Built To Last

[We Just Write]

A/N: Wiggin and Nourie was a real law firm operating in New Hampshire since 1860. In our history, they went defunct in 2012. Since the story is set in 2010 at the moment and an alternate universe aside, it makes sense for them to still be around.

---

The very first thing Melissa and I did once we were awarded the Energy Teleportation patent was to hire a lawyer. Well, more accurately we turned up at the offices of the Wiggin and Nourie law firm as soon as they were open, with Melissa in her dress armor.

We actually caught a glimpse of Carol Dallon milling around the lobby with a cup of coffee, but she wasn't who we were here to talk to. Instead, we went to the front desk, keenly aware of all the eyes on us.

The receptionist - his nametag read Johan - greeted us.

"Ah. Ruggedizer, from the news? Do you have an appointment?"

Melissa shook her head,

"No appointment, but I've been approved for a very important patent, and we want some help with licensing it."

"And that would be a patent for?"

"Energy teleportation."

Johan blinked, and promptly started typing a message to someone or other at the law firm.

---

Half an hour later, we were sitting across from an attorney by the name of Lars Anderson.

"Ruggedizer, Emmy. I understand you are looking for help with your Energy Teleportation patent application?"

Melissa made a bit of an awkward noise, before answering.

"Not quite. I was awarded the patent through the PRT's reproducibility verification; that part's already handled. I'm looking for help with licensing it out."

Lars stroked his beard.

"That changes things slightly, but the broad picture is basically the same. There is also the matter of international patent registration. That's something the PRT doesn't handle, as far as I am aware."

I blinked, so did Melissa. Hadn't actually known about that. So I asked,

"You can handle the international patent applications, right?"

"Yes, but let's talk about the licensing scheme you're thinking of going with. What exactly are you looking to achieve with it?"

Melissa spoke up, the both of us having already decided on this part.

"We want to license it to damn near everyone in exchange for a small percentage of revenue. That way the tech gets widespread adoption quickly, while we also get the money needed to revitalize Brockton Bay."

Mr. Anderson adopted a thoughtful expression.

"I can help write up a licensing agreement to achieve that easily enough. That said, I must urge you to be cautious; there are many forces which go out of their way to eliminate ambitious and optimistic Tinkers, with very few of them opting for legal channels to do so. I would advise protecting yourselves."

There was an awkward silence for a moment, before we nodded. That was something we needed to consider. Perhaps an additional backup site in another city? Not to mention improved security for our existing factory complex.

---

We'd managed to scale up our object teleportation units to the size of a toolbox (and begun animal testing on rodents) by Saturday -- Christmas -- when we'd invited the Heberts over for dinner. Our factory-attached residence was much nicer now than when we'd first moved in, seeing as we'd been busily Tinkering up personal amenities in our spare time.

As Taylor remarked when they both came in, "Those chairs look like they'd survive a bomb going off."

Melissa nodded,

"Yeah that sounds about right. Awfully comfy too."

I thought to add, "They're color coded; shorter wavelength colors use stiffer foam. Seeing as Melissa's a robot, she needs tougher cushions to get the same effect."

As Taylor sat in one of the red chairs and Danny one of the orange chairs, we went to fetch the meal that our CookBot had whipped up for us.

As Melissa set the wonderfully baked shepherd's pie down in the middle of the table, Danny noted,

"That looks absolutely delicious. Thank you for inviting us."

I replied as I sat,

"It's great to have you over. Aside from that, we do have some good news we wanted to share."

Taylor and Danny both motioned for us to continue, and Melissa took the opportunity.

"We've been awarded a patent for Energy Teleportation; fully reproducible. The marketing guys have already figured out a couple products using it we can sell, and even aside from that, we're going to be licensing out the technology worldwide."

Taylor's jaw dropped, and Danny's eyes went wide.

"That's going to bring so much money into the city. It's... You are going to share, I hope?"

We both emphatically nodded. Melissa spoke first,

"Yeah we're going to be sharing our newfound wealth with the general city; Max Anders is not an example to be emulated."

I added on to that.

"We haven't quite worked out all the details with the lawyers we hired, but we're thinking of setting up some sort of fund to help Brocktonites set up their own businesses, get housing, get through rehab, that sort of thing."

Danny was so taken aback that he was crying tears of joy as he made his way around the table to hug us.

Taylor on the other hand just looked grim.

Seeing this, I asked,

"Taylor, is something wrong."

The teenager looked deeply conflicted, before eventually saying, "There's something I need to tell you. I've been getting bullied at high school."

Within an hour the whole horrid story of those three girls' torture of Taylor came out, tears streaking down her shirt as she told us everything. Neither Melissa or I had ever met this Emma... but the level of betrayal she'd done was inexcusable. Also, this Sophia Hess girl was clearly fucked in the head.

When things eventually calmed down, I brought up the obvious solution.

"You know, there's still two weeks of Christmas Break before classes resume. If you want, we can help you get into another school. We've got the money to put you through Immaculata."

Something in Taylor's gaze hardened.

"No. I'm not the only one Sophia and Emma torment, just their favorite target. They've got to be dealt with somehow before I leave Winslow."

Danny nodded,

"Right. I think we're going to need to talk to a lawyer about how we're going to handle this. Before you go back there."

I also chimed in,

"We're also going to make you some Christmas presents. Because there's no way in hell we're risking them hurting you again before this whole mess is wrapped up."

 

[We Just Write]

One of the very first things on our agenda for Monday was a meeting at the Dockworkers Association. We needed to talk with Danny, Taylor, and whatever lawyer he'd hired about the bullying situation. So, Melissa made sure I had a breakfast ready when I woke up, we got dressed quickly, got in our carefully legal Tinkermobile, and showed up at 8:30 AM, sharp.

The Heberts were already waiting for us when we got there, as was a large-chested redhead in a suit we'd never met before.

"Ah, you must be the lawyer. I'm Emmy, and this is Ruggedizer. We're friends of the Heberts."

