Having gotten through our lovely largely simple gifts and put them away to pick up later, we were striding close to the Temple of Flame's doors, and I spotted six familiar visages approaching on foot around the path encircling the Temple walls, and the five waved at us. We ran over, breaking off the crowd, and I barreled into a hug with my twin brother, the purple and silver jutting torso and broad limbed Galvatron, red optics of his tri-crested face falling on me.
"Ah, you all made it back from your archaeology dig in time, I'm so glad!" I smooched his cheek before standing apart. "It's been a while, at least you write frequently."
"I have to encourage your freewriting somehow, don't I?" Galvatron laughed in between hugged greetings with Greenlight and Aileron. "Can't have you getting more writer's block than you already do."
"Har har, truly why, and not because you enjoy teasing her," light green, ochre, and beige lanky and curving dual back-winged seven and a half meter-tall Anode hugged and pecked with me after letting go of Nautica.
"It's good to see you, dear sunshine friend." Anode's hands grasped my back stacks for a moment, and I sighed, burrowing my head into her shoulder, of one of my oldest friends, one of my Amica Endura. She had been through so much together with me since we were five, and her Conjunx Lug, stout and boxy, standing at Anode's chest height, of mostly red and gray, currently with arms around me, who I had also made amicable vows with.
I missed these two, Daniel's thoughts broke from our joined narrative for a moment. Even though I've only known her for 195 less years than you.
Ha, I missed her too. If you want to step out and spend time just let me know- I thought back while mostly immersed in memories of Anode and Lug, of getting to know each other, sharing a full range of amicable emotions and of our lives, spending so much time supporting and in mirth, able to let our stories drift apart while keeping in touch, finding patient eagerness in missing each other. My mental counterpart was having similar thoughts, having been with me since I was 200 and she was 54, Daniel was very familiar with the two.
No, it's okay for now, I like feeling it through you, with you. I'll probably need to step out during the after party though, when feelings have levelled out a bit- xeir thoughts rejoined mine, and we brimmed with assuredness, trust, and love.
I eventually parted from Anode, "It's good to see you both, starlights," And picked up Lug to kiss her face as she did mine, before I set her down. "How's Glyph holding up?"
"She's in the hospital right now, they're trying to treat her circuit overcharge so she can sleep," Lug grimaced. "Poor zoomdare didn't get any recharge cycle at all after boarding, we don't know what caused it, if it isn't internal origin insomnia, maybe some radiation effect we couldn't find or a cybernucleic pathogen, but that means we missed something during the dig on Aleithia... Tap-Out is with her right now."
"We'll be sure to visit tomorrow as she asked," Lancer stated as she embraced Anode. "We'll continue celebrations in her honor, yes?"
"Yeah, it's what she would want," a robust motor-tricycle bot of red and gray barely half my height leaped onto me, and as I grasped her back her two tricrest helm crowned yellow optics met my own, closing only to leave a glancing touch on my face.
Then she slipped out of my grip, landing on her ankle wheeled feet, back mounted wheel purring in a spin. "Actually, she expressly told me that we should have a good time, so we can tell her about it, so be prepared for chaos!" She winked.
Cackling poured out of me, "Oh Flamewar," I mused while Anode and Lug greeted Gauge and Sideswipe, a sight that made me glad. "Showing you care in your abrupt way, you rascal. Duly noted, we will book some more chaos for the evening. Grimlock says he'll make it to the after party, so I'm sure there will be plenty between the lot of us."
"Old Grim is going to make it, is he?" tall-shouldered and angularly slight orange, yellow, and red hued Hot Rod greeted me as her colleagues had, and then clonked her elbow against that of her sibling Flamewar.
"Good, I miss the old gear, and hearing about adventures you two and your pals have gone on. You better invite me next time, so I can achieve something, for stars' sake!" Hot Rod stuck out her tongue for a moment, and I ended up laughing again.
"Oh, come on, as if you haven't achieved something," I faked a pout while crossing my arms. "Let's go through the list, shall we? Led multiple crews in surviving space phenomena disasters, fought and commanded admirably alongside yours truly in the last two wars and candidly helped Windblade prevent a war with the Orzax Republic that had just attained FTL and run into us-"
"All right, all right, you've sated my ego, old philosopher warrior," Hot Rod waved her pair of hands. "I understand you'll be dancing, yes? I don't want to hold us up from that."
"Heehee, yes, we're going to," Aileron grabbed my left hand. "We should go join the rest."
