Dazed and Confused (Evangelion)

[SeptimusMagisto]

There was no hope.

Shinji and Asuka lived in the empty, deteriorating Japan on the shore of the lifeless red ocean. They had food and water, they had enough magazines and tapes to last a lifetime, and they had each other. But they had no hope for the future. Whatever either of them believed about Adam and Eve, they agreed that the human race couldn't start over from a pair of broken people like them.

This wasn't exactly what you'd call 'life.' At best it could be called existence. Perhaps even duration if you were feeling uncharitable. Two people having a not entirely unpleasant time, waiting for eventual death and with it the extinguishing of the human race.

It was really alright except for the existential angst.

There was plenty of that to go around, though. Shinji couldn't escape it if he tried. The desolate, lonely landscape of crumbling city blocks and crimson waves was an ever-present reminder of the Third Impact. By now grass had begun breaking through the pavement and the cats and dogs that managed to break out of their apartments were creating a kind of ecosystem. In a decade or two the metal around the city would corrode and Tokyo-3 would probably crash through into the remains of the Geofront. The other cities would have a more dignified death, slowly crumbling and overgrowing and remaining as features of the background for a long time to come.

Shinji didn't like to think about the cities. He didn't really like to think about the ocean, either. But he came to the shore most evenings, just around the time the sun set. That way he could pretend that the red-orange waves were supposed to look that way and not think about the bodies that colored it. He could pretend that the wonderful, chaotic, joyful and terrible world that produced him still existed and that if he just turned around and walked he would eventually come to Misato's apartment and find her still there. And he could visit the Geofront and see Rei and even his father and literally anyone other than himself or Asuka.

Shinji picked up a pebble and tossed it at the ocean. Predictably, the pebble failed to bounce and sank the moment it touched the surface.

"Why did it all turn out like this?" he asked the universe.

There was no answer save for the lapping of the waves against the rocks.

"It shouldn't have been like that. We won. Against the Angels, we won!"

Shinji was well aware that he was talking to himself. That didn't bother him, since trying not to do that would cut down the number of potential conversation partners in half.

"What was I supposed to do?"

The answer was obviously literally anything other than mope in a corner. But Shinji retained enough objectivity to know he'd been broken back then. He refused to accept the whole thing as his fault.

But it still hurt.

"I could do it now," he complained. "If I had another chance, I would do it all much better. We wouldn't be so alone."

Shinji threw another pebble. It sank again.

"I wish I could go back. Go back and change it."

In front of Shinji the red ocean rose.

The waves swirled and boiled and rose up and up and up. The Tang shed water on its way up, slowly coalescing into a gargantuan figure as Shinji's panicked screaming subsided.

With a distinct squelching noise, the red fluid turned blue, forming into a blue two-torsoed giant. he grinning faces of Rei and Kaworu stared down at him with eyes the size of Tokyo-3.

Shinji seriously considered resuming screaming.

Hands with fingers like the mountains stretched forward to grasp Shinji. At that moment an appalling realization crashed its way into Shinji's mind: his wish was being granted. The collective human consciousness that once wore the Tang as its bodies was not quite uniform. Certain parts of its mind were dominant. And those parts loved him very much.

"H-hi!" he said.

And then there was singing. Shinji was all but pressed into the ground by the sheer force of three billion voices singing the familiar words of the Ode of Joy, most of them going just far enough off-key to make the words indistinguishable. The massive fingers stopped, their shadow turning day into night.

The featureless surface of one of the giant's finger shuddered, then formed a lump which grew into a tentacle about as thick across as Shinji's torso. It extended towards him with only a slight deviation from course here or there to add some curves.

"Can you really take me back?"

The tentacle grew arms and a face to turn into the face of Rei Ayanami, intimately familiar to Shinji except for the mad grin it wore, a twin of the giant face far above.

"Hi, Rei," it said something about Shinji's life that this felt like return to familiar territory.

She extended a slim hand, about the size the real Rei would be expected to have. It seemed comically small compared to the one Rei herself was attached to.

"I won't run away, Rei. Never again."

Rei patted his hair. Then she grasped his hand with her own and pulled him close.

"Um, Rei? You understand what I want, right? I want to go back, not become one with you. Are we clear on that?"

Rei hugged him more tightly and let her arms fuse together behind his back.

"Rei? Kaworu?"

The giant hand above began moving.

Shinji decided to assume he was being understood and tried to remember the first thing he'd said to his father. It would probably be a bad idea to seem out of character.

The acceleration of the ascending hand continued to build up. With a single motion Shinji was being lifted above the atmosphere proper and into the realm of satellites and cosmic rays.

At the point of maximum ascent Rei's lips mouthed the word 'bye.' Or possibly the words 'good luck.' Or any words, really. Shinji was never great at lip reading, and the situation wasn't making it any easier.

And then Rei let go and Shinji was a twinkle in the sky.

 

[SeptimusMagisto]

What's wrong?

The first thing Shinji noticed was the feel of the telephone in his hand.

The second was the sound of the cicadas.

And then he started giggling.

He remembered today.

Today was the day it all began. In a couple of seconds the telephone would be incredibly unhelpful. In a couple of minutes he would be picked up by Misato. Then there would be the N2 mine – he'd have to remember to dodge that, it would just be embarrassing to die that way after getting this far – and then he would confront his father and fight the Angel.

He could see these events as clearly as the buildings around him. He could feel Time as surely as the telephone in his hand. And when he looked into the distance, he could see other events. He could see Asuka's arrival, Misato's promotion, and being praised by his father; likewise he saw Asuka's mindrape, Toji's body being broken, Rei's death, and finally the end of all things sitting at the very edge of Time, like a blood-red horizon of pain and confusing symbology.

Obviously some of these events weren't going to happen this time around if he could help it. He wouldn't follow the same road. He could take different turns, skip dangerous dead ends, and once he got close to the end of the road he would skid sharply away. And the journey wouldn't end at the horizon. Instead the new road would lead to a brighter place. A place where Asuka, Rei, Misato, Toji, and even his father were all alive and undamaged. A place where he wouldn't have to face his failure every day.

That was the plan, anyway.

***​

"Please, Shinji."

This was not part of the plan.

Up until now it had been going well. He met Misato just like last time and played dumb. He successfully avoided getting vaporized by the explosion and ended up at the base.

Things began getting a little weird from there on out. He'd been trying to think of a way to subtly redirect Misato so that they wouldn't spend precious time wandering around the Geofront, but she headed in precisely the right direction all on her own.

At the time it hadn't seemed so bad. He was sure that as hard as he tried, several of the words in his conversation probably got mixed up, so things were already changing. Maybe something he said just jogged Misato's memory. Or at least that's what he told himself.

The part that came next should have been straightforward. He remembered this moment very well – the first confrontation with his father in years. The first time he'd ever agreed to pilot an Eva. It was perfectly crystallized in his mind. And he'd spent most of the trip figuring out ways to change it. He needed to keep sounding like Shinji Ikari, but he figured he could get away with a lot of backtalk. It would be good to establish a more assertive personality early on so that when he began to really change things later on in the timeline it wouldn't look suspicious.

Well, the conversation was being changed, alright, but it wasn't from his end.

"Shinji, if you don't pilot the Evangelion, we won't survive. I hate to ask this of you, but if you don't help us, we will all die. All humans everywhere will be dead. Can you really let that happen?"

"Father?"

It was a dumb thing to say, but Shinji was stunned enough to not care. This was not at all how the conversation went last time. Gendo Ikari was asking him to do this. Not assuming that he would do it, not trying to cow him with force of personality alone, just asking.

This would be kind of nice if Shinji wasn't going into total panic mode. He was sure he hadn't done anything to warrant a total change in his father's demeanor yet. He'd been looking forward to using future knowledge to outmaneuver Gendo, but that didn't work if the future suddenly went and changed on him.

"We have only one other pilot. And she…well, you'd better see for yourself."

At least one thing hadn't changed. His father was still a master of emotional blackmail. Shinji watched Rei being wheeled in, unmoving and bandaged. His heart gave a slight pang. The last time through he'd been so preoccupied with his own fear he failed to notice just how much discomfort she h ad to be in. She deserved better than this. And he was determined…

Rei winked at him.

"She's really in no shape to fight. Please, Shinji. We need your help."

"Yeah…sure."

"You will fight?"

"Sure. Fine. Whatever."

Shinji allowed himself to be taken away and put into the Evangelion. He really didn't care right then. Not about anything. The only thing he could see was the eyelid closing over a red iris, then opening again. It was a tiny gesture that rocked the very foundations of his world. He could just barely imagine a scenario in which his father was polite. He couldn't think of one where Rei winked.

Shinji felt existential angst rushing back. Just an hour ago he'd have given anything for the chance to get his world back. But he didn't get his world. He got an approximation; one with a polite Father, a Misato who could find her way around the base, and a winking Rei. Did they have the Shinji they expected? Or was he supposed to be an encyclopedia-toting badass in this timeline?

Shinji honestly looked forward to the Third Angel. At least that would be simple.

Because he never wasted the time wandering around in circles or arguing about the Evangelions, he found himself emerging when the Angel was still far away. The UN forces had just barely given up on firing at the thing.

Shinji wondered what he could get away with here. He didn't kid himself about being an unstoppable Angel-killing machine, but he was much better than the scared boy who stepped into the Eva for the first time. He could manage this fight without going berserk – that much he was sure of. The question was how much expertise he could afford to show, and, more importantly, how much he could afford to hold back in the face of a legitimate enemy. The thing to do was not die, either because he lost to an Angel or because someone on the human side suspected him too hard.

Well, he'd just have to play it by ear, that's all.

***​

The first time Shinji went through the battle with the Third Angel he'd spent the next day in the hospital. That didn't happen this time.

This time he had to stay in the hospital for two weeks.

The fight hadn't been a fight this time around. Not really. The Angel took one look at him, jumped across half the city, and detonated its own core right on top of Shinji. After Shinji blacked out, Unit 01 went berserk and smashed things until the power ran out. NERV was forced to remotely eject the plug, which didn't really help with the injuries.

So he ended up in bed with several hairline fractures, a concussion, and quite a bit of psychosomatic damage.

Shinji was sure there was a lesson in there somewhere. Something about how he shouldn't underestimate Angels, or how things might turn out not only differently than he remembered them, but even actively worse.

The only thing he was prepared to learn from this was that hospital ceilings didn't get any better even when they stopped being unfamiliar.

On the plus side, once his head stopped hurting whenever he was awake, he had a lot of time to think. Whatever expectations he'd had were obviously shattered by now. He could no longer rely on his knowledge of the future to be accurate. Worse, he couldn't rely on the people he thought he knew to act normally.

That was fine. Well, maybe not fine, but definitely acceptable. The first time he'd arrived here he hadn't known anyone either. And even if his entire knowledge of the future was wrong, he at least knew how to pilot now. And he knew just a little more about people.

Also, things seemed only subtly different at best. Father, Rei, Misato, and even Doctor Akagi all seemed to occupy the same positions. From what little research he'd been able to do covertly, his own history seemed the same. As long as he acted like his past self, he probably wouldn't attract suspicion.

It wasn't everything he'd hoped for when he begged to come back. But it would have to do. The plan was still on, if in a highly modified form.

He was still going to save the world.

***​

Eventually they let him out of the hospital, just a few days before Rei was due to check out. It was getting uncomfortably close to the arrival of the Fourth Angel, assuming the thing actually bothered to show up on time. And it gave him very little time to make a better first impression on his classmates.

"You okay, Shinji?"

Misato's voice snapped him out of his reverie.

"I'm fine."

"Glad to be out of the hospital at last, huh?"

"Yeah. I've been looking forward to settling in at the apartment."

Shinji was sure he saw Misato's eyes flash. If he were someone else, he might have known if they flashed with regret or excitement or maybe understanding. But because he was Shinji Ikari, he really had no idea what she was feeling. Therefore he really didn't expect what came next.

"So you heard then! You have your own quarters right here at the base!"

Shinji felt his world shatter.

"You'll be okay by yourself, right?" Misato asked, apparently concerned.

"Sure. Living alone is…fine by me."

It wasn't.

It really, really wasn't.

Misato's apartment was one of the things he'd missed the most after the Third Impact. It was also one of the things he'd been looking forward to on his return. It was messy and noisy and cramped, and there was hardly any privacy there. But he could remember being genuinely happy there. There had been times when he felt safe and complete and even connected to others.

He wanted to feel that way again.

It wasn't fair for him to lose his chance so quickly.

Even knowing what he did about the differences in the timeline, he'd still assumed he'd get to live with Misato. Now he was desperately wondering why that belief had turned out to be wrong. Was it ever even a possibility with this Misato? Or had something he'd done changed it already? Maybe she'd just had more time to get used to the news with him in the hospital. Maybe he somehow seemed more like he could handle himself alone.

Maybe his life was ruined.

***​

Shinji stared at the wall.

The wall was perfectly blank.

The entire apartment was perfectly blank.

Shinji's mind was perfectly blank too.

The only thing Shinji wanted to think about was that this would be the room he would wake up in every morning. An impeccably clean and depressingly unfamiliar room. A room in an apartment that would never have Misato or Asuka living in it.

Coincidentally, that was also the one thing Shinji absolutely refused to think about. So he just didn't think about anything at all.

The place Shinji found himself in was conductive to not thinking. The room was impeccably clean to the point of sterility. It didn't even smell of anything. There weren't any clocks or windows anywhere. The walls were even soundproofed. Shinji was entirely cut off from the outside world. Without any external cues, he quickly lost all sense of time passing. A minute felt the same as an hour. And however much time passed, he continued to just sit and stare straight ahead.

Shinji's fingers felt like they were draped in cotton. His eyes didn't feel the need to blink. Everything just felt completely numb, which was preferable to what Shinji was sure he would feel if he allowed himself to feel anything at all. So he just shut the world away and looked straight ahead, not seeing anything.

If he could feel surprise, he would be surprised at how good he was at this.

An unknown amount of time later, there was a single sharp knock on the door.

Something inside Shinji was startled. He desperately attempted to withdraw again but was unable to stop from blinking. His shoulders slumped and he began feeling numbness in his legs.

A still-unknown but certainly short time later there was another knock. If it was possible for a single note to sound impatient, this one did.

"Come in."

You really only got this particular tone of voice in NERV. The kind that said 'come in' but made it clear that what it really meant was 'you're going to come in and there is nothing I can do to either encourage or prevent it' all without changing in pitch or tone. The kinds of people who could use that voice just naturally gravitated towards NERV.

So did the kind of people who could ignore that tone of voice. Gendo Ikari opened the door and walked in.

The shock was more than strong enough to snap Shinji all the way back into the world of the living.

"Father! What…what are you doing here?"

"I came to see how you were doing," answered Gendo with an entirely straight face.

Shinji didn't know how to answer. The silence stretched on and on. Shinji tried to think of something to say but all he came up with was a desperate wish for some cicadas.

"Shinji," Gendo said the word and then took a pause that stretched long enough to unnerve any normal person, "how do you feel about living on your own?"

Shinji had a lot of feelings on the subject, most of them extremely negative. And he was just barely prepared to admit as much to himself. But even if he were willing to share those thoughts with his father – in itself an unlikely event – how could he possibly explain everything?

"It's…what I'm used to."

Another pause.

"It's been a long time since we've seen each other," remarked Gendo.

Shinji bit back the bile rising inside him.

"I don't think I really know you…my son."

Possibly Gendo Ikari was expecting his son to use that opportunity to share something about himself. Instead, a panicked Shinji was forced to change the subject, and fast.

"I will still pilot the Eva."

"What?" Gendo was successfully thrown off-course. This conversational track was unexpected, but it was something Shinji Ikari might talk about if he didn't go through what Shinji went through.

"Fighting the Angel…it hurt. But I will continue piloting the Eva. It's what I want."

And if Shinji could judge such things, he might have decided that the smile appearing behind the Commander's beard was genuine.

"Thank you, Shinji."

Another silence. Shockingly, this one was sort of comfortable.

"Shinji?"

"Yes?"

"I want you to realize that you aren't just helping me by doing this. Humanity as a whole has a use for you."

Was this the track he was trying this time around? Shinji wasn't prepared to believe it.

There was a quiet gasp beyond the door.

The simultaneous, stiff turns of their respective necks revealed the other visitor to Shinji and Gendo. Misato Katsuragi stood in the hallway with a small potted plant under her armpit.

"Sorry about that," she stuttered out. "I…wasn't expecting to find you here, Commander."

"Hi…Misato," Shinji couldn't resist blushing.

"I guess it really shouldn't be that surprising. It's only natural for parents and children to talk to each other, after all. I'll just leave this here, okay? Okay!"

The two Ikaris watched her rush down the hall.

"Natural."

Gendo Ikari was attempting to formulate a complex thought.

"It may be natural for parents and children. But I don't think it's natural for me and you."

"You're right."

Well, he was.

"Shinji," another pause, this one not comfortable at all. "Do you fear me?"

"Yes."

It felt shockingly good to admit it.

"I see," Gendo Ikari stared straight ahead, his hands gripping his knees uncomfortably. "Shinji, I…fear you too."

Silence.

"I am afraid of the pain you can cause me, and the pain I can cause you. That is why I sent you away."

What.

"I still am afraid. And for good reasons. The kind of relationship that a father and son are supposed to have…will not be the relationship that we will have."

Shinji nodded. He wanted to think something sarcastic, but sarcasm was failing him at this critical juncture.

"I don't know what we will have. But it will have to be something that avoids the risk of pain. It is not a risk I can accept."

"Me neither."

"Well, that's that then."

Gendo Ikari got up.

"We'll see what happens, Shinji. Goodnight."

"Goodnight…father."

And then Shinji was alone again. Checking to make sure the door was closed, he fell back in his bed and stared at the ceiling instead of a wall. Somehow it felt different.

"Is that supposed to make it okay?" Shinji asked the universe. This time around he was pretty sure no-one was actually listening. "Is that supposed to make up for everything?"

The way Shinji saw it, the man to whom he'd just finished speaking either was the same father from his own timeline or he wasn't. If he was, then he was the person who would kill Toji with Shinji's own hands to get what he wanted. None of his words could be trusted. They could be lies – or they could be the exact truth, told specifically to manipulate him into doing what Gendo wanted. If he wasn't, then Shinji had just talked to a stranger who still couldn't be trusted – which on the balance of things wasn't actually all that different from talking to his own father.

The part of Shinji Ikari that still remembered the ruined cities and the red oceans violently rejected contact with his father and wanted to chalk up this conversation to another bout of manipulation.

The part that remembered riding in a train until the train refused to go on, totally alone in a crowd of noisy strangers, wanted nothing more than to connect with Gendo Ikari. It was prepared to take the risk.

After a pained internal staredown, both parts eventually gave up, with power defaulting to the compromise part that thought life might turn out okay after all if he could get more agreeable people to visit his apartment.

Encountering no arguments from opposition, this part of Shinji quickly carried a motion to get some food and go to bed in hopes of finding someone like that at school the next morning.

***​

Shinji seriously wondered if he could get homeschooled instead. The answer was probably yes, since NERV had both the resources to make it happen and the willingness to keep him closer to the Evangelions. But that would mean never having a legitimate reason to leave the base, which would arguably be even worse than this.

But really, how was anyone supposed to act interested while going through the same curriculum for the second time if that curriculum was duller than dishwater in the first place?

Inevitably, Shinji reached the same conclusion that a good portion of any student body anywhere arrived at much sooner.

He decided to ignore the school material entirely and focus on networking.

Admittedly, he was a little apprehensive about the whole thing. But other people did it all the time without even partial future knowledge, so there was no reason he couldn't.

Right?

He started off with what he thought of as a soft target. From what he remembered about her, Hikari always seemed very mild. How different could things be?

After spending fifteen minutes agonizing and resisting the urge to throw up, Shinji finally approached her.

"Hi. You're…Hikari Horaki, right? The class representative?"

She turned around. Shinji had never seen anyone's eyes look this haunted. She smiled in a way that was distinctly broken.

"Yes! I am…a class representative," Hikari stammered out, "And…I am here to help!"

"Let us do it, Rep!"

Shinji stared at Toji and Kensuke appearing over Hikari's shoulders. She looked freaked out. They looked enthusiastic.

"Yeah! Anything to help the resident pilot!"

What.

That knowledge wasn't supposed to be public. Not until somebody asked him and he stupidly answered, which he hadn't been planning on this time.

What was happening?!

Kensuke had apparently noticed Shinji's confusion, because he proceeded to elbow Toji in the gut.

"Obviously we know you're a pilot because come on, we get a mysterious transfer student so soon after a giant robot battle happens? No way that's a coincidence!"

"Okay, I buy that."

Shinji didn't buy that.

"But if you tell anyone we told you, we're all in big, big trouble! So…please don't tell anyone," announced Kensuke.

"Oh! You're a…pilot? How…nice," Hikari's smile was broken again.

"Are…you okay?" Shinji was forced to ask.

"Fine! I just…miss my dog, that's all."

Did Hikari have a dog? Shinji honestly didn't know. He didn't exactly pay her a ton of attention the first time around and he didn't really include her in any of his plans either. She always seemed…tangential. But maybe that needed to change now. This Hikari looked like the sort of person who would do dangerous and painful things with meat cleavers if provoked. Or unprovoked.

Shinji decided that maybe making friends at school could wait.

***​

Somewhere in the depths of NERV Gendo Ikari stood in a pitch-dark room lit only by a single spotlight shining from directly overhead and the gentle glow of a dozen holographic monoliths. They hid (poorly) the identities of the twelve men who directed most major world events and were the main reason he couldn't simply do as he liked.

The monolith bearing the numbers 01 spoke up first in the voice of Lorenz Keel – the leader of both SEELE and the Committee on Human Instrumentality, and the single most powerful man in history.

"Ikari. It's impressive that your son unleashed the beast within the Evangelion. It would be more impressive if there was an Angel to be savaged instead of a city block."

"We didn't expect the Angel to suicide bomb us."

"Yeah, that was interesting. I'm looking forward to seeing how this ends. Tell me, Ikari, with your limited perspective, how does it look to you?"

"The Children…" began Gendo before being interrupted by Keel.

"Stop right there!"

"What?"

"Now, this is important, Ikari. First of all, don't move. Second of all, look at your hands. I mean, really look at them."

Gendo Ikari stared at his hands. Unconsciously he'd formed them into a steeple as he did so frequently.

"Every time you do that thing with your hands, the rest of us end up screwed over, Ikari. Every. Single. Time."

Gendo didn't answer. He did, however, carefully separate his hands.

"See, that's a step in the right direction. Do something else with your hands. Really, anything else. Stick them into your pockets, keep them on your desk, maybe get some of those little stress relief toys. I don't care. But if I ever see the fingers of your right hand touch the fingers of your left again, you will be transferred to the bottom of the ocean before you can so much as imagine pulling a fast one against us. I'm not joking, Ikari. I am deadly serious."

"Understood," Gendo growled.

"Lovely. Watch yourself, Ikari, because you know we will. Now that the Angels are here, a new era of responsibility has arrived. Things are really going to change around here."

And with that the monoliths winked out.

 

[SeptimusMagisto]

Let it (Rei)n over me

Rei was still alone.

Something told Shinji that he was a terrible person to be happy about that. But he didn't think he could deal with it if she weren't. He was quickly losing every tie to the world he'd come back to recapture. He already lost Misato, though he desperately hoped he might yet recapture her. If he lost Rei or Asuka, he was sure he wouldn't survive. It wasn't possible to fight Angels without really wanting to be alive, deep down in the very core of one's being. And he couldn't keep that desire without having someone to live for.

He was caught staring again. He expected to be. The other students were paying even more attention to him, and he was doing a lot more actual staring this time around.

"So…Ayanami, huh?" Kensuke's face was over Shinji's shoulder again. "Nice taste!"

"It's not like that," protested Shinji. He didn't bother to turn his head, though. If he was going to get teased for staring at Rei, he was damn well going to earn it.

"Sure it's not," Kensuke's voice lacked the compliance his words suggested.

"Betcha it's really not," Toji emerged over Shinji's other shoulder. "Rei's got a hot body, but she's really quiet. Shinji is the kind of guy who would prefer someone more extroverted."

Shinji could physically feel his ears twitch.

"You're crazy! Ayanami is exactly Shinji's type!" responded Kensuke.

"Yeah, right. I'm right, you'll see."

"No, you'll see."

Rei turned around.

Shinji tore his eyes away. Something in the back of his head told him to do the opposite and lock gazes with her. He dismissed the notion as one of the ramblings of a masochistic mind.

"She's just…so alone," he all-but-whispered.

"Yeah, but she's always been alone," noted Toji from the bushes. He and Kensuke automatically dove in there to avoid Rei's eyes.

"Yeah, that's Rei. A great, big loner. Though I get the feeling she won't be all that alone for very much longer!" Kensuke was determined to help. He wasn't.

Shinji sighed and got up.

"Hey…where are you going?"

"Away," he answered.

"It's the middle of gym class!"

"I don't care."

Really, what were they going to do? Throw him out of school? Shinji knew he had to fear Gendo Ikari and possibly quite a few others. School authorities? Not so much.

***​

Shinji didn't just skip out on gym. At first he'd just been exasperated, but as time passed he decided he was feeling rebellious. Big things were happening and he had better things to do than sit in a stuffy classroom listening to false information disseminated by well-meaning people.

Things like sit outside in a tree.

It was a good spot. A branch was curled in precisely the right way that he could lie down on it and be unseen. He divided his time between staring into the leafy canopy while listening to the activity right below him, taking light naps, and feeling mildly sorry for himself.

It was different from the day he watched the wall of his room. He didn't feel empty, and he wasn't keeping any particular unhappiness at bay. But he still felt a little lost and it was easier to just admit it and wallow in it than to try to find answers.

Eventually the intermittent chatter going on under his tree simply ceased. Checking his watch, Shinji determined that classes were over and had been over for at least half an hour. He wondered whether it would be okay to stay where he was or if it would be more prudent to walk back to the base and continue the pity party there.

"There you are!"

Busted.

"Come down from there, Ikari!"

Shinji reluctantly turned over, grasped the branch with his hands, and successfully let himself drop to the ground without any comedic accidents. He stared at Hikari Horaki. She looked approximately half as accusing as he would expect her to.

"Do you know that it's my duty as Class Representative to find out why you were absent from all of your afternoon classes?"

Shinji considered apologizing. He considered turning around and simply walking away and dealing with the consequences later. But in the end he decided he was just desperate enough to try something else.

"Hikari? Do you know anything about…Rei Ayanami?"

"Heh-heh, I'm sure I'm not the best person to ask about Ayanami," Hikari stuttered out nervously, "Have you tried asking someone else?"

"Are you…okay?" Shinji dared to ask, visions of meat cleavers dancing in his mind.

"Yes, thank you. I…will be fine. Really! It's just that things are changing and I don't really understand anything."

"I know how you feel," answered Shinji.

"Really don't think you do."

"Really think I do."

Shinji stared at her forehead. He was sure she was staring back. For several seconds they maintained the deliberate and forceful lack of eye contact. Then they reached a kind of unspoken understanding.

"Maybe you do," admitted Hikari. "I…don't know you. But if I did know you, I'd say you will probably be okay."

"Right," in order for that one little word to express what he really wanted it to, Shinji had to reach into the depths of sarcasm he had only ever seen Asuka plumb.

"I mean it. I knew…someone who I am sure is a lot like you. And I know that if he were lost like you and I are, he wouldn't just mope around like I've been doing. He would find himself again. He would find out what was happening. So I think…I think that maybe I've been going around like this for too long. I may not know what's going on, but that just means I have to find out! And then everything will be okay again. Don't you think so, Shinji?"

"Shinji?"

Shinji could see Time again.

He could see his first real encounter with Rei, a little more than a week away. He could feel the shape of it as if the ID card were already in his hands. And then he felt it slip away. There were too many factors. The encounter would happen…provided this universe's Doctor Akagi was just as forgetful as the one from his home. Provided Rei didn't make a move to pick up her own ID card. Provided the ID card would even change at the same time. Provided, in fact, that they both survived the Fourth Angel.

It could be just like Misato's apartment all over again. He could lose Rei without ever meeting her.

Screw that.

***​

Shinji rang the doorbell.

He was absolutely and utterly determined to meet Rei Ayanami properly. Not next week, and not after the next Angel battle, but right now.

That did not mean he was prepared to make the same mistake as last time. Not doing that was the whole idea of the thing, after all.

He waited for long seconds, the sound of the cicadas droning on and on in the background. The first time through he had associated that sound with loneliness. Somehow it seemed much more comforting now. Like a familiar melody sang by the friendly city for him alone.

Then the door opened and the cicadas were suddenly the last thing on his mind.

"Hello, Ikari."

Shinji applied every ounce of will he had to keep blood from spilling out his nose.

Rei was naked again. Not even a towel this time. She was standing in the door and she was naked for some unfathomable reason and she looked vaguely happy without smiling in the way that only Rei could.

With another exertion of will, he forced his eyes closed. It didn't really help; the image was burned onto his retinas.

On the bright side, he could verify that Rei was physically the same as she'd been before. And she apparently had just as little respect for social conventions.

That was a step in what was arguably a right direction.

"Is this a bad time?"

"No."

Beat.

"If you come in, I will dress myself."

It was a deal he was happy to accept.

Once inside, Shinji carefully forced himself to keep looking away as Rei dressed. At least this time he managed to avoid falling all over her. Thank God for small miracles.

"You're not wearing your cast anymore," he noted. As far as he remembered, Rei still had a sling at this point in his timeline.

"I heal quickly. I will be ready to help you when the next Angel comes."

And that was new.

"Do you want tea?" she asked.

There was a kettle in the room. Had it been there last time? Shinji honestly couldn't remember. Other things had occupied his mind.

"No, thank you."

He was fully expecting to be surprised at some point in the conversation, so having hot liquids bandied about was a bad idea.

He wondered what he should say next. He'd gotten this far on sheer willpower, which was good enough to carry him through the doors, but pretty useless at suggesting conversation topics.

Maybe he could ask her why she answered the door while undressed. He was pretty sure even his Rei wouldn't do that, even this early on.

Or maybe he could never, ever bring it up ever again. That seemed like a better idea.

Rei wasn't saying anything. She was just standing there and staring at him. And she could certainly outwait him.

Shinji tried desperately to think of a nice, neutral question. The kind of question people used in smalltalk when becoming friends.

"Why do you pilot the Eva?"

That wasn't it.

"Because this world is precious," Rei answered without missing a beat.

"Explain, please," Shinji asked. It felt blunt, but if you didn't want to be left with short cryptic phrases, you had to be blunt with Rei.

"This world is beautiful. The earth, sea, and even the sky teem with life. Humans build cities in which they create art and do science. I study it from here and it is beautiful. To know the world is to love it. And because I love the world, I fight to protect it."

It was a good answer. Just not the answer he would expect Rei to give.

"Oh. To be honest…I feel the same way," Shinji blushed. "I also want to protect the world. To protect those close to me, especially."

"I see. Is this why you came here? To ask me why I pilot the Evangelion?"

"No! Or..sort of. That's part of it, but not all of it."

"Then what is the rest of it?"

"I really don't know," Shinji half-lied. "All I know is that you're a pilot just like I am. So if any people can understand each other ever, it has to be us. And…and I want to know you. And to be your friend."

Shinji felt like someone jumping off a cliff. This was not the sort of thing he usually did. But he was willing to risk it. To have Rei as a friend – any Rei – would be worth any risk.

"So…you came here today because you wanted to make a connection? With me?" Rei's brow was creased.

"Yeah. I guess I did."

Shinji was not expecting the tackle hug.

Now he was sprawled on the ground. Rei Ayanami was on top of him, her arms desperately squeezing him with shocking strength. Her cheek was pressed to his own, her face unbelievably hot.

This was still less uncomfortable than the last time.

"Rei?"

"Quiet."

What.

"Just…don't talk for a minute. After that I will get up and make proper connections with you. Sorry."

"It's…okay?"

Shinji carefully patted her back. This was going to be weird.

But it was worth it.

***​

Up in the Commander's office there was no light; there was no darkness; only eternal twilight and long shadows that made the man behind the desk look like the statue of a more humanoid sort of god hewn from rough granite.

Gendo Ikari went through the papers on his desk with mechanical precision. This room was a processing center second only to the MAGI in its scope and he was the processor. Data about Angels; data about Children; data about money and personnel and armament; everything made its way to the Commander's desk before being sent onward.

One could learn a lot here if one paid proper attention.

The documents all suggested that extraordinary things were afoot. Well, the Angels had returned. These were extraordinary times. Still, those who concerned themselves with information flow were flagging things. The Third Angel proved to be suicidal, and someone out there was in charge of coming up with countermeasures. Strange things were happening in America, Europe and China; those who wrote the reports had no way of inferring that the men who ran the world had their hands all over the manipulations. The budget was being raised with no questions asked or strings attached. Gendo Ikari greedily drank up the information.

Somewhere in the shadows behind him Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki stood like a statue. It was all part of the routine. The routine of two men who worked well together and even got along but who never, ever allowed themselves to trust each other. Gendo Ikari had a plan to kill Fuyutsuki should it ever become necessary. He knew that Fuyutsuki knew about this plan and that Fuyutsuki knew that he knew about Fuyutsuki's plan to do the same. If anyone suggested that this should somehow hamper their working relationship, both of them would be quite surprised. How else could anyone run anything?

A particular line item attracted the Commander's attention.

"What's this?"

Fuyutsuki emerged from the shadows to look over the Commander's shoulder.

"Rei seems to be requesting a one-time allocation of funds. For the purposes of…expanding her wardrobe."

The next minute passed in absolute silence. There were places where someone who had no idea what the hell was going on would say so. This was not such a place.

"It will be granted," Gendo decided.

"That's a nice gesture," Fuyutsuki kept his face perfectly neutral. "You've been making a lot of effort to connect with the pilots lately."

"The Children are only children, after all," Gendo was just as perfectly neutral. "Their egos are fragile. We have more to gain by making reasonable concessions than by being unnecessarily harsh."

"So all this kindness…it's just a plot to gain the pilots' favor?"

"Human beings respond to how they are treated by those around them. If the Children are treated as disposable tools they will realize it and turn on us. But if they are given respect, they will serve our goals willingly."

That wasn't technically an answer to Fuyutsuki's question and they both knew it. But Fuyutsuki would never say so, and they both knew that too.

"Now, look at this report," Gendo picked up another paper. "Can you see what SEELE is doing with the numbers here?"

And the routine reasserted itselfl.

***​

Shinji finally had someone to visit him at his apartment.

Rei didn't hug him again, or even touch him. She never explained why she acted the way she did on that day, and Shinji never asked. He was happy enough just to have her back in his life.

They spent a lot of time together now. Whenever they both had an hour or two free from training, school, or sleep one of them would find the other. She always seemed satisfied to be near him.

Shinji's first plans for Rei included getting her out of the shell she'd lived her life in. But this Rei, while similar in many ways to the one he remembered, never seemed as lost. She had her own initiative – something his Rei had to learn over long and painful months. She was also more expressive. Her smiles and frowns were muted, but there were far more of them. She could make her feelings known. In many ways she seemed more alive than he ever remembered seeing Rei.

But she was still quiet like Rei was, and she still moved like she was supposed to. And whenever he looked at her, his entire being told him that she was the same reliable girl with a shockingly big heart who, if given the chance, would try to bestow unto him infinite power.

It was close enough, he decided. She was still Rei and she was here. He would accept the differences. He would become her friend. And he would never, ever let anything bad happen to her. He owed at least that much to her.

"Shinji?"

Whoops. Shinji was learning the hard way that it wasn't a good idea to think deep thoughts in the middle of conversations.

"Sorry about that. What did you say just now?"

"I asked how you felt about your father."

Shinji closed his eyes. There were no cicadas to fill in the silence here in the heart of NERV, so he had limited time in which to sort through his chaotic feelings and think of an appropriate response that didn't betray his travel from the future.

"Father is…less distant than I thought he would be," Shinji began spinning a web of half-truths. "I haven't heard from him in a very long time, so it's strange when he talks to me now. I don't know how to feel."

"I think you will know soon," Rei was smiling again. It wasn't a wide smile, but her lips were quite obviously upturned. "Commander Ikari can seem distant. But I believe that he cares for you."

Shinji wondered if she was right. Was this version of Gendo Ikari as different-yet-similar from the version he'd left behind as Rei was from herself? Did he genuinely care about Shinji or was he simply trying to make him into a more lethal weapon somehow?

"I guess you would know. He raised you, right?"

The smile disappeared. Rei's eyes grew ever-so-slightly wider. If the Ayanami scale of emotion still applied at all, this was genuine distress.

"Yes. Commander Ikari raised me. But he was distant from me too. I don't think of him as my father. He is Commander Ikari. That's all."

"That's all?" Shinji asked. He really hadn't expected anything different, but it was still interesting to hear her thoughts on the issue.

"That's enough," the smile was back.

"I think you may be right," Shinji was carefully spinning a conversational web again. "I think that Father may care. But I think that he is also very dangerous. Even to you and me. I think that if he felt he had to…he would sacrifice both of us for his plans."

There. A confession of sorts. Now if it turned out that he was right and she was wrong and this reality's Gendo Ikari was still planning something sinister, maybe there would be an early seed of doubt in her mind.

"Yes. If one of us had to die to destroy an Angel, then he would order it," Rei nodded. "But I would be the one he would sacrifice, not you. And if I die, I can be replaced."

Oh, yeah. She was Rei, all right.

"Don't say that! You can't think like that. You are precious, Rei. Don't do anything to risk yourself like that!"

It was way too early to say things like that. He was supposed to hardly know her yet. But he didn't care. That sort of attitude got her killed the last time around. And when she was brought back, she wasn't exactly the same. What if the next time something happened to her she wasn't replicated with the right memories?

For some reason his statement seemed to get the same reaction from her as hers did from him. Shinji only noticed that he'd grasped her hand when Rei reversed the grasp. Her eyes bore into his. Shinji gulped. He never could handle the intensity of her stares.

"Shinji. This is important. If something happens to me, you mustn't risk anything to save me. Protect the world, that's all. I'll be fine."

And how could he argue against that? All Rei knew was that she had many lives to throw away for the cause. She had no idea what complications that cause held, or what dangers dying held for her. And he couldn't begin to argue without revealing just how much knowledge he had that he wasn't supposed to have at all.

So he couldn't say anything. All he could do was stare at her in sorrow and horror while she stared back. And then it came to him in a burst of inspiration.

"Well…maybe we can avoid getting into a situation where one of us can die at all. How about that?"

And for the first time in either of his lives, Rei's smile got wide enough to show her teeth.

"I'd like that."

***
​

For about the fifth time this week alone, Shinji floated in the LCL and tried to focus on pushing his score up to a reasonable level while making anyone outside the Eva believe he was actually trying to push it as high as he could. It was actually much harder than actually trying his best would be.

At least it was a pleasant environment to be in. The plugsuit hugged his body like a second skin while the LCL was making him feel weightless. It smelled a little like blood, but it mostly tasted like sugar water and it was easier to breathe than air. From what Shinji understood, being in the Entry Plug was supposed to feel a lot like being in a womb.

It was one hell of an engineering choice.

"You're doing great. Both of you," he heard Misato's voice coming from everywhere at once. Entry Plugs were weird this way.

It was good to hear her, anyway.

"Now we're going to try something a little different. You two are going to talk to each other and we'll see what that does."

Shinji wondered what they were expecting it to do. In all probability it would cause his score to climb up slightly because it was hard to talk and keep his synch ratio stable at the same time.

"So…how are you doing?" he asked.

"I am well. This exercise is comfortable," Rei's answer echoed through the LCL of his plug.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is."

"You two call that talking?!" Misato let out a cry of cheerful anger. "I've seen better chatter from chairs! Come on, really move those tongues!"

"You have…met Rei, right?" Shinji answered.

"Point. Do your best, I guess," Shinji could imagine Misato deflating.

"Ikari, are you free this afternoon?"

"Yes?"

"Excellent. I'm going to a violin recital. Will you come with me?"

Shinji's heart skipped a beat.

"What made you ask?"

"You enjoy music. I know that. I want you to enjoy yourself. Will you come?"

"I'd like that," Shinji couldn't resist smiling.

"Hey, I told you two to chat, not to flirt!"

And now he was blushing. He could actually feel the heat flooding his cheeks, and he was sure that they were getting even redder than the LCL around him.

"It's not like that!" he protested.

"Whoa! Actually, if it gets you to this synch ratio, maybe you should flirt."

"Very well. Ikari, do you want to kiss?"

Shinji's involuntary reflexes did their very best to make him choke on LCL. Luckily, that was physically impossible.

Even more luckily, the alarms came to life right at that moment.

"Blood Pattern Blue! Angel Detected"

Shinji didn't think he could have arranged it more perfectly if he tried. The Fourth Angel was arriving right on schedule and he and Rei were already suited up and in their Evas. Of course it was probably just because Rei was already recovered and thus more tests could be run.

Yeah, that was probably it.

***​

Shinji had pretty bad memories of this fight, all told. Shamsel had been a lot more aggressive than Sachiel. And considering what the latter pulled in this timeline, he was feeling pretty apprehensive.

Of course it wasn't just himself Shinji was worried about.

"Be careful out there," he said. The reply came almost immediately.

"Don't worry, Ikari. I will not allow any harm to come to you."

"That is…almost the exact opposite of what I asked."

"I'm sorry. It's all I can do."

The Angel emerged on the horizon. It was like a terrifying fusion of all arthropods, all armor and joints and skittering little legs. Well, relatively little: actually each leg was several stories tall and cracked pavement each time it impacted the ground.

Was it just Shinji's imagination, or was it moving faster this time?

The Progressive Knife in his hand suddenly felt very much inadequate. But at least it wasn't a Pellet Rifle like Rei's weapon. He would be the one in close combat, not her.

The next twenty seconds kind of sucked.

At the one second mark Rei opened fire and began unloading shells the size of a car into the Angel. Buffered by her AT field, they were at least able to reach the Angel whereas any weapon fired by anything other than the Evangelion would have no effect at all. Of course with this much separation between the two AT field sources, the bullets weren't doing much good either, particularly against the armored carapace.

Also at the one second mark the movement of the Angel's legs changed. More of them moved in unison, and the Angel's speed increased by a fair amount.

At the five second mark Shinji gripped the knife's handle tighter as all of the Angel's legs on its left side hit the ground simultaneously, launching it careening in mid-air like a ship on a dangerous wave.

At the six second mark the Angel used its AT field to propel itself forward with enough force to break the sound barrier, all while still spinning and extending its infamous force whips.

At the nine second mark Shinji jumped onto the Angel's spinning side in a desperate attempt to shield his Rei who was currently dropping her rifle and reaching for her own Progressive Knife. He got faceful of force tentacle for his trouble before the bulk of the body slammed into him from below, knocking him away.

At the ten second mark Shamsel successfully attacked Rei. However, Shinji interference had counted for something. What would have been a direct hit turned into a glancing blow, forcing the girl to the ground.

At the twelve second mark the Angel was finally able to stop its spinning and turn around in the hole it made in the ground.

The next five seconds were a confusing struggle of limbs, whips, and knives as Rei and Shinji attempted to get the Angel into a position where it could be stabbed while the Angel tried, unsuccessfully, to make them let go long enough to get into a position from where it could charge again.

At the eighteen second mark it finally found that position.

At the twenty second mark Shinji's back slammed into a hill halfway across the city, the torn Umbilical Cable flailing all around.

It took at least three more seconds for Shinji to orient himself enough to note that a tree was blocking his vision. And it was able to do that because it was lying right over his eyes.

Flicking the tree away with two fingers, Shinji realized he remembered this hill.

This wasn't a good thing.

A glance to the side told him that Toji and Kensuke being suicidally curious remained a constant in the new universe. By some miracle the two of them hadn't been either crashed by his enormous arm or buried in the spray of earth he let off.

A glance forward informed him that Rei was fighting with the Angel now. Fighting quite gracefully too, if he was any judge. She was apparently countering the Angel's devastating speed with acrobatics and precision. But her Umbilical Cable was disconnected and with the way she was moving, she had at most a minute of power.

He considered the pros and cons of doing the crazy thing he was thinking of doing (again). On the con side, the Angel was nowhere near him and getting civilians into the entry plug would disrupt his synchronization. On the pro side, the hillside was basically an earthy deathtrap right now. Leaving someone sitting up here could be dangerous.

In the end he made his decision based mostly on nostalgia.

The Entry Plug shot out of Unit 01's back. Shinji reluctantly raised his head out of the LCL.

"Get in here!"

Apparently, he didn't have to ask twice. Toji and Kensuke were in the Plug practically before he knew it.

"All right. Let's see if we can make this work," he growled through his teeth.

The next forty seconds were sort of awesome.

***​

While Shinji was busy getting involved in shenanigans with his friends from school, Rei faced the Angel one-on-one. Thus far she and the Angel successfully avoided so much as touching each other. But the Angel was running on unlimited power, and Rei was not.

She had to make the remaining time count.

The loud roar of Unit 01 was approaching, but it wouldn't get to the battle in the next fifteen seconds, which was all time Rei had.

Shamsel began another of its charges. It seemed to believe that as long as it used its body as a battering ram and kept its thickly armored shell pointed towards potential threats and its vulnerable core shielded, it would win. Rei decided she had just enough time left to take away that advantage.

She leaped into the air, performing a double backwards somersault. Exiting the maneuver, she launched the knife at the Angel. The vibrating blade, buffered by the strength of the throw and Rei's own AT field, penetrated the Angel's AT field. The handle did not.

Rei continued moving backwards at a rate less than that Shamsel's forward movement. At the same time she continued falling. Eventually their trajectories interjected, at which time Rei shot out her foot and slammed it directly into the handle of the Progressive Knife, still stuck in the Angel's AT field.

The Knife penetrated the rest of the way in and slammed directly into the Angel's carapace. It proceeded to crack the thick armor, penetrate the Angelic flesh, and bury its point in Shamsel's Core.

It wasn't a killing blow. But it wasn't meant to be. The effect of the attack was adding a huge weak spot to the Angel's armor. Now no matter what side it presented to Shinji, he could take it down with one skilled (or lucky) blow. The Angel's conservative strategy was well and truly wrecked.

This attack had Ayanami written all over it.

The impact propelled her forward once again. She did three consecutive flips before landing. The countless tons of Eva landing at once buckled the very ground underneath it, sending a thunderous blast of sound throughout the whole of Tokyo-3.

In the moment before the Angel's impact Rei gave a small smile.

***​

An Angel shaped like a ram going at its maximum speed with its AT field extended is not quite an unstoppable force, but it's the closest thing humanity is likely to see.

Rei Ayanami sitting in Unit 00 with her AT field extended to at maximum power is pretty far from an immovable object. But when protecting something she cares about, she will not be moved easily.

Under the light of an afternoon sun, these two met each other.

For a moment it seemed as though the resulting clash stopped time itself as Angel and Evangelion stared at each other, the terrible momentum of Shamsel's attack trapped between their straining AT fields.

Shamsel's legs quietly scrabbled in mid-air, attempting to gain purchase and move forward.

Rei's AT field strained. It consisted single enormous hexagon reinforced by many smaller ones, interlinked like chain mail behind a breast plate. Hexagons were leaning on hexagons and supporting other hexagons; at the very bottom hexagons barely larger than a human head were burying themselves into the ground in a desperate effort to stay still.

Then something broke and the pent-up energy unleashed itself.