The woman nodded,

"Correct. I'm Sarah Cobbler, the attorney Mr. Hebert hired. Now, let's get down to business. First I have some bad news for Taylor: most of the testimony in your bullying journals will not be admissable in court. The only parts we can really work into the case are the printouts of those horrible emails you were sent."

Taylor nodded sadly.

"If I need to go back to Winslow to get what we need to keep Sophia and Emma's bitch brigade from tormenting someone else once I leave, I'll do it."

Sarah shook her head,

"I'd recommend against that. The records show a clear pattern of continuing escalation, with a tendency to hit you really hard whenever you're coming back from a break. I'm worried that they could seriously hurt you if you go back to Winslow for even one more day."

Taylor nodded grimly,

"I know. The risk is worth it if we can prevent them from tormenting anyone else."

This is also when Melissa chimed in.

"If needed, I can be waiting near Winslow that day? That way if anything really bad does happen, I can go in and rescue Taylor at a moment's notice."

Sarah thought for a moment.

"That could be workable; good samaritan laws still apply to Parahumans, meaning you can't be sued for actions taken to save someone's life. That said, we also need ways to make sure Taylor gets actionable evidence when something does happen to her."

I noticed that we'd all come to a silent agreement that something nasty would be done to Taylor if she went back, but we were going ahead with the plan anyway. I really didn't like that at all, but Taylor was so determined to make sure her tormentors faced justice, no matter the cost to herself.

Taylor asked, "Could I wear a concealed bodycam?"

"...Maybe. I'll need to look into it, but I'm fairly certain there's some sort of exception that would allow you to record things that happen to you and still have it be admissable in court. That could very easily make the case as open-and-shut as they come, depending."

Melissa noted,

"No matter what, I'm going to fit Taylor with a bunch of concealed biosensors. Heart and breathing monitors, that sort of thing. I want to know if Taylor needs a rescue, even if she's incapacitated and can't use her panic button."

Taylor nodded grimly.

---

The hardest part of designing the energy teleportation products our marketing duo had come up with was making them cheap. Sure a wireless extension cord or power strip would be really convenient, but if it cost twenty times as much as a normal one, no-one would buy it. The issue with that was simple: our power was fighting us every step of the way, trying to design the devices to be as durable and rugged as possible, cost be damned.

In fairness, we'd rather it be super tough too, but there were cost limitations in play here. Again, this was supposed to be a commercial product. Honestly it felt more like haggling than engineering, trying to get our power to compromise with us.

Eventually we got the unit cost down to the point where we could feasibly sell wireless extension cords for fifty dollars wholesale and still have a modest profit margin, and they would still outlast the vast majority of extension cords and surge protectors on the market to boot. But our power honestly felt like it was sulking in the corner. To make it happy I quickly threw together an Indestructium Edition as durable as I could design it without adding too much bulk; we'd need to charge way more for it though.

Still, when we got both of them ready and automated production, we immediately made our way down to the marketing office. Andy and Ruth (our two starting marketing people) had beaming expressions when Melissa set down the box full of wireless extension cords.

Andy cheered,

"That's great! We can make these sell no question about it. Though we're going to need some basic pricing information before we can shoot the commercial."

Melissa tilted her head,

"We've got a 5% profit margin with a wholesale price of $50. The Indestructium Edition goes for $420. Any thoughts on what the commercial is going to be like?"

Ruth smiled,

"Well, it's pretty straightforward."

---

"Are you tired of vacuuming over the cord?"

A video of a woman running over her vacuum cleaner cord

"Sick of tangled power cables?"

The same woman struggling to untangle a mess of power strips

"Introducing the Wonder Socket!"

The woman, wide-eyed, holding up a rounded plug in her left hand and a matching rocket in her right

"This revolutionary wireless power extension uses patented energy teleportation technology, able to connect anywhere within its transmission range!"

A basic graphic of lightning bolts blinking out at the plug and blinking in at the socket

"It's great for vacuum cleaning."

The lady vacuuming in a cramped space without needing to worry about the cord

"Makes the outdoor use of power tools a breeze!"

A handyman using a plug-in power drill as a screwdriver without an extension cord

"And your power cords will never get tangled again!"

A collection of Wonder Sockets powering devices in close proximity, all plugged into a power strip

"The Wonder Socket, by Reliabuilt. Buy two for $94.95. Call now at 555-RELY ONS!"

Two matched sets of Wonder Sockets spinning on a turntable in front a white background contract into the upper left corner of the screen, pricing information showing on the bottom with a footnote of "shipping and handling not included" immediately below it

---

The commercial turned out to be a pretty notable success, once we'd paid to have it shown on a few local TV channels. We actually had to hire a couple more people to take calls, who were pleasantly surprised by the living wages we'd decided to pay them. A few more Dockworkers also got hired on to handle the increased shipping and receiving volumes.

It was the twenty ninth of December, we had loads of money coming in from Wonder Plug sales, and we'd finally gotten a pair of teleporters built that could move a human between them. That's when I admitted something to Melissa.

"Melissa... I want to be a robot too. Can we work on that next?"

My double nodded,

"Sure. Making a new body won't take long, nor will making a new brain. The hard part is just getting you in there."

Looking at the teleporter we'd spent most of a month working towards, an idea occurred to me.

"Maybe we could use quantum teleportation? It's the highest-fidelity way we've got to move huge amounts of information from place to place, and it gets around the need for super-deep brain scans. Plus we've spent a lot of effort on related stuff recently, so we've already got some good inroads there."

Melissa thought for a moment.

"I can see where you're coming from with that. Though I'm pretty sure we're going to need a bit of work to get it to do what we need. Formatting a random chunk of matter into your bio-brain while turning the one in your skull to mush won't exactly be helpful."

I winced at the thought of that. Yeah, that would be a horrible way to die.

"Yeah, we need to really nail the process of translating the quantum structure of a brain into... well, me if born as a computer."

Melissa giggled and made a sarcastic, "beep boop" noise.

I chuckled too. Then I got serious.

"We need to figure out which animal we hate the most. There's going to be fatalities in early testing, and I'd rather not feel too bad about them."

