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Index
Discord Chatroom

Puente Antiguo Arc (Whole + Bonus)
Arrival
Morning After
Jane Foster...
Index

Xavier Bronze

The Avatar
Location
Metropolis
Index
Discord Chatroom

Puente Antiguo Arc (Whole + Bonus)
Arrival
Morning After
Jane Foster: Interlude
Revelations 21 : 1
Son of a Coul
I Am Become 0-8-4
Earth One
Loki: Interlude
Clint Barton: Interlude
I'm So Screwed
Google Is Your Friend
DC Is Bullshit
Level Zero
Assets and Asgardians
Gods Among Us
#EarthPrimeLivesMatter

The Consultant
Larger Than Life
Jane Foster: Second Interlude
Assholes of SHIELD


Midsummer Night's Dream Arc (Whole + Bonus)
Arrival
An Unexpected Journey
A Solstice Carol
Off To See The Wizard
I'm a Shitty Burglar
Ten Rings To Rule Them All
The Bridge Between Worlds
No Place Like H.O.M.E.

Maria Hill: Interlude
Independence Day
Party For One, Party For All
The Real SHIELD
Harold Rossou: Interlude
The Envoy

Metropolis Arc (Whole + Bonus)
Arrival
Meet Clark Kent
The Assassination of Clark Kent
Meet Lois Lane
Amelia Hamilton: Interlude
Slightly Less In
How To Keep a Super Man Down
Meet James Olsen
Escape From Metro Mercy
Superfriends
Enemy of My Friend

Bored Now
Ship Wrecked
Order in the House


Age of Heroes Arc (Bonus + Whole)
Elseworlds: Lois Lane, Earth 3
Clint Barton: Second Interlude
The Dragon's Lair
Helpless
Only Mostly Dead
Then, Everything Changed
Fire, Water
Dearly Departed
Meet the Bartons

Arrival
Kindred Minds
Hell's Heroes
Hell's Villain
Worthy
Assemble!
Fight As One
Trish Walker: Interlude
Live To Rise
A League of Our Own
Earth's Mightiest Heroes


Ten Rings Arc (Whole + Bonus)
Bitter Work
Now You're Thinking With
The Eve
Ross's Attack
Arrival
Dungeon Crawl
Recovery
Ross's Monsters
A Little Help From My Friends
Xavier Watches Television
Bo
The Master Falls

Xavier Bronze and the Father of Jane Foster
Meet Bruce Wayne
The Other Guy
Presidential
The Winter Solstice
The Legend of Ike: Marley
Elseworlds: Grant Ward, Earth 3


New Year Arc (Ongoing + Bonus)
Arrival
Manhunt
Team Prime
Betrayal in the Gobi
Escape From the Gobi
Sif: Interlude
Miracles Aren't Just For Heroes
The Chase
Meet Travis Morgan
The Eye of Sauron
The Tower of Fear
The Mask of Life
Legacy of Okoto


New York City Arc (Upcoming)
From the Past Arc (Upcoming)
Invasion! Arc (Upcoming)

Alternate Takes (Omakes)

Ragnarok
I'm So Screwed (Part 2)
With This Ring (Part 2)

Mettle of a Man (Quest)
 
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Puente Antiguo Arc
Urgh… What on earth did I drink last night?

I feel sand between my fingers.

That better not be catsand. I'm still in charge of the body, which is pretty cool.

I open my eyes and where the fuck are we. The desert. We're in the fucking desert. Well shit. Where's the nearest desert to PA?

I notice something very wrong when I start to sit up and my boobs shift.

Since when did we have boobs? Not that I'm complaining. Is this some Freaky Friday shit we've walked into? Alex?

I start to panic and fall back to the ground.

Where the fuck is my headmate. I can barely walk without him! I can't live in a body all on my own! The fuck is going on.

I close my eyes again and take a deep breath of dry air.

Ok. Calm down. What do you know? Point 1: I just woke up in the desert, probably dozens of miles at least from where I was a few hours ago. Fact B: I just woke up in a female body exactly like the one I've always imagined for myself. And finally: I just woke up somehow in a brain all on my own, without Alex.

I open my eyes again and watch the constellations change.

Not thinking about that right now.

I stand up and dust off my red flannel shirt. My head is still throbbing and my eyes are blurry from waking up. I look around and notice the weird drawings in the sand around me.

Was this some kind of ritual site? Looks like some Scandinavian Lovecraft shit.

I hear screeching tires and something hits me in the back of the head like a truck. I fall forward on my face.

Ow.

I start to get up again.

Oh. It actually was a truck.

Frikkin' Queen Amidala runs up to me and helps me stand up. What was her name again? Natalie Portman? Or was that the other one?

She says something to me that I process only a second or two after the fact, "I'm so sorry! Are you ok? Where did you come from?"

I accept her help standing. I think I'm still dizzy from
something. Is this a hangover? "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks. Just, not sure how I got here. I think maybe I got a little too drunk last night."

Well that's not true. I remember last night perfectly. There was that concert Alex went to. What was it again? Termerick Truck? Whatever. Maybe he took the wrong train home or something. Except we're in the wrong body. And he's not here. The fuck happened here again?

"Oh my god, Erik! Look at this! We have to move quickly before this all changes."

She's looking at the weird lines around where I woke up. Don't get what the big deal is. Someone got bored and doodled a bunch of squiggly lines around an unconscious person. In the middle of the desert. Ok, maybe that is weird. I think my weirdness censor overloaded back when the stars changed.

An older man, must be Erik, responds to her, "Jane, you ran into her. We should to take her to a hospital."

Padme waves him off "She said she'd be fine. Look! She's fine!"

Erik looks unconvinced, so I nod while I walk out of the sand circle, "Hey, ah, so Where am I exactly? Don't know if I took the wrong train or what but I don't live near any deserts."

Erik gives that old people smile with the laughing eyes, "Must have been quite the night. You're just outside Puente Antiguo, New Mexico. Where are you from? Wichita? Denver?"

I look back over at Padme, scrambling to record the weird lines, and see a third person. A brown haired girl with buck teeth and a hat. "Philadelphia. But I was in Atlantic City last night, on the boardwalk. So who the fuck knows how I got here."

The other girl speaks up, "Are you sure you're ok? You don't have memory loss or anything?"

I laugh and rub my aching head, "I remember waking up right before you hit me just fine, so I doubt it. I'll be fine. I just need to get home and get a drink."

Erik kneels and joins Padme working on the markings, "That might be difficult. There's no airport in Puente Antiguo and the trains don't travel north often. We can see about giving you a ride to the nearest town with a bus stop, but it's a long way to Philadelphia from here."

Well isn't that just perfect
. "Well isn't that just perfect."

Erik shrugs, "I'm sorry I don't have better news."

They finish sketching the circle and start to climb back into their van. It's like a reinforced RV or something, with a bunch of bright lights tacked on to the top for some reason. Didn't Alex see something like that in an ad for Storm Chasers at one point?

Erik waves me over, "Come on in. We'll give you a ride back to town."

I follow them and climb into the back of the van. There's a bunch of equipment that looks like it came off a hollywood set, with too many loose wires and dials than could possibly be functional. A whole wall is covered by one of those stereotypical maps with the pushpins and marker circles and crap that makes it impossible to read for anyone who didn't build the damn thing. The other girl with the hat and glasses climbs into the back with me and closes up before we start moving.

I raise my voice to be heard over the sound of tires on gravel, "So what do I call the other two, Erik?"

He leans around to look back and gestures toward the driver. The driver who hit me. "I'm professor Erik Selvig. This is doctor Jane Foster. The lady in the back with you is Darcy, our intern."

Darcy asks, "And what about you?"

"Xavier. Xavier Bronze."

I guess a fake name might have been smart, but whatever. These seem like good people. Even if they did hit me with a car.

"Isn't that a guy's name?"

I look at Darcy, "Yeah. You're one to talk."

She narrows her eyes, "Touche."


I turn back to the two up front, "So are you guys some kind of UFO chasers or something? Why are you out here?"

Jane leans back from the driver's seat… looking away from the road in the process. How did this woman get a license? "We're astrophysicists. I've been tracking unusual weather phenomena all over this region for the past few weeks. I've been able to predict the last seventeen events down to the second, but this? These lines, the bizarre storm. This is unprecedented."

I turn to Erik, "And that means
...?"

He rolls his eyes, "She's an astrophysicist moonlighting as some kind of storm chaser. She's brilliant, but this isn't her field."

Jane gets set off by that, "There has to be a scientific explanation behind these anomalies. They can't just be random! What did I tell you?"

He nods and mouths along with what she's saying for the next two sentences.

"I told you the next one would be here. I told you it would be the biggest we've seen. Now not only was I right, but we witnessed a spontaneous formation of unusual ground patterning with no probable source."

I look back at the map on the wall with probably weeks worth of data on it. I lean back in my seat as the nerds argue about what the fuck astrophysics has to do with the weather. I need a minute to rest.

So, I'm stranded in Shitsville, New Mexico. I have no idea how I got here, although the crop circle might have something to do with that. I have my own body. Alex is missing. An astrophysicist who looks just like Natalie Portman hit me with a truck.

Jane Foster. Why does that name sound so familiar?

-|-|-

So they took me back to town, dropped me off at the hospital, and ran off again. The nurse told me to stay overnight so they could make sure I wasn't gonna go braindead, which is free bed and shit breakfast. So that's cool.

Right as they're kicking me out the next morning, look who comes storming back in the double doors but Padme, Senator Bubble, and Decoy the intern.

Jane walks up to me dramatically and pokes a finger annoyingly close to my face, "You. Xavier. I'm buying you lunch, and you'r
e telling me what you remember about how you got here."

I lean back and grab her finger, moving i
t farther away, "I already told you I know jack shit. I fell asleep on the train out from Atlantic City and I woke in the middle of the desert. And then you hit me in your car. Thanks for that, by the way. They let me stay here for free. Way better than a hotel. Cheaper too."

Do I have money? It's worth checking. I never bothered to give the hospital any ID except my name, which is useless because I had a different body yesterday anyway. I pat my jean pockets and feel a wallet in the same place Alex usually keeps it. Interesting... I pull it out. Same dorky Star Wars design he had.

Jane starts walking and I follow her. Even if I do have money, free food never hurt anyone. "Do you know what that storm was that you fell out of? It was an Einstein-Rosen Bridge! This could revolutionize meteorology as we know it, and you're right in the middle of it."

I nod along, only half paying attention to what sounds like tv technobabble. Meanwhile, I'm frakking rich. One hundred, two hundred,
three hundred, four hundred… Twenty thousand dollars cash by the time I'm climbing back into her truck. I hope I don't get mugged...

"If these bridges are a natural phenomenon, we might be able to harness them. Controllable, instant transportation from anywhere in the world to anywhere else. Can you imagine the number of potential uses for something like that?"

Also, I have what looks like a genuine ID for Xavier Bronze. I'm gonna guess that the picture is what my new body looks like. It says I was born in '91, which is kind of weird. And it looks like it expired a few months ago. Lame. Why would someone make me a new ID for my new body that's already expired?

"Hello? Xavier? Are you listening?"

Crap. I totally wasn't. "Not even a little. I just noticed my ID is expired. I don't even think I know how to replace an ID."

The car stops in front of a cheesy diner. We all get out and head inside. Smells like meat. Oo
h, that's a perk. I don't have the vegan in my head to stop me from killing some things with my order.

Jane grabs my wallet out of my hand and shoves some thermal imaging pictures at me, "Will you stop it with the wallet! Look. Look at that outline. Do you see that dark spot? That's you, falling out of a wormhole in the sky. You fell asleep on a train in Atlantic City and fell out of the sky in the desert of New Mexico the next day. Aren't you in the least bit curious about how that happened?"

Before we sit down I set the pictures of clouds on the table and she passes me back my wallet, which I pocket. I sigh, and sag back into my chair, "Look, I'm totally overwhelmed here. Yeah, I want to know. Of course I want to fucking know how I got here, and why, and what the fuck happened to Alex. I'd love to know all that. But right now, I have no way of figuring that out, and it doesn't seem like you do either. So you can shut the fuck up and buy me breakfast, and we can talk about it later once I've had some time to deal, or you can turn around and just fuck off and leave me alone, because I'm not in the mood for an interrogation right now."

For the first time since I've met her, Jane is speechless. All three of the others awkwardly stare at me as I look at the menu.

"Who's Alex?"

I look up at Darcy. She's leaning forward, with captured attention. I swallow and take a deep breath, "He's a
... friend of mine. Friend, brother, father figure, whatever. He was on the train with me yesterday. He's basically been by my side my whole fucking life, and I'm way out of my depth, and for the first time he isn't here to help. It's bullshit. I want him back."

The waitress comes by and I order a large hamburger and a coffee.

