Votes Locked: ##### 3.19
[X] Have Petrus cast a Healing Miracle on the maimed Firekeeper as proof he doesn't deserve crotch punches. No. of votes: 4 NeverDies, Bondo, Ridiculously Average Guy, ILurk
[X] Dick Punch Simulator - The Punches Never End.
-[X] Dick punches for everyone. No. of votes: 1 Cornix Argentus
It does my heart good that you guys are trying to help Anastacia but your methods are questionable.
[X] Have Petrus cast a Healing Miracle on the maimed Firekeeper as proof he doesn't deserve crotch punches.
Chosen Undead: "...You're part of the Way Of White, right? ...I'll consider stopping if you heal the Fire Keeper with one of your miracles."
Petrus: "Oh, I'm afraid that's not possible. The healing of miracles cannot restore such age-old wounds that have already been sealed; if her wounds were more recent and fresh, then it would have been possible... Also, Clive, bless his soul, before he had disappeared, had certainly attempted to heal the Fire Keeper to no avail."
Oscar: "I see. I apologize for my companion's behavior." He turned towards you, "We have dawdled here long enough. It is time that we go."
A Wandering Soul: "You failed to do anything of importance with your time here at the Firelink Shrine."
You and Oscar passed through the waterway and continued forward while cutting down the Hollows that got into your way.
What a prick.
As you two crossed a bridge... A great beast of red dropped onto the bridge, talons digging into the side as the parapets were crushed, before flying away.
Oscar: "W-Was that a dragon? I thought they had all perished!"
After Oscar recomposed himself, you continued forward, cutting down more Hollows, before coming across a bonfire nestled inside of a tower. The two of you took a short break here.
You watched Oscar fill-up an emerald bottle with spooky-shifty-swirly stuff that glowed quite golden.
Oscar: "Oh, this? Tis an Estus Flask, an Undead favorite; it is an invaluable tool for storing estus and keeping Undead like else invigorated. If you do not have one, it would be a good idea to take one or two from the Hollows that we have just slain."
You checked your inventory and... Surprise! You actually had one on you! Strange. Where did you get it? You don't remember. You feel like you given it back at the Northern Undead Asylum a very long time ago...
Anyways, it didn't hurt to grab a few more, so you went outside to strip the ragged Hollows of this valuable.
[ ] Continue - That's enough rest. Further into the Undead Burg now.
[ ] Clean House - There's these two Hollow Spearmen off to the side that could use some more dying.
A Wandering Soul: "Did I say you failed to do anything? Not entirely true. You managed to put the Crestfallen Warrior on Petrus's shit-list."
A Wandering Soul: "Since I don't have really budget to make an in-depth analysis. I'm just going to glean the Dark Souls Wikia for stats."
(Health) Crestfallen Warrior > Petrus
(Damage) Crestfallen Warrior > Petrus
(Armor) Crestfallen Warrior > Petrus
(Stability) Petrus > Crestfallen Warrior
(Spells) Petrus > Crestfallen Warrior
(Bleed) Petrus > Crestfallen Warrior
(Surprise) Petrus > Crestfallen Warrior
A Wandering Soul: "Well, simple enough, I roll a D7. 1, 3, 5, and 7 is Petrus wins; 2, 4, and 6 are the Crestfallen Warrior's win."
A Wandering Soul: "I rolled a 2. This turned out better than I expected!"
After the Chosen Undead and Oscar of Astora left Firelink Shrine, Petrus began to plot the demise of the Crestfallen Warrior, for that man was a bit too chatty...
Petrus attempted to sneak-up on the Crestfallen Warrior, but his armor was just too clunky.
Crestfallen Warrior: "What do you think you're doing? Shifting about back there, hmm?"
The Crestfallen Warrior was not fooled for a second. He damn well knew what Petrus wanted. He got up from his seat and brought sword-and-shield to bare.
Petrus had thought to come-up with a lie but quickly backed away, a tad too cowardly to take the initiative, as he realized that was no point in trying to fool the Crestfallen Warrior.
Crestfallen Warrior: "You know, I didn't give a rat's ass about what you did, so long as you stayed away from me... Let me tell you this: you aren't the first crook to try and you won't be the last that gets bent!"
The Crestfallen Warrior attacked.
A Wandering Soul: "No budget to describe the fight in detail or even make an attempt at it."
The Crestfallen Warrior pulled his blade out of Petrus, taking away all of his precious Humanity, keeping the Crestfallen Warrior a little more sane for a little more longer.
He then rolled Petrus off a cliff, making sure that if the man become Hollow, he wouldn't be coming back forever as a nuisance.
Crestfallen Warrior: "If there's one thing I never liked, it's mushroom."
Admittedly, while I don't like the Crestfallen Warrior in the game, he's narratively fun to play around with. So if he had died in this quest, I would have been pretty sad.
I mean, all he does is sit around at Firelink Shrine, which is the hub-center, so he simply has just a lot of shit to comment about, despite being 'not up for chatting'. What a tsundere!
We punched him in the dick because he deserved it.
And, y'know. Dick-punches.
Rhea will probably end up waiting in that little alcove for a while for Petrus to show up. We may be able to meet her.
Least this time she won't lose everything. Maybe.
Votes Locked: ##### 3.19
[X] Clean House - There's these two Hollow Spearmen off to the side that could use some more dying. No. of votes: 3 Bondo, ILurk, Slayers148
[X]Clean House
-[X]Two hand your sword to break their stance. No. of votes: 1 Larekko12
[X]Clean House
-[X]Kick them until they die. No. of votes: 1 Nanimani
If I recall correctly, in-game, killing Petrus before the Thorolund Group arrives makes them hostile. Somehow.