Melissa added in,

"Needs to be a fairly brainy animal too, and one that's readily available."

I tilted my head,

"If we can't figure out anything else, there's always lab rats."

"Yeah, I suppose there are. I've honestly grown kind of fond of the ones we used for testing teleportation though."

Melissa frowned,

"Guess we'll just have to buy more and try not to get attached to them."

"Yeah..."

 

[We Just Write]

It was just after Thanksgiving that Emma noticed,

"Taylor's too happy."

Sophia mulled it over. She was ever so slightly more confident, and sometimes even smiled a little bit when she thought no-one was watching. Not to mention that shitty red wristwatch she had now. She kept fidgeting with it, like it would somehow keep her safe.

"Maybe she has a boyfriend?"

Emma scoffed, "Her? Who would ever date Taylor?"

Sophia shrugged, "LSD-addicted gutter trash? If they're high on hallucinogens all the time they might not know how ugly Taylor is."

Emma's gaze steeled. "Either way, we can't let Taylor forget her place. We're going to have to do something about that happiness."

Sophia shrugged.

"Easy enough until Christmas, but how are we going to wreck her winter break?"

Emma got an evil grin.

"Remember that locker prank we had in mind?"

Sophia thought for a moment,

"You mean the one where we lock her inside with a bunch of used tampons?"

"Yeah, let's make it worse."

Sophia made a "go on" gesture,

"So those tampons are going to dry out right? Let's get a few bags of pig blood from a butcher, and set it up with a slow leak in there over the winter break, make sure they stay nice and wet and grow all sorts of nasty mold."

Sophia's eyes sparkled,

"That's a great idea! Maybe I can chuck in a few dead squirrels too, make sure lots of icky bugs move in there to keep Taylor company?"

Emma grinned, "I'll add some broken bottles too! Get her all cut up when we shove her in. The maggots will keep her clean."

Sophia grinned, "I'll do you one better. Used syringes. Perfect for the hoe of drug-addicted gutter trash like her."

Emma thought for a moment.

"Remember when we filled Taylor's flute with shit? Let's remind her about that. Buy a cheap flute, break it in half, glue the parts to the back of the locker, let her stare at it while she suffers in there."

"I like the way you think."

---

As it turned out, the alterations to the locker plan had rendered it surprisingly high maintenance over winter break. Sophia had needed to sneak into Winslow four times to replace the pig's blood and add more dead squirrels. Every single time it had gotten grosser and smellier.

By the end of winter break, Sophia was practically bursting with anticipation.

It was time to show that useless piece of trash her place once and for all.

 

[We Just Write]

A/N: On the topic of Christmas Presents, we'd really appreciate a tropes page for one of our fics some day.

---

The new batch of laboratory rats arrived Thursday, all twelve of them. I thanked the delivery man who'd brought them, and tried very hard not to think about how cute the rodents were. Very few of them would survive the experiments, after all. That done, I brought the rats to the private lab where Melissa and I could work on perfecting the brain uploading process.

As I set the cage down, I asked Melissa,

"So. Any thoughts on where we should start?"

Melissa nodded, and brought up some familiar code on one of the nearby monitors.

"Isn't that the brainwave monitoring code from the headset I used when making you?"

"Yeah, it is. It seems a decent enough starting place, since it already has some functions to translate what a bio-brain does into how my synthetic one works."

I nodded, looking at the rat cage again.

"So, which one are we experimenting on first?"

Melissa thought for a moment, before answering, "Whichever one's the most ornery."

---

We ended up carrying out the first uploading experiment on New Year's Eve. We'd got a rat level synthetic brain ready, a remote-operated robo-rat, and our first iteration of the QUD (Quantum Uploading Device).

We'd also picked out our first test subject, a particularly ornery rat which we'd named Grump. Melissa had caught him bullying the other lab rats, so he was going first.

I'd actually come up with an interesting diagnostic approach to figure out just how much changed about the rat's mental state as a result of the upload. Have a brainwave set on him prior, and once he was in the computer, run the "brainwave to thought code" translator backwards. If we got a successful upload, the changeover ought to be completely and utterly seamless, barring some mild disorientation.

So we wrestled the tiny headset onto Grump's head, chucked him into the QUD, and waited a couple minutes to get a brainwave baseline. Then I pressed the big red button.

The brainwave display spiked wildly as the robo-rat began flailing. Simultaneously, Grump's old body dropped dead. The display kept spiking, even as Melissa put the rat carcass in a sealed trash bag to make sure it wouldn't get too smelly.

After about half an hour of watching the robo-rat flail with no signs of improvement, I pulled the plug.

"Well, that's about what we'd expected to happen, unfortunately. Let's try and figure out what went wrong."

---

Later that evening, we visited the Heberts for New Years' Eve. As we showed up, Melissa noted that they'd fixed the step she'd busted last time. So we simply walked up the porch steps, and rang the doorbell.

A few moments later, Taylor opened the door.

"Emmy and Melissa! Nice to see you, please come in."

We obliged, and as soon as the door closed Taylor wrapped herself around Melissa in a hug.

"Thank you so much for helping with the... everything really."

Melissa and I both replied "You're welcome."

That's when Danny noted,

"I hope you don't mind if the food isn't too fancy. We ordered Chinese take out in the morning and it's been waiting in the fridge."

I shrugged,

"That's fine."

"Yeah."

As we sat down at the dinner table, I thought to ask,

"By the way, how are things at the Dockworkers' Association going?"

Danny smiled,

"Much better than they were. That fund you set up is already having its first beneficiaries; new businesses mean more money coming into the city, and more honest work for the people I'm looking out for. Not to mention the ones directly working for you. Thank you both."

A few minutes later, I had warmed up some fried rice that I was thoroughly enjoying. That's when Taylor asked,

"By the way, any projects you two want to talk about?"

I spoke first,

"Well, we finally managed to get teleporters that can move a human working. Though our version needs a receiver with a vacuum chamber, otherwise there are serious problems. Not submitting them for testing just yet since we want to focus on another project right now."