Erik is the first to break the ice, "I once knew a brilliant up-and-coming physicist, Martin Stein. We used to bounce ideas off one another. Gave us both fresh eyes on whatever we were working on. After a few years, I got so used to having his input that when he joined a new, confidential project, I was paralyzed. For months, I couldn't write or publish anything.
...It's never easy. But I grew past it. We still see each other now and again. I'm sure Alex is fine. He's probably back in Pennsylvania worrying about you as we speak."

Jane offers, "Do you want to use my phone? You could try and call him."

I shake my head, "Nah. He's fine. He's not gone... He's just not here right now."

A few minutes of silence pass.

I'm about halfway through my burger when I look up at Jane, "So Jane. Why do you look exactly like Natalie Portman?"

Jane smiles and tilts her head, "Who?"

I stop chewing, "Get out! Fuck you don't know who Natalie Portman is, have you ever seen a movie? She was in fucking Star Wars!"

Jane continues to look amused and confused in equal order.

"She played what's-her-name in V. She was in that art movie about birds no-one watched except the Academy. She played the obligatory romantic interest in the-"


Wait. No. Stop. Nonononono. Jane Foster. I landed in the desert surrounded by weird markings and then Jane Foster hit me in her van. What was it she said? Einstein-Rosen Bridge the fuck is wrong with me I'm in the MCU. Shit. Am I taking Thor's place? He fell out of the sky after Heimdal banished him. He got hit by a car, went to the hospital, got breakfast at a cheesy diner, and then heard about his hammer from some trucker dudes and went after it.

Jane looks at me funny, "Do you mean Keira Knightly?
...Are you sure you're ok? You seem a little out of it."

I look over at the two dudes sitting at the counter. This is it. If they say what I think they're gonna, this is for real.

"You missed all the excitement out at the crater."

"They're saying some kind of satellite landed out in the desert."

"Yeah, well we were having a good time with it
, until the feds showed up."

"...
Ohhw FUCK ME."


Jane Foster: Interlude

The last twelve hours have been a rollercoaster of exciting new developments. Ever since this woman literally dropped into my life, I've suddenly had more questions than I know how to try and answer. A purely theoretical concept of physics is not only no longer theoretical, but proven to be capable of transporting living things.

But that's far from the only peculiar thing about her. She seems to genuinely have little idea of how she got here. She talks about this friend, Alex, as if they've never spent so much as a day apart. She carries herself as if she's never interacted with other people before, but also bluntly states her frame of mind for all the world to see. And then she asks this.

Of course, I have been told I looked like other people before. My resemblance to Keira Knightly was a running joke on campus at the University. But she didn't say Keira Knightly. She said Natalie Portman, and then ran down a list of Keira Knightly films. Could she just be confusing the name?

I ask, "Do you mean Keira Knightly?"

What's she thinking? I almost always know. But then she'll suddenly flip a switch and become entirely inscrutable. This is one of those times. She just trailed off mid-sentence, and now she's staring off straight behind me. Maybe I did more damage to her head than I thought.

"Are you sure you're ok? You seem a little out of it?"

She doesn't respond. Is she looking at something? I turn around and see two men talking about something. I hadn't been paying attention, but apparently Xavier had. Something about a crashed satellite? I'm about to ask them about it when-

"Ohhw FUCK ME."

-Xavier stands up, yells, and slams her hands down on the table. She's really upset about something. The oddities continue.

What does she have against satellites?

...Her hands are on fire.

Her hands are on fire!

I throw my coffee at her to try and put it out. How and when did her hands catch fire? There are no ignition sources nearby. And why doesn't she look more bothered by it?

Erik tackles her to the ground and puts out the flames with his jacket. He removes the jacket and examines her injuries, "You're not burned."

How can that be? Her hands were totally engulfed! I rush around the table to see it for myself and stub my toe on the leg of the table in my haste.

Ignore the pain for now. I have observations to make that are more important.

I reach for one of her hands. One of the ones that were covered in red-hot fire only moments ago. I feel her very smooth, entirely unharmed skin, "That's… impossible."


-|-|-

Jane, the movie character, throws her coffee at me. Rude. What's she looking at? Oh.

My hands are on fire.

...Is it too much to ask for two seconds from one world-altering revelation to the next? I guess this new body isn't exactly how I imagined it. At least I don't remember ever imagining myself with superpowers.

Erik tackles me and smothers my hands against the floor with his jacket. Surprisingly enough the fire actually goes out. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, running through the exercises Alex used to use to control his temper. Fire powers activated at a stress and anger high point. Doesn't take a genius to connect the dots and say my mood had something to do with it.

Erik removes his jacket and grabs my hands, checking them for burns. His face briefly imitates Archimedes seeing a Model-T for the first time, "You're not burned."

Jane kicks the table on her way over to see for herself. She grabs one of my hands and runs her thumb over the skin, "That's... impossible."

Darcy stands on her toes to get a look, "Woah." She takes out her phone and takes a picture.

I'm still reeling from the fact that I'm in a movie. If I'm replacing Thor does that mean I'm supposed to go get his hammer? Would Odin's magic consider me worthy? I don't think it would. But then, if I don't get it and Thor doesn't either, does it just sit there? Who else would be worthy? Vision isn't built yet, and won't be without Thor's lightning anyway. Didn't Natasha use it in the comics? I wonder if there's a Beta Ray in this universe and fuck am I ever getting sidetracked. The hammer so isn't the important thing right now.

Jane grabs my other hand and turns it over a few times, "This really can't be possible."

I pull my hands back and give her a glare, "And yet here we are."

Erik is staring past me, probably recounting the events in his head, "Quite extraordinary. Do you know anything about this?"

I shake my head and look at my own hands for a second, "Not a clue. Never happened before."

Jane is pacing now, "Maybe some kind of mutation from whatever transported you here? The same phenomenon could be responsible for the markings around where the wormhole dropped you."

Darcy butts in, "You're like Superman."

Erik looks like he needs an aspirin and I really don't blame him, "Mutation. Jane, you sound like you're talking about science fiction."

I steal her next line, "Frequent precursor to science fact."

Jane does a doubletake in my direction with her jaw looking like a nutcracker, before she finally resolves to pointing at me and saying, "Exactly."

Darcy smirks, "Plus, it's kind of hard to call it fiction when we all just saw it happen."

The four of us then remember where we are. We look around at the rest of the diner. Everyone's staring at me. Most at my hands. A few at… other places. Flattered, but on the other hand...

I stand up, "Let's go."

Jane nods wildly and grabs her bag, "Yeah, that might be a good idea. We could use a more private setting to figure this out in."

On our way out I review my situation again. Fuck me I'm in the past, aren't I? When did Thor even come out? It was one of the early ones, wasn't it? 2010? 2009? If I were gonna try and follow the story I'd have to become "worthy", whatever that means, steal the hammer from SHIELD and fight the Destroyer in a day or two. But would this fire stuff make the hammer obsolete? Is it powerful enough to fight the Destroyer? That hammer is pretty sweet. It would definitely come in handy. How did Thor manage that anyway? I feel like Jane was important somehow.

I briefly consider that I might be able to seduce Natalie Portman.

Then I see the G-Man in the driver's seat of Jane's truck. Oh, that's right. SHIELD stole her stuff in this movie. Fuck, SHIELD is stealing her stuff!

She runs past me and I too run to keep up. She yells at him, "Hey! What do you think you're doing?"

I roll my eyes. Does she really think he's gonna stop just because she's here to yell at him?

He's already started the engine. When he pulls out of the parking space I consider trying for a fire blast before I realize that even if it worked Jane wouldn't appreciate me blowing up her car.

We get to it just in time to catch some dust with our faces as he zooms off. I turn to Jane and grab her shoulder to get her attention, "If you want to save anything from your lab we have to get over there right now."

She gives me a "How do you know that?" look, before turning to run, full-speed. Apparently she opted to listen to me. Sweet. I follow her.

By the time we get there there's a small horde of Men in Black picking the place apart for anything that looks even vaguely scientific and loading it all into a series of black trucks. In the center of it all is the man himself. Jane doesn't know that he's anything different from the rest of 'em, but I know better. I remember.

I walk up to him and say, "Agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD."

That shuts him right the hell up, and I can see him reading through scripts and protocols in his head. After a second or so of pause, he finally decides none of it applies, "And who are you?"

I just stumped the future Director of SHIELD. And doesn't that just make me feel like I could take on the whole goddamn world. I smirk openly, and reach out my hand, "I'm Xavier."

Coulson accepts the handshake in that polite but careful way that people do when they don't really trust someone, "Do we know each other from somewhere?"

I shake my head, "Not even a little bit. You don't know me, anyway. How's that 0-8-4 going, by the way? Still stuck in the ground like a bad piece of spinach?"

He's not showing any fear. But I can feel him sizing up the best way to take me down if things come to blows. I really don't want to have to find out if I can win a fight just yet. He maintains his practiced, pleasant smile, "I think you might know the answer to that better than I do." Oh, that's an excellent response. Giving me zero information that I might not already have. He's not falling for the false omniscience claim. "Care to tell me where your clearance comes from? I wouldn't want to commit treason by accident."

I see Jane shouting up a storm with the other agents behind him.

I cross my arms, "My clearance comes from me. I know about the 0-8-4 you recovered. I know it's shaped like a hammer and no-one you've got can move it. I know SHIELD has been active a hell of a lot longer than the few years you claim because Peggy Carter founded it not long after World War 2. I know the Hulk is real, and that its real name is Bruce Banner. I know about the Avengers Initiative and I know Tony Stark doesn't qualify, but you're gonna let him in anyway. I know about your girlfriend, the cellist. And I know that there's an invasion coming that's gonna kill you and throw Hell's Kitchen to the dogs unless we stop it."

I can almost see the motors whirring in his head through the vein that appears briefly as I'm talking. He takes a second or two to prepare a response, "So what are you? Some kind of Clairvoyant?"

While Jane is making a fuss and drawing attention Erik snags two notebooks into his coat.

"God no. That's not a title I want. Just someone in the wrong place at the wrong time." About five years wrong, actually. "Do you believe I know what I know?"

He nods lightly, "I believe you believe it. Whether or not it's true is a different matter."

I shrug, "From the mouths of babes. Believe it or not I'm only two years old, whatever my ID says."

He allows me to see him looking me over this time, "You don't look it. What would your parents think if they knew you were here causing trouble?"

Darcy trips and stumbles into one of the agents, somehow managing a perfect bump-and-lift pickpocketing. Gotta ask her how she learned that later.

"You mean creator, and he's not here. But he'd probably giggle himself silly. He loves you guys."

I can tell I've got his unbridled curiosity now, "Creator? You make it sound like you're some kind of android. It would explain the age."

Jane grabs some gizmo out of someone's hand with all the audacity she can manage. Erik and Darcy make a show of holding her back, and pocket one more item each in the process of returning and apologizing for what Jane stole.

"Or a synthezoid. So now you're searching your brain for all the most brilliant minds that might be behind this. Stark, Pym, Cho. Maybe Osborn or Parker or Richards. But that kind of technology's years off. And even then, it wouldn't look like me. But then again, I could just be lying."

"And it wouldn't explain what you know. You understand I'm going to have to take you into custody now. We can't just let a leak like this go unnoticed. Bad for publicity."

I hold my wrists up in a mock handcuffs pose, "Yeah, yeah. Take me home and tie me up and I promise I'll whisper sweet nothings into a polygraph for you."

The three others cut their losses and make their exit, Erik and Darcy pretending to drag Jane away. Or maybe they really are dragging her away. It's hard for me to tell if she's playing it up or if she's just naturally that overdramatic.

One of the other agents hands Coulson a pair of single-piece cuffs with no keyhole and he puts them on me, "You shouldn't talk like that. What would the cellist say if she knew?"

I test the cuffs, which holy crap aren't going anywhere, "I think she'd have a lot bigger questions if she knew everything you did at work."

Two agents grab me by either arm and shove me into the back seat of one of the trucks filled with appropriated goods. After a few seconds I feel a painful prick on my wrist, and something burrowing into my skin. My hands go numb, followed by my elbows, arms, shoulders, and the last thing I hear is the engine starting.


-|-|-

I wake up with a bag over my head. Wow, real original guys. Someone pulls it off and I'm in the same brightly lit interrogation room they put Thor in. So far I haven't been able to change much about the course of events, so i better start rearing for a showdown tomorrow.

But wait a minute. Loki only sent the Destroyer to kill Thor. What happens when Heimdal looks and sees Thor's not on earth like he's supposed to be? Fuck, where is Thor anyway? That completely slipped my mind. Is Thor stuck in Alex's brain back home? What the fuck happens when the Asgardians can't find Thor? Would they avenge him after he'd been banished? They made him mortal, so they had to know it was a possibility. Then again, his banishment wasn't exactly a popular decision if I recall. Lady Sif and the Three Stooges will definitely be looking. Can they trace his disappearance back to me? I landed right where he should've. Who am I kidding, they're fucking magic gods. One of 'em is gonna know.

