[X] Plan In Which Homura Will Definitely Not Run Into A Witch At The Mall
"I hope you don't mind me asking, but what exactly caused your defeat at Kobe last year?"
Your question catches the other members of the club off their guards, and each of your four teammates pauses what they're doing, as they put their equipment away at the end of practice, causing them to turn in your direction. "I've heard that the archery club has had a poor track record of late, but what made your defeat at Kobe so memorable? ... I don't mean to drag your loss in front of you; I honestly don't know the story."
"Honestly?" Mochizumi-san says. "We just really screwed up, badly."
"Kobe's bad; like, worse than us, bad," Suzuhara Daigo adds. "So, when we got matched up against them in the bracket to determine whether we'd go on to the next round, everyone had their money on us to finally win one."
"We went in so overconfident that we'd win," Tanaka Haruo thirds. "We didn't practice at all the week before, and every little screwup that one of us made the day of, we just shrugged it off and said 'It's just Kobe; we can afford to make one slip'. Well, one slip turned into all of us royally screwing up, because we got cocky and overestimated ourselves in the face of an opponent we didn't take seriously."
Kasuga-san nods his head, and with a "mhm" joins in with the others to say "So now, we've taken to using Kobe as a reminder of why we need to practice in the first place."
The round comes back to Mochizumi-san who ends things by saying "It's also just really funny how badly we screwed up." Your tanned classmate turns her head to Tanaka Haruo and says "I can't believe you almost shot the ref's ratty toupé off. Just a centimeter lower, too."
Tanaka Haruo smirks for Mochizumi-san, and says "What can I say? I'm just that good."
Mochizumi-san sticks her tongue out, returning fire with "Yeah, if only your luck with the girls were as good as your aim."
This always happens whenever you're around your fellow teammates; you're left feeling like you've walked into a story that's well into being told. Well, trying to rectify that is what you're hoping to get out of this outing, after all. There's no harm in asking one more question. "I hope you don't mind me asking," you say, primarily for Tanaka Haruo, but also to anyone else who might answer for him. "But... Well, how are you going about romancing girls if your efforts are that infamous. Again, I'm not trying to make you feel bad; I honestly don't know."
"You ever seen City Hunter?" Kasuga-san asks; you shake your head. You remembering hearing Kirika mention it as the name of an anime series she was fond of, but you've never seen it. "Well, when it comes to wooing the ladies, Haru here takes all his advice from the main character."
"I do not!" Tanaka Haruo exclaims. "Well, not all the time. I really tried the right way with Sora... I guess my reputation just preceded me."
You're not going to say anything. You don't know him well enough to feel comfortable with rubbing it in. "Well, let that be a lesson to cut that crap out if you really want to impress a lady." Fortunately, Mochizumi-san says it so you don't have to. "Now, what are we all standing around for? Come on, let's get this party started!"
"Wow, you're really good at this, aren't you?"
"Not really," you say to Mochizumi-san, setting down the controller as you resign yourself to another unavoidable game over. "It might be a fun distraction to watch me play, but I can never get over the boss." The boys had been watching you playing previously, but not too long ago they took off to have a go at the racing machines, leaving just you and Mochizumi-san by yourselves. Hardly chivalrous of them, you think. Leaving a pair of innocent young maidens alone and undefended in an arcade.
Who are you kidding? You're more of a threat than anyone who might try to harm you.
"Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" Mochizumi-san asks, sliding in close even though she doesn't have to; all three of your other party members are elsewhere, so there's no reason to keep things a secret. "So, yesterday, I saw Tomoe talking to some boys from her class. I know that blockhead Shin didn't see her, or we'd have all heard it by now, so I gotta ask- She and him... That's definitely not going to be a thing, right?"
You nod, saying "That's correct. Tomoe-san and I talked the other night, and she doesn't see herself being able to return Kasuga-san's romantic feelings." Flashing her a thumbs-up, you say "You're in the clear, just as soon as you decide to ask him out yourself."
"Geez, Akemi, you know I can't do that." You roll your eyes at Mochizumi-san's stubborn refusal to be her own best advocate. "A true gentleman has to be the one to approach his waiting lady, not the other way around. You know, chivalry, and courtly love, and all that fru-fru jazz we're reading about in our book."
"Yet you've been waiting how long, exactly?"
"Don't rub it in!" Mochizumi-san gives you a playful shove, not unlike Sayaka might do were she to find herself in a similar situation. But once she's done, Mochizumi-san turns away to look in the direction that the boys headed off in, and says "Besides, I'm not even his type. There's no way he'd notice some scrawny tomboy like me, not as long as there's a girl like Tomoe he's got his eyes on."
"Then let's make him take his eyes off Tomoe-san then, and make him see the perfectly good tomboy that's been by his side all this time."
"Yeah, and how do you propose we do that?"
"Simple." It's cruel, perhaps, what you're about to suggest; but you think it's better in the long run to turn Kasuga-san's attention away from someone who won't ever return his affections. "We make him ask Tomoe-san out, so he can hear for himself that she's not interested."
Mochizumi-san cracks a devious smile, again, not unlike Sayaka might, but it quickly fades when she asks "Will that actually work? I mean, he's had years to ask Tomoe out but he's never so much as said 'hi' to her. Are you sure we can get him to ask her out?"
