[X] Enetious
"Jesus, Archer there must be millions here!" You hear Tohsaka Rin exclaiming as you open the door to your apartment. "Where'd you get it all?"
"Almost ten-million in Yen, and another hundred-thousand in US dollars, to be precise." It would appear that you've caught Archer in the middle of showing off his haul to his former master. But just wait until she finds out how he got it. "I liberated it from a few of the local Yakuza storehouses."
You have to contain yourself as you hear Tohsaka Rin's jaw hitting the floor. "Jesus, Archer, are you planning on starting a war with them or something?"
"Kure's mother is in some pretty dire financial straits, so it's all going to her. Actually, I was hoping you could help me with that, seeing how I'm technically not a person and can't open a bank account."
You walk into the kitchen just in time to see Tohsaka Rin cradling her face in her hand, while Archer leans back in his chair sipping from a cup of coffee, the two briefcases open and their contents revealed sitting between them. "I'm back," you say, choosing to ignore the goings-on at the kitchen table, as though it's no more normal than anything else you're used to by now. "Good evening, Tohsaka Rin. Will you be staying for dinner?"
Your guest pulls her hand back form her face long enough to confirm your identity, before saying "I mean, I guess I have to..." She shakes her head, adding for both you and Archer "You really leave me no choice, do you? Stupid Shirou, why do you always have to drag me into your messes?"
You nod, leaning down to scratch behind Amy's ears as she wanders into the kitchen to see what all the fuss is. "We'll be glad to have you. Now, I'll trust the two of you not to burn the building down while I do my homework." The two adults in the kitchen nods, bidding you farewell as you head off to your room, Amy following along at your heels. Closing the door behind you, you toss your school bag onto your bed; you've got work you need to take care of now that you're home, but it's only homework from a certain point of view. Your shield blinks into existence, just long enough for you to withdraw the very decrepit Walther pistol, setting down at your desk as you boot up your laptop.
Fortunately, a quick search reveals that the Walther disassembles much like a Beretta, so basic disassembly shouldn't be too much of a problem. Drop the magazine and make sure the firearm is unloaded, make sure the slide is locked back as you rotate the takedown pin, and ease the slide forward and off the frame; and immediately curse Archer out for grabbing this stupid thing once you see what it looks like on the inside. Judging by the quality of the finish and the lack of any military markings, you'd hazard a guess that this was likely made in either the late sixties or seventies; and judging by the complete and utter disaster that is the internal components, it doesn't appear that the pistol has been cleaned once since then.
"Is everything alright in there?" you hear Archer's voice calling from just outside your door.
"I hate you!"
"And I love you too, kiddo. Now, what do you want for dinner?"
You give it some thought, and come to the conclusion that what you're really craving right now is more of what Archer made for lunch. "How about the fried chicken in the spicy marinade you made for lunch?"
"Good choice. I've got plenty of everything I need to whip it up. Dinner'll be ready in about an hour."
Once you hear the sound of Archer's footsteps vanish into the hall, you groan, leaning your head down on your desk as you contemplate whether it's even worth it to try and tidy this piece of junk up, or whether it's better just to toss it in the trash and forget the whole thing right now. Ah, but no, you think, resigning yourself to the long night you've got ahead of you. This isn't your pistol to throw out. Archer got this for Kure Kirika, so whether you like it or not, you're going to put forth the effort and help give your ally the best present this rotting hunk of metal can be. "I'm sorry," you say to Amy, as you remove your cleaning supplies from within your shield. "This is going to stink, and there's nothing I can do about that." Amy just sits there, staring at you as she responds with a single mew.
This is going to be a long night, you think, as you unscrew the grips from the frame, readying your brush with a dab of cleaner fluid as you brace yourself for whatever is lurking underneath. You don't even want to think about how bad things will look once you've taken them off.
It's a little under an hour later that Archer calls you into the kitchen to eat, and you relish every second you don't have to be near that blasted pistol. By your estimate, you're only about a third of the way into making the stupid thing safe for Kure Kirika to use. Hopefully a stomach full of Archer's wonderful cooking will be enough to keep you going through the remaining two hours of this nightmare project; assuming your estimates are correct.
"How's it going in there?" Archer asks as you enter the kitchen.
"I still hate you."
But your foster father knows you don't really mean it, and so despite your frustration, especially the frustration you feel towards him for picking the thing up in the first place, the warmth of his touch when he hugs you and says "And I still love you" causes all your troubles to melt away.
