When Taylor Hebert was shoved into her locker, she never expected to be rescued.
Parvos Granum sees what his Corpus has become and doesn't like it one bit, so he decides to shake things up with some help from his loyal bodyguard, Protea.
Nef Anyo activates the Deadlock Protocol, where it explodes in his face.
Meanwhile, Alad V is laughing his ass off while petting his Mini-Zanuka like the mad scientist he is.
This is pure crack, so expect no consistency in tone, behaviour or lore.
"When you trust in the Void, the Void will grant you all you desire." Attributed to Nef Anyo upon his elevation to the Corpus Board of Directors.
"The only good thing to come from the Void is the Tenno, not that you'll ever catch me saying that to their faces." Recording of Alad V to his pet Zanuka; obtained by Operator Lilac utilizing an Ivara Warframe.
Taylor wasn't sure how long she'd been trapped in her locker filled with bodily waste, but it was long enough she'd begun hallucinating space whales. The pair of giant, crystalline worms approached from far away before shedding millions of shards like the universe's worst case of dandruff. As she watched in mild disgust, the twinkling shards spread across the sky, with one growing larger as if it was going to hit her.
[DESTINATION]
[AGREEME...]
The shard was promptly swatted aside by what looked like a spaceship from that one Earth Aleph movie whose name she kept forgetting. Bemused, Taylor was surprised to hear a man speaking with an unfamiliar accent in her head.
"Protea, be a dear and rescue the girl before the brain-dead eyesores notice us."
"Yes, Sir, but I'm getting a raise for this." The woman who spoke had a reassuring voice, even with the electronic tinge to it.
Taylor felt like her entire body was compressed through a straw before she found herself landing on a chair. Blinking away stars, the first thing she noticed was the armoured female Cape holding out a cloth to her. She took it on reflex and used it to wipe off her glasses, which badly needed a good clean after the locker. Her surroundings became a blur without her glasses, but once they were cleaned, she got a proper view of the room.
An older man wearing what looked like a Tinker spacesuit crossed with pyjamas was relaxing in the chair across from her. He looked normal enough, the only standout being the two vertical bars tattooed over his eyes and an honest to God golden hand. He smiled when he noticed her staring, the kind of smile that reminded her of a shark... or a lawyer. He said nothing as she cleaned her face, merely leaning back and steepling his fingers in the classic villain pose.
The fluffy orange slippers he wore let down the image, though they were fancy enough to be really expensive. The female Cape who'd given her the cloth coughed, causing the man to drop the supervillain pose and introduce himself.
"I'm sure you have many questions, child, but let me introduce myself first." The smile returned, but it was much friendlier. "I am Parvos Granum, founder of the Corpus and a man who requires your help." Before Taylor could question that, he gestured to the Cape. "This wonderful lady is Protea, my bodyguard and the finest companion a man could ever have."
The now-introduced Protea gave a little wave. "Hello, Taylor. I'm also his babysitter for when he gets too into his plans for system domination," The woman ignored Parvos' annoyed protest to take the soiled cloth from Taylor. "Time is frozen outside this ship, so ask as many questions as you'd like."
Taylor had used the time given to compose herself, and she was proud to admit her first question was relatively normal.
"Who... who are you, people? Are you some kind of Parahuman group that kidnaps schoolgirls?"
The two very strange Capes laughed at that, sounding genuinely amused by the notion. Taylor had gotten very good at discerning the different types of laughter, and these pair weren't laughing at her. That, more than the entire teleportation from her locker thing, put her off balance. Parvos Granum wiped tears from his eyes before straightening up and staring at her with a scarily intense gaze.
"Nothing of the sort, Miss Hebert. You see, my... descendants have entered a state of affairs that offends me on a personal level. They have spent so long coasting on the success of their subordinates that they have become decadent and slothful." He spat the word like it was liquorice or something equally nasty. "They need someone of will and drive to lead them to a brighter future, which is where you come in."