I'll be lenient and say that the Thorolund Group will be rather cold-shouldered without Petrus' introduction but Oscar's presence could make for a smooth initial-encounter.
There's rubble blocking off the way to the Graveyards and Catacombs, so whenever the Thorolund Group arrives, they'll have to take a short break from their journey, then maybe stall a few days waiting for Petrus and Clive, spend the next few days to clear-out the rubble, afterwards another short-break before actually setting-off. As long as you don't take too long, you should be back at Firelink Shrine pretty soo-
Oh, wait... You're not going to the Parish which has the lift that leads straight down to the Firelink Shrine? You're going to that hell-hole Blighttown? Hahahahaha! Good luck getting back-up in a timely manner!
[X] Clean House - There's these two Hollow Spearmen off to the side that could use some more dying.
You took a short detour and killed off two Hollow Spearmen just because you could. In the ensuing fight, due to rolling unnecessary circles around those slowpokes, you destroyed loads of crates and barrels. Surprisingly, this revealed a stairway that led downwards.
Since you were already here, you might as well go down.
A Hollow tried to your surprise you by bursting out of the closet but it was quickly dealt with.
Moving out onto the balcony, you saw a rather ragged and dried-out man. He looked practically hollow but it doesn't seem that he had yet fallen to utter madness.
Not a mummy.
Undead Merchant: "Well, now... You seem to have your wits about you, hmm? Then you are a welcome customer! I trade for souls. Everything's for sale! Nee hee hee hee hee!"
A Wandering Soul: "No budget to keep track of your currency. So let's just say that you have a moderate amount."
His wares weren't that impressive.
The only thing of real interest were the Throwing Knives, the Firebombs, or the Short Bow.
[ ] Buy - Stocking up.
-[ ] What?
[ ] Keep Going - To Blighttown we go!
[ ] Inquire - Does he have anything interesting to say?
You say this. As if we thought this through. At all.
But yeah, probably could have gotten a miracle or two. Especially with that free talisman under the lift.
[X] Buy - Stocking up.
-[X] 10 Firebombs
[X] Inquire - Does he have anything interesting to say?
-[X] Any monsters we should worry about?
-[X] What's up with that sword in the box?
Votes Locked: ##### 3.19
[X] Point out his katana. No. of votes: 1 Nanimani
[X] Buy - Stocking up.
-[X] 10 Firebombs
[X] Inquire - Does he have anything interesting to say?
-[X] Any monsters we should worry about?
-[X] What's up with that sword in the box? No. of votes: 2 Cornix Argentus, Bondo
-[X] 10 Firebombs
[X] Inquire - Does he have anything interesting to say?
-[X] Any monsters we should worry about?
-[X] What's up with that sword in the box? No. of votes: 1 Slayers148
[X]Buy Shortbow and 100 Arrows.
[X] Inquire - Does he have anything interesting to say?
-[X] Any monsters we should worry about?
-[X] What's up with that sword in the box? No. of votes: 1 Larekko12
[X] Inquire - Does he have anything interesting to say?
-[X] Any monsters we should worry about?
-[X] What's up with that sword in the box?
You bought 10 Firebombs!
Undead Merchant: "Thank you kindly. Nee hee hee hee!"
What are you buying? What are you selling?
Chosen Undead: "...Heard anything interesting?"
Undead Merchant: "Interesting? No sir! Everybody is quite dead, so there's no gossip to be had around here. Nee hee hee hee hee!"
Chosen Undead: "...Any monsters?"
Undead Merchant: "Plenty of them. A horrible goat-demon stalks the lower burg; while up above, a bull-demon on the tower and a humongous drake by the Parish gate. If you stick around this place, it might end up being your grave! Nee hee hee hee hee!"
The drake must have been the supposed red-dragon that had surprised you and Oscar just earlier before; the Parish was where one of the bells could be found, but that was something you think about later. For now, you would have to go throw the Lower Undead Burg to get to Blighttown, so that goat-demon was a bit of worry...
Chosen Undead: "...What's with the sword in the box?"
Undead Merchant: "Ah, this one? Ain't she lovely? Her name is Yulia. She's plumb in love with me. You'd never leave my side, now would you, Yulia? And, you can forget it, don't even think about it. I'm all that she needs. Careful, she'll bite your little fingers off! Be kind, Yulia, be kind! Nee hee hee hee hee!"
You had nothing left to do, so it was time to move on. As you left, the Undead Merchant had one more thing to say.
Undead Merchant: "By the way, if you meet a rather sunny-fellow, tell him that I've got plenty more soapstones for him to buy now! Nee hee hee hee hee!"
Sunny Fellow? Now who could that be...?
DARK SOULS LOW BUDGET QUEST
You and Oscar pass through a very tight bridge while being bombarded by firebombs. It was annoying as heck.
Maybe you really should have bought a bow-and-arrow instead? Well, too late now, not enough souls to afford it.
You entered a room and quickly defeated the Hollows inside. A barred-door was destroyed in the fight. Oscar peeked through the doorway and noticed that the stairs led downwards.
Oscar: "This might be the path into the lower-areas of the burg. We should be able to find a way into Blighttown from here."
As you two went down and moved by the stairs, you were suddenly ambushed and surrounded!
You came into the wrong hood, Bitch.
Hollow Thieves (7) and Attack Dogs (5), they easily out numbered Oscar and you by a count of 12.