I should probably pay more attention to the puny humans who tied me to this chair now, "Hey Hawkeye."

Clint Barton nods back at me from the corner of the room, "Hey."

I smile, "You must be good cop. So where's the-"

My chair tips forward until the back is darn near parallel to the ground and then stops. I stretch my neck but can't get far enough to see anything except the floor. I hear boots as the person behind me walks around the chair, holding it back from crushing my face. I see combat boots and a black longcoat.

I couldn't possibly have kicked up enough shit to warrant a visit from him, could I?

A woman's voice, not Scarlet Johansson, "Who do you work for?"

I wonder what happens when I don't answer? "You're not who I thought you were. Where's Fury?"

My chair drops and I instinctively turn my head to soften the blow. I open my eyes a moment later to find my cheek about a millimeter from touchdown. If I hadn't flinched I'd have a broken nose now.

Barton sighs, "Look, Ms. Bronze, There are maybe a hundred thousand people alive who know that name. You're in deep already. The best thing you can do is be straight with us, and maybe then we can reach a settlement that lets you see the outside of a cell sometime before your bicentennial.

I nod what little I can in the given space, "You're right. Sorry. Just being a pill. Nah, it's just me. I don't work for anyone."

I get lightheaded at how fast I whip backward into an upright position and come face to face with… the not-mother, "SHIELD has the best security network on the planet and you expect us to believe you broke it all by yourself?"

I smile, "Agent Hill, I didn't break it by myself. I bypassed it completely by accident." She glances downward and I follow her eyes to a green light on the left arm of the chair I'm in. Must be a lie detector, "I hate fudge." The light flashes red and beeps at us. Yup. Lie detector. "I'm honored that I merit investigation from the Assistant Director, by the way. I didn't think I was that important."

She looks at me sternly, coldly, "You represent the most severe information breach SHIELD has suffered since its inception." I know that's not true, but if I say anything, Hydra will definitely hear about it and kill me, so I let her continue uncorrected, "Now I'm only going to ask this once. Where did you get your information?"

Just as I'm about to open my mouth, Barton interrupts, "She says once, she means once. The next thing that comes out of your mouth isn't the whole truth and nothing but, after this things get unpleasant, and you will regret not telling her upfront."

Thanks, I wasn't planning on testing that one, Good Cop.

"My friend Alex shows me a lot of movies..."


I almost leave it there. But on the other hand... torture.

"A few of them are about you guys."

Maria looks entirely unamused, and Clint voices her concern, "If this doesn't start making sense soon-"

"I'm from another earth. Let's call it Earth Prime. I dropped through a wormhole late last night and found myself here. On this earth. Let's call it Earth 1."

Agent Hill looks down at the green dot on my chair that says I'm telling the truth, "Another earth."

I nod, "Yeah. Ever hear of the many worlds hypothesis?"

She groans, "That's not how the many worlds hypothesis works."

"Well whatever it is, it's real. I'm from a different earth, and that's how I know what I know."

Barton asks, "And how exactly does that work?"

I take a deep breath, "See, on Earth Prime, all the big events on Earth 1 are pieces of fiction."

Maria sighs, looking once more at the green light "Fiction."

"Movies and tv shows. I recognized all of you because you look exactly like the actors who played you back on Earth Prime. My friend Alex was a big fan of your movies, and he showed me pretty much all of them. Took me a while to realize where I was, but it helps that we're smack in the middle of one of those movies right now."

Clint questions further, "And what do you mean by that exactly."

"I mean there was a movie about someone landing in the desert of New Mexico. They met Jane Foster and Erik Selvig. SHIELD found a hammer that gave off wacko energy readings. The whole shebang. Except in the movie it wasn't me."

He asks, "Who was it?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. But that hammer you found is his. If things stay on script a big magic alien robot is due to arrive in the town near here sometime tomorrow, and the guy who was supposed to fight it off isn't here. I have pyrokinetic abilities, and if you help me figure out how to use them, I might be able to beat it. But I can't do you any good strapped into this goddamn chair. So cut me loose and get me a punching bag or at least call in some reinforcements. This thing was forged by the gods, it's pissed off, and if nothing changes it's coming whether you're ready for it or not."

Ok, so maybe it's not coming. But maybe it is. Considering the circumstances it might be better for me if it is, so that's what I'm gonna tell them. And if I don't think about it too much I can even believe it myself.

Maria puts her head in her hands, "What reason do we have to believe any of this?"

I look down at my restraints, "Because this chair seems to think I know my shit. And you know I'm not crazy, because I know Director Nick Fury used to be the Sergeant of an elite group called the Howling Commandos, and that you have in your possession an object called the Tesseract that the Red Skull used to create Nazi superweapons. And I know you're working on the exact same thing, or at least planning on it."

The two of them look at each other and shuffle on their feet for a bit.

I look between them, "I could keep going. Tell you about the illegal human enhancement AIM is doing, or the story of how Agent Romanoff was recruited into your service. Where is Romanoff anyway? Is Vanko keeping her busy with his Hammerbots?"

Maria smirks at me, looking for all the world like she just checkmated Bobbie Fisher, "You don't know as much as you think."

I meet her eyes, "Maybe so. The movies are a bit vague on some points, and I don't remember them perfectly. But I do know that there's an invasion coming in 2012, and you aren't ready for it. The movies are very fucking clear about some things. The Tesseract isn't a toy, and there's a much bigger, weirder world out there that you just invited to come play. The battle of New York ravages Hell's Kitchen and kills Agent Coulson, even with the efforts of Stark and Banner and a literal divine intervention."

Hill is obviously thinking very hard about something, "He mentioned what you said about the invasion. He also said you claimed to be artificial."

"I never said I was artificial. I said I was created. And I was. No parents, no real childhood. It's complicated to explain, and frankly unimportant. I'm here now."

"You said you have "pyrokinetic abilities"? We ran a blood test. You're human, as far as any of our instruments can tell."

Time to prove my word, then. I think about how annoying it is that they don't believe me, even though they drugged me and hooked me up to this stupid chair. I think about how they stole all of Jane's equipment, even though she was the best possible person to use it. I think about my friend Jordan, and how I'll never get to talk to her again. And I think about Alex, and how fucking lost he's gonna be without me there to keep him on track.

Nothing happens. Huh.

I look back at Agent Hill, "I don't have enough control over it to show you, but you can ask anyone who was at the diner this morning. They all saw it. My hands caught fire and weren't burned at all after. I don't know how it works either."

Maria nods, "We could do that. Or there's a faster way to check your claim. Agent Barton? If you would."

She holds out her hand. Barton pulls an arrow out of his quiver that immediately ignites.

...Well crap. This is gonna suck.

Maria takes the arrow and walks back over to me. My hands are locked into a bracer type thing on the armrest, so there's nothing I can do to stop her when she presses the arrow against my skin.

It hurts. It hurts a fuckton. Fucking hell that hurts! It didn't hurt at all at the diner!

She takes the arrow away and looks at the severe burn on the back of my hand. I stop screaming. Not sure when I started.

In between panting breaths I speculate, "I guess I'm only immune to my own fire. Better to learn that now, I guess. Still… Fuck you. That was a dick move. You've already got me on a lie detector. And if your truth serum is finished yet I'm guessing you have me on that too. Besides, who'd make this shit up? It's weird as fuck."

Maria Hill and Hawkeye are both silent for a few seconds. I'm still recovering from the torture that I thought I had told them everything to avoid. Agent Hill is glaring at the chair's green light again like she can fix reality through intimidation, and Clint… looks a little bored.

Maria faces me again and states very officially, "We'll be back."

She gestures and Clint follows her out the door. The mirrored door shuts behind them and…

There's a god standing three feet from me. And I'm tied to a chair.

Loki looks at me with utter contempt,

"Where is my brother?"


Loki: Interlude

Thor shouts at our father, "You are an old man and a fool!"

I keep my smile hidden under the strongest conjuration I can manage. I could have never dreamed that disrupting his coronation would lead to such glorious recompense. Thor's avarice and hubris finally shine too brightly for Odin to ignore.

Odin responds, "I was a fool. To think you were ready."

Time to show support for my beloved brother, as is expected of me for my future king, "Father, I-"

The bellow that comes from the Allfather's mouth makes it clear my words mean still less than I could have hoped. After centuries of boundless praise, my father finally sees Thor for all he is.

Odin speaks in much more than sound. I can see the words in their true form as they reshape the energies of the universe to fit their will. The breath of life speaks in concert with him, "Thor Odinson, you have betrayed the express command of your king. Through your arrogance and stupidity you've opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horrors and desolation of war!" His staff slides into the centerpiece of the Bifrost and the room around us writhes into action, "You are unworthy of these realms. You are unworthy of your title. You are unworthy!" I see the last word brand onto the bones of Thor's soul, "...of the loved ones you have betrayed."

The sweet irony falls lost on all but myself.

"I now take from you your power. In the name of my father, and his father before, I, Odin Allfather, cast you out!"

I… I never expected this. I knew great magics were at work on this day, but I never once would have dreamed he would go as far as to banish Asgard's most loved prince. The shock that graces my features has no need to be fabricated, as I watch my brother cast through the Bifrost, stripped of all the divine and mystic might he once personified.

"Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor."

The technicality is of course clear to my eyes. Thor need not be the only one to be worthy of his power. If someone else claims the hammer, Thor has but a century at most to live.

Odin throws Mjolnir through the portal into Midgard, and my greatest obstruction to the throne is removed by command of the king, my predecessor.

But then, I turn my glance toward Thor, and find… nothing.

I look again. I look near Mjolnir, where the Bifrost opened, across the seas in the land he once lauded his divinity, and everywhere else I can think of. I search for magic, only to remember that it won't work, because he's mortal now. I read the messages that the humans cloud their air with, and see nothing beyond images of his hammer falling.

I turn to the Allfather, "Father, something's wrong. Thor is-"

He walks out of the Bifrost chamber in a storm that invites no further discussion of the matter, "Thor is no longer my concern."

I relocate to wherever Heimdal is, "I need you to find Thor."

Heimdal pauses sharpening his sword for a moment, "Thor is no longer within my sight."

"Is he shrouded the same as the Frost Giants were?"

Heimdal stops and bows his head, "No. Your brother is gone. Where Odin sent him is not in the Nine Realms, days past, present, or yet to come. He is beyond, whether in the void or simply elsewhere I do not know. But his place is not mine to know."

I grow angry. The impertinent apathy of his actions and tone offend my brother's memory, "Does this not bother you as it does I? Even the realms of death are within your sight, and yet he is somewhere even more distant."

"Indeed it does bother me. But I can no more summon him back from a place I cannot see than I can change the Allfather's mind and reverse his banishment. There is nothing to be done."

I leave him, and go to my own chambers to contemplate. Thor is banished. More than banished, he has been removed. I didn't even know that it was within Odin's power to do. I've always dreamed of having Thor gone, but never had I thought it may come to pass. And now I find myself wondering if it was ever what I truly wanted at all. There's a part of me that the mask I wear is based on, that sincerely regrets his loss. And there's another part wondering why father would go to such extremes to punish such a small infraction. And there's a yet larger part that doesn't care, and simply revels in the glory of inevitable kingship.

I summon the materials I need, and prepare to scry the place and time of his banishment. After a few moments of setting the stage I gaze into the events once more, from a greater perspective.

Again, the sheer power wielded by the Allfather is a terrifying happening to behold. I see all of Thor's power removed and implanted in a seal on Mjolnir. Thor flies through the rainbow bridge and…

...is gone. The scry ends.

I reset and make the attempt once more, this time focusing not on him, but on the gateway itself. The Bifrost was certainly directed at Midgard at the time he was sent through.

I watch the path itself, carving its way across dimensions of time, space, reality, and mind. The scry struggles to comprehend it at the marvel of Asgardian engineering in play. But it holds, and I see everything. I see the bridge, Asgard, Thor, Mjolnir, and Midgard, all at once. I see Thor enter the Bifrost stream. I see him fly toward Midgard, at both dizzying speeds and at once slow enough for a safe landing. I see the other end before him.

And I see something else land in his place.

Thor is gone.

I see it again. He travels through the Bifrost. But he never arrives at Midgard. Something else, something that never entered the rainbow bridge, suddenly… is, right on the threshold of one realm to another.

This thing, is from Beyond. This must herald from where Thor is now. I reset the scry, with a new target at hand. This creature that dares enter my Nine Realms. It carries two spirits, one much mightier than its host. Its power pales in the shadow of a god. But I also see within it a great connection to something vast and dangerous. This
... violation cannot be allowed to stand!

The humans have forgotten the might of Asgard, and it is not their time to be conquered yet. I can be patient. I will wait until the abomination is alone, and then I will rend the answers I need from its soul if it will not give them willingly.

But first, I must go to the Casket of Ancient Winters, and uncover an illusory deceit older than my deepest living memories. On this day or the next, I will find the answers I seek.