Danny raised an eyebrow,

"Hasn't teleportation been your major project for the last month though?"

That's when Melissa spoke up.

"Emmy got jealous of my amazing robot body. We're working on a machine to transfer her mind to the same sort of synthetic brain I run on."

Both Heberts blinked, before Taylor eventually got out a "Huh."

I nodded somberly,

"Yeah, though the process certainly isn't easy. And we fully expect to burn through quite a few lab rats getting it right."

Taylor looked a bit sick, while Danny seemed thoughtful.

"I'm not claiming to be some sort of cape expert, but I thought Tinkers just knew how to build all their stuff. Meanwhile you two seem to be figuring out a lot of your more exotic technology through plain old trial and error."

Melissa chimed in,

"Yeah it's the darnedest thing. It honestly seems like our power has massive holes in its knowledge base. Like, it wants to help us with the various exotic technologies we're developing, but it just can't until we've already put in most of the legwork. I swear, if it weren't for my awesome robot brain we wouldn't have made a fraction of our progress on teleportation research."

I chuckled,

"You're probably right, Melissa. One more reason I'm looking forward to the changeover."

Taylor took the opportunity to comment,

"You know, if you two didn't keep reminding me Melissa is a robot, I'd probably just think you were twin sisters. You just click with each other. Not to mention looking damn near identical, aside from Melissa being way more buff."

Melissa giggled,

"Hey, I was built as a body double."

That's when I remembered something.

"By the way, I talked with Sarah a bit and got clearance to put a bodycam on you. Mind if we take your measurements so we make sure it fits on you?"

Taylor nodded,

"Sure. After dinner though. By the way, I think a rear camera on there would probably be a good idea too. Maybe concealed. That way we still have video even if they push me down the stairs from behind or something."

I smiled,

"That works out quite nicely. See, there needs to be at least one easily visible camera to meet legal requirements. But if that camera's easily removed it could lead the bullies into a false sense of security about all the other concealed cameras on you. We're also going to be fitting you with a set of accelerometers to monitor your movement, sensors for your vitals, all that. Plus redundant audio recorders."

Taylor smiled.

"Thank you Emmy. Melissa too."

 

[We Just Write]

Just because it was New Years' Day and a weekend to boot didn't mean we were taking a break from the uploading project. In fact, all our employees being at home meant I could fully join in on the Tinkering without blowing my cover.

As we looked at the rat cage, I noted,

"I assigned one of the security robots to feed the rats. I don't think we could avoid getting attached to them otherwise."

Melissa nodded,

"Probably a good idea. Right, let's pick out a test subject."

Unlucky rat selected and prepared, we went down the checklist. We'd accounted for every single issue that we'd spotted with the version 1 QUD, but that was no guarantee version 2 would be remotely safe for me to use.

That's why we were doing animal testing.

Checklist complete, Melissa got the honor of pushing the big red button. She could have just sent a wireless signal, but where was the fun in that?

I quickly bagged the rat carcass, while the robo-rat flailed for a few seconds. It eventually recovered and got to its feet, but something was clearly wrong. That rat was way too still, and didn't seem interested in doing much of anything.

After a few minutes of staring at the readouts, I remarked,

"We forgot the hormones, didn't we?"

Melissa nodded.

"Didn't do the neural network in the gut either. No wonder that rat's emotions are so screwed up."

Staring at the almost completely still robo-rat, I sighed.

"Pretty sure that rat's emotions are completely gone, not just screwed up."

That's when a perimeter alert went off. I quickly pulled up the footage from one of the discreet surveillance drones we had flying around, and got a look at a group of five neo-nazis approaching. Their leader was himself an unnatural shade of white.

Alabaster, the faux regenerator.

Melissa groaned,

"Want to keep Tinkering while I deal with them?"

"Sure."

---

(Melissa)
I quickly suited up in my combat armor, got six security robots to flank me, and grabbed the electrolaser rifle I'd built for situations like this. As soon as Alabaster rounded the corner I ordered the wide garage door to open, and projected my voice at full amplification.

"What the fuck do you want, Alabastard?"

The four unpowered goons were quaking in their boots, even as their leader frowned slightly.

"How uncouth. I just wanted to let you know that we've heard of your little charity fund, and we think it's quite admirable. But you're quite new to the scene; don't you think an experienced organization would be better suited to allocating its resources?"

"No."

"That wasn't a question. Surely you realize that those uncivilized animals in the ABB are after your head too, to say nothing of your altercation with Squealer? Something horrible could happen."

"You do realize I fully expect the Nine to take a swing at me at some point, right?"

Alabaster's eyes widened slightly, but he pressed on,

"All the more reason to sign up with the Empire and put our dif-"

I cut him off at 140 decibels.

"I'm going to be incredibly fucking blunt, because you don't seem to have gotten the message through your thick skull. We'll take the 'or else', thanks. And you'd better bring every last bit of firepower your deplorable little club can scrounge up, or you don't even have a chance to make it stick. Now fuck off before I taze you."

With that, I slammed the factory's armored garage door right in their faces.

---

Melissa and I quickly got down to strategizing.

"So yeah, we have to assume the entire Empire is coming to have a go at us, and soon too. Thoughts?"

After a moment, I answered.

"We need to establish that we're not interested in the cops and robbers nonsense, and also that we're not pushovers. I'm thinking immediate lethal force hitting as many of them simultaneously as possible. Basically, go for a time-on-target strike."

Melissa thought for a moment.

"I can definitely see the logic there: cautionary tale by way of smoldering craters. We're going to need some heavier weapons than our current loadout though; I'm thinking anti-tank guided missiles for Hookwolf along with the giantess twins. Probably lidar-guided."

I nodded, "We could also do with some heavier beam weapons. Sure the electrolasers can kill, but they can't catastrophically demolish a person in an instant like we need them to do. Needs to be something that won't incidentally blind people in the surrounding area too."

"Really big concussor?"

I shook my head.

"Not enough time."