"Me?" Taylor was, quite rightfully, utterly confused by the notion and said as such. "Why me?"
Protea was the one who answered. "Because you would have achieved great things in a timeline that will never come to pass. You can still achieve great things, Taylor, but this way will be far more pleasant for everyone involved."
There was a mutter from Parvos that sounded like 'certainly not pleasant for Anyo', but Taylor ignored it in favour of digesting the information provided. On the one hand, this could be one massive hallucination from the locker's contents, but it could also be real. There were enough stories of weird and wacky Capes floating around the web for the second to be possible. The tiny part of her self-confidence that the bullying hadn't shredded leapt at the offered opportunity.
With that in mind and considering Parvos' expectant expression, Taylor nodded. "I won't accept the deal until you tell me, in plain terms, what it is you exactly want me to do."
"Spoken like a true adherent of the Corpus!" Then, looking more animated than he'd been throughout the conversation, the older man turned to his bodyguard. "Grab us the bottle of Orokin vintage grape soda, and I'll give you a raise!"
Protea did as asked but fired a retort over her shoulder. "You don't pay me anything!"
"Irrelevant! I'm giving you a raise anyway; that's the Corpus way!"
Relaxing in her own chair, Taylor watched the byplay and wondered if all these Corpus were this crazy. The answer, as it turned out, wasn't the case.
They were worse, much worse.
"By profit and Void, by the blessed handless founder... we hereby invoke The Deadlock Protocol."
Having finished the ancient evocation of the Deadlock Protocol, Nef Anyo expected a few things to happen in the Board Room. First, the other thirteen members of the Board of Directors would react positively or negatively depending on their support of him or not. Second, Frohd Bek would utter some meaningless platitude while preparing a hit squad to eliminate him. Nef detested the former Crewman for that, but mostly because they were In a much better financial position than he was.
If only the Void-damned Tenno would cease deleting the mailing lists for his followers, then he could amass a far larger fortune!
He wasn't expecting the appearance of a trio of figures between him and the rest of the Board. The first was a dark-haired girl dressed in the duty uniform favoured by Navy Executives, who he immediately ignored for being unimportant. The second, tallest figure bore the appearance of a Warframe, though how they'd snuck into the highly secured meeting nearly made him loose bowel control.
He did lose it when the Tech Sergeants guarding the door went to one knee, bellowing praises to Profit and the Founder. The reason for that was the man standing between the two women, whose golden hand was in the midst of beckoning the guards to stand. It was a cybernetic which had been meticulously detailed down to the smallest line on statues across every Corpus facility and ship. Its owner was the cause of that, for Parvos Granum turned to regard Nef with an expression better suited for seeing shit you'd stepped on.
"Nef Anyo." The words drove him to the floor with their venomous condescension. "You dared to invoke the Deadlock Protocol while claiming to be my descendant."
Frohd's amused grin from the far table lent Nef his voice back. "I am your descendent; oh Honoured Founder! I... I have the records to prove it, sourced by the finest Genealogists platinum can buy!"
He tried to say more, but the unamused glare he received made him shut up. Despite never knowing his parents, Nef was left with the uncomfortable sensation of having a father figure disapproving his actions... which was darkly ironic given the evidence he'd fabricated to prove his relationship to Parvos Granum.
The Tenno took a step forward and turned to address the Board. "Members of the Corpus Board of Directors; a choice is laid before you by my Lord, Parvos Granum. The Founder wishes for your input into who is worthy of assuming the mantle of Chairperson of the Board and guiding the Corpus to a profitable and financially secure future."
One gauntleted hand gestured towards Nef, who cringed away from the limb. "Is your choice, Nef Anyo? The self-described 'Prophet of Profit' and a businessman whose fortune is amassed through pyramid schemes and exploitation of the common worker."
"Or is it Lady Taylor Hebert." The hand landed on the teenager's shoulder, who handled the Board's attention with viable aplomb. "Chosen of the Founder and hailing from Earth before the Orokin rose to power. It is a claim I do not make lightly, but would the Founder himself lie to you?"