Rei's AT field was shattered, though it shielded her from the worst of the damage. Unit 00 tumbled through the air head over foot, defenseless and powerless, its batteries drained by the battle. At the end of its ark, the Unit somehow landed straight on its feet.

And also straight on top of an Eva Launch Chute.

Rei continued smiling as Unit 00 was dropped into the bowels of the Earth. She stared directly at the holographic screen still displaying the battle. She didn't want to miss a second of what she was sure would come next.

***​

If Rei was almost extraordinarily lucky in her flight and landing, Shamsel was less so. The Angel was making a wide and uncontrolled arc through the air, tumbling towards the approaching Unit 01.

For the first time in three weeks, Shinji wasn't thinking about timelines or making connections with people or anything like that. Instead his thought processes were split evenly between the Angel flying through the air and making his Evangelion go faster.

Behind him two voices screamed out things for which Shinji lacked any context. Something about red hands and the fires of galaxies. Shinji ignored it and roared.

The others took the clue and roared with him.

Shinji attempted to jump into the air and punch Shamsel. Shamsel in turn attempted to spin on its axis, turning its tentacles into spinning weapons of doom. Both failed spectacularly, the clash of their respective AT fields driving them apart. But the battle was joined anyway.

Sensing the knife in its back, Shamsel chose to meet Shinji face to face. No longer would its energy whips be crippled by poor positioning. The Angel seemed inclined to use the greater reach of its weapons to keep the knife-wielding giant away from itself.

Worse, it stood a chance of actually succeeding.

Shinji attempted to use his AT field defensively. But to be honest, both his and the Angel's AT fields were getting pretty battered. The solid hexagons were now more like film in indistinct shape, worn and occasionally ripped.

"Chief, you just have to charge that thing!" Toji's voice came from behind him.

"Yeah! Don't worry, we'll be behind you one hundred percent!" Kensuke screamed in his ear.

Shinji wondered what he had gotten himself into. But at this point he didn't have much choice.

He grasped the appropriate lever. Two other hands fell over his. With a shrug he joined Kensuke and Toji in pushing it forward..

Back at base Misato stared at the screen.

"Rits? What am I looking at here?"

"Blood and ash!" swore the scientist. "That kind of a spike isn't supposed to happen!"

"Anything we should do?"

The good doctor sat still for a moment with her mouth open, looking exactly like someone who was about to say something before realizing it was the wrong thing to say and who was now having trouble thinking of anything else.

"…no," she finally said lamely.

"Huh," Misato cocked her head.

And up on the battlefield, Unit 01 roared and was covered in prismatic force. As its hand drew back to stab, the vibrating blade of the Progressive Knife appeared to grow layers. Shimmering layers.

And when Unit 01 stabbed upward, it wasn't with a simple knife. The Evangelion wielded a long and slender blade of pure layered AT fields superimposed onto the basic weapon. A blade made out of pure soul energy carried forward by the strength of an Evangelion that just jumped from having a synchronization in the low fifties to one in mid two-hundreds.

One hit was all it took.

Shamsel's core wasn't merely split; it was utterly annihilated in a blast that tore its body apart and sent Rei's Progressive Knife tumbling through the air. The energy whips dissolved into so many sparks and disappeared as the silent dark body of the Angel collapsed to the ground.

***​

The first time Shinji went through the battle with the Fourth Angel he'd spent the remainder of the day sitting alone in his room and using his tape player to listen to music on infinite loop. That didn't happen this time.

This time the music was live. And the company was better.

Tomorrow there would be official debriefings, more tests, and pointed questions from everyone he knew. Tomorrow he would have to confront his suspicions about everyone else's behavior this day and what exactly it all meant.

But today he could just sit here with Rei and enjoy the music.

Rei looked…well, beautiful in her own way, of course. That was always the case. But she also looked a little ridiculous. It was the evening dress, for sure. On someone else it would arguably look stunning, but even though it was clearly made to fit Rei exactly, it still looked as if it were draped over her skinny figure. The various black sequins just didn't have the area in which to look anything other than comical.

That was the thing with Rei, though. Most clothes just looked unnatural on her. The only times she looked normal were when she was either in her plugsuit or naked. Any normal outfit that so much as approached Rei instantly began looking gangly and weird.

If you asked Shinji whether he cared, the answer would be a resounding 'no.'

Their hands were holding each other. Shinji wasn't sure how exactly that happened. Under normal circumstances Shinji would be inclined to pull his hand away in an attempt to deny his many enemies (and/or friends) at NERV the opportunity for blackmail. But these were not ordinary circumstances, so he let things be.

He did notice that Rei's palm was very warm. It was always kind of surprising, really. Everything about her appearance told the eyes that her body should be cold, but whenever Shinji actually touched her, she radiated warmth. It was probably very allegorical, but Shinji had always hated that sort of metaphor.

Some part of Shinji wished the evening could continue forever. But it was a small part – the part from before the post-Third Impact desolation. The rest of him didn't ever want to risk being stuck in an unchanging world, not even one that was pleasant.

But for as long as it lasted, Shinji was fine with this.

As it happened, it didn't last forever. The hours flew by and then it was time to let go of Rei's hand to applaud, and in what seemed like the blink of an eye they were both outside.

The air was warm too. At least that wasn't a metaphor so much as basic climate. It was always summer these days.

Unless…could the eternal summer itself serve as a metaphor for something? Well, now this was going to bother Shinji whenever he noticed it.

"Shinji?"

This time Shinji was fairly sure he hadn't missed anything Rei said.

"This was pleasant, was it not?"

"Definitely," Shinji grinned. "We should…we should do it again."

"Yes. We must."

Shinji was getting better and better at distinguishing between different kinds of silences. There were tense silences and awkward ones. There were silences where people were desperately casting for something to say and silences where they were determined to let the other person speak first. Silences ran the whole gamut.

This particular silence was downright pleasant.

Alas, even silences come to an end, because sooner or later people are forced to engage in communication because there is vital information to be imparted.

"Rei? The Geofront is kind of the other way."

"I'm not returning to the Geofront yet."

"You're not?"

"There is something else I need to pick up. Will you come with me?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

"No. Which is why I didn't."

She had a point.

***​

Shinji questioned why he was standing outside a pet store.

He imagined asking Rei that question. The answer would probably be that he'd agreed to accompany Rei and she was currently inside the pet store, and therefore he had to remain outside. And if he went on questioning, he would probably learn that the reason she was inside the pet store was that the something she needed to pick up was currently inside the pet store as well and had to be brought outside.

It was at this point in the conversation that Hypothetical Rei lost him.

Fortunately the real Rei emerged at this time. Unfortunately, Real Rei was much harder to question about things than Hypothetical Rei. It was mostly the tone of voice in which she answered questions. It made you feel stupid for asking the question the answer to which was apparently so obvious to her. And then it made you feel stupid for feeling stupid, since she almost certainly didn't hold any of it against you.

Shinji used his power of observation instead. This power told him that Rei was holding a box and that furthermore the box had air holes in it.

"So…pets, huh?" he tried and failed to sound nonchalant.

"It's good to care for living things," Rei nodded. "It reminds us of the value and fragility of life."

"Can I see?"

Rei opened the box.

Two pairs of black beady eyes stared at Shinji from under a forest of spines.

"Hedgehogs? Really?" Shinji could hardly believe what he was seeing.

"Yes," Rei nodded. "I need to prove a point to someone. And what has more points than a hedgehog?"

"Is that a riddle?" Shinji smiled.

"It's something I heard once,"

"Huh."

And they kept walking for a while.

"Rei?"

"Yes?"

"What point?"

Rei closed her eyes before answering.

"Hedgehogs are inspiring. When a hedgehog wants to be left alone, all it has to do is curl up and it can exclude the whole world. For two hedgehogs to touch each other, they must both drop their defenses and even risk pain. Either of them could simply reject each other and the process would stop. Yet generation after generation of hedgehogs emerge into the world as a testament to mutual acceptance. As long as hedgehogs exist, we can be certain that living creatures can achieve togetherness – even ultimate togetherness – without feeling any pain at all."

Rei's eyelids opened again and her eyes stared into Shinji's. And he was forced to acknowledge that under the light of the moon Rei no longer looked comical at all. What was it with her and moonlight that made her look so significant?

Shinji could feel Time again, but it felt different. Not like an event coming up, but as a point of decision. Whatever he said or did next could possibly have momentous consequences.

He slowly extended his hand forward without knowing why. And stopped when he felt a painful prick in his finger.

Lowering his eyes to look at it, Shinji could see a small bead of blood emerging from his fingertip. Pricked by a hedgehog needle. Of course. He was receiving pain as a result of attempted contact.

Shinji had always hated that sort of metaphor.

He quietly licked his finger, then lowered it again to pet the hedgehog's snout. The little insectivore, being used to humans from birth, stoically accepted the affection.

"They're cute," Shinji found his voice.

"Yes," Rei nodded. "Yes, they are."

She shut the box again.

"I should bring them home and give them some milk."

And with a shrug they moved on, leaving the ghosts of Time trailing behind them.

 

[SeptimusMagisto]

Ramielnacht

One day in the moderately distant future of an alternate universe Shinji Ikari wished to come back to the past so that it could change it for the better. It all seemed very simple and straightforward, if not easy.

The Shinji Ikari who sat in his room surrounded by poorly-written notes and clutching his head thought that his past (future?) self had a very inflated sense of his own importance.

The fact was, they had won against the Angels. They could win better – would win better if Shinji could had anything to say about it – and then they wouldn't be so tired and depressed when it was show time. But just fighting Angels as well as they could wouldn't prevent the end of the world. Shinji already made the mistake of thinking that once. He wouldn't do so again.

By sifting through existential nightmares, visions of universes that might have been, and Misato's sex life Shinji thought he finally had the things that actually happened pinned down.

Someone started hacking into NERV's computers, then sent in an army and the weird white Evas. Asuka challenged them and put up a terrific fight before ultimately getting horribly beaten. Around this time his father did…something involving Rei and possibly Adam and/or Lilith. Then there were noises, a weird tree made entirely of light, and the next time the world made any sense at all, Shinji was on a beach and the ocean changed colors.

Now, obviously the best thing to do would be to somehow prevent any of it happening in the first place. Stop whoever attacked NERV, prevent the white Evas from ever being sent, and keep Gendo Ikari the Hell away from anything with the power to start the apocalypse.

Then for his encore Shinji could turn some water into wine and maybe invent cold fusion.

The thing was, Shinji was beginning to realize just how small he actually was, in the grand scheme of things. When he was in his Evangelion, he felt huge and powerful, and he was the world's first (and frequently only) line of defense against the Angels. But the fact was, he had that power for about five minutes before Unit 01 became about as powerful as a mountain – which is to say not very powerful at all unless you wanted a road blocked.

Outside the Evangelion he had no power at all. Even though his father was right here on the base, what could Shinji really do to alter his plans? Getting even a little bit of leverage would take in-depth knowledge of NERV's operations. Shinji's knowledge was such that he wasn't even sure if he was getting paid for this job.

That was an excellent question, by the way. He'd have to remember to ask someone.

Anyway, it also meant that he had literally zero control over the disposition of Evangelions. He couldn't even do anything to accelerate Asuka's arrival, however much he wanted to. The idea of stopping anything like what came against them…it was insane.

He couldn't prevent the end of the world, that much was certain. He would have to fight it.

It was possible. As long as his father continued to rely on Rei and as long as he could get Rei to be on his side, his father's plan could be stopped. And if Asuka wasn't fighting alone…if he joined her, and Rei, and maybe Toji if things went well, they could stop the white Evangelions from executing their version of the apocalypse.

And then he would still be left staring down at least two different groups with the desire and means to potentially Tang everyone, one of which controlled his power supply. But no plan was perfect, right?

Anyway, that was still long-term. Maybe he could come up with something. Maybe something would just work out. Heck, for all he knew nobody had a plan to end the world in this timeline.

Not that he was betting on it.

What few plans he had were decidedly vague. The lynchpin that held the whole mess together and kept it a 'plan' rather than a 'hope' was the idea of winning battles against the Angels with fewer losses. If his friends weren't hurt – well, obviously it was a goal in and of itself, but it also meant that they would be ready to stand with him when the time came around. And if the Evangelions didn't get as damaged, NERV wouldn't need to spend the money to repair them, and it could go towards more Evangelions and more weapons instead. They would be stronger when they needed it.

Which brought him to the issue at hand.

Thus far his plan wasn't really working. Sachiel had inflicted far more damage than the last time, and Shamsel did at least as much. Shinji had tried to limit it, but he'd had to get into the Angel's range, which meant getting whipped.

The next Angel had the potential to be much worse. The last time Ramiel rolled around, he came within an inch of killing Shinji and devastated Unit 00. He wielded a devastatingly powerful attack and an all-but-invincible AT field. And if Ramiel was as determined to make Shinji suffer as the other Angels apparently were, things could take a turn for the painful way too quickly.

Still, there was a bright side to the whole thing. The great flaw of Shinji's first life had been complacency. And nothing inspired one to cast off the trappings of the familiar and break new ground like the threat of agonizing laser-based death.

***​

Things didn't make sense. That was the problem.

If things made sense, Shinji could just dodge Ramiel's first blast or get someone to send out a decoy beforehand so they wouldn't deploy him within the Angel's attack zone, and then it would be a matter of getting a really good shot. If he could finish it in one attack, Rei wouldn't need to be hurt.

If things didn't make sense then Shinji couldn't rely on that strategy.

Eventually, Shinji would figure out why things didn't make sense. But it seemed like a pretty involved question requiring lots of careful research and looking into everyone's backgrounds, and even if Shinji had had time for it, he honestly didn't want to get into it right then.

To be honest, he was a little scared of what he would find.

In the meantime Shinji just had to deal with the fact that things might go randomly wrong for no reason at all. He was still the one with the most experience with fighting Angels. That meant that any resource NERV possessed had to be ready and at his disposal at a moment's notice. Of the three people who could make that happen, Shinji was only comfortable talking to one.

Honestly, he'd been kind of meaning to talk to Misato anyway.

Or at least that's what he was prepared to tell himself now that he couldn't put it off any longer.

He really did want to talk to Misato. He just wasn't sure which Misato. That was one of the things that didn't make sense. The people of this universe were the same as the people he'd left behind, yet at the same time they weren't. For all that he was determined to treat Rei as Rei no matter her origin, he had to admit that the differences in behavior were pretty stark. And the Gendo Ikari of this world…whatever he was, he wasn't the same Gendo Ikari that people loved to hate.

And so it was difficult to decide whether he should treat the Misato who didn't take him in the same as the one who did. He hadn't even been able to build up a relationship with her again the way he did with Rei because they had no cause to see each other outside of work – and also because it was painful to try.

On the other hand, not trying something because of the potential pain involved led to stagnation, which led to complacency, which led to laser death or Third Impact.

And so for the second time in a single month Shinji found himself standing in front of a familiar-yet-unfamiliar door, preparing to gain entrance even though something squirmed in the area between his stomach and chest, seizing major organs and squeezing him in a desperate attempt to make him leave.

Fortunately, if there is one thing Shinji could never do, it was run away. Especially not once the door opened, at which point running stopped being an option.

"Shinji?"

Gulp.

"H-hi, Misato."

Shinji was surprised to note that her apartment wasn't nearly as bad as he'd expect it to be in his absence. A few beer cans and items of clothing were lying around here and there, but it was nothing a determined person couldn't grab and shove into a closet within five minutes. It wasn't up to Shinji's levels of cleanliness, but it was what might be called 'okay.'

The thing in his chest climbed up into his head and was screaming that he had made a horrible mistake. He went into this thing like he did with Rei, but that was different. Rei was a fellow introvert. She'd just sat there quietly until he figured out how to say the things he wanted to say. Misato was different, though. He either had to start talking right away, or face questions.

"Misato? What am I to you?"

Goddammit.

That wasn't what he'd meant to ask at all. He was supposed to ask about what nonstandard resources NERV held and then maybe somehow steer the conversation towards thickening space shuttle-based armor or arranging for more efficient cooling in positron rifle barrels. There was also an AT-field trick he was going to try to practice, and he wanted to warn her in advance.

But for some reason whenever his mind froze up, it seemed to default to the truth. Which was probably admirable, but also incredibly inconvenient.

"Shinji?"

"Sorry, that was a dumb question. Sorry," Shinji had always been of the opinion that enough apologies could make everything better.

He moved and Misato grabbed his wrist.

"It wasn't a dumb question at all, Shinji."

The next second of silence wouldn't be going into Shinji's favorites list, that was certain.

"To me you are…a great person. You do good things. You pilot the Evangelion to protect us all! But you're also humble, and kind. Ever since you came here, Rei's really opened up. And even your father's been acting like an actual person. A person who can talk, even!"

Things were making progressively less sense.

"You think…I did all that?"

"Well…it's been going on ever since you arrived, I can tell you that much! So it had to have been either you or the Angels. And I didn't see any of them talking to Rei every day."

"I…see."

Shinji didn't see.

"You're a great kid, Shinji. Don't you ever doubt it."

"Thanks, Misato," Shinji's smile was 70% genuine. "I don't think I could have done any of it without you…and the rest of NERV, I guess."

"Huh. So, was there anything else you wanted?"

"Actually, yeah. Misato, what would NERV do if we needed something special to beat an Angel?"

***​

The upside of things not making sense was that sometimes they didn't make sense in Shinji's favor.

"This will pack a lot more punch than the Pellet Gun, am I right?"

Misato gestured at the positron cannon behind her.

"NERV's been developing it for a while. Since the bullets aren't doing a ton of damage, we think that switching to a balance of melee weapons and particle beams will be more useful in the long run."

Shinji quietly nodded. All the relevant NERV personnel (minus Gendo Ikari) were invited to the presentation, but he and Rei naturally ended up at the front. Which was fair since they were the ones who'd end up wielding the gun.

"The Positron Cannon has two different modes. It can draw power from an ordinary Umbilical Cable for a shot that we think will do a lot of damage to an Angel with its AT field down. It's a pretty good strategy to take advantage of our advantage in numbers – one pilot to bring down the defenses, the other to snipe at the Angel from a safe distance."

Shinji had never had a chance to play tabletop games. If he had, he would probably be much more worried about the prospect of firing into a melee.

"The other more mode is basically a supercharged shot. We pump the gun with all the power we can gather and the resulting shot is that much more powerful. If the Angel doesn't move around a lot then a precisely aimed shot could even punch right through the AT field."

Somewhere behind Shinji, Doctor Ritsuko Akagi quietly made her hand into a pistol shape and unconsciously raised it in front of her eyes.

"And this is the best part: We figured out how to rework the cooling systems from the Type D equipment and use them on the barrel. As a result, the Positron Cannon can fire just as quickly as we can recharge it. Which means that as of this moment NERV possesses the most advanced particle weapon in the world. But, ah, keep that last part to yourselves, okay?" Misato winked. "No point making the JSSDF jealous, after all."

That seemed to mark the end of the meeting, such as it was. Those whose job it was to figure out gigawatts and whatnot would probably receive some literature later, and Shinji himself would be getting instruction on how to fire it properly. But the ceremony itself apparently existed mostly so that NERV could tell itself 'Look at my shiny new gun!'

To be fair about it, the gun was extremely shiny.

Misato looked glad to be off the stage. The formal uniform was probably uncomfortable. Not physically so much as socially. It was like Misato had the opposite of what Rei had.

"Well, Shinji, what do you say?"

"Thank you?" Shinji guessed.

"What? No!"

"This looks like exactly what we needed. I feel more confident about our ability to fight the Angels," suggested Rei.

"Yeah, that's it!" Misato grinned. "This is just the beginning, of course. We only built the cannon ourselves because it's something we're going to use a lot. For most things it's easier to borrow them when we need them."

"Why?" asked Shinji.

"Because then NERV doesn't have to pay for it. Correct?" Rei was wearing her small smile.

"Yup!" Misato's smile was much bigger. "Our budget may be limited, but what they're willing to lend us if it looks like we might actually lose isn't."

"Then our victories will be well provided for," Rei nodded. There was a sort of childish optimism about her that seemed both out of place and yet also very right.

"So…" Misato could combine 'happy' and 'hesitant' like no-one else Shinji knew. "Do you two want to go out for ice cream?"

"What?" Shinji blinked.

"Is that a weird thing to ask? It is, isn't it?"

Suddenly Shinji felt something close around his wrist with the strength of a steel manacle. At the same time Rei's hand shot out to grasp Misato's wrist.

"Cease that line of thought," Rei commanded, her head straighter than Shinji had ever seen it before. "There is ice cream to be had."

At that point forward motion began and it would take considerably more strength than Shinji or Misato possessed to stop it.

***​

Shinji would never have believed it was possible to eat ice cream with terrifying efficiency. But Rei made it work.

"The creation of ice cream," Lick "is the ultimate achievement," Lick "of human civilization," Lick "combining agricultural milk," Lick "with industrially produced sweeteners," Lick "in perfect harmony."

The really strange thing? Before that sentence they'd been having a conversation about the Evangelions.

"Rei? Are you sure you should have this much ice cream?" Misato sounded concerned.

"I will pay for my own order," in the time it took for Rei to say these words, a quarter of an ice cream cone disappeared down her throat.

"No, silly! I mean, eating this much ice cream – it can't be healthy, you know?"

"I will weather the temperature differential and metabolize the fat and sugar easily," Rei responded, never ceasing to eat even for a second. "Ice cream will not harm me."

"Well, if you're sure, I guess," Misato shrugged.

"So, Misato…what brought this on?" Shinji asked.

"You did, Shinji," she answered.

"Huh?" Shinji halfway-pretended to not understand. The ease with which he was able to insert fractions of sincerity into his conversations was beginning to scare him.

"It's complicated. I guess…I guess that I've been distant. From you and Rei, I mean," Misato appeared to be breathing heavily. "I…oh, I don't know!" she threw her arms up.

Shinji's gaze flickered all over. Misato seemed to be trying to make her own face implode, while Rei closed her eyes and allowed blueberry to join nineteen other flavors in her stomach.

"Like I said before, you and Rei do such admirable things. You fight so hard for all our sakes. But you're still children, you know? And I feel…like I'm responsible for you! Even if I'm really not," Misato's gaze was locked on Shinji.

And just like that, Shinji felt the crossroads kind of Time again. Whatever he said or did here would decide his course for the rest of his life. It was nice to get the warning. It would have been nicer if he had any way to predict how his life would change based on any particular outcome.

The sheer number of options available to him during any particular conversation was really quite staggering. He could certainly answer with a convincing lie or with a truth that would never be believed. Either one would certainly affect things. He could also stay silent, switch the conversation to the Evangelions or ice cream making or the Hedgehog dilemma; he could kiss Misato or Rei or punch either of them; he could run out of the room, stand on his head, or start crying. Anything he did would be equally life-changing, and he didn't know what the outcome would be.

In absence of any sort of supernatural guidance, Shinji had no choice but to trust his heart.

"Thank you!"

And apparently his heart was on board with the 'start crying' option.

"Misato, you are…you've been…good to us," Shinji was running without a script here. "You are a strong person, and you make our lives so much easier. An I feel…" at this point Shinji remembered what worked on Rei. "I feel like I want to be close to you. To…connect with you. To be like…like a family."

There. That's what Shinji's heart wanted to say. Once its job was done, it seemed like his heart was going up into his throat. Oh, and apparently his brain was willing to meet it halfway to give it a piece of Shinji's mind.

Also Misato seemed to be jumping onto the crying bandwagon.

He glanced towards Rei just in case. She gave him a look that was probably encouraging and followed it up with a small nod.

"Shinji, I…you don't know how much I'd like that," Misato was trying to smile and cry at the same time. It was unsettling to say the least. "But I don't think I've actually helped you with anything. You've stood on your own. And you've been doing so well. I don't think I…"

"Enough."

Rei had one hand on Misato's shoulder and one on Shinji's. For the first time since they came here, neither hand held an ice cream cone.

"Captain Katsuragi, you are a much better person than you believe you are. Believe me, I have observed you. And I do believe that Shinji would benefit from making a connection with you."

"R-Rei?"

"There are many things I don't know. But I know how to make Shinji happy. And being part of a family with you would make him very happy. So if that is something you want too, you shouldn't allow anything to stop you."

"Hey, you're not exempt from this, you know," Misato's tears were beginning to wane even as her smile waxed. She extended her arms and brought Shinji and Rei to her in something midway between a hug and a headlock. "If there's going to be a family here, you're going to be part of it!"

"Naturally, I already have a connection with Shinji," Rei pointed out. "I will be happy to make a connection with you as well. It will be different from my connection with him, of course."

"Well, yeah, I would hope so!" Misato almost laughed.

Shinji's heart and mind quickly settled their differences and decided to jointly point out that Shinji's body was in an ice cream parlor and getting hugged by two of the most significant people in his life.

"Misato…Rei…"

Shinji felt something sparkle inside him.

"I'm so happy!"

***​

If the laws of nature were corporeal, they would gladly join humanity in fighting against the Angels. Not out of altruism or anything like that – just out of pure, unrestricted hatred.

Ramiel's very existence was a scream of defiance against the Square-Cube Law. Its flight heaped humiliation upon humiliation onto the laws of gravity. Its AT field was an open mockery of everything about particle physics. Even its surface took a moment to casually refract light in a way light was not meant to be refracted.

The hypercube of impossibility that was Ramiel floated into Tokyo-3 under the cover of night. Powerful spotlights traced its movement; blaring alarms tried and failed to overpower the constant low whine the Angel emitted at all times.

Ramiel proceeded on its way without military harassment. Much as it irked the military, conventional arms had a poor track record against Angels. In due course it simply stopped and violated several more laws of nature by transforming part of itself into a drill. As far as anyone could tell, the Angel's endgame relied on drilling through the armor and then pushing more and more of itself through the hole until it emerged inside the Geofront.

Normally this would be NERV's cue to launch the Evas. However, due to a simultaneous suggestion by the Tactical Director, the Commander, the Sub-Commander, both pilots, and several staff members, that did not happen. Instead an automated mortar cannon was placed onto the rail line and wheeled out to fire at the Angel in a futile manner.

The artillery shell was carried forward by its momentum until it slammed into the AT field. At that point things like 'momentum' and 'inertia' became wholly irrelevant. The shell shed all of its kinetic energy and hung in mid-air surrounded by an octagon the size of several city blocks.

Ramiel retaliated by creating energy out of nothing, shaping that energy into a coherent beam, and melting through the mortar, the rail line, and half of a mountain.

***​

"So, yeah."

Misato used a laser pointer on the frozen picture of the laser.

"Sending an Evangelion into that thing's firing range with close combat in mind would be suicide. It looks like the Positron Cannon is going to get some use."

The slide switched to a picture of Ramiel with its AT field up.

"The AT field is too tough to just bust through, even with the N2 weapons. So we're going to be playing sniper instead. If we hit a particular part of the field with enough energy, the beam should be neither deflected nor stopped – it will go right through and blow the Angel to bits."

"Misato? Isn't that a little bit dangerous?" Shinji asked. Ultimately it would have to be done, of course, but he didn't want anyone going into the operation expecting it to be easy.

"Well, yeah. But hopefully only a little bit. We'll make it quick and clean. Pop out, hit the Angel, then down again. In case anything goes wrong, Rei will be standing by with a shield."

"This shield – it will be strong, right?" Shinji was determined not to take this lightly. "If Rei gets hit…I don't want anything to happen to her."

The girl in question turned her head in his direction.

"Shinji, please focus on preserving your own life and destroying the Angel. I'll be fine."

"Yeah, that's not happening."

"Shinji, it's sweet that you're concerned about Rei, but don't worry!" Misato grinned. "The Positron Cannon isn't the only thing we've been working on. Rei's shield? It used to be part of the Space Shuttle. And we've added extra armor to it. If there is anything in the world able to stand up to the Angel, that shield is it."

"And if nothing is?" Shinji asked.

"Don't worry about it," Rei insisted.

"I can't not worry about it! Don't you see, Rei, it doesn't matter what you say. You can't be replaced, you really can't. I don't want you to get hurt."

He stared at Rei and dared her to stare back. Right now he could face down anything – even the piercing Ayanami gaze. Anything at all to get her to stop talking like that.

"Shinji…" Rei closed her eyes. "Will it help you to concentrate on fighting the Angel if I promise not to die?"

"You'd really promise it? Not to die, no matter what?"

"Yes," she nodded. "I promise not to die during the fight with Ramiel. No matter what."

"Well…good."

To be honest, Shinji hadn't actually expected that to work.

"I also promise that you won't die."

"Even better!" interjected Misato. "If neither of you dies, it will save me so much paperwork!"

"You won't die either, Captain Katsuragi."

"Well, that will save me paperwork, I suppose," came a voice from behind Shinji.

"Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki!" Misato's grin became glued on. "What are you doing here?"

"Originally I was here to make sure the pilots would be careful. But it seems that won't be a problem," the old man had an absent-minded smile. "Other than that, you should know the Commander has decided to take charge of this operation personally."

Shinji was gradually getting better at reading faces. The look on Misato's signaled distress, he was sure of that much.

"Why?"

"I didn't ask. Would you?"

Everyone in the room stopped to imagine Gendo Ikari reacting to being questioned.

"But," complained Misato, "It's just so last-minute! Isn't it dangerous to switch things up on the pilots like this?"

"By all means we will both be in the room with him. If at any point you feel like you've thought of something the Commander hasn't, feel free to contribute."

Fuyutsuki turned around and walked away. Misato glanced at him, then back at the pilots, threw her arms up in confusion and frustration, and quickly followed him.

Shinji turned to Rei in confusion. The girl looked exactly as composed as he felt frazzled. He attempted to draw some of her calmness into himself.

She extended her hand and ran the back of her fingers over his cheek. The motion caught him by surprise, as did the tingle in his skin.

"Uh…" Shinji didn't know what to say.

"I meant what I said, Shinji. Neither of us will die."

"Thanks?" this didn't explain anything.

"I plan on living to have ice cream with you and Misato again."

"Good."

"And I look forward to my imminent retirement. And starting a family. I will take pictures of them and show them to everyone."

It was dawning on Shinji that he had become the target of a strange kind of joke.

"I assure you that absolutely nothing bad will happen to me, as I am invincible. Nothing could possibly go wrong."

Shinji didn't bother to dignify that with a reply. He just watched Rei bring her left hand up to cover her mouth. That was nice of her. He didn't think he could survive hearing Rei laugh.

"Rei…you've made your point."

Shinji didn't actually know what the point was, but he was sure it had been quite thoroughly made.

"Good," she smiled. Before Shinji knew it, he found his hands being cupped by hers.

"Shinji. I will…see you later."

And then she ran to her own Eva, leaving Shinji dumbfounded and wondering what just happened.

This was out of character for Rei. Out of her new character, to be precise. The Rei of this universe could talk and smile and eat ice cream. But this – this whatever it was?

Actually, what was that?

The touching…he thought he understood that part. Or at least he wasn't too shocked by it. But in-between she promised to be safe and then tempted fate in every possible way – only to say 'see you later' at the end. Which was weird, but at least it was better than saying 'goodbye.'

Wait.

Children instinctively know that the safe and familiar world around them only exists so long as they don't acknowledge the larger, scarier world that exist just beyond perception. The things under the bed that wait to grab any carelessly dangled limb; the noises in the dark woods beyond a campfire's glow; the infinite abyss that might be waiting each time you open your front door – to a child all those things exist and the only way to avoid them is to stay within the familiar world, huddling in controlled fear and never, ever looking out at the world as it is.

And what Shinji felt now wasn't Time. He felt the fear of a little boy sitting in the exact center of his bed with his eyes closed to the strange things Out There. He felt very clearly that the new life he'd built for himself with his second chance was suddenly very fragile and if he asked the right question or made the right realization, the larger, scarier world of the outside would break in and take everything he cared about away.

Shinji was happy to get into the LCL. The chaotic world of social relations, mysteries, and confusion was left behind as he descended into the comfortable weightlessness. Whatever strangeness the outside held, it was not blocked off by the Eva's armor. All that lay ahead was the Angel.

Of course the Angels didn't make sense either, but then they never really had.

***​

There was something pure about fighting the Angels. It wasn't fun, it wasn't easy, and it wasn't exactly a time of great personal calm. But it was the only time when NERV's stated intent, Shinji's stated intent, NERV's actual intent, and Shinji's actual intent all lined up. Whatever humans were preparing to do to each other once the danger passed, nobody wanted the Angels to win.

Shinji and Rei emerged on the outskirts of Tokyo-3, hidden behind buildings and raised shields. Shinji could just make out the very tip of Ramiel. He knew that the Angel was slowly drilling its way through layer after layer of solid metal shielding. He also knew what lengths it would go to in order to keep from being interrupted.

His chest twanged with memories of extreme pain.

"Shinji."

When Misato's voice sounded like it came from every side of the entry plug at once, it was kind of reassuring. When it was his father's voice, Shinji felt his stomach clench.

"Do you see the rifle?"

"Yes, Father."

"Good. Take the rifle. Then aim the rifle."

Shinji obeyed. His father's stated and actual goals were flowing together with his own. For a while, this would remain true. Until it came to the dummy plugs, things would be…acceptable. After that all bets might be off.

The gun was…different from the last time. It wasn't a 'borrowed' JSSDF rifle. This time NERV had its particle weapon fully completed. Aside from having NERV's insignia plastered onto the side, the cannon boasted several tubes filled with coolant running down to the barrel. If he needed to fire a second shot, he would be able to do it slightly faster.

In front of him Rei took up her shield. It looked different too. It had layers of armored plating and anti-thermal isolation on top of the space shuttle hull. They wouldn't hold against Ramiel's beam for long, but a few seconds could mean the difference between a perfectly intact Unit 00 and one that was crippled and sympathetically hurting Rei.

Shinji was feeling a little better about this plan. They were going in with better hardware than the last time. And it was (probably) thanks to his efforts. So their chances were increased through his plan.

"Shinji. Continue targeting the Angel."

"Yes, father."

Shinji couldn't see the Angel's core from where he was, but the computers could. All he had to do was hold the thing.

"There is a chance that the Angel may react to your weapon charging up. We've set up a dummy on the opposite side of the city and we're about to begin charging it. If the Angel does not attack it, you will be clear to take your shot. If it does, you will have several seconds before it can switch targets. Be ready either way."

This was not part of the plan.

It was good, but it wasn't part of his plan. Things were happening on their own again.

"I'm…ready!"

The world before Shinji's eyes was going white. In his vision, everything lost color. Only lines of stark black wire against white background remained to pinpoint objects.

It was a metaphor of a kind. The color probably symbolized Shinji's conflicting emotions and petty concerns. The lines symbolized the stark realities of battle against the Angels, supposedly free of all ambiguity. And the way he clutched the Positron Cannon symbolized the way he was tired of being scared and sick of being confused; how he was sure of one thing and one thing only: that no matter what tricks his father, Ramiel, and even Time Itself were about to play, the Angel was going down. And he and Rei were not.

On the opposite side of the city, automated systems whirred to life, heedless of Shinji's concerns. The generators, transmitters, and capacitor banks existed for one purpose only: to catch the Angel's attention, then be destroyed. As the power levels grew to the critical point, the staff down in NERV held their breaths. Shinji allowed his finger to crawl even closer to the trigger. Gendo unconsciously let his fingers touch each other to form a steeple as his eyes bored into the screen.

And Ramiel broke free of its drill and tore directly to the right side, then the left, approaching the perceived enemy in a zigzag patterns. The Angel's speed raised gale-force winds in the streets below it. Without pausing in its movements, Ramiel unleashed blast after blast of devastating energy. Not half as powerful as its full attack, they were more than enough to utterly destroy the decoy machinery.

Not content with the apparent victory, Ramiel continued its approach, its crystal body screaming as it changed from a rhomboid shape into one reminiscent of an airplane.

The Battle for Tokyo 3 continued.

***​

Shinji had quite the problem on this hands.

More accurately, the problem was in his hands. Energy from all over Japan was being poured into his gun because he was supposed to shoot Ramiel with it while the Angel wasted its time and energy firing on the decoy. It was a shot that depended on an extremely precise combination of timing, targeting, and calculations, all of which were needed to pierce the Angel's AT field.

All of these things also required the Angel to present a stationary target. Instead Ramiel was at least a mile from where it was supposed to be, moving in unpredictable patterns at speeds that were just barely subsonic. The exact part of its AT field that had to be hit…wasn't about to be hit.

Worse than that, the Positron Cannon was now a target. The built-up power was apparently visible to the Angel.

He could drop the cannon, roll aside, and let Ramiel vaporize it. He and Rei would be safe, but the one weapon capable of penetrating Ramiel's AT field would be gone. They would be left without a plan. Ramiel would be left to resume its drilling. It wasn't an attractive option.

He could hold still and try to keep Ramiel pegged. The Angel couldn't deliver its worst blasts while moving. The low-power barrage probably couldn't get through Unit 01's AT field. It definitely couldn't get through Rei's shield. If Ramiel wanted to finish them off, it would have to stop. At that point it would be a race between the computers' ability to precisely target the exact weak spot in Ramiel's AT field and Ramiel's ability to target the entirety of the Evangelion. This wasn't an attractive option either.

The Shinji Ikari who fought this battle the first time would probably end up taking the latter option. The Shinji Ikari who sat on the shore of the red sea would probably go with the former.

The Shinji Ikari in the here and now ripped the rifle free from the power cord and ran.

"Shinji. What are you doing?"

"I don't know!"

Given that he and Ramiel were on the opposite sides of the city to start with, any direction Shinji ran to would either lead him away from power sources and backup weapons, or towards the Angel. Shinji chose the latter option.

Ramiel abandoned the charred remains of the decoy and zigzagged towards the new power source, desperately attempting to shoot it out of existence.

Shinji Ikari rolled and ducked behind a metal shield so thick that cars could easily be parked on top of it.

Ramiel could easily blast through this shield, but doing so would mean stopping, and stopping would mean exposing itself to the concentrated power of the enemy. Instead it went around in a wide arc, oscillating up and down.

Somewhere far behind, Rei was stuck with half of Japan's power output, most of the remaining space shuttle, and no real way to bring either of these to bear.

Shinji turned to the right, then took several steps backwards while brandishing the rifle.

Ramiel seemed to decide it was very much done with this nonsense. With a screaming whine it changed forms again. Its wings broke apart and became free-floating pieces of crystal around the cylinder its main body had become. The shape had the advantage of allowing a stronger-than-average shot to be charged up quickly while also being able to clasp shut at a moment's notice to protect the core.

Shinji counted to three before the panel underneath him finally dropped, taking him down the Eva Launch Chute. Ramiel's beam passed overhead, turning another part of the landscape to molten slag.

"Thank you, Rei," he whispered. Learning that trick was making things a lot easier now.

"You're welcome."

"Rei, get down and suppress your AT field!" he ordered.

Nobody who knew Rei would be surprised that she obeyed the order instantly. With the AT field down and the power consumption cut to the bone the Evangelion was downright inconspicuous…provided you were trying to sense it with something other than the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Fortunately, this was in fact the case.

Ramiel detected its target disappearing underground, down a practically hollow shaft.

With a loud whine, what remained of its drill extracted itself from the ground and flew back to Ramiel as a spear of slivered crystal, melding back into the Angel's body on impact.

Ramiel possessed attack and defense unmatched by any other Angel. With its current choice of tactics, it possessed a decent amount of speed as well. Its sole weakness was the inability to fire downward. No matter the Angel's configuration, the firing line had to remain broadly horizontal, with deviation no more than approximately thirty degrees either way.

It was this weakness that prevented it from simply firing straight through the armor. It was also this weakness that prevented Ramiel from approaching the shaft. If it were to enter the inviting hole, it would suddenly be at a disadvantage.

Ramiel decided to resolve this like it resolved most things: with shapeshifting. With another scream its body split into two elaborate structures connected at the bottom by a thin crystal bridge. A second later a drill emerged from the bridge and plunged into the ground.

And then the Angel screamed like it never screamed before.

In a single terrible moment every sound recording device in Tokyo 3 went offline and everything made of glass shattered. Even the ground itself shook as dust and garbage moved in rolling waves as though trying to get as far away from Ramiel as possible.

Contrary to appearances, however, the scream was not an attack. Functioning as a cross between sonar and seismograph, the Angel had just acquired a three-dimensional map of Tokyo 3's entire underground structure.

Shifting back into the airplane shape, Ramiel took off for the nearest shaft without an enemy at the bottom.

***​

It was something of a race.

Up above Tokyo 3, Ramiel tore through the air, moving from one hidden shaft opening to another.

Down below Shinji Ikari was being whipped about on magnetic rails, one Umbilical Cable plugged into the Evangelion's back and another into the Positron Cannon.

Both traveled in straight lines. Ramiel was on the whole slightly faster, but only barely. Whenever it reached a shaft, NERV shut the blast doors. Seconds later, Shinji Ikari would show up, Ramiel would move on to another shaft, and the game began once more.

"Shinji. What are you planning?" his father's voice came again.

"I don't know, I don't know! If it tries to get down here, I'm going to shoot it, I know that."

"And what are you planning to do until then?"

"Keep it away!" Shinji yelled through his teeth. "I'll chase it as long as I have to!"

"That's unacceptable."

"Rei?"

"Your cannon is undergoing more stress than is optimum. It will burn out before the Angel gets tired. Even if it does not, a hurried shot from the wrong angle will not necessarily harm destroy the Angel. Resume your original position. I will hold the Angel off."

"Rei, no!" screamed Shinji.

"You heard her," his father sounded…relieved, maybe?

"I won't let her do this!"

"She is doing it. Right now. And she will probably die unless you get there in time."

Shinji was halfway to his final exit by the time Gendo realized his words were probably not the stuff of reconciliation with Shinji.

"Shinji…good luck. Save Rei!" he attempted to recover.

Shinji was supremely unconcerned about the words or the intent behind them. But he did give an answer, in a tone that brooked no argument.

"I will."

***​

Rei Ayanami faced a problem. In fact it was a series of problems. She had to intercept the Angel before it reached the next shaft, or at least before it could drill through the blast shields. She had to keep it occupied long enough for Shinji to make his way to the sniping position and set up a shot, then hold it still long enough for Shinji to fire. Most importantly, she had to stay alive throughout the whole ordeal.

She began to work on these problems sequentially.

Rei disconnected her Umbilical Cable and took two big strides forward to reach the edge of the plateau. Then she pushed off with her foot to leap onto the steeper slope beneath.

By the time Rei landed, the shield was beneath her feet.

The shield's surface was made of materials both reinforced and reflective. As a result the earth and rocks beneath it provided very little friction. The smallest shift of balance was enough to control the direction of her descent.

As she went down, Rei quickly dictated the way the city should be rearranged to deliver her to the target objective.

One leap put her on top of a rising city block. Up ahead lay another city block which started rising later but was rising faster. Beyond that was another block which had only just begun rising but was rising faster still. In order to ensure maximum movement speed, Rei needed to reach the intersections at the exact moments the heights matched up so that she could rise without wasting any energy.

Naturally she did just that, still dictating directions the whole way.

Ramiel turned and started desperately firing at Rei. She took no notice as she sped off the final roof, now falling from the height of a skyscraper. At the Angel's current relative velocity, there was no way for it to aim well enough to hit her. Ramiel's actions were only important insofar as firing on her was distracting it from getting down into the Geofront.

At the point of Rei's descent several sectors were already arranged into a makeshift skateboarding ramp. Rei used the opportunity to change her direction by ninety degrees without slowing down. This put her on the direct collision course with the Angel.

Ramiel responded to the imminent collision by withdrawing into itself, becoming a sphere of concentrated and hardened crystal. This form allowed it to further buffer its already formidable AT field.

Rei extended her own AT field, adjusting its properties on the fly.

In less than a second the two giants…well, they didn't collide, but their AT fields did. After a moment's hesitation, Rei gently flopped to the ground, all the momentum of her movement caught and redirected in a direction seventy degrees off the gravitywise line and parallel to the future.

Rei grasped the shield and brought it in front of her as the Angel recovered. Panicked and confused, Ramiel defaulted to firing intense beams of energy.

The shield easily stood up to the sphere's blast. Once Ramiel changed configuration to the cylinder, it became more difficult. Rei dug her feet into the ground and pushed at the shield as armor and insulation melted.

"Come on," she whispered.

The cylinder changed into eight obelisks converging on a single point.

The Angel had already knocked out most of Tokyo 3's audio devices. The flash of its current blast took out the visual ones. Ramiel wasn't screaming anymore, but the air was. Without intending do, Ramiel projected out enough magnetism to fry circuits all over the city. That was just a side effect, though. The important thing was that in seconds the shield that was once part of the space shuttle was now metallic ash and vapor. Rei was barely holding the blast back with her AT field alone.

"My communication and monitoring equipment is now down," Rei commented to herself. Nobody else could hear it.

Nobody could hear her.

Nobody could see her.

And suddenly her straining AT field turned from a hexagon to an octagon. Instantly the beam went from being about to break through to scratching at the energy field in futile fury.

Ramiel screeched, whirred, and moaned, before transforming into a rotating circle of crystal shards organized in a coiled spiral constantly circling itself like a mobius strip. The beam emanating from its center was hot enough to set the ground dozens of meters beneath itself on fire and create a vacuum for itself as air particles rushed away from the violent discharge.

Rei's AT field turned into a decagon, the a dodecagon.

Ramiel rumbled in what might have been fury or fear or maybe some emotion known only to Angels. Then it shattered into a million slivers and each of the slivers itself shattered until there was nothing left of Ramiel except for a core floating within a geometrically perfect cloud of crystal dust.

Every dust particle flared white. The light of this event could be seen for miles. The light of what came next was detected by American observatories.

Ramiel's beam was now a weapon of mass destruction. It was as hot as the sun, though almost none of the heat was allowed to escape. Some of the more energetic particles did get loose, poisoning several city blocks with radiation levels similar to those found at the detonation of an atomic bomb. The energy emanating from the Angel exceeded the output of an active volcano.

Rei's AT field buckled and bent. Or so it seemed. Upon closer look, its planes were folding themselves like origami, crossing to deflect and reflect the beam, like a flower made up entirely of AT fields closing into a bud.

Ramiel was no intellectual giant. In fact, it had precisely two goals in life: merge with Adam and not get shot by an energy beam. But it was very, very good at doing whatever it took to reach those two goals.

Therefore in a matter of moments Ramiel dropped off its beam by several magnitudes and then reconstituted its scattered particles in a complicated arrangement that provided robust protection from its core while putting much of its body directly into the path of its own shot. The resulting attack damaged Ramiel severely but also achieved the impossible: the beam went directly into the ground, causing it to buckle and shatter and sending the air up in an explosive shockwave.

That shockwave met Ramiel's AT field, now configured to protect it from an attack coming directly from underneath. And as it did so, it lifted Ramiel into the air like a spaceship riding the blast of an atomic bomb.

A split second later the flower in Rei's hand turned into a paraboloid, spitting out the part of Ramiel's energies trapped within her AT field geometries. The beam missed the Angel entirely but went on to turn an entire mountain to dust. Then another. And another. By the time the reflected attack escaped the curvature of the Earth in a scattering of the deadliest particles this side of the nearest supernova, Ramiel was back at its usual level, back to its winged shape and flying away for its life.

Rei quietly smiled as Unit 00 rose slightly into the air, flipped into a horizontal position and took off in pursuit.

She matched the Angel's speed, then overcame it. She turned around and slammed into the Angel again.

Haplessly, Ramiel pulled a final assault against all laws of physics and quadrupled its mass, turning into a geode the size of several dozen high-rise buildings put together. In this form its AT field was comparatively weak but at least it had pure physical mass to shield its core.

