Urchin Thrower.
The sport of kings and beggars, living and deadmen, of revolutionaries and anarchists- A sport that has been turned into a lucrative industry that oils the wheels of industry with less than metaphorical elbow grease, tears and raggedy things.
Despite several well-funded inquiries by journalists and historians, the actual origins of this activity are enshrouded in a thick air of mystique- Not helped by the fact it was birthed near the dockyards, a place inhabited by notoriously superstitious folks.
What we know for sure is that it was the invention of some groups of sailors, but that's more or less it. The actual reasons as of why and how one of those burly brutes made the connection "Urchin=Easily available projectile" are unknown, although some scholars have their own theories. A few from the Church of Our Overlasting Mother believe that the sailors had been told by one of the saints of the sea to dispose of tthose noxious urchins who kept trying to give watery funerals to their comrades, sullying the sacred waters.
Other scholars with a less religious outlook do accept that this activity may have been inspired by spirits, but they argue that it was a whole different and more profane kind of spirit.
What is known is that at one point the activity started being documented widely as it spread like wildfire from the dockyards to the factory quarters. Graffiti displaying tallies and impact craters still do the smokestack and chimneys of several docks, and what begun as a simple "Throw the urchin the furthest you can" kind of contest started maturating and differentiating.
We have several treaties and reported dialogues between sailors discussing alternative rulesets and possible additions- Such as weighing down urchins with lead, or picking ones who weighted less or dressed more airly in order to achieve heightened aerodynamics. There are also expansive talks of hit and run matches done using a coach and this or that monument, which may have lead to the Miracle of St. Eclaire- Although difficulties in removing the urchin from the crypt has made it hard to fully determine whether it is the case or not.
With the spread to the richer buroughs, things started getting political and social. Saloons and tea circules erupted nimated discussions about whether it was simply an infantile past time worth only of the lowest dregs of society, or some sort of twisted and impolite but earnest attempt to help society by the masses. Eventually the sport caught the eye of several newspapers, which started competing by publishing reports on matches and alternative rulesets authored by self-professed "researchers".
This is when the first urchin thrower squads were organized. Groups of strapping young lads would convene at pubs and social gatherings to engage in a jolly spot of orphan punting over a couple of beers, sharing score tallies and tips on throwing among themselves . Several teams did not make a mystery out of the fact that they came from the universities, or that they were the children of rich politicians slumming it up.
Thiks further stirred things up, and ccusations of appropiation were flung from the docks to the buroughs, and of indecency from the buroughs to the docks. Religious authorities stepped in at one point- Probably right after the local politicians, resulting in a volatile but invigorating cultural moment raising around this sport slash profession. Interest in orphanology picked up up steam, and soon academic interest arose. One of the texts that best exemplifies the thinking of this period is De Orfani Rerum, written by Chaplain Dubert.
In this seminal and controversial book, the good Chaplain tries to categorize different orphan types, and showcase how they could be best put to use in different situations. He also tackles the question of whether urchins have human souls or not, and how much they'd weigh. However, the centerpiece of this text is ne whole chapter dedicated to urchin throwing. Dubert does not hide his interest both anthropological and theological in the matter, and he in fact puts forth an "Ethical" ruleset for urchin throwing, complete with pre-match evaluation and baptizing the urchin preemptively for possible lethal throws.
Meanwhile, despite the best attempts by the now enlarged playerbase, the urchin population continued to exist- Even to thrive, in fact. Things
have arrived to the point that the various boroughs had instituted their own urchin thrower registries, with licenses being handled out at a penny each or with proof of a successful urchin throw, such as plasters of the impact crater or certificates from a throwing society umpire. Factory owners drafted squads of able-bodied youngsters to fend off gangs of ravenous pickpockets who would strip an automata clean in five minutes, and the more well off quarters organized routine urchin check-ups to identify possible infiltration points.
Matters weren0t helped by the recent urchin plague caused by the waves of rats, class warfare, rat plague, plain warfare, exploitation of the masses and rat wars that have erupted, creating a large amount of material-. This surplus also meant a higher than average incidence of measles, black plague and hearts growing three sizes.