"Sure, love," I squeezed her hand and followed, turning the corner to the across color spectrum star painted lavender doors much taller and wider than me that were swung open inwards.
We walked in to the electric hearth, forge, and torch-lit interior, with only a single fireplace of actual flame at the end of it. Benches and tables sat on the sides near the large windows, while the metal floor itself was covered with bots from the singing crowd dancing with one another. In held closely held oscillations of steps, with tossing and turning of limbs, on scurrying wheels, legs, repulsors and treads. People moved either to or ignoring the tune of a retro-gear song full of meandering string notes and hummed chords, played by small speakers on the walls and a pink green transformer in their rectangular boombox case altmode, Trinome, who was in the arms of a slowly stepping and spinning deep blue and orange tank bot with back treads, Comparm.
=We found some friends to dance with for the moment, don't worry about us, we'll join you elders in three songs' time if that's all right= Sideswipe messaged to us elders and his siblings.
=Sure, have fun, see you soon!= Lancer messaged back.
The rest of us reacted to her message with emotes of an open bright blue spark that tallied up under the message that I perceived in my mind's optic, since I left receiving imagery from the bots I was currently talking to enabled.
=Hey, we can do a friendship dance after we've had a full song along our other relationships= Chromia messaged to just us older folks. =I figure people would like to get that out before the sparring comes up.=
=I agree! As usual, Chromia is a good barometer for conjunxic sentiment, very smelted,= Anode quipped/
I footnoted her message with a gesture emote of a car rolling in circles- doing energots, or as many humans and some other organic persons call it, doing donuts. My friends and loved ones replied the same along with messages of concurring, to which Chromia replied with a looping image of her waving hands and smiling, bashfully with her nearly shut optics. I smirked and stowed the messaging system imagery away in my databanks.
=Will you three be okay, single siblings?= Windblade asked.
=We'll be fine-- = Flamewar conveyed back. =Hot Rod already asked Firestar if she'd want to dance and I'm in the middle of catching up with Discharge, Galvatron's talking with Dynobot, you know, Nautica's diplomat friends. Don't worry.=
=Arcee, we three will get in a dance later, maybe at dawn or in the morning, if you'd like that= Lug wrote to me and Anode specifically.
=I would like that, very much, Amicas of my spark= my circuits shot off with warmth.
Broad and blocky shades of green and white Greenlight advanced towards a more sparsely populated spot, and I went along, Aileron holding on to me, Lancer on my right side, and we stopped short of our beloved linguist, who had started to step about in a triangular pattern, arms extended to us. Aileron and Lancer each grabbed a hand, and I grabbed on to the engineer's other hand, and we joined Greenlight's three-lined tide of leg pairs.
"How do you feel about some snug and close dancing on the next song?" She asked. "I messaged Trinome asking for Wisdom's Huddled Respite, and they said they'd be happy to play that next."
"Oh, I'd love that!" My spark burgeoned in smitten strength, and my module processed that Daniel's heartbeat had accelerated as well. "That's a good choice for today. Should we try doing a delta passage dance?" I closed my optics and swayed afoot while Aileron and Lancer affirmed that they were enthusiastic about the idea.
"I'm glad, dears, and I concur" Greenlight whispered, and we were quiet for the next two minutes. We had said so much to each other even in the last thousand orbit cycles when Lancer joined us, that the appreciated time together without needing to fill it with verbal communication had some frequency. So, I enjoyed it as much as I loved our thoughtfulness expressed in a free and outspoken manner. Simply attuned to the steps, the handholding, feeling poised and calm, consciously diving into our melody. Thoughts would rise of missing my dear friend Sideswipe, of my human siblings, mother, and father all from Daniel's side of the family long gone, of wars and intellectual disputes over whether to live embracing who we are or attempt to suppress it. I let the thoughts come and go pass, for now, by acknowledging they were there, and focusing on the love in the present, which for the part of deceased loved ones, I knew they would want.
Then the song ended, and Wisdom's Huddled Respite started with high fluted notes and slowly dilating and echoed synth strings, slower than my favorite genre of music, but still fiery and warm in a different way. Lyrics broke out from a single singer whose pitch changed with each verse, waxing and waning about holding each other gently with all our might, of dancing paths meeting for a time, sharing fuel, passing thoughts, and care for one another.