Clint Barton: Interlude

I follow the Deputy Director out of the room. She's on edge. This whole situation has everyone waiting for the other shoe to drop. And if this new mystery woman's telling the truth, that's due to happen sometime tomorrow.

The soundproofed door barely closes behind us before the Deputy Director is on the comms, "I need verification that the EKG and micro expression readers in the containment room are operational." She turns to me, "Do you think she's telling the truth?"

I shake my head, "I think those toys know better than I would. But if you're asking… yeah. She believes it, at least. She's scared out of her mind of whatever she thinks is coming."

Honestly, nothing surprises me anymore. In my years with SHIELD I've seen things most people would outright deny were happening in front of their eyes. Saw a few things before then, too. After the Hulk, Pym's old tech, Hydra's old tech, SHIELD's new tech, Stark's new tech, a few run-ins with the League, giant reptiles in the sewers of New York, plus whatever happened to that couple in Central City, not to mention the guy in blue It's a long list that adds up to a crazy world. And if someone tells me that a magic alien robot is gonna fall out of the sky, I'm inclined to believe them.


The Deputy Director opens comms again, "Someone get me an advil." She turns back to me again, "Ok, better question. Do you think she's been brainwashed, or do we actually call in reinforcements for something we don't even know exists yet?"

"You know everything I know. It's your call, Agent Hill."

She growls for a second, "I don't know what to think. I'm asking you. SHIELD has been earth's first line of defense against the things no-one wants to know about for over fifty years. But could there really be other earths out there? She registers human, but there are no records of her except the falsified ID she had on her."

Someone gives her a pill case with a few low-level pain killers in it. I shrug, "Coulson's report said she mentioned synthezoids. She could be that, or some kind of clone. Doctor Dyne could be behind this. Implanted memories maybe. There are a lot of things she could be, but I don't think crazy is one of them."

"We need to think about this objectively. Risk assessment: How likely is it that something is going to happen tomorrow?"

Why is she asking me? I know she's stressed, but there are a lot of other people more qualified to advise her right now. Like Coulson. I could tell her to go talk to him. I could, "If someone put the memories of those movies in her head they did it for a reason. If someone's behind this, they wanted her to tell us. So either the warning's genuine, or it's a diversion. Either way the threat is real."

The Deputy Director nods and stares at the door, "I'll tell Fury to keep an ear to the ground."

"Sir, we may need more than that, if what she's saying is true."

"If what she's saying is true, we're gonna need more than we've got."

I fiddle with my new quiver, pushing the buttons on my glove that rotate between arrowheads. Ever since I got it a few weeks ago the sound of it clicking from one arrow to another helps me think. I'm not quite used to it enough for active combat yet, but I'm getting there, "Maybe not. Do you know where Project Icarus is?"

She gives me a look, "Project Icarus is still under construction-"

I interrupt, "Icarus has been 'still under construction' for the last two years. Do you know where it is?"

She meets my eyes and we have a quick silent conversation about protocol and clearance levels and plausible deniability before she responds, "Yes, I do know where it is."

"Then it might be time to call in a favor."

She squints at me, "Do you really think she's telling the truth?"

I think about it for a moment. After years of service, all I've seen. I look at that girl, Xavier. I see fear. I see the same fear in her that I had a long time ago. She's trying to stay afloat, but she doesn't know the water. She's dangerous. But in the same circumstances, who wouldn't be? She's not a spy, she's not a killer, and she doesn't want to be either. That makes her worth protecting, and that makes her an ally. Doesn't mean we have to trust her, but it does mean we can listen.

"Yeah. I do."

She stands there and thinks for a few seconds. And then, "Agent Barton, take a walk."

So I do. I go up and watch over the hammer for a bit. I watch the hustle and bustle of a bunch of people smarter than me doing things I barely understand. Maybe if this girl's right there'll actually be a reason for someone like me to be here.

My comms buzz alive and the Deputy Director calls me back, "Agent Barton, report to the containment room."

I head back and see her getting off the phone with someone, presumably Fury. I nod to her, and she nods back and we get ready to go back in.

I stop her just before she opens the door, "Hey, Agent Hill, mam, go a little easier on her. Coulson recommended you play Good Cop, remember?"

She nods again, "Yeah. Thanks, Barton."

Then she opens the door and we go back in.

-|-|-

I almost try to form another fireball, but realize real fast that it wouldn't do any good. Fricking Asgardians. Literal gods or ancient aliens, either way they're overpowered as fuck. And if this is anything like when he visited Thor, he's probably invisible and intangible right now anyway, assuming he's even really here and not in a tea shop in china or something. He's got indestructibility, teleportation, illusions, mind control, fucking magic and whatever all else that can do. I've got fire I can't activate or control, and I'm tied to a chair. I'm not fighting my way out of this.

I make a point of looking him right in the eye, "I assume you heard everything I just said."

His lip jerks upward in a sneer, "Yes, that you're from another world. That none of this is real. What did you call it? Earth Prime? It's a nice story."

"It's the truth." That's really all I have to work with now. I'm hooked up to a SHIELD brand lie detector, probably with some kind of truth serum in my system, and the God of Deception is standing right in front of me. Lying now would be basically suicide.

"I know it is. You don't have what it takes to lie to me."

He stares at me, into my eyes. I feel thoughts that aren't mine and for the briefest moment I think it might be Alex. But it's not, of course. It's Loki. I know I can't stop him from reading surface thoughts, but I try to steer the juicy stuff out of his sight, like any movie he's in, or any movie that hasn't happened yet. On second thought I just try not to think about the movies at all. I focus on Loki's shoes, examining every detail. Those things can't be practical...

He cackles, "A fine effort, but meaningless. Even if I can't enter your mind directly, I know the truth in every word you utter, and if you refuse to speak I can make you."

The only reason my defenses are so good is because I'm used to having other people in my brain, and I know exactly how thought sharing works. Lucky thing. I think about smiling, but don't want to die, "Or you could just ask. I'm in no position to deny you, and I know it."

He repeats his question, "Then where is Thor?"

"If I could tell you, I would. Frankly, you terrify me. But I don't know where he is. I can tell you he was supposed to be where I am now. I can tell you anything you want about Earth Prime."

I don't have to fake my fear at all. On the screen he was silly as bubblegum shit, with the giant stupid hat and the poor man's LotR dialogue performed with all the ham Tom Hiddleston could serve. But in person… I know SHIELD is watching, and I know they can't see a damn thing because he doesn't want them to. He's a god. He's a fucking magic god. He could be stark nude with cheese on his head and there would be nothing funny about it. He could kill everyone in this facility, and the town nearby, and there's nothing anyone short of Iron Man could do to stop him.

He waits for a few seconds. I can feel him poking at the edges of my headspace a few times, almost testingly. I'm not thinking about anything dangerous, so a surface scan won't get him much. I'm too focused on not panicking like a cockroach when the lights just turned back on. Funny, that being scary is actually working against him.

Loki becomes more… where he is, like a probability field collapsing into a particle. And I think briefly that that may actually be what just happened. He finally asks, "You really don't know where he is."

I shake my head, "Sorry. All I know is that he was supposed to land in that desert instead of me. He might be back in Earth Prime. But he could be anywhere. If you're here I'm guessing Heimdal couldn't see him, which means we have to consider that he might be dead."

I expect an outburst, and I see him react to that last word. But being still alive a second later is nice too.

He asks, "This… Earth Prime. How did you get here, from there?"

I laugh a little, "I fell asleep? I'm pretty sure whatever did it came from this side, or somewhere else completely. I don't have the kind of power to open breaches like that. I'd guess whatever dropped me here probably took him away too, though."

He smirks, "No, you don't have enough power for that. But you do have power. I can see it in the dual nature of your soul, and the tattered corners of your mind. Is this the normal state for people whence you came?"

I freeze. Can… he see Alex? Or is he just seeing the spot where Alex used to be? Urgh! Stupid ominously vague Asgardian phrasing! Just say what you fucking mean! "No, it's not normal anywhere, as far as I know."

He tilts his head, "It surprises you that I can see, what you are, what you were. How can one achieve such clear essence of self without even the most basic study of psychic practices?"

I sigh. Better tell him what's up, "Can you see how old this body- my body is? Not biologically or anything. How old the actual body is, in time."

His gaze is more than sight. I can feel it penetrating every layer of my body, like a really fucking cold wind somewhere north. It's like if x-rays were done with knives, thin enough to not leave injuries, but sharp enough to go through anything. It's extremely offputting, and makes me want to take a shower.

He says what he sees, "This isn't your natural form. You were encased here, when you traveled to this realm. The stitching is expertly done. Nigh perfect, such that I didn't see until now what had been done." He turns off his god eyes and looks up again at my face, "What were you, in your own realm? Not human, I think."

"You think wrong. Human. As human as human can be, here or there. Just a little newer than most. Do you know how the Allfather created the rest of the gods?"

Loki sneers, "He didn't create all of us. But he possesses in his being the breath of life. He can grant life, and further divinity to anything he wills, with a simple touch and a word of power."

I don't remember that from the comics, "While that's interesting and all, it's not as useful as I was hoping in describing how I was made. And I can't reference Harvey, because you're from a different planet and I don't even know Harvey exists in this universe. Tell you what, just read my mind."

He's surprised at that, but quickly complies. I feel him, like a pressure. I think about Alex, and how he made me, and the years when he supressed me, and the weeks when he didn't. I think about what we read, about what I am. I think about the feeling of familiarity I had when we first saw descriptions of others like me, like getting a joke months after its been told. And I think about waking up in the desert, without him, with my own body, and how wrong it felt.

I feel Loki leave and he smiles, "You are a parasite of the mind, given form in a new world. Be thankful that he is rid of you."

My hands clench and I glare, "I'm a person. I've got the same right to brain and body as any other person. And since I've gotten here, I've managed to get hit by a truck, catch on fire, twice, get arrested by the most dangerous organization on the planet, and piss off probably your whole fucking pantheon of gods. If I had to guess, I'd say Alex isn't doing too hot without me either. We take care of each other… Or at least, we did." Who would ever choose to inhabit this bleak world alone?

We just sort of stay there and stare at each other for a few seconds. I have no idea what's going on in his head, and that scares the shit out of me. Metaphorically, anyway.

I talk first, "So are you gonna kill me?"

He opens his mouth to answer, and then smiles and he takes a step back.

The door opens again and my two agents come in.

And of course Loki's gone. Stupid Asgardian teasing cockbite.


-|-|-

Maria addresses me, "We've decided that the mysterious circumstances of your appearance merit increased security measures."

I grin, "You're listening to me."

Hill tenses up, "We think there is a likely danger to this region. We've called in additional assets in case of future complications."

I laugh, "Haeo! You can't fool me with all that political jargon crap. You're taking my advice! You believe me!"

Barton looks at the floor between his shoes, "Don't push your luck, kid."

"If I didn't push my luck I wouldn't exist now. It's part of my charm. Don't fuck it up."

He smiles. Ha! I knew it! SHIELD likes me. Well… they're not gonna kill me, at least. That's something to start from.

"Are you gonna let me out of this fucking chair now?"

They share a look, and I can tell Clint is my advocate. She turns back to me and pulls out a little garage-clicker-thingy. The chair beeps and my right arm is free!

...And my left arm isn't. It's still hooked up to the lie detector. But my legs are free too. After testing a little bit I figure out that my left arm is the only thing still strapped in. I stand up as much as I can. I try and lift the chair a little, but that's not going anywhere. Hill's gotta bench a dozen eggs to throw it around like she did.

She hands me a tablet, "This device is heavily monitored. At the slightest attempt to access the SHIELD database it will tase you into unconsciousness and alert every agent in the compound. Read only, so don't try to contact anyone either."

I smile as the two move to leave the room, "Thanks."

I know they're just doing this so they can see what I do. Every word I type, every site I visit, can be put on some kind of watchlist, to figure out what I know. And maybe more importantly, what I don't. But I really don't give a damn. Heck, I'd write them up a report if they asked for it. I've got a few years until Hydra makes their move, and until then, SHIELD are the good guys. More pressingly, they're powerful, and I'm not smart or talented enough to oppose them. So I might as well work with them.

Maybe I can even get on the Avengers. If fucking Hawkeye can do it…

Back on topic, I'm in a new world that I know only a few pretty specific things about. I'm alone, outmanned, outgunned, and locked up. But SHIELD just handed me one of the most powerful weapons in the universe.

Google.

Time to get to know Earth 1.

Takes me a minute to figure out the SHIELD OS. Very blue. Lots of unmarked buttons. I think it's designed for holograms more than touchscreens. But eventually I find the browser, and that's pretty similar to what I'm used to.

Starting with the basics, let's look up a bunch of people. Peter Parker, obviously. Stephen Strange. James Howlett, or Logan. Charles Xavier, Jean Grey. Reed Richards. Victor von Doom. What was Goblin's name again? Oz… Osborn! Harry and Norman. Johnny Blaze, I guess? I need to figure out who all exists here, and I'm guessing copyright from Earth Prime doesn't reach this far out.