At this point Shinji Ikari emerged onto a distant hill bearing a rifle.

Rei threw herself against the Angel again, her hexagonal AT field bouncing helplessly off its octagon. She landed in a crumpled heap.

Somewhere far away Shinji roared and raised the Positron Cannon. The computers were almost instant in finding their target. The pent-up power of Japan was released. The beam entered the octagon, bent, then went through. It crashed into a crystal and burned a path through, going through Angelic flesh like a drill through some fairly solid wood. Finally it reached the destination. Ramiel's core shattered under the stress so thoroughly that the crystal of its body melted into LCL rather than just crashing to the ground.

Shinji dropped the rifle and ran, his heart pounding with concern. If anything happened to Rei…well, nothing had better have happened to Rei, that was all!

"Rei! Are you okay? Rei!"

She didn't respond. But as he ran through the hidden city, Unit 00 got up shakily and gave a weak wave.

"Oh, Rei!"

He stopped by her, ankle deep in LCL, his soles getting irradiated.

She still didn't say a word. Losing all ability to communicate – that was so like her, really. He wondered what he should do to help her.

Rei hugged him.

It wasn't a tackle hug this time. It was a cautious gesture, as tender as could be accomplished between the metal-covered giants. And though he was sure he looked ridiculous, he hugged back.

And as the two Evangelions stood in the scarred battleground, embracing without a care in the world, Shinji chuckled.

"Thank you, Rei," he whispered. "Thank you for keeping your promise."

 

[SeptimusMagisto]

You are not (Jet) Alone

Everything hurt.

Shinji's throat and nose were basically throbbing. His head had a dull ache, places all over his body felt sore as though from exhaustion, and his tongue was dry.

He was sure his eyes were red. The thought made his cracked lips stretch into a weak smile. He had to resist chuckling, as his current affliction rendered made that a BAD IDEA.

"Here."

Shinji found a straw pressed into his mouth. He tried to find a good balance between sucking down enough orange juice to relieve his parched mouth but not so much he would have to swallow.

"Thank you," he whispered hoarsely.

His caretaker nodded her head.

"Rei…you know this hospital has actual nurses, right? You don't have to stay here all the time."

"I want to help," the girl explained. "I don't like seeing you like this. You are hurt and I can't protect you," her left hand was gripping her right one with more force than was comfortable. "I want to ease your pain."

"It's just…" Shinji paused to breathe through his mouth "…a cold."

"I will stay by your side, Shinji."

Shinji considered arguing. Then he considered the number of arguments he had ever won against Rei in either timeline and the probability he could repeat the feat when every word tore at his throat. Finding the odds were against him, Shinji gave a mental shrug and accepted his fate.

***​

Shigeru Aoba had a habit of dodging casual encounters with his superiors.

If they came to his work station, that was one thing. He'd sit there and helpfully do things to computers for them. But if he was just walking down a hallway and saw Gendo Ikari or Misato Katsuragi or even Ritsuko Akagi coming…well, NERV was a large place and any given passage had several parallel ones. An extra minute or so of walking was well worth it to avoid locking eyes with any of them.

So far the habit had added about ten minutes to this trip.

Gendo Ikari always triggered the instinct most reliably. If it was one of the others, Aoba would sometimes just walk by them while staring at the ground. It worked well enough, really. But he made it his…oh, about third most important goal in life to see as little of the NERV's commander as he could.

So it was natural that he dodged Gendo when the Commander's trip to his office intersected with Aoba's own return from the supply closet.

But once he started it was hard to stop. When his new route put him in the path of Fuyutsuki who was also going to the Commander's office, Aoba ended up even further from his original course. And then both Akagi and Katsuragi were in his way, so he went further still.

Aoba was better than most people at navigating NERV's complex passages. But by now he was out of the often-used corridors and in a part of the base that was mostly empty.

If anything jumped out of the air ducts, Aoba was going to pump it full of lead.

The moment of panic passed and when any horror movie cliché failed to manifest itself, he moved on.

The metal floors made his steps echo. The lax janitorial policies ensured that he left footprints in the dust. It occurred to him that if someone were to be following him, they'd have to perfectly match his pace and step only where he stepped.

He whipped around. Naturally, there was no one there.

Nevertheless, Aoba was happy to get back into the more populated areas of the base. When he finally sank back into his chair, the feeling of relief currently flooding him left him feeling well-disposed towards his fellow technicians.

"Took you long enough," noted Makoto Hyuga.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Anyway, you were saying before you left?" prompted Hyuga.

"Right. I was telling you how I think we need real overrides."

"Hear, hear!" Ibuki waved her hand in a vaguely celebratory fashion.

"What we have right now is code. We can shout 'stop' at things, but if they don't feel like listening, there is nothing we can do about it. I want something that actually makes them stop. The next time an Eva goes out of control and we want to cut all connections, I'd love for that to actually work, you know?" Given his colleagues' encouraging nods, Aoba went on. "And I get that the MAGI system is usually smarter than humans, but I think that we should still have some kind of final override. Just something that will force the computers to shut down whether they want to or not, you know? Is that so much to ask for?" Makoto rode the wave of his own outrage.

"Yeah!" Ibuki actually got up from her seat. "And I want a decent backup generator. Doesn't have to be much – just something that can't be shut down. I'm thinking maybe something with diesel in it."

"I'll just settle for the ability to gas any part of this facility with ozone," Hyuga smiled.

The other two stared at him.

"Come on, you guys! You can't tell me you've never thought about it!"

"Okay, I'll admit it. Maybe some more ozone pumps could be…nice," said Ibuki.

"You know…I do know my way around a pump," said Aoba. His right hand reached out to open one of his desk's drawers. It was the one containing his tool belt, with all the lovingly polished wrenches.

"Well, Hell, I know how to hook up a diesel generator," Hyuga raised his eyes to meet those of the others. "And I know a place we could get one for practically free."

"I do have privileged access to the MAGI," mused Ibuki.

They exchanged meaningful looks. In the end it was Aoba who spoke up.

"Okay. Okay. The pilots are off-duty today and if we were to disappear for a few hours nobody would miss us. You know what that means. We are doing this. We are making this happen."

"Do you mean to say," prompted Ibuki, "that we are going to repeat the same conversation we had last Thursday?"

"Word for word, I think," there was a tape lying just under the tool belt. It was exactly the right size and shape to fit the surveillance camera.

Not a minute later the three operators were disappearing into the depths of NERV.

"Say, guys? Have you ever really thought about…temporal mechanics?" was the last a theoretical observer standing at the work station would hear before even the most faint echo faded away.

And if that hypothetical observer were to find a way to log into one of the work stations and suspend a few of the more annoying security features…well, nobody would be around to notice it.

***​

The twilight of the Commander's office was replaced with normal, comfortable lighting. As far as Kozo Fuyutsuki could figure out, it was a way to throw him off-balance. If something were created to be uncomfortable and removing it made things even more uncomfortable, what did that mean?

Well, it was a question for psychologists. He was just a metaphysicist.

"What's this about, Ikari?"

"It's about everything," for the first time in a long while, Gendo Ikari looked exhausted. Or maybe it was the first time he let himself look exhausted. The distinction was at best blurry.

"First things first, though," Gendo reached into his desk and pulled out a gun. Fuyutsuki's heart skipped a beat before he realized it was being held by the barrel and handed to him.

"What is this?"

"Take it."

Fuyutsuki obeyed, holding the gun as though it were red-hot.

"The gun is loaded and the safety's off. The walls are soundproof and there are no cameras here. Nobody's expecting me today. If you shoot now you will have anywhere from several hours to a whole day to make your escape. SEELE might even let it go. They've been erratic lately."

After several long seconds Fuyutsuki carefully slid the safety into place and placed the gun on the table, facing away from both of them.

"You're insane, Ikari," he muttered.

"Just wanted to see where we stood."

If they were different people, Kozo Fuyutsuki would explain why he could never take the shot even assuming he wanted to. Because like him or not, NERV needed Gendo Ikari. They needed him to be the ruthless mastermind who could take the differing political aims of all the different organizations that had a finger in NERV's pie and turn them all towards his own goals. More than that, though, they needed him to be the utter bastard who would do whatever it took to defeat the Angels – even if it left people dead or insane. In a war for the very survival of mankind, they needed the man in charge to be someone who would sacrifice anything to win – be it equipment, principles, or the life of his only son.

Because they weren't different people, Fuyutsuki encoded all of this information into a stiff nod.

"The last battle. What do you think?" Gendo asked, his arms clutching the edge of his desk.

"It was a tough Angel. Built for combat. The extent of the damage is astonishing."

"Yes. What about the blackout?"

Yes, that would be the crux of the thing, wouldn't it?

The pilots' story sounded plausible enough. Rei to distract the Angel, Shinji to slay it. The Eva was dexterous enough to dodge shots like that, and the Angel was probably specialized enough to keep trying to hit it. If she took up enough of its attention…no reason for Shinji not to swoop in to save the day.

But damn it all, not being able to know what happened for sure wasn't a pleasant feeling.

"Do you think the pilots are hiding something?" Fuyutsuki asked.

"I'm sure they're hiding something," Gendo answered. Which wasn't saying much. NERV's alternative motto might as well have been 'We Have Secrets.'

"Even Rei?"

And for a long moment they both thought about Rei Ayanami. Rei Ayanami who had a closet full of fancy dresses and dutifully fed milk to her hedgehogs every night. Rei Ayanami who smiled and frowned and never left Shinji Ikari's side if she could help it.

"Rei doesn't think about things like we do. If she's hiding something, it may be because we haven't asked the right question," Gendo explained.

"What is the right question?"

The Commander didn't dignify that with a response. If he'd been good at interacting with people, none of them would be where they were.

"You know…" Fuyutsuki said after some thought. "Rei was always your project. And Shinji…he's your son. You insisted we bring him in. And now…you are losing touch with both of them. So quickly…"

"It's not that bad. Until the pilots consider themselves so wronged they're prepared to kill me, I'm doing fine."

"But you can't predict them anymore?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It doesn't?

"Not at all. The Scenario will succeed. If people don't play their parts, I will make them do it. If I have to beg and plead…or if I have to get everyone into position with a shotgun…I will do it."

"Ikari…does this mean you've lost your faith in the prophesies?"

"It does."

Fuyutsuki's eyes went a little round. Saying it right out like that…it wasn't like Gendo Ikari.

"Prophesies are a crutch. If things work out in our favor, then that's fine. If they don't, then we have to act."

"And do you think you can…act…on the current situation without damaging your plans?"

"That depends," Gendo stared straight ahead.

"On what?"

"Rei. How much do you think she would hate someone who pulled her away from my son's bedside?"

"If it was official business…I think she would understand."

The 'I think' was important. Fuyutsuki had never pretended to specialized knowledge about the pilots.

"That confirms my own thoughts."

"Where is it you want to send her?"

"Japan Heavy Chemical Industries is having their demonstration today. NERV is to have a presence. I think it might be neighborly to send an Evangelion. Let everyone see how the competition compares."

Fuyutsuki gave a thin smile and walked out. He wasn't altogether surprised when just as the door was about to close, the final inch of light from Gendo Ikari's office turned back into twilit shadow.

Somewhere behind him, the NERV commander's hands were slowly crawling across the desk towards each other.

***​

Misato Katsuragi didn't really mind last-minute plan changes.

It was a fact of life as a commanding officer of the Evas. The enemy showed up out of nowhere, pulled out random superpowers, and then she had anywhere from seconds to hours to find a counter using the vast resources at her disposal. The plans were inherently flexible.

What she minded was when Gendo Ikari changed the plans. The changes always ended up being unpleasant and political, detracting from the purity of her struggle.

"So," she sighed. "Now we have to make sure Unit 00 is on-site and presentable on time and that we have adequate power supplies and backups everywhere. Otherwise we're just going to look even more foolish."

"Yes, well, we're not the ones wasting money on expensive toys," Doctor Ritsuko Akagi snarled. "Honestly, do they really think that the Angels can be beaten so simply? Do they think that if they just throw enough metal at an AT field, it will somehow break? Idiots."

"I think you might be looking at this the wrong way. I think this Jet Alone thing could be good for NERV."

"How?" Ritsuko sputtered. "How is something that draws away our resources even remotely good?"

"It's a counterweight to the Evangelions. Even if it can't really compete, it looks big and impressive . It makes people less scared. When our war ends…it would be good to have something to remind the people that Evas aren't the only thing that matters."

"So you seek to diminish the fear of the Evangelion?" the scientist smiled and shook her head, cupping something in her left fist. "Useless. Man forever fears what he does not understand. And nobody understands the Evangelions. Even we who made them can only live in their shadow."

"I think that we need for people to not fear them, though," said Misato. "The world is tolerating their existence in the hands of NERV because whatever we do, the Angels are worse. But if we run out of Angels? The Evangelions will become the ultimate tools of war. The peace we created after the Second Impact will shatter."

"I guess we'll at least be ahead of the game," Ritsuko threw her arms out in an expansive gesture, looking very much like someone yawning with their entire body. "If the world tried to turn on us to take the power of the Evas for themselves, we'll be able to use that power against them."

"You'd be okay with fighting the whole world?" Misato's voice held more curiosity than disapproval.

"I guess it really doesn't matter," Ritsuko shrugged. "We won't be throwing this contest. And when they see the Evangelion next to that tinker toy, they'll know who really deserves funding."

"I guess…" Misato sighed. "Ready for the hardest part?"

"Oh, no. This one's all yours," Ritsuko had a sly grin. "I'll make sure we have transportation. You can deal with Rei."

She walked away, leaving Misato standing just beyond a door. For a moment, the Captain looked apprehensive. Then she pulled herself together, smiled, and burst into the room.

Rei turned around and Misato felt like she'd just slammed into a wall of ice.

Rei put a finger up to her porcelain lips and pointed towards the sleeping Shinji.

Misato motioned for Rei to come with her.

Rei shook her head and pointed towards Shinji again. Then she stared at Misato in defiance.

Misato shut her eyes. The past several weeks hadn't been easy on her. Giving Rei this order…she was sure this was what the pilots felt like when trying to disable an Angel's AT field. The girl obviously held the room as her inviolate territory where she held absolute sway. But Misato had little choice except to counter with her own authority. She had to be able to direct the pilots.

Opening her eyes she again made the same gesture. This time she managed to make it look impatient, though she continued to smile.

Rei took one last quick glance at Shinji, carefully adjusted his blanket, then got up and followed Misato.

Once they were outside and the door was shut so that they wouldn't disturb Shinji (which would have been a Bad Thing) Misato turned to the pale girl before she had a chance to say anything.

"Okay, so first of all I'm really sorry to pull you away from there. It's sweet and adorable, but right now we really need you to pilot the Evangelion. It's not an attack, but it's official NERV business. Please don't hate me," Misato finished, pressing her hands together.

For a second Rei looked almost as blank as she was supposed to. Then her lips slid into a small smile that was her default expression these days.

"It's okay. I don't mind."

"Really?" Misato was forced to ask. That seemed to clash with the apprehension held by the hospital staff.

"Staying with Shinji Ikari is a selfish thing. It's something for myself. Piloting the Eva is my duty," Rei explained. "I want to stay with Shinji. But if I'm needed for something else, then that's what I should do."

Misato was experiencing the feeling known mostly to people who attempted to charge a door with the full intention of ramming it open, only to find it wasn't even shut, much less locked.

"Okay!" Misato said cheerfully. Then, feeling the situation called for something more definite, "Great!"

"What is the mission?"

"Wha-? Oh, yeah!" Misato felt increasingly silly. This conversation was unsettling in a completely different way than conversations with Rei normally were. "Come on. I'll tell you on the way."

***​

Secret lairs are hard to come by.

Gendo Ikari got his by using the money and power of a world-spanning conspiracy to dig out an enormous relic containing the Progenitor of Mankind. He filled it with some of the most capable people and deadliest weapons on the planet and used government decrees to shut away the rest of the world.

Toji Suzuhara and Kensuke Aida managed to repurpose a tree house meant for eight year olds. They couldn't stand up to their full height and their only defense was a sign declaring that females were unwelcome. But it was a place they could talk without worrying that someone might overhear them.

"Okay, so what do we do now?" Toji asked. "I mean…you saw that last battle, right? That was…unbelievable. The kind of power the Angel had…and Rei! Could your Rei do that?"

"No. I'm pretty sure I'd have noticed."

"Okay. So. First my sister is fine – which is nice. Then Hikari's acting weird, which is…not so nice, y'know what I mean? And now we have SuperRei. We're officially off-course."

Kensuke nodded. Without his full knowledge, Kensuke's right hand drew a perfectly sharpened pencil from his pocket and his fingers began to twirl it.

"Okay. We knew this could happen. Things are different. Maybe different enough that we can't predict the future. The question is," Kensuke tapped the eraser end of the pencil against his nose, "how do we turn this to our advantage?"

"Advantage?" Toji asked incredulously.

"Yup!"

"We just found out that the Angels are tougher than ever, Ayanami's got so much power she probably doesn't need any backup, and all our specialized future knowledge is useless. And you're asking how this can be turned to our advantage?"

"That's right."

"Kensuke, we might not even end up as Eva pilots this time! What if they decide not to offer me a position now that they don't have my sister to hold over me? Or what if Ikari doesn't speak up for you?"

"Nya!" Kensuke flailed in outrage. "I told you before, I don't care what your Kensuke did! I made it into the program on my own merits!"

"So what do you do if they don't notice your merits this time around?"

"No way," Kensuke shook his head. "All I have to do is act like an Eva pilot. Then they will perceive me as an Eva pilot, and before too long I'll actually be an Eva pilot!"

"So…who is they?" asked Toji.

"Huh?" Kensuke stared at his friend, his mirth interrupted.

"Who's the 'they' that's supposed to perceive you acting like a pilot."

"It's…the Marduk Institute, isn't it?" Kensuke shrugged.

"Well, sure. I'm just saying, unless you plan to get your own plugsuit, it might be hard to look like a pilot 24/7. And, you know, we don't know how they choose. I think they look at DNA and behavior records over the years, and…stuff. You know?"

"No…" Kensuke mused. "No, I don't know. And neither do you."

"Right, so…" Toji started to explain.

"So we'll have to break into the Institute later," finished Kensuke.

"Wait, what?"

"It's obvious, Toji. We have a problem. We won't get anywhere by talking about the problem. We'll be solving the problem. All we need is a grappling hook, some hairpins, and aerosol."

"Kensuke, remind me to stop you later. Are we even any good to them, that's the question."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean when all the political stuff goes down, we can't help with that much, right? It's not like there's anything a teenager can do to influence global politics. We can't exactly shout things from the Evangelions or anything."

"Right," nodded Kensuke.

"So the plan was to help them in other ways, right? By being better at fighting, and by helping them not break apart so much. Except that we don't even know what's broken anymore. If Rei's got that sort of power, who knows if she's even as blank as she was. Maybe she doesn't need help this time. Or maybe she does, but not the kind we can provide."

Kensuke's face looked clouded for a moment. Then quick as a flash he brought his right hand around in a roundhouse punch.

Toji shut his eyes and clenched his own fist to prepare to retaliate. He opened them when he found he wasn't being punched. Instead Kensuke used the pencil to point towards him. The exact point, long and sharp like no other pencil Toji had ever seen, was at the exact focus of his eyes.

"Toji! I'm ashamed of you!"

"Wha-?"

"Have you forgotten the passion in your heart?! Has your blood gone cold and stale? You're an Evangelion pilot, and as such you've accepted the responsibility for protecting the world, no matter what time you might find yourself in. You signed up to fight giant monsters in a giant monster! And now you're saying we should just give up?"

"You know what?" Toji sat straighter and shoved Kensuke's hand away. "No. No I'm not!"

"You're damn right you're not! If the stakes are upped, all that means is we have to play harder. If throwing around energy beams is the thing to do, then that's what we'll do!" Kensuke glowered and grinned all at once.

"Okay, yes. I still don't know about breaking into Marduk or what we'll do and how," Toji very much wanted to stand up, even if it was impossible. "But if there's anything we can do to protect them, then I'll do it. Mine will be the hand that shields the world!" Toji shouted.

"Mine will be the hand that destroys the enemy!" Kensuke joined in.

"Our hearts will burn brighter than the galaxy!!!"

The combined scream echoed up and down the street, firmly cementing the boys' inability to keep a secret shelter secret.

***​

"I spy with my little eye…something that is blue."

"Sky."

"Right, Rei!" Misato grinned. "Okay, Ritz, it's your turn now."

"Misato, we're inside a plane. The only things to see are the sky, the clouds, and the sun if you're willing to go that far for the sake of the game."

"You'd see more if you sat by the window!" Misato whined.

The view was indeed better. The plane was low enough that the ground was more of a patchwork than a blur. Below them stretched Japan, such as it was.

Rei didn't see any of it. The sky was her guess because that's what she was looking at. She was baffled by how anyone could think of looking at anything else.

With her brain Rei knew that the sky was only light from space refracted on the air particles. But when she stood on the ground it was easy to imagine the sky as a single, fluid dome shared by all the nations of the world, shifting between blue and gray, clear and cloudy, rainy or starry. Anyone anywhere could look up and see the same sky she saw. And when she was in a plane, the sky seemed close enough to touch.

"Fine," Misato pouted. "If you don't want to play, don't. Rei and I are having fun. Right, Rei?"

Rei wasn't listening. She'd discovered that if she held her fingers just right, she could make it look like she held the sun in her hand. The serenity of a blue sky and a palmful of golden light; this was contentment as understood by Rei Ayanami.

Misato was forced to admit defeat and deflate. Between Shinji, Rei, Gendo, Shinji, Fuyutsuki, and Ritsuko, she was forced to admit to herself that she was probably the only extrovert in any of NERV's critical positions.

Rei stared into the sky. Ritsuko calmly read technical specs. Misato fidgeted uncomfortably. Eventually she tried again.

"Hey, Rei? Could you settle an argument for us? As a pilot, what do you think about this project?"

"It's useless," she answered calmly. "Without an AT field, Jet Alone Prime can't hope to destroy an Angel."

"It could at least slow one down," objected Misato.

"Unlikely. The AT field barrier extends too widely. Jet Alone couldn't grapple an Angel or even stand in its way. In this way the AT field is the perfect defense. No conventional weapon can challenge it."

"That's exactly what I said," Ritsuko spoke up.

"So that's really it then, huh?" Misato pouted. "You and Shinji…you're both doomed to pilot the Evangelions. To be the focus of the world's fear."

"No."

Misato stared at Rei. Rei stared at the sky.

"Shinji can leave whenever he likes. So can I. If we are bound to the Evangelions, it is not only by necessity. We pilot because we choose to."

Rei went silent for a few moments, her lips twitching slightly.

"Besides," she continued. "The Evangelion isn't a messenger of fear. It is one of hope."

"For now," responded Misato darkly.

Rei continued smiling.

In the air between the two of them there was a feeling very much like that of AT fields clashing. Two systems of belief, ingrained so deeply as to be unbreakable, were meeting. Backing the clash was the power of Absolute Terror – the terror of being proven wrong or of being proven right, of secrets and of discovery, and the underlying ultimate terror of contact with an individual different from oneself.

As sometimes happened when AT fields clashed, rather than cancel each other out, they repelled. Rei sat unmoved, unwilling to give her reasons for believing that the Evangelions were ultimately beautiful. Misato switched to another conversational track, one far less likely to hurt either of them.

"So, Rei…you really seemed concerned about Shinji being ill earlier."

"Of course," the girl murmured.

"And it wasn't just because he's a pilot, was it?"

"It was not."

"Rei…you really like Shinji, don't you?" Misato looked amused but not mocking.

"I really like Shinji," Rei affirmed without pause.

Misato sighed. It was nice to hear Rei say things like that, but she'd been hoping to at least force a blush from her.

"You shouldn't be so passive then! You should make a move on him. Or something," Misato shrugged.

Rei smiled wider, looking at the sun in her hand.

"But you know," Misato went on, "I think Shinji's really had a positive influence on you! Just look how far you've come out of your shell."

"Shinji has a positive influence on everyone. Every life he touches is made brighter."

"You really think so?"

"I do. Don't you?"

And after thinking about it for a second, Misato giggled.

"I guess you're right. I mean, you know that there are times when Shinji gets sad and withdrawn and then it can hurt to be around him. But I think he does mean well. Shinji always wants everyone around him to be happy. I think that just knowing someone like that has to make life better, right?"

"Right."

After a tick, Rei went against what was expected of her and volunteered information.

"I want to brighten Shinji's life in return. I want to make Shinji feel the way he makes me feel. I want to make him safe and happy," Rei grinned. "This is my dream."

NERV was not an organization where things were ever simple. Rei and Shinji's destinies were not their own. A number of different parties had competing plans for them, most of them containing some degree of suffering. It was highly unlikely that Rei would be allowed to make her pure dream come true, unless Shinji Ikari's happiness was being set up as a conduit to greater misery.

Misato knew it. Ritsuko certainly knew it. Very likely, Rei knew it too. But she still made her wish and said it out loud. That had to be worth something.

Right?

Apparently so, as Rei found the sky snatched away from her. Misato grasped her, turned her around, and pulled her into the biggest, tightest hug she knew how to give. After brief hesitation, Rei returned the gesture.

And all was right with the world, if only for a few moments.

***​

By the time Ritsuko Akagi and Misato Katsuragi reached the reception room, there were seventeen corpses in the building. Throughout the compound people dressed as techs, crew, and guests played spy-versus-spy with deadly consequences.

The efforts to actually sabotage the demonstration or else keep it from being sabotaged had long since ceased. At this point the various agents were trying to figure out who was supposed to be on their side. Any stranger one of them saw could be a hidden enemy. They could also part of another group inexplicably tasked with the same task and thus tangentially friends; or they could actually be exactly who they appeared to be and thus untouchable since any 'real' person disappearing would cause a fallout compared to which a mere bullet to the chest was nothing.

The agents flowed in and out of the action. Now and then some of them would be pushed out of the shadowy fray and allowed to blend in with the peaceful crowds. But inevitably they would have to plunge back in, desperately trying to get people to follow signs and countersigns and quickly running out of convenient places to hide the bodies.

The two women were well away from the chaos. The reception had its own kind of intrigue – one that dropped silenced guns and garrotes in favor of middle school-like antics.

Long story short, a great number of people had reasons to dislike NERV. By straddling the line between a private corporation, a military group, and a government organization, NERV was uniquely situated to receive the envy and resentment of any group seeking government funding or contrasts. Their noble mission could have been a counterweight to that, but Gendo Ikari had absolutely no interest in PR. All the people who needed to approve of him already did, and no one else had ever mattered. It wasn't as though the world was a democracy, after all.

As a result, NERV hid itself under a veil of secrets and the only time those not already in the know heard from it was when it appropriated some resource or other, leaving the other organizations competing for it feeling disappointed and snubbed. Even the battles against Angels were kept as private as possible, with all video surveillance tightly controlled. As a result even those who cerebrally recognized that NERV was saving the world hated the organization with their guts, while many others felt they could do NERV's job, and do it better.

Jet Alone became the herald of this sentiment. A project made by humans, with human technology, it stood ready to challenge NERV's dominance over the Angel-fighting market. The military liked it because it was cheaper than the Evangelions, and it used technology they actually understood instead of NERV's black-box efforts. The corporations liked it because as a purely mechanical construct, Jet Alone promised much more ways for profit to be made. The scientists liked it because Jet Alone stopped just short of needing to break any of the known laws of physics to functions. It was a feel-good affair from which NERV was wholly excluded, except for providing a token presence to serve as a laughingstock.

It is for that reason that Misato and Ritsuko found themselves alone in their table while every other table held representatives of various organizations mixing without pause or prejudice.

As another part of the unsubtle jab, they happened to be in the front row. As the show began, it would be easy to keep both the stage and the NERV representatives in view at once. That was certainly no accident.

"Hey, Misato?"

"Yeah?"

"How many NERV representatives does it take to change a light bulb?"

"Just one. But lighting it will take all the power in Japan."

"Wha-? That's a new one."

"Yeah, it's not very good," Misato shrugged. "Which one did you hear?"

"Uh, mine says it's three. But they have to be a child soldier, a mad scientist, and a creepy man in a suit."

"Rits?"

"Yeah?"

"These jokes kind of stink."

And then they both burst into laughter.

Apparently this was the cue for the ceremony to begin. Shiro Tokita emerged onto the stage, bearing the hopes and dreams of every NERV detractor on his shoulders. He looked wonderfully professional in a suit made by the top designers of Europe. Unfortunately for him, the suit's cut happened to resemble that of a NERV Section Two agent. This fact caused the two NERV women to laugh even harder.

Tokita cleared his throat, attempting to get silence. As every eye in the room focused on him, a needle flew just underneath the ceiling. The quiet thud of a body in one of the adjoining hallways was overwhelmed by the beginning of his speech.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Good afternoon!" he paused to let the first of the polite clapping die out. There were always a few people eager to jump the gun on applause. It was best to just let them get it out of the way.

"First things first. Look out there: what do you see?"

The people turned to stare at the screens or directly through the reinforced glass dome. Out there stood two titanic figures. Unit 00, forged in the shape of man, and Jet Alone Prime, looking a lot more like a block of solid metal. The robot stood completely still, moving about as much as a statue. The cyborg countered by impossibly standing even more still. Of all the pilots, Rei was the only one capable of pulling that off.

"What you see are two alternative projects competing for the role of mankind's protector. Both of these Titans are capable of great deal. But one is quite clearly better. Consider:"

Tokita waved his hand.

"The Evangelion is leashed by its power cable. It represents a single point of failure. Should it be severed, the Evangelion would have to find another one within five minutes, or else it would freeze, leaving its pilot and the world both at the mercy of the enemy. By contrast, Jet Alone is powered by an internal nuclear reactor capable of providing enough energy to let our robot function for one hundred and fifty days."

Ritsuko's face began to turn red.

"The Evangelion relies on a fragile human. The pilot's emotional state influences the machine's performance. And how could that state be anything but negative when the Evangelion can't operate without hurting its pilot? Jet Alone, meanwhile, is run entirely by a team of trained technicians – operated remotely no less! We can run actions in parallel the way no single pilot can, synergizing incoming data and commands without a pause!"

The camera feed cut to a computer center filled with techs. Most of them waived, save for one. He quietly slipped out the back door and immediately got into a silent firefight with three people.

"The Evangelion is biological. If its arm gets cut off, it has to undergo an expensive regeneration process, have its armor refitted, and so on and so forth. If anything happens to Jet Alone, we can simply swap the damaged parts and salvage anything that remains. As long as Jet Alone stands as the guardian of Earth, thousands of people won't starve to death every day just so that maintenance can get done."

And in response to a subtle sign the crowd cheered again.

Tokita beamed.

"Ah, yes. Before we activate Jet Alone, I'll be taking questions. Anyone? Yes, how about you?"

He forewent the obvious opportunity to call on Ritsuko Akagi and pointed instead towards her ideological opposite. Doctor Heinrich Schmidt was the chief proponent of conventional forces at the gathering. As far as he was concerned, the Jet Alone was just a step above the abomination against science that was the Evangelion.

"I wonder… why did you choose to build your design around the inefficient human form?"Schmidt pushed his thick-rimmed glasses up his nose. "Now obviously Doctor Akagi didn't really have much choice. But you had metal to work with. Surely you could have chosen a more conventional shape. Or were you driven by the same mysticism that still seems to permeate the Evangelion projects?"

"Well, I think it should be obvious to everyone that the humanoid shape is perfect for combat. The opposable thumbs are the ultimate in modular technology. Rather than trying to guess in advance which weapons will need to be installed into our robot, we can simply have it pick up whatever weapon it needs. And of course those thumbs are useless without proper arms, which themselves work better with a high center of gravity. But rest assured, the form of man is graceful in a way no box-like shape could ever be!" Tokita practically beamed.

If looks could kill, Schmidt would have killed both Tokita and Akagi in a single moment.

"Preposterous!" he spat out.

"Oh, no?" Tokita grinned. "Doctor Akagi, this is the Evangelions' last hurrah. Perhaps you'd care to demonstrate?"

Ritsuko grinned, momentarily forging an Akagi/Tokita alliance against a common foe.

"So be it. Rei?"

Every face in the room was once again turned towards the giants outside.

Unit 00 moved with a sudden ferocity. The titanic humanoid leaped into the air, flipped – once, twice, three times – and landed on its hands. Immediately thereafter it froze, the weight perfectly distributed down its muscles. The weight of countless tons was distributed onto its palms.

"Now that doesn't prove anything!"

"Doesn't it? Rei?"

The Evangelion lifted its right hand and placed it behind its back. It was now standing solely on its left hand.

"Now see here!"

"Rei?"

The entire room could feel the smugness that emanated from Ritsuko when after a second of adjustment Unit 00 lifted four of its remaining fingers up and pressed them against its palm. The Evangelion was now holding its massive bulk up solely by the very point of its ring finger.

"You realize of course this violates the Square Cube Law," was the only objection Schmidt could reasonably make at this point.

"Over at NERV we always say: The Square-Cube Law doesn't matter!" pronounced Ritsuko.

In fact, this was not entirely accurate. The actual saying anthropomorphized said law and then went on to suggest that it perform a sexual oral act involving the speaker's genitals. But Doctor Akagi knew better than to express it in a formal event, even though she was sure that taken separately each of the attendees would not mind the humor.

"Naturally Jet Alone doesn't have quite the same maneuverability," admitted Tokita. "But we do possess superior marksmanship, firepower, and armor. We are the sledgehammer to NERV's rapier."

He glared at Ritsuko.

"Speaking of NERV: I believe you also had a question, Doctor Akagi?"

"Yes," Ritsuko grinned, her gaze switching onto him. "How exactly do you plan to fight the Angels without the AT field? Is it your plan to stand in front of them and hope they trip to death?"

"Ah, yes. The answer to that, of course, is that Jet Alone Prime does in fact possess an AT field."

"What?" Ritsuko's face paled.

"We gave it one. It was easy. Those of you in the know may have heard of our mysterious FTW technology, no? Well, today you're going to see the outcome. FTW will make itself known in the form of Jet Alone Prime and the adaptations that will make it into the ultimate Angel Fighting Machine!"

Above the sudden buzz of conversation, Tokita raised his head.

"Does that surprise you, Doctor Akagi? Did you think you would walk in here and mock human effort and human science? Well, not today! Today we triumph! Today, we show the world that there is nothing that can't be accomplished by proper marriage of theoretical concepts with practical engineering know-how. Today is the beginning of a new era!"

There would be no more questions, that much was clear. The entire room was abuzz with shock.

"Now, without further ado: Jet! Alone! Prime!"

Tokita narrowed his eyes.

"WALK!"

***​

The Evangelions were wonderfully organic in their appearance. For all the armor and cables associated with them, there was no disguising the basic frame of a wiry and muscular creature. When an Evangelion moved, it moved like a predator, all smooth curves and deceptive speed.

Jet Alone Prime, on the other hand, was a culmination of a dream hundreds of years in the making. During the Industrial Revolution power and metal both became available in quantities never seen before. The first thing people did was try to figure out how to use the latter to move more of the former. As locomotives and steamboats sprang into being, the idea of some sort of a metal man capable of moving on its own left the imaginations of singular dreamers like Leonardo Da Vinci and entered the popular consciousness. And this metal man only grew as internal combustion and electrical cells pushed steam aside. The glory of heavy machinery spurred the dream onward and upward and as boys and men rejoiced in the power of a truck and the invulnerability of a tank, the Giant Robot reached its full potential in the back of Mankind's collective mind, and was crying out for release. The ultimate weapon, wholly obedient to man's will; the greatest machine ever built, eclipsing everything that came before it; this was Jet Alone Prime. A fighting robot the size of a skyscraper, driven by the unimaginable power of atomics, just like Fifties' America always wanted.

Point being that when Jet Alone Prime awoke, it didn't simply go from moving to not moving as Unit 00 did. Instead, massive cooling rods extended out from its shoulders, looking like pistons driven out by pressure. Gears rumbled and cables strained as gyroscopic machinery did the work of muscles. With all the ceremony of an industrial crane Jet Alone's left leg foot, then came stomping down with carefully controlled force. As servos whirred to keep the robot balanced, the other foot came up and down. Jet Alone made step after step.

"Excellent!" roared Tokita. "Now…Stop!"

In a moment of truth, one of the techs pushed a button. Tokita, Katsuragi, Akagi, and Ayanami all held their breaths.

And on cue, the giant robot paused in its tracks.

Four breaths were released, in various degrees of relief.

"Good, good. Now let's try something a bit more advanced, shall we?"

The fun thing about owning a giant robot was that you got to make titan-sized versions of everything. Extension cords thicker than an oil pipeline, bullets the size of minivans, and now a dueling case that doubled as a warehouse. Hydraulics tore the roof open and raised the floor. And a selection of rifles was presented to the two giants as two sets of targets popped up in the distance

Without pause, Rei and Jet Alone both grabbed a Pellet Rifle and opened fire.

Immediately the screens began flashing between images: Unit 00 and Jet Alone wielding their rifles in a suitably dramatic manner; the bullets flying by; Unit 00's shots striking the bullseye; Jet Alone's striking the bullseye's precise center.

"Now let's switch it up. How about more distant targets? Moving targets? Small targets? Let's go, go, go!"

The giants continued firing. Jet Alone Prime was now dual-wielding Pellet and Positron rifles, multiple cameras and parallel processors guiding its aim unerringly. Rei countered by practically juggling her own weapons, combining her natural precision with the Evangelion's own targeting computers. She didn't fall far behind, missing one in twenty small, distant, moving targets and maybe one in five hundred of the large and stationary ones. But the demonstration was never about performance, even if her shooting was wholly adequate for any conceivable Angel battle. It was about proving that a computer could be better than a human brain at certain tasks – which was why they weren't competing at linguistic comprehension or abstract conceptualization.

"Do you see now? Do you see?!" Tokita seemed to draw more and more energy from the demonstration. "The Jet Alone is superior! Watch!"

Outside Rei ducked as the giant robot threw its arm out in an apparent attempt at clotheslining her. Without pause, she dropped the gun and fought back.

It was a difficult fight. The Evangelion ducked and weaved as only a biological creature could. Jet Alone swung its arms like girders and used its fists like wrecking balls. Unlike the Evangelion, the robot lacked any sensitive spots or vital organs. The entire outer surface was a shell of unbroken black metal. Even its head was flat and stubby, its face just barely a visor. As far as punching targets went, it was completely unsatisfying.

With a sudden jerk, Jet Alone caught Rei by the throat. Ignoring her fists pummeling against its head, the robot brought back its right hand and slammed a fist into her stomach. Then without pause it retracted its arm again – in a manner more similar to a jackhammer than to a human. Then it punched her again. And again. And again.

Inside the plug, Rei's face was screwed up with pain. Her synch ratio was high enough to let her feel a lot of what the Evangelion felt. Just now this wasn't a good thing.

She brought up her feet and kicked at Jet Alone, using the leverage to break free of its constraining grip. Without a pause, she drew the Progressive Knife and slashed away wildly, leaving a diagonal scar across Jet Alone's metal surface stretching from the 'shoulder' area to the upper part of the leg.

"Well, well, looks like NERV brought a knife to a fist fight!" Tokita seemed positively delighted. "Or should I say…a rocket fight?!"

Hidden compartments within Jet Alone's torso opened, unleashing a flurry of missiles. Before they had a chance to reach Unit 00, Rei reflexively threw up her AT field, absorbing the blasts.

"Excellent! Wonderful! Now we're getting to the heart of the matter! Now you shoot! Come on! Do it!"

Ritsuko and Misato weren't the only ones nervously glancing between the giant robot fight and Shiro Tokita. The expensive suit was now wrinkled; the once-carefully groomed hair was flying in wild clumps. And inside his eyes there was something strange. Something…wild.

"What are you waiting for?! Do it!"

"All right, Rei," Ritsuko whispered into a microphone tastefully concealed in her mouth. "Let that tin can have it!"

Obediently, Rei snatched up one of the Positron Rifles and fired back, targeting the robot's legs.

Jet Alone responded by manifesting its own AT field. It was expressed as a myriad of tiny interlocked red hexagons, successfully stopping the charged particles from reaching the metal.

"Yes! It works! It WORKS!" Tokita tore at his own hair. "Now, Jet Alone! Send that obsolete thing to the scrapheap!"

Most of the techs stopped pushing buttons right around that point. A few of the more forward thinking ones tried to figure out how to politely indicate that their last employer was insane when submitting a resume.

Jet Alone Prime forged on regardless, grabbing a Positron Cannon in turn and opening return fire. The ugly gash across its front began to close as metal spontaneously bent into place and flowed together.

"It's all I've ever wanted, you see," Tokita laughed. "I wanted to show the world what the Jet Alone was the better machine. But the AT field eluded me – until now! Now I will win. All life on Earth will be based on my technology!"

"You're insane," muttered Ritsuko.

"And you aren't getting in my way!" Tokita turned back towards his audience. "I've done what I needed to. You don't get to."

He extended his hand, which held a small remote with a clearly unpleasant little red button.

"F___ The World!" he screamed.

A bullet slammed into his wrist, severing muscles and tendons. The hand twitched and lost all control as the remote fell to the ground.

Tokita's face showed no small amount of shock as he stared down at Misato, who was now holding a gun. He had approximately two seconds in which to complete the stare, because it was right around that point that Misato fired for the second time and his brains went flying out.

Four people with machine guns crashed through the doors. It was supposed to be twenty, but the rest were otherwise occupied. One died immediately as Misato turned around and fired. Then everyone had just enough time to dive down as the remaining three opened fire.

Ritsuko drew a Swiss Army knife and flipped it open. The blade did not look exactly standard, being rather more stylized than one would expect from what was ultimately a camping tool.

One of the men was about to lower his gun when he suddenly slapped his neck in reflex. A moment later he tumbled down, his shots going in a wide arc, harmlessly spraying against the ceiling. The other two followed before they had a chance to turn around.

A group of men in dark brown and blue suits burst in, walking over the corpses. The leader looked like he was about to say something, then thought better of it. Ritsuko's eyes flicked backward to see Misato looking suspiciously innocent.

Outside, Rei stared with some annoyance at a Positron Rifle trying to merge with Jet Alone's shoulder.

"Sixth Angel detected," she announced to anyone listening to the Evangelion's communications. "Designation…Ireul."

Things were definitely not going according to plan.

***​

The battle was off to a slow start.

Oh, the Pilot and the Angel took requisite potshots at each other, blasting away with positrons and making threatening gestures. But both had other priorities at the moment.

Ireul was trying to convert as much of the robot as it could into its own body. Right now it existed mostly around the armor and the control circuits, acting as the AT field generator and the primary operator. What it wanted was to overtake every system until there was no difference between Jet Alone and Ireul. It was slow going because Ireul had to preserve the systems as they were for now. Despite being essentially a swarm of nanobots, the Angel lacked any technical knowledge or the ability to acquire it. The human-built structures had to be protected during the conversion process, otherwise their benefit to the body might be lost. Ireul lacked the ability to create technology from scratch, even given adequate materials. At best it could copy, modify, and adapt the things it absorbed.

Rei, meanwhile, guessed these limitations of the Angel. Therefore her first priority was preventing anything more high-tech than a rock from entering contact with it. She chose to preserve the enormous generator that was the source of her electrical power and the Positron Rifle that was her current weapon. The rest she destroyed, methodically raking one warehouse after another with directed antiparticle blasts.

Inside the facility, the guests were panicking. Those of them screaming and hiding under the tables were really wasting everyone's time. Actions that had been marginally useful when the primary threat came from a stream of bullets were useless now that death could only come in the form of an attack that would easily penetrate concrete and still, much less an inch of wood. It was a scene of terrible inefficiency.

Misato was feeling wonderfully efficient right now.

You there…uh…whoever you are!" she pointed at the men holding needle guns. "Get these people out of here. We have work to do."

As the evacuation effort, such as it was, began unrolling, she turned towards Ritsuko.

"Well? What do you think?"

"This Angel is acting like…like a colony of bacteria," Ritsuko muttered loudly. "We'll have to destroy every part of it, otherwise what's left will just come back in a new form."

"And it has a nuclear reactor inside so if we destroy it, it can take a city down with it. Of course," Misato sighed. "All right."

Misato pressed her tongue to the inside of her cheek, activating her intercom.

"Rei! Can you hear me?"

"Yes," the pilot's response was almost instant. It was also completely calm.

"The Angel is going to try to evolve into the ultimate war machine. It's also going to want to get to a city so that we can't blow it up. That means we have to destroy it somewhere with a low population density – around here's actually good, if we can get it a little way away. Don't worry though, I have a plan!"

"Right," Rei nodded. "I can begin directing the Angel's evolution towards creating a stronger AT field. That may contain some of the blast. I will also keep the fight going as long as is feasible, which will require me to stay by the generator."

"Okay, sounds good. But don't start yet!" Misato commanded. "There is something we'll want to get past its AT field first."

"Understood," Rei nodded. "I will do my best."

Misato turned back towards Ritsuko.

"Rits, I really need a virus. Something that will make Jet Alone's reactor go beyond all control and explode. It's the only way we can be sure of destroying it thoroughly enough."

Ritsuko Akagi fumbled in her pocket and extracted a flash drive, holding it out without a word. Without a word, Misato Katsuragi accepted it. There was neither time nor the will for questions or explanations. Some things would be allowed to slide.

"Right," Misato muttered. "Now I just need a radiation suit, a flashlight, and a grappling hook."

She ran out of the hall, beating the last of the confused and frightened guests being ushered out by stone-faced men.

Ritsuko, meanwhile, turned back towards Tokita, eyeing the little remote in his hands. She quietly picked it up, then grabbed Tokita's collar with her other hand. The corpse felt heavy in her hand, while the still-open Swiss Knife fit uncomfortably into her pocket, poking against her thigh.

"Let's see what we can learn here," she muttered, drawing the body away.

***​

One of the things that made Rei an excellent pilot was her tendency to avoid arguments. She generally obeyed orders, but on the few occasions she rejected them, she did so quickly and absolutely. She might cite her reasons for disobeying, but once the disobedience was declared, it would continue to stand. There was never a situation in which Rei refused to do something, argued about it with a figure in authority, then reluctantly agreed five minutes later.

Which meant that when Captain Katsuragi approached her with a plan to blow up Jet Alone from the inside, Rei saved everyone five very valuable minutes by cutting out any theatrics and simply nodding and moving to pick up the Captain.

For an idle nanosecond, Ireul considered chasing the Evangelion down. However in the end it decided to use its enemy's distraction to make critical modifications to the robot's chassis in relative peace. The Angel's understanding of tools was not yet so great that it could estimate the likelihood that whatever Rei was trying to get would be that much more dangerous than its own improvements.

When Rei entered back into the fray, Ireul demonstrated its handiwork by opening its mouth and roaring. Rei stared unflinchingly at the once-solid head that was home to a maw filled with jagged metal teeth. The robot's hands, once robotic and smooth, now boasted hook-like claws.

"Useless," Rei whispered and showed it what an AT field driven by 44% synchronization could really do as she swung her progressive knife in a wide arc. Ireul easily ducked the blow, but the maneuver put the enormous cooling rods directly into the path of Rei's knife. Within five seconds, all the Angel had were short stubs.

Aside from making it harder for the Angel to contain the heat of its reactor, the swing deposited the good Captain onto the Angel's back and provided adequate distraction for her arrival. If an attack failed to accomplish at least two objectives at once, Rei had little interest in making it.