To Nef's horror, even the member's he'd bought off were nodding along to the Tenno's insane speech. The experience was downright unbearable due to Parvos Granum smirking at him in a way that was both patronizing and amused. The blow that broke the Razorback's spine was Frohd Bek's utterly insincere look of pity he favoured Nef with. It was a humiliation beyond any he'd received at the hands of the Tenno, both in scale and in terms of personal embarrassment.
That his outfit made it impossible to get up without help merely compounded his growing misery.
After a minute of electronically-masked discussion, the former Chairman of the Board carefully rose to his feet. Bek might be old even for one of his position, but the conviction that had allowed him to rise from lowly crewman to the Board carried in his voice.
"As the former Chairperson of the Board of Directors, It is my honour to announce we've come to a decision." What little hope Nef had left withered and died when Bek flashed him a self-satisfied grin. "It is the Board's unanimous decision, excluding Nef Anyo due to his candidacy, that Lady Taylor Hebert is elevated to the position of Chairwoman of the Board of Directors effective immediately."
A burly Tech Sergeant promptly removed Nef Anyo once he snapped and began cursing Taylor Hebert, Frohd Bek and everyone and thing under the sun. The scene was made all the more comical because the Sergeant couldn't fit the raving director through the door sideways. The second Tech Sergeant approached and helped the first turn Nef vertical, wherein they got him through the door.
Blinking owlishly behind her glasses, Taylor watched Nef Anyo depart before making her way to the vacated podium. She only approached once a cleaner robot had cleaned the puddle, but once that finished, she took a deep breath and swept her gaze over the assembled directors. This was her chance to make a suitably impressive first impression, and she couldn't afford to fuck it up.
Unfortunately, her attention latched onto something present on the majority of the faces watching her.
"Why do most of you have painted on moustaches?"
"Why do most of you have painted on moustaches?"
Having managed to keep his composure until that point, Alad V bent over laughing, prompting Zanuka to look up to see if he was okay. It took him a good few minutes to recover his composure, by which time the hacked stream from the boardroom had ended. Then, seeing his pet's concerned look, he reached down and patted her head, reassuring her.
"I'm alright, Zanuka; just amused at the latest developments from the Board of Directors."
His finest and most beloved creation gave a questioning beep and used her tail to point out his office's window. Outside, a squad of unadorned Tenno were battling waves of MOA and other proxies. The sight killed Alad's amusement in a way only truly irritating problems could manage. Compared to this, the Mutalist fiasco had been a cheerful stroll through a Venusian Red Light district.
Not that he'd ever visit one of those; Zanuka was much too young to be exposed to such places.
Maybe when she was older...
Dismissing those thoughts for another time, Alad V got off his comfy chair and gestured for Zanuka to follow him.
"We best deal with this group before they damage too many of my proxies. How many times do I have to tell them that all my Zanuka are sourced from only free-range Warframe parts?" His biomechanical daughter's happy trilling made him smile. "I know, little one, you enjoy playing with the baby Tenno. However, try not to damage them too badly; otherwise, your dad will get a sternly worded message from the Lotus."
He knew, despite Zanuka's rapid nodding, that she'd undoubtedly maul the new Tenno's Warframes. But, alas, she took after him in that she'd never stop doing the things she loved... which in her case was tossing Tenno around like pobbers in a washing machine. Hiding his smile in case anyone saw it, and it ruined his reputation, Alad snagged his visor from the hanger by the door and exited the office.
He waited until the Warframes finished turning the final MOA wave to scrap before speaking.
"Welcome, Tenno, and say hello to my finest creation!" He threw his arms wide and struggled to hide his proud grin. "Zanuka... ATTACK!"
I said this was crack and I hope it delivers on that promise.
There won't be any promises on updates, if at all, mostly because this is just a random snippet I felt deserved at least a one-shot. I might make more, but we'll see how people like this one first.
I felt like writing something Worm and Warframe related, so here we are.