Peter Parker is eleven years old. Guessing he hasn't been bitten yet. His parents are already dead, so that sucks. Father, Richard Parker, worked for Oscorp in R&D. Looks like pretty secretive stuff, whatever it was. Both Osborns are still around. Harry is Peter's age. Norman looks normal, I guess. So he might not be Goblin-ated yet. Oh fuck, Otto. Robotics expert. Also Oscorp. Looks like the Ultimate setup, then. Let's hope the explosion doesn't happen anytime soon.

Strange is, as far as I can tell, a completely ordinary physician. He's got a wikipedia page, so he's gotta be pretty well known. His accident hasn't happened yet. Don't know any of his villains that might have civilian identities.

Doom. No results on Victor von Doom. What was the country he ran again? Latveria. Let's search for that. Got it! Eastern Europe. Way eastern. Basically surrounded by Russia on three sides. I don't know Europe well enough to know who's territory from Earth Prime it's carving into, but I guess it doesn't matter. Latveria is largely considered the wealthiest monarchy in the world. Monarch… Victor van Dyne? What happened to van Damme?

Wait, where else have I heard van Dyne? Relatives… Janet van Dyne is his sister. Doctor Doom and Ant-Man are brothers in law? I don't remember that from the comics. Says Victor vanished in '87, not long after she died. He was declared dictator of Latveria in '99. Who knows how he managed that.

Oh, what year is it? I forget when Thor came out... 2011. First of June, 2011. 8:37 PM. Well that's useful, though I'm not sure entirely how yet. Do I remember stocks well enough to get rich? I guess investing in Stark is probably never a bad idea. At least until he decides to make Ultron.

No record of a James Howlett or Logan. Figures. Charles Xavier is a professor of neuroscience at New Troy University, in… Bridgewater, New Troy. Fuck, the states are different? Time to look up a map.

...There's a huge island off the coast of California. That definitely wasn't there in the movies. There are 66 states in the US of A. Puerto Rico finally made the cut. Texas is in six pieces. Looks like bits of Canada and Mexico have been shaved off. And probably a few other things. I didn't know the states all that well before, but I'm pretty sure Penn State, New Troy, Keystone State, Columbia, Springfield, and West Florida are all new.

Where was I. Right, Jean Grey. Hundreds of results. Generic name. None that go to NTU, so I'll move on. Reed Richards is a fourteen-year-old transfer student at Baxter University in Latveria. That's different. Baxter University is owned by Franklin Storm, father of two. There's three of your future Fantastic Four right there. Can't find Ben Grimm. Johnny Blaze doesn't exist.

That's all the names I can immediately think to look up. What else? State of the world? News. Let's check reddit.

Everyone's flipping out about Stark. r/stark and r/ironman are the two top subs. I wonder why Superman movies are so much more popular here. Or maybe Smallville is still on, since the pictures look like Tom Welling. What season would it even be on now? Wikipedia, Smallville…

What...


...the fuck. No. No! That's not allowed! It's a real place. Fuck me. Fuck me to death.

So, r/superman is… a bunch of people chronicling the real-world exploits of an actual guy in tights who flies around and calls himself Superman. And talking about how hot he is. Wikipedia says he first showed up almost a year after 9/11.

Alright. How deep does this rabbit hole go? Bruce Wayne. Damn. He's young. Younger than Parker, even. Thomas and (pff) Martha are still alive. Gotham is in Jersey, and it's a piece of shit as expected.

No record of a Wonder Woman, Diana Prince, Aquaman, or Arthur Curry. The Flash isn't a thing, but Barry Allen is a CSI techie in Central City. Looks like Grant Gustin.

Oliver Queen is definitely Stephan Amell, and is currently believed dead by shipwreck. Too bad I have no idea where the island is or I might have been able to help him out.

John Constantine, yes. Kara Danvers, yes. Looks like Arrowverse is in, mostly. Doctor Fate doesn't get any results, but Nabu pulls up a bunch of old philosophical texts ranging from Hindu to Aboriginal to Egyptian.

Mars looks normal from the surface. Atlantis is, evidently, a myth, but I might call bull on that one since it's in both Marvel and DC.

Fuck, I'm in a comicbook world. A real, proper, weird ass shit world with magic, and aliens, and gods, and real working pseudo-science. Like, there's probably time travel. Looking it up. Yeah, there it is. Barry Allen's mom, murdered under mysterious circumstances.

There's a guy out there right now who can run on foot fast enough to break the world and travel back in time. A guy from the future, with an AI, from the future, who traveled here on foot, from the future, by running, with his feet.

God. Speedforce is such complete and utter fucking bullshit. And it's real. Superman is real. Kryptonians are real! How the fuck does that jive with physics?

Green Lanterns. Hal Jordan… is missing, presumed dead after an experimental plane crashed a few weeks ago. So I guess he's offworld now. John Stewart… is an extremely generic name. Guy Gardner either died in World War 2, or is currently twelve years old. Fuck, I can't remember the older one's name. But the Justice Society has no results, so he might not exist.

Victor Stone is another name too common to be useful. If Bruce is a kid I doubt Dick Grayson or Tim Drake will get any results. Shayera Hol doesn't exist. Oh right, Arrowverse. What was her name? Oh whatever. She's a barista for another few years.

Metropolis and Gotham City are right the fuck next to each other on the east coast. Clark Kent is a reporter, as expected. But the Daily Planet is a website. Used to be a newspaper, but I guess they upgraded. I wonder if SHIELD knows who Clark is.

The door opens and Hawkeye points an arrow at my face! That looks sharp. Arrow. At my face. I set down the tablet and raise the hand that isn't strapped down.

He asks, "Johnny Blaze. Why did you search for that name?"

I'm frozen for a second, because even being in a room with a god isn't quite the same as having a sharp, deadly weapon pointed at you by someone who really knows how to use it, "It's just a name I remembered from Earth Prime. He's from the comics that the movies are based on, and I wanted to know if he existed here. That's it. That's why. That's all."

He lowers the bow slightly, keeping it drawn, "What do you know about that name?"

I answer without hesitation, "In the comics, Johnny Blaze is a famous motorcycle stuntman who was possessed by a demon, a Spirit of Vengeance that turned him into a hero called Ghost Rider, with a flaming skull and chains that burn the sin out of people's souls."

He puts the arrow back in his quiver and all the anger disappears from his face, "Sorry, I thought you were talking about someone else."

I slowly lower my hand, "Don't mention it."

He gives an almost laughing smile, with a killer edge behind it, "Right back at you."

So that's another scary person I've managed to piss off. Dang, he was my Good Cop too. Now I just have to remember to never mention the name Johnny Blaze again as long as I live. For some reason.

Maria steps in, "Agent Barton?" She sees the bow in his hands, "Is there a problem?"

He smiles at her too, "No problem at all."

I take the opportunity to ask, "Hey, so, Superman is a thing here?"

Agent Hill looks back at me, "Was there a Superman on Earth Prime?"

I shake my head, "In comics and movies. But not real. What's weird is that he's not from the same movies as the rest of you."

"Well we mostly leave him alone, as long as he keeps his nose clean and doesn't disrupt active SHIELD operations."

"Is he being considered for the Avengers Initiative?"

Hill stiffens, "I'm not at liberty to discuss active SHIELD operations higher than your clearance level."

I raise an eyebrow, "What's my clearance level?"

She loosens a little and gains an amused smile, "Currently? Level Zero."

I sit down again, careful to avoid the places where the straps might re-ensnare me, "Well great. Thanks for that."

-|-|-

The two left, and then several hours passed. Turns out the SHIELD tablets come equipped with Angry Birds, so I did that for a while. Eventually I started to get tired, and since the floor didn't look too appealing, especially considering my arm, I slept in the chair overnight. Or, at least I think it was night. It's hard to tell with no windows. I rub my eyes and yawn. Where's that tablet? I pick it up and check the time.

June 2nd, 2011. 6:54 AM. So I slept about seven hours. Maybe a bit more. Good thing Alex's sleeping disorder doesn't seem to have followed me into this new body.

Several more hours pass. I browse reddit. I google people Alex knew, his family and friends. But none of them exist here. I think about looking up my friends, but I don't know enough about them to find them.

I look up a few more names I remember from the comics, like Alan Scott (hundreds of results), Kent Nelson (inconclusive), and Lex Luthor (Michael Rosenbaum as expected). Doomsday, Braniac, Darkseid, and Zod all have no results, even though Superman's been active for nine years. Maybe he's only fought them offworld?

I also spend some time on IMDB. Apparently Keira Knightly played Padme, here. As far as I can tell, Natalie Portman doesn't exist. As far as I can tell, no-one who's ever played an MCU or Arrowverse role exists here. Not even Ben Kingsley was spared. Xena was played by Claudia Black, and Luke Skywalker was played by Rex Smith. Harrison Ford also doesn't exist, for some reason, even though I can't remember him ever doing a comicbook role in his life. Han Solo was Kurt Russell instead.

Strangely, Joss Whedon still exists, and seems mostly unaffected, except his usual casting gaggle is half different. Michael Rosenbaum also still exists, and is currently working for Lexcorp as a full-time decoy for Mr. Luthor. Exception to every rule, I guess.

...Why are these birds so angry anyway? They can always just lay more eggs, right? Doesn't seem like it's worth it risking their lives like this.

Fuck, I'm bored.

Oh that's right. The Destroyer was supposed to come today. Probably won't now. If Loki wanted to kill me he had a damned good opportunity for that yesterday.

The door opens again and Coulson comes in. He uses a clicker-thingy, and the last strap disconnects! Oh fuck, it feels good to stand up straight again. I stretch my arms over my head.

Coulson smiles, "I think it's time you showed me those fire powers you talked about."

I march across the room. God, my legs. I grin back at him, "You son of a bitch, I could kiss you."

"You kiss your mother with that mouth? There are provisions of course."

I stretch to either side, revelling in my newfound freedom, "Of course."

He reaches up to my left arm and puts a bracer on it that locks in place. A very familiar green light activates. I frown at it for a second, but at least it's not attached to a chair anymore.

We walk out of the room and there are two dudes with big guns. Those aren't ICERs, either.

Phil walks out ahead and I follow, and the two lunkheads drop in behind me.

I ask, "So what causes the change of heart? I was told I had another century or two of hard time to work off."

We wind our way through way more corridors than I think we probably need to. They're trying to make it hard for me to navigate on my own, and it's working.

Coulson gives a very government response, "No comment."

I nod, "Right, I don't have the clearance level yet."

He glances back, "What makes you think you'll get it?"

It feels so good to be up and about again, "Because you gave it to Skye, and she was a way bigger pain in the ass than me. Because I know you, and you need to know what I know. But mostly because I've done nothing but co-operate since I got here." With Jane, with SHIELD, with Loki...

"That's not what Agent Hill says"

"Agent Hill almost broke my nose as a way of saying hello. I don't think she gave me much of a chance."

We stop in front of another door, identical to dozens of others we've passed. Or maybe we've just passed the same five over and over. I can't even tell. He opens it, and we walk in.

Or, walk out, rather. The sky is a pretty neat thing.

I see they have standard red circle targets set up in the fresh mud around the crater site. Suddenly all five are hit dead center with an arrow each, one by one in about a second. I look behind me and barely see Clint's bow ducking back into a window probably 50 meters away.

Coulson gestures at them, "Let's see what you can do."

I roll my shoulders, "Tough act to follow."

I make fists. How the fuck am I gonna do this?

Anger didn't work. Adrenaline? Do I need to ask Coulson to slap me? However fun it might be, that doesn't seem right either...

What was going on last time? I'd just found out that my new life was a movie. I was mad, yeah. But mostly I just wanted to take a minute to process. I wanted everything to stop. The diner, the talking, Jane… everything. I just wanted fucking time, and I got it.

Is that it? Do I need motive? What do I want now? I want to show SHIELD what I can do.

No. That's not it. I want to show them so that they'll trust me. I want allies. I know I have enemies and I want allies. If I want Coulson to trust me I have to show that I'm not just fooling their lie detector somehow. This is the easiest, fastest way. If I can learn to control this, I can be useful to them. I can do more than google names and talk about movies. I can help.

Except I don't want to help. Not really. The idea of fighting, even with superpowers, scares me a lot. I don't want to risk it. So what do I want?

I want safety. I know I have enemies, and I need allies to protect me. Even if I don't fight, I need SHIELD to trust what I say if I'm going to make them my allies. I told them I can throw fire out of my hands, and goddamn it if I'm going to fail to prove my word!

I feel something. There's some kind of energy building in my stomach. Like a roiling pot. I move my arms and can feel it follow the motion. I flick my wrist and sparks fly out of my fingertips.

Excellent.