Ireul roared again and opened up with a blast of positrons from its right shoulder. Rei stepped deftly to her right, allowing the attack to dissipate harmlessly in the atmosphere. The Angel, thinking it was being clever, fired a duplicate beam from the left shoulder. It had spent many precious cycles converting the material of its body into a copy of the weapon it had absorbed.

Rei was keenly aware that the eyes of the world were upon her. People were running out of the base and even if they hadn't been, the entire testing ground was filled with cameras. Cameras tucked into unobtrusive places so that no matter how many building Rei destroyed she couldn't be sure of getting them all.

Still, she took on the blast with her AT field, calmly bulging it outwards so as to break up the particle beam and redirect it down the sides. It was the same principle used in the construction of umbrellas. It was something an ordinary pilot could be expected to accomplish. And, most importantly, it clearly demonstrated to the Angel the value of a good, strong AT field.

Rei silently charged and engaged the Angel in a clash of wills, one barrier pressing against another.

***​

Despite its nature, or perhaps because of it, Ireul's attention was sharply limited. The Angel couldn't possibly pay attention to the entirety of Jet Alone, much the same way a human can't really pay attention to every process going on in its body. Much of what happened was left to Jet Alone's existing control systems, for all that Ireul was spread out through them. Some of the low-priority areas were even left entirely unattended.

The Angel needed all of its attention focused on the battle and on upgrading its body's weaponry. Even maintaining the nuclear fire that was its power source was at best a secondary concern. It might therefore be understandable why Ireul might have neglected the crawlspaces ordinarily used by the maintenance crew, since the Angel had no reason to suppose anyone would try to do maintenance at a time like this.

Of course someone else did.

Up until the very end, Shiro Tokita had been trying to fool the scrutiny accompanying the project. Spraying a fine mist of Angel onto critical components was one thing – one easily overlooked thing. Installing machine gun turrets like he'd really wanted would have drawn undue attention. But getting a few 'safety features' through in order to 'prevent sabotage' was just enough to slide under the radar.

That didn't actually make Misato feel any better as she carefully tucked her feet into the air before crashing straight through some electrified mesh.

The voltage was turned up high enough to kill, but she was a healthy young woman, wearing a thick non-conductive suit, and carefully avoiding contact with the metal ground. She was also going down a moderately steep incline, as Ireul was leaning in its attempt to wrestle Unit 00 down using its superior weight. As a result, Misato went through without much incident, save for some pain. She winced as she rolled downhill, then stopped.

Whoever set up the security lasers had really underestimated just how dusty the inside of a robot could get. The question was: just how much could she stretch while inside a radiation suit?

***​

Rei was in the frying pan and doing her best to avoid the fire.

Insofar as an 'ordinary' Evangelion pilot existed, Rei wasn't it. She had the capability to end the battle practically instantly by tapping the same reserves of power she used against Ramiel. She could slice and dice the Angel without harming a single hair on any human's head.

And in doing so, she would reveal her nature to anyone who wanted to cause Third Impact. Everyone with power would bring it to bear in an attempt to kill her or capture her, or even help her. The forces unleashed by such a struggle could easily doom humanity all by themselves.

Rei was unwilling to undertake this course of action under any save the most dire circumstances.

The alternative plan was far more risk, the risk extending not only to civilians, but also to Rei herself, Unit 00, and Misato Katsuragi. However, it relied only on skills that an 'ordinary' pilot could be expected to display. Ordinary pilot; ordinary captain; ordinary scientist; a gaggle of ordinary spies and secret agents; a testing site filled with things that were unlikely to be entirely ordinary. These were the resources available for the plan. And if everything went perfectly, the Angel would still be destroyed without a single casualty.

Now all Rei had to do was be perfect.

Jet Alone peppered her with missiles, then charged in like a bull. Rei held her ground the same way she had against Shamsel. The AT fields clashed and once again leverage and layering won out over momentum. Ireul was sent tumbling backward.

Inside the chamber, Misato had to grab the edge of the doorway so as not to be thrown back down the hallway. She righted herself just as the Angel did.

"Hm. Please don't do that, Rei," she muttered to herself. Actually muttering it to the pilot would be inadvisable, since as distracted as Ireul might have been, there was no reason to draw its attention with transmissions.

The inside of the Angel was quickly getting hot. The nuclear reactor, devoid of its cooling rods, produced heat. The modified positron cannons stuck throughout Ireul's body produced heat too. Even simple motion produced heat. Surface dissipation was a wholly inadequate way to deal with the issue.

The Angel had been working on a solution, though. Looking extremely satisfied with itself, it opened its enormous maw and started to breathe extreme heat towards Rei. As energized as the particles within the breath cone were, this was considerably more dangerous than if it had simply breathed fire.

Rei desperately fumbled for the Positron Rifle. The Angel had to be taught that heat dispersal was a bad idea.

She fired directly into the cone, charged particles pushing aside hot air. This had the side effect of mitigating the effects of the attack on her. But that was only a side effect. The real effect was that the Angel had to shut its mouth (Rei noted with some satisfaction that it did so before stopping its breath attack) and defend itself.

One, two, three layers of AT field formed in front of the beam. Rei held the attack steady even as the Angel pushed the fields outward. For a while it seemed to be making progress, pushing the beam back. But just as the outermost of its fields reached the halfway point, it shuddered, then broke. The beam continued on and crashed straight through the second field. The innermost AT layer held, though. Rather than overextend itself again, the Angel drew the layer closer and grew two more layers once again. The rifle was overheating in Rei's hands. Ireul's will was completely and totally focused on the battle.

Inside its innards, Misato triumphantly stuck in the disk.

The computers took in the instructions casually, much the same way a human might take in a breath of air before realizing it's filled with the smell of a manure factory. The instructions inside the disk instantly self-exectued. With a loud hum the reactor safeties disengaged and self-destructed. A dozen rods popped themselves from the wall in a hiss of steam and radiation. The Angel's innards suddenly became unsuitable for human life.

Ireul desperately resisted the invasion, switching its attention to the affected areas. Panicked and in no mood to trifle with the malicious software, it attempted to manually restore the circuits and digital gates to their state before the attack. Misato stuck an explosive to the extended rods, another to the consoles, and ran for it.

Outside, Rei found her rifle turning off. She desperately wished that Positron Rifles exploded when overcharged, rather than simply burning out like light bulbs. Instead of pursuing this line of thought, she grabbed the Progressive Knife, extended her AT field, and charged the Angel once more.

When the Angel tumbled onto its back, Misato was sent flying down a hallway that was now suddenly a shaft dozens of feet high. Flying too fast to grab a wall with the suit's relatively clumsy hands, she prepared for a hard landing. Realistically, she could hope to get out of this with only a couple of broken limbs.

Strangely enough, it was the Angel that saved her. Having finally noticed the interloper, Ireul attempted to deal with it in the same way most immune systems deal with foreign objects – by killing the ever-living Hell out of them. Lacking in both red blood cells and machine gun turrets, the Angel reached for the nearest available weapon. Ripping wires out of the wall (and seriously jeopardizing its self-repair efforts), Ireul grabbed the Captain before the hit the ground, with a full intention of using the wires to strangle and shock.

Up above, Ireul was grasping Rei's arms with its clawed hands. The Evangelion's hands were desperately gripping the Progressive Knife's handle and were driving it down. Fortunately for the Angel, if there was one thing Jet Alone's arms were good at, not bending was it. Part of its attention was now devoted to evolving some sort of barbs or thorns on its palms.

Tasks such as fighting back the virus, cooling its reactor, or paying attention to its innards were taking second priority.

It was at this moment that the explosives went off, damaging what passed for Jet Alone's brain and making the task of getting the nuclear fire in its belly back under control all but impossible.

The shrapnel also happened to severe the wires holding Misato, letting her drop the last several feet to the ground and begin running.

Rei Ayanami wasn't the only one who liked to accomplish multiple objectives with the same attack.

***​

For a being that neither cared about nor understood humans, Ireul shared many problems with them. Humans also had a tendency to ignore big, distant things in favor of small, immediate ones. People focused on paying the next bill and ignored retirement. Students were always looking to the next homework assignment, putting off the project due at the end of the month. People ate foods high in sodium and fat in spite of knowing full well the consequences to their health.

That said, most humans would give some priority to a nuclear reactor going off inside them.

Ireul never forgot it entirely. But containing nuclear power was a finicky job, involving fine calculations and precise movements. And Ireul was now tasked with handling many of the things that Jet Alone's computers took care of before. It could free up some processing power by restoring them, but computer engineering was pretty complicated too. And when you came right down to it, fighting an Evangelion and an intruder was just more exciting than doing the meticulous self-repair work.

The last stretch of ground leading Misato to freedom turned back into a vertical shaft as Ireul sprang to its feet. She clung to the railing and pulled herself upward as quickly as she could.

A swarm of flashing red flew into her face, biting into the walls around Misato. Ireul was feeling strongly enough about this situation to have ripped some of itself from other areas of the robot and do an emergency transfer. Immediately the very shaft around Misato became the Angels' weapon. The railings closed on her fingers in a cruel bite as more wires ripped themselves through the walls to snake themselves around her. The very sheet metal was twisting, trying to grab her or stab her. She was being thrown all about as Ireul was still busy fighting Rei.

The fighting was now entering its rawest form. Gone were all hints of sophistication and finesse. Now the Angel was resorting to the favored strategy of its kin, swinging wildly and relying on its AT field and regeneration to save it from any consequences. The problem was, this fighting style was working for it. In her efforts to teach it to make its AT field as strong as possible, Rei had rendered that field too tough to penetrate by normal means. And combined with Jet Alone's greater initial strength, that enhancement rendered Ireul a better hand-to-hand fighter.

Rei tore herself away from Ireul's barbed, red-hot hands. Reluctantly, she released her Umbilical Cable and somersaulted backward over her generator. Ireul charged straight through, running unharmed through the screen of shrapnel and fire. Rei met it with her AT field raised, but Ireul kept charging and under the relentless press the field shattered. Rei dove and tumbled, then ran in the opposite direction, forcing the Angel to waste its seconds turning around. She jumped onto (and through) the roof of the now-abandoned facility and ran through concrete, Ireul following shortly behind her, hardly bothering to lift its feet from the ground.

With a sense beyond the conventional five, Rei could feel a human struggling inside the Angel, getting pulled deeper into the radioactive oven that the Angel's insides were quickly turning into. She stopped, then turned around, watching the Angel's approach.

One of the oldest moral quandaries is this: is saving one life worth increasing risk to a great number of other lives? That was the question Rei had to ponder now. With a single attack, she could save the life of someone precious to her. A momentary rise in synchronization and AT field control could be attributed to the stress of the moment. The Third Child was proof enough of that concept. It might not even be registered by ordinary sight.

It is my wish for Misato Katsuragi to survive.

Her preparation was interrupted by Ritsuko's voice filling her plug.

"Rei. Jump. Now!"

Rei obeyed without question. She leapt as high as she could, adding extra lift by pushing against the ground with her AT field as well as her feet.

Some few hundred meters above the fray, inside the armored Evangelion carrier, Ritsuko Akagi laughed and pressed a little red button on an otherwise inconspicuous remote.

***​

Shiro Tokita had had to be careful when working on Jet Alone Prime. Practically everyone in the world had been spying on him. The testing facility itself, on the other hand? Nobody had ever paid it all that much attention.

Which was how he'd been able to drill shafts all the way to the Earth's mantle, crisscross them with a network of tunnels, install shaped charges everywhere, and then slave all the detonators to a single button.

Now that the button had been pressed, the charges went off at once, collapsing layer after layer on top of each other in a controlled fall. Even further down, N2 charges exploded with far more force, driving magma upwards and onwards. With a glorious rumble, the building that was supposed to be holding Misato Katsuragi at the moment the button was pressed sank down into what was rapidly turning into a pit of magma.

Rei's fall took longer than her jump had. But she landed successfully – right on top of the Angel. She balanced herself on top of its flat head as it roared in pain and defiance, its feet being licked by molten rock. Its AT field was being buffered and redirected to stand against the heat. Every particle of Ireul was stripping itself from control circuits and internal parts of the robot and rushing to the surface to help make the AT field stronger.

In spite of this, protecting its chest was not currently a priority. Rei grinned as she felt the AT field patterns shift. With a growl, she knelt and grasped the back of Jet Alone's head with her left hand – an action resulting in extreme pain – before flipping over and driving her feet into its torso. As the Angel/robot stumbled backward, cartwheeling its arms in an attempt to keep a measure of balance, she extended her right hand outward, making it the focus of her AT field. Then she smiled.

Hundreds of meters above, a bloody knife plunged itself into a piece of computer console.

With a flash of her red eyes, Rei struck, swiftly and unerringly. Her hand went through the weakened AT field, the outer armor, and many of the robot's innards. She reached for the human figure struggling in a tangle of metal and wires now devoid of Angelic presence. With a flick of the AT field, the figure was freed. And then Rei grasped Misato in her hand and drew her out.

If Rei had been allowed to watch old action movies growing up, she might have likened her action to that of a martial artist ripping out their opponent's still-beating heart. But then she might have been tempted to use the moment to show off instead of use the falling Angel as a surface to jump from, which just goes to show you that Gendo Ikari knew what he was doing as a parent.

The Angel sank into the magma, its AT field contracting to form an absolute cocoon that momentarily kept its inside and outside firmly separated.

Then, near the apex of Rei's jump, the final thing that could go wrong went wrong and the reactor finally exploded.

The AT field persisted for a moment longer than the Angel itself did, becoming something like a water balloon filled with heat enough to eclipse the Sun's corona, concussive force enough to level a city, and enough weird kinds of radiation to provide backstory for seveeral dozen superheroes. Then, without an Angel to continue generating it, the barrier collapsed, unleashing the explosion's force out into the world.

'The world' as the explosion encountered it was currently made mostly of magma. That was no problem for the force of a nuclear blast. Instead of a mushroom cloud, it was now creating a magma fountain.

Tumbling through the air, Rei extended her field below her, the Terror of what was essentially Hell opening up below the Evangelion keeping her focus crystal clear.

The force of the blast hit the AT field but failed to penetrate it. Instead Unit 00 was flung farther and further up, outdistancing the magma sprout and flying relentlessly upward.

Rei turned her body around to slow her ascent. Then, at a critical point, she reached out with her left hand and desperately grabbed, wincing at the pain.

The Evangelion Carrier lurched and dipped, sending most of the people inside it sprawling to their feet. But it held together and continued moving.

Rei sighed in relief and slumped backward, taking a huge gulp of LCL.

***​

The elevator doors slid open. The elevator was still up top. This far into deeply classified territory there were no cameras, but it wasn't impossible for someone very, very careful to track things by the patterns of grease and dust. The best intruders always used ropes.

No dust existed within Lilith's own chamber, of course. Hikari Horaki could finally emerge from the shadows and into the light. Creepy red light, to be sure, but light all the same.

The Class Representative stared down the Mother of Mankind with her lips pursed. She observed the thousands of hands extending from the Lance-pierced torso and the pool of LCL made of Lilith's ever-regenerating lifeblood. And she didn't even flinch.

"This is all wrong, you know," she declared.

The Second Angel didn't answer.

"Right. I'm going to need a favor. Just keep hanging there if you want to help."

After several seconds, Hikari nodded pleasantly.

"Good, good."

She sighed as she stepped forward, twirling a makeshift lasso. With a sure throw, she landed the loop around one of the cross's arms, then secured it. She resumed talking as she climbed.

"I'm pretty sure you understand. You know what it's like: you leave everything you've ever known behind, set off to do something important, and then you end up somewhere totally different. Well, you just have to make the best of it, I guess,"

Hikari looked up at the marshmallow-white giant.

"I'm kind of hoping not to end up like you, though. Uh, no offense."

Reaching the giant's level, Hikari calmly secured her the rope to her belt and reached into her pockets.

"Anyway, I guess you fought Adam. And now I have to fight his children. Here. But you know, it's okay. I'm sure this universe could just use a few more homey touches. Even if I'm not a pilot yet, and my friends aren't the way I remember them…well, I guess it's silly that the thing that really bugs me is my dog not being here," Hikari sniffled.

"But you know," she continued, "I've already decided not to mope about! I'm doing things. And when your dog is gone – well, there is only one thing to do."

Hikari plunged the syringe into Lilith's body, drawing out precious DNA.

"You get a replacement!"

She stayed silent as she descended, unlooped the rope, and walked back out of the chamber. Now that her task was done, the chamber's creepiness was finally starting to get to her. She finally froze just before exiting the room, and turned around with a half-smile.

"Thanks a lot. Don't think this means you'll be getting any favors in return, though. In fact, sorry to say, but I'm going to try just as hard as I can to make sure you stay pinned up there."

Hikari shrugged…

"No offense. Again."

…and disappeared.

***​

Gendo Ikari's office was a damn unsettling place. The just barely adequate lighting made sure that every object threw multiple long, black shadows that interacted with each other to become imagined monsters. The mystical symbols on the floor and ceiling gave it an otherworldly sort of air. The Commander himself, of course, was the worst part. If the interior décor of the room was shaped to make visitors uncomfortable, the Commander's personal appearance was doubly so.

If you asked Rei Ayanami what she thought of the place, she would simply give you a small smile as her mind went back to fond childhood memories.

"Rei. Your work was…extraordinary," the Commander very conspicuously failed to put any extra emphasis on that last word.

"How is…"

"Captain Katsuragi will be fine," Gendo interrupted. "She has broken bones and stab wounds, and the doctors are giving her anti-radiation drugs. But her injuries aren't life-threatening."

"I see," Rei nodded. "Thank you."

"They'll keep her for at least a couple of hours. After that she'll be allowed to rest in the hospital wing," Gendo squeezed a pencil in his right hand. "I'll have more of your things moved in there."

"Thank you." Rei said again. Even an ordinary individual would be able to hear the joy in her tone. To Commander Ikari she might as well have been squealing.

"I don't think I need your debriefing," Gendo nodded. "The events seem clear-cut. If you want, you're free to go."

Rei nodded. With her being who she was, and the commander being who he was, she really hadn't been expecting much more.

Just before she could actually leave, Gendo Ikari decided to not be who he was for a minute.

"Wait."

Rei froze, then turned around.

"Rei…you did a very brave thing today. I want you to know that."

"The risk to me was minimal," the girl protested. They both knew exactly what she meant. But sometimes basic decorum meant not saying things everybody knew.

"Even so. Most people wouldn't have been able to do it. Even if death wasn't final…they wouldn't be able to face it. They would be too afraid of the pain."

Rei nodded. She didn't know many people, and all the people she did know would do it. But she trusted the Commander's judgment.

"You and…Shinji are extraordinary people," Gendo continued to express his thought. In the back of his brain, something was screaming. "We were only looking for ability to pilot an Evangelion. Things like courage…or loyalty…we couldn't have anticipated."

Gendo raised his eyes, staring at Rei through a field of orange.

"We were lucky."

Rei contemplated his words silently. After several seconds, she turned around and approached the table again.

Gendo Ikari was given cause to regret his choice of mood lighting. Even though he was certain Rei wasn't angry with him, red eyes, pale hair, and twilight made a bad combination.

The girl now stood right in front of him.

"Rei?"

Without saying a word, she carefully extended her hand and allowed her fingers to brush his glove.

His eyes gazed into hers, searching for understanding and failing to find it.

Rei turned around again and walked away, faster than before. The door closed, leaving Gendo Ikari to stare at his hand. Dumbfounded, he carefully closed and opened his fingers, as if trying to unravel their secrets.

***​

Shinji Ikari opened his eyes to a moderately familiar ceiling and an unpleasantly bright light. He cautiously moved. His body responded with an ache, but it wasn't an excruciatingly bad one. Things were on the mend.

A straw was pressed into his mouth. A hand was pressed into his hair. He accepted both, enjoying the ability to swallow again.

Rei ran her fingers through his hair, looking focused where other people would be absentminded. She made eye contact with him, demanding some sort of verbal stimulus.

"It's nice," he admitted.

"The orange juice is of highest quality," Rei informed him.

"That…too."

Rei didn't answer, but she kept moving her hand. Shinji's skull tingled in a pleasant way, which was a nice change from how it had felt earlier.

"Rei…you can't just stay here forever," he smiled. "Did you leave at all today?"

And if Shinji hadn't been squinting, he'd have noticed that Rei's happy smile turned enigmatic.

"Yes."

The fingers left his hair and traced the curve of his cheek.

"For a while."

 

[SeptimusMagisto]

Asuka Spares

Much to Shinji's surprise, the plans were actually coming together.

What started out as frankly little more than vague hopes guided by the memories of a future that probably wouldn't come to pass was coalescing into something greater. Things were falling into place. Rei. Misato. The Angels. Whether or not Shinji was responsible for any of it, everything was somehow working out.

Shinji had begun unconsciously referring to his plans as The Scenario. He wasn't sure why – it just felt right somehow.

And the next thing The Scenario demanded was Asuka.

When Shinji attempted to rationalize it, he could provide good reasons. Asuka was their best fighter. In her final battle she had beaten the white Evangelions – except that he and Rei hadn't been there to help finish them off. If they all fought, the end of the world wouldn't stand a chance.

There was also the balance of personalities to consider. In retrospect he, Rei and Asuka had always needed each other. Between Rei's stubborn devotion, Asuka's carefully honed courage, and his own inability to run away, at least one of them usually remained standing even when the other two retreated into catatonic stupor. And when they were all up, they were always learning something from each other – Shinji was sure things had been getting better before they started getting so much worse.

But the truth was that even if Asuka were completely useless for any conceivable purpose, Shinji would still need her to be there.

He was trying to prevent Third Impact. He desperately wanted to prevent Third Impact. But as for what he needed…well, Shinji couldn't lie to himself.

Asuka, Rei, and Misato. That was what he needed. As long as they were all okay…Shinji would be okay too.

It was a terrible thought – one that elevated his grief above that of billions of people around the world. Shinji was well aware that he should feel horrible for ever thinking something like that. But all that actually happened was that he went back to the day of staring at the wall. Some part of his mind simply stopped the remorse and self-recriminations. The three of them were the people Shinji was going to save, no matter what. If he could save everyone else too – well, it would make him happy beyond his ability to express it. But he wouldn't sacrifice those people truly important to him even for the sake of the rest of the world.

If that made him a horrible person, Shinji simply refused to care.

The far more immediate concern was whether Shinji could accept Asuka as Asuka.

For the others it was…well, not easy exactly, but natural. Rei was still Rei. Misato was still Misato. Even his father was almost certainly his father. Their personalities were different, but they were still the same people. Kind of.

It made sense inside Shinji's head, anyway.

Asuka, though…

One of Shinji's last memories of Asuka was seeing her sitting in the city ruins. She had been sitting with her arms crossed and her face pressed into them. Shinji had never found out if she was crying or thinking or what. He'd turned around and left. Asuka used the city the same way he used the ocean – or so he suspected. Sometimes you just had to be alone.

Asuka wouldn't have much choice now.

When Shinji thought of her, that was the image that came to mind: Asuka sitting all alone, in a perfectly melancholic scene. Shinji hadn't meant for that to happen. When he asked to be sent back, he'd assumed that he would end up in their own past and change it. The bleak, hopeless future that he came from wasn't supposed to exist.

Shinji was fairly sure that wasn't what was happening at all.

He was in another universe. That much was clear. But that meant that somewhere out there Asuka still existed. By leaving to be here, he'd left her all alone.

It wasn't his fault. And even if it were, it would just have been another thing to add to the list of disasters he was partially responsible for. Trouble was, there wasn't a good way to think about it.

If Shinji thought of the Asuka that he knew as gone for good – as surely as if she were dead – then that would imply that by leaving he'd killed her. That wasn't a good thought.

If Shinji thought of Asuka as being somewhere – maybe somewhere reachable – then how could he possibly think of the Asuka of this world as Asuka? If he did, then each time he talked to her or thought about her or fought to protect her, he would be taking away from his Asuka and helping himself to overwrite his memories of her. If he didn't, though, the Asuka of this world would be hurt, and he would be pained as well.

Shinji wished he had a solution. But he didn't. All he could do was wait. Wait and listen to the whirr of the helicopter blades, and hope against hope that when he saw Asuka things would just resolve themselves.

One way or the other, he would know within the hour.

***​

Shinji's heart was trying to kill him. He was sure of that. It probably figured that if it pumped blood hard enough and fast enough, then blood vessels in his brain would rupture and he could quietly expire without even realizing what happened. He could be free at last then.

It wasn't an unattractive proposition, but Shinji refused anyway. He hadn't made it through so many battles just to die of nervousness of all things. It just wasn't dignified, damn it!

He drew up his head to look around at his companions.

The first was the helicopter pilot. Shinji instantly ignored him. Most people were utterly ignorable, after all. The tiny piece of his mind that was all that remained of the Shinji who had been confident in his ability to change the world timidly suggested that he should somehow use his position to impress strangers and recruit them into his cause. Naturally, the rest of Shinji's mind took a moment to laugh internally.

The next one was Misato. And she was staring out the window. The way Rei did sometimes, though maybe less often in this universe. She wasn't talking or laughing or doing anything distracting. That probably bore thinking about, but not right now. Shinji was tired of mysteries.

Rei wasn't here. Shinji had seriously considered bringing her along somehow. It was the obvious thing to do; the obvious change to make. In the end he hadn't done anything about it, though. Him and Rei being closer…that was part of the new life. When he met Asuka for the first time, Shinji wanted to start with a clean slate. That meant recreating the original situation as closely as possible.

He glanced over at the final two passengers, who were not helping with that.

"Come on, you know the second Shinji sees the Second Child something exciting will happen!" Toji was all but tapping on the wall.

"I mean, exciting, yeah. That's obvious. But exciting doesn't mean good, you know?" countered Kensuke. "Personality counts for a lot. And, uh, we have no reason to assume that the Second's personality is pleasant, do we?"

"I'm telling you: once you see the fireworks, you'll be on my side in this."

"Shut up."

The two boys gaped at Shinji. He kept his eyes pointed towards the floor.

"Just…not right now, okay? Talk about something else. Like…how about the aircraft carrier? Pretty cool, right?"

A master of social combat Shinji wasn't. But it worked anyway, since even the two overly-enthusiastic boys could take this sort of a galaxy-sized hint.

"Coming in for a landing," the pilot mentioned casually.

Shinji's heart gave another valiant attempt at killing him.

Once outside, he waited. Waited for the gust of wind that was going to rip off Toji's hat and carry it to the feet of Asuka Langley Sohryu. And then he would see her standing tall with a sun at her back and things would make sense one way or the other.

After several minutes of watching Kensuke run around with his camera, Shinji sighed in frustration with the universe that refused to follow the rules of drama and followed Misato. They were going to meet with Kaji, and Asuka would probably be there too. It wasn't quite the same, but it was better than trying to run off and look for her when she could be anywhere on the ship by now.

***​

"Kaji!"

Shinji's emotions flared up at the tone and pitch of the voice, before the more logical parts of his brain pointed out that the source of the sound wasn't a red-haired girl his own age. It was a blue-haired woman old enough to be his guardian.

But the happiness…the sheer excitement of the voice…it was what he expected from Asuka, not from Misato.

Kaji himself didn't seem overly shocked. He wore his trademark smile – the one that always managed to look at least vaguely self-satisfied no matter what else was going on.

"Well. Long time no see."

Something was definitely happening in the air between them. Once again Shinji wished he had an ability to read people. Right now…he could only tell that the feelings were positive rather than negative.

That suspicion was confirmed when Misato rushed forward and threw her arms around Kaji's shoulders. The man reciprocated, gently closing his own arms around her back.

Shinji quietly added another possible reason to his exclusion from Misato's apartment.

"What do you say we get your paperwork finalized and then have a nice meal to commemorate our reunion?" Kaji grinned

"Mr. Kaji?" Shinji interjected. "Where's A…I mean, where's the Second Child?"

"Oh, well, Asuka's with her Evangelion. I…don't think she wants to be disturbed."

"Well, that doesn't seem very friendly," noted Misato.

"Oh, she's just been very nervous about her debut. The poor girl has hardly been sleeping. I'm sure once we get to Japan, she'll lighten up a little."

"Well, I guess it's understandable," said Misato. "Piloting the Evangelion is a big responsibility for a girl her age…or anybody really! Do you think she'll feel better if we make sure she's got a power supply?"

"Oh, I think that might just help," Kaji's smile widened a bit. "Shall we?"

***​

Now that Shinji was paying attention, he noticed that there seemed to be a bit of interservice rivalry between NERV and the conventional military. It was really understandable. Giant robots…child pilots…the fact that Gendo Ikari was involved…those who fought on the ground and the seas could hardly help feeling resentful. NERV wasn't very likeable.

Problem was, this made them less likely to cooperate when the Evangelion pilots really needed it. The various military branches jealously guarded their jurisdictions against all intrusion, particularly that of shadowy organizations with questionable motives.

But Misato certainly seemed prepared.

"And this requires you to install our power supply as soon as possible," Misato added a form to a quickly-growing stack of similar forms. "And this is a joint request from the Japanese Government and the JSSDF that you let us have the Evangelion right away. And this…"

"Look here," the captain blustered. "If you think you have enough papers in there to override our jurisdiction, you couldn't be more wrong.

"No, no, she's right," Kaji grinned. "In fact, just to make it even clearer, I have here a special dispensation from the Security Council," he added another paper to the pile. "And according to this, NERV's authority 'on arrival' becomes authority 'right now.' So we might as well skip the rest of what Captain Katsuragi brought."

"The Security Council? Of…the UN?" The Captain's face, which had been approaching the color of a heated teakettle, suddenly seemed to cool off if from shock alone, and his eyebrows nearly joined his hair.

"The same. Naturally, the whole world has a vested interest in the Evangelion being guarded the best it can be. And, well, what better way to guard the Evangelion than the Evangelion itself?"

"That child's toy? Why…ah, whatever!" the captain suddenly deflated and sagged in his chair. "Never mind. Just do whatever you want."

That was the last thing Shinji heard before slipping out and running.

He didn't want to be here. Strange things were happening and he didn't want to hear or see them. All he wanted was to see Asuka.

The rest of his run was a blur of metal. Walls and stairs, hallways and doors – all of it uniform metal. Once he nearly tripped, but he just quickly caught himself on a railing and kept running. This was a military ship. People running under bad conditions were all part of the plan.

He had to stop running for a while to get a boat. When Asuka did it, she managed to bully grown man into compliance. Shinji didn't have her voice or her confidence. But he could glare at a sailor through his eyebrows with the sun at his back, shadows lying thick and heavy on his face. That won him all the transportation he wanted.

Then there was a salty spray in his face and the vast expanse of the sea, bounded only by walls of battleship gray. And then more running, until he came to the chamber that contained Unit 02. He knew it was still the same chamber because he felt cold emanating from the door.

He also felt Time as he never had before.

This was it. The all-important nexus of events tying together things from across time and universes. The pivot upon which Shinji's own feelings rested. Something important was going to happen. Shinji didn't know what it was, or what he even wanted it to be.

But he did know that he just wanted it to happen already. With a forceful shrug, he broke through the static feeling and gripped the handle. The cold metal burned his hand with pain. Shinji ignored it and tore the door open.

"Asuka?"

***​

The girl in front of him could not be Asuka.

Her long red hair hung in messy clumps. The skin around her eyes was so dark it was almost black. Even her skin was rough and pockmarked with zits. Asuka had never looked like this. Not even towards the end, when everything was breaking down.

The girl slowly lifted her head and stared at him. It was at least an Ayanami-level stare, complete with eyes that seemed to look into Shinji's very soul.

"What do you want, Third?"

Shinji gulped. This was the part of his 'meeting people' escapades he always forgot to think through properly. If his previous experiences held up, this was the part where he would normally ask an uncomfortable personal question.

Somehow, Shinji didn't think that asking 'are you really Asuka' was going to get him anything but a slap on the face.

"I wanted…I wanted to meet the pilot of Unit 02," so far so good. "I mean, you're a pilot, and I'm a pilot too, right?"

On the other hand, maybe he deserved a slap if that was the best he could come up with.

Asuka? continued sitting on one of the floating platforms, the bottom part of her legs trailing through the cold water. She was already wearing her plugsuit.

"We're not the same," she announced in a tone of voice he really didn't expect from Asuka. It had the familiar vitriol, but it was too dry.

"I-I never said we were the same!" protested Shinji. "But still…we still do the same thing, right? We pilot the Eva. So we can understand each other."

Even after all this time, Shinji could still remember fighting Leliel perfectly. He could remember the horrible feeling of shock and fear as the pool of shadow appeared under his feet – the realization that a vitally important battle had been lost before he ever had the chance to begin fighting and now his life was in danger.

He felt exactly the same at this moment.

"Understand?"

The Asuka Who Was Not His Asuka stood up. At first he thought her fists were clenched, but that wasn't it: actually, her nails were dug into her palms drawing blood. Her mouth was forming something that couldn't even be properly called a maniacal grin. Grins implied merriment. This was a simian showing off its teeth. Nothing more. Her eyes…

Well, Shinji didn't dare look into her eyes.

"You think you can understand me, Third?"

She advanced. Shinji stayed where he was, frozen half with fear, quarter with determination, and quarter with morbid curiosity.

"Do you really think it's that easy? That just because you fell into a plug and lucked your way through a few battles, it makes us – what? Friends? Soulmates? That you have the right to define who I am in your mind?"

Shinji could feel her staring at the top of his eyelids. He looked at her feet. They were red and wet.

"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

The feeling of dread went away all at once. Shinji finally dared to look up, watching this Asuka looking tired and deflated. She examined her palm and shook her head with clear distaste.

"Never mind, Third. Just don't ever say you understand me. Got it?"

"Uhh..."

"All you need to understand about me is that I'm the strong one here. I'm the one who writes my own destiny. And I will never bend to become what others think I should be. That's me. That's Asuka Langley Sohryu."

She turned back towards him. And there was the maniacal grin, right along with the broken eyes.

"Charmed, huh?"

"I'm…my name is Shinji."

"Right."

She stretched. Shinji waited for her to say something.

He was disappointed. The girl jumped back across the platforms, climbing her Evangelion's armor. Shinji shivered. The Evangelion storage wasn't meant for normal clothes. Just outside the hull the eternal summer was slowly heating up the Pacific to make everyone on ship decks break into a sweat.

"What are you still doing here, Third?"

Shinji snapped his head to watch her. By now she'd made her way to the top of the Evangelion. And suddenly she seemed much more familiar. Looking up at…Asuka…was familiar. She put herself above others.

"Well…what are you doing here?" he counter-demanded.

"What do you think? I put myself on standby in case of an Angel attack."

"You…" Shinji was going to ask 'you put yourself on standby?' but then thought of a better question. "You think an Angel is going to attack?"

"We're in the sea, Third. Far from our resources and our alarms. There are miles of salt water below us and no equipment or reinforcements could get here in time to help. The Evangelion is as vulnerable as it will ever be. So at this point we either will get attacked or we won't. Which do you think is more likely?"

A far-off explosion rocked the ship.

"And here we go!"

***​

Two of the battleships were down. The rest were in a panic.

"What the Hell kind of an attack is that?!" one of the captains was trying to get the attention of the central command. "It's not any kind of submarine I've ever seen! It's like…some kind of superweapon! Or…a monster!"

Another battleship rumbled and exploded. A stream of water emerged from its remains. No – two streams of water, winding around each other like a drill. This was the attack that destroyed a proud naval vessel in one shot. This was the weapon of the Angel Gaghiel.

The jets of water quickly lost cohesion in the air. The central shaft fused into one while two more streams separated from it and circled out as if from a sprinkler. The water formed a shape like unto a cross for a brief second before the pressure from below ceased totally and the momentary construction crashed down in a rain of droplets.

The Angel never even had to come near the surface. If allowed to continue its assault, it could sink the entire fleet in minutes without so much as showing itself. After that it would be an easy matter to rifle through the remains for any near-indestructible objects of power.

Misato Katsuragi had already pushed the captain aside and was screaming into the comm, urging the Children to raise the Evangelion.

And the Second Child was going to do just that – just as soon as she took care of a minor distraction.

"Just where do you think you're going, Third?" she stared at him with the faintest trace of annoyance. Other than that, her eyes held absolutely nothing.

"I'm going to help," Shinji protested.

"Oh? And I suppose you brought your own Eva? Because you're not getting into mine."

"W-what?!"

Things were going off the rails again, and Shinji wasn't sure how to fix it.

"I have to go! I'm not letting you face that thing on your own!"

"Oh, and I suppose you think that putting two people into the same plug is a better idea?" Asuka scoffed. "Do you have the slightest idea of how much can go wrong with that? Mental contamination isn't something to play around with, Third!"

"Asuka! Don't…"

"Shut! Up!"

She didn't say another word as she scrambled inside the plug. Shinji watched helplessly, being about fifty feet and a moderately difficult climb from being able to intercept her.

Evangelion Unit 02 ignored the hydraulics that were supposed to raised it up and raise the roof of the ship above it. Instead it tore away at the metal covering and climbed up before emerging underneath the sky and spreading its arms as if to embrace the world.

When people thought of Evangelions, they had a certain image in mind – provided they had enough clearance to even have an image beyond 'giant robot' in the first place. Unit 02 did not resemble that image right now.

It was really the fault of NERV armor designers. They were often motivated to do strange things with the armor – like for instance giving Unit 01 a horn or painting all the units bright colors. So when they designed the C-Type equipment, they really went all out.

Unit 02's head was encased in an old-timey diving helmet whose insides were filled with tubes wrapping around the Evangelion's face. For some reason the helmet sported a pair of sharp decorative fins jutting out in an apparent attempt to stab the sea. The body was isolated from the world at large by hermetically sealed rubber and plastic which were themselves protected by a kind of secondary armor. The solid red plates of metal went around the chest, the torso, forearms, and hips. The rest of the Evangelion – particularly the joints – were protected by a kind of chainmail made from interlocked metal plates. It was like the armor of a dragon – or the scales of a fish. On top of everything else, the Evangelion sported a massive backpack with jutting out tubes and wielding an equally giant harpoon.

And it was attempting to roar.

Instead its jaw locked and its body trembled as two powerful forces fought for dominance within it.

"No…you…don't!" Asuka hissed. "You shut up. You're my tool, and you're going to do exactly what I want!"

Her nails dug into her palms. Her teeth dug into her lips. It was a good way to be reminded about pain and how much it tended to hurt. That spurred Asuka's will onwards. The Evangelion's arms slowly lowered and its hunched-over pose straightened.

"I am…I. I pilot the Evangelion, not the other way around. And I won't let anyone take my Unit 02 from me – not even you!"

Asuka's back arched and her face contorted itself into a hideous grimace.

"Besides, I know what I'm doing. Now…"

She snapped back into her piloting pose, narrowly avoiding hitting her head against the seat.

"OBEY. MY. WILL!"

The Evangelion's head fell down, then snapped back up. And within the depth of its helmet, its eyes began to glow.

***​

By their nature, secret agents are always stuck between powers far greater than themselves. Government, multinational conglomerates, world-spanning secret conspiracies – all have use for their own spies, and little use indeed for someone else's. Thus, those who choose to reside in the exciting world of espionage are always tumbling just past clashing forces that could crash them without even noticing.

In practical terms, it means that anyone who's been in the spy business for a good while learns when it's time to cut and run.

The point where battleships are getting systematically wiped out is as good a time as any.

No more than thirty feet separated Kaji from a jet plane and a fast track to freedom. Well, thirty feet and a very angry young man.

"How DARE you?!"

"Ah…Mr. Suzuhara," Kaji gave Toji a winning grin. "I would have expected you to be at the bridge."

"Why? So that we can stand and watch the fight and cheer on the pilots while you run off with your tail between your legs?"

"That's right," Kaji smiled again. "I'd offer you a ride, but there's really only room for one passenger.

"As if I would run away! Or let you run away!"

Kaji's grin suddenly disappeared. His expression was now perfectly neutral.

"Ah. I was afraid of that. How, precisely, do you propose to stop me?"

"Well, how about I remind you about the feelings of those you care about?! Do you dare to flee while Misato is in danger? While Asuka fights for her very life?!"

"Yup."

"I figured. In that case, I will stand in your way. And if you're going to act like a coward instead of a man, I'll beat the manhood into you. I will show you the truth of how a decent person should act!"

"I see," Kaji nodded solemnly. "Allow me to offer this as my response."

Toji only realized anything was wrong when the world suddenly turned upside down. It was really a very gentle throw. If Toji were in a different mood, he might have almost enjoyed sailing through the air. But because of the immediately preceding events, the boy was cursing even as he landed on the pile of ropes.

"We can talk about this later," Kaji grinned again as he walked the last few steps to the plane. "Look me up when we get back to the mainlaind."

Kaji was fortunate enough to have the plane actually be in the air by the time the red giant emerged from the sea. The planes that weren't so fortunate were pitched into the sea as the weight of the cyborg dipped the aircraft carrier.

Unit 02's red hand grasped the Umbilical Cable and jammed it into the proper plug. The C-Type equipment closed on the Cable with a whirr and a hiss, rubber and latex pulling tight to seal any electrically vulnerable components and keep them safe from harm.

Without wasting another motion, Unit 02 let go of the ship and dove into the roiling waters. Another spear of twisting pressurized water emerged to drill through a battleship, killing another score of people unlucky enough to not have an Evangelion or a jet plane of their own.

Kaji frowned, then smiled again as he watched the Cable unspool.

"Good luck, kids. Give that thing Hell."

He turned away, pulled out a little notebook, and began making indecipherable scribbles. It wasn't actually any kind of code. A code could be cracked, no matter how clever. But if all he did was associate a particular squiggle with a particular memory – well, that was safe enough.

The squiggle for Toji Suzuhara looked a little like an overly muscled arm flexing. Kaji thought it would be a nice gesture.

***​

Gaghiel was a creature of water. As such it was misshapen, horribly deadly, and inherently evil. This was only appropriate for a creature inhabiting the crushing, bitter, salty hell that was the ocean.

When it saw the dark shadow that was Unit 02 approaching from above, Gaghiel instantly shut its maw, which had been drawing in water for its attack. Instead of a jet of water the Angel released a jet of ink.

Asuka growled as the massive Angel became enveloped in an even more massive cloud of pure blackness. One that blocked not only sight but all of her sensory equipment. As far as electronics were concerned, the inside of the ink cloud was a mystery wrapped in an enigma shrouded in corrosive, poisonous ink.

"That's useless, you know!" she raged. "You can't hide forever!"

Shockingly, the Angel actually deigned that with a response. A small light broke through the cloud and tagged Asuka's armor, turning the world green.

"Right. Now I'm supposed to trace the source and fire at you. Right," Asuka nodded, then gripped the harpoon tighter. "Too bad you forgot two things. One: I'm not a fish."

She leveled the sight to point at the area within the cloud where the light wasn't.

"Two: I have a University degree!"

The harpoon hit with a satisfying jerk. Asuka laughed as the steel cable went taut.

"Biology was an elective!"

Gaghiel shot out of the ink cloud and moved through the water like a torpedo, tentacles and tail moving in a seamless motion. The fluorescent bulb at the end of a very long filament was swept in the current and flattened against its back. Asuka had to kick the Type C engines into motion. The propellers within the backpack came to life and pushed water through the various tubes, driving the Evangelion forward. Instead of being dragged through the ink cloud, Asuka sailed right over it, grinning as the cable shortened with every second.

"Glorious!"

A thousand sharp, colorful spines erupted from Gaghiel's flesh as it suddenly began to swim backward. The glowing red and black were screaming "don't touch!" to the world at large.

Asuka's instincts were screaming at her to let the collision occur, take the impact of the spines with her AT field and armor, and carve the thing up. The only problem was that the Core was at the mouth, so she'd have to cut through the Angel's entire bulk to get to it.

It wasn't worth it.

Asuka released the harpoon's catch, allowing the cable to unwind again as she floated above the Angel. Losing that particular game of chicken had cost her some distance. But this time Gaghiel was facing her with its mouth.

Its tightly closed mouth protected by a thick bony beak.

Asuka opened her mouth convulsively and pressed the controls onwards. Charge up the engines. Shorten the cable. Kill the damn beast.

Gaghiel shot out ink again.

"Useless! Useless!" Asuka screamed, increasing her speed. The ink might have been annoying, but the Angel couldn't hope to hide now. She eagerly dove into the darkness.

Two distinct types of tentacle wrapped around her as she hit the bulk. One was tough and leathery, complete with suction cups and sharp, hooked claws on the end, trying to immobilize or crush her Evangelion. The other was soft and incredibly flexible, but it hurt. It was like touching sandpaper. Sandpaper that was also on fire.

Asuka flinched, then grinned.

"Idiot. Idiot. This is really the best you can do, isn't it?"

She allowed her synch ratio to jump forty points. Her body immediately developed an angry red rash, but she only laughed as her AT field suddenly snapped the tentacles like they were wet spaghetti.

She ripped the harpoon out, then plunged it in again. She took two steps, then pulled the harpoon out and plunged it in yet again.

The Angel raged and thrashed, but its biological clockwork of a body was too predictable. Its very body was a tool calibrated so precisely it wasn't capable of non-rhythmic motion. Its weapons either couldn't reach Asuka's position or were too weak to penetrate her newly-strengthened AT field.

On the other hand, Gaghiel had two things going for it. The first was its skull, incredibly thick and iron-hard. There was no way Asuka could get to the Core from where she was.

The second was the Umbilical Cable.

With a rush, Gaghiel expelled al air from its innards, setting up an emergency dive. Its tentacles twitched in an insane frenzy, helping it sink deeper and deeper. Up top, the cable unspooled further and further, quickly approaching its end. After that, Asuka couldn't possibly go any deeper. She would either be able to hold the Angel in place – a place from which she couldn't really do much image, mind you – or else release the Cable and keep moving.

She did the second. With a quick laugh she whipped out the Progressive Knife and cut the hermetically sealed Cable.

The Angel instantly reversed directions and started floating back up, perhaps intending to disorient the Evangelion and its pilot.

Asuka laughed and ran forward along its face. She took a moment to throw the harpoon into one Gaghiel's eyes before gripping the sharp edge of the bone beak with her hand, bracing her feet against Angelic flesh and bone.

"I don't need my Umbilical Cable! I don't need battleships, or teammates, or support. I still have me! And I will kill you."

Asuka began to strain, the grin never leaving her face.

"You can count on it!"

***​

Biological limits didn't matter much to the Angels or the Evangelions. If they had, both would simply drop dead. So just because biological limits said that a creature approximating a fish shouldn't even be able to create a mouth that finds it much easier to be closed than to be open, or that something the relative size of the Evangelion shouldn't be able to wrench it open anyway didn't mean they were actually going to take notice.

Asuka strained and grunted as the Evangelion slowly forced Gaghiel's jaws apart. Her back and knees were in pain and her palms bled, but it was working. The bony beak and the terrifyingly huge teeth behind it, each one half the size of the Evangelion, were being pulled apart, making a space for her. She could see the core glistening within the Angel's mouth. And though she was in pain, Asuka was happy.

Right up until a second set of teeth carried by a second set of jaws slammed down in front of her.

Asuka had a moment of emotional pain worse than anything physical she'd felt thus far. In a brief second her face went from a jubilant grin to a mask of confusion and anger.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me!"

If the inside of an Angel's mouth could look smug, this one would.

"Third thing you didn't count on, abomination," Asuka was suddenly back to baring her fangs. "My American citizenship!"

She gave a single sharp laugh. A "Ha!" that expressed the general belief that the world was stupid and deserved to be laughed at, but that she was too tired to do it fully right now.