Melissa shrugged,

"In that case? Megawatt class UV lasers are probably your best bet. The wavelength is short enough that it can't pass through the air without ionizing it first, so it's relatively eye safe."

I nodded. We'd already gotten quite skilled with UV lasers courtesy of the electrolasers. IR would be arguably superior, but time was of the escence right now.

I asked,

"Division of labor?"

"I'll get missile production going and modify our robots to carry the new weapons. You design the lasers and get a good night's sleep. It's probably going to take at least a day for the Empire to organize their siege."

And so we each got on with our part of the preparations. True to our expectations, I was able to prototype a 1.6 MW laser within forty minutes.

Well, strictly speaking it was four separate 400 kW lasers shoved into a bazooka-style casing. Didn't combine the beams coherently, but for the cutrent job that wasn't really needed.

The UV lasers in this particular model of death ray were also pulsed, which considerably upped the lethality. A sequence of small explosions drilling into a target was a lot more rapidly lethal than the slow burn-through of a continuous laser after all.

As soon as I got a laser-maker up and running (which only took another three hours courtesy of robot labor), I went to check in on Melissa.

"So, I've got the laser production up and running. How are the missiles coming?"

Melissa groaned.

"I'm having trouble sourcing the propellant and explosives. We just don't have enough nitrates on hand, and can't get more in on short notice. Don't have the time to implement the Haber-Bosch process to start making them locally, and there's no way in fuck we're breaching the sewer to get them."

I thought for a moment.

"Could they be substituted for?"

Melissa blinked.

"They can, actually. If I stick a beefy energy receiver in there, I can use an electric rocket with inert propellant, and a similar idea for the warhead. Just need to figure out a shaped charge effect and we're golden."

I nodded,

"I've got a few hours before I'm going to bed. Want help on the energy teleportation parts?"

"Yes please."

 

[Mr. Cloak]

I own orion-like electrolazer rockets for home defense, just like the founding Entities intended.

Multiple nazi capes break into my property.

"What the devil?" As I slip into my power armor.

I shoot Stormtiger with a supersonic rocket to the face, he's dead all over the walls.

The second missile hits Alabaster, fails to explode correctly due to power interaction and hits the incoming support van full of thugs (+ Victor) at mach 2.

There is only one survivor and he he is trapped by the wreckage.

I have to resort to the UV pulse laser mounted to a truck in the motor pool.

"Tally ho fuckers!"

Hookwolf isn't resilient enough to withstand laser ablation, the sound sets orf car alarms for a mile and shrapnel takes out the giant twins.

Fix power armor and charge the shellshocked Cricket, who dies of internal bleeding because kinetic concussor gauntlets shred bones and organs without breaking the skin while Kaiser runs away.

Ah... Just as the founding Entities intended.

 

[We Just Write]

(Melissa)
It was two in the morning when surveillance indicated that damn near the entire Cape roster of the Empire 88 were on their way to the factory. I quickly donned the gauntlets and helmet of my combat armor, then I woke up Emmy.

"Emmy."

"Urgh."

"The Empire is coming. Get to the escape pod. If the worst happens, at least you'll still be free."

"'kay."

There was absolutely no world in which I would let those nazi fucks hurt my big sister. Now, let's just make sure the carnage that was about to ensue was nice and legal.

I quickly directed one of the unarmed surveillance drones down to where the collection of technicals was trundling along, then activated its lights and speakers.

"Kaiser, this is Ruggedizer speaking. I wish to clarify matters."

The column quickly pulled to a stop. An armored man got out of one of the vehicles and walked to the front. Kaiser.

He asked,

"Have you finally become more willing to negotiate?"

In the background, my many robotic minions were locating and identifying the many Empire-affiliated Parahumans in the vicinity and tasking weapons to take them out.

"I want to make sure you know New Hampshire's self-defense laws before you proceed."

For example, Kaiser himself had the attention of a laser-armed sniper robot with a targeting lock on his head, ready to turn said cranium to pink mist at a moment's notice.

Kaiser hesitated for just a moment, before he said, "And just what do you mean by that?"

"Under New Hampshire law, it is permitted to employ lethal force to stop a threat of death or bodily harm to myself or someone else. It is also permitted to prevent home invasion, kidnapping, and forcible sexual assault. I have no obligation to retreat, so long as I am somewhere I have a legal right to be. The factory you are advancing on is my legally recognized place of residence."

Kaiser scoffed,

"You're saying you'll kill me if I attack? How quaint. Lung says he'll kill me at least once a month, and here I am."

Night and Fog located. Incendiary-armed units tasked; neither Thermite or Napalm needed nitrates, after all.

"For the legal record, what exactly do you intend to do should your attack succeed?"

Kaiser looked thoughtful for a moment, even as kill shots were lined up on Othala and Victor. They'd picked a decent overwatch vantage, but it wouldn't save them.

"Despite what some would believe, attempting to conscript Tinkers is an extremely foolish endeavor. We will simply kill you, then recoup our losses by looting your factory to the bedrock. And you can avoid all that nastiness by simply paying us that lovely little charity fund you've set up."

All firing solutions were set and ready to go. The instant I sent the command, the entirety of the Empire's Cape lineup would be obliterated. Well, except Purity, who hadn't shown up for some reason. Shame, I'd kind of wanted to remove her from consideration too.

"To be absolutely and totally clear, the Empire intends to carry out the course of action you described?"

Kaiser barely got out half a syllable after "Yes" before I sent the firing command.

Missiles flew, lasers fired, and within a single second the entirety of the Empire's Parahuman lineup was removed from existence. Well, it took a little bit for Night and Fog to burn to death, and 4.2 seconds until I could be sure Alabaster wasn't coming back from having his brain vaporized. A rout of the unpowered muscle quickly ensued. What few maniacs wanted to keep up the fight got blasted where they stood, while those who'd already gone down got trampled. Wasn't legally allowed to fire on the ones who were retreating, so we didn't.