I breath deeply, and strengthen my standing stance by widening my feet. I close my eyes, and feel the energy moving, flowing outward. It's beautiful, and dangerous.

Like fire.

I open my eyes, take in the closest target, and thrust my arms out, palms forward. And a fucking kamehameha of fire flies out, engulfing the target, and basically everything else I can see in front of me.

I wait a minute for the smoke to clear.

Well, everything for ten meters in front of me in on fire. So much for control. It won't actually be useful until I can figure out how to not blow up the world. Collateral damage is a thing. But at least I can activate it now. I look back at Coulson, and he seems impressed, in his own nondescript way.

Fucking SHIELD agents. You explode a frigging tornado of fire from nothing and they act like you just showed them a drawing of a cat that actually has ears.

An arrow lands between my feet, and bits of confetti spray up into my face with a party blower sound. Why would he even have an arrow for that?

Coulson nods, "I think you're ready."

That catches my attention, "Ready for what?"


He pauses dramatically, "Four people in Norse garb dropped out of a wormhole, same as you, early this morning. They've been wandering in town, asking some very pointed questions. Questions about you. Questions no-one knows how to answer, including me. We don't know if they're hostile, or just curious. But we want you to come forward so that we can find out. If they attack, we have countermeasures ready and we'll do our best to support you. But I wanted to make sure you could take care of yourself so that we don't have to step in. It looks like you can."

I don't really know what to think about that, "Why support me? Why not them? I'm the security risk. Not that I'm not grateful or anything. But…"

"You're an asset. You have information we don't. You have information we'd rather be kept quiet too, but there's not much we can do about that without killing you. And that just seems like a waste, doesn't it?"

"So, I put myself out as bait, you protect me, I give you information, and you don't kill me? Have I got all that right?"

He shrugs, "It's a place to start."

Well, I guess it's time to work for a living. Hopefully getting stabbed by Lady Sif isn't my life's work. What an epitaph. Xavier Bronze, 2014 - 2011. Died doing what she did best: Being screwed over by circumstance.

But that's morbid. Let's not, "Do I get a suit?"

"Is blue your color? It's all we've got spares of."

I look down at the red flannel shirt and jeans I've been wearing since I landed on this earth, minus the night at the hospital. Alex would sometimes wear the same shirt for days. Alex was fucking gross. Like this shirt, "Yeah. It'll have to do."

So, I change into a SHIELD issue uniform. It's uncomfortable, tacky, hokey, and too goddamn tight. But it's also insulated, thermally and electrically, radiation resistant, blast resistant, fireproof, waterproof, machine washable, and bulletproof. It also feels pretty good to have a SHIELD logo on my shoulder, even if they did torture me just yesterday.

Those two jarheads follow me around everywhere now, seems like. Even into the locker room. Never heard if Coulson said either of their names. I could ask, but nah. Mike and Ike now. After I'm done changing they lead me back out and shove me in the back of a scary black van. I get that SHIELD like being all mysterious, but do they have to be so stereotypically MIB?

A few minutes later we roll into town. I feel the van do an unnecessary swivel turn before the doors open and… Yup. There they are. Lady Sif and the Warriors Three. Aliens. Aliens looking for me. And now I'm gonna go talk to them. Voluntarily.

Oh god. What am I doing. This is stupid. My feet are moving. Why are my feet moving? I'm climbing out of the truck. I want nothing more right now than to be as far away as possible, and yet here I am, walking towards the people in all the universe most likely to want me dead. This is fucking stupid. I shouldn't be here! A few days ago I was on the boardwalk listening to an argument about Donald Trump.

Oh look. Snipers.

Calm down. Calm. Focus. I need to be able to fuck shit up if I need to. What do I want? I want to not die. I want this to be fucking over as fast as possible so that I can go back to my safe, cozy, boring cell and play Angry Birds. I want the four gods gone, and I don't want them to kill me first.

They see me. I see that they see me. They're not attacking instantly, which is good. What am I even going to say? I don't know what they're here for. Fuck. Maybe I should've hashed out a bit more of a plan with Coulson, or on the drive here. Now I'm walking into this completely unprepared.

Oh. I'm here. Time to stop walking I guess. I should probably say something too.

"I hear you've been looking for me?"


Lady Sif addresses me, "You are the woman who usurped the Bifrost and arrived here two days ago?"

Oh right. They don't know me. Unless Loki's told them something they probably don't even know my name. They didn't know who I was, or what I looked like. At least until I just told them, and gave up one of my few advantages.

"Yeah, hey. Except, I didn't really usurp anything."

She stands tall, like the warrior she is, "We know that you did not steal Thor from us. Loki told us. As soon as he did, we knew we had to come."

Interesting
"So, why exactly are you here again?"

"We're here to learn everything we can about how you came to be in this realm, and help you in your efforts to bring Thor back however we can."

...Huh. Awkward. I guess it is kind of my responsibility that he's gone, but, "Sorry, I don't think I'm gonna be much help there. I think you're better off asking Heimdal, or Jane Foster, or literally anyone who's been in this universe for more than a week. I don't even know where to begin to figure out where Thor is, let alone how to bring him back."

She looks uncertain, "You came here, from beyond even Heimdal's sight."

"I'm gonna stop you there. I didn't come here."

"But, you-"

"I was pulled, unwillingly. I don't know how I got in the Bifrost, or who put me there. If you wanna help me find out, and punch 'em in the teeth for me? I want to be here a lot less than you do. No offense to the people here, but they're not mine. This..." I gesture around me, "...isn't mine. If I could hop between worlds at will this would be about the last place I'd go. A little too exciting for my tastes."

She's taken aback by that, "Then you have no power to return Thor? You don't even know where he is?"

I almost put a finger to my nose, "Yes. Exactly."

Angry goddess! "Then Thor is lost! He's gone for good, and you're to blame!" Sword sword sword! I fall on my butt dodging the first swing.

"Don't stab the messenger!" I see the next blow coming around from atop. I brace for death, and hear a clash of metal.

The fat one, Gimli, blocked her sword. He says, "Sif, enough! She has no part in this!"

She glares at me, "She's to blame. Whatever happened that took Thor away from us, she's at the center of it. I know she's responsible! I can feel it."

The skinny one, Robin Hood, holds up a hand, "Your mind is clouded by grief. Let us return home, and we can all sleep on the matter."

Now she's looking like she wants to decapitate him. At least it's not me anymore, "Sleep! You would have me sleep while Thor is we-know-not-where? He could be suffering, in constant anguish at every delay!"

The Asian one, Jackie Chan, finishes, "Or he could be dead."

She screams, "No!" and swings around at him.

Her sword clatters to the ground, and I hear crying.

The attack-then-hug thing? Really? That's so cliche. Well shit, now there's a crying, grieving god and I'm part of the cause.

I've gotta say something, "Look, um… If I could do anything, I would. I'm sorry about whatever happened to him, I am. It's just, I'm a victim too, here. We want the same thing. We both want everyone to just go home again."

She's still crying. I'm not even sure if she heard any of that. I really don't feel like I should be here, watching the Warriors Three comfort her on her loss. It's like I'm watching security camera footage of someone saying goodbye to their grandmother on her deathbed. Except, I'm the doctor who's gonna pull the plug later. How do I even do anything?

I don't. I can't. So, I just sort of stand there. I look up at one of the snipers, no idea if it's Hawkeye or not.

After some ungodly number of very, very long minutes, the skinny guy with the bad swashbuckler's moustache talks to me again, "We're going to return to Asgard now." He tosses me a coin, which I catch, "If you learn anything about who took you, or how to get back to your home, put the symbol of Yggdrasil face up under the moon when it reaches its zenith."

Magic interstellar coin phone. Got it, "Thanks."

Sif looks back up at me awkwardly, "I apologize for my conduct. It was unbefitting."

I force a smile, "Nah, it's alright. What's a little attempted murder among potential allies, right?"

She smiles back, but she's obviously confused by my joke, "Heimdal, open the Bifrost."

And my god is what happens next beautiful. It's like the whole sky, galaxies of skies, all pour down over them. For a brief moment I can see colors beyond light or pigment. Dozens of them. No, thousands. And for an even briefer instant I can see the true form of the occupants. I see the shape of their souls, the colors of divinity. And then it's all gone, faster than it came.

And I'm left standing there, in the middle of the desert road in Buttfuck Nowhere, New Mexico. And I think I finally understand what Alex saw in these kinds of worlds. Beyond the flashy costumes, the binary characters, the complicated plots


There's wonder. What I saw, was beyond faith. I saw it. I know it. For some brief moment, I understood the cosmic fluidity of the universe. This universe, anyway. Through that rift, I saw maps, and minds, and eons of history. Too much information for my puny human brain to even hold for one second. But enough to remember what it was like to remember. To know. What I saw, was more than a vision, more than a moment of clarity.

It was

...a marvel.

And then I realize that gods probably see like that all the time. The fuck are humans supposed to do to compete with that?


-|-|-

Mike and Ike stuff me back in the sketchy government van not long after. They take me back to the crater site, and my cell. While I was out they renovated. And by "renovated" I mean they threw a mattress on the floor. Still, nice. I'll take what I can get.

I don't know what will happen in Asgard without Thor around. Maybe Loki becomes king and destroys Jotunheim. Maybe someone else stops him. I feel like I should care more about a whole planet of Frost Giants than I do. But they might not even be in danger. Who knows. Maybe he never even tries. He's already the only rightful heir left. Let's hope nothing happens to Odin anytime soon.

Fuck, Thor: Ragnarok was coming up, wasn't it? So I've got, what, eight years at most? I'll figure something out later. Now, I'm gonna rest for a week.

...It doesn't take me long to realize there's other stuff going on. Specifically, Iron Man 2 and The Incredible Hulk. All of them took place around the same time, right? I can't remember the chronology. I bang on the door and yell until someone responds. It's Mike and Ike, of course.

"Hey, can one of you bozos page someone important? I've got inforrmation for them. Tell them it might be urgent."

They close the door again. I have no idea if they're actually going to call anyone or not. Maybe I should have asked nicer.

A few minutes later, Barton steps in, "They said you called?"

I nod, "Thor was one of three movies that took place around the same time. Around now. The other two were Iron Man 2, and The Incredible Hulk. I want to brief you on what happens in those, so that SHIELD can know what's coming."

He raises his eyebrows, before walking over and sitting in one of the chair that isn't a lie detector, "Yeah. Go ahead."

I sit across the table from him, "I don't know when the three take place relative to each other, and I know you can't tell me what's happened already, so you'll just have to figure that out for yourself. I'll save you the nitty grittys and jump to the big, important bits.

In Iron Man 2, a criminal who calls himself Whiplash attacks Tony Stark at a car race in a foreign country. I'm sorry if I can't be specific, but my memory of the movies isn't perfect. I think his name might be Vanko? Ivan Vanko? Or I might be thinking about someone else. Anyway, Whiplash is arrested, and Justin Hammer illegally frees him to develop a competitor to the Iron Man suit. He succeeds, and Hammer makes a presentation at Stark Expo. Except Whiplash hacks the drones and attacks the audience. You need to make sure Stark Expo is secure, and Whiplash is behind bars before that happens.

In The Incredible Hulk, General Ross attacks Bruce Banner somewhere in South America. The Hulk makes short work of Ross's troops. Banner comes to the states to meet with an affiliate to develop a cure for his condition. The cure ultimately fails, but before that Ross creates his own monster. He uses some variant on the Super Soldier Serum to empower one of his soldiers, and it works. Unfortunately it works a little too well, and he winds up even more bloodthirsty and mindless than the Hulk. The Hulk battles Ross' creation in Harlem, devastating the city. I'm gonna make two recommendations. Leave Banner alone. He's not hurting anyone. And for fucks sake, don't let Ross use his formula. Or if it's too late for that, at least get his empowered soldier into custody as fast as possible so that he can't rampage through New York. He's just as dangerous as the Hulk, so take more precautions than you think you need to.

I think Iron Man 2 happens first, since Stark shows up briefly at the end of Hulk's movie. If you can, just get Ross fired. His vendetta against the Hulk gets a lot more people killed than the Hulk ever would on his own. Similarly, Hammer is in no mental state to be running a company. He's corrupt, if not insane."

He sits for a minute. "That it?"

I slump back in my seat, "Yeah. I think so. There's some other stuff going on in Asgard right now, but I don't even know if that's still happening the same way. And it doesn't immediately affect us anyway. Oh, I guess you can tell them that the robot I mentioned probably isn't coming after all. It was sent to kill Thor, and since Thor isn't here…"

"Got it. Anything else?"

"Nothing until twenty-twelve. I'll let you know if I remember anything else."

I could tell them about Rogers. But I figure they found him anyway. If I tell them that they're gonna find him, they might change whatever patterns wound up finding him the first time. So they're more likely to find him if I say nothing. No idea if that really makes sense, but it makes sense to me.

He nods briefly, "Ok then." He gets up and walks toward the door.