"In darkest day, in blackest night, yadda yadda!" Asuka screamed and let her Synch ratio jump another thirty percent. The wounds in her hands immediately deepened, and she developed a deep ache in all her muscles – like a bad toothache, but all over.

Her AT field proceeded to get in-between both sets of teeth and rip them apart. It was visible by now, taking the form of two enormous plates of pure light. Asuka strode through triumphantly, entering the Angel's mouth.

And got hit with enough electricity to power Tokyo-3.

The attack was devastating and, much to Asuka's later shame, totally unexpected. Her AT field was otherwise engaged, and her high Synch Ratio was feeding her more than her fair share of the Eva's pain. Eye-rolling, entire-body-on-fire, knife-through-the-brain pain.

Asuka let the Angel's jaws slam shut as she refocused her AT field, defending against the electrical attack and simultaneously anchoring herself. It was hard to coordinate things so finely when she was being slowly fried, but she wasn't about to let the Angel just puke her out. Not after getting this far.

On the other side of the equation, Gaghiel was absolutely determined not to die here. And it still had plenty of tricks up its throat.

Asuka felt another wave crash on top of her – this one made of sticky, disgusting mucus. Here, actually inside the Angel's body, she wasn't able to keep it all at bay. Instead she advanced in spite of it, breaking through the quickly-hardening mass with her mass and her burning will. The surface of her Evangelion was by now vibrating as though it were Progressive. This wasn't supposed to happen, but she was making it work.

Gaghiel whipped a thousand thin tendrils around her; it pushed at her with its tongue; it screamed, buffering her with the vibrations of water and mucus. Under ordinary circumstances, this would hurt. After the initial electrical shock, Asuka's nerves were temporarily convinced that these sensations were little more than annoyances.

She engaged the motors again, burning up her valuable power supplies. The period of actual movement was short; it took only seconds for the tendrils to get sucked into the tubes and propellers and gum up the works. But that in itself was enough to free her Evangelion.

Gaghiel let out another shock. But it didn't carry as much power as the last one, and Asuka was better prepared. She hurt, but she didn't freeze. She shed the backpack and ran and swam forward, desperately flailing her arms.

And in a glorious moment, her hands locked around the Core.

It was so small, really. The Angel was so much larger than the Evangelion, but its core was about the same size as that of the other Angels. Someone not in Asuka's position might feel compelled to speculate about that. Having been shocked, poisoned, scratched, and slammed about, Asuka had other plans.

She grasped the core tighter. The Angel desperately attempted to dislodge her by puking out its own organs. But there was no way she was going to let go.

She used her AT field against her own helmet. The transparent steel of the helmet cracked and shattered. The tubes were torn apart by the internal pressure, bubbling precious oxygen and LCL out to mix with water and mucus.

Asuka suddenly felt the immense pressure of the water on her head. She opened the Evangelion's mouth and her lungs burned.

But when she sank her teeth into the Core, she felt the sweet taste on her own tongue. And as Gaghiel's body began to melt into red liquid, she felt good.

***​

It had been like this for Shinji once before. When Asuka went into the volcano, he'd had to sit and watch her. Except that even then he'd had his Evangelion. So even if he hadn't been able to help her fight, he'd been able to rescue her at the end. This time he was just a helpless observer. Like Misato…or his father.

Except even worse, because there was nothing to observe. He couldn't see the battle. There were flashes of darkness and light, and an occasional muffled sound, but he had no idea what was actually happening.

So when the water beneath the entire fleet suddenly turned red, he had reasons to be concerned.

"This…this has to be the Angel's blood," he whispered. "There is too much for Unit 02."

And then the sea parted in front of him. As if by a miracle, the waves tore themselves apart, letting Unit 02 rise into the air.

"Ah," was all Shinji could say. He found himself quite shocked at how relieved he was.

The Evangelion was shedding droplets as it fell. And as the light of the sun broke against them, a rainbow of red formed. Every shade of the color bloomed in the air, from blush-pink to the deep red of old wood. And as the Evangelion reached the zenith, Asuka's oddly-cheerful voice exploded from the speakers.

"I've won!" she declared.

And then the waves closed and the Evangelion fell back into them, beginning a leisurely swim.

***​

Asuka passed the physical with flying colors. Her Synch Ratio played both ways. When the Evangelion hurt, she hurt. When the Evangelion's wounds healed, so did hers. So she stood in NERV with her spirit unbroken and her flesh unmarred. Even the bags under her eyes were less prominent now.

If anything, Doctor Akagi looked worse than Asuka. Such was the result of pulling an all-nighter in preparation for Unit 02's arrival, then being pulled from her well-deserved rest to deal with its injuries.

"I'm sure you must be tired of everyone telling you this by now, but you did a great job, Asuka," Ritsuko tapped her clipboard. "Killing an Angel all by yourself…underwater, too…it's really impressive."

Asuka didn't say anything. She didn't need to. Bragging was reserved for use against people who didn't realize her greatness. She just beamed with pride.

"Only problem is, that ink seems to have really messed with some of the sensors. They seem to suggest that your Synch Ratio never dipped below a hundred, and at one point it was just under two hundred. I assume that's not accurate."

"Of course not," Asuka shook her head. "I'll get there someday. Someday soon, actually! But I can't do something like that yet."

"A cascading sensor failure it is, then," Ritsuko made up a scientific term. "Makes sense, I suppose. In reality I'm sure you had a Synch Ratio in the sixties-"

"Seventies," interrupted Asuka.

"-Seventies throughout the fight, climbing maybe into the eighties at the climax."

"That sounds about right," Asuka nodded.

"And the Angel's electrical surges seem to have shorted out the power timer. It seems unable to distinguish between the times you are plugged in and the times you aren't."

"Yeah, yeah," Asuka nodded eagerly. "I noticed that. But I just had to kill the Angel as quickly as I could and hope I had enough time."

"Well, it'll take some work, but I'm sure I can convince the timer that you still require a power supply," Ritsuko smiled. "Computers. What can you do?"

The two of them laughed. After a good ten seconds, merriment turned to discord. The laughter began to get unpleasantly intense. Then Ritsuko suddenly cut herself off. Asuka followed a second later.

And the scientist stared down into the scariest eyes she'd ever seen. Reflexively, her right hand reached down into her pocket and carefully squeezed something made of ornately crafted metal. Carefully to avoid pricking fingers with one of its many sharp points and getting blood all over it.

That was only for when things got really bad.

"Anyway, you're free to go. I, on the other hand, get to fill out official reports. Honestly, life would be so much easier if people just took our word for things. The Angel's dead, right? What does it matter how or why?"

Asuka gave a smile that was actually somewhat pleasant and human-like, nodded, and walked out.

She felt like taking the most intense shower in the history of mankind, followed by a bath and an attempt at sleep. But she hadn't undergone nearly enough emotional exhaustion to guarantee at least several hours' worth of unconsciousness yet.

Fortunately, she knew where to find some in a hurry.

***​

"A-Asuka!"

For the first time the pilots were in one room. Shinji was out of the chair he'd been sitting in a second earlier. Rei remained resolutely in hers. Asuka stood in the doorway, her hair swishing around a bit.

"Third," she said drily. Shinji shivered under her gaze, which was thereafter turned on Rei. "First."

"Second."

It was strange. Both girls spoke in nearly identical, emotionless tones. But when Asuka spoke like that it sounded hostile. When Rei did it, it was almost friendly.

"Good. The introductions are out of the way," Asuka turned around.

"W-wait!"

Asuka's eye twitched.

"Third," she repeated drily. "What do you want?"

Shinji swallowed and trembled, but found his voice.

"You…you don't have to go yet! Stay with us."

Asuka turned around, cocking her head.

"It looks like we'll need to establish a few ground rules," she breathed out.

Shinji gulped. Rei kept a small smile going.

"Didn't I tell you not to try to understand me? We're not going to become friends just because it's convenient, Third. We're just not. We're barely even going to be teammates."

Shinji tried to open his mouth, only to have Asuka extend her hand, almost pressing the tip of her finger to his lips.

"Don't interrupt me while I'm talking. Here is my point. I'm not going to be friends with you two, or trust you in battle, because that would endanger me. I'm strong, and you two are weak. I know what I'm doing, and you two don't. I can handle whatever the Angels throw at us. You two? You would break. I don't need you two to protect me, and I won't have time to waste protecting you. So when it comes time to fight, just stay back and let me handle everything, and you might just live through this whole thing."

"Y-you can't!"

Asuka's eyes focused on Shinji, who was once again refusing to care.

"You can't think like that! And you can't fight the Angels alone, either! You'll only get hurt! We have to fight together and protect each other. We have to!"

Asuka's mouth opened with what was apparently shock. Her eyes narrowed.

"Are you saying you know better than I do, Third? Are you saying you're – what? Smarter than I am?"

"No, I just…" Shinji took in a big breath. "I just know that no-one can win this fight on their own! Not even you."

The slap he received turned his head by ninety six degrees and left a bruise that would take two days to heal fully.

"Idiot! You will shut up and watch me win this on my own. I have no use for scared little boys in my battles."

"Enough."

By the time Shinji turned around, all that he could see before him was blue hair. Somehow in those few moments Rei had interposed herself between him and Asuka.

"You won't hurt him again. And you won't speak that way to him either."

The overwhelming anger seemed to drain from Azuka's features, settling into something else. If Shinji or Rei had been any good at reading faces, they might have known if it was sadness or resignation, or determination, or what.

They had bigger problems to worry about a second later. Asuka's eyes darted to the small table in the middle of the room. It featured a small water pitcher and several glasses.

Asuka picked one of the glasses up and without particular malice shattered it against the table, then pointed what remained at Rei.

"If that's how it's going to be. Make me."

Rei's eyes went wide as she stared at the improvised weapon in Asuka's hand. The glass shards were long and very much sharp. One in particular extended almost three inches beyond all others and ended in a needle-thin sliver.

"I'm sure you could beat me if you tried. Unless there is some reason you don't want to try?"

Asuka's overall expression didn't change. That just meant that the smug grin forming on her features looked extra creepy.

"Well? Are you going to do anything?"

She almost jokingly jerked the broken glass forward. Rei flinched away.

"Didn't think so. Never tell me what to do again."

Asuka let the glass fall from her hand and shatter the rest of the way. She turned around to exit the room again. Just before she could fully disappear, she turned around one last time.

"Well? Clean it up, idiots."

Shinji quietly stared at the shattered pieces of the glass. It was amazing how easily he could turn this into a metaphor for his Scenario.

But then again, Shinji really did hate this sort of metaphor.

"Rei? Can you help me find a broom?"

Which didn't mean he couldn't use it.

 

[SeptimusMagisto]

Dance With Us! Dance Into Oblivion!

Gendo Ikari sat in a spotlight. Surrounding him were eleven holographic obelisks and a single holographic Lorenz Keel leaning back in his chair with his arms folded behind his head. As far as Gendo Ikari could figure out, the old man was either crazy or a master of psychological warfare playing the game on so many levels Gendo couldn't even imagine them all.

"So…" Keel drawled. Gendo kept his face straight, clutched his knees, and stayed silent.

After about a minute, Keel gave up and continued the conversation on his own.

"You have three pilots and three Evangelions now. That must make you happy."

After careful consideration, Gendo decided this warranted a response.

"It will make killing the Angels easier."

"Right. Are you satisfied with what you have?"

"No."

"Of course not!" Keel laughed heartily. "You are the least Japanese person I've ever met, you know that?"

Gendo went back to silence. If Keel was indeed playing with him, less talking was preferable to more. By letting Keel do the talking, he could try to figure out where the other man was going.

"Anyway, we've been trying to figure out what to do about your budget allocations. There has been a range of opinions. Frankly, you're already doing pretty well. One Evangelion seems to be enough to destroy even the toughest Angel when it's piloted by someone with actual training. Having three of them should do the job twice over."

Gendo still didn't say a word. If there were ever a time to rise to the occasion with a passionate defense of NERV's function in the world, this was not it.

"But on the other hand, we acknowledge the importance of redundancy and the critical nature of your project. It's not impossible that one day you could need more Evangelions to handle the threat. It's easy enough to tell you my colleagues have split into two factions, each one presenting some pretty compelling arguments."

Keel grinned.

"…Which I thereafter ignored in favor of making an executive decision. I'm going with the 'more money' option. As amusing as it would be to watch you scrabble through this with minimal Evangelions, I want to see what you can do with some real resources at your disposal. So you're getting increases in your repairs and defense budgets, a big increase in the weapons development budget, and we'll pay to speed up the construction of the other Evangelions."

Gendo resisted the impulse to pinch himself.

"That said, I'll be tying this money to a certain condition. If you want it, you'll have to…let me see…have the pilots do a formal dinner and ballroom dance a couple of months from now."

It was funny. The silence didn't change in any way detectable by scientific equipment, but Gendo heard it become dumbfounded.

"You have to be joking," he stammered out at last.

"Nope. Not joking. Never joking," Keel shook his head.

"Then…why? Why make a mockery of this?"

"None of your business. So – what do you say?"

"I say this is asinine," Gendo rose from his chair. "You're playing games with the future of mankind!"

"Ikari. Sit down or I'll come over there and slap you down."

Gendo stared in astonishment as Keel demonstrated a white-gloved hand making a swatting motion.

"What."

"You heard me," Keel grinned. "Are you going to comply, or do I have to slap you?" a simile went unsaid, but not unheard.

After several seconds of his fingers trying to find something – anything – to crush, Gendo crashed back to his chair.

"Good," Keel's grin was approaching Cheshire Cat qualities. "So…ballroom dancing? No ballroom dancing?"

"I…will do what's expected of me," Gendo answered through clenched teeth.

"Perfect! Enjoy your budget. Meeting over, gentlemen!"

And all the lights went out. All that was left was the darkness and the sound of a chair being smashed into splinters.

***​

Shinji Ikari did not run away. Ever.

Sometimes he refused to fight. Sometimes he retreated into a catatonic ball of fear and tragedy. But once he committed himself to the fight, losing any ground was not an option.

So if someone thought something like a little broken glass could deter him from social contact once he'd made the plunge, they were sadly mistaken. Rejection hurt, but if he retreated now, then that pain would be for nothing!

It was perhaps fortunate that Shinji Ikari had no concept of sunk costs.

Shinji went over what he knew about hedgehogs, which was more than what he knew several months ago. When a hedgehog curled into a ball, most predators couldn't get at it. Among the exceptions were badgers and foxes. A badger had claws that were sharp enough and long enough to get through the needles and forcefully open the hedgehog up. A fox couldn't do that, and so was forced to come up with clever strategems, such as gently rolling the hedgehog into a nearby puddle, forcing it to uncurl so that it could swim.

Leave it to Shinji Ikari to be the first one to make an answer to 'what kind of animal are you?' quiz actually relevant.

Step one was finding a way to get Asuka to interact with her teammates whether or not she wanted to. Step two…was not something Shinji wanted to think about. He thought he had a hang on the whole social relations thing now, and the important thing was to always plunge ahead with no thought for the potentially disastrous consequences.

Always.

Shinji gently rang the doorbell. He missed having his own key to Misato's apartment. He missed staying there in general too. That wasn't the issue at the moment.

"Shinji! Hi!" Misato beamed. "Rei isn't joining us today?"

"No. Not today. She had something else to do."

"Huh. I'll have to make sure to have tea with her sometime during the week, then," Misato shrugged. "Wouldn't want to give her the chance to withdraw into her shell again."

Shinji didn't say anything as they walked together.

This was nice, usually. Even if he didn't live with Misato, they at least set some time to spend together each week. Sure it had to be scheduled, and no matter how relaxed Misato was or he tried to be, it was difficult to recapture the kind of easy intimacy they'd shared as roommates. But at this point Shinji was willing to take whatever he could get.

"…And so we'll have a chance to get you a lot more neat toys. We can keep rubbing our superior particle beams in JSDF's face, and I'm sure Asuka will appreciate a wider selection of Progressive weapons. Hell, with the new weapons budget I bet we could get her a Progressive Sword! Or a Progressive Battleaxe! I have no idea how those would work, but you can't tell me it wouldn't be cool!"

Shinji saw his opening.

"Asuka?" he asked in a dejected tone.

"Yeah, Asuka. How are you getting along, anyway?"

"Ah. To be honest, we haven't talked much."

That was a major understatement. He hadn't spoken to Asuka once since their first encounter. She had her own quarters in a different wing of the base, and she wasn't attending classes yet. They had one simulator exercise together and that was it. Asuka had been silent the entire time.

"Oh, no? You should. It'd be good for you to get to know her," Misato smiled obliviously.

"I guess so," Shinji stared down. "I mean…I guess that would solve it, right?"

"Hm? Solve what?" Misato's eyes flickered.

"Well, it's just that…" Shinji didn't need to fake stumbling over his words. "When I'm with Rei, I can guess what she's thinking, and it helps me know what she'll do next. So when I fight by her side, that makes it easier. But when I'm with Asuka…I can't do that. So that makes it hard for me to know what to do, or how to talk to her."

"Oh!" Misato blinked. "Is it really that bad for you?"

"I guess?" Shinji shrugged. "Maybe it will be different after we actually fight together? But until then…I just don't know."

He felt Misato's hand slam onto his shoulder and had to fight to keep a smile hidden.

"Don't you worry about it, Shinji! If this has the potential to become a problem for you as pilots, then it's my responsibility as Operations Director to deal with it!"

"I…thank you, Misato!" he let his smile out.

Operation Puddle Roll was on.

***​

An homonym: a word that was spelled the same and even sounded the same, but meant different things. A word that reflected humanity's ambiguousness and imperfections. A declaration that all things could only be understood within their proper context.

Asuka: a word that meant two different things.

Asuka meant the girl from his first life. How he felt about her…was hard to explain. She was rude and brash, and she made him apologize for apologizing, and then yelled at him over it. But she also gave him first kiss, and she came back from Third Impact with him. Asuka was the happy, smiling girl who wanted to show herself to the world. Asuka was the angry, outraged girl who wanted to punish the world. And Asuka was the hurt, sad girl who wanted only to push the world away. She was fractured and complex, none of her aspects encompassing the entirety of her being. And yet she was someone he understood perfectly.

Asuka meant the girl from this life. The one who terrified him as much as any Angel by combining the threat of physical violence with the threat of social anxiety. How he felt about her…even he didn't know. He was scared of her, that's for sure. But he still wanted her on his team. He wanted to understand her, even if she didn't want him to. Because she wasn't made of pure anger, any more than any other person was made up of only one emotion. People weren't like that.

The Asuka who was here wasn't the same as Asuka who wasn't. But when Shinji swore to save Asuka, he hadn't specified which one. So even if he couldn't accept this Asuka as Asuka, he would still protect her, even if she said she didn't want him to. What people asked for when they felt bad wasn't always what they wanted, or what they needed.

His decision not to fully accept Asuka as Asuka meant there was another Asuka out there. In a way that was almost worse than if she were gone, because it meant that he'd left her all alone. It bothered him.

But it only bothered him the same way the Third Impact bothered him. It was terrible and guilt-inducing, but it wasn't easy to fix. If Shinji ever found a way to pluck people from other dimensions, he would save her too. But until then it was just another thing to shut away in a dark corner of his mind. The rest of his mind had work to do.

He looked up carefully to sneak a glance at the Asuka of here and now over the top of his new updated schedule. The schedule that proclaimed that an entire week's worth of Synch tests and simulations was now replaced with something called 'joint training.'

Asuka didn't look particularly happy at that. But then she never looked particularly happy.

I mustn't run away.

"Asuka," he called. Her eyes flicked up to bore into him.

"What do you want, Third?" her voice was dry, but didn't hold particular malice.

"We need to talk."

Asuka's eyes narrowed slightly. In a chair next to Shinji's, Rei clutched her book slightly tighter.

"So? Talk."

Shinji flicked his eyes around the room, looking for a camera he was sure was there somewhere.

"Alone."

Asuka's eyes narrowed further, becoming unpleasant slits.

"So what you're saying is that I have to talk to you? Alone?" she clarified.

"No. We both have to," Shinji shook his head and went for his trump card. "Please?"

Asuka didn't exactly look happy. But her narrowed eyes widened again ever so slightly.

"You have ten minutes."

She followed him out of the room. With every step Shinji felt like he was digging his grave further and further. But it was still better than actually getting into the grave, so he kept leading her slightly longer than strictly necessary. But after wasting three of his precious ten minutes, he finally stopped in the middle of an empty hallway. He looked into the dangerous eyes of the girl who declared she didn't want his help. And he took a deep breath.

"Well?" she asked.

"I didn't tell anyone about what you did," he declared.

Whatever reaction Shinji expected, shrugging probably wasn't it.

"So?"

"But…if you do something like that again…I will report you."

Asuka looked the boy up and down, paying particular attention to his shaking fists. Incredibly, she smiled slightly.

"It's not like she was going to take me up on that, anyway. I was just making a point, that's all."

"That was making a point?" Shinji was genuinely dumbfounded.

"You two needed to learn who's the alpha around here."

"Fine!" Shinji threw himself up. "You can be the alpha! I don't care! Just don't threaten us for trying to do our jobs!"

Asuka glowered at him slightly. But Shinji didn't feel the kind of killing intent he had felt before. Maybe that was good.

"I'll tell you what, Third. I won't threaten you as long as you two don't threaten me."

"We never threatened you!" objected Shinji.

"Oh, please. 'You won't hurt him'? Like that's not equivalent to 'Touch him and I'll rip your heart out through your throat' coming from her. Honestly, how dense can you be?"

"I…okay. Nobody threatens anybody. I'll tell Rei."

"But honestly, if you can't even handle a little thing like that, how do you expect to face an Angel?"

"It's different!" Shinji objected. "When I'm in my Eva, it's different. I expect the Angels to try to kill me. The people around me shouldn't."

Asuka threw her head back and gave a single "Ha!" that echoed up and down the hallway.

"What?!" Shinji demanded. He honestly couldn't see what was funny about that.

"You think that you can just separate your life like that? That you can have one part with Angels in it and one part without them, and everything will just line up just the way you expect?"

There was nothing but derision in her eyes. For a moment, Shinji could see his self in Asuka's mind, and it was the self of a small, stupid boy. And that wasn't fair. He knew more about Angels than she did. How could she judge him like that?

Shinji wanted to snap back at her. But you didn't do that with the 'alpha.' Not unless you were looking for a fight, right then and there.

"It's different," he insisted sullenly.

"And yet you're surprised when I tell you you're weak," Asuka shrugged. "Now if that's all…"

"It's not all!" Shinji interrupted desperately. "I understand that you think I'm weak. But Rei and I…we've killed Angels already!"

"Early Angels," Asuka retorted without a pause. "Haven't you noticed? Each new Angel has been worse than the one before. What are you going to do once they get beyond the stage where you can stab them with a knife and go home?"

"I…"

"What will you do when an Angel eats the Angel-free part of your life, Third?" her eyes were staring into his again, and it was almost hypnotic.

"Whatever I have to," he answered, somewhat to his own surprise.

"Hmph," how Asuka managed to put so much skepticism into a word without any vowels, Shinji would never know.

"Asuka, please," he pleaded. "I'm not challenging your strength. But the reason I pilot my Evangelion is to protect this world that I love! And that's not something I can stop!"

Shinji kept staring at her. He summoned the desperate confidence that usually served him in such conversations, and found his reserves tapped out. He tried to call upon the sense of Time, but it didn't come. He tried to use his own bravery, but it wilted under the gaze of those desperate eyes that held only contempt. So instead he relied on pure truth. Because he really didn't intend to ever back down against an Angel, no matter what Asuka thought. And he really wasn't going to ever give up or run away. No matter what. If it cost him his life…or even his very soul…he was going to do what he set out to do.

Shinji had no idea how to express that with his gaze, so he just played the thought over and over again in his head, hoping it would show up somehow.

And maybe it worked, somehow, because the look of contempt suddenly became a look of…pity, maybe? The kind of look someone might give to a baby bird that fell out of its nest before moving on and leaving it to die.

"If you get in my way, I'm stabbing the Angel through you," Asuka declared at last. "And that's not a threat. That's a promise."

"Okay," Shinji nodded. It wasn't, but it was enough.

"I don't need teammates," she continued.

"Okay," it wasn't at all, but he wasn't going to say so.

"I can kill the Angels just fine on my own."

"But you will accept that Rei and I will also fight?"

She looked at him and he thought determined thoughts again. At last, the very corners of her mouth twitched up slightly.

"Okay."

"Shinji?"

They both turned around to behold Rei standing just to the side.

"It's been eleven minutes."

Asuka's smile became a little bit bigger.

"Punctual."

It felt like she wanted to say more, but she didn't actually do so. Instead she led the way back.

"Now, just because I'm letting you two share my battlefield, it doesn't mean I'm going to save you!" she declared. "If you become a liability, then you have to get off the battlefield right away. And when I tell you to do something, you will do it, instantly and without question. Otherwise? You die. I can guarantee that."

As Shinji walked forward, letting the sound of three synchronized footfalls wash over his ears, he allowed himself the smallest feeling of – relief?

This wasn't perfect. But then, what was?

***​

In his heart of hearts, Shinji had to believe that it was possible to create a unisex outfit that didn't just settle for making both sexes look equally ridiculous. But the thing he was wearing wasn't it.

He really didn't see why his midriff had to be bare, would be the point.

The girls seemed to be adjusting to their outfits much better. Which is to say they both totally ignored what they were wearing. Shinji wasn't finding it easy to do the same.

He turned his eyes towards Misato instead, finding it to be slightly safer territory. To better fit into her supervisory position, Misato chose to wear a blue tracksuit. There was a whistle dangling from her neck, and Shinji did not want to know when she thought she would have occasion to use it.

"Right!" Misato shouted in her best 'coach' voice. "Do you know what the single most important element of teamwork really is?"

None of the three Children in front of her were the kind of children who raised their hands in class. Like all the best teachers, Misato only let the silence drag on for about seven seconds before answering her own question.

"Empathy! You have to be able to get inside each other's heads. Predict each other's moves. You have to be able to know exactly what your teammates will do without talking to them, without looking at them, without even thinking about it. You have to know each other better than you know yourselves!"

Misato pouted when she realized she wouldn't be getting a proper response. Even a silent nod or something would have been good. Just something to acknowledge she was being heard and understood.

"Okay! How about we run a simple exercise to see where we are right now? I have a feeling that we have a lot of work to do, but we'll just see how much…with the power of dance!"

They understood that one!

Misato casually pressed a button and a dark corner of the already shadowy gym lit up. What was just another patch of darkness a second earlier was now a festival of light and color as three large screens flashed eclectic designs in front of three mats covered in colored circles.

"Well? Come on, get in the game! Or are you all too chicken?" Misato tried to make her voice sound just as mocking as she could.

There was a moment of pause during which Misato wondered if she'd gone too far with her attitude. She'd guessed that for an exercise like this a friendly, slightly sarcastic demeanor would work best. But maybe that was the wrong choice. Maybe she had to order them like a commander to get them into it.

And then Rei suddenly reached out to grab Shinji's hand and pull him forward.

"Ah! Rei, what are you doing?"

"We should do this."

"Ah…we should?" Not that Shinji had any actual objections – this was all really his idea, really – but it still felt weird to see Rei take initiative in something.

"If we learn to move together, we will never leave each other behind," Rei explained. Or at least she probably thought it counted as an explanation.

"Aha, ha," was all Shinji had to say to that.

But actually, Shinji was never very concerned about how well Rei would take to the exercise. She would follow her orders, of course. More importantly, they already worked well together. When it came to social situations, Rei continued confusing him – and his confusion only seemed to increase as time wore on. But when it came to combat, she was always steady and predictable. The kind of partner he needed when it was time for him to do something crazy.

Asuka, though…she was the other kind of partner. Ruthlessly competent in her own right, much more inclined to question orders and to run out ahead of the pack. He had difficulty predicting what his Asuka would do, never mind this one. And, contrary to what he told Misato, he was at least partially okay with that. What mattered much more was whether Asuka would be willing to work with them at all.

Shinji felt that this would be his real test at last. Up until now it seemed like all he had to do was suggest something, or even just hint at something, and it would happen. But now he had to come up with a perfect sentence that would persuade Asuka to do what had to be done. Even if it would make them all look stupid; even if it meant a tacit acknowledgment that one day he and Rei would be allowed close enough to the battle that Asuka would have to anticipate their actions; he had to convince her to go through with it, or else the team would end up as a tripod with one broken leg.

Shinji opened his mouth…

And closed it again as Asuka grimly stepped forward, placing her bare feet onto the circles.

If Shinji had very good observational skills, he might have noticed Asuka quietly fingering something in her pocket. If he had X-ray vision, he might have known it was the key to her NERV-based apartment. Two rooms and a bathroom which were entirely her own, with no roommates or supervisors.

Unfortunately that still left Shinji a really good spy course and a very fortunate radiation exposure short of knowing what was going on.

And so the three Children stood in front of the screens, each in their own little world. Rei looked serene and pleased with her circumstances, the light reflecting from her eyes in a way that made them shine. Shinji looked confused, panicked, and yet oddly pleased. Asuka just glared at her monitor in manifest contempt.

"So…" Misato's eyes flashed. "You think you can dance?"

"Yes," said Shinji.

"Yes," echoed Asuka. Shinji's Asuka would have had a full rant about the indignity they were being subjected to. This Asuka managed to pack all the bile from that five minute speech into a single word.

"I won't be left behind," answered Rei. Nobody asked what she meant.

"Well, okay then! We'll start with a simple dance routine. Try to match each other's movements. But don't let me know who's leading and who's following."

The music began. Experimentally, Shinji watched the girls who stood as stock-still as he did. Even more experimentally, he stretched out his hand to slowly touch a circle.

Two other hands touched the same circle at the same time on two other mats.

Without saying a word, Shinji carefully put his foot backward and touched a blue circle. If he were in an Evangelion, this would be the assumption of a starting position from which the Eva could run like lightning.

Somehow, he didn't even need to look at the girls. He knew they'd assumed the same position.

And then Shinji sprang into action. He really wasn't sure if he was leading or following some subconscious cues; if anything, it felt as if he were following the prearranged steps of an existing dance number. But he moved his hands and feet in time to the music and he wasn't hearing any complaints.

And Misato wasn't giving any. She stared, eyes wide, as the Children performed a perfect routine. Their dancing styles could not be more different. Rei moved like a ballet dancer, all graceful spins and flowing dips. Asuka's movements were sharp and angular, and Misato couldn't shake the impression that Asuka was trying to punch the mat into submission. Shinji mostly flailed.

But each time they touched down, they did so with perfect timing.

Misato picked up her clipboard. She was supposed to be taking notes. Indeed, the lined paper was calling out to be filled in. It would probably be a good idea to note that Shinji was glancing to the side less and less, or that Rei just closed her eyes, yet continued to keep up with the others perfectly.

Instead Misato drew three doodles. A stylized eye, a stick figure hand, and a teardrop shape.

***​

The one thing worse than unisex clothes was unisex swimsuits.

The Children were scheduled for a week's worth of joint training sessions. And just because they somehow managed to display perfect teamwork in spite of having no actual bond as teammates didn't mean they'd be allowed to slack off.

It just meant Misato had no idea what to actually do with them.

Her latest idea involved synchronized swimming, the theory being that if you could do something in the water, doing it on dry land should be a snap.

After that was over with, Misato left them in the pool with orders to stay in and socialize for at least thirty more minutes.

It had been ten minutes so far, and not a single word had been said.

For his part Shinji floated on his back, arms outstretched. When he was little, he would swim in the ocean quite often. Not anymore. These days it didn't matter how clear and blue ocean water was – all it did was remind Shinji how quickly the seas could turn dark orange.

Pool water wasn't like that. It wasn't thick and salty like human blood. The heavy smell of chlorine that always hung in the air was sweet by comparison. It was a product of human industry, and it could exist only as long as humans themselves existed.

It was a dumb metaphor, but it let Shinji relax and enjoy the feeling of being weightless without any bad memories floating up.

Some distance away water splashed in time with Shinji's heartbeat. Asuka had eschewed relaxation in favor of doing laps.

As for Rei, she swam in a slow, lazy circle. It was a circle that just so happened to circumscribe Shinji and exclude Asuka. It wasn't a threat – maybe not even an implied threat. It just meant that if Asuka were to approach Shinji, she would have to break into territory claimed by Rei.

It was stupid.

Everything was stupid and nothing made sense anymore. Prior to Asuka's arrival, Shinji had thought that he'd established a knowledge base to work from. But lately every new certainty was being ripped away from him. Something was happening, and Shinji had no idea what.

Before Asuka came, he would have tried to find out. But the bumbling optimism of those days was gone. Social interaction could absolutely get him killed.

But it was still stupid. And really, what was an unexamined life worth anyway?

"Asuka?"

The splashing stopped. Shinji didn't tear his eyes from the ceiling, but he could still see Asuka right herself in the water, wet hair trailing down her shoulders.

"What do you want, Third?"

"Why do you hate us?"

The silence was absolute. Even Rei's gentle drift stopped. Shinji desperately wanted to look at Asuka, to at least try to find out what she was thinking, but he was scared to.

After almost a minute Asuka finally replied.

"It's not like that."

"It's not?" Talk as little as possible. Force the other person to talk. That was the thing to do when you were terrified.

"If I hated you – really hated you – do you think I would allow you to exist?"

Well, that was something to consider.

"Do you think I would let you live and wield the Evangelions? If I hated you and thought you wanted to harm me?"

"Do you hate the Angels then?" Rei suddenly asked. Shinji almost overbalanced.

"More than anything," the response was immediate and savage.

"So if you don't hate us…why do you act like you do?"

Every time Shinji opened his mouth, he was forcing himself to stop thinking about how long it would take to suffocate if someone were squeezing his throat and holding his head underwater.

"Maybe it's because you pry."

That did it. Shinji shuddered so hard his body lost its ability to float. His feet sank savagely down and he emerged to the surface a second later, blinking and snorting chlorinated water out his nose.

"After everything I told you, you still think you can understand me, or that you could understand me if you just ask a couple questions. You think you're invincible because you got lucky. And anyway, what does it all matter? You don't like me either."

"What? No, I…" Shinji wasn't quite sure how to phrase his protest. Among other things, given her definition of 'hate,' it was not unlikely that their definitions of 'like' differed quite a bit too.

"Nobody likes me. Not unless I'm doing what they want."

Asuka glared at him across the pool and around Rei's head.

"And don't you dare think I just let slip some big important secret that's going to be the key to unraveling my psyche. I'll tell as much to anyone. People hate it when I stand tall on my own. They hate it when I tell them how good I am. They want me to fail – to be humiliated so they can stand up and say that they knew I wasn't that good all along. Do you understand that? They've handed me the most powerful weapon in existence and asked me to save their lives, and then they expect me to act like the two of you!" she pointed her finger in accusation.

Shinji didn't dare take this as something he could use to unravel Asuka's psyche. But he did dare take it as another pleading point.

"We don't want to see you fail!" he said with all the earnestness he could muster.

And…she started calmly swimming towards him. Wonderful.

"I mean, if…" he almost said 'if I thought you could,' but had enough time to realize that wouldn't help at all. "If you can kill all the Angels by yourself, I'll think that's great!"

"Right."

"No…really! I just want the Angels gone, just as much as you do…or at least as much as I can!" Shinji corrected himself, seeing the look on Asuka's face. "I don't care how. If I have to do it, I'll do whatever I can. If you do it, I'll be happy for you. If they all have heart attacks, I'll cheer for that too!"

And suddenly, against all odds, Asuka laughed. It only lasted for two seconds, but the laughter was joyful and pure, with no contempt anywhere in sight.

For those two seconds Shinji let himself feel hopeful. But then Asuka closed her mouth again and it was as if the moment hadn't even happened.

"So what do you want from me, anyway?"

Ah. There was the crux of it, wasn't it? What Shinji really wanted from Asuka was for her to be someone else. But that wasn't just likely to enrage her – it was also just a rude thing to say in any context. Failing that, he wanted her to accept backup, but that would rely on beating her pride, which was probably just make her dislike him even more. Failing that…

"I don't know," he admitted.

"Typical," she sniffed.

And that was the last straw.

"I really don't! But even if you're proud of this job, I hate it! I don't like piloting the Eva. The only good thing about this has been meeting Rei and Misato! And I really hoped that meeting you would help make it worth it too, but all it is is horrible. You never talk to us and when you do you tell us that you don't like us and you think we don't like you – even though we just met you!"

Shinji felt ashamed of losing control of the conversation and of yelling. It wasn't helping his case – even if his Asuka sometimes enjoyed verbal sparring, this one didn't. But he couldn't lie about things anymore.

"I don't know what I want! Except that I don't want to spend every single day looking at someone working with me and being reminded of bad things!"

"Well, I don't want to be friends with someone just because they're there!" countered Asuka. "That's pathetic! I won't force myself to like you just to make you feel better."

They were only about two feet apart now, and standing in the shallow end of the pool. They didn't even have the quiet motion of swimming to distract them from staring into each other's eyes – and missing each other's gaze. They were so close, but they couldn't understand each other. They really couldn't.

"I have a solution."

And once again Shinji almost jumped. Something about talking to Asuka made it easy to forget Rei was in the room until she asserted herself.

"Friendship isn't an all-or-nothing proposition. There are things you can do with friends that you can't do with anyone else. But there are also things you can do with co-workers or casual acquaintances that you can't do with total strangers," Rei went on.

"So all the First wants is to be granted the honor of being a casual acquaintance of mine?" Shinji noticed that Asuka's voice seemed to be missing a lot of its bile.

"For the moment. If you don't want to be friends just because we're here, we could try to prove we would be good friends," Rei continued calmly. Alone of everyone in the room, she was still floating. "If you disagree, we need never get closer. But if you agree, we could."

"Ah, I see," Asuka's eyes gleamed with amusement now. "You think your personalities are so amazing that all I have to do is spend a little time around you two and I'll want to be good friends?"

"If that is what you're comfortable with," Rei answered without missing a beat.

When he realized Asuka was actually thinking it over, Shinji quietly promised himself to buy Rei as much ice cream as she wanted.

"You're going to have to learn the word 'no,'" declared Asuka.

Shinji's heart sank.

"If I ever say 'no,' you two will stop whatever we're doing," Asuka continued. "If we're talking, you will get off-topic. If you've made a suggestion, you will bug off. If you're getting your hopes up, you will bring them right back down. The word 'no' will be our wooden wall of Salamis."

"But…you're not saying 'no' now?" asked Shinji.

"You two…are different than what I imagined," admitted Asuka.

Shinji smiled.

"But not always in good ways," she continued. "I don't think this friendship fantasy of yours will ever pan out. But if a cat can look at a king, I suppose the two of you can be allowed to talk to me."

It was a weird thing to say. And it was a minor victory at best.

But somehow it made Shinji happier than he could remember feeling since stepping foot on the helicopter.

***​

Shinji could never shake the nagging feeling that he should be doing more about Angel attacks. But he couldn't think of anything. The advanced warning systems typically left NERV in plenty of time for everyone to get all dolled up and then some, so if even if Shinji could figure out a way to alert everyone without blowing his cover, it would at most give them a few more extra hours of tense waiting in which nothing whatsoever got accomplished. An Angel was an Angel, and how would someone prepare for one anyway?

Honestly, Shinji hadn't even figured out whether it was better to eat a big breakfast or a light one on the days the Angels came.

It was better like this: with only a few minutes of sitting around before it was time to go into combat.

Anyway, they had three Evangelions now. They had three pilots who could synchronize like there was no tomorrow. They had weapons and support, and if worst came to worst, this was the same Angel that was knocked for a week-long nap by N2 weapons the last time around. Shinji wasn't afraid.

But he still thought this was going to suck.

The friendly darkness faded away, replaced with the harsh daylight and the empty drone of the sirens. Shinji blinked, trying to keep a balance between the dark that let him think and the light that let him see.

During the moments when his eyes were open he could see the others. Rei was standing still, just as could be expected. More surprisingly, so was Asuka. Not that she could manage the same level of stillness – not that he could, either. There was always the occasional small twitch as the Evangelion followed the pilots' unconscious movements – except for those of Rei, who had no unconscious movements. Or if she did, they weren't exactly physical.

Shinji cleared his throat. It was an empty gesture, since it was already full of LCL. As long as he was in his plug, he would always have all the Oxygen he needed to speak.

"W-we should…" he trailed off. He still felt like he should say something, but there really wasn't anything he could say. He couldn't very well reveal the danger that awaited them in the Angel's ability to split. And he couldn't even issue a generic call for teamwork without jeopardizing the fragile peace he'd made with Asuka. He had no particular plan for this battle.

Shinji was just about to contemplate the inherent irony of a time traveler being forced to improvise when the thing they were all waiting for finally happened.

Israfel rose from the sea.

In another age it would have been an event of epic proportions. Israfel would be seen as a modern-day Titan: a being closer to a monster than a god but far, far closer to a god than to a mortal. Poets would sing in horror and scientists would work to calculate the exact amount of water displaced by its ascension.

But in this day and age NERV was far too jaded for that. Israfel's entrance merited a five out of ten at the most. Israfel had nothing to compare with Gaghiel's sheer bulk or Ramiel's geometric perfection. It even lacked Sachiel's fearsome visage. More than anything else the Angel looked like a stylized depiction of a man's silhouette – all smooth curves and minimalistic design.

Shinji took a second to get himself psyched. In that second Asuka ran forward.

Well, that was what technically happened. But calling it running really didn't do the move justice. It was a single, uninterrupted motion characterized by steps so long the Evangelion might as well have been flying. The very ground trembled and cracked in the wake of Asuka's passage. Vending machines and cars became deadly projectiles and whatever glass was reinstalled after Ramiel's attack was promptly shattered again.

"W-wait!" was all the protest Shinji had time for.

In the moment it took him to croak out that word, Asuka was already upon the Angel. Israfel had precisely enough time to raise its arms before she stopped – an action which caused a sonic boom so strong it drove the very ocean away for tens of seconds, baring the wet sand of the ocean bottom – and pulled out her glaive. The same motion used to draw the weapon was used to swing it too. The blade went down Israfel's middle and sliced its core apart in a clean and efficient manner. The Angel was down before it had a chance to even consider defending itself.

Asuka sank to her knees in an apparent gesture of triumph.

"Asuka! Look out!" Shinji cried. She was good – better than the first time – but that wouldn't save her, not if she made the same mistake…

And suddenly Unit 02's arms whipped around like lightning. One second it was still as a statue; the next it was driving two Progressive Knives into two cores.

Israfels Alpha and Beta shuddered and fell over. Shinji blinked in confusion, feeling his lower jaw literally drop against his will. And a jolly, half-broken laughter sounded across his plug.

Another second later Asuka was kicked in the face and went flying.

Instinctively she turned around in mid-air and angled her descent, landing solidly on her feet and then sliding backward. Pavement tore under her feet like dirt and the Umbilical Cable coiled behind her as she raised her head to stare.

A third Israfel was standing tall over the other two. And as Asuka struggled to get her brain to keep up, Alpha and Beta rose back to their feet, ejecting the Progressive Knives.

"Uh…Shinji! Asuka! Move out!" Misato commanded. Her voice wasn't calm, but it was certain.

"No! Stay back! I can still win this!" Asuka protested. "I can still…"

At this moment Alpha turned around and ran away. Its run was far from graceful, being an odd, irregular gait that forced it to use its long arms to help balance itself. But it was moving, and moving fast. And each second put valuable distance between itself, Asuka, and the other two Aspects.

Gamma crossed its arms over its core in a protective gesture. Already its skin was changing, becoming a blotchy, rocky grey-red, the bumps that would form the emerging carapace growing by the moment.

And Beta moved forward without fear. Its own arms were changing too – becoming even longer and more flexible, acquiring talons and spikes. Its movements were like an odd dance – or a mixture of three different dances switched apparently at random.

No one could accuse Shinji Ikari of truly understanding Angels. But he understood just what was happening here. The Israfels were trying to use their advantage to the utmost. One to attack, one to defend, and one to stay back. As long as any one remained alive, the others would be resurrected. And with the distance between them and the way they were moving, it would be very difficult for even three Evangelions moving together to get them all. It would be downright impossible for one.

And he knew that Asuka understood it too. He knew it by a deafening cry that filled his ears. A cry of pain and loss and shame – but changing into a snarl of rage that would be called inhuman except that it was clearly human – all too human, in fact, which somehow made it so much worse than the bestial roars of the Evangelions. It was the scream of a hurt girl who didn't understand why the world decided to be cruel to her. And it was also the scream of a superpowered maniac who wasn't going to take it lying down.

What came next could best be described in terms of sensation.

For the hapless citizens of Tokyo 3 protected by miles and miles of armor plating that separated the Geofront from the world it felt like a sudden humming of their teeth.

For whatever insects and worms decided an Angel battle was nothing to get excited over and remained around the Evangelions it felt like instant death going out in a concentric circle the size of a dozen city blocks.

For the NERV staff watching through the monitors it felt like a flash – not of light but of power. They all turned away or shut their eyes – all except for Gendo Ikari who was watching a suddenly-cracked monitor through suddenly-cracked sunglasses and clutching his own hips.

And for Shinji Ikari it felt as if someone gave his Evangelion steroids. Elation coursed through him and through Unit 01 like a billion needles of liquid light as the restraints and armor protecting the world from Eva cracked and weakened under an onslaught of energy.

As for Asuka, she mostly felt angry. She raised her right arm and the Eva-sized glaive rose into the air and sped back into her hand. She raised her left arm and her hand trembled with effort. A NERV supply building wrenched itself upward without the assistance of its electronics. A Positron Rifle jumped out, Umbilical cable ready and waiting. This latter-day model didn't quite carry the raw power of the one used against Ramiel, but it was plenty powerful enough.

Beta ran forward, trying to rip into Unit 02. With a casual flick of the glaive, Asuka cut off its arms. Then all subtlety and tact was lost as she swung the blade around in a wild pattern, tearing through the Aspect's flesh. Within moments a roughly Israfel-shaped cloud of LCL and flesh chunks existed where Beta should have been.

Asuka burst through it and raised her left arm, firing the rifle one-handed. The positron beam moved forward. In a flash it caught up with Alpha, hit its AT field, bent, went through, and struck the moving target directly into its core. The Aspect fell where it stood.

Asuka strode towards Gamma, which was growing its shell in an increasingly panicked state. Behind her, Beta was already reconstituting. Far along the beach line, Alpha's corpse trembled and came to life, scrambling up and away along the water's edge.

Shinji looked at the Aspects, looked at Asuka who was now looking very much like a goddess of slaughter, and considered which would be more dangerous to him.

Asuka. It was definitely Asuka.

The smart thing to do would be to let this run its course. Going in there now would constituted a direct challenge to Asuka. It would mean invading her sovereign territory – territory that now stretched across the entire battlefield. If he hung back, he could let the Angel demonstrate why teamwork was important and why Asuka couldn't go it alone.

To be honest, even Shinji's own brain refused to believe him when he put the idea forward.

"Rei? We're going in."

"Yes."

A single word. So short – yet so powerful. So calm. So soothing. It was like Rei wasn't affected by any of this at all. He could rely on her determination the same way he could rely on Asuka's strength. It was probably a very nice example of…something.

Shinji lost all ability to process lessons as he charged forward, his cheeks tingling from the invisible energies around him.

***​

The thing about Israfel, Shinji thought, was that it had never been all that tough. It hadn't tried to overwhelm them with raw power or with pure viciousness. It just had a trick up its sleeve – a really good trick that made it really hard to kill. And now it was using a modified version of the same trick that made it even harder.

