deep enough for colors to become muted and lost. In the epicenter of the deep rose a formation of ancient volcanic rock, and from the center of that ancient gathering of stones shone a soft glow.
Intrigued, and possibly a bit enthralled, I floated through the water, down towards the stone formation. As I drew closer, I could see that the formation was hollow, little more than a series of stone pillars grouped together. I crept up to the edge and looked in, and I found the source of the glow.
In the center of the small alcove there floated a ball of energy, a small sun of scintillating colors. Gossamer strands of light flowed from a crack in the rock beneath it, floating up like spiderwebs caught in a gentle breeze until they melded seamlessly into the gently shining ball of energy.
Somehow, instinctively, I knew the energy to be pure mana.
I dared not draw closer. For one, I could taste the mana that thing was giving off. Blue raspberry, by the way. Not my favorite flavor in the whole wide world, but when you don't have a tongue, one tends to forget the shear novelty of being able to taste.
Secondly – and this was the real, primary reason I wanted nothing to do with the big glow-y ball – Lusca had wrapped itself around the pulsating orb, and, as soon as I had crested the top of the rock formation, had started giving me the evilest evil eye I had ever seen.
If looks could kill…
Shuddering despite myself, I slowly backed away. Letting myself rise up out of the lagoon, I decided that the ball of energy being hugged by a very angry octopus was a problem for future me.
I wonder if Wilhelm knows anything about that ball, or what it is. But, again, that is future me's problem.
Floating over to the shore nearest the shipwreck, I recalled the mental blueprints I had drafted earlier and conjured up a short walkway that protruded out over the water, wooden supports sprouting up to prevent its collapse. It cost me three mana, and I turned my attention to my … hm, what do I call that popup that displays my health and mana? My Status bar? My status bar. I turned my attention to the status bar.
For a long while, nothing happened. Then, just as I was about to give it up as a bad job and try to figure out why the mana regen wasn't happening, my mana level increased by one point. I sat and watched with bated breath as the mana bar slowly increased to fifty-nine, then on to sixty, and then stopped there.
When nothing further happened, I slowly nodded, deep in thought.
I think I may have the mana regeneration thing figured out.
It's like… it's like breathing in versus eating. You can only breath in so much before your lungs are full, while you can continue to eat after you are full, though if you eat too much in too short a time, you're likely to vomit. There was a considerable pause between placing that walkway and the start of the regeneration, which I think means that mana doesn't regenerate while mana is being spent. It makes sense: you can't breathe in and out at the same time, only one or the other.
I have to wonder, though. Why did my mana regenerate so slowly before? My mana regeneration was so negligible as to be nonexistent, to the point that I wager it would have taken at least a day to fully regenerate from nothing, if not longer. But now that I claimed the lagoon with the spring of mana within, what would have taken a day will probably only take an hour.
Argh, math. It never fails to give a headache.
Still, I can't help but to feel that I'm missing something. Hopefully I'll figure out what it is before too long, otherwise it's going to drive me crazy.
Sighing, I put the matter of my mana aside. I tried to figure things out and only came up with more questions. Story of my life.
Right, back to defacing the lagoon.
Accessing the construction menu, I floated a short distance to the north and placed down a square, nine-mana wooden platform, half on and half off the sand. Then, I connected that to the center of the walkway I built earlier, which cost another three mana.
I paused, looking at the walkway I'd just placed down. It's the exact same width as my previous walkway, and a third the width of the platform. Is it… Dammit, I don't have any hands to hold apart and estimate measurements with.
The sound of bouncing cannonballs crashed from the depths of the orlop deck, followed by the angry clatter of bones. Oh, that gives me an idea.
Tiny, I called. Tiny, come here! I need your hands!
There was a small commotion from the orlop deck, and then two skeletal hands flew out and landed in the sand, defying all rules of logic and biology by somehow staying together and not flying apart like the lack of connective tissue would suggest. Oh, goddammit.
Tiny, I called patiently. I need your hands with you still attached to them!
For a moment, there was silence, then wood began to creak. Stomping out into the sun, Tiny tromped over to his hands. He bent over and put his hands back on, mostly by just poking the palms with the ends of his ulna and radius, and then promptly continued lumbering in my direction. Finally, the wooden slats of the walkway creaked under Tiny's feet, the ogre of a skeleton stopping to stare down at me.
There was just one problem.
Tiny, I pointed out. Tiny, your hands are on the wrong arms.
Tiny just continued to stare at me.
I sighed, wishing for the bridge of a nose to pinch and a hand to pinch it with. Fix it please. If it didn't get fixed, it was going to bug me until… nyagh!
Silently, Tiny looked at his hands, then slowly took them off and put them back on right. Well, okay then.