I informed Emmy she could go back to bed. Now to do a bit of basic video editing and post this to PHO; we had a message to send. I really hoped this wouldn't get the official Ruggedizer account banned; the marketing team were pretty clear that it was good to make me seem approachable.

…Right, I also need to call for police and ambulances to pick up any survivors. Best to cover all my bases.

---

(Melissa)
It was completely and utterly unsurprising to get a phone call from the PRT less than an hour later. It was Emily Piggot herself.

It quickly became apparent that Piggot was utterly exhausted from being hauled out of bed far earlier than she would like, and basically just groggily venting at me after being told to do something about me by her superiors. That said, it didn't seem like anything particularly troublesome would actually result from this on account of the ass-covering video. Also the fact that Piggot herself was just glad the E88 were gone.

So I said,

"Director, you are clearly exhausted and not thinking clearly. I'll still be here later today; you should go back to sleep."

Then I hung up.

---

(Emmy)
I'm going to be fully honest in admitting that I was a bit of a useless lump for the rest of Sunday; getting woken up about the siege was something I just couldn't get back to sleep over, and the telephone ringing didn't help. The end result is that I felt like my brain was made out of pudding.

Melissa's snuggles were nice though.

After a bit, I asked,

"Can we please just take a break after all that stuff that happened last night?"

Melissa gently brushed my hair.

"Do you really want to put off getting the QUD up and running?"

"No."

"Then either leave me to it, or come and watch."

"I'll at least try and pay attention at least.."

So yeah, I sat around and ate pudding in the lab while Melissa did all the work. It was good pudding. Though I couldn't help but feel that I'd have a lot of catching up to do once I was properly rested.

 

[verycoolname]

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Topic: I Defended Myself against Nazis

In: Boards > News

Built_To_Last (Original Poster) (Verified Cape):
Posted on January 2, 2011

So, some of you may have heard of me, but if you haven't: I'm Ruggedizer, the tinker with a specialization in ruggedization, redundancy, and reliability. I've been selling a variety of products and services for people who want a lifetime guarantee to mean something. And before people say anything: No, I'm not violating Nepea-5.

Last night, the entire E88's cape roster and an accompanying entourage of thugs with guns rolled up to my workshop and declared their intent to kill me and steal my stuff.

Now, just because I'm not selling missiles or laser guns doesn't mean I haven't built any. I gave Kaiser a fair warning, and he still didn't back down. According to New Hampshire's self-defense laws, that meant I was well within my rights to employ lethal force to defend myself. So I did. With aforementioned missiles and laser guns.

Kaiser and his band of parahuman goose-steppers are now dead. Because that's what happens when you mess with a tinker in their workshop.

Anyway, I made this post to calm people down and reassure them that I'm not going to go around killing people, nazi or otherwise. Anyway, I'm going back to bed.

Link to the video Warning: I censored it, but it's still a video of people dying.

Link to New Hampshire's self-defense laws Warning: it's pretty dry reading.

Link to a list of my products Warning: the tinkertech isn't cheap. That said, you get what you pay for.

Bagrat (Veteran Member) (The Guy In The Know):
Replied on January 2, 2011
A bunch of police cars and ambulances were sent to the location of Ruggedizer's base.

It's going to take a bit to identify some of the remains, but it looks like Ruggedizer really did get E88's entire cape roster.

NothinSpeshul:
Replied on January 2, 2011
Wait, isn't Ruggedizer the cape that fixed Fugly's ice cream machine? How did she take on the entire Empire Eighty-Eight and win!?

NameThatCape (Cape Groupie):
Replied on January 2, 2011
@NothinSpeshul
With missiles and laser guns, just like she said, duh. Watch the video.

Poetica1
Replied on January 2, 2011
And hast though slain the Nazi schlock?
Oh, Frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!

...But seriously, though. this made my week.

Goodman (Verified Lawyer):
Replied on January 2, 2011
Great stuff! Love to see someone exercising their right to defend themselves!

And if the 'man' gives you any trouble, remember: "Better Call Saul!"

Lionel_Hutz (Verified Lawyer):
Replied on January 2, 2011
Puh-leaze! You want to sue the nazis? Better call Hutz!

TDH:
Replied on January 2, 2011
...I was not expecting ambulance chasers in a PHO thread.

Can we get back on topic?

theincrediblebulk (Unverified Cape) (Verified Obese):
Replied on January 2, 2011
@TDH
Ignore the sleaze, and they actually aren't that far off-topic. Ruggedizer posted the video to keep the PRT from arresting her for killing over a dozen people. Which... I dunno enough about the law to say whether it'll work or not.

Can we get someone who knows legalese to tell us whether it was actually okay for Ruggedizer to kill a bunch of people the way she did?

Gomez_Addams (Verified Lawyer) (Unverified Cape) (Verified Creepy):
Replied on January 2, 2011
This link here sums it up better than the link the Lady of the Hour posted.

And can I say @Built_To_Last: That was utterly artistic! It truly is a shame that the video had to be censored. my family has already watched it seven times.

AllSeeingEye (Unverified Cape):
Replied on January 2, 2011
TLDR: blah blah, Castle Doctrine, blah blah, depends on the judge. I don't doubt that the PRT could come up with something to arrest her for, and would happily railroad her, despite the fact that she should totally be in the clear.

I mean, look at what they are doing to Bad Canary.

End of Page. 1, 2, 3, ... 7, 8, 9,
(Showing page 5 of 11)

TwistedTranssister:
Replied on January 2, 2011
That's how many capes, gone in less than a minute?

Man, I know Brockton Bay has a reputation, but still...

Drop_the_Baum:
Replied on January 2, 2011
@TwistedTranssister

This is definitely a red-letter day, even for the Bay...

WagTheDog (Verified Dog Lover):
Replied on January 2, 2011
@Drop_the_Baum
Hell yeah it is! No more dog fights! No more lynchings! No more F***ing nazis!

It's time to celebrate!

NegativeNancy (Verified Party Pooper):
Replied on January 2, 2011
@WagTheDog
The gang still exists, you know.