Except it was the wrong trick. Unless it was hiding more Aspects somewhere, they had enough Evangelions to finish it off. It was trying something that would have worked in Shinji's old life – would have worked gloriously, in fact – but it wasn't going to work here.

Something about that thought bugged Shinji. There were parallels to something, but they might as well have been perpendiculars, because he had no time for any of it. He had to coordinate things. Because they needed teamwork for this.

"Rei. Can you handle the far one?" Shinji tried to sound confident.

"No."

"Okay, great. Now if I…" Shinji trailed off.

The pillar he rested his battle plan on had just shaken.

"…You can't handle it?"

"Not now."

"Okay. Okay. Then if you can fight one of the near ones…"

Alpha jumped back and back, away from Asuka. She hacked away at Gamma, each slice shredding more of its armor.

In the distance, Alpha raised a hand.

"I won't fight this Angel. Not now," Rei sounded calm. Oh how Shinji wished he could be calm too.

"But…"

Alpha fired. A beam of energy shot out of its outstretched left hand, stretching through the air like a horizontal lightning bolt. Shinji opened his mouth to shout a warning, but in the time it took for his teeth to come apart, it was already connecting with Beta's head. It burst like an overripe watermelon, spraying LCL everywhere.

And in the time it took for the first syllable to leave his throat, the beam connected with Asuka's head.

"No!"

It was a poor offering, but that was what Shinji had to say. With his eyes he saw Unit 02 stagger, some modest amount of LCL being expelled from its face at high velocity. With the sight beyond his eyes he suddenly saw Asuka arching her back in the Entry Plug, blood gushing from her left eye to mingle with the LCL.

It was not a very comfortable moment for Shinji.

The sound of Asuka's short, angry breaths prevented total panic. But his heart still felt like a ball of ice that just broke and now shards of something desperately cold and sharp cut their way through his entire body. Each shard was a memory he would really have preferred not seeing again.

The thing was, Shinji had seen the end of the world. He'd seen it from a thousand different perspectives, varied in their horror yet invariably ending in nothing more than a splatter of red. And it all started with Asuka losing a battle because he hadn't been able to protect her or persuade her or himself that she needed protecting. This situation wasn't totally analogous. But it was close enough to hurt.

"Asuka…"

"I'm…fine!"

The Evangelion's head snapped forward. The flow of LCL stemmed itself as a lattice of energy formed over the damaged area.

"Asuka, let us…" Shinji began.

"You shut up! Don't tell me what to do!"

Asuka did something halfway between falling and crouching, letting her Evangelion's palms rest against the ground. The dust around her swirled in a slowly-expanding spiral.

"Asuka, listen to me!"

"Hey, Third," her voice suddenly grew bizarrely calm, almost companionable. "Look what I can do."

A blast of force at least equal to Alpha's attack emerged from her left eye. Without pause, it broke right through Gamma's thickly armored arms and attacked its core directly. Within moments the pulsating red sphere blackened and cracked.

"You know…" she went on, her voice now bereft of all traces of anger. "I don't think I need you after all."

Asuka raised an arm and Beta's broken body rose up. She launched it at Beta, who was approaching with great caution. And even as the aspect regenerated, Asuka advanced slowly. A kind of glittery armor was coalescing over her regular one, silvery-white sparks winging into existence in mid-air and coming together to form into shimmering lines that outlined her body.

"I was afraid that I couldn't beat these things. But now I know better. You see, as long as I never stop trying – as long as I believe in myself with all my heart – there is just no way I can lose. Right?"

Gamma got up and Beta leapt at Asuka. She extended her hand and an octagonal shield threw the Aspect backward.

"Right?" she asked again, just a little bit more uneasily.

And Shinji honestly didn't know how to answer or even what to make of the situation. He had never seen the AT field manipulated like this. He had always thought of it as just a shield, even once he learned it was more complicated than that. But this…Asuka wasn't acting like a fighter. She was making herself into a sorceress. Or possibly even a goddess.

"Wrong."

"Rei?!" Shinji sputtered. "Rei, d-don't!"

Aaand it was too late. Rei was already sliding into position between Alpha and Asuka.

"Thank you for trying, Shinji. But now it's my turn."

"Are you – you're fighting me instead of the Angel? That's just – stupid!" declared Asuka.

"I won't attack you. But your behavior presents a greater danger than the Angels."

"Get out of my way, First."

She raised her left arm stiffly. Patterns made of jagged edges slowly drew together to form a sort of energy ball.

"I warned you before and I'm warning you again. If you stand between me and my target, don't expect me to care!"

Shinji was so mesmerized by the scene, he nearly failed to dodge when Alpha launched another attack. His shoulder tingled as the energy lance passed uncomfortably close. And if that blast was dangerous, then the one Asuka was creating right now was doubly so.

"There are consequences, Asuka."

"Shut up!" Asuka's extended palm twitched.

"You're floating."

"Shut – ah?"

Asuka looked at her feet, which were indeed floating a little way off the ground.

"That doesn't mean anything!" she objected.

Rei began advancing slowly.

"It does mean something. What you're doing is dangerous to yourself and others. It is best that you stop."

"I…" Asuka's hand trembled and slowly lowered, then suddenly rose again. "No. I know what I'm doing. Now get out of my way."

"Asuka…" Rei advanced.

"Whatever. I…I guess it doesn't matter if you die."

Asuka's head bowed slightly as the energy ball in her hand shrank to half of its size and sizzled. Rei raised her own hands, as if preparing to defend herself.

Beta jumped directly over Rei, plunging its long, bladed hand in a downward thrust.

Everything after that happened in a single second. Asuka's hand jumped up in an almost-instinctive gesture. She unleashed the energy attack and tore the Angel apart. And suddenly she found her left arm being grappled by Rei even as Rei's left palm slammed into Asuka's chest, almost directly over Asuka's core.

And then…

AT Field.

The Absolute Terror Field is the barrier of the soul. The AT field of a human separates them from other humans. The AT field of an Eva is a tool – an actuator used to interact with reality.

Eva.

The Evangelion is a creation of man, made in man's image in order to usurp God. By its nature the Eva is a messenger of hope, existing to protect the world. But it holds the potential to become a messenger of fear because it possesses the power to end the world.

The world.

The planet Earth as seen from space. It is night and the world is covered in darkness. Man fears the darkness and drives it away with light.

Light.
The street is well lit. The street lamps are trying to look reassuring; the neon signs are trying to look enticing; the enormous windows of distant skyscrapers are trying to look impressive even as the nearer and smaller windows try to appear unobtrusive. Regardless, they all produce light. By the labor and imagination of the human species electricity is directed through filaments and gases until the night is banished and even the stars and the moon are eclipsed by the creations of man.

This is almost a street in Tokyo 3. But not quite. The mountains aren't quite right, bearing no scars from the recent battle. The walls are entirely clean and there aren't stray papers on the floor. The concert hall and the fine restaurant are perhaps a little larger than life.

The idealized street of an idealized Tokyo 3 is empty. The entire city is empty save for two girls.

The one with blue hair and red eyes sits back in front of an outdoor table of a fine café. Her pose suggests nothing but pure relaxation; a bliss in a personal heaven of sorts. She wears no clothing and large feathery wings protrude from her shoulder blades.

The other one is Evangelion sized, dressed in her plug suit. A bloody bandage is wrapped around her left eye. Surprisingly, she seems calm enough as well, carefully leaning her right hand on top of a multi-story building.

Moments of silence pass as the giant's gaze drifts across the landscape. She's found the pretty angel, but she takes time to acknowledge her.

"I don't actually know what I'm doing," she admits eventually. Admitting it does no injury to her pride. In this place there is no shame and secrets are few and far in between. "Is the Eva's power really that dangerous?"

"It is."

The red-headed girl shifts uneasily on her feet.

"I have to defeat the Angel. And I have to do it on my own."

"Trust in your teammates," suggests the other.

"I can't. All teammates ever do is quit or die."

The words are said without vitriol. Nor are they particularly sad. Even for this conversation which has been dominated by calm and even tones, they are particularly matter-of-fact.

But the world still cracks. Every lightbulb and every window shatters. The walls and ground are next and the broken shards of Tokyo 3 rain down into the void and disappear from sight.

With the world of light gone away the girls now stand in darkness. But somehow they can see each other clearly. They are the same size now, but Asuka's eye is still covered by a bandage, and Rei still has her wings.

"Aren't you lonely?" asks Rei.

"Aren't you lonely?" echoes the void with familiar voices.

Asuka beholds the images of the base personnel arrayed behind the other girl. She raises her hand and they implode and flatten and fly into her hand.

"I'm fine on my own," she proclaims, dealing the cards onto empty air to begin a game of solitaire. "I don't need others to validate my existence."

"But aren't you scared?"

Asuka turns her head and sees Rei hold up a cheap plastic mask on a long wooden stick, like people at old French masquerade balls. It is made in the shape of the bird-like skull of Sachiel.

"Of course I'm scared," she answers without hesitation. The mask looks silly, but it seems to flash with visions of horror. Arael's glorious white wings; Matarael's spindly legs; the hulking shadow of Zeruel's form.

"I'm scared," she continues. "But fighting is less scary than doing nothing."

"I'm scared too," confessed Rei.

"You don't have to be. I'll handle everything."

"I'm scared of you," Rei continues.

"Oh."

"I'm scared for you."

"I don't want you to be."

Asuka turns one of her cards face up. Instead of a card suit it bears a photograph of Rei.

"Do you care how I feel?" even in this place, surprise creeps into Rei's voice.

"I don't want to care. Why should it matter? You're just going to die anyway."

To prove her point Asuka tears the card in two, slides the halves together, then tears them again.

Rei catches the pieces before they can fall into the void. She cradles them in her hands and stares at the rips with no discernible expression.

"So what will you do?" she asks after a while.

When she raises her eyes, Asuka's plugsuit has changed into a red leotard emblazoned with a gold letter A. A red cape hangs from Asuka's shoulders.

"I have to find a better way," the girl explains. "I'm not letting myself be trapped between bad choices."

"Using enough power to defeat the Angel with one Eva is a bad choice."

If this conversation were happening anywhere else, Asuka would argue – possibly just to defend her reputation for infallibility. But there is no point to it now. Nobody will think less of her for making a mistake. And admitting it won't cause people inferior to her to think they can start giving her orders.

"What if it is? I don't want to have you fight with me."

"We exist," Rei explains reasonably. "We have Evas and training."

"I hate this," Asuka crosses her arms.

"I'm sorry."

"Having Evas won't help you all the time, you know."

"You need us this time."

"I really don't want to need you," Asuka continues to pout.

"I'm really sorry," Rei offers.

And slowly, against all odds, a smile slowly forces its way onto Asuka's lips.

"Stop apologizing. You Japanese are all the same. It's not your fault, is it? It's the Angel."

"Yes," Rei nods. "Yes, it is."

"So make it hurt."

"Of course I will," Rei nods. "I will undo its reality and reconstitute it as pure suffering in your name."

"Well! Good!" Asuka declares. "Now how do I get out of here?"

"There is something else."

"What? Just because I'm letting you help out this one time doesn't mean we're going to do each other's nails, you know."

"I would like you to have…this."

Rei passes Asuka a picture. It is a slightly shaky photo of Rei and Asuka standing next to each other, half-bent with laughter. Both are wearing skimpy swimsuits and Rei has her arm draped around Asuka's shoulders. Asuka has extended her fingers into a facsimile of devil horns and is holding them above Rei's head.

"Oh. Thank you."

Asuka takes the picture gingerly and cradles it to her chest. As her imaginary body absorbs it, the imaginary bandage suddenly fades away. Underneath it is a normal eye, completely undamaged.

"Uh…here."

Asuka reaches into her sleeve and passes a different picture back to Rei. Though it is just a mental image, it looks worn and creased.

Rei calmly unfolds it. The picture just shows Asuka and Rei playing cards in one of NERV's backrooms, trying to look as stoic as possible. It is little surprise that Rei is doing a better job of it.

"Thanks."

"Yeah. You too. Now how do I…never mind. I have it."

Asuka turns around and waves her hand. An white door tagged with a bright red EXIT sign appears in the void.

"I'll…see you on the other side, I guess."

And with that Asuka pushes the door outward and lets the light consume her.

***​

Asuka opened her eyes. Both of them.

Then she closed the left one, still sensitive to light and pressure.

"Well…congrats," she intoned. "Due to the dire circumstances, the two of you are invited to participate in this battle. Don't let me down!"

"Help…"

"Yes, yes, Third. You get to help me."

"No…help!"

"Oh now what?" Asuka turned around angrily.

Shinji barely dodged Beta's strike and whipped around with the Progressive Knife. The blade collided with the Aspect's arm and the force pushed the two giants apart.

Gamma wrapped its arms around Shinji's torso, pinning the Evangelion's arms down. It squeezed as hard as it could while also attempting to head butt the back of Shinji's helmet.

Alpha charged forward, bringing its blade arm to bear against Shinji's chest.

And was immediately knocked away.

"Excellent job, Rei. Third, stop screwing around and fight like a man. I'll go get the far one. Let's roll!"

Asuka ran forward with long, even strides. Alpha fired and she dodged, jumped aside, bolted forward, then dodged again. Trusting the other pilots to handle their assigned targets caused her almost physical pain, but it (apparently) beat the alternative.

And with the greater threat to human life temporarily abated, the lesser threat once again became a puzzle to be solved.

The original Israfel consisted of two Aspects moving as flawless mirrors of one another. The way to combat it was to move like mirror images too. It was hard to achieve, but once the training was there, the fight itself was relatively straightforward.

But in addition to being three instead of two, the new Aspects also knocked things up another notch by not being in synch with each other. Alpha moved in an uneven gait, only stopping to fire an odd energy blast. Beta jumped around like a ballet dancer, complete with plenty of splits and somersaults to keep itself active. Gamma moved little and when it did so, it was like a stringless puppet. Any kind of rhythm was conspicuously absent, meaning that it would take more than a fancy dance to bring the Angel down.

That was okay. They didn't need one.

Shinji leaned forward, using the Evangelion's bulk to force the Aspect holding him to bend. Once he managed to get his feet onto the ground, he immediately jumped, knocking his opponent off-balance and slamming on top of it as they both fell. The Aspect's grip relaxed and Shinji quickly scrabbled back up.

Rei clashed with Beta, flew apart, then clashed again. Of the three Aspects, this was the one that remained closest to Israfel's original tactics, though it added some rather annoying acrobatics to the mix. It was fast and agile, perhaps moreso than she herself was. Its arms had more range than her Progressive Knife, and unlike Asuka she wasn't practiced in other weapon types. Rather than go all-out, she hung back and let the Aspect gain ground. Not like it mattered much.

As for Asuka, she faced the challenge of chasing down an Aspect with extremely long legs and a long, long head start. It shot and she dodged, time and again. Each time it stopped and turned around to fire at her, it gained a chance to kill her, but also lost several seconds.

And so it went. Shinji lumbered, Rei jumped, and Asuka ran.

Then, just as Alpha raised its hand once more, Shinji felt his foot bump something.

He ducked and wrapped his hands around the two objects on the ground and tossed one underhand, then grabbed the other drew his hand backward.

Rei caught the Positron Rifle, yanked her power cord out and clicked it into the rifle, dumping most of her power reserve into its battery.

Rather than dodge Alpha's attack, Asuka leaned to one side and deflected the hit with her AT field, altering its course slightly.

Shinji threw the glaive.

It was at this point that the Angel realized its mistake and attempted to handle it. But having abandoned its attempt at coordination, it couldn't easily resume it. So each Aspect responded in its own familiar way. Alpha ran to the side. Beta tried to jump out of the way. Gamma tried to curl into a ball.

Rei fired.

There were now two energy blasts and a projectile traveling through the air. There were also three Aspects to be killed.

Rei grabbed the glaive out of the air. Heading for the place Alpha had been when it was thrown, it was useless. In her hands, it was not. She cut a line through thin air, catching Alpha's attack with the very tip of her blade. It followed the void left by the passage of the AT field enhanced weapon until Rei turned it sideways, then continued on towards where Alpha was now.

Completing the arc, Rei released the glaive.

Asuka ducked the positron beam and ran it down her AT field, along her arm's length and down her pointing finger.

Alpha was hit by the positron beam. It practically exploded, its core only one of the many parts of its body to be blown completely apart.

Beta was hit by Alpha's attack. Its core was cracked by a surgically-precise shot.

Gamma was hit by the flying glaive. The thick armor of its extended arms easily blocked the blow.

On the other hand, its back armor completely failed to block Shinji plunging his Progressive Knife straight into its back and kicking it all the way through to the Core.

And as the Angel dissolved into three puddles of LCL the three Children looked up at each other, panting and wondering.

 

[SeptimusMagisto]

Timelines

What would you do, if you had a second chance? If you could just go back in time and change your life?

On one level the answer is obvious. You'd try to change things for the better. Avoid taking risks that turned out not to pay off. Hang out with the people who turned out to be nice and stop hanging around the ones who were jerks. Eat your vegetables like you always knew you should have been doing all along, but never quite got around to because the long-term consequences were always so far away and the delicate palette of your tongue so close and so precious. If you had a bit of warning and a little foresight, maybe win the lottery.

But that answer is superficial and assumes that the you going back in time is a relatively well-adjusted individual traveling between two periods of relative normalcy. It misses entirely the sheer soul-crushing despair of a life so far beyond repair that the person living it is happy to discard years of living and making decisions, gladly throwing the good away with the bed. It misses the emotional toll of seeing people you knew change back into their younger, dumber selves - or into unrecognizable semi-strangers who are the people you knew, yet at the same time not really them.

There are people who would be capable of living past that kind of ordeal. The chance to fix their mistakes and make life better for those around them would provide enough optimism to counteract their negative experiences. They would go back to living their life as they always had, except with a little extra information.

Such people are not welcome at NERV.

The deep underground complex is a nest of scavengers and predators, making their lair together only to defend against an outside force too massive to rip apart and too alien to betray. The grim mood is uniform across the infinite lattice of worlds; even the infrequent NERVs staffed with caring, competent, and generally good people often find themselves flooded with darkness through no particular fault of their own. Perhaps they are flooded with bad vibes from their less lucky neighbors; or perhaps all NERVs everywhere are heirs to an original sin that stretches out to every world like a rot that starts in the seed.

The point is, NERV is not staffed with well-adjusted people. And time passed in timelines that, on the whole, tend to be less than pleasant rarely does much to make them better. In such circumstances, it seems almost inevitable that those with the chance to mulligan their fate would develop coping mechanisms of one sort of another.

Some more successful than others.

***​

After giving it a lot of thought, Gendo Ikari decided Keel was right about the hand thing. Crazy, but right.

It was a matter of conditioning. If you could train a dog to salivate whenever you heard a bell, there was no reason Gendo couldn't accidentally train his own brain to start plotting whenever he put his hands in a certain position. It was like each time his fingers touched represented a point on a line running through the past and future from Gendo Ikari in one moment to the Gendo Ikari in the next; it was like each time his hands steepled themselves the world became totally clear.

Reality looked very different when his hands touched. People turned into a sum of impulses and emotions, like an object transferred to graph paper as a series of vectors. Even time itself became malleable; the future was something tangible, something he could grasp merely by taking the right actions at the right time. It was intoxicating.

And as with any other form of intoxication, the revelry eventually passed, leaving behind nothing but a huge headache and an equally huge mess to clean up.

So Gendo resolved not to do that anymore. He'd started pricking the very tips of his fingers with a ballpoint pen. It didn't hurt, but it made them sensitive, so he could check his thoughts and catch himself if he started planning the same old plans.

Which is not, of course, to say that Gendo was going to stop making plans and just start dealing with other human beings on their own level. In his position that sort of thinking was tantamount to suicide. And worse, it wouldn't accomplish his ultimate goal. No, it only meant that he had to make new plans.

The first thing he did was get a new chessboard.

He already had one, of course - a beautiful antique with aged wood and well-worn ivory pieces. Whenever people saw him in front of that board they immediately assumed that he was very intelligent and manipulative, and that he would treat them as pawns in some giant game. Strangely enough that tended to relax people. They assumed they knew what to expect and while they were feeling proud of themselves for deriving a metaphor for life out of something that was explicitly designed to be a metaphor for life, Gendo could get back to what he was actually doing.

Gendo had nothing but contempt for people who thought they could leverage the ability to play chess into becoming a master strategist or a politician. Even so, there was a certain allure to the game. The way the pieces obeyed commands flawlessly and without resistance, the way you could think ahead and at least in the short term visualize every possible outcome of every possible action - for someone like Gendo it was a dream come true. Especially if he told himself that if this were the real world, he could always make a pawn act like a knight by threatening to shoot the queen.

In order to discourage that mindset in Gendo, his new chessboard magnetized the pieces at random intervals. This meant that any strategy that relied on a particular piece being movable at a particular time suddenly became a gamble, and that trying to think more than one turn ahead became statistically improbable. It was frustrating as all Hell, and thus exactly what Gendo needed.

The chess pieces were just the beginning, of course. The dominoes would sometimes snap in two rather than allow the next domino to be knocked over. The cards changed suits at inconvenient times. And none of that could hold a candle to what the crosswords got up to.

Naturally, he didn't manufacture the games and pieces all by himself. There were work orders. Funded with his own savings, they weren't indicated on any budget spreadsheet, but Gendo was sure SEELE would find them anyway. It didn't matter. If the old men wanted to comprehend his motives, they would have to be able to absorb the same lesson he was. If they could not, then knowing what Gendo was doing wouldn't help them in the slightest. If they could...

Well, Gendo wouldn't be surprised to see the rest of them end up like Keel.

Playing these games was a fun diversion. Imagining the looks on SEELE's faces if and as they watched him play was an even better one. But they were really only a tool to reshape the tool that was his mind into a new shape - one more suited to the task Gendo now found himself saddled with. Once that tool was properly primed, it was time to put away the toys.

It was time to retreat, going away into the one place safe from SEELE's eyes. Gendo quietly placed one hand on the table as the other picked up and twirled a pen. He let his eyes drift closed behind their impenetrable shades. And then he descended into a small, cramped room he'd carved out in the center of his mind.

It was a place where he could face the images of others he held in his mind one on one. If chess - even his modified chess - encouraged him to think of himself as a giant towering over all the 'ordinary' people in his life and playing against a single opponent, then this exercise reminded him that in reality he was only about as big as anyone else, and that outside of his own mind it was those others who were real and it was him who was the image.

And this too was a Hell of sorts.

***​

Descent.

A quiet dark room without the space needed for grand battlefields and complex societies. The only thing that could exist here comfortably was people. There were two folding chairs - one for Gendo and one for another person, complete and alive with all of their idiosyncrasies and ambitions - at least as far as Gendo could perceive them.

Shinji. The child of his passion.

Rei. The child of his ingenuity.

One or the other was sitting in front of him. The room Gendo created inside his own mind never had the best lighting. Right now just enough shade fell over the figure to hide everything but the outline of the Child. Their features were similar enough to conceal the Child's identity. Perhaps it was his brain's way of telling itself that the two were too inextricably linked to be analyzed separately.

If ever her needed proof that the real world was too complicated for chess analogies, that link was it. In his perfect Scenario, unsullied by the harsh realities of Tokyo 3, Rei was the key to all his plans. In his perfect Scenario, she piloted an Eva and, together with other Children, destroyed the threat of the Angels and then obeyed more than a decade of conditioning and served as a tool of his will, opening the way to Yui.

In his perfect scenario, Shinji failed to make an appearance.

Naturally, that did not work out. And even if Gendo had been able to come back to some other day than the day of Shinji's arrival, it probably wouldn't. Evangelions just didn't seem to like him or Rei. Unit 01 didn't accept her as Yui's child and even if Unit 00 shaped up eventually, it would never protect her the way Unit 01 protected Shinji. A Scenario in which he and Shinji didn't have to meet after all those years of blissful separation was too much to hope for.

And yet when he watched Shinji and Rei sit and laugh together, he could see the same disaster that brought him to this world replaying: rather than stay isolated and motivated solely by his desire for recognition, Shinji built up bonds that hurt so much when they were severed that rather than unleash the beast within the Evangelion, Shinji cowered in fear; rather than remain pure, Rei changed in what seemed like a flash, as a few kind words and a glimpse of true misery only human beings are capable of suddenly gave her a will of her own. It was like that all over again, except worse. This Rei was quiet, yet at the same time so much more alive and independent than he could ever remember seeing her. This Shinji went out of his way to reach out to people. It was worse than ever.

And worst of all, he couldn't even rely on that analysis. The last time around he'd been certain that Rei would do as he said at the end. Instead he'd arrived to find the Terminal Dogma empty and Rei out and about, turning the power of the Progenitor against all those who sought to harm Shinji. Now he was sure that if Adam hadn't somehow granted his desperate wish for a chance to set things in order, he would have been included in that category.

So if he proceeded on the assumption that Rei would always do what she considered to be in Shinji's interests, he might well prove just as disastrously wrong. If nothing else, there was always the possibility that this new, more independent, Rei would simply seize power in her own name and shower Shinji with gifts.

He had thought that he'd understood Rei once, and that had cost him everything. He would not make that mistake again. Even if it was hard to see Rei as anything but his carefully-crafted tool; even if it was equally hard to see Shinji as anything but the pink wriggly thing that tried to steal his wife's love; Gendo still sincerely tried to see them as they saw themselves instead. If he could truly understand them, perhaps he could see what would make them see things his way. Find some argument, some threat or promise, that would get Rei to initiate the Third Impact his way.

It was possible. But it was difficult - and probably more difficult in this timeline than in the other.

Pretty much everything was more difficult now.

As if in response to that thought, the outline before him shifted. The new shape was mostly distinguishable by hair so red it even showed up in semi-darkness. Though the rest of her features were technically concealed, they weren't difficult to imagine.

As far as Gendo was concerned, Asuka Langley-Sohryu had always been 'the other one.' The pilot without particular significance to his plots beyond being a weapon to slay Angels. Fortunately, her personality had seemed to fit nicely into that paradigm. She was eager to fight, didn't make trouble, hung in there even when she was useless, and didn't form unnecessary connections to anyone. A model Evangelion pilot, just broken enough to do her job. Possibly the only one of the three who wouldn't have been coming for him after the events of that final day.

Or possibly not. Those spears had not looked pleasant.

Naturally, that useful weapon of a girl was lost to him in that world. The other Asuka was a replacement in the same sense that nitroglycerin was a replacement for C4. She was clearly unstable to the point of being a danger to herself and others, her fighting style was erratic, and she didn't play nice with the other pilots. At the same time, she was far, far too competent to simply get rid of. NERV had a policy of tolerating mental issues in its employees and Gendo wouldn't own a gun if he didn't expect to shoot a subordinate every once in a while.

It was a frustrating situation nonetheless.

Or at least it had been until that last battle. He'd known that a sufficiently controlled AT field could be used as a tool or a weapon - never mind where a supposed rookie would get that kind of control. But what he'd seen Asuka do was beyond that. She'd taken the Evangelion to a state that rendered the savage brutality of the Berserker useless through a combination of power with a strange kind of grace. And moreover, this state proved that perhaps the Evangelion was good for more than just stomping on Angels. Not that Gendo hadn't already suspected that the Evangelions contained the evolutionary potential necessary to go beyond their role as weapons. But there was a difference between knowing something could be done and actually knowing how to do it. By unlocking the Awakened Evangelion Asuka had stepped over that line.

In a lot of ways, that made her more dangerous than ever. Trusting Asuka with something on the level of Angels was one thing. Trusting her with something that had the potential to equal or surpass the Progenitors was something else. Through her amazing feat, the girl had changed her status in his eyes. She had become the Sword of Damocles, and Gendo meant to use her to cut the Gordian Knot he had found himself faced with.

In Gendo's eyes, Asuka Langley Sohryu had become one of the most important people in the world.

***​

Asuka had never felt so ignored.

It was unsettling. She expected the universe to have a kind of logical order, complete with cause and effect. She had provided the cause. Boy, had she ever. Even though she didn't really care if anyone discovered her secret, Asuka usually tried to be just a little discreet. But when the Angel split into three pieces like that...it had felt as though the universe was going out of its way to teach her a lesson. Asuka had not appreciated that. Combined with her existing hatred of Angels, her rage had unleashed a series of events that couldn't fail to be noticed.

And days later, she had yet to see any consequences. It stretched the limits of her belief. She wasn't exactly sure what she'd been expecting, but there should have been something. A commendation for destroying the Angel and generally being amazing; a chewing-out for endangering the fabric of reality; an investigation into the odd happenings; something - anything!

The deliberate silence grated on her. And it had to be deliberate. Whether through formal orders or informal consensus, a sort of cone of silence had fallen over the base. Everyone was pretending that neither she nor Rei had done anything special at all. And while she enjoyed the lack of scrutiny, she just couldn't trust it. All it meant was that someone was asking questions out of her earshot, where she couldn't direct the conversation.

Besides, even if she honestly believed that everyone was suddenly and inexplicably struck with the desire to ignore that battle, that didn't mean she would return the favor. After all, she hadn't been the only one to do weird things that day.

Rei was the other white elephant in the room. Maybe the others couldn't see the full extent of what she'd done, but Asuka certainly could. All she had to do was close her eyes and...

There is a sweetness in her mouth and a pleasant feeling of fullness in her stomach. The watermelon juice runs out of the corner of her mouth and drips down on her relatively conservative swimsuit. There is more juice in her stomach; it is cool and that coolness spreads out, counteracting the warmth of the summer day everywhere but on her skin, which remains hot, and the soles of her feet, which absorb the heat of the sand between her toes.

Her hand is draped around Asuka and they're both laughing. Asuka's skin is hot too, and more of it is exposed to the sun. Perhaps she thinks that wearing a bikini will get her noticed by Shinji. Or perhaps she just wants to tan, because Asuka's skin will be darkened by the end of the day unlike Rei's own, which will remain pristinely white no matter how much the sun shines down on her.

It doesn't matter. No matter what Asuka does next, this has every indication of being a perfect day in the making.

...And what the Hell was that all about?

First things first: that was not her memory. It felt weird to remember herself from the third person, as a separate and ultimately unknowable entity. It felt weird to remember being someone else. It felt weirder that that someone else was Rei and she was laughing and enjoying herself in Asuka's company.

And when, precisely, did Rei have the opportunity to visit the beach with Asuka?

It just wasn't possible. No matter how different this world was, nobody here acted as though Shinji, Rei and Asuka ever met each other before. If they expected her to be the sort of friend who spent time with them like that, she would have picked up on it. And that could only mean...

Well, she'd have to talk to Rei about it. And that thought terrified her.

It wasn't just because Rei could put memories into her head. Rei had always been weird, and nobody really knew what exactly she was capable of. If she'd attempted to break Asuka's mind or lay a geas on her, Asuka would at least know how to go about countering it - and how to feel about it, and about Rei. As it was, Asuka felt herself paralyzed with fear that had nothing to do with death or injury.

Rei wasn't going to try to hurt her. Not physically. But by doing what she did, she was awakening flaws in Asuka's thinking that had taken long enough to expunge the first time. Asuka was too intelligent to think that attachment to people was in and of itself a weakness. But getting attached to a little martyr like Rei would definitely be bad for Asuka's psyche. The plan where they became casual acquaintances with the other girl safely held at bay by Asuka's walls was almost safe. The plan where Rei shoved pleasant memories into her brain was not.

Asuka glanced at the phone, then the door. It would be really easy to go contact Rei right now. It would be the most productive course of action. The First Child didn't keep secrets all that well - except when playing poker, damn it.

Instead Asuka quietly clutched her knees. And she hated it. What was the point of separating herself from the rest of humanity if it didn't fully burn away all the petty little social anxieties?

She'd have to confront Rei sooner or later. But it could be later. The other Child was a safer topic. He didn't confuse her in quite the same way.

He confused her in another way. He just didn't add up.

Like everyone in this new world, this Shinji was different from the Shinji she remembered. He was active. He seemed eager to engage others. When she tried to push him down he didn't withdraw or try to snap at her - he just pushed and needled until he found some arrangement that she couldn't bring herself to be annoyed by. But at the same time he wasn't actually good at it. You would expect someone with that kind of enthusiasm to develop adequate social skills. A combination like that suggested someone who had only recently changed his attitude on social matters. As if some big event in this Shinji's life was pushing him out of his zone of comfort.

By itself it was only a small thing - but the problem was that it wasn't by itself. He was insistent on making friends with someone who clearly didn't want to make friends with him. He was actually halfway-competent at fighting. And in general he just felt wrong.

And also? He knew about Israphael. He'd been shouting warnings at Asuka even when it should have looked like the Angel was dead and gone.

Strictly speaking, there were possible explanations for all those anomalies. Perhaps the Shinji of this world was a formerly withdrawn boy who was taking the transfer to NERV as an opportunity to make friends for the first time in his life. Maybe he had natural talent and luck, as she'd initially assumed. And maybe he just made a lucky guess with the Angel.

But Asuka had an alternative theory. And she was willing to go to great lengths to test it. She'd even allowed herself to be signed up for Japanese school. Never mind that she had a University degree and was fluent in kanji. She was willing to go through with it as long as she managed to learn at least one thing:

Who was Shinji Ikari and how was he here?

***​

I feel sick.

The world was spinning around Shinji.

A certain part of his brain stayed busy moving his feet and ensuring he wouldn't walk into traffic. The rest was occupied by trying to hold his crumbling world together.

Who are the people I care about?

In his mind's eye they were right in front of him, almost close enough to touch.

Rei.

"Don't say goodbye when you leave on a mission! It's too sad."

"Shinji. I will...see you later."

Yes, but what does it mean?

"You wanted to make a connection? With me?"

"I need to prove a point to someone. And what has more points than a hedgehog?"

"I know how to make Shinji happy. And being part of a family with you would make him very happy."

Rei. What is Rei?

Father

"I called you here because I have a use for you."

"I want you to realize that you aren't just helping me by doing this. Humanity as a whole has a use for you."

Is father different?

"Shinji. Do you fear me?"

"I...fear you too."

Why did he say that?

"There is a chance that the Angel may react to your weapon charging up. We've set up a dummy on the opposite side of the city."

What does Father know?
Misato
"I'll take care of Shinji. I've already got permission from the brass."

"You have your own quarters right here at the base!"

Did I cause that?

"To me you are...a great person."

"So...you think you can dance?"

"Kaji!"

Is Misato really the same Misato?

Asuka

Just...Asuka.
He'd seen it before. he'd felt it in his gut. But there were always Angels to fight or conversations to have. There was the excitement of meeting Asuka and the harried effort of dealing with her once she'd arrived.

But he couldn't put it off any longer, because putting things off was dangerous. He had to ask himself the hard questions.

Why was this world the way it was? Why was Rei so much happier and why did Asuka hurt so much? Why were the Angels so different here? And if none of it was his fault - if this world was just the way it was - then had he really changed anything? Was he averting the end of the world, or was it still going to come as surely as if he'd never left his original road?

Could it be...

"Shinji! Look out, it's Leliel!"

Shinji's reaction was instant and inevitable. He leapt into the air, desperately seeking to avoid the terrible shadow that was the Angel. At the same time, his head instinctively tried to turn to look at the person shouting at him. By the time his conscious brain caught up and reminded him that he would probably have seen an Angel coming and that trying to turn and jump at the same time, it was too late. All he could do was try to minimize the embarrassment factor of falling on his butt.

Shinji tried to figure out the best way to get up and rub the back of his head at the same time, but his quest for dignity was interrupted. A mane of red hair appeared in his line of sight, the features of the face staring down at him outlined by the sun.

"A-Asuka."

"You're coming with me, Third," she declared.

Shinji tried to gulp and was interrupted by the sudden yanking on his collar.

It looked like he was about to get some answers.

***​

Kensuke was quickly finding out that being the voice of reason sucked.

"Toji...we can't keep doing this," he complained.

After having his complaint ignored for a full minute, he switched to another track.

"We could go back and act like pilots again. I heard from a very reliable source that NERV has extra funding, so they've stepped up the Evangelion construction. This could be our chance!"

Still no response.

"Seriously, Toji, it's getting creepy. We can't just keep following a girl that! What do you think she'd think about it?"

That finally got through to the other boy. Toji turned around, his face halfway between angry and pleading.

"I'm worried about Hikari, all right? Skipping school like this isn't like her."

Kensuke didn't even have to say anything to that. Toji stood defiantly for several seconds, then slumped when self-awareness kicked in.

"Okay, I know I can't really say that anymore, but still, it's weird and I'm worried about Hikari even if...look, I promised to protect her forever, all right?"

They didn't have a debate about the exact definition of 'her.' Not then. The topic of alternate timelines and alternate selves had been discussed far too often already, and if the two of them could agree to be friends, then neither of them could really dismiss the people of this world.

Kensuke went for a different chink in the armor instead.

"Did you mean protecting her from herself when you said it?"

"I...look, just this once, okay? We'll find out where she goes - this time for sure! And if she's safe...then that's fine. If she's not, then we'll see. Okay?"

"Just this once?" questioned Kensuke.

"Yes. We'll follow Hikari just this once, see where she goes, then quit."

"Okay. Fine. You lead the way then."

***​

"Told you we'd find it this time!"

Kensuke was honestly shocked.

This unlikely success followed something like five or six previous attempts at following Hikari, each one only slightly less futile than the last. For someone wearing a skirt Hikari walked with almost alarming speed, and for two people who were supposed to be undercover Toji and Kensuke weren't all that good at stealth, which meant they had to stay well back. The trail tended to go cold sooner rather than later.

Not this time, though. They nearly lost her Hikari twice, but a couple of lucky guesses on Toji's part let them follow her all the way to an abandoned warehouse in the part of town that wouldn't sink underground and was therefore considered totally uninhabitable.

"Okay. So what is 'it'?"

Toji was momentarily taken aback, but soon recovered.

"You tell me. You're the one who's supposed to know these things."

He had a point.

"Okay. Well, I don't think Hikari's here for a school assignment, so she's hiding something. And this looks like as good a place as any to do it."

"Hiding what?"

Kensuke performed a long, elaborate shrug. He watched Toji clumsily tiptoe to the wall of the warehouse, apparently looking for a hole in the wall. Though the place looked run-down, it was apparently not quite that bad. Giving up, Toji moved over to a dented trash can and lifted the lid.

Immediately, he paled and motioned Kensuke over. Agreeable to a fault, Kensuke obediently moved to look inside the bin. He too paled when he saw it was full of used syringes.

"Does this place have a back door?" he whispered.

"This is the back door."

"We're going around the front, then."

As it turned out, the front door was nailed shut. Toji failed to care and five good yanks and two splinters later that was no longer the case anyway. The larger boy gently opened the door and walked inside briskly. Kensuke followed only a step behind.

And stopped, transfixed by the contents of the room.

From the trash can he'd surmised that this would be one of those places. In fact, it was apparently the other place where they used syringes. In fact, there was a whole crate whose label indicated it contained yet more syringes. It was right next to the one promising latex gloves in size small.

Evidently, this place was a secret lab.

There were certain expectations Kensuke had of secret labs. Just by looking clean and cared-for this place defied about half of them. The rest were shattered by the nearly total absence of weird stuff. Most of the lab was almost comically mundane. Rather than mysteriously bubbling chemicals, the lab contained a row of squirt bottles with various concentrations of ethanol in them. The rack and the Van de Graff generator so prominent in Kensuke's imagination were replaced by a couple of centrifuges, a water filter, and two machines of uncertain purpose that were way too blocky and blank to be sinister in any way. From the electron microscope in the corner to the stack of notebooks with sticky notes between their pages, most of the lab just didn't look that exciting.

The thing in the tube was a definite exception to that rule. The liquid it floated in looked something like LCL, if LCL came in green and was filled with little flakes of something slowly swirling in a kind of lazy whirlpool around the container. Suspended in that liquid was something that looked like a half-formed fetus the size of a grown man. While it shared the morphological features of other unborn creatures, as it logically had to, some features were already distinguishable. Six limbs were clearly visible, curled around a body that went from an oversized head with a canine snout to a tail that was already long and coiled into a half-circle. The thing (creature?) bobbed up and down in the suspending potion, supremely unconcerned about the world outside its bottle.

"Kensuke? What is that thing?" Toji whispered.

"His name is Puppiel the Second."

The boys turned around to see Hikari brandishing a water gun at them. The semi-transparent chamber meant to hold ammunition allowed them to see just well enough to know the stuff inside was not water.

"And this is all the stuff Puppiel's body rejected. Now put your hands somewhere I can see them. and step inside."

The boys paled and raised their hands as requested, backing further into the room and away from the open door. Hikari stared at them, her face getting harder by the second. But suddenly that process was interrupted by a glimmer of recognition.

"Hey, I know you!" she pointed her finger towards Toji.

"Oh, yeah?" he brightened up.

"You're the boy who stalks me in school!"

Toji's disappointment was so great he very nearly physically fell over.

"This is just too much, you know that? You should not have come here!" Hikari pressed her lips together and glanced at the ground before looking back up sharply. "And keep those hands up!"

Toji twitched and resumed the position.

"What am I going to do with you two?" she demanded petulantly. "I mean, I guess I should probably start by having you tie yourselves up, but..."

"Or...you could just let us go!" Kensuke suggested, sounding more optimistic than he felt. "We'd promise not to tell anyone!"

Against all odds, Hikari seemed to actually consider the idea.

"No..." she finally drawled. "No, I don't think so."

"No, listen, you can totally trust us!" Kensuke tried to use his hands to highlight his conversational excitement, only to raise them back up at a twitch of the water gun.

"I don't know that," countered Hikari, frowning. "You haven't done anything to make me trust you. All you've done is follow me around and stick your nose where it doesn't belong! Why'd you have to do that anyway?" Hikari stomped her foot.

"I'm sorry," mumbled Toji.

"Oh, you're just sorry you got caught."

"No...I'm really sorry. We shouldn't have followed you like that," Toji objected. "We...no, I thought you might need help. But I shouldn't have done taken this on myself. And I definitely shouldn't have dragged Kensuke here with me."

"Well...I appreciate that. But this cannot be a new insight for you. You had to have known it was wrong when you started. So why did you do it?"

"I was worried about you, okay? You...remind me of someone I know. Someone I swore to protect."

"Ah?"

The boys glanced up to see Hikari pale.

"The person I remind you of...is her name Hikari Horaki?"

"I...but...what?" Toji blinked. Then, with a sudden realization, he lowered his hand to point his finger at the girl. "You're a time traveler!"

"So are you!" She copied his gesture. "And you! I assume!" she pointed at Kensuke.

"How did you know?" Toji demanded.

"It's the phrasing, really," Hikari shrugged. "If I were talking to someone, that is the exact sort of thing I'd say. It's like the world is suddenly so different that you just want to hold on to anything you find familiar, yes?"

"Uh...yeah," Toji acknowledged. "That's it."

"Does this mean you'll let us go?" Kensuke stayed on message.

"Huh? Oh yeah, sure. If you're feeling nostalgic, you're probably no threat to me."

The boys relaxed their backs and rubbed their shoulders as Hikari put her weapon on the table.

"If it makes you feel any better, this stuff couldn't hurt you anyway."

"It couldn't?" Kensuke blinked.

"Well, no. It's just biological waste, isn't it? The DNA doesn't magically bind or anything. You need a special virus to handle the transmission. And even then I don't think it would do much to an adult organism," Hikari paused for a second. "Might give you a little skin cancer, I guess."

Hikari stopped there, suddenly reminded that for most people cancer was a big problem. For her, of course, it was just a normal workplace hazard. If anything went wrong, disruption of the delicate mechanisms responsible for controlling and regulating cell growth would be the first thing to get hit.

"So if we'd called your bluff..." Kensuke mused out loud.

"Plan B involves an aluminum bat."

"Ah."

Several seconds of awkward silence passed.

"Anyway, make yourselves at home. I think there are juice boxes around here somewhere," Hikari waved her hand vaguely. "I guess we have a lot to talk about."

***​

Shinji felt numb.

Like a light bulb burning out from too much strain on the delicate metal coil, his brain had shut down its own emotional center rather than deal with the full implications of his current situation. The fact that Asuka knew about future Angels and now knew that he knew too and almost certainly had some very strong feelings about his knowledge would otherwise have rendered him fully catatonic.

For her part Asuka circled him like a hungry shark. Shinji forced himself to face forward, letting her drift in and out of his vision.

"Okay, Third," came her words, calm and unflinching. "I have a theory. You're going to help me tell if it's true or not. I just need you to confirm a few facts. Is that okay?"

Shinji nodded stiffly.

"Don't be scared, Third," Asuka seemed to pick up on his mood. "I just want to talk to you. I'm not going to hurt you. Not unless you lie to me. You're not going to lie to me, are you?"

"N-no."

"Well then don't be afraid. Really."

Asuka tried for a reassuring smile. Surprisingly enough she even managed okay. Sometime long ago she'd kept a chipper and reassuring persona around to fool others into thinking everything was okay. She wasn't that person anymore, but she still remembered what to do with her mouth.

"Tell me about how you came here, Shinji. Start with your arrival into Tokyo 3. Just...ignore everything before that, okay. It doesn't matter right now. Only the things from that moment on. I want to hear you tell it."

Briefly, Shinji considered resistance. But Asuka had him right where she wanted him. More than two blocks from the school, there would be no NERV observation. He had no reasonable way to refuse.

"It all started with a phone call," he began. "I tried to call NERV, but couldn't get through. But then M-miss Misato picked me up. There was an N2 mine. And then - then we were at NERV, and my father told me to pilot Unit 01."

"What did he say, exactly?"

"Does it matter?"

"It does if I say it does," a hint of annoyance broke through Asuka's unusually strong composure.

"He told me that the world needed me. That if I didn't fight then the world would be destroyed. He showed me...Rei. She was bandaged and couldn't fight. I had no choice but to fight!"

"Sounds about right."

"But then the Angel exploded!" even now, months later, Shinji still couldn't believe it. "It just wrapped its arms around me and just blew up. I was in the hospital for a long time. And then after I got out I met Rei again."

"Again?"

"After that time - at the bridge."

"Okay. Tell me about Rei. Don't skimp on the details."

Shinji immediately decided to skimp on one of the details. Asuka had no need to know about Rei's state of undress. If she wanted that information, she'd have to pry it from his lips.

"I came to see her...because she's one of my fellow pilots. And I know it's not important to you, but it's important to me...and it turned out to be important to her too!" Shinji pressed on, more confident. "I asked her why she piloted the Eva, and she told me it was to protect the world. And then when I told her I came there to make friends with her...she hugged me!"

"She hugged you. Of her own accord, even?" Asuka asked.

"Yes."

"Did she reach out to you like that again?"

"Yeah," Shinji blushed. "She's a very dedicated friend. She likes to take me to see things...like orchestras or theater. We eat together often."

"Okay, that's far enough. How is she in combat?"

"Good! She held off Ramiel for a really long time, and she beat Jet Alone all by herself!"

"She was in the Shamshel battle too, right?"

"Yes. She was excellent there too."

"But a month before that she was in bandages."

"Yes. She said she heals fast."

"So she does. And in combat she makes up her weak AT field with excellent physical performance. And she takes initiative in socializing. And she's happy. Really, genuinely happy. That's about right, isn't it?"

"Leave Rei alone!" Shinji suddenly jumped.

"Shinji. Look into my eyes. Does it look like I want to hurt Rei?"

"Maybe? How would I know?!"

"Well, I don't."

"Well, good."

"Good."

Shinji and Asuka stared at each other.

"You're really not going to try and hurt her?" Shinji asked again.

"No. I think I'm going to help her. Her, you, and myself too. But first I need you to help me."

"How?"