Tohsaka Rin does what she can to clear off the table, not just of the two briefcases, but also of several stacks of paperwork with a letterhead which you recognize as belonging to one of the local banks. You aren't sure how far along the pair are in getting Kure Minako's money squared away, but you hope that however far along they are, they're remembered to take the necessary precautions to account for the Yakuza who by now are certainly in an uproar over their disappeared funds. You doubt the former owner of the Walther pistol will even notice that it went missing, if its deplorable condition is anything to go by.
"How much food did you make?" you ask, glancing down at the amount left over after Archer is finished plating for three.
"Oh, enough," he says. Amy has followed you out into the kitchen, and upon being greeted to the sight of food she mews. "I guess you'll be wanting dinner too, huh?" Archer asks, leaning over to scratch her behind the ears as you lay out fresh food and water for her. Seeing that all is well, Archer calls out "Hey Assassin, get in here!" as he plates chicken and rice for a fourth. "You're eating with us tonight!"
While you wish Archer would have asked you before inviting your poisonous servant to sit at the table with you, as long as she remembers to keep her hands away from anybody who might die from them, and as long as Archer is thorough in cleaning her plate and whatever utensils she uses afterwards, you see no reason to object. "Is there a reason I have been invited to dine with you?" she asks; not to Archer, but to you. "Do you require my presence tonight, master?"
You shake your head, saying "Not for anything in particular, no. But you're a person too, and as long as you're staying under my roof I don't see any reason to treat you any less than I treat Archer. You're welcome to eat with us whenever you'd like to." Your eyes dart to Archer, and you add "Archer just felt like making the invitation slightly more explicit tonight."
It's faint, but you can see the corners of Assassin's mouth turning upwards into a smile at your words. "I see. I am glad that my master is such a considerate person," she says, as she seats herself. Behind her skull-shaped mask you can't see her face, but from the way her head moves ever so slightly back and forth between you, Archer, and Tohsaka Rin, you can only imagine the hesitant looks she must be giving to her dining companions. She definitely hesitates for a moment, watching as the three of you use your chopsticks, and she hesitates again as her hand hovers over her own set.
"Is something wrong?"
"I am not sure. I see you all using utensils, but all my life I was accustomed to eating with just my right hand. I am unsure which would be more appropriate in this situation."
"Just eat however you feel comfortable," you say, not particularly concerned with how Assassin chooses to eat. "I won't judge you."
Assassin nods, and with renewed confidence makes a grab for the chopsticks; looks like she's giving them a chance anyway. She watches you, as covertly as she can from behind a mask, and catching on to what Assassin requires you slow down, making a deliberate show for her of how to properly hold and pick up food with chopsticks. When it looks like she thinks she has the method down, Assassin goes in for a piece of chicken, and even succeeds in bringing it all the way up to her mouth. But then, Assassin stops when her food is just short of her mouth. You wonder why at first, but soon come to understand when you see what she sees.
It's hardly the easiest thing in the world for her to put a chopstick's worth of food into her mouth when the upper jaw of her mask is in the way.
With deliberate motion, Assassin reaches her left hand up and, careful not to touch with it the food still precariously balanced between her chopsticks, she removes the mask, giving you your first look at the face underneath as she plunges her food into her mouth. Her eyes go wide as the taste of Archer's cooking electrifies her senses; they are a pale violet, the same shade as her hair, and possessed of a uncomfortably familiar coldness you recognize as having once belonged to your own eyes; but when she tastes the wonderful flavour of Archer's cooking, you see some warmth and innocent joy returning to those eyes.
Assassin's face is nondescript; she has a narrow jaw and a small nose. You would describe her as being conventionally attractive, maybe you might even call her cute, but nothing about her stands out as exceptionally noteworthy; perhaps that's the way it should be for an assassin. "Do you like the food?" you ask; you can clearly see that she does, but politeness is never your enemy when dealing with someone who can kill with just a touch- Could, you remind yourself, courtesy of Caster's antidote.
"It is different from what I am used to eating in life, but all the same it is quite delicious. My compliments to the chef."
You nod; you're glad to hear that Assassin is enjoying herself. Much better she enjoy herself than the previous Assassin. "Is there anything you'd like to accomplish, as long as you're here and there's no Grail to be fought over?"
Tohsaka Rin looks up at those words. She's been silent, alternating between eating and working on her assorted paperwork. "I'm still doubtful about this whole 'not having a Grail' thing you've got going on here," she says. "Unfortunately, I don't really have any proof that any of you are lying about that, so..."
Assassin ignores Tohsaka Rin's comments, but when she speaks, her answer is once again "I do not have any special desires I wish to achieve while I am here. Just being with a master that can withstand my touch is enough."
You still aren't entirely comfortable with that line of thinking from Assassin. She's becoming unhealthily dependent on you.
[ ] Wat do?