Music today is from Take That.
From all that she'd seen of their society, Taylor expected the Chairperson's office to be a monument to excessive amounts of money, a disturbing fascination with the colour blue and an utter lack of anything approaching normality.
That assumption died when the man whose position she was taking, Frohd Bek, opened the door to his office, and it was... normal. Other than the fact the window behind the metal desk was a hologram from somewhere in Venus' orbit, everything else eerily resembled Dad's office at the DWA. Even the futuristic coffee machine in the corner looked about to fall apart in the same kind of 'I've seen too much to fail' manner.
"Now, Chairwoman, if you'll take a seat, I shall transfer to you the assets customarily held by your position." Bek gestured to the seat, which Taylor quickly sat on.
The mention of assets reminded her of something Protea has said. "Protea, uh," Despite her best efforts, she still floundered before finding her voice. "She mentioned that most of it aren't money?"
Her predecessor-and wasn't that an insane thought-gave Taylor a considering look before offering a curt nod. He swept a hand across the table, which projected a rapidly scrolling display in the Corpus language... which she couldn't read. Thankfully, the Director began listing assets which left her jaw hanging open.
"A Proxy manufacturing facility on Pluto," What she thought was a small factory zoomed out to show it was practically the size of Brockton Bay. "A shipyard complex capable of constructing Holy Profit class trade barges," Bek flashed an actual smile at that one. "An investment I never regretted making, so it will serve you well, Chairwoman." Finally, he brought up a screen that shifted to display a seven, followed by seven zeros. "And, last but certainly not least, a small nest egg of seventy million platinum."
Taylor gasped. "Seventy million?!" She gulped down the offered glass of water with frantic speed. "I... I thought the average Corpus was lucky to earn a single platinum cubit in their life?"
"That's true, but you currently hold the highest position in the entirety of Corpus society." Frohd Bek gave a casual shrug that made his jumpsuit bunch up around the neck. "Most holders, myself included, bring their own assets upon ascension; this is the first time since the Founder himself that such isn't the case."
While the enormity of everything she'd been handed was only now beginning to sink in, Dad always said that investing money was much better than letting it lie around. He'd said that while complaining, the Mayor would rather sit on City funds than spend them on projects for the DWA, but it still made a lot of sense. Before she could voice her ideas on that front, Bek said something that made her blood run cold.
"Now, Founder be praised, Nef Anyo's misguided and failed attempt to invoke the Deadlock Protocol means all his assets now belong to you, including the Fortuna Debt-Internment Colony on Venus."
"Debt-Internment Colony?" Taylor asked, regretting it immediately.
What followed made her want to kick Nef in the balls and roll him and his dumb circular outfit down a dozen flights of stairs... stairs covered in lube and set on fire. An entire colony of people forced to go into crippling debt just to survive, with Nef forcing them to sell parts of their bodies until they became crappy cyborgs! Taylor knew she was growling, and the former Chairman seemed to pick up on that, for he stayed silent until she eventually ground out a question.
"Does that mean I also own all their debt bonds?" She hoped she said that right; keeping her mind on track was hard while being this angry.
Bek nodded. "Indeed. May I ask what you intend to do, Chairwoman?"
"Sell the entire colony and every debt bond back to the Solaris," Taylor grinned when the Corpus Director's composure cracked as he gaped at her. "Charity is Power; isn't that what the Founder set down as his tenets?"
Now it was Frohd Bek's turn to be rendered speechless, but the office's door opened before he could speak. Taylor turned to see a Corpus she'd been briefed about, mostly because he was crazy even by their standards. Alad V swept into the room like he owned the place, the turquoise robot whose name started with Z following behind his flaring labcoat. What was more interesting to Taylor was the adorably cute miniature version that jumped from Alad's arms onto her lap, where it immediately began to purr.
Being someone who'd always wanted a pet, Taylor promptly began lavishing the Robo-kitty with all the attention the little bean deserved! The arrival of the full-sized version, who also demanded scritches, meant she needed to alternate hands, but they were too cute to resist!