I stop him, "Hey Barton?"

He turns back, "Hmm?"

"When Sif, that's the woman from earlier, when she attacked me… Why did no-one step in? I mean, I'm glad they didn't. That would've been war. But, I also almost died. So."

He sighs, and looks like he just aged a week, "We had a way to probably take out the four. But we didn't have any way to protect you from friendly fire."

Fuck, were they thinking about an orbital strike? Nuke? What were they planning?

I nod, "Alright. So you never had any way to protect me at all, either. You were just hoping I could figure it out for myself, or that if they killed me they'd be satisfied and go home. Makes sense."

He looks downright dejected, "Look, I-"

"No no. It makes sense. No apology needed. I'm used to people treating me like trash and trying to throw me away. It's just good to know that's where we stand."

"Coulson wanted to go in." He lets me take that in for a moment. "Coulson wanted to go in himself to talk to them. He'd already made contact, briefly, but he hadn't tried to talk them down, or convince them to leave. He didn't want to risk you, So he tried to go himself. Fury overruled him."

So that's where I stand.

Clint leaves, and leaves me to think. He probably committed a few dozen accounts of treason telling me that, but I'm glad he did. It feels good to be valuable. I meant enough to Coulson for him to risk himself, and I meant enough to Clint for him to tell me about it. It took Fury, the big dog himself, to make the smart call. That means a lot. I set out to make allies in this world, and it feels like I've succeeded. And I talked down a few of my enemies too.

Overall, it's been a good day. And now I'm gonna rest for a week.
 
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Puente Antiguo Bonus
One week later, Coulson comes into my room, "Pack up your things. We're moving you to another facility."

I gather the few flannel shirts they've given me, a couple of fireproof uniforms, my wallet, and the tablet, "Don't want me in the same place as the hammer for too long?"

He throws me a duffel for my stuff, "Actually, you have an assignment."

I unceremoniously dump my possessions into the bag and follow him back out, "Does this mean I'll finally get to tell Jane and Selvig that I'm still alive?"

He talks as we walk, "We've told them already. Didn't seem to ease their minds that much."

I give an amused chuckle, "Really. The scary government agents telling them that the person they abducted is perfectly fine didn't put their minds at rest? I can't imagine why."

After taking a direct route for once, we step outside and there's a plane right there. As we walk up the ramp he hands me a sealed folder, "You're being granted selective access to a Level 1 report on the events surrounding the manhunt of Bruce Banner over the last nine days."

So I met Sif in Puente Antiguo, and saw the Stark Expo battle on the news. Now I get to find out what happened in Harlem. Hopefully I made some kind of difference.

We sit down and I open the file, "What's my assignment?"

June 2nd, same day I talked with Sif, Emil Blonsky battles the Hulk at Culver University after undergoing Bio-Tech Enhancement. He's damn near killed, but is completely recovered in under two days. I remember all that from the movie.

"We need you to talk General Ross into turning Emil Blonsky over to SHIELD custody."

Unlike the movie, Blonsky was kept under medical observation for an additional 48 hours after being declared fit for duty. I can't help but feel like I might have had some part in that decision.

"Why me? Why not go yourself? Or send Romanoff?"

June 4th, his augmentations began to destabilize. His pain receptors shut off, his skin tightened and started to peel, and he grew bone protrusions on his arms and spine. There's a picture, and yikes. Not pretty. Only, when he heard that he'd have to stay in bed even longer, he smashed the bed, along with several doctors' skulls, and busted out.

"You're not strictly SHIELD. Anything you say we can just deny later if we need to stay on good terms with the General."

Without Banner's Gamma blood infusion from the movie, the Battle of Harlem was really more of a five-second pummeling that resulted with Blonsky waking up in an ultra-reinforced cell. Banner escaped.

I nod, "Makes sense. I guess I don't get to know what you do with Blonsky once you have him?"

"That's not part of your selective clearance."

Only an hour or two later we touch down god knows where. They give me some fresh clothes, implant a tracker into my neck, and send me on my way. For the first time in a week, Mike and Ike aren't breathing down my neck, but I'm still not free. I could probably dig the tracker out. It's not in very deep. Lucky for everyone I'm a coward, and I know SHIELD would find me again anyway.

Someone over my earpiece tells me that Ross is in a local bar. Wasn't this Stark's job? I walk in. Luckily they don't ask for ID. I walk over to Ross as he downs his second shot since I came in. That can't be good for his health. Then again, hunting the Hulk can't be too much better.

"General Ross?"

He sneers over at me, "Who's askin'?"

I sit down at the bar next to him, "I'm Xavier Bronze. I'm here on behalf of SHIELD."

That gets me a second sneer. Or maybe that's just what his face looks like, "What, was Fury busy?"

"To be blunt… yes. Anyway, we hear you've got a little problem on your hands. A certain former soldier has recently become more difficult to contain, I understand?"

He waves a recently emptied shot glass at me, "Stop talkin' in riddles and ask the question they sent you for."

"We want Blonsky."

He laughs, "You wanna dissect a war veteran? That's a media field day waitin' ta happen."

"Sir, we have the best containment facilities on the planet. If there's anywhere Blonsky is going to be safe, it's with SHIELD. We have no intention of making monsters. That's yo-" The words are out a half second before I can stop them. Damn.

He throws the shot glass to the floor and it shatters, "That's what? My job? That's what you were gonna say, wasn't it? Because that's what I do. Forget the years of service before! All I'll ever be remembered for is the Hulk! I made a monster and then I failed to take it down, got a lotta people killed. And now I went and made another one. That's what's gonna go on my grave! "Here lies Thaddeus Ross, his own final victim, by proxy of the Abomination. You can go tell SHIELD to fuck itself in a hole! They're not getting him from me."

Well fuck.

I lean away and whisper into my earpiece, "Got all that?"

Coulson comes back loud and clear, "Every word. The operation was a complete success. Report back to the plane in one hour."

...What?

I get back to the plane and Coulson's there to greet me with a cupcake, "Congratulations on your first successful mission as a Consultant of SHIELD."

Ignoring the fact that I'm now technically the same rank as Iron Man, I take the cupcake, "How the hell was that a success? He told SHIELD to go fuck itself."

"Exactly. The World Security Council insisted that we request that Blonsky be transferred. We have our own reasons for not wanting him under their control. We had to pick someone who could have full plausible deniability and still guarantee that the General make the wrong call. You were the best candidate."

I blink. So that's why Stark was the one to talk to Ross. That never made sense before now... "Thanks."

"You should take it as a compliment. Your blunt honesty is a trait I admire. If the world had more people like you, SHIELD would have a much easier job."

We sit down as the plane lifts off again, "Not sure I agree, but I appreciate the sentiment. Where are we going now?"

He pauses dramatically. He loves to do that, doesn't he? "Home."

...Well what the fuck does that mean?

-|-|-

Turns out "home" was actually "H.O.M.E.". God, these people have a problem. The Habitat Of Mobile Emissaries is a secret base embedded in a cliff face somewhere on the east coast. I overheard some agents saying that Metropolis is a short drive north of here, so we're probably in Delaware, Maryland, or Virginia. I actually saw Superman out the hanger door my first day here.

My room is a lot nicer here. It's the same living quarters the agents use. It's got a desk, a walk-in closet, its own bathroom. There are a few things wrong, like it still has a metal floor like the rest of the compound. But it's better than a cell. Hell, it's nicer than Alex's old apartment.

A few days after I've moved in, Coulson comes in. He doesn't say anything. Instead he just walks over and sits in the armchair in the corner. He's got a weird look on his face. It's hard for me to read.

"Come on in. What's up?"

He pauses. Not dramatically, this time. Ponderingly, "I met a cellist yesterday."

I freeze. Oh god. I screwed up. "Really."

He nods, looking right at me, "You know you don't know as much as you think you do. You're wrong about a lot of things. Nick Fury was never a member of the Howling Commandos, for one thing. He wasn't even born yet when that group disbanded."

I know that much. Spout a few dozen cultural references off the top of your head, you're bound to get a few wrong. I know there's more he came here to say.

And there is, "But you're right often enough. Just enough to make it worth our while to listen. Usually when you say something like 'that I'm dating a cellist', we can safely file it under things you only think you know. But I guess you know a little more than I thought, because she's wonderful, and beautiful, and I can't even look at her without wondering how you knew."

I put my head in my hands, "I've already told you…"

I don't think he's blinked since he walked in, "Oh, I know. Earth Prime. Comicbooks and movies. I've read every file. But I'm not important enough for my future girlfriend to be noteworthy. Fury, Hill, hell even Barton I can understand. I can even accept that you'd recognize me. But I can't imagine any scenario where Audrey would be important enough for you to remember her, that ends well for her."

I'm looking back up, and there's faint tears in his eyes. He's not angry. He's scared.

"So I want you to tell me what happens."

I sigh. This was a lot easier when no-one wanted to believe me. "You died. Aliens invade New York in 2012. The Avengers Initiative is activated, but the people called don't get along. They need a catalyst to become a team. They all like you. They all know you. You die, and that triggers their transformation into something greater. That's what makes her important. She's important to you, and you're important to them."

There's the whole thing with her other ex, too. But I really don't remember that episode well enough to give any useful information. And Phil's not in any kind of condition to take vague foreboding right now. I can tell him about that in a month or two, when he's recovered from the initial shock.

He nods lightly, and then rubs the tears from his eyes, "Okay."

Fuck me, he's not even scared for himself? He was just scared for her? How can he be that good of a person? "If it makes you feel any better, there's almost no chance the same thing will happen this time. Even without my intel, Thor not being here is gonna cause ripples. It already has."

"You know, the Butterfly Effect was disproven a few years back in a controlled experiment. Time actually does a pretty good job of repairing itself."

"Spoken like a true movie character. Let me restate. We can make sure the same thing doesn't happen again. Even if time is linear like Fitz claims, I'm not from that linear structure. I'm from another universe. I can change things. All we have to do is make sure you're nowhere near New York or the Helicarrier when Loki arrives."

Goddamn, I hope it's that easy. I'd much rather be dealing with a Butterfly system than have to fight Thanos in twenty-whatever, whenever Infinity War was gonna happen. The person who wrote that Fitz scene back home is probably rolling in their grave right now.

"You said I'm the catalyst, that creates the Avengers. I'm the thing that turns them into a team, that brings that dream to realization. I don't think that's a death I want to avoid. What kind of agent would I be? if I put my own wellbeing over the formation of a team that, according to your own testimony, saves the world."

I'm speechless. I thought he couldn't get more selfless, and then he goes and says something like that. Damn. I don't even know what to think about this guy. Is he a saint or a fool? Or both. Probably both.

He continues, "A very poor agent, I can tell you. No. The Avengers… That's a legacy I can live with. Or I guess a legacy I could die for, in this case."

I'm just sitting there on my bed, observing the most Lawful Good person I've ever met. This isn't something that I think could exist in my old world. But it's undeniably a good thing. It's definitionally a good thing. Rogers and Stark, and Banner, Clint, Natasha, they're all flawed. They're monsters, aiming themselves at the bad guys and hoping for the best. This agent right here, this seeming everyman on the screen, is a real goddamn larger-than-life hero.

He stands up, looking for all the world like someone who could spend thirty years working in sales, "Thanks for listening."

...And he's gone. Just like that.

Jane Foster: Second Interlude

"...And I can assure you she is very safe. Now if you'll excuse me."

I stand and glare at this stupid agent in his stupid suit. Do they really think they can just tell us that she's okay and have us take their word on it? It's been almost a week since they abducted her.

But the worst part is, they can get away with it. They can just walk off, and there's nothing I can do. They're the government. And I'm just some scientist from Connecticut.

Erik puts a hand on my shoulder, "Come on, Jane. Let's go home."

An hour later, I'm pacing back and forth in our partially reconstructed lab, "We know she's at the crater site. We just need a way to get her out."

"Jane, this is out of our hands. We can't fight SHIELD."

I snap back, "We have to! She helped us. We have to help her too."

Darcy says, "We could airdrop in. Hire a skydiving instructor. Officially there's nothing out in that part of the desert. And if they want things kept secret they can't just set up a no-fly zone. The most they could do is redirect autopilot traffic."

"Getting in isn't the problem. Getting out with Xavier is. They have guards, with guns. They've had time to set up patrols and barricades. They have every advantage and we have…"

There's an idea. He's not in as good shape as he used to be, but he could still help, certainly.

I turn to Erik, "We need to call my father."

"No."

I pull out my phone, "He could get her out! He's in Bedford. He could get on a plane, be here in just a few hours. Suit up! Get in there and fight, like he used to! Like his father used to. Like I know he has."

Erik takes my phone out of my hand, "Jane, he's retired! It's not his responsibility."

He's right. It's not his responsibility. It's mine. She was helping me when she was arrested. I still don't even know what they took her for. It couldn't have been the stolen research, or else they would've taken us too. I don't know what she could've said that would have gotten that kind of reaction. Maybe she had a prior record? Seems unlikely.