"Was there anything else weird about her? Anything you noticed?"

"...Yes."

"Well, then. I guess having the rest of this conversation would be pointless without her here."

Asuka abruptly disengaged, all the tension between the two of them disappearing into thin air as she walked away.

"Asuka?"

"Wait right here. I'll go and get her. And then we can all talk about what came before the telephone call."

***​

Toji thoughtfully sipped the apple juice. The day's developments had been unexpected, yet not exactly surprising. Ever since he'd met Kensuke, he'd known that it was indeed possible for people from other timelines to come back. But aside from a few relatively minor differences, Kensuke's timeline was almost the same as Toji's. But Hikari...what on Earth could have happened in her timeline to change her so much?

"So it's you two and me, right?" Hikari drummed her fingers on her knee. "Anyone else you know of?"

"No," Toji shook his head.

"Shinji." Kensuke immediately contradicted him. "Rei. Asuka."

"Hey! Hold on a second, Ken, we can't know that!"

"Shinji, huh? Well, he's not my Shinji, but no-one here is from my world. And Asuka and Rei too...they're all involved in the pilot program right now, aren't they?" Hikari asked.

"Yeah. Kensuke and I are supposed to enter it later...I think."

"This school...this class...all the children here...they could become Children, couldn't they? Everyone who's here is here because they're a candidate to be a pilot, right?" Hikari pressed on.

"You don't think..." Toji paused.

"It has to be. How else could anyone even go back? Only Angels and Evangelions have that kind of power."

"You were in the Evangelion program too, right?" Kensuke asked. "Were you the Sixth Child?"

"First, actually."

The two boys stared at her, dumbfounded. Hikari herself looked resigned.

"I don't really know what happened, you know? My world was very different from this one. Out of the four Children I've only seen Shinji and myself. I've been stuck outside of NERV so I can't even tell what's going on, I still don't have a proper work area, I have knowledge of the future that has nothing to do with what's going to happen here, and on top of everything else I'm stuck as a class representative."

"You weren't one back where you came from?" Toji blinked. Somehow that seemed even more surprising than whatever mad science she apparently got up to.

"Too busy with the Evangelions and the labs. Besides, the world won't stop spinning if students don't get up when a teacher enters the room, you know?" Hikari gestured with her hands.

Toji nodded gravely. On the one hand he agreed with the sentiment. On the other hand, that statement proved definitely that his Hikari was lost to him well beyond any hope of recovery. The person sitting on a workbench in front of him was pretty clearly someone completely different, even if they started off in the same place.

"I'll be relying on you two to help keep our little group afloat. If you know the current Evangelion pilots and you were planning to become pilots after them then this world must be a lot closer to yours than it is to mine, right?"

"Maybe?" Toji tried not to stutter. "But if everyone in our class is really from somewhere else, then it won't stay like ours for very long!"

"Exactly. So we'll need to stay on top of things. Try to figure out who's from where. Anyone at all could be an ally - or an enemy!"

Toji wasn't entirely sure who died and made Hikari the leader, but he had no particular reason to question her.

"I don't know about you two, but I came here for one reason and one reason only: to prevent the Progenitor under NERV from ever waking up. Now in order to do that..."

"I came back to stop SEELE from starting Instrumentality," interrupted Kensuke.

"I wanted to stop Gendo Ikari from doing that," added Toji, enjoying the chance to tell Hikari something she didn't know.

"Okay, revise the goal to preventing the end of the world in general. Revise the means to something significantly more complicated. What matters here is that even though we three are different, we're still united in purpose, aren't we?"

Toji latched onto those words like a sinking man grasping an anchor.

"Hell yes we are!"

Across the room, Kensuke perked up.

"Look," Toji continued on. "This is weird, all right? When I ran into Kensuke, I was expecting Kensuke and I kind of got Kensuke. But with you...obviously I was expecting Hikari the class representative, not Hikari the scientist. And maybe you weren't expecting us at all. But if you want to save the world, then you're all right with me!"

"Saving the world is what we do," Kensuke nodded. "And so our talents shall merge like flames combining to form an inferno."

For a second Hikari looked as though she was trying to stifle a giggle. Evidently successful, she straightened her back and grinned.

"Well, if that's the way you want it then you'd better bring out some marshmallows. If my theory is correct, then this is going to be one Hell of a firestorm.

***​

Rei looked at the sky. To her, it held an endless fascination. On clear days like this one, when even the fluffy white cumulonimbus clouds failed to make an appearance, the soft blue of the sky seemed truly infinite.

In some ways it seemed strange for her to claim this sky. In the timeline she came from, the blue sky and bright sun belonged to her rival. Hers was the daytime, with its din and crowds. Hers was the chaotic excitement.

Rei herself had always claimed the night as her domain. During the night the bright sunbeams were replaced by the more intimate moonlight - on some nights. On others even that private light was absent. On those nights the darkness was absolute - as thick and sound-absorbing as black velvet. During those times anything farther than ten feet away might as well not exist. Which meant that she spent many nights sharing a small, isolated world with Shinji and only Shinji (And occasionally Kaworu, but only if it really couldn't be avoided).

Oh yes, night definitely had its own charms. The beaches, parks, and even playgrounds turned into secluded and intimate spaces. The crowds moved to brightly lit restaurants, to theaters and concert halls, and the world of high culture emerged like an elegant butterfly made of light and music. For these reasons among others, Rei did not often regret choosing the night.

But now it seemed as though both day and night were hers to do with as she pleased. And her rival was no rival at all, opening her path directly to the heart of Shinji who was eager to form connections with others. It was like a wish come true.

A corrupted wish, that would be. This world, which had heretofore been so kind to her, had officially gone too far. Yes, she wanted Shinji. She wanted him more than anything else. And she was even willing to give up the joy of the contest for the sake of having him. But she wasn't willing to give up her friendship with her proud rival.

In other words, Rei wanted her Asuka back.

Rei stared at her fingers. They seemed to her to be adequate. They were thin and pale, but their nails were pleasantly rounded, and they fit perfectly between Shinji's. Her skin in general was strange, but it was clear. Her proportions were well within desired parameters. Her personality was not particularly abrasive. She wore clothing less often than was suggested by social convention. It seemed to Rei that there was nothing particularly wrong with her as a romantic prospect.

So why did this world dare to suggest that she couldn't win unless her opponent was turned into...that? She did it once, and that was without the excellent head start she'd been able to give herself this time around.

But no, this world felt like causing Asuka pain. And now Rei's heartstrings had to twinge with pain each time the other girl lashed out at the cruel world. Now she felt like she had to guard Shinji from Asuka - and not in a good way. Not in the fun, entirely playful way that involved trying to show Shinji just how happy she could make him. Now she couldn't even reach out a hand to comfort Asuka.

It was like a bad dream.

And Rei had every intention of waking up from it. Waking up not only herself, but also Asuka. She would coax her way into Asuka's good graces. She would show her kindness and acceptance, without belittling her. She would find out just exactly who it was that made Asuka so angry at the world, she would track them down, and she would demonstrate what happened to people who dared to hurt someone Rei cared about.

And then she would kiss Shinji right in front of Asuka, on principle.

And then...

She found her wrist being gripped uncomfortably. Her eyes flitted down, from the infinite blue sky to the person in front of her. Asuka looked...well, Rei couldn't tell. It was neither happiness nor anger; neither despair nor fear. But there was almost certainly a trace of excitement in her expression.

"You're coming with me."

"Yes."

And though this was strange and not exactly comfortable, Rei's heart overflowed with contentment. It didn't really matter where Asuka was taking her or why - this reminded Rei of the happier days in a time that was far away. She freed her wrist from Asuka's steely grasp and let their palms clutch each other in a softer embrace. And for the moment she was just happy to run along with her friend.

***​

Asuka paced along the wall. She couldn't help it. If she stood still, she began to feel nervous, to fidget and turn her head. The motion made her feel in control, which let her focus her mind. As long as she kept moving, she could keep calm.

Predictably, the motion had exactly the opposite effect on Shinji. He generally stayed calm by staying still, and preferred it when others did likewise. The stillness of a quiet room put his mind at relative ease; the frantic motion of a fellow pilot was a cause for discontent.

As for Rei, while things that could shake her disposition did exist, this was not among them. The relative positioning and motion of objects in space around her could hardly make the eternal half-smile fade.

Asuka shot a look at the First Child and failed to penetrate the gentle demeanor to glean more information. It would take verbal communication to find out anything concrete, and Asuka reluctantly prepared for it. Pushing aside terror and apprehension, she strode up to the other girl and stared directly into her eyes.

"Don't be afraid, First. I'm just going to ask you a few questions."

"I'm not afraid."

"Well...good!" Asuka continued to hover in place, gathering her own courage.

Rei blinked. Once. Very slowly.

"Let's start with a simple one. What is your name?"

"This is ridiculous," Shinji whispered under his breath, even as he heard the words "Rei Ayanami" said in a voice of liquid crystal.

"What is your purpose?"

"The purpose of my life is whatever I make of it. I am an end of myself, not a means to other ends."

"No. Way."

Asuka appeared to be breathing heavily, her eyes bulging out and hands shaking. Something had been shaken loose inside her and whatever control she'd retained going into the conversation was shattered like a glass falling to the floor. But Shinji only noted this in the most cursory manner, watching the Second Child out of the corner of his eye as his own mind seemed to fill with liquid ice.

Since the first moment Shinji first laid eyes upon his Unit 01, his very identity was irrevocably joined to the machine. It became the focal point of his life; the source of all his joy and all his troubles. When he piloted the Eva he was hurt, but he was also happy because it made other people notice him. Without the Eva it was like he was nothing at all.

Getting blasted by the collective awareness of mankind and getting to do things over again had cured him of some of that dependency, but even in this brave new world he'd never once felt like the Evangelion wasn't at the center of his life. It was the source of his power; his tool in defending the world against the Angels and against others who would wish it harm. More than that, it was his only true link to the world beyond his small circle of friends and acquaintances. Piloting the Eva really wasn't a choice - it was his purpose, without a shade of doubt, and if he rejected it then he rejected existence. It was that simple.

And that was him. He'd entered this world after having known some semblance of normalcy. Rei had been born into it. She'd been created to specifications, and then raised within these empty halls, knowing all the while what was expected of her. To make a statement like she just had...there was simply no way.

For her part, Rei was quickly becoming concerned. One moment she and her friends were having an innocuous conversation and the next Shinji began hyperventilating and Asuka started giggling through her teeth. They both seemed to be in some distress; Rei froze up, unsure of whom to help first. Her first instinct was to make sure Shinji was okay, but Asuka seemed to be worse off: whereas Shinji was just frozen with shock, Asuka seemed to shake more and more by the second.

Around that time Asuka's weak giggles dissolved into full-blown laughter. Her chest shook with deep, powerful guffaws and her fists beat against the air for several seconds before settling at her sides.

That decided it. Rei moved toward the other girl, hands extended. She wasn't sure whether she meant to grip Asuka's arms, hug her, or plunge them both into a mindscape where they could talk things out calmly and rationally. It didn't matter in any case because Asuka's own hands flashed upward and caught Rei by the wrists in a pair of painful grips.

"m'fine," she whispered through the laughter.

"But you are..." Rei objected.

"Maniacal. Not hysterical. Maniacal," Asuka responded, then broke into an even louder bout of laughter.

Shinji stared at her and it seemed to him as though something was very different about her. She had spent the entire morning being extremely tense, as if compressed by outside pressure. Now it was as if that pressure had disappeared, letting her expand to her natural proportions. The most recent battle had erased the bags under her eyes and the damage to her hair, and they were only just starting to come back. The temporary health fueled the impression that she was somehow larger than life.

Rei had that same impression. For a moment it seemed as though Asuka was trying to reclaim her dominion over the sun, and a part of Rei wanted to defend he ground even as another part of her rejoiced. But then she realized that wasn't it at all. Asuka wasn't trying to make a symbolic point and she wasn't going crazy - she was just happy. Happy and possibly confused.

All things pass. And so too did Asuka's laughter. After something like five minutes she was all laughed out, with only watery eyes and a slight slump in her posture to indicate anything at all had happened. Rei and Shinji both hovered close to her, confused, the day's earlier weirdness forgotten in the face of this display. She waved away their concern, looking relatively content for the first time since Shinji first laid eyes on her in this world.

"You know," she drawled, straightening up, "I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot. Let's start over! My name is Asuka Langley Sohryu. Would anyone here be shocked to find out I'm a time traveler?"

***​

It was at times like this that Shinji realized just how much things had changed. A lot of the time his new life felt uncomfortably similar to his old one and he began to worry that he was falling into the same routine that had made things so difficult the last time around. Then something like this happened and he had the chance to really compare the two.

Shinji had lived through his share of momentous revelations. Giant robots and giant monsters were both real, Rei was a clone of his mother and the Mother of all mankind, his actual mother was a ghost inside Unit 01, and his father had been working towards the apocalypse all along. He'd encountered each of those facts and dealt with each one (poorly). So he was in a prime position to analyze his own reactions to this world-shattering piece of news.

And it was not world-shattering.

If anything, it made things make sense for the first time since the moment Rei first winked at him. Asuka was a time traveler. Rei was a time traveler. Maybe other people were too - Shinji was almost sure about his father. It all made sense. Glorious, wonderful sense. The world wasn't broken - it was a mosaic.

Naturally a part of him was quietly screaming, but it was small and not all that obtrusive.

Not that he had a lot of time to marvel at his own inner calm, of course. Asuka was experiencing the same thrill of discovery he was, without the burden of several months spent in confusion. She wanted more of that thrill, as quickly as possible. Therefore, Shinji quickly found himself summarily pressed into telling his life story.

Shinji was a naturally quiet boy, his recent attempts at socialization more a product of necessity than inclination. So in his first life his conversations with Asuka were spent with Asuka talking and him listening. And that was fine by him, really - the fact that this Asuka talked so much less, forcing him to talk so much more, actually bothered him. But now he found out that she made up for it by being a truly terrifying listener. She insisted that Shinji state his experiences strictly chronologically, leaving out absolutely no details. Whenever she felt like he was disobeying the command, she forced him to stop and questioned him about things he didn't remember or hadn't ever known about. The questions became doubly persistent once Shinji reached Leliel, and it took Shinji nearly two hours to get through the entire story, by which time he felt as though it had been sucked out of him.

Rei listened to his story with equal interest but asked no questions, whether because she had none or because she found Asuka's satisfactory. She moved closer to Shinji and began to stroke his hand when Asuka's demands and his own memories caused it to start shaking. The stroking morphed into outright holding somewhere between Shinji's description of Asuka's performance against Arael and Rei's own death. She offered him a water bottle when she apparently decided talking had made his throat dry out. Shinji accepted the kind gestures and let the implications of Rei being a time traveler escape him.

All things pass, and in time Shinji's story was finished. He literally couldn't think of a single thing he hadn't mentioned or been questioned on already. He told Asuka so and after asking only several more questions, none of which Shinji knew the answer to, she finally relented.

Her curiosity sated for a moment, Asuka found a waist-height stone barrier to lie on top of and stare up into the sky. She didn't feel the need to say anything, pondering the information she'd received in golden silence.

But even as Asuka's curiosity was satisfied, Shinji's grew. Unlike him, she'd at least had enough time to come up with theories to be tested before the big confrontation. He'd only had a prolonged period of confusion and existential horror. He was almost literally starving for some answers.

"Asuka? What was your world like?"

There was a very long silence.

"You would ask that, wouldn't you?"

Wall of Salamis, Shinji remembered.

"We don't have to, if you'd rather..."

"Too late," Asuka waved her hand weakly. She didn't bother to get up. "You'll need to know this anyway. I'm just being..." she trailed off, unsure or unwilling to characterize her own emotional state more precisely.

In the interest of fairness Rei offered her water bottle to Asuka. The redhead tried to wave it away in irritation but only managed to accidentally knock it out of Rei's hands. She clearly heard the impact but did not turn her head. However, her mood seemed to darken even further, as if this small accident on top of everything else that was going on was a personal insult to her. For her part, Rei quickly picked up the bottle, still filled with water to about one third mark, and resumed her place as a listener.

"Right. As you may have guessed, my world was...not great. I don't know what went wrong. But we didn't even do half as well as you did. Believe it or not, Third Child, I would give anything for your luck."

Amazingly, Shinji did believe it. And that fact that he did terrified him.

"My timeline started off a lot like yours did, actually. Sachiel arrives, Unit 01 goes berserk, Sachiel blows up. Except in our world the explosion happened right on top of one of the shelters. The blast was big enough to dislodge the building and dump it down into the Geofront. It was an inauspicious start to something that did not get better."

Asuka's dictation was remarkably dry. It was as if she were describing the events of a movie she'd seen last week instead of her own life.

"Like I said, I don't know what went wrong. Nothing you've said about your world makes it sound like we were making terrible mistakes in mine. But things just kept getting worse, one right after the other. You know how your Rei died? And then they wheeled out a new one and tried to pretend everything was okay all along?"

"Yes?"

"With us that happened way back at Ramiel."

"Oh."

"First of many times. They didn't manage to hide her secrets for very long. Other things got broken too. Ireul didn't manage to blow up the Magi, but it did fry them. Other Angels destroyed buildings...damaged Evangelions...it got so bad SEELE had to step in and reveal themselves. Didn't help. We tried synching up two pilots to get a Synch Ratio boost and ended up turning one of the potential pilots into a vegetable. Could have been one of us - the us who still had Evas to pilot. The mass production models didn't work out. We lost the Lance. And everything just kept getting worse and worse and worse."

Asuka's voice was finally regaining emotion. Rei's hand was clenched around the water bottle again, as if she sensed that Asuka might soon need some water to either unblock her throat or wash her face.

"A lot of the others...they relied on Shinji to save us all. They thought we would pull through with the help of the Berserker. They didn't see him like I did. They didn't know...when they opened the plug and found an empty plugsuit, they were surprised! But it didn't surprise me. The Shinji I knew would retreat into a fantasy. He thought the world was too harsh - and I'm not so sure he wasn't right, in the end."

"This Shinji came back," offered Rei.

"Barely," Shinji added. He was grateful for the defense, but it didn't feel as though Asuka's comment was meant as an attack on him. There was no bile in her voice.

"No. You did come back. That's...good, I think. Maybe it's just because you had something to come back to. Maybe it's because you're stronger. It...doesn't matter. This wasn't about you. Shinji...my Shinji, I mean...I hated him for a while for leaving us to fight like that. Then my own mind got broken and I think I understood him a little better after that. Living in your own personal Hell...it's not fun, yeah?"

"Yeah," Shinji nodded, getting exactly what she meant.

"Not that it mattered whether I forgave him or not. After he was gone, it was just me and Rei. She didn't have an Eva anymore, but she wasn't totally useless in a fight. So she died and died and died for the good of the humanity until she finally ran out of extra lives. Then it was just me, in a beat-up Evangelion, sustaining the unsustainable one day at a time. Eventually another Angel showed up, way tougher than all the previous ones. I don't know if we could have taken it even if all three of us were there and we still had the Lance. By myself...I lasted just long enough to see my Eva get shredded. It didn't even bother finishing me off or anything. I wasn't worth it."

"Then what happened?" asked Shinji.

"What do you think happened? The base blew up. Some other countries tried to nuke us. It didn't even kill me, and my Unit 02 was in pieces. The Angel kept going. Then - zam - an Anti-AT field spreads all over. Humans melt, Angels become the dominant life form. What happened after that...isn't really important. All that matters is eventually I managed to go back and hopefully clean up that mess before it ever started. Except - well, you can see how things are here. I don't know what's going on anymore."

The silence returned, and it was not one of Shinji's favorites.

"Who are SEELE?"

Shinji and Asuka both turned towards Rei, Asuka nearly overbalancing.

"What?"

"You said SEELE revealed themselves. Who are SEELE?"

"I...I want to say it's not important right now, but it kind of is, especially if you don't know about them. But it can wait until you tell us your story. I made myself sad, and I want to see what kind of a lollypops and rainbows world teaches someone like you about European Enlightenment philosophies. Maybe it'll cheer me up."

"Ah. It wasn't...our world wasn't perfect," Rei began. "We still had Angels and Evangelions. Bad things happened, and rejection and loneliness existed. But at the same time the people were happy."

"Oh yeah? How does that work?" Asuka questioned.

"I don't know," Rei answered honestly. "But for some reason the Evangelions didn't upset us the way they did you. Piloting hurt, but we knew that we were fighting to protect the world. And when the fighting was done we could return to the people who cared about us. I don't know how to explain it, but my strongest memories of my world aren't about Angel battles at all. They're memories of spending time with Shinji...and with the others. Memories of being alive and being happy. I will never let go of those precious thoughts."

"And then something went wrong," suggested Asuka. "Otherwise I presume you'd still be there, making more precious memories."

"Yes. That's...right," Rei acknowledged, now sounding reluctant. "We escalated the conflict beyond our power to contain it. For a while things had been going really well. Our synchronization ratios rose and the Angels died without anyone getting hurt. It made us...unwary. One of the battles left me about to die. Shinji knew what I was, but he still wouldn't allow it to happen. In his determination to protect me from the consequences of my actions, Shinji pushed the Evangelion beyond anything we imagined. Surpassing all the limits placed on the Evas by humanity, he became the Supreme Being of the world. He defeated the Angel that threatened my life. He defeated all the Angels. But in doing so he began his own version of the Third Impact. With the power he unconsciously wielded, there was no need for Adam or Lilith; without meaning to, Shinji initiated a process through which he and Unit 01 would merge not only with humanity but also with all of Heaven and Earth. It felt wonderful."

"But..." prompted Asuka.

"But it wasn't what Shinji wanted, nor what I wanted. To merge with others like that...it was a coward's way out. Rather than accept it, I created a copy of myself and hurled it back through time. It did not go entirely as planned."

"Hold on, hold on. Copy?" Asuka interrupted.

"Yes?"

"Okay, whatever. I guess you've got enough baggage, with or without that."

"Thank...you?"

"Whatever, I said."

More silence. More discomfort.

"Tell us more of your story, please," Shinji asked.

The girls turned to him, but he simply didn't care. He was sick and tired of uncomfortable silences. This whole day had been so full of emotional highs and low that he couldn't bring himself to be afraid of anything right now. He felt giddy and numb and he wanted to know more about Rei because her world seemed happier. It really was as simple as that.

"Yes. I'd like to," Rei nodded.

"Fantastic," Asuka muttered. Shinji couldn't tell, but he suspected she might not have been ironic.

"From the time I was very young I was raised by Commander Ikari," Rei began, to careful nods from her teammates. "He was always very kind to me. He and Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki encouraged me to study metaphysics and poetry," she continued to their expressions of slight confusion.

"When I was older I joined the other children in school, but I was too shy to approach them. I was always alone, and always comfortable with that. This changed when the Commander's son came back."

Shinji definitely felt his cheeks heat up slightly.

"Like me, Shinji Ikari was an Evangelion pilot. Like me, he was shy and alone. It seems natural that he would become my first true friend - and I his. For the first time I truly wanted to be with another person. I wanted to be with him. And then I wanted to be with him."

"Hm. And you say he was the first boy you ever really knew?" asked Asuka.

"At the beginning, yes. But as time went on, Shinji made other friends. Even though he made no effort, they were drawn to his kind, selfless nature, just like I was. But I was the only one with a romantic attachment to him until the arrival of Asuka Langley Sohryu."

Rei closed her eyes.

"Asuka had the most distinct personality I ever saw. She was loud but not, and she could change from angry to sweet in the blink of an eye. I could see that she also thought Shinji's love, even when when she acted like she hated him. In a way I am glad she did. It pushed me to show my affection for Shinji instead of holding it in my heart. This in turn pushed her to show him how much she liked him, in her own way. After a time it became a contest of sorts. Asuka and I were good friends, but we had the same goal, one we could not share. It was like the sweetest game."

"And? Did you win?" Asuka prompted.

"I did," Rei confirmed without hesitation. Her cheeks were tinged a slight pink now, though that was nothing to what Shinji imagined his face looked like. "I think my strategy of not calling him an idiot paid off in the end."

"Huh. Isn't he kind of, sort of your brother, though?"

"He's also kind of, sort of not."

"I...don't think we need to hear more," Shinji sputtered, not entirely sure he meant it. His current mood however, stood less at 'happy' and more at 'flabbergasted.'

"Frankly, I would rather hear about the merging and the Third Impact," agreed Asuka. "When you were sending back a copy of yourself, I don't suppose you happened to give it any extra powers?"

"In a way."

"In what way?" Asuka demanded impatiently.

"By being part of something greater than myself, I gained a better understanding of myself as a separate being. I understand my body and my AT field my better now."

"So...flight? Laser eyes? Invulnerability? Super weaving?"

"Yes, kind of, not really, and no."

"Telekinesis? Pyrokinesis? Telepathy? Going through walls?"

"It's more complicated than that," objected Rei. "The AT field is not some force than can be used to direct matter in that manner. It is the barrier of the soul. The things I can do with it are therefore intimately related to my soul. They are affected by it and affect it back."

"So - not a solve everything button then?"

"I'm afraid not."

"Figures," Asuka muttered. "Still, this is...better than I could have imagined. Maybe you two aren't quite as experienced or strong as I am...maybe you don't know how it is when things get truly dark...but you're not rookies. You're my fellow pilots, so I guess it's okay if I treat you with the kid gloves off, right?"

"The...kid gloves were on?" Shinji blinked.

"The kid gloves aren't always so fun," Asuka shrugged. "I'm still the alpha, by the way, and don't you two forget it."

The two other pilots nodded.

"Now, you wanted to know who SEELE are..."

 

[SeptimusMagisto]

I'm Being Taken Over by the Fear

The Pilots needed to do more things together.

That's what Asuka decided. She then clarified, at quite some length, that this was not to be taken to mean she was suddenly overwhelmed by the desire for the others' company. But if they took care to be frequently seen together, people wouldn't find it suspicious if they found the three of them talking.

Shinji didn't know how much he cared about that. When he set up his own less-than-stellar web of deception he'd been counting on the idea that nobody would guess 'time travel' because it was a counterintuitive thing to guess. But if his father really did travel back then hiding was useless. There was no way he wouldn't figure it out just from everything that had happened so far. If Asuka figured it out then it was only a matter of time before anyone else who was also looping did so as well. On the other hand he wasn't about to tell any of this to Asuka.

Even though Shinji would never dare tell her as much, he thought he understood Asuka now. She had more in common with him than with the other Asuka. The world had hurt them both, badly. But where Shinji chose to retreat and protect himself with an armor constructed out of apathy, Asuka went on the offensive, forging her anger at the world and hatred of the Angels into blades with which she could tear at everything that hurt her.

Looking back knowing what he did now, it seemed to Shinji that some of Asuka's hostility during their early meetings had been feigned. Some, but not all. On the one hand, Asuka had believed that he and Rei were useless and simply didn't want them interfering in her private war. On the other hand, the two of them clearly bothered Asuka on some level. Whether this was because she wanted them to be better combatants or because she didn't want to care about them as much as she did Shinji didn't know and didn't dare to ask.

It would be incorrect to say that understanding Asuka freed him of all Asuka-related problems. She was still as harsh and short-tempered as ever. He still couldn't so much as speak around her without carefully thinking about every word. He didn't think he'd ever be entirely comfortable around her. And yet...Asuka no longer felt like an issue that he needed to solve. His chaotic world had settled down to a demi-normal state, one in which everything was about an equal amount of confusing. It wasn't perfect, far from it. But things were sort of looking up.

While Asuka was the one who had the idea of spending time together, Rei was the one who really took charge. From what Shinji glimpsed of her world during hurried, guarded conversations, it was a place where the Pilots' night life was much more active than anything Shinji remembered from his own life. Rei's tastes ran towards high culture, instrumental music and the kind of restaurant that required you to use silverware. And she took to the task of finding those with the kind of sustained and cheerful energy Shinji was still shocked to see in her.

Which was how Shinji found himself walking between the two girls. Normally he would just put on one of his white shirts and come along to wherever Rei told him to, asking no questions. This time he was upping the stakes with a jacket. The girls wore dresses and light coats. The dresses were something of a guilty pleasure for Shinji, though not as much of one as they might have been a year and a half ago.

"I don't suppose you have a way for us to silently communicate?" Asuka whispered out of the corner of her mouth, startling Shinji out of his thoughts.

For a moment Rei didn't answer. In fact, Shinji thought she looked a bit annoyed at being addressed. Immediately prior to the question she'd had on the widest smile he could remember seeing on her yet, and now her eyes seemed to be shifting back into focus. Shinji wondered where she'd been in her mind just now.

"I'd have to put my hand inside your body," Rei finally admitted.

"No silent communication. Got it."

Shinji just managed to hold back a smile. The exchange was funny, but more importantly it was another indicator of things slowly getting better. All the problems from before the big reveal were still there. But somehow just having them all out in the open made everything a little bit better, a little bit more tolerable.

"Just try to have a good time, Asuka," he suggested.

"No reason we couldn't get some work done at the same time," objected Asuka. She glanced behind her to where two men in suspicious dark suits were following them. Probably not close enough to hear much, but who knew? "Anyway, forget about all that, I guess," she sighed.

The silence from before Asuka's query reasserted itself. Shinji's habit of analyzing silences kicked in again, and this was a pretty good one. The clear sign of observation was the only thing that left an unpleasant aftertaste. Searching his memories, Shinji honestly couldn't remember seeing such overt signs before. Had he always been watched and only just now become cognizant of it, either through his own increased attention to his surroundings (paranoia) or though some psychological manipulation? Or was this a new development, prompted either by new suspicions or by the realization that the future wasn't set in stone and any of the pilots could be kidnapped or run over by a car?

In any case, they approached the concert hall which was both their destination and, in a happy coincidence, the only place the men following them could actually blend in. He stepped through the door and entered a different world.

The light was the first thing he noticed. Yellow, but an extremely bright yellow, so unlike the whitish daylight or the off-color fluorescent lighting at NERV. Waves of light spilling onto black and white checkerboard of a floor, crashing against the white walls and rebounding to wash over itself until everything was bathed in light and even shadows shrank to nothing.

Golden, that was the word for it. A world of golden light.

There was a crowd of people, but they were different from the ones Shinji ran into when riding the train around Tokyo-3. They shared a common bond in their love of music and of light. They were not a group of strangers but a congregation of music worshippers gathered to pay tribute to their common deity. Making his way to the wardrobe, Shinji eventually handed over the girls' coats, getting a pair of numbered metal tokens for his trouble.

It was at that point that he finally let himself look at the girls. It was important to get the full effect at once.

Asuka's dress was light yellow with a white trim of some sort. Most likely it made the trip from Germany. She didn't look quite right in it, though. Whatever Asuka's advantages in terms of power or determination, she seemed to lack a certain grace that came naturally to Asuka. And this long after an Evangelion battle her normal looks were starting to reimpose themselves, her hair thinning and the skin around her eyes darkening. Still, she looked good.

Rei was dressed in an elaborate creation of black and dark blue. The contrast with her skin tone was jarring yet visually pleasing and the increasingly complex towards the bottom actually fitted her figure better than most ordinary clothes. Of course it still looked weird, but it was an interesting kind of weird.

And there was another thing. While Asuka looked pretty much the same whether it was here or at NERV, Rei looked much more at home here. Just as plugsuits were her natural clothes, places like this were her natural environment. The golden light seemed to call something from inside her, some inner glow that made her pale cheeks look slightly pinker and made her habitual half-smile look fresh and new.

The pilots slowly filed into the hall itself. Their tickets entitled them to three adjoining seats. Asuka slid into the furthest without hesitation, sitting down with the stony determination of someone getting ready to make the best of a bad situation.

Shinji hesitated for a second. Rei beat him to the punch by instinctively sliding between him and Asuka and taking the middle seat. His decision made for him, Shinji sat down in the aisle seat and smiled at the others in what he hoped was a reassuring manner.

This was nice. Shinji could only remember a few - very few - times when the pilots just did things like this in his old life. Mostly it was right after they'd killed an Angel and everyone was just so happy to be alive that all the grudges and problems didn't seem important. This had a different quality to it. The problems were still there. The problems were always still there. But maybe he felt like he could deal with them now. Or maybe it was just that he was a different person now, a person aware of all the things he could miss out on. Maybe even Asuka privately wanted something like this.

And Rei...well, as the lights dimmed Rei once more took his hand and held it in her own.

Shinji wasn't at all sure how he felt about this. Over the past few months such casual contact had become so habitual he hardly noticed it anymore, except to revel in the mild pleasure of the sensation. But the more he thought about Rei's revelation, the more acutely he felt the touch.

The exact status of his relationship with Rei had been nebulous in his mind ever since he got back. For a long time he'd been able to just ignore it, even as he and Rei grew closer. But now that she'd revealed exactly what her intentions towards him were he no longer had that luxury.

The confirmation that she liked him in that way was confusing enough. The fact that she'd liked him that way from the very beginning, that she had been taking actions meant to awaken similar feelings in him all along...somehow Shinji felt like he should be more upset about it than he actually was. But whenever he thought about it his mind just pointed out that it wasn't any different from his own scheme of becoming her friend. And that was just him being nice, wasn't it? That was really all Rei had done. So where was the harm?

Then there was the whole DNA thing. Shinji had seen the way Toji acted towards his sister. He'd seen some other guys with their sisters too. He hadn't paid much attention to it since it involved other people and the relations between them, but he'd gotten the general gist. The way they felt about their sisters...wasn't the way he felt about Rei.

Maybe it was because of the way he met her, back when he hadn't known anything about her parentage. Maybe it was just because they'd been raised apart. Maybe it was the fact that she was as much Angel as human. But the conception of Rei as a girl who could be lusted after - whether or not he actually did - had never really gone from his mind.

But still...Rei had his mother's DNA. She had the DNA of Lilith. She was created artificially, had her soul transferred between different bodies, she was from a different dimension, she was a copy of her own memories in a body that might belong to yet another Rei. Never mind being a relative, was Rei even really human? A person, yes, but a human? What would it mean if she wasn't?

And what would it mean if she was?

The Shinji in her timeline apparently knew about it all, and was okay with it. But then the Shinji from Asuka's timeline had apparently decided not to come back from LCL, so it probably wouldn't be a good idea to rely on his doppelgangers for guidance. He had to do what he felt was right, here and at this moment. And that was...

Well, he had no idea.

The fact was, he didn't know how exactly he felt about Rei, whatever she was, the same way he'd never been able to figure out how he felt about Asuka. These people were too close and too complex for him to feel about them just one way.

What he did know was that he still liked it when Rei touched him like this. His head was a mess because of her, but his hand felt absolutely no urge to pull away. In a world where he might no longer hold any significant advantage over his father and maybe not over the mysterious SEELE, in a world where an Angel could come at any time and use any power, in a world where everything was uncertain...Rei's hand on his provided a little comfort.

That was...something?

***​

Shinji was sick and tired of the way his brain worked. Earlier today all it took was a little bit of music and the company of the girls and everything was hope and butterflies. Now that he was alone and it was darker his brain suddenly wanted him to feel hopeless again. But Shinji was too tired. Tired of oscillating between hope and despair. Tired of having a thousand voices in his head all screaming different things at him.

The beginnings of his current mood were brought about by musing on his situation again. It had all seemed simple on the beach. Go back in time and set everything right. Build up his friends, fight the good fight, get someone to root out conspiracies.

It had seemed more complicated during the planning sessions in his room. By then he'd known that the world was different, but the plan could still work. Even with his biggest asset rendered useless the overall plan still made sense. Someone was still going to cause the end of the world and Shinji still knew about the ways to do it and had rough approximations of the people who could stop it. Everything unexpected could still be made a part of that plan. Even Asuka's disposition was something to be dealt with.

And then came the great revelation and with it the realization that he was going into this battle without any real advantage to his name. His knowledge of the future was useless. What little was not was likely known to his enemies too. Even the Angels of this world seemed forewarned. In such circumstances would anything he or his friends had done so far even matter? Would it even matter that Rei would never willingly help start the Third Impact? That Asuka's Unit 02 had an engine that would run forever?

There was nihilism inside Shinji, that much was clear. There was also apathy; the ever-present impulse to just put on his headphones or stare at something and escape the world for a while. There was also a part of him that wanted to get out and go and give hell to an enemy - not a natural disaster like an Angel but a human-type enemy who could also feel frustration and disappointment.

And yet somehow none of these parts were him. What Shinji wanted was to be free of the storm within his mind. He didn't want to hurt but he didn't want to feel numb either. He didn't want to blindly panic. He definitely didn't want to lie in bed and have all these thoughts pound at him for the next several hours.

So he got up.

Shinji spent the next several minutes unweaving his actual thoughts from the ones his brain wanted him to have. Deciding that he didn't want to stay in his room was easy enough. He walked out, leaving behind the part of himself that wanted him to shut the door and hug his knees. What next?

There was definitely a part of him that wanted to find out where his father lived, go over there and do...something. Something ill-advised, probably. Shinji didn't see any good coming from a potential confrontation. His father and his apparent taskmasters weren't that easy to attack and even if they had been...they were necessary.

There were other courses of action Shinji could undertake. He could go out and find Misato. He could talk to Rei or to Asuka, even with the chance of surveillance. He could track down the nearest man in a black suit and explain everything to him, make him see the whole picture and hope it would be enough. The possibilities available to him were actually surprisingly expansive.

But he couldn't decide. He couldn't calm down long enough to think things through and he couldn't trust his emotions either. He needed to clear his head. He needed to go somewhere he could think.

And just like that the multitude of options before him simply fell away, leaving him with one clear path.

***​

It always came back to the Eva in the end.

Since the moment Shinji laid eyes on Unit 01's face, he'd been trying to escape it. Fighting in the Evangelion wasn't glorious and it definitely wasn't fun. It was scary, confusing, and painful. He had to fight monsters. The Eva could kill him at any moment, or it could disobey and kill others using his hands. But worst of all, the Eva was trying to swallow Shinji's presence in the world. As long as Unit 01 required a pilot, there was no way Shinji could do anything else with his life and still have it hold meaning. Shinji was only the pilot of Unit 01.

So why was it that the only times he could think clearly these days were spent inside the Eva?

The metal giants were locked in their bays, drained of power and locked in restraints. There were no special security measures in place, at least none that Shinji could see. There was probably a camera somewhere, and someone might even be watching the tape. But maybe not. After all, the Evangelions were massive and well-armored. Damaging one was practically impossible. And not even a pilot could steal one of them - not without a team of techs to prepare the machine for safe human habitation. Which was why it was fine for Shinji to crawl into the plug, now extended and dry of LCL, without anyone getting in his way.

He was wearing a plug suit. The locker rooms were as unguarded as the Eva bays, and it felt right to have the garment against his skin. It felt like he was wearing nothing at all. And at first it always made him feel vulnerable. But these days he associated the feeling with being able to smash mountains with his fists.

That was why he was in there now, staring at the lifeless controls like an idiot. Because he wanted more of that feeling. The only good thing about piloting now that he didn't crave his father's approval anymore. When he was on the ground he was only an ant. Only a boy fighting the most powerful people in the world. In the Eva...

No, that wasn't right. That was only a semi-rational explanation. The truth was, he thought more clearly in the Eva. The...flow of time or whatever it was he felt, or thought he felt, was more visible. In the brief moments when an Angel wasn't trying to mutilate him, he felt as though he was as high above the world as the head of his Evangelion.

He theorized that it might have something to do with the soul trapped inside the Evangelion. Of course he wasn't quite clear on who that was. Was it his mother? The mother of the Shinji he replaced - if there was one? A third-party Yui Ikari? Or perhaps something completely new? Shinji honestly didn't know. He could reach out to it and draw strength from it during battle, but he couldn't feel things like that.

Whatever it was, he thought that he could maybe feel it now. Something danced on the edge of his mind, like a half-forgotten song. Shinji gripped the unresponsive levers and got a little more comfortable.

Silence.

Blessed silence races through his head for the first time in days. The uncertainty falls away, leaving a clear, empty vastness in which every thought he has is clear as a bell, cutting through the his conscious like Rei's voice through a room.

The silence holds no answers, for that is not in its nature. But it holds true relief, not the false escape of distracting himself. The accumulated weeks of confusion simply dissolve.

What little he knows comes forward easily. The enormity of the task before him echoes in the silence. The NERV organizational chart hangs in the aether like a gossamer web. Rei and a monster made of white marshmallow flesh circle each other. A multitude of Gendo Ikaris are betraying a multitude of Shinjis in who knows how many timelines. A group of old men hangs over everything, faces hidden by shadow, fingers twirling white Evangelions like so many puppets.

He settles down to think.

***​

Shinji woke up and blinked away the light burning his eyes.

He turned his head, looking away from the window, and sat up. For a few more seconds his eyelids fluttered in confusion, and he felt vaguely lost, as if the remnants of some lost dream were still pulling on his mind. But as he began to dress, the room solidified and the sense of normalcy was restored.

He always let the sun wake him up these days. Technically he could still get batteries for an alarm clock, or use one of the old ones that were just wind-up. But it wasn't as though he had anything much to wake up for. If the sun wasn't up then there wasn't a lot he should be doing.

Shinji stumbled into the living room. Asuka's door was closed, but something told him she was already up. She wasn't in the house, though. Probably she'd had breakfast and gone off to do something on her own without bothering to wake him. That sort of thing happened a lot. They'd probably run into each other in the evening at the very latest.

He decided to check on the hen. He and Asuka had taken a trip to a nearby farming community in the vague expectation of starting a farm of their own. For the moment they had plenty of preserved products, but even the best preservatives didn't last forever and in a decade or two everything except rice, flour and honey would be basically inedible. Already they were supplementing their diet with apples from a nearby orchard and planting some of the seeds closer to their house. Theoretically those would eventually grow into trees, which could at least provide plenty of fresh fruit with not much maintenance.

But trees were one thing. He didn't know the first thing about gardening, and Asuka certainly didn't. He still tried to take something - beans, probably - in hopes that if he just threw it into the ground it would just kind of grow on its own. He needed proof of concept, not productivity. So far it wasn't going well.

In any case, the hen was part of the same project. In his mind they needed it to lay eggs and maybe a cow or a goat to give them milk. He'd considered a pig, but the thought of trying to butcher one (or, for that matter, capture one) had him pausing and agreeing with Rei's positions on vegetarianism. The goat thing also hadn't gone well. Any animals that had been confined when the Third Impact hit had died. The ones who managed to survive for so long were in no mood to deal with Shinji. He just barely managed to capture a chicken after more than an hour of trying. He was sure that a goat would have defeated him outright.

Since then the bird had brought him little but misery. Even though they'd retrieved one of the old cages, the hen still managed to hide its eggs half the time and it pooped everywhere. Still, it had to be done.

After a breakfast of boiled eggs and dry cereal Shinji left the house. Not for the first time he felt thankful that the Third Impact had not reversed the atmospheric changes caused by the Second. Surviving in the mild eternal summer was relatively easy. He couldn't imagine what they'd do if snow still existed.

He wasn't sure where he was going at first. That happened a lot. With the structure of society entirely broken, a lot of Shinji's life was sort of aimless. It was only ten minutes into the walk that he found out he was heading towards the city.

Shinji shivered slightly. He did not, on the whole, feel comfortable in the city. Too many memories, and frankly too many pieces that were coming loose. But it was full of useful things, so he usually ended up there at least once a week. Today was as good a day as any, he supposed.

The grass and the mushrooms were still in the process of cracking the pavement. The first time Shinji had seen a living thing break through the city's stony shell, he'd been impressed. At this point it was just vaguely sad. Shinji couldn't help feeling that the city should have stayed the way it was. Even though it was depressing, it would have been better if something humans had made remained behind. A tomb was depressing, but a tomb that was falling apart was even more so.

And then something hit Shinji.

It was an indescribably sort of feeling, both familiar and yet not. It was a kind of deja vu, or maybe a deja vu of a deja vu, a feeling of significance and certainty that were like another sense, one as certain and as clear as vision or hearing and yet completely unreliable. He knew with 100% certainty that when he turned the next corner he would see Asuka and that it was a sight he would never be able to unsee.

For a second he wanted nothing more than to just turn around and run away. It would almost be okay to do it this time. But it was much too late. His legs carried him forward on their own and his eyes stared, refusing his commands to close. And he saw Asuka, just as portended.

And it was awful. She looked like he sometimes felt. He face was buried in her arms and her back was arched as if she was trying to make herself smaller...or make herself disappear. Her dress was stained from sitting on the ground, and she never let that happen, even now. It was heartbreaking in a way, a reminder that the Third Impact and everything that came before and after it affected her just as badly as him. The scene seemed to burn itself into his mind and why does this feel familiar?

And yet, despite everything, Shinji felt a certain illicit thrill watching her like that, the same one he got whenever he worked up the courage to peek at her when she was bathing. Something about seeing Asuka when she was unguarded, supposedly private, really got to him.

And then she looked up.

No, Shinji thought. This is wrong. It wasn't really supposed to happen like that. He knew that, though he couldn't remember how.

"What are you doing here?"

Shinji shivered at the sound. The tone of Asuka's voice was something he'd expect from Rei there was something about Rei, flat and monotonous. There was anger there, but it was like a wound spring. There was also pain, and that was worse.

"I didn't mean to be. It just happened."

"Liar. You followed me on purpose, didn't you? You think that just because we're the only people in the whole world I'm not allowed any time by myself, is that right?

"No! I...I'm sorry."

"It's not fair! It's not...why are you the only other person here? Why do you do these things? Why do you make me so mad?" she demanded.

"Asuka, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he babbled. "Please, you know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you on purpose."

"Oh, what does it matter anyway? You're just going to run away and leave me all alone!"

And then Asuka turned, tears spraying into the wind, and ran from him.

Shinji gave chase without a pause. He couldn't help it. Something about what Asuka just said broke his heart and he thought he could remember doing something to hurt Asuka terribly, even if he didn't know what. But even though he ran as fast as he could and Asuka barely seemed to exert herself, she seemed to get further and further away from him. Even though intellectually he knew she was only a few feet ahead, the distance seemed to stretch into an infinity.

And then all of a sudden Asuka' froze. All the imaginary distance between them disappeared just like that and Shinji practically ran into her.

For a moment Shinji believed that the girl would be willing to listen to reason. And then he saw what she'd seen a moment earlier, the thing that made her stop in her tracks.

"Oh, no," he whispered.

Shinji had seen the dog pack before. Much like the farm animals, some of the pets formerly living in the city managed to survive and were slowly readjusting to the wild. He'd always been mildly concerned about it, but at the end of the day half of it was made up of poodles and their ilk, and that just wasn't that intimidating.

Until now. Somehow the dogs seemed different from the usual. Stronger without being bigger. More vicious without outright growling. More sure of themselves, with none of the atmosphere of fumbling that usually accompanied them.

Shinji's own brain fumbled instead, trying to figure out if he and Asuka were supposed to run, fight, or stand still and try not to attract attention. The dogs decided for them, rushing forward in a furry wave. Shinji rushed forward, kicking the biggest one in the face. The others rushed around him and fell upon Asuka.

It was the strangest thing. No matter how he attacked them, no matter how many he pulled off the girls and threw away, they paid him absolutely no attention. They seemed determined to rip Asuka to shreds and no matter what he did they just kept coming, kept latching onto her, kept drawing blood.

And then, after what seemed like an eternity, they were suddenly free and Asuka was in front of him, covered with dozens of bleeding bites. He pulled her to her feet and they ran without a word. Shinji's lungs burned and his brain burned too, struggling to understand what was happening and why.

Something plunged through Asuka and she stopped and scream.