WagTheDog (Verified Dog Lover):
Replied on January 2, 2011
@NegativeNancy
Yeah? and what are they going to do without cape support?

NegativeNancy (Verified Party Pooper):
Replied on January 2, 2011
@WagTheDog
Oh, I don't know, shoot people? I live in the bay, and the thugs with guns and Molotov cocktails do as much damage as the capes, barring a few exceptions like Lung.

WagTheDog (Verified Dog Lover):
Replied on January 2, 2011
@NegativeNancy
I live in the bay too, and I'm telling you, without cape backup, the gang isn't going to survive. Do you really think they are going to go out without a cape to protect them? The police will have a much easier time mopping them up now that they don't have to worry about death by Hookwolf.

Whyte_N_Nerdy:
Replied on January 2, 2011
I want to know what's Lung's reaction to this. I mean, on the one hand, his biggest rivals just all disappeared overnight. On the other hand, he wasn't the one who did it. I'm pretty visibly white, so should I keep my head down, or can I shop at the Asian markets again? (I haven't been able to since I moved here.)

It'd be nice if I could go to a restaurant that serves Dim Sum without someone in red and green accusing me of being a racist shitebag.

XxVoidCowboyxX:
Replied on January 2, 2011
@Whyte_N_Nerdy
You're mom was Occidental.

Whyte_N_Nerdy:
Replied on January 2, 2011
@XxVoidCowboyxX
...Scathing.

Also, it's 'your' not 'You are'

Duckduckm00se:
Replied on January 2, 2011
@Whyte_N_Nerdy
Ignore the troll.

Also, I'd keep my head down for a while regardless of your ethnicity. An entire gang getting wiped out in a night is going to cause chaos.

---

Okay. That's the best I can do and I've got other stuff to do today.

 

[We Just Write]

(Melissa)
The PRT called back at 8AM. It was Piggot again.

"Ruggedizer, I want you to know this call isn't being recorded."

"Why?"

"You never heard this from me, but I'm congratulating you for getting rid of those nazis."

Ah. That kind of call.

"The chief director is pressuring me to at least address what you did last night. If you at least come in for some statements, I can use the excuse of not wanting my people turned to pink mist to leave you alone."

"Would sending a remote-operated body double work? It's not that I don't trust you, but I want to be a bit cautious here."

"That will be fine. How long will you need to get that ready?"

"A couple hours. I've already got most of the parts; I just need to put them together."

We quickly agreed on a time for the official summons, and I got to making my double. By which I meant grabbing one of my spare bodies from storage, taking out the brain, and installing remote control systems in its stead.

Heh, a body double robot making herself a body double robot. What was the world coming to these days?

---

(Emmy)
It was Monday when the news broke. Apparently, four of the unpowered goons the police scooped up after the factory siege weren't so unpowered anymore. Which was learned the hard way by them escaping from police custody.

Details were still sparse, but they were damn sneaky, moved way faster than they were supposed to be able to, and could fling summoned throwing knives with extreme force and accuracy. Also one of them had shrugged off a bullet to the chest.

I couldn't help but groan in exasperation; apparently we hadn't quite managed to rid the city of superpowered skinheads after all. Melissa seemed to agree, as she gently stroked my hair.

Over the course of the week, a couple situations developed. First, we were getting the QUD closer and closer to the point where I'd be willing to get in there myself. By Sunday, we'd gotten the uploading process damn near flawless, and I'd started in on building my new body. We also had a collection of pet robo-rats, resulting from the more successful experiments.

Second, more came out about those four goons.

Each of them emphasized one of their powers: Broadside's knives hit way harder and flew way further, Pillbox could take way more punishment, Runner could go about three times as fast as the rest of them, and Snoop was much better at sneaking around.

On the plus side, they just couldn't get along well enough to keep the Empire together, especially since they didn't have whatever financial heft Kaiser had been backing the operation with. The end result is that the E88 split into two much weaker skinhead gangs; one run by Broadside and Pillbox, the other run by Runner and Snoop.

On a seemingly unrelated note, most of the higher-ups at Medhall had mysteriously vanished, leaving the business in the control of a court-appointed trust until Theo Anders came of age. The investigation into what exactly had happened to them was still ongoing.

---

The ninth of January was a Sunday, and therefore the last day to work on Taylor's strategy for getting justice against her bullies before actually going through with it. As such Melissa, the Heberts and I all showed up for a meeting with Sarah Cobbler again.

I set Taylor's surveillance harness down on the table as the meeting started.

"This is the recording harness we made. It's custom-fitted to Taylor's measurements, has 360 degree camera and infrared coverage, records audio complete with directional data, tracks Taylor's motion with a set of accelerometers, and measures every single one of her vitals we could think of. It also transmits a location signal that Ruggedizer's HUD can track."

Ms. Cobbler grinned.

"Very thorough. Excellent. Any thoughts on where Ruggedizer will be waiting?"

Taylor raised her hand. Melissa motioned for her to speak.

"I actually know a pretty good spot. See, there's this little alley right next to the school's bus stop. Too small for more than one or two people at a time to fit in there, so if my bus drops me off early I hide there until the school's doors open."

Danny looked shocked, but Taylor continued,

"I know I know don't go in alleys. I always check it with a flashlight before I go in, and it's never once been occupied. I'm pretty sure most people forget it even exists."

Melissa also made a note of something.

"Just in case the worst happens, I made what basically amounts to a flying ambulance. It moves using gravity tech derived from Kid Win's work, so it's nice and quiet. Three minute flight to the hospital."

Danny nodded,

"Good. I… I really don't want anything bad to happen to Taylor. Taylor, are you really absolutely certain you want to do this?"

Taylor nodded emphatically,

"Yes. Emma and Sophia need to be stopped."

"It's just… we all know they've got something horrible in store for you. We just don't know what it is, exactly. I can't handle losing more family. Not again."

The idea of making a body double robot for Taylor had been floated, but it got shot down on both ethical and practical reasons. Making a person just so they could suffer a horrible misfortune was all sorts of fucked up, a non-sapient autonomous unit would blow its cover immediately, and Taylor couldn't operate a remote body anywhere near seamlessly enough to pass muster.