The Chairwoman's delighted squee shattered Bek's stupor. "Alad! What do you think you're doing here!"
"Giving the new Chairwoman the customary gift." The Origin System's most infamous scientist waved off Bek's enraged burbling. "My new and improved product line of Mini-Zanuka's has proven to be so popular that they all have new owners, except that one."
"You've signed her death warrant, you fool!" Taylor's head jerked up from cooing over the little robot. "The Lotus will send Tenno kill-teams after the chairwoman now!"
"Tenno kill-teams?"
Alad backed away from the worried Chairwoman. "You're perfectly safe, Lady Hebert." He flashed a disarming smile, which really just made him look like he was getting a renal exam. "The Tenno are actually buying them as fast as they're made. They don't seem to care about my using Warframes for projects anymore..."
"You shouldn't be paying Alad V for pets made from Warframes.
Operator Lilac glanced up to see her Clan's Warlord frowning at her. Being a veteran of the Old War and over a decade of fighting the Corpus, Grineer and Infested, she responded by sticking her tongue out. That done, Lilac went back to watching her newest pet chase a Roller spectre across the Dojo's training hall. When her fellow Tenno continued to mope like someone hunting for Ash blueprints, she gave up.
"Jace, you fed a Nova to Helminth yesterday; how is that any different?"
The silver-haired boy opened his mouth, reconsidered, tried again and eventually gave a sullen nod. Lilac waited until he'd sulked off to play with his anti-matter enhanced Trinity before returning to cooing at her Mini-Zanuka. Amusement turned to horror as the robot fired a cluster of micro-missiles at the spectre, which dodged, leaving the ordinance to shatter the Ayatan sculpture Jace had spent hundreds of hours making.
She recalled her Wisp and floated over to the chittering Robot, sweeping them into her arms before getting the hell out of dodge. If she were lucky, Cy would smuggle her to Fortuna, where she could hide from the Warlord's wrath until he got distracted buying more Floofs.
Despite looking and sounding like a used-car salesman crossed with a mad scientist, Taylor got the feeling Alad V was truthful. Frohd Bek didn't seem to have the same opinion of the other Corpus, but maybe it was because he hadn't received a Mini-Zanuka? She tried to offer her pet to the man, but he ignored them in favour of glaring daggers at a smirking Alad.
On a whim, Taylor set the robot back on her lap and gently stroked their head. It was something the villains in Dad's Bond movies did, and she now understood why; it was super relaxing and a great way to brainstorm ideas. But, before she entertained the idea of building a supervillain lair underneath Brockton Bay, manners came first.
"Alad." The scientist glanced away from his rival. "Thank you for the gift; I'll treasure her."
"I know you will." He rubbed a hand across the head of his much larger version, giving it a tiny smile that vanished a moment later. "Ah, almost forgot why I came here." His attention turned to the floating hologram of Fortuna. "What do you intend to do with your assets after freeing the Solaris?"
"Go home and give my Dad everything he needs to fix the ferry." It was the first thing that came to Taylor's mind, followed by ordering her new minions to blow up Winslow when everyone was away at night.
"Splendid!" The word made Bek turn corpse white, though Taylor didn't know why. "I shall meet you there after you perform the handover. Zanuka and I shall be in disguise, though, so the code word will be Greedy Milk."
"What does that even mean..." She tried to ask, but the crazy man and his pet robot were already gone, leaving her to try and get answers from her predecessor. "Is he..."
"Serious? Unfortunately, yes." The Corpus Director reached for a hidden drawer and retrieved a bottle, and drank straight from it. "I suggest you be on your guard, Chairwoman. While Alad may no longer be as insane as he once was, the man was always a few Flux rifles short of an armoury at the best of times."
"REGOR, ANSWER YOUR QUEEN'S TRANSMISSION!"
Sighing, Tyl Regor set down his GREEDY MILK protein shake, put his mask back on and finally answered the Worm Queen's furious screeching.