In that methodically slow beat, our triangular pattern stopped. I opened my optics, and let go of Aileron's hand. We four started to step as our pairs around the other pair, turning in a full circle, and then Greenlight and I raised Aileron and Lancer's held hands, gently moving our own holding palms in a circle to let the two spin around. Lancer clasped arms around me and Aileron around Greenlight, before stepping back to sway with us, hips and swinging widely side to side at a moderate pace kept with a flurry of sidesteps. Aileron and I matched the two seamlessly, but I nonetheless felt a bit flustered by all of it by the time Lancer grabbed my left hand on her waist and raised it to spin me around, and then I stepped towards Aileron, and we repeated the moves; circle stepping, spinning, holding one another while swinging together, and spinning once more.
By the time I got back to Lancer, having felt Aileron and Greenlight around and with me, the four of us so assuring and attentive to each other, my circuits and nerves were abuzz with excitement, and my mind was aflutter and revving with how deeply I loved them, feeling the self-reinforcing buildup of such feelings lived out over and over between us. I would have tried to make out with them right then and there were I not self-conscious only because I was not enthusiastic about my mentees and pupils seeing me doing so.
Instead, as the song reached its last lines of notes, I leaned over to smooch Greenlight's lips but once, briefly, and put my arms around Aileron's shoulders and Lancer's back, leaving my head leaning forwards.
The three joined me in a hug, and we merely danced very slowly, inclining our frames as we stepped around. My mind reminded me there was an upcoming treaty for the kind of cause Sideswipe had died for, and for me, and I knew us four would do the same for each other, to live and die for each other and our loved ones, for our world or merely a single life.
"I love you all so much, so, so- very much, I-, I-" stammering poured out of me, not very typical, but I felt the weight of future ahead. "I just wanted to say I'm so glad, for our time together. I want to hold onto it as long as I can."
"We feel the same," Aileron rubbed my lower back. "You're all counterparts of my soul. I ring and rocket so merrily, because of you, and am bolstered by you when sorrow overshadows me."
"We'll be together through all that is ahead," Lancer murmured. "No matter how far apart. We will be, our family, for all the time we can. I may not be as experienced, but if I must take up the blade, I will, for our and the worlds' sake, just as we all strive to build peace instead."
"That sounds like a good note to suggest that maybe we should finally do Conjunxship commitment vows," Greenlight chuckled. "It would seem appropriate to do so soon, to declare how we feel in a ritualistic way."
"I agree," Aileron, Lancer, and I responded simultaneously, and the four of us had wry grins after.
One kiss ended up exchanged between each of us, merely lips meeting lips, not nestling around each other in opening and closing motions, and then we stood apart, a few moments of the song left.
Velocity sidled up to us, our friends behind her, along with gold and brown claw limbed and blue faced Dynobot, short, angular and thick limbed Discharge of red, teal and silver, and rounded in bulkiness wheel-bearing Firestar of red, light gray, and yellow.
Our teal doctor pal's mouth was turned upwards at its edges, and she opened it to ask: "You all ready for a band turning? That's we had in mind."
"That'd be lovely," Aileron stepped out of our clump, hand extended, and I found her and Lancer's hands once more, as Greenlight grabbed onto Lancer and strode towards Lug, who reached out and held with her. A long oval of joined hands formed, and we stepped back and forth in alternation with each turn, at first clockwise in tune to current song that rang with classical symphonies of a grand host of instruments through from chimes to harps. On each full pause between notes, we would change directions, and slowly picked up pace as we got used to each other's movements, reaching a near jog before beginning to slow down again.
Tides of speeding frames, back and forth, knowing and opensouled.
When the song came to a clanging stop, we let go, laughing in joyousness, looking fondly at each other, and were joined by our mentees. Gauge and Sideswipe came up to me and whispered in my right audial bun, and I nodded, and messaged the bots around me asking if they could make room while Gauge told the rest of us what she had in mind while horns began to sound with a quartet singing about a highway of tomorrows.
The other dancing bots stepped back more than a bit, with murmurings about familial gestures. What family I had gathered here transformed, all of us running, rolling, or hovering about in a circular pattern, save for two; Lug, who sat in her backpack form atop of Anode's jet biplane mode, and Rung whose long energon-forge anvil shape lay across Velocity's heavy automobile mode. Slowly, the circle became a swirl, all of us moving at the lowest possible speeds, Windblade, Anode, and Nautica's turbines roaring, and then we reversed the swirl into a near mobius strip shape, the head of us, Gauge, overshooting the middle so to instead move past Hot Rod. When the cycle was about to repeat, we transformed once more, dancing in pairs and one group of three, moving around each other in the manner of wayward comets or electrons. By this point, a larger circle had formed around us of people who had been dancing, looking on with cheers and whispers.