I look around at the equipment we've been able to rebuild, looking for anything that we could repurpose. None of it is really suited for siege or rescue work. It's designed to detect, analyse, and potentially eventually manipulate the kinds of anomalies that brought Xavier here.

Then I see the whole. The research. The equipment. Twelve years of astrophysics study. My life's work, leading up to this. The greatest breakout in history.

I start doing the calculations in my head while I reset the particle infuser. No, what am I doing? I don't need to reset it. I just have to set it to graviton flux. We'll need more power than this building can supply...

I unplug and start rolling up the inadequate power cable. I say with confidence, "We're going to get her out. Do you know how?"

Erik is looking very stern, but Darcy plays along, "How?"

I grin, holding the now coiled cable, "We're going to walk in, and walk back out."

Erik looks like he needs a drink, and once this works I'll buy him one with the prize money, "How are you planning to get past the guards at the door?"

"We're not taking the door. We're taking a shortcut."

Erik looks at me, and then at the particle infuser I just reset, and then at the power cable, and then back at me, "You can't be serious."

"I can. With the new data we've gotten in the last few days, once we get a few more devices up and running we can stage a controlled event!"

Darcy waves at me to get my attention, "What is it you two are talking about exactly?"

Erik puts his head in his hands, "She's planning to wormhole Xavier out using equipment made from stone knives and bear skins."

I nod, with a proud grin, "That's right. We're going to pull her right out of the compound."


-|-|-

The last few days have been pretty uneventful. They finally asked me to write up full reports on what I know. I told them that I wouldn't say anything about anything that hasn't happened yet, and they took it pretty well. At least, they took it well after I'd already written a brief summary of the Kree, and not only their standing in the galaxy, but their influence on earth too. Which I followed with an essay on the Ten Rings, and a follow-up about Aldrich Killian's illegal experiments with Extremis. I told them to watch out for Killgrave, too.

I watched Star Wars yesterday. I don't know if it's actually more hammy or if I'm just not used to seeing these actors overacting instead of Hamill and Ford. Still a damn good movie. Empire and Return are kind of bad. But the Prequels are actually pretty good. From what I can figure, Lucas had his big ego trip a lot sooner. So he tried to write the direct sequels himself, but got Kasden and outside directors for the Prequel quintology. Here, Phantom Menace is widely considered the best of the eight.

Oh yeah. They took off my lie detector bracelet. But, turns out all the SHIELD personnel are basically walking lie detectors anyway. So I still can't get away with much.

Now it's punching day. SHIELD wants me to learn some basic self-defense over the next few weeks. Apparently Mike is some bigshot mixed martial arts instructor at the SHIELD Academy, so he's just gonna teach me. I follow him for once, while Ike still follows me. He leads me to a training room with a padded floor and a bunch of training weapons on the walls.

I wonder how many rooms this complex has. I've learned to get between the few I need pretty consistently, but I don't have clearance for any of the lower levels, and I still haven't even seen everything up here.

Mike starts wrapping his fists like a boxer. I ask, "Do I need to do that?"

He gives an only slightly evil smile, "Do you think you can hit me on Day One?"

"Fair point."

Fuck, right. This isn't like martial arts back home. This is hollywood combat. Flips and kicks and shit. I wonder if there's something different here that actually makes all that optimal, or if they're just good enough to make it work anyway.

I walk onto one of the practice mats and take off my uniform jacket leaving just a black tank top. Ike leans against a nearby wall to watch, and Mike finishes turning his fists into airbags.

I put my fists up, "So, Mike, where do we start?"

He steps up and puts his fists up too, "You know that's not my name, right?"

I shrug without taking my guard down, "You never complained."

He concedes, "Harold did. Didn't stop you then."

"Ike's too much fun to mess with."

Mike smiles at me, and then I hit the floor.

I touch my head to make sure I'm not bleeding, "Ow."

He helps me up, "Come on. That was a cherry tap! Can you tell me what you did wrong?"

"I didn't start my training twenty years ago?"

He laughs, "You've been training your whole life. You just don't know it 'til you get in a fight."

"So what'd I do?"

He waves his right fist, "You were too busy watching this." He waves his left, "Didn't see this."

I take a breath, "Right."

He raises both, "Ready for Round Two?"

I wince, "Could you not hit me quite so hard next time?"

He laughs again. I think he's actually enjoying this, "I'm not gonna hurt ya. And you need to learn to take a hit too. Best way to learn is from experience."

"So you're gonna hit me all day long. Great."

A few hours later, my face is numb. That's not normal, is it? I've gotten to the point where I can usually actually see his fists, between when they start moving and when I hit the floor. He tells me that eventually I won't even always fall down. Strangely, at this rate, I believe him. We keep going.

Around 8 PM, Ike speaks up from his position slumped against the wall, "You know they only mandated one hour of training today, right?"

I look back at him, and then look back to Mike, "Mike?"

He shrugs and smiles, "It's true. You just looked like you were having fun."

I stand, slackjawed. I don't even...

"I was having fun?" I turn back to Ike, "Why didn't you say anything before you took a nap?"

Ike bursts into a giggle fit and walks out.

Mike starts unwrapping his fists, "You were making progress! I didn't want to interrupt a streak."

I don't believe this, "A streak of getting punched in the face? Listen, the jig is up pal. Next week I read the fine print." I grab my jacket and follow my watchdogs as their uproarious amusement echoes through the halls, "Stop laughing! It isn't funny!"

I overhear one of the other agents we pass whisper, "It's a little funny."

I consider punching him, but think better of it. If there's anything I've learned today, it's that punching hurts. I roll my eyes and head back to my room.
 
Midsummer Night's Dream Arc
Where am I? I'm in a forest somewhere. I thought... I was in my room? Ugh. What the fuck. Don't tell me I got pulled somewhere else. If I can only spend three weeks in any given universe, next time I jump I'm jumping off a cliff.

Well I've never seen woods quite like this...

I start walking. I wonder if there're even humans here. Statistically, the odds of there being life at all, or even a survivable atmosphere, are practically nonexistent. But statistically winding up in a universe so closely resembling the events of a movie is basically impossible too. I think I've been beyond logic for a while.

This is a weird place. Almost reminds me of Dagobah. Or… something.

What the fuck is that.

There's a jellyfish floating just a few meters away from me. A glowing blue jellyfish the size of a horse. It's flying. Is this the Savage Land? I don't see any dinosaurs. Just a giant floating jellyfish.

And the snake that I mistook for a tree trunk.

Fuck, run! Why am I not running? The tree twists and bends to face me. I try to move my fucking legs, to no avail. I'm paralysed. There's a snake that's big enough to swallow a bus, and I can't even blink to defend myself.

Every time I think I can't get any more terrified, some new situation comes along and proves me wrong.

The snake's one eye is bigger across than my armspan. It coils in a circle around me, creating a wall of flesh and bark scales a dozen meters tall in a matter of seconds. It flicks its tongue to smell me.

And then it uncoils and slithers off, leaving a trail of crushed trees in its wake. I can't turn to see what it ran from. But after a few seconds a hooded figure comes around in front of me.

Fuck, my eyes hurt. You don't miss blinking until you can't anymore.

This thing isn't human either. It looks at me with dark red eyes. It reaches out to me with a lobster claw where its hand should be, with one pincer at the center of my chest, and another touching my forehead. I feel a cool presence wash over me, and walls in my veins I didn't even know were there come crashing down and open up.

I collapse into the mud and gasp for breath.

It talks with an Indian accent, "You don't have to breathe here."

I ignore it, and take a minute. A little later I reopen my eyes and look up at my savior.

It lowers its hood, I wipe away my tears, and I get a good look at it. Its right hand is a lobster claw. Its left is a lion's paw. It has a hump on its back. Its head is like if a meerkat had tiger stripes. And those antlers couldn't possibly have fit inside its hood a minute ago.

I suddenly miss when I thought the weirdest thing was someone time travelling on tennis shoe power.

It asks me, "What are you?"

I hack out a laugh and glare at it, "What am I? I'm human. What the fucking fuck are you?"

"Hmmm… Human? No. Maybe once, but not anymore. Not entirely. Humans who come here share a kind of inner peace that you… don't share in."

I don't like being called not human, but I don't really know enough right now to dismiss the possibility. I stand up, "No shit. So where is this anyway?"

"It has many names. But this part of the forest is usually called Forever in a Day."

"Does time pass differently here?"

It gives an odd gesture between a shrug and a shake of the head, "No, but it only takes one day to get far enough within to where you may spend forever without finding your way back out."

"Fantastic. Can you lead me out?"

It bows, and starts walking. I follow.

"So why did that snake run away from you?"

It shuffles strangely as it walks, almost like it has a limp, "The serpent fears fire. I have been known to start fires, and now it fears me."

I look around some more. Cicadas, or something that sound like them, chirp from above us, "Well, thanks for saving me."

"I don't help you from pure altruism. I fully intend to request a favor in turn once we make our way out of the forest."

"Not sure what I can do, but I'll see what I can do. I do owe you." As much as I hate to admit it.

We walk for a bit more, and I see some more weird stuff going on with these woods. Sometimes a clearing or hill will just vanish when it passes behind a tree. The sky has changed color two or three times since I got here, but I don't think I've seen it actually change, and I don't remember any transitional stages. Things far away on the horizon will sometimes still be visible in front of obstacles.

And that's not to mention the creatures. It's not so much camouflage as the boundaries between landscape and animal get really blurry in some places. An area of grass can move to find a patch of sun. Trees can have three different varieties of leaves and fruit on different branches, or even the same one. A few of the things I've seen can pass through solid objects, like the trees, or the ground, or the air. And don't ask me how I know the air is solid in some cases and not in others.

At least once, I've looked up to find the top of a tall tree, and found myself looking back down at a different stump, and I'm really trying to not think too hard about how that's possible without any kind of noticeable curve. Not too long ago we passed a stream that was definitely flowing uphill, and not in the funhouse trick angle kind of way.

To put it short: This place is fucked up in the head. Fuck logic. Fuck geometric space. Fuck biology. Fuck everything and throw it away, because whatever it is probably doesn't apply here anymore.

We're still walking, and I can't see anything except more trees up ahead. We're walking, and walking, and-

When did we leave the forest? We're in the middle of a giant clover-covered hillscape. I look behind me and can't see a single tree, anywhere around us. I didn't blink. I didn't look at my feet. There was no jump cut or transformation. And yet, now we are undeniably not where we were.

Fuck. This. My head hurts. I'm not equipped to deal with this. I really miss when Loki was trying to dissect my soul. At least I understood some of what was going on then. If I don't know what's up, I can't fight it. Hell, I don't even know what to fight, here. I have no way, no how, nothing to do except follow this thing and hope it doesn't eat me. I'm completely lost. I seriously don't like this place.

There's a door up ahead just sitting on its own on the top of a hill. Reminds me of Charlie the Unicorn, or Monster's Inc.

My guide walks up to the door and opens it. Of course, I say "opens", but I only assume that's what whatever I just saw was. It kind of folded behind itself and turned into a gap between spaces of air. I don't even know how I can see the gap, since the landscape around it is completely uninterrupted. I can only imagine some kind of fourth dimension is involved.

Whatever it is, it's bullshit. Goddamn, I just want to be H.O.M.E. right now…

I step into the door. Not even thinking about how weird that is or how that even works. Inside is a cozy little hut that seems to be made of a swarm of some kind of one-legged cats with no eyes. The walls and floor writhe like the cutest, fuzziest maggots in the universe. It doesn't look like there is a ceiling. It doesn't even look like there's a place where a ceiling would be.

My guide closes the door behind us and as it walks around, the things that form the floor rise to shape chairs, tables, and other things. It walks to a corner and starts to sit down before the chair is even fully formed yet.

"Now tell me how you came to this world."

I'm getting really tired of being asked that question, "You first. What is this world? How far are we from earth, and how can I get the fuck back?"

Its eyes tilt, as if to imply eyebrows without actually having any, "My dear girl, this is earth. Maybe not the earth you're accustomed to, but you're closer to home than you think."

...I think I might just blow up the goddamn world. Fucking shitty crap on a stick this sucks. The earths are getting weirder.

It sees my emotions, the actual emotions themselves, and continues, "Allow me to clarify. This is a parallel plane of existence, very close to your earth. If you came here, it won't be difficult to go back."

"I've fucking done this before. This isn't the first time I've woken up in some weirdass world that calls itself earth. The worlds are just getting weirder, and I don't know how much more I can take. I didn't fucking come here. I woke up here, and-" Hang on. I didn't wake up here. "No. I didn't wake up here. I just.. Sort of... appeared? I remember what happened, but I'm not sure I have the full picture. I was in my room, staring at the wall, thinking. Then I... what, materialized? No, that's not right either…"

It makes a whistley