"What is your will, my Queens?"
"THE TAXMEN HAVE A NEW CHAIRWOMAN!" Several nearby Grineer clutched their ears in pain, but he weathered it with the ease of someone who invested in volume-dampening earplugs. "OUR SPIES HAVE REVEALED HER PLACE OF BIRTH, AND WE DEMAND YOU GO THERE AND CLAIM IT IN OUR NAME!"
Struggling not to sigh at the interruption, Tyl raised a question. "Is Councillor Vay Hek not commanding your invasion forces, my Queens?"
What sounded like, but surely couldn't be, a giggle came from the communications drone. "VAY HEK HAS HAD HIS AIR STOLEN... AGAIN."
"Wonderful," This time, he did sigh. "I stand ready to bring your rule to everywhere in the universe, as always, but where is the Chairwoman's birthplace?"
"A CITY ON AN ALTERNATE EARTH, KNOWN AS BROCKTON BAY." That was intriguing on its own, but the Queen's follow-up made him genuinely curious. "YOU MAY BRING WHOMEVER YOU WISH, SO LONG AS THEY TAKE THE CITY IN OUR NAMES!"
Gleefully rubbing his hands, Tyl Regor grinned behind his mask. "Your will is my command!"
Just before the transmission cut off, he thought he'd heard muffled laughter but ignored it in favour of addressing his TUBEMEN!
"TUBEMEN, the Twin Queens have ordered us to conquer an alternate Earth in their names! Glory to the Queens!"
The response from the hundreds of fired-up Grineer shook loose a Tenno assassination team from their hiding place on the ceiling. Then, swiping his Ack and Brunt from their place beside his workbench, the Grineer Genesmith leapt amongst the Warframes with a single bound.
"Time for a live dissection!" He'd deal with these frustrations then move to conquer this 'Brockton Bay'.
"Do you think he bought it?" Cressa Tal asked her companion, the Tenno known only as Shiny.
The Mirage Prime nodded, making her helmet's attached bells softly tinkle. They traced a smile across their Warframe's face, all the while lounging on what used to be the Elder Queen's throne. Cressa was well used to their silence, having only heard them speak the once since they joined Steel Meridian. Like her friend, the Grineer defector enjoyed parking her rear end in the Twin Queen's sanctum. The formerly dreary chamber had been updated with a seemingly inexhaustible supply of Floofs from Shiny's collection.
The Tenno pointed at the voice masker in Cressa's hand, making her smile. "I'll message Glast and thank him for it, even if he's an insufferable taxman." A boop to the nose made her reel back, struggling and eventually failing to hold back giggles. "Stop doing that! I know the Tenno stealing Hek's air is hilarious, but it nearly broke the disguise!"
Her incorrigible friend and adopted sister created a Void illusion of the bombastic Grineer Councillor lugging around an oxygen tank and mask. While it made Cressa laugh, the addition of a multicoloured Excaliber stealing the tank had her bent over crying. The act would have enflamed her cybernetic lungs not so long ago, but ever since Shiny brought her along to a Vazarin Spa day, she'd never felt better.
Wiping the tears from her eye, Cressa Tal, Commander of the Steel Meridian and Grineer Defector, continued to constructively screw with the Grineer Empire by pretending to be their now-dead Queens. She threw a grateful look at the woman who'd made it all possible, who was busy swimming through the pool filled with Roller floofs.
She used to regard the Tenno as unstoppable warriors, only to discover they were children at heart in more ways than one. She owned Shiny so much yet knew that her friendship with them was more than enough payment for the silent Tenno.
It was good to have friends.
After all the fuss that had been kicked up over correct protocol and dozens of other mind-numbing things, the Fortuna handover was surprisingly low-key. She had taken a fast and heavily armed transport to Venus and from there to the colony itself. She was still dressed in the unadorned Navy executive suit from before, but now a pair of suited agents flanked her. They were from something called The Exchange, and it was both a point of pride and a status symbol to have them as bodyguards.