I had ended up holding robust purple and turbine finned Nautica and Trypticon's drone body around their waists whilst we sashayed, and inclined my head to the left side a little. "So, tell me, If I had told you two your lives would turn out this way back when you were a 100,000 each, would you have believed me?"
The two guffawed at my statement.
"Oh no, I don't think I would have," Nautica shook her head. "Some of this was beyond my wildest dreams, honestly. All the questing and interpolity service official work, the lovely best friends who ended up in my life, raising bots with dear Trypticon here, no, this wasn't expected, but I sought out doing what my spark dreamed, that much I hoped for, to do a little good in this life."
She really is very attuned to the existential, huh? It just radiates in a fabulous way off of her, Daniel thought to me.
Among the many things some of you humans somewhat inaccurately called queer on first contact with us, yes? I laughed internally. Nice job avoiding the word, though it's a wonder you didn't say plasmemic because of me.
Yes well, I do have some sort of vocabulary that isn't just categorical classification, thank you very much, both because of you and my life on Gliese Exiom in the 2800s before I met you, but knowing you has been something amazing. Daniel returned the glee before his thoughts rejoined mine.
"Eloquent, very eloquent, Nautica -[negotiator of mirth and hope]-," Trypticon's drone snout yammered. "No, Arcee -[ancient vanguard of closure and reimagining]- , I did not expect -[calculated route gamma 40b ingot]- to be my future, for better and worse. Better, at least, in that my journey through the stars and hosting delegations has been a beautiful one, and I did not fully comprehend that -[found family]- would be so large for me, and you have all added to it in ways I will never forget. Did you expect this would happen?"
"No, no I didn't. There's so much I didn't expect…" my laughter became vocal. "I thought faunology and teaching would suffice, but no, my life had to change, and that was just the start of everything that led here, to this moment. I'm glad for it, for you." I stood apart as the music began to slow. "Now, if you'll excuse me dears, I have a spar coming up with Geckobot and Trans-Mutate, and need to make sure my practice swords are set to not be sharp."
"Hey, of course!" Nautica winked. "You've got this, love."
I pressed two my yellow-orange solid light front guarded straight sabers against a block of metal on the table in front of me under the window one more time. I could feel the pressure from the blades up against the block, rather than cutting through. On some occasions, such as mourning someone's death, very careful training with another person or myself, or when I intended to hurt someone rather badly, I actually preferred to use my fierier thermal sabers, but solid light was fine for an occasion where only a bludgeoning wound could be caused. Which we would try to avoid anyway.
Gripping the hilts in hand, I turned around, and walked to the front of the solid metal plate aluminum fireplace that growled and murmured with magnesium-lit flames. Once I got there, getting through the crowd across this wide hall, I saluted my fellow fighters, by raising my right blade over my left arm, in my case, having the blade sit past it and beside my left back stack. In front of me stood Trans-Mutate, a teal and beige red optic three crested motorcycle bot barely taller than my legs. She, a historian, was gripping two forearm blades that also were solid light projectors, hers being blue, one across the chest returning the gesture I gave. At six meters in height was Geckobot, a dark aquamarine sturdily broad soldier with deep pink leg fins and back wings, green optics meeting me, their arming swords deep pink, one past the shoulder as I had done.
The festival goers sat and stood around us, still save for little murmurings. The day had been full of celebrant artmaking and peaceful activities prior. Now came the violent thing that I knew so well both because I loved the practice of it in trust and care, because I did not like the idea of someone hateful being more prepared for it than myself or the myriad cause of goodness in mutual reciprocity I grew up in and had done so much for, having taught, learned, healed, fought, led, loved, and written for.
One other stood amongst us not in the crowd, a very curvaceous, white and gold layer plate armored forge-anvil transformer who stood much taller than me the, holding an almost as tall hammer staff, a red metal thread cape flowing under shoulder-back slope ridged with triangular rods. Ember, one of this Temple's Sage of Flame.
Her large yellow optics of red and gold helmed face fell on me, Geckobot, and Trans-Mutate in turn before she addressed the crowd, "Tonight, gathered celebrants and observers, on this Solar Cycle of Multiflame, I humbly sanction a bout of ritually declared combat. May flames keep you warm and guide you, fighting flames, in using your skill without causing permanent harm. To the first blow landed on the frame, no more, no less, to remove one from the bout. I leave the rest of cindering words to you, you know your part and history that precedes you, dear flames, hearths of the AllSpark."