Okay Tiny, I commanded. Put your hands on the sides of the walkway here, then, without changing the distance between your hands, bring them up to… I paused, taking in the skeleton's height. …Waist height, and hold them there.
If he had eyes, I'm pretty sure that Tiny would be blinking slowly right now. Still, the giant skeleton complied perfectly, bending over to put his hands on either side of the walkway, then straightening up to hold his hands before him at waist height.
Thank you, Tiny.
I studied the space between Tiny's hands. What is that, a meter? Why is my base unit of measurement the meter? I don't use metric, I'm an… I'm a… I'm from somewhere that doesn't use meters but…
Ugh… my head hurts again.
So, back to the measurements, it looks like one mana will buy a meter's worth of… well, whatever I'm building. I'm not sure why I didn't notice this earlier.
Meh, whatever.
Mentally dismissing Tiny, I turned away from the oversized skeleton and made for the end of the first walkway. Let's see, what was I going to put here again? Oh yeah.
Opening the construction menu again, I plopped down a two-meter by five-meter platform, centered on the end of the walkway in the middle of the long side.
Nodding to myself and humming a pleasant tune, I hovered over to the opposite end of the lagoon. Stopping in front of the gate, I placed down a five-meter long walkway out into the lagoon, protruding from the shore perpendicular to the gate. From there, I placed another five-meter walkway perpendicular to the first, offset from one end by a meter. Then, I added another walkway perpendicular to that one, though only two meters long this time, then I added another walkway perpendicular to that one, but this one was seven meters long, offset from the southern end by one meter.
Viewed from the south, it kind of looked like a lowercase µ with a line sticking out from it, almost as if someone was writing it out and jerked their pen to the side in surprise.
Stepping back, it looks good, but I still have nineteen mana to work with, and now that it regenerates at a respectable rate, I don't have to worry about running out of mana at an inopportune moment! Like getting attacked.
Wait, do I regenerate mana during an invasion? That might be important to find out.
But I'll worry about that later, because this little project of mine should help out on the defense front. Time to decorate!
So, let's open the construction menu, scroll down to the objects, and… oh hey, I have a category for stone construction. When did that happen?
First though, let's… let's… My train of thought trailed off as I looked across the lagoon. Tiny? Tiny, what are you doing?
Tiny was, as I had commanded, still standing there on the walkway, his hands held out at waist height. Didn't I dismiss him? No, I didn't actually say anything to him, did I?
Tiny, I called across the lagoon. You can stop now! Go… go back to your cannon!
Slowly, Tiny lowered his arms. Then, ponderously, Tiny turned and lumbered away back into the depths of the orlop deck.
Well, that happened. Now, where was I? Oh right, objects. Let's see, let's see… Ooh, a clothesline, that's perfect. I'll just plop it down lengthwise in the middle of the seven-meter walkway, and viola. No, that's still not it. Violets, violin… darn it.
When did I absorb a clothesline? Eh, whatever.
Well, that's the long walkway taken care of. Now let's go up north a bit to the shore. Hmm, what am I going to put over here? You know what, let's look at the rock construction.
[Stone Construction]
[Construct Stone Pillar: 2 Mana]
[Construct Stone Wall: 2 Mana]
[Construct Stone Door: 2 Mana]
[Construct Stone Floor: 2 Mana]
[Construct Stone Guard Tower: 30 Mana]
Excuse me, stone construction. Man, this stuff is more expensive than wood stuff. Makes sense, stone is more durable than wood. So, let's see… stone pillars, huh? I like those, let's get… hm… five.
Okay, the square platform is over there, so… let's put a pillar right over here in the sand directly across from the platform, and center it thusly. Okay, that looks good. Now, let's add a second pillar over here at the waterline. Then, take these two pillars, and put them against the outer wall here and here, though not too close and not actually touching the wall. Nice, okay. And finally, the last pillar will go, here, on this little outcropping of rock poking up out of the water.
And I hereby proclaim the Fort Kickass Shooting Range complete!
Well, mostly, I still need to install a cannon on the square platform to finish the artillery range portion, but… shooting range!
Over there on the two-meter by five-meter platform will be the gun range, where my skellies can practice their shooting, using random articles of clothing I summon up onto the clothesline. The square platform will be the artillery range, once mana regens enough to buy another cannon (the novelty of regenerating mana will never get old… maybe), where gun crews will use the five stone pillars to practice traversal and aiming.
And as a bonus, the whole thing doubles as a defensive line!
Giddy with excitement, I zipped across the lagoon and made a beeline for the shipwreck. I got to get Deadbeard out here with Mullroy and Murtogg. Course, I have to find them first.
You know, I should see if Wilhelm's done with the armory. I wonder what he'll think of the shooting range.
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