Shinji looked for the attacker and was not disappointed. The dogs were changing, standing upright. Their muzzles were pulling back into blank, savage beaks, their fur turning bone white. They wielded spears now, clumsy wooden things that grew more elegant, almost organic-looking as he watched. One of them was lodged in Asuka's shoulder.

Shinji yanked the thing out without a second thought and wielded it like a madman, poking the blood-stained tip in and out, as if to menace the monsters. One of them extended its hand and the weapon ripped itself out of Shinji's arms and flew back into the monster's hand.

Shinji practically screamed and shoved Asuka forward, but to no avail. She tripped and fell on one knee and looked up at him, pain evident on her face. It was at that point that he noticed that at some point her clothes became a plugsuit.

The monsters, which by now looked just like human-sized versions of Mass Production Evangelions, moved forward with a swaying gait. Shinji tried to interpose himself between them and Asuka. They laughed with a silence so intense it cut through all sound and rose into the air, descending around the two humans. Shinji lunged at the nearest one and passed through it like smoke. He turned around only to find himself more than twenty feet away and see the monsters plunge their spears, which now looked exactly like the Lance of Longinus, into Asuka.

Shinji tried to move to help Asuka, to do anything, but it was as if an invisible barrier, an AT field of some sort, was blocking him. The miniature Evas kept attacking Asuka, prodding her with their spears and ripping at her with their teeth, and he was powerless to even approach.

"H-help her!" he screamed. "Somebody please help her!"

Help rose up from the sea.

In a scene that was familiar - yes, Shinji thought he could remember now, though not clearly - the orange seas rose up to form a titanic figure with familiar looking features. It stretched its hands and the monstrous things exploded, showering everything with red liquid.

"I...thank you?" Shinji meekly muttered, his head swimming.

The face of the titan dissolved and reformed. The face of Rei, the face of Kaworu, was replaced by a colossal version of the face of Shinji Ikari, stern and perhaps somewhat malevolent. Lips that could crush cities were stretched in an enigmatic smile of sorts.

"What's happening?" Shinji demanded.

The Gendo spectre extended its hands. Life-sized Evangelions hung from Evangelion-sized strings, all tangled up and limp.

At this point Shinji was really more confused than scared.

As if in response to that thought, Gendo's face melted. An undifferentiated blank was left in its place, little more than a pile of orange the size of a country with black pits instead of eyes and mouth. Likewise, the giant hands were dissolving, fingers turning to clumsy flippers, the illusory Evangelions fading into thin air.

With a sound almost like a sigh the great creature leaned forward and came apart. A tidal wave of red crashed over Shinji. It should have broken his bones; it didn't. Instead he found himself inside the red, miles deep, blind to anything else. He took a lungful of the Tang and suddenly found he couldn't breathe. It was as if his lungs were filled with sheer nothingness. Within seconds he began choking, flailing his arms as if in vain.

A single dot in the sea of red turned momentarily pink. Shinji saw Asuka, her body camouflaged by a red plugsuit, her red hair rising in a halo around her face, pink but marred with her red blood. She stared at him through the ruins of her eyes and whispered a word he couldn't hear.

***​

Shinji woke up and blinked away the light burning his eyes.

"What was that?" he muttered to himself, the dry throat stealing away what little sound he meant to give out.

"Ikari? What are you doing in here?"

Shinji's eyes focused on a familiar face. He'd been thinking about NERV staff before...before the...

A white-hot spike of pain drove itself into his head, forcing him to cry out softly.

"Everyone's been looking for you. Have you been in here the whole time?"

Maya. That was it. She was one of Dr. Akagi's assistants.

"At least you're already in your plugsuit. Come on, you should join the others."

Shinji felt groggy and confused so he allowed the tech to pull on his arm and shuffled his feet as directed. His brain seemed to be trying to reabsorb a big chunk of his life while also trying to make sense of the nightmare. Whatever plans he might have concocted while in the Evangelion were definitely gone to wherever forgotten dreams went. And frankly that didn't seem important right now.

"I'll take that as a no," Maya commented.

"What?"

"I asked you if you were alright."

"I...guess I'm not, huh? I'm sorry. Tonight has been weird. Is there an Angel?"

"Yeah. You didn't know?"

In retrospect, Shinji understood that his sleeping arrangements had not been optimal. But it was too late to do anything about it now.

"The Angel. Which one is it?"

"Which one? Oh...well, the Operations Director will explain what we know about it so far, but the codename they gave it is Arael."

***​

Asuka was not taking the news well.

Shinji hadn't realized how quickly he'd come to depend on Asuka. Even though she'd only fought two of the Angels so far, he was already counting on her fighting spirit. She was overly aggressive, uncooperative, and dangerous to him, but one thing he'd never had cause to doubt was that when it came to a fight with an Angel she would definitely fight, without hesitation or pause or concern for her own safety or the safety of those around her. She would attack it with a limitless fury and not stop until it was dead and gone.

And right now that fighting spirit seemed to be gone. Asuka's eyes were wide open and her knuckles were going white from gripping her chair. She didn't seem able to look away from the monitors, which showed a still image of a crystal bird made of white light.

"The Angel appeared just over an hour ago and has been hanging in the upper atmosphere ever since. We can't hit it with particle weapons and missiles aren't doing anything. That means that for the moment we're in a state of high alert. We sit here and we wait for it to come down," Misato informed the pilots.

"We...can't," said Shinji.

"It's not an ideal situation," Misato acknowledged. "But there's not a lot we can do. And at least the Angel is being passive so far."

"It's not."

All the faces in the room suddenly turned to Shinji.

"I think the Angel did something to my head," he admitted.

"Are you okay?" Rei and, oddly enough, Asuka asked in the same breath.

"I think so. But it was...bad. I think it can hurt us from where it is. If it just stays there long enough, I think it could hurt us badly."

"Damn."

Misato's fist hit the table with such force that the reams of paper on it shifted around. Asuka gripped her chair even more tightly. Rei looked on with concern, the ever-present smile gone from her face.

"That...does complicate matters," Misato admitted. "But I'm not sure what we can do. It's possible we could cobble together something that would let us bring the fight to the Angel, but it's not exactly an easy engineering problem."

Rei stared at Asuka, her eyes boring into the other girl's as if asking "Now?" Asuka seemed to consider it for several seconds, then shook her head. Rei nodded and spoke up.

"Shinji. You said the Angel's attack was mental, correct?"

"I...yes. Definitely."

"Then the best thing we can do is to attract its attention. If one of us goes up to the surface to face it, the Angel will probably focus all of its attention of them. It may give us more options."

"What?!" Asuka demanded, jumping from her seat. "Are you completely insane?"

"The one who attracts the Angel's attention should be me," Rei went on as if Asuka hadn't said anything.

"Absolutely not!" Misato slammed her fist against the desk again. "There is no way I'm authorizing something like that."

"And if she did, I'd physically knock you out before you could step foot in an Evangelion," added Asuka.

Rei seemed genuinely taken aback by their reaction.

"We don't have a choice," she objected.

"We always have a choice. And I will not choose to use you as bait," answered Misato.

Rei glanced to Shinji as if asking for his support, but he looked away. In his mind Misato and Asuka were right. He'd seen where the plan Rei was proposing led. There was no way he'd let that happen to her. Or to Asuka. Or, for that matter, to himself.

"It has to be done," insisted Rei. "If you won't authorize this operation, I will go directly to Commander Ikari."

"What? Even he wouldn't authorize you of all people to do something like that!" Misato protested.

But...wouldn't he? Thought Shinji. His father might not care about Rei as a person, but he definitely cared about her as a key for his plans. So he might not want to agree. But on the other hand, if Rei told him the truth - the complete truth - if she laid all the cards on the table, then whether or not he was from the future himself he'd almost have to listen. And he might go with her plan, or with some variation of it.

Apparently Asuka came to the same realization. She paled and turned on Misato.

"I think that Shinji and I need to talk to Rei. In private."

Misato stared at her with suspicion in her eyes.

"No, really, we need to," Asuka insisted. "You know how she is. She needs friends like us to tell her to stop trying to throw her life away."

"Oh. Right," Misato suddenly seemed enlightened. "You know what? That's a great idea. How about you and Shinji take a couple of minutes to talk Rei out of this while I go look at some preliminary notes."

She rushed out of the room, barely pausing to shut the door behind her. Asuka turned on Rei, and all of her fighting spirit seemed to be back. And all of it was directed at the slim, blue haired, self-sacrificial girl.

"Let me ask you again. Are you completely insane?!"

Asuka's anger rushed out in a great wave and slammed into the rock of calm that was Rei.

"I don't understand your objection. It's the only plan that can work."

"First of all, even if it could work, you'd be setting yourself up to be a drooling vegetable. Second of all, it can't work, because in case you haven't noticed, we're short exactly one Lance. So even if you managed to distract it, we still couldn't kill it. And anyway, you have no idea what Arael could do to you, do you?"

"I do."

Those two simple words rang with more force than all of Asuka's screams.

"I faced Arael once before. I know what this Angel is capable of. And I know that I don't need a Lance to defeat it."

"And if this version of Arael is different, huh? What if it's tougher, or if it decides to disintegrate you instead of breaking your mind?"

"Do you have a better idea?" asked Rei simply.

"Sure. How about we wait for Misato to create some kind of an Evangelion jetpack so we can destroy that thing in the air. Or we pull off some kind of crazy plan to launch an Evangelion using the force of the other two's AT fields. Or we go down to Terminal Dogma and eat Lilith. Anything is a better plan than trying to bit Arael in a battle of wills, do you get that?"

"Eat Lilith?" Rei repeated, surprise sneaking into her voice.

"Hey, I don't know! I don't have a lot to work with here."

"Asuka. This is something that has to be done," Rei said gently..

"How can you be so sure you can handle it?" Asuka demanded. "Maybe you've lived through a best-case scenario, but I've been on the worst-case side of it, and believe me, if things go the slightest bit wrong you're going to regret this for the rest of your life. For the rest of however many lives you have."

"This is something that has to be done," Rei repeated, in exactly the same tone of voice.

"Shinji, tell her!" Asuka demanded, turning to face him.

"Asuka...I don't know," he answered honestly. "I don't want Rei to do it either. But staying here won't protect her. The Angel already managed to reach me. Maybe it was because I was in my Eva, or because I was asleep. But I think it could reach us all sooner or later. Without an Evangelion we couldn't even fight back."

"And so you're saying it's better for her to die quickly while trying to do something than to die slowly here with us?"

"I won't die," Rei interjected.

"You think too much of yourself."

"The Commander will never allow the scenario you describe," Rei added. "Eventually he will send one of us out. And it's better if it's me than if it's you or Shinji."

"Because you're so much tougher than the two of us, right?" Asuka snorted.

"I think I can withstand the Angel's attack better. Also, if I die I can be replaced."

"Not this again!" protested Shinji.

"I can," Rei insisted, her already serious voice growing ice cold. "Even if you don't like it and I don't like it, for the purposes of mankind's survival I can be replaced. You and Asuka can't. It has to be me."

"You are insane," Asuka muttered. But the fight seemed gone from her again, perhaps driven out by the prospect of Arael slowly reaching into her mind over the course of many hours.

"If it's necessary," answered Rei.

***​

Rei prepared to face Arael.

She wasn't exactly thrilled about it. Her first battle with this particular Angel had been terrifying and exhausting, even if it ultimately proved enlightening. But it pretty much had to be her. Shinji didn't have any experience facing Arael's light, save for the brief brush earlier this night. Perhaps he would do better when conscious and with his AT field up, but Rei refused to let him take that chance. As for Asuka...the reasons why she couldn't be allowed to face Arael were extremely obvious.

Thus, Rei sat in her plug and prepared her mental defenses. She focused on herself, the core of her own identity she'd learned to recognize, the light of her own soul. And she bolstered herself with every happy memory, every good experience, every lesson she'd had a chance to learn, in her previous life or in this one. The Angel's greatest weapons were fear and uncertainty. Happiness could shield her and understanding would be her own sword to wield against it.

"Rei? Are you ready?" Misato's voice sounded shaky.

"I am," the girl decided. There was no real sense waiting anymore.

"Okay then. We're bringing you up."

Rei closed her eyes, drawing on her knowledge. She'd been part of something far greater than the Angel, once. She could remember that feeling and she held onto it as Unit 00 slowly rose into the light of the stars.

And the Angel's light focused on it immediately, as Rei knew it would.

Her perception of reality was torn from her immediately. She knew that when she next opened her eyes she wouldn't see the real world but the world of her own mind.

Which was why she was not surprised to find herself floating naked in the tank with her sisters, the LCL dim in the outside light. Staring at the other potential versions of Rei Ayanami around her, at their vacant grins, Rei felt...almost nothing.

"I have been in this situation before," she proclaimed. "But I do understand who I am now. I know the nature of my own persistent identity and I know what separates me from the Rei Ayanami who came before me and the one who might come after me. I'm not afraid of this anymore."

The clones hung limp, making no move to threaten her, nor to attempt to communicate.

"But you should be. If you're in my mind then you know that you will die. Even if you win, you will lose yourself. By reading my mind you know that you are. And that you can not be."

And suddenly the Ayanamis rearranged themselves, subtle drifts making a hole through which another Rei Ayanami entered, twilight at her back.

This one was very different from the others. She was somehow more real. Her eyes held a sparkle of vitality that the moonbrained spares lacked and her hair stayed in Rei's orderly cut even within the liquid LCL.

"Hello," said Rei.

"Hello," said the Other.

They spent several seconds in silence, floating and staring at each other. Rei was determined not to be the one to speak first. Let the Angel reveal its thoughts.

"I'm not afraid anymore," the Other finally stated, extending her hand.

The clones moved in and grabbed Rei's hands. She made only the most minor of moves to resist them before they pulled at her arms, even as more of them latched onto her legs and pulled them straight. And then, suddenly, the tank disappeared and Rei found herself in a red field, still facing the Other, on a cross.

She didn't feel the pain she would expect from nails, nor the pressure of ropes. But she still couldn't move her hands, as if she were being held by the cross's sheer presence.

"I don't understand," she said.

"I do," answered the other. "I have been in this situation before."

And in the real world the others gasped as Arael suddenly dissolved, becoming part of its own light, which swallowed the sky, becoming an enormous spiral swirling down into Rei. Misato swore and punched the abort button, dropping Unit 00 down into the depths of the Geofront and shutting the entrance behind it.

But it was too late. The Unit 00 that exited the chute was not the same one that entered. It was surrounded by a sort of iridescent field, as if a second set of armor made of light grew over its own set. And as it exited, enormous wings of light unfurled from its back, as if it were an Angel from the popular consciousness.

"Rei. No," gasped Shinji from his own Evangelion.

"Damn it damn it damn it!" screamed Asuka, wrenching Unit 02 forward, fist upraised.

"I'm not afraid anymore," repeated the Other.

***​

"Asuka, no!" Shinji screamed in a panic. "That's Rei. It's got her."

"I know that!" Asuka screamed back. "It doesn't matter. We have to..."

"...shut Unit 00 down! Engage all the safety precautions. Even the ones you think I don't know about," commanded Dr. Akagi.

Her lackeys began throwing switches, beginning with the common ones. They didn't really expect their normal commands to work, but it would be embarrassing to resort to extreme measures only to find out that telling the Evangelion to cut the connections would have expelled the Angel. They grew more concerned when the tiny packets of explosives hidden in the edges of the capsule refused to respond to their ultra-shortwave transmitters.

"This is bad!" Maya announced to her comrades. "We can't break through. Unit 00's AT field is totally different from what it's supposed to be."

"All right," rumbled Dr. Akagi. "We have to take them out of the system. Make sure the self-destruct procedures don't ignore Unit 00 or Rei. I don't want..."

"...to hurt her!" Asuka answered Shinji, throwing herself against Rei's AT field. "But I doubt she wants to hurt us either. And that's exactly what she'll end up doing if that Angel keeps driving her Unit around like a puppet. So suck it up and attack her already!"

With all the force she could safely call upon, Asuka focused her AT field into a needle-sharp lance and threw it against the layered hexagons making up Unit 00's defense. It failed to make a scratch.

"I may have to resort..."

"...to extreme measures," Aoba continued. "It's better to risk Unit 00 that way than to test it against the defense systems."

"Agreed," Hyuga nodded. "But we might not be able to do it. We couldn't afford to install the deadman switch and her AT field has been blocking absolutely everything we send. Even if we use the Magi to amplify the signal, we might not be able to..."

"...punch through those defenses!" Asuka complained. "Not unless I hold nothing back. And so it would be really helpful if you stopped trying to hit her with that peashooter and either picked up a real gun or helped me degrade her AT field!"

"Um..." Shinji glanced at his pellet rifle. "Are you sure we need to attack her? Unit 00 hasn't even moved forward."

"She's probably able to put up a better defense that way! She's probably been trying to get me to exhaust myself. For your information, it didn't work. But she's not going to keep it up much longer!"

"Not much longer," Rei's voice grimly agreed before the wings of white opened wider and Unit 02 was suddenly engulfed in Arael's blinding light.

***​

Two figures hung from the non-existent ceiling by their necks. One of them was a doll. The other was not. The two were equally limp and lifeless, swaying with the inertia of a motion that began a decade ago in another universe. A little red-headed girl cried in front of them, begging for her mother back, swearing to die if that was what it took. In the black vacuum outside the scene an eerie silence and a quiet, dissonant music dueled.

"Please, please don't stop being my mother!" wailed the child. "Please! I'll do anything!"

A stray sound, perhaps a creak of the floor, alerted the little girl to another presence. She turned around to find another redhead standing behind her. The intruder was older and taller, with haggard eyes and a demented smile. But she shared the little girl's features.

"Who are you?" asked the girl, frightened and confused.

For a long second silence reigned. The older girl stared at her young counterpart without blinking, the tip of her tongue running over too-dry lips.

"I'm your future," Asuka answered finally. "And I hate you."

She lunged at her younger self, grabbing her by the throat with both hands. The child began to scream but quickly ran out of air and was left to beat at Asuka's arms helplessly with her tiny hands. Asuka didn't react except to squeeze harder and maintain the pressure until the girl stopped moving, and then for a minute longer. When she completed her grim task, she dropped the tiny corpse at the feet of the others and looked up at her mother's lolling face and the bent head of the rag doll named Asuka.

"This isn't me," she pronounced. Her statement had no agitation in it, no desperation. Only a grim finality that rang like a church bell.

As if responding to her words, the entire scene collapsed, breaking into sharp triangular shards. Asuka picked up a particularly sharp one and moved on to the next scene, also displaying a past tragedy from her life.

"This isn't me," she repeated, slashing the shard in front of her. From her perspective the tip of the shard crossed the entire scene. And just like that the tableau of budding sexuality and unrequited crushes broke in two and then shattered just like the other ones.

"This isn't me!" she repeated again, with more emphasis. She threw the shard at the next scene without even looking, shattering it into a million pieces.

"This is a trap, Angel. And you fell for the bait. See, Wondergirl isn't the only one who's faced you before. I was already broken, once. And these? These are all the pieces of myself I decided not to put back. I'm not an idiot child or a stupid teenager or a pathetic broken girl. These are the mes I chose not be."

Asuka swirled like a ballet dancer, the shards flying around her and forming two ever-moving circles as more of them came from the vacuum.

"You want the real me? Well, come and get me!"

Only silence answered her call.

"Not up for it, huh? Can't say I blame you. See, the way I figure, you've got a hold on Rei. But it costs you, am I right? If you don't maintain part of your attention on keeping her down you're going to lose your grip. And even piggybacking on your contact with us, your mind is tiny. You can't handle much. So...do you think you can face me?"

"Face me!" the darkness echoed her challenge. And suddenly she could see a spot of light in the distance.

Asuka didn't approach. She waited for the Angel to come to her instead, gathering more of her shattered personality around her.

Arael took the form of Rei, in her uniform and with her signature swan wings instead of its own. It approached in a column of radiance, each stride bringing it closer far faster than it should.

"I see you," it announced.

Asuka looked down on herself. In the Angel's light the cracks she hid in the darkness showed clearly. Reassembling herself like a puzzle had been hard enough; assembling herself into someone she actually wanted to be was much harder. With all her weaknesses banished into the void there were many pieces missing. Some of the shards didn't quite fit together and gaps had to be filled with other shards sticking out at odd angles. And though she tried to make the edges stick out and make herself unassailable, she had to admit she looked rather ramshackle from the outside.

"You're broken," it stated the obvious.

"And you're boring me."

She threw one of her circles out, sharp edges glistening like broken glass. But they slowed down when they hit the circle of light, bending, flowing like water into Arael's hands where they turned into formless mass and transformed into two clones of Ayanami, naked and giggling. They flew forward toward Asuka but she threw her remaining circle like a whip and cut the attackers to bloody swatches.

"Is that all you've got?" she demanded proudly, trying to pretend as if her own attack hadn't failed.

The Angel turned its head left and right, as if looking for monsters in the darkness around itself.

***​

"She's broken," the Other announced.

Rei lifted her head groggily. There was something important...she couldn't think.

"Asuka?" she murmured.

"There are pieces of her," the Other confirmed. "Her mind. She chose hate. Going to lose her grip."

"I don't..." Rei tried to rouse herself but another wave of calm overcame her. She went limp on the cross again. "She's...better than this. You have to show her."

"Better," the Other said, without intonation. "Better Asuka. Real Asuka."

"Yes," whispered Rei.

***​

In Asuka's mind the Angel changed. One second it was Rei. The next it was Asuka.

It was not a perfect copy, nor a simulacrum of her usual self. That would have made it easy. It was Asuka as she was now - shattered and remade, the best parts of her former self. But it was more than she was, closer to what she'd been trying to achieve. The skin of its Asuka-image was made up of hundreds of pieces, just like her own, but they fitted together, edges sealed against each other and yet still poking out like razor blades, ready to cut up the world. The Asuka that was Arael carried the real Asuka's ferocity, yes, but it also had a kind of easy confidence that she hadn't felt in a long time, like a powerful monster at home within its domain. When it copied her broken smile it managed to add an extra layer of power into it, so that it looked like the savage grin she was going for and less like the odd grimace she sometimes feared was all she managed.

"Oh, now what?" demanded Asuka with a confidence she didn't feel. At least, she noted, the light around the Angel was gone.

"I'm Asuka," Arael lied. "I'm better than you."

"Whatever!"

Asuka came at the Angel like a locomotive, experimentally throwing a few shards of broken dreams ahead of herself. Predictably, the Angel wasn't bothered by them. It attached them to its own outside, strengthening its persona, with a casual ease she couldn't hope to replicate.

She made what remained of them into a sword that looked like it was made of glass and struck overhead. The Angel extended its arm and the sword shattered against it, but that was fine. What Asuka now held was a dagger with a comically oversized hilt. She lunged forward, driving it into the Angel's belly, and it actually drew a wince of pain.

Her moment of triumph was short-lived. A backhand like a rotating steel beam hit her on the mouth. As she stumbled backward, the Angel slammed a fist into her stomach.

She spit blood in its face and went on the offensive, but her own punch was caught in the Angel's left hand. She stared in horror as it raised up its right arm and karate chopped her own right arm off at the elbow, shattering it like that of a china doll.

Asuka fell back in pain and fear. This couldn't be happening. She didn't remake herself into the kind of warrior she wanted to be and return from Third Impact through sheer willpower only to lose to a dime store copy of herself. With a wrench of will she regrew her lost appendage and grasped the Angel, crooking her elbow around its neck, ignoring its counterattack. And she drew it deeper into the darkness with her, down to the black hole at the bottom of the abyss.

"Let's perish together," she whispered to it in an acidic tone.

"No."

It broke her hold with a wrench, but she didn't give up. She managed to catch it by the bottom of its foot and climbed up, resisting the pull of gravity that was so very existent now.

"Die with me, Asuka," she hissed, pulling on her rival's hair. "Isn't that how it goes? Let's die together."

"Is that all you've got?"

Arael grasped her by the neck with one hand, lifting her away from its body. Asuka struggled against its grip, watching it bring up a fist.

"Pathetic," the Angel announced, delivering one last blow.

And Asuka broke into a million pieces and fell into the deepest part of the darkness.

***​

Shinji watched Unit 02 fall. For the first second or so all he felt was numb surprise. The red Evangelion fell practically the moment the light touched it, with none of the struggle Shinji would have expected. But as that second passed, the surprise was displaced by horror. Shinji could practically feel ice racing up his veins as the falling Evangelion brought back the horrible dreams of an hour ago, along with the darker memories of the past several years, arguably more horrible because they were true.

"No," he breathed out.

Asuka was down, hurt, certainly mentally and probably physically. And Rei was...well, he didn't really know what was going on with Rei, but the last time something like this happened, she killed herself.

"No!"

He tried to summon the berserk rage, but it wouldn't come since he didn't actually want to hurt Rei, no matter what she was possessed with. So instead he rushed forward, driven by desperation alone. Unit 00 turned on him and seemed to spread its wings just a little bit wider.

Racing Arael's light Shinji threw himself against Rei's AT field, the same one that frustrated every effort by Asuka and NERV's science division.

...and passed right through it as though there was nothing there. And even as the light hit him he completely failed to feel the terror or despair he expected, failed to see more nightmarish visions. Instead he felt...loved.

It was unlike anything he'd felt before. It was as if the universe itself was telling him he was wanted, he was welcome. It was like the softness of a cloud and the gentleness of a sunbeam on a warm day. The feeling pleasured him and did nothing whatsoever to stop his run towards Unit 00, Rei, and the Angel.

***​

"I don't understand," said The Other.

"The AT field is the barrier of the soul. It serves to keep others out."

"Yes."

"I have no barriers against Shinji. He is welcome."

Rei said these words with joy, the lethargy that had been crawling across her thoughts all but gone. She pressed her will against the Angel's restraints, and though she couldn't break them, her efforts seemed to cause Arael some distress.

"You don't want to hurt Shinji," Arael reasoned out, reinforcing the binding. "The Unit is not Shinji. We will hurt the Unit."

***​

Shinji walked into the warm light, trying to ignore the impulse to stop and let himself be bathed in it. He understood very little about the current situation and the pleasant feelings rushing up his spinal cord made it hard to remember even the few things he did understand. But he did understand that he was able to do something. In just two more steps he could grab the Unit and restrain it, prevent it from doing any further harm. Maybe they could figure out a way to kill the Angel and save Rei. Maybe...

Unit 00 threw out its right hand and slammed it into Shinji's - into Unit 01's - chest, right where the core was located. And everything dropped away.

***​

The Berserker was there, a creature made up of pure rage, tall as a mountain and fast like lightning. Its every scream seemed to almost crack reality in this place with the red earth and red sea and blue sky.

It threw itself forward and Arael threw itself back, floating on wings made of light. It extended its right hand and shot out a beam of light. It failed to even hit the Berserker. A second one landed on its leg, leaving not a scratch. Flying back to almost the other side of the red island in an effort to put some distance between itself and the furious giant, Arael cupped its palm and instead of flying out, the light remained within it. It held the hand behind itself, as if protecting the bead of light that slowly grew into a sphere from the Berserker.


Arael ducked and weaved away from the Berserker's swipes, moving like a puppet being jerked by its puppeteer. As the sphere of light in its right hand grew it extended its left hand and Rei's cross detached itself from the ground and floated in front of the Angel.

If Arael was trying for a hostage, it didn't work. The Berserker attacked Rei with the same ferocity it put into its other attacks. Instinctively, the girl threw up a barrier to protect herself, and the Berserker's claws were deflected. Then again. And again.

Arael threw the sphere and the Berserker dodged it with grace that seemed impossible in a creature of its size. But as the sphere hit the red sea and turned into a column of light and then a cross, Arael didn't seem displeased with its efforts.

The form of Unit 00 emerged from the ocean behind the Berserker and grasped it around the torso. The Berserker struggled against the grip, trying to claw at the arms locked around its middle, planting an elbow on one of Unit 00's cheekbones. No doubt it could have broken free given enough time. But Arael floated in front of it, still unharmed though somehow looking lessened by its efforts. With one final effort it shot a beam of light directly into the Berserker's forehead.

And suddenly the beast was gone, replaced by a frail-looking woman, not so different from Rei herself and thus Arael's current form. She slept peacefully, unaware of the world around her. A moment later even that form faded, banished from Rei's mindscape. Unit 00 turned around and sank beneath the waves once again as Arael flew back to its old position, struggling to replace Rei's cross.

***​

Shinji felt a sudden, wrenching loss and then his plug went dark. The displays disappeared along with his normal awareness of the Evangelion, leaving behind only darkness and the taste of LCL. He couldn't feel the Unit falling, at least, so presumably it was still on its feet. But it wouldn't respond to either his mental commands or his frantic tugging of the levers, which suddenly offered no resistance.

He understood that the Angel had done something to disrupt his link with the Evangelion. He was powerless to help the girls. And in that moment he began weeping.

What he couldn't know was that Unit 00 slumped as well, as though exhausted, the impenetrable AT field around it residing to what was 'normal' for an Evangelion.

"Now! Do it now!" screamed Maya, jamming a button on what looked like a garage remote. The other techs joined her, sending their own signals.

Unit 00's flesh suddenly moved as if trying to crawl away from itself. Sections of its armor fell off and its head lolled about as if it was being punched. And suddenly the emergency protocols took and the Eva ejected its pilot and fell to its knees, losing the AT field, the wings, and the glittery armor of light.

"Did we do it?" demanded Aoba.

"I think not," grimly announced Dr. Akagi.

The ejected plug broke up mid-flight, exploding in a shower of flame and sharp metal pieces. Rei emerged from it, protected by the same kind of glittery AT armor her unit had had and with a pair of similar white wings, if on a smaller scale. She turned her head and each of the techs could feel her staring directly at them, in particular.

And then Rei flew towards the pyramid.

***​

Darkness.

That was everything Shinji and Asuka knew as their Evas lay silent and unresponsive. To Shinji it felt like several seconds had passed; to Asuka it was an eternity.

For Shinji the darkness was physical. As Asuka drifted down into the darkest abyss of her own mind he was merely drifting in his plug. His desperate mental commands to the Eva achieved precisely no effect; no more than his useless controls. He didn't have any screens. In frustration he kicked and pulled at whatever thing he could reach in an effort to get something going. Then, with a sigh, he turned around and climbed his chair and shimmied up the support structure to the very top of the plug.

In his past life he would have been stuck here until someone either found a way to reactivate the Unit or brought out a specialized machine to get the plug out. In this world NERV seemed better prepared. Even without power he could exit the plug. He just wasn't sure what he would do next.

Asuka's shattered self drifted through the darkness and towards a sudden light in the distance. There was another presence in her mind, buried far beyond her normal reach. It was not part of her own fragmented personality, but neither was it whole. It was loving and morose and as Asuka drifted into its embrace, it felt familiar.

This presence seemed to help Asuka. Supported and stabilized, she unconsciously knotted herself back together, separate shards coming back together into an imperfect imitation of a girl. A girl who opened her eyes to stare at her benefactor.

And widened them in horror.

"No! I don't need you! I don't need anyone! Get away!"

She lashed out at the light, seeking to wound it. But her attack had no noticeable effect. The light burned on, welcoming and a little bit sad. Asuka extricated herself with a forceful tug and flew upward through the void, weeping tears of rage and humiliation. As she ascended she gathered as many pieces of herself as she could. For now she didn't discriminate between the pieces she needed and the ones she did not. If she survived, she could take the time to once again excise her weaknesses. Right now she had a battle to finish.

Shinji emerged from his plug, exhaling LCL. Like always, it poured from his nose and his mouth. Like always, some of it would remain in his lungs, probably forever. He blinked away the red liquid and stared in confusion, first at his fallen Unit and then at the retreating form of Rei, who was quickly becoming a retreating dot of light. With growing dread he wondered what he could do about her. He couldn't defeat the Angel even when he had his Evangelion. What chance did he have now? And anyway, he couldn't possibly catch up to her in time.

A movement at the edge of his eye caught his attention. He turned to see Unit 02 stir.

***​

Rei descended on the pyramid like an angry godling, breaking one of the colossal glass panes into tiny pieces before floating into the room.

"You're too late!" declared Aoba, standing from his chair.

"Not too late," answered the Angel, turning its attention to him. The glorious white light fell from its wings in a directed current and the tech crumbled under its power, falling to his knees and then on his face.

Arael turned around slightly to face Maya, who charged it with a chair held above her head. It lifted its head and almost gently wrenched the chair out of the woman's hands without touching it. She stopped in her tracks and as the Angel invaded her mind, she wept and then she fell.

Hyuga backed away. He saw where this was going and he was under no illusions as to his ability to influence the situation. But still, the light fell on him too. He screamed and dragged his fingernails across his forehead. Thanks to the natural protective ridges, his attempt at self-harm missed his actual eyes and just left bloody marks on his cheeks before he too collapsed. And the Angel turned to the last person standing, pointing its full force at Dr. Akagi.

But the chief scientist seemed to be made of tougher stuff than her assistants. She didn't break under Arael's gaze, though her body convulsed. She reached under her neck and pulled out a necklace with a symbol nobody knew that was like a pentagram but not quite. She held it out in front of her as though warding the Angel off, and for several long seconds it seemed almost to work as she held her own against the light. But metal trinkets and human will could only do so much against the might of an Angel. Slowly but surely she seemed to be losing the fight.

Until, that is, her other hand emerged from her pocket with a swiss army knife with an improbably ornate blade. With a cry of effort and triumph she sank the knife into her own thigh, drawing blood. The physical pain overshadowed the mental torment for several moments. Dr. Akagi screamed, but she was free.

Using the moment of freedom, Dr. Akagi reached into an inner pocket and pulled out a gun. She pointed it at the Angel, which was all too close now, and fired.

It didn't work. One of the bullets missed on its own; another was deflected from its course before it came near Rei. The final struck the luminescent armor and fell to the ground, having done precisely no harm. And as if that last gesture took all the defiance she had left in her, Ritsuko Akagi seemed to finally break and fell to the ground.

Arael seemed to consider the fallen form of the scientist. But then it apparently decided against something and flew towards Maya instead. Kneeling, it lifted the young tech slightly upward and pressed Rei's forehead against hers.

"Let her go!"

Startled, Arael turned to see Shinji. He was standing in front of the broken glass pane as if he somehow, impossibly, climbed up the pyramid to chase after his adversary.

As if obeying the instructions, the Angel released Maya and straightened to look Shinji square in the face. But that hadn't been what Shinji meant.

"You get away from Rei! Or!" he finished lamely. Truth be told, Shinji had no idea what he could do in this situation. Fortunately, the Angel seemed worried enough just the same.

Shinji took a step forward and Arael unleashed its song against him. But when it hit Shinji it once again felt like a warm caress rather than a torrent of nightmares. By taking Rei's strength for its own the Angel lost its ability to intrude into Shinji's soul. The light played over Shinji but it didn't hurt and it didn't slow him as he took a step forward.

Arael tried another approach. Clenching Rei's fist, it ripped a console from the wall. With a wrench, it threw the thing. Shinji flinched but didn't turn away. The more the Angel struck at him the more sure he was that there had to be something he could do. And glimmers of an idea were beginning to dance at the corners of his mind. So when the console slowed and brushed him almost gently as it veered away, he only walked faster.

With its mental powers and its physical manipulation both useless, the Angel sought another avenue of attack. And it settled on the very gun used against it moments earlier. It floated towards the Angel, borne by the AT field, and Rei's hand pointed the weapon straight at Shinji's heart as the Angel prepared to turn the tools of the humans against them.

In spite of the implied threat, Shinji advanced. It would probably be a good idea to run, but the most he could manage was a brisk walk, one foot in front of the other. And though the Angel seemed determined, it didn't quite seem able to get its trigger finger to move. After a few seconds of futile struggle, it chose to drop the gun and tried retreating. But though it floated backward, it didn't seem to have the agility it wanted and Shinji got ever closer.

"Keep...out!" Rei's lips demanded; and even though it mostly sounded angry, Shinji thought he heard a trace of fear in the words too. Encouraged, he walked faster. One step, then another and another. And he was able to stare into Rei's eyes. He'd liked to have seen something in them, whether it was the Angel's hate or Rei fighting to get out, but they just looked like eyes.

The Angel tried to back away, but Shinji wasn't having it. With a jerk he grabbed the back of Rei's head and kissed her on the lips. It was an act more of desperation than romance, and he was much too worried about what would happen if this didn't work to focus on his feelings about the kiss. But there was still a curious kind of enjoyment in it, and Shinji really, really hoped Rei would think so too. The fate of the world depended on it.

Inside Rei's mind the cross trembled and fell apart. Arael stared at her with a vaguely accusing look but did nothing as she began to grow. She grew and grew and grew until her head pierced the sky and her feet crashed through the earth and soon Rei's self took up the whole of her internal world, leaving no room for anything else.

Arael was forcefully ejected, but it managed to retain a measure of grace even in its loss. Floating out of Rei like a mere spirit whisp, it swelled back up to a measure of glory. Its wings of light spread again, framing a wireframe shell of luminosity.

...and Unit 02's hands entered through the hole made by Arael and clapped together, squishing the Angel like a bug.

***​

"Asuka..."

"I'm busy!"

Kaji glanced over at Misato, who shook her head. This was the same response anyone trying to cajole Asuka out of Unit 02 got for the last seventeen hours. Asuka was busy, she didn't care to explain what it was she was doing that required being inside an Evangelion, she wasn't coming out until she was done, and everyone was to just leave her alone.

It all began immediately after the battle against Arael ended. At Asuka's behest Unit 02 left the Geofront, climbed up to the surface, then sat down. Asuka then refused all orders to return to base. Attempts to remotely eject the plug or knock Asuka out by increasing LCL pressure met with failure. At one point Misato sent in an extraction team to try to manually climb up the Evangelion, but Asuka calmly stood up and walked halfway across the town before settling down again. Misato was hesitant to employ harsher countermeasures because Asuka had yet to do any actual harm. She was just...sitting there. In the most powerful war machine ever built. It was a situation that required careful handling.

"Asuka, don't you think it would be better if you let us know what's going on?" Kaji tried reasoning with her. He didn't really think anything would happen here, but Misato felt compelled to try and call him in just in case Asuka responded to him any better.

"No," the girl responded bluntly. "Look, I can't tell you anything. But I know what I'm doing, and if I don't get this done, bad things are going to happen. Is that good enough for you?"

"Asuka..." Misato sighed. "You know it's not. We need to know what's wrong."

"Look, I'm not taking this thing on a rampage, all right?" the voice coming out of the Eva was increasingly exasperated. "Once I'm done, I'll put Unit 02 where it belongs and you can take me to medical or to confinement or wherever it is bad girls go. Until then, stop bothering me and let me work."

Kaji bit his lip and exchanged a glance with Misato, who shook her head again. For the moment she was choosing to tolerate Asuka's behavior. It was better than the alternative.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" he asked, turning away from the blood-red Eva slowly.

"I hope so," answered Misato. "I can't say I ever really understood the Eva. Asuka, though...she's never been good at taking care of herself."

"Well, no. She hasn't," agreed Kaji. "And it's worse than ever now. So you'll need to watch out for her. But keep your eye on the prize."

***​

After something like forty hours of medical and psychological tests, NERV was finally reasonably sure that her brush with Arael had left no long-lasting effects on Rei. Privately Rei suspected that it wouldn't have taken quite so long if they hadn't had to make sure of the same thing for Dr. Akagi first. The Commander was trusting the good doctor. He was also trusting Rei. Trusting her to still be the same person and not to try to eat Shinji. That's why he was letting her have a visit. After this she would have to go back under observation so that they could make triply sure nothing had happened to her.

She was getting moved to the base, too. Temporarily for now, but they were already bringing her things to her quarters. It would probably be for good. Rei wasn't sure how to feel about that. She liked her apartment, but it was hard to feel disappointed about being closer to Shinji and Asuka. On the other hand, it was clear evidence that NERV would be keeping a closer eye on her from now on. Commander Ikari had been awakened to the fact that she was vulnerable in unique ways - ways that couldn't necessarily be fixed with her doubles. It was a sign that things were already changing.

Rei gave a little cough and Shinji glanced up, noting her presence. His eyes immediately lit up.

"Rei! You're okay!"

"I was under observation. Didn't they tell you?"

"I...yeah, they did. But it's different when you see someone in person."

Rei only nodded to that. It was manifestly true. She then allowed three seconds to pass as she gathered her thoughts.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out at the end of that time span.

"I'm sorry," Shinji said at the same time.

Rei stared at him uncomprehendingly. Shinji seemed momentarily surprised by her words too, but recovered faster.

"No!"

She looked up.

"Please don't. If you think it's your fault that the Angel possessed you...I couldn't deal with that. Not right now. So please just don't, okay?"

"Okay," she gave a small smile of relief and reached out to touch his hand. He jerked his away slightly. Then, seeming to realize it, her returned it to the previous position and let the tips of her fingers brush his skin.

"I'm not that kind of sorry," she clarified. "I'm sorry that the Angel attacked so soon. I'm sorry that I couldn't hold it back and also that the two of you couldn't subdue it. I'm sorry for the pain it caused you. And I'm really sorry for what you must think about when you look at me."

She didn't think she had to clarify that last statement. In the immediate aftermath of the attack it would be inevitable that anyone looking at her would be reminded of the Angel. The thought didn't hurt her, not really. Only the idea that it would cause pain to anyone else. That it would cause pain to Shinji.

"I'm sorry for kissing you," Shinji blurted out.

That wasn't exactly what a girl wanted to hear. Shinji seemed to realize that too, so he clarified.

"It's because it wasn't fair to you. You're beautiful and you're kind and when you touch me, it makes me happy. But when I kissed you, I wasn't thinking about any of those things. I just wanted to kill the Angel. Because I knew how you felt about me, I used those feelings."

Shinji's obvious disappointment in saying those words confused Rei. It was obvious that that was why he had kissed her. Even if she expected him to already return her full feelings - which she didn't, yet - it would still be the only reason to kiss like that in the middle of battle. He saved her, saved them all, and she was grateful. If he happened to give her something she wanted in the process, that just made it better. But somehow he didn't feel the same way.

"That's what my father does," Shinji whispered, just loud enough for her to hear. "He uses people's feelings. Whether it's love or hate, it doesn't matter to him, as long as he can use it to make them do what he wants. As long as he can use it...to kill Angels, I suppose."

Rei didn't think that last thing was what he really wanted to say. Even now, in private, they had to be careful of people watching them. Shinji accused the Gendo Ikari of his world of doing terrible things. Rei still thought it was all probably a sort of misunderstanding, but he was right about one thing: the Commander would use people's feelings exactly like Shinji said.

For Rei this fact was not disturbing, as it seemed to be for Shinji. In a war against things like Angels, it took that kind of thinking to win. Shinji's ability to do that didn't repulse her; it made him a better leader and a more impressive individual. Still, until Shinji was ready to accept this aspect of himself, the least she could do was soothing his damaged feelings.

"I will forgive you...on one condition."

Shinji stared at her in surprise. Most likely he expected her forgiveness to be unconditional, since some part of his mind had to realize that there was really nothing to forgive. At worst his 'sorry' was like her own, more a complaint about the circumstances than an admission of guilt.

"Because you used my feelings, I would like to take advantage of yours. Because you kissed me, I would like to kiss you."

It was almost funny watching Shinji's face contort itself. The thought that he might refuse her existed, but Rei didn't think it at all likely. What she said wasn't false. She really was using his feelings against him, the feelings of guilt and affection. By doing so she could hopefully relieve him of the burden of guilt he was placing on himself.

That was the justification she gave herself for it, anyway.

Then Shinji nodded. And Rei smiled.

She waited a few moments for him to stop overtly shaking. Then she cocked her head slightly to one side and reached out to place her hands on Shinji's cheeks. She felt his skin grow hot under her touch and moved her own face forward. She inched forward slowly, not at all aggressive, not at all threatening. She learned this technique while trying to differentiate herself from her great rival.

It wasn't a particularly impressive kiss. Rei allowed her lips to brush his only briefly, taking care to be as gentle as she could, to only hint at the pleasure she could give him. When it was over she pulled away just as gently, contemplating the blush playing across Shinji's cheeks.

"There," she said, softly. "We're even. You have nothing to be guilty for. Anything you do - or don't do - from this point on is yours."

"Rei, I..." Shinji gulped and just nodded.

Rei thought about what to say next. She considered pushing her luck a little more in the romance department, telling him her thoughts about the healing power of time and the company of friends, or of quoting one of the many books on philosophy she'd read. In the end she decided to go with a very simple yet reassuring sentiment.

"Everything will be fine."

 

[SeptimusMagisto]

"I don't trust this. I don't know about you two, but I am not this lucky," Hikari declared, throwing another ham.

Puppiel the Second (Puppiel for short) took off running after the treat. Since being decanted the two-headed, vaguely canine creature had grown into a half-ton mountain of muscle. Its fur was red and white, with short stripes of electric blue appearing at random places, only to peter out. Its musculature was clearly visible beneath the skin, as if the dermis didn't quite fit the rest of the body. Its red eyes were more intelligent than a normal dog's, if also more creepy.

"I don't think luck has anything to do with it," answered Kensuke. "It's skill, you know? Toji and I were the perfect candidates even before we came back. And you've been a pilot too, so obviously you'll test better than someone who's never been one."

"So we're totally ruling out the possibility that anyone else came back too?" asked Hikari.

"Everyone aside from the three people we know are pilots acts just the same, I think," answered Toji. "I mean, I wouldn't say I know everyone, but still..."

"That could still mean they're from a timeline that's like yours or Kensuke's," retorted Hikari, petting one of Puppiel's heads. "No one is acting how I remember."

"Well, if they are then they've failed to perform," answered Toji. "Now that we're all in the program we might as well concentrate on the devil we know."

"The devil who knows us, you mean," complained Hikari. "I mean, all three of us at the same time? No way that's just a coincidence."

"I thought you'd be happier about this, Hikari," said Kensuke.

"She's just mad that she's the Sixth Child," answered Toji smugly. "It's quite a step down from being First."

"Pfft, who would want to be the Fourth, anyway?" asked Kensuke. "Being Fifth means I get my Unit 04 and all the infinite power that entails. And the Sixth Child probably gets some kind of experimental super-prototype."

"Yeah, well..."

"Are you two serious?" interrupted Hikari. "Do you have any idea what kind of consequences we're facing if NERV decides we're working against them? Getting shoved into a dark closet and let out to be tortured for information is what we get if we're lucky. More likely they'll just cut us up for parts."

She stood up, with Puppiel at her side. And even though the hybrid weighed several times what she did and had two maws full of yellowish fangs longer than a human finger, Hikari managed to be the more intimidating of the two.

"Sorry."

"Yeah, sorry."

"Well...you're forgiven. I mean, it's not all bad, right? This way I get my own key card, so I can stop stealing them from Section 2. NERV may watch us, but we'll be able to watch them too."

"So...how do we do this, anyway?" asked Kensuke. "With the three of them, I mean?"

"Well, you and I can probably handle Shinji," answered Toji. "Hikari can take Asuka..."

"I don't know anything about Asuka," Hikari interrupted. "I've never even met her."

"Rei?" asked Toji.

"Met her a couple of times here, but that's it. Of the three of them, I only know about Shinji."

"I...guess I can talk to Asuka," said Toji reluctantly. "Kensuke?"

"I can talk to Rei. I'm not sure if she'll talk back."

"This is a bad plan," remarked Hikari.

"Doesn't matter," answered Toji. "Our plans may not be the best, but our hearts are true."

"And the shine of our souls will light our way!" added Kensuke.

"We're doomed," finished Hikari.