She tapped the small end of her hammer staff to the floor, and backed away into the audience, facing us, including with her central yellow-gold circular light on rounded chest, that housed behind light not just the rare capacity to not just shape and forge energon into cybermatter but also to project a fusion beam that easily rivalled our military's smaller artillery pieces. A beam that had overwatched for me in the last war, whose user I had shared many a drink with and huddled alongside when exhausted on the field. A trusted friend, who like Aileron had some different ideas about spirituality than my atheist self.
I saluted her with my sabers, and she bumped her hammer wielding fist to her chest. Now it was my turn. The only nice thing about my brain module having returned to blurry difficulties is that it was easy not to think about them.
Part me wanted to curl up and cry at having so many pieces of the puzzle for our next steps for happiness together, but didn't know what to make them, even though I would have before the war. But I let that slide away with ease by focusing on the now that shapes the future- that's part of it. Remember that for later.
"I, as a sage flame," I declared.
"I, as a defending flame," Geckobot uttered.
"And I, as a chronicling flame," Trans-Mutate stated.
"On this Day of Multiflame," we three said as one. "We celebrate the spirit of Flame, we of different metaethical views regarding or beside the Flame, of different roaring fires of life, join together to meet our strengths, and learn, to dance in thick of vigor and wisdom of knowing what we do not know and our own reluctant flames of violence, that we may avoid as much as we can without sacrificing pluralistic cause and simple protecting of life drawing on the latter." Our voices were loud, and solemn, no shouting, merely enunciating. "Flames meet here today, not to consume one another, but to enrich one each other with the warmth of knowing, and dedication of trust. Such is our warriors vow, back to the end of our ninth millennium of our life on Cybertron, when cause errant was needed against the first eruptions of all-consuming flame. In the name of Manyforge, we from indeterminist, to atheist, to theist do in this spirit join in common cause to spar for our admiration for one another!"
And we fell silent, except for our steps ten meters apart, and blades angled forward. Geckobot had theirs in front of them, while I angled myself sideways, right blade over my head and the other jutting in front, while Trans-Mutate brought her forearm knives up to her face in a front stance. The three of us began to circle one another with slight steps and hops.
I knew Trans-Mutate's choice of weapons would require her to join distance the most of the three of us, and I knew from teaching her ways of the blade over the last twenty-three thousand orbit cycles that she was fast, very fast, and extremely agile. Geckobot could afford to keep more distance, and had a reputation for being sly, not relying on any single martial form, easily moving between them like myself and our mutual opponent. All of us including myself were students of the branching strength alternation, a meta-theoretical view of combat and life at large I had helped found almost eight hundred millennia ago. It proposed drawing on and reassembling many different practices or 'tools' with commonality or symbiosis as one as contextually needed, letting our approach transform with us and us in turn.
So, I considered my opening, not by cluttering myself with prominent bodyless thoughts, but feeling, assessing, moving, and eventually committing, while having a variety of responses and considerations on the edge of my mind, at the ready. Practice and study of Durathia's breakthrough, Solus's balance, avante-garde klissvrax jabberost, slice compendium, and hundreds more and my own unique combat experience across my long life were poised.
I leapt forward to the right, aiming to feint towards Trans-Mutate. I swung downward with my right saber, bringing my left saber closer to my head.
Trans-Mutate dodged into the false blow, sliding underneath, while I quickly changed the swing's direction from left to right, and simultaneously brought my left sword to bear towards her in a lunge.
Cut off, she blocked the blow with my stabbing and slashing sabers, with one arm blade each, and was knocked back by the force, landing in a kneel on the floor.
I mirrored her fall deliberately, for Geckobot had wasted no time in advancing, and struck at me with both cutlasses towards where my left arm had been barely a second ago. Geckobot now was in the middle.
They attempted to scamper back as Trans-Mutate and I leapt forwards. I used a button press on my left saber's hilt to lower the blade length to that of a knife, while cutting rightwards towards Geckobot's right arm, my right blade striking overhead towards their right shoulder. Trans-Mutate dived down aiming both of her knives at Geckobot's left leg.