So if Taylor really insisted on going ahead with this plan, it was going to be her getting injured.

"Dad, I have to do this. I'll never be able to live with myself if I just let some other kid take my place as the trio's primary target."

And Taylor really was insisting. It was all we could do to mitigate the risk that came with said insistence.

As the meeting wrapped up and we started back towards home, I sighed.

"Melissa, I've got a really bad feeling about this. I'm seriously worried about Taylor."

"Me too. Any ideas?"

"...The QUD. If the absolute worst happens, we can probably get Taylor into a new body before total brain death occurs. I'll slip into my new body this evening, and spend the night making one for Taylor, just in case."

Melissa sucked in a faux breath.

"I can see the logic there. Especially since the factory is a bit closer to Winslow than the hospital. Still, I'm really iffy on the idea of uploading someone without asking first."

"I'm hoping it won't be needed. And if it is needed… I'd rather Taylor be alive and furious with me."

 

[We Just Write]

(Melissa)
I was already waiting in the alley when Taylor was dropped off at school; Danny had opted to drive her personally today, the better to avoid something happening on the bus. Meanwhile the flying ambulance was waiting just above the school, should the worst happen. I really hoped it wouldn't be needed, but better to have and not need rather than need and not have.

The exterior lights on my combat armor were currently turned off for stealth reasons, including my expressive visor. Still, Taylor gave a brief nod in my direction before she went inside. Taylor hadn't even reached the hallway with her locker before a brunette - Madison Clements I think? - yanked the decoy bodycam off Taylor and ran off with it. Taylor gave chase for a little bit but ultimately gave up and started heading towards her locker.

Soon enough I got a nice good look at Madison as she paid a few jocks to try and smash the decoy bodycam with sledgehammers. Ha! They'd need to try a little harder than that to break Reliabuilt products!

As for Taylor herself, she retched as she turned the corner into the hallway with her locker, asking "What in the world is that smell!?"

According to the chemical sensors on the harness… that smell was ammonia. Ammonia along with a bunch of other volatiles let off by rotting flesh.

Still, Taylor trudged onwards. Sophia Hess and Emma Barnes were waiting around Taylor's locker with forced, malicious smiles.

I put two and two together and immediately started dashing for Winslow, before Taylor had even started opening the door to her locker. I practically saw it in slow motion through the surveillance harness; rotting squirrel corpses, broken glass, hypodermic needles, used hygiene products, and a pair of spikes aimed right at Taylor's chest. They'd turned Taylor's locker into something that made an Iron Maiden look civilized by comparison.

Taylor was being shoved forwards into the locker even as I bashed my way through Winslow's front door, not even slowing down for a moment. The medical sensors went wild as all manner of wounds were inflicted upon her, including both of her lungs being punctured by that broken flute.

I'd already started bounding up the stairs as the locker door was slammed shut, the sound recorders clearly indicating a heavy padlock being applied. Half a second later I rounded the corner to see Emma and Sophia at Taylor's locker, a trickle of blood having leaked out the bottom of the locker for the short time it was open.

I didn't hesitate for a moment, tasing the both of them with my electrolasers as I charged. I skidded to a halt, ripped the locker door off its hinges, and yanked Taylor off the spikes. Part of my computerized brain went a bit crazy then, hallucinating giant hyperdimensional space whales swirling around shedding bits of themselves.

The rest of me was still thoroughly up and running, meaning I was able to plot an intercept course to the flying ambulance's fastest pickup point even as I carried Taylor's violated form. I quickly did some mental math: three minutes to the hospital. Two to the factory. Taylor's life was measured in seconds now, so unless Panacea was already at the hospital, going there was as good as killing Taylor.

So I made a decision, and sent a message to Emmy.

"Get the QUD ready, Taylor's dying!"

---

(Emmy)
"Get the QUD ready, Taylor's dying!"

I immediately jumped to work, having robots clear every possible travel path from the factory's entrances to the lab where the QUD was situated. Meanwhile, I hurriedly hooked up the almost completed Taylor body to the uploading machine. The only thing it didn't have yet was skin for the right hand, and that wasn't critical.

I'd just finished when suddenly a third of my brain started hallucinating. Not sure what was going on there, but I made damn sure to start transferring those files to secure archives. Still, I didn't have time to ask since twenty seconds later Melissa damn-near threw Taylor into the QUD, slammed its door shut, and sent the upload command.

Reality lurched, as suddenly my brain flooded with information I just knew I shouldn't have. Knowledge about beings from beyond the stars, dying worlds, the underlying mechanics of parahuman abilities, it was spewing forth in my brain at a nearly incapacitating rate. But I was built tougher than that; it would take way more than a mere DDoS attack to bring me down.

I immediately started saving everything of relevance to archive drives in our factory - most importantly how to shield an area against interdimensional scanning - and was quickly proven correct in that decision when my own brain tried to delete my memories of what had happened so far this morning. No, I was keeping that. For several minutes I fought a mental war against my own power, until finally, eventually, I managed to trick it into thinking it got everything without actually losing any of the critical information that had come through.

It would take time and effort to sort through all of this, but I did manage to recall one very important piece of information: how to shield a brain from interdimensional scanning. …And it turns out we'd already been building all our computers that way anyway. Oops.

As for Taylor, she'd finally woken up.

"Melissa, Emmy? Why am I at your lab? The last thing I remember was getting in the car with dad."

I quickly shared a glance with my sister: under no circumstances do we force Taylor to look at her own corpse. Melissa spoke.

"Taylor, what the bullies did to you was so bad that the only way to save your life was to put you in a synthetic body."

Taylor finally looked at her hand. Her metallic, fleshless hand.

"...Oh. So that means…"

Taylor looked over at the metal door of the QUD.

"So that means my corpse is in there."

I nodded,

"My advice? You'll be much better off if you don't know exactly what happened to you. It was nasty."

"...Does dad know I'm still alive?"

I blinked,

"Right, I'll call him."