That was enough for most to start seeing urchins as the true social malady they were. It was something on pair with Cathomics themselves, especially due to the little buggers' tendency to be adopted by spider-mothers, or their penchant to organize in gangs and attempt to overthrow the given order of things. Their natural predisposition towards panhandling, loitering, civil disobedience and the summoning of the forgotten gods made them perfect recruits for anarchists as well. That was a great cause of concern, especially when combined with the anarchists' penchant for bombings, using people as targeting beacons and highly scandalous dances capable of turning a whole courtyard of reserved schoolchildren into devils befitting the circles of Ghenna.
Eventually things came to a head with the Orphaned Winter of '42 and the John The Thrower case. The first one was a wave of anarchic bombings aimed at urchin thrower clubs- Which, combined with a particularly unforgiving winter, lead to many good people falling off their death into icicles.
The second is a case revolving a villain who would target urchin throwing aficianados, luring them to rooftops with the promise of particularly succulent throwing spots and then pushing them to their death- Or flinging them to their doom.
The Thrower has nowadays ascended to the ranks of the many many urban legends populating the foggy streets of this city- Mostly because he was never caught, despite the instution of mandatory rearguards for urchin thrower teams and copper patrols.
Speculation on the actual identity of the Thrower abounds up to this day. Some say he was a Bohemian far too in love with the concept of irony, and others propose that he was a jealous player who wanted more targets for himself- While others go as far to say that he was one of the first targets of urchin throwing, having grown into a resentful killer violently vying for vengeance. A few dejected anarchist scholars have even proposed that he was some sort of ritualistic avenger figure conjured by the urchin tribes to protect them in those dark times.
At this point, the central government had to take notice of all of this, and with the Long Arm Of The Law reform of 43' the urchin throwing streak of the city was channeled into the so-called Forced Kinetic Removal Of Orphaned Youths Corps.
Considered a department of the police, the FKROOYC drew his agents from a pool of screened candidates from all over the city. They were equipped with the best technological advancements money could buy, often directly lifted from the throwing clubs of the local engineering departments at the University.
The next year saw a massive decrease in urchin activity, right as a series of scandals rocked the sport. Several players were accused of purposefully starving the urchin to make it more easy to throw in official competitions, while lower leagues umpire revealed they had been bribed to replace perfectly functional urchins with the children of the pitchers themselves- Children which had been given precise instructions or had been tampered with, making them rule noncompliant.
However, this went hand in hand with innovation. Three urchin throwing dedicated stadiums were opened at once, and several orphanages started dedicating themselves to the raising of children that could act as a substitute for urchins in the sport. Purists wrinkle their nose at these recent developments, but the punting-hungry fans do not care- And neither do the socialists, as long as incidents of breaking and entering into schools or "punting raids" as they'd be called would be kept to a minimum.
There have been several technological advances of a marvelous quality in the field of orphantronics- Such as the Wesse & Sons Displacement Automata, a training and urchin disposal automata with a revolving cylinder mechanism for the reload of their pneumatic launch mechanisms. This has considerably cut down on time and expenses, although some are worried that this may further spell doom for a profession that is already dominated by the central government's corps.
But, doomed or not..
The long-armed arm of the roof-law, the orphan obliators, the guttersnipers and saloon sulliers are alll considered fast-burning fads that depend on the clemency of the current weather. They are sports tagat come and go seasonally, necessitating a large amount of monetary investments and learning complex, fickle rules to be played. Alternatively accused of being sports for the rich and for the poor. for the monarchist and the revolutionary, the dead and the living, those activities are often very polarizing.
Urchin throwing, on the other hand, is a fun activity that can be done all year round, requires very little in terms of access-level skills, and hinges on one of the truly renewable resources of the city. Urchin-throwing clubs have arisen by the dozens in every part of the metropolis, with hundreds of different rule-sets and additions that range from the ingenuously simple to the arcanely complex. Doctors and physicians are even starting to recommend it as an activity that can help with seasonal ills, and congressmen have already started extolling the virtues of this noble social activity- A true panacea for a society that has been getting a glut of beady eyes, asthmatic coughs, crutches and trembling hands reaching out for our purses.
So, please tell us about any struggles or inspirations you have had about professions in your creative endeavors.