Geckobot soared up and backwards, using their wings to fly, bringing both of their blades to meet mine while tucking their legs in- and then stepped down onto the floor after a resounding thud from Trans-Mutate tossing their right arm-blade at Geckobot's legs. Geckobot nodded, and stepped back, sitting down, waiting to see how the rest of the match would play out.
Trans-Mutate and I stood perfectly still. She was in swiping range, but had the choice to slash at me next or run for her blade that sat on the floor. Or-
Trans-Mutate instead ran in the direction that was least perceived threat, to the right of and away from me, and I barreled after her, bringing my left blade back to saber length.
I skidded across the floor, ducking down to reduce my target profile and swing distance, and slashed with right blade in her direction upwards from the side, my left blade swiping downward.
The most emulative and inventive student of war I had had outside of my loved ones transformed and rolled away under my blades, heading for her fallen arm-blade, as I had expected.
My downward slash with my left blade became a sideswept toss, the yellow-orange solid light blade spinning towards her back wheel- and parried mid-transformation while I ran after her, diving to grab my fallen sword while keeping my right saber in front of me- and experiencing a flurry upwards punches bringing her knives to bear on me, that I hastily blocked with all my speed while backing away.
Until an opening in her attacks was spotted, and I swiped around and hitting her left leg, in the same instant that she brought turned a knife around in her hand, brought it to sword length, and struck my right arm.
We both stepped apart.
Hearing Geckobot clapping, and seeing Transmutate's wide grin while cheers broke out, I laughed. "Well done, both of you." I inclined my head and then roared "And so in these last two blows landed the sage flame is succeeded by her students, a victory for all in one! 'Till all are one!" It was a tie, but the less experienced having advantage on ties was my rule. Of course, landing a blow without getting hit oneself was better.
"'Till all are one!" We yelled, and she deactivated and tucked her blades onto my hips to leap up and hug me, and I deactivated mine, letting the hilts magnetically couple to my outer thigh armor plating, and held her in one arm, while Geckobot walked over and joined the embrace.
After a moment, I let the two go. "You two make me so proud; you know that?" I felt a little droplet of energon byproduct fall from my right optic, streaming down my face. "You both handled yourselves admirably, and I know you don't have to lecture you on anything."
"Well, of the three of us, Trans-Mutate did the best with improvising and being unexpected," Geckobot's short-beaked green optic face chattered. "We still can't best your form, though."
"Form isn't everything, dear Geckobot," I smiled. "But you are right, Trans-Mutate branched iteratively extremely well."
"Yeah, I just, moved with the needs, I saw openings and took them when it felt right, I dunno how to phrase it," Trans-Mutate's shoulder armor flapped excitedly. "Gods, I've been doing this for nearly twenty-five thousand orbit cycles, and still left a loss for words at times…"
"That'll stay with you, trust me, I know," I patted her head with my hand, landing behind her tallest crest. "It's saved my life a lot, as I know it has for both of you."
"You know that is an 'I'm genuinely proud of you even though I'm pretty frank so when I say I'm proud of you I almost always mean it,' from Arcee when she says that you did something that in her wheels saved her life when she did it," Geckobot nuzzled their face up on Trans-Mutate's and lightly nibbled on their crest. The darlings of the stories and sword, we called the two.
"Aw, beloved Conjunx, you're right," Trans-Mutate scritch-scratched under Geckobot's chin, and she chuckled when they squawked from such. "It's time to celebrate the passed on, right?"
"It is, dears, stay if you like," I stretched out my hand as I walked away to sit by the fireplace, criss-crossed. "Or join ones you love you came with."
"It's just us this orbit, we'll join you," Geckobot stood up and found Trans-Mutate's hand in theirs, and walked up towards me, while Gauge and Sideswipe sat down by my left thigh, and Aileron, Lancer and Greenlight sat around them after embracing me and nuzzling heads. Our friends gathered around this fire, among the many hearths about that people gathered around.
Ha, hearths about, there are many two-fold here tonight. There always are, by definition, unless the place only has a few people or is empty. Daniel mused.
True enough, dear gal, I sent some thoughts of embraces his way, and felt her battle tensed body relax. I'm really glad you enjoy this kind of language as much as I do. Thanks for watching my back in there.
Yeah of course! We're both peaceful teachers and students of war, Arcee. One of the larger paradoxes of our lives. We'll think on that more soon, way this night is going…
"Arcee, you start, dear." Rung sat opposite of me, Admira in his arms, spectacles put away, electric blue optics with reflections of dancing flames upon them. "It's your orbit cycle to start this."