"It never hurts to try." And here come the boys now; what perfect timing. "Hey!" you call out, and ask "Did you three enjoy yourselves?" Three heads nod as one.
"Would have enjoyed it more if this guy-" Suzuhara Daigo thumbs in the direction of a sheepish-looking Tanaka Haruo as he scratches the back of his head "-hadn't stolen the win out from under me, ya big cheater."
"hey, I told you; I know those racing machines inside and out. You were the one who decided to get cocky and 'give me a chance' ."
"At any rate," Kasuga-san says, ending the discussion before those two have the opportunity to turn this fun trip into a disfunctional one. "Did you two enjoy yourselves?" You and Mochizumi-san both nod your heads; you've enjoyed this chance to talk with her about things that aren't school-related, and being able to put Kasuga-san's foolish affections for a girl who can't return them behind him is just a nice bonus. "Glad to hear it. Say, we were thinking we'd go grab something to eat now; you two hungry, or do you want to stick around for a little longer?"
You look to Mochizumi-san; you don't need to eat, and you're in no rush to sit down to food court fare after a month of Archer's cooking, so you'll let Mochizumi-san decide. "Heck yeah! I'm starving!" She ignores it when Tanaka Haruo whispers to Suzuhara Daigo "Typical Mochi. She could eat an entire horse and still be hungry," and turns to you, asking "What about you, Akemi? You hungry?"
"Not particularly, but I don't mind getting something to eat if everyone else is."
"Great! How's international sound?"
International, of course, is the club's code word for mall food court fare; and today's sampler comes to you from China, Italy, and the United States. The table that your club-mates and you have chosen is piled high with dishes that could moderately be called Chinese, if they hadn't all been slathered in a variety of savoury sauces you're sure aren't authentic; pizza and pasta dishes that are probably closer to American than Italian; and burgers that are probably the most authentic to their country of origin out of everything selected. You aren't sure where to start, because everything before you looks more like a caricature of food than of actual food, and you aren't sure what would be the least offensive to your Archer-cultivated taste buds.
You decide that a burger would probably be the least offensive; you've had similar burgers at the school cafeteria, on the rare day when Archer hasn't made lunch for you, and it's inoffensive enough for your tastes. "You're always so quiet, Akemi," Kasuga-san says, in-between the seconds when he isn't shoveling something into his mouth. "Why don't you tell us about yourself? Why did you decide to join the archery club?"
You can't respond with your true answer, "To improve my skill with a bow so I can use it in combat against the monsters that stalk the city when night falls" so instead, you have to go with a decent cover. Based on what you've already said to Mochizumi-san in the past, "My adoptive father used to do archery when he was in high school. He got me interested in the sport, and I wanted to do something to make him proud of me," was probably your best bet. "What about you? How did you end up as the captain of the club?"
Kasuga-san shrugs, and responds with "I was the only one who wasn't graduating that year. I think if there had been anyone but me still in the club at the time, that Miho-sensei wouldn't have picked me. I mean, who would pick a seventh-year to captain a sports club if there was any other choice?"
"Well, I don't think you've done as bad a job as you think you have, all things considered. You took a club that consisted of only you, and managed to populate it with four other members; that's got to count for something, right?"
"I did the bare minimum expected of me. Whoopdie-freaking-do." Kasuga-san's tone is a sarcastic one; you can tell he doesn't mean what he's saying. "But no, seriously. I love all the crazy weirdos sitting at this table; without them, I'd be nothing. Especially you, Akemi- We're all counting on you to help bring us the gold this year so Haru and I can go out with a bang for our final season."
"Ah, but no pressure, okay?" Tanaka Haruo adds. "Winning would be nice, but we'd rather you enjoy yourself so that you, Mochi, and Daigo are able to find another pair of weirdos to replace us."
You nod; you aren't even worried about there being a season this year. Walpurgisnacht will see to that. "Well, since this is your last year, maybe you'll finally find the courage to speak up and tell Tomoe-san how you feel about her."
"Yeah!" Mochizumi-san adds, with a bit more enthusiasm than you would have liked; too much, and you fear Kasuga-san might suspect something. "It's rude to keep a lady waiting, you know; and you've been keeping her waiting far too long. It's high time you stopped being afraid of your own feelings and said something to her already."
"Well, when you put it like that..." Kasuga-san looks around the table for a way out of this confrontation you and Mochizumi-san have put on him, and he settles on "Hey, Daigo, how's your sister doing? Is she still in the hospital?" You want to believe that Kasuga-san isn't using Suzuhara Daigo's sister solely to get out of giving you and Mochizumi-san an answer.
"Nah, they let her out. She's still in a cast, but the doctor said she'll be walking again soon. I wish I could have been there when it happened, though. I'd have torn that jerk right off his stupid moped and made him pay her hospital bill."
"What hospital was your sister at?" you ask. "I was in the hospital recently myself, so I'm curious if I might have seen her there."
"Huh? When were you in?"
You don't want to say "My entire seventh year" for pointless pity points, so you say "I got out just before the start of the school year."
"Ah. You definitely didn't see her, then. This only just happened recently."
You nod, and fall silent as the other four members of your club talk among themselves, eating whatever international cuisine you can fit into your mouth.
[ ] Wat do?