Taylor wasn't surprised to see the price tag attached to the protection but was happy with it regardless.
The meeting with the Solaris spokeswoman, Eudico, had gone by in a flash. The cybernetically augmented woman, whose mannerisms reminded Taylor of Linda, a family friend, was clearly off-kilter the entire time. She wasn't sure if that was because of her Mini-Zanuka, who she'd named Tiffany, sniffing at her legs or the fact Taylor had offered the Solaris a million platinum as reimbursement for Nef Anyo's crimes against them. Whatever the case was, they barely lingered long enough to babble a thank you before sprinting off with the case and the deed to the colony.
The newly-minted Chairwoman of the Board exited the meeting room with a smile on her face only to run into someone. She held up a hand before her bodyguards did more than go for their weapons, not wanting them to shoot the girl she'd bulldozed by accident.
They were a few years younger than her, with vivid blue hair that rivalled her own for length and lushness. They were pretty pale, but the Tinker-looking jumpsuit they wore drew attention by being bright pink with white highlights. Her eyes were a mesmerising shade of purple that almost seemed to flash before Taylor's aches faded as if they'd never happened. She opened her mouth to apologise, only for another turquoise Robo-Kitty to come from behind their legs and spot Tiffany.
The two girls cooed over the Mini-Zanuka's playing together, with even the Exchange Agents cracking a smile at the happily chittering ball of cuteness. But, unfortunately, the peace was ruined by the arrival of Alad V... whose disguise consisted of a fake beard and a tophat. Zanuka, at least, resembled a panther-like cat before the hologram fizzled out when she spotted her tiny siblings.
The very colourful girl and ex-rogue Corpus scientist took one look at each other before pointing fingers. "YOU!"
Alad's recovery consisted of flailing his hands for no discernable reason. "How did you find me!? My disguise is perfect!"
Taylor wanted to say it was worse than useless, but the girl beat her to it. "I hacked your message inbox and noticed you'd booked your ticket here using it."
"Drat, I knew I forgot something." He tore off the crappy disguise and turned to Zanuka. "I should have listened to you, my dear; remind me to use a fake account next time."
Having observed the byplay with growing bemusement, Taylor finally had enough of being out of the loop. But, first, she turned to the cyan-haired girl and waited for them to notice her looking.
"Who are you, exactly? And how do you know..." She pointed at Alad V. "Him."
An amused smirk appeared. "I'm Lilac, second in command of the Mournival Pulsers Clan and a Tenno." The smirk grew tenfold as she lazily gestured to the scientist. "Salad Bowl and I go way back; we're Nemifriends."
"That's not my name, and it's also not a word," Alad groused, seemingly more annoyed by the word choice that being discovered. "She insists on breaking into my office constantly to 'chat'," he accompanied the word with finger quotes, proving that some things were universal. "The only reason I allow it is because Zanuka adores her, for reasons only the Founder knows..."
That said robot was quite happily accepting pats from the Tenno proved him correct, but one thing still confused Taylor.
"I thought Tenno were like Protea?"
Lilac vanished in a flash of light, leaving behind a figure that shared similarities with Protea but had one huge difference. She wasn't talking about the fact their legs ended before the ankles or that they floated a few inches above the ground. Not even the ethereal lights that swirled around the Tenno drew her attention from the noticeable feature, even with most of it obscured from the front.
"Sorry if I'm rude asking this, but why the heck is your butt massive?"
That was Alad's cue to break down into wheezing laughter, drawing an irritated glare from the Tenno and giving Taylor an eyeful of that ludicrously sized asset. Seriously, who thought that kind of figure was suitable for the legendary warriors Parvos had told her about.
Ballas sneezed, which meant he had the misfortune of doing so all over his beloved Margulis.
She was not much impressed, no matter how hard he tried to explain that it was an accident.
I had ideas for more of this, so here we go. It wasn't supposed to have so much Alad, but he's a total scene-stealer.