"Right…" I closed my optics for a moment. "There is much that I miss but have accepted the passing of, I miss Gallium and Feldspar, the two construction and repair laborer trans zoomdare mentors who raised me, I miss the Witwicky's I knew, Carly, Spike, and his parents Sparkplug and Cathode, who I was raised by. I miss Buster, Butch, and Nancy, my human siblings… And I miss Llyra, who I fell in love with and share so much with, and I miss Galen and Olin, who we adopted and looked after, who I'm so proud of, and so many more... It's been over seven hundred thousand years since I saw any of my first organic family I spent my first few millennia with," I started to shiver. "Without Arcee, without her, it's hard for me to remember-" I buried my head in my hands, and sobbed. This was hurting more than usual, and I knew why. "-to even remember what they look like, how they sounded, how they felt!"
My sensors finally let loose for the day as they had every day for the last megacycle, my shoulders and ankles seared with stinging pain, erroneous tactile sensor readings feeding my brain module conflicting data of cruising with my wheels to the ground, falling from the sky, running sword and dagger in hand, plasma rounds tearing through my waist, the rounded chest, helm, and back stacks I loved so much ached as if melting. All the while I clung desperately to the thought and vague sense that…
Gauge was holding my hand, squeezing in a dot dash pattern, saying I love you. I love you both. So very much. I wouldn't be who I am so happily were it not for you. Sideswipe's right hand sat on my knee, Galvatron laid one of his hands on my shoulder, Anode and Lug one each on my quaking back stacks, and my beloved Conjunxes to be curled around me, heads dipped on my frame.
"Thank you, dears, I love you all, so very much…" I gulped, and listened to my cycling circuits and my heartbeat, letting both slow. "I miss them. I wish, I wish they could have met you, Gauge and Sideswipe, and you six, Admira, Eulogian, Centrifuge, Solidstate, Lamander, and Basalt. And I, I miss the older Sideswipe, too…"
An intense recollection cropped up, of plasma bolts volleying back and forth in the ruins of Iacon, of holding a big silver white and mostly red bulky and boxy body in my arms bleeding bright pink blood all over my sprinting legs out of a gaping hole right through to the spine. Of a two stub-horned single crest black helmed white face looking up at me from the end of the spine, smiling somehow, bright blue optics slowly burning out as he coughed out, all those years ago "Your complexities and those that we fight for might be beyond me, but I know they are good, good enough to die and live for beyond just life safeguarding life, Amica Endura—Give, give my regards to Anode and Lug—urk—tell they need to take care of- yu…"
Daniel tugged my mind away in present from my actions that bordered on slaughter, that had occurred immediately after I set Sideswipe down in the hands of an orange white van medic by the name of Ratchet. Of me leading the offensive personally through a small mountain ranges' worth in mass of drones pouring out of and guarding the tunnels to the megapolis sized brain module of a crashed Unicron. A Unicron who was trying to tear our beloved Cybertron apart with point blank capital ship scale mass bombardment that dwarfed our largest fleet's capacity to belch out, a bombardment my battalion ended by riveting the brain with railgun rounds. Flowing into that kind of rage was not a place I wanted to be right now.
"I… think this all hurts so much right now because… humanity and their Anarchaeum of Stars have grown so much and been a fast friend to both the Nebulan Federation and to our Planetwell Polity Alliance… I was so sad when the Cosmopolity eschewed the PPA from its number, but the human and nebulan originated countries have been among those who argued so valiantly for our return… and that is so near, yet, it feels so far. I've done this dance before. Been in a dozen wars, five times that amount of peace and friendship talks. This doesn't feel like it'll be over, and so, I miss… I miss when we mostly had peace for such a long time… But, I have hope, and that's enough besides the love we share." I looked over at everyone, one by one, and squeezed Gauge's hand back saying I am so proud of you and Sideswipe, you shine so brightly in my life, which I also conveyed to Sideswipe by comms messaging, and his hand relaxed on my knee.
"There are happier things that have passed on that I wish to celebrate today… Even though it has been with me for so long as a part of my life, I am deeply glad to know my transness and to live it, to have left behind the idea that I was launch. To actuate past the initial launching per se, to do away with the notion of woosh-how being a good name for my actual assembled gend- sparktion for me, or as Camiens say, one's hearth. To have figured out being zoomdare with Anode and Lug in our second century, to try signifiers like pronouns and play with our sounds as our ancestors did… To have talked with each other and drawn and designed until we were ready to ask some metallurgists and surgeons to make the exterior frame, superstructure, and parts we wanted, with the primary surgeon being my grand-mentor Solus. To go offline surrounded by friends and family, waking up aching all over hours later for weeks. Aching, but so so glad, and to journey through life thereafter, leaving that previous part of our life behind… I am so glad."
My wet face chuckled when Anode and Lug laid their heads on my left shoulder and between my back stacks respectively to plop a kiss each while rubbing my back, drawing me back into the cruising curiosity and hope in myself, of sensors and mind rejoicing from movement and touch. Of feeling whole, in the present moment, the vastness of past and present lives known to me and future imagined ones dancing about under starlight where I felt at home. To not have to always ask why about myself, anymore, knowing I could not answer all of it, and happy with answers I had, but nonetheless still curious, happily finding answers when I had not expected more. A journey made so special by all of you, and the gestalt of myself.
"And… Daniel. Daniel, like me, found a new self, but she did that through me- I think xey want to speak on this a bit-" I closed my optics, feeling Daniel trying to find words.
"I um, as some of you know, when I agreed to binary bond with Arcee, neither of us quite expected what was going to happen. Sure, it was beautiful and amazing to share knowledge and thoughts, but it was also harder than we had thought it would be, since it turned out what I thought was my gender and her realized sparktuation did not jive very well, it was dysphoric for her, and for me… Well- being constantly connected to the battle wizened, vivacious, and intrepid sleek behemoth that is Arcee… Well, she or as she has chosen in Wrexvari, a descendant language of my human tongue, <xey>-" for just the pronoun, I switched to the language, and then went back to Eclipse Cybex. "-Um, dragged some femmeness and xenogender realizations out of me, that accompanied my maleness in a trigender fashion. Really, to think that it took an ancient alien robot for me to figure this out," I laughed, and so did those dear to me sitting around, listening.
"The xenogender bit though is from the unique position that I was in by being her to also know what being a zoomdare was like, and the femmeness from connecting across aesthetic systems with her without treating her assemblage and mine as synonymous or replaceable, merely with some commonalities. So… I too said goodbye, to a smaller view of the world by joining the vast library that is her mind, and my single gender that was once so lonely, now happily at home with four; two more mine, and one sparktion hers. Needless to say, when we're joined most of what I feel is hers, not mine…" almost bleating laughter erupted around us.
"We made some mental space of subconscious thought, she has her circuit for those things, and I have mine, but unlike her with mine, I have no problems spending months at a time in her aesthetic narrative." The older folks knew all this save for those three who I didn't know so well, Dynobot, Discharge, and Firestar. The young ones, who I hadn't explained how difficult my binary bonding had been, only the happy results, stared with optics almost perfectly round.
Spark's sake, how did you figure out I was so easy to cheer up, with this?
Arcee sweetie, I kind of knew after you wrote that book about the significance of aesthetic transformation to transformer life and that of the Cosmopolity, you dork. I mean come on, the title, Varied Transformations and their Harmonies. It's full of wordplay. More than meets the eye to that…
Ugh. You're not wrong, dork. You helped me write that, you know.
Happily so!
"Who'd like to go next?" I asked. "I'm all out for tonight, between Daniel and I, I think. And I went overtime…" I held off from talking about Adaptus, because then I'd have to explain Epsilon, Signet, Oracle, Xyperia, and Berkin, and we'd decided to let Anode and Lug do that. But it didn't change that I missed those five terribly.
"I'd like to," Sideswipe spoke up. "Don't have as much to say, but I haven't lived quite so long and it's been mostly peaceful. Also, that was really lovely to hear, I will be happily late to anything today just to hear that."
I patted her rounded helm after leaning to kiss her there. "Go on, dear, that's very sweet of you to say."
"I want to celebrate… when I left my first attempt at work behind and went back to studying. It hadn't been the right thing yet, however long whatever the first right thing is ends up lasting for me, but fusion engineering just wasn't something spark was in. But, metallurgy and blacksmithing, I do like a lot, and am very glad for tutor Anode teaching me all she can about it when she's home…"
And so, this part of the night went on, laughing, crying, holding, assuring, speaking to parts of our stories, casting our flames, celebrating the past, for the present and future. I was content. I had a place, a job, a family, an alliance of ways of life that had survived so many travesties, with only the future and the strength of opposition in question, along with hanging questions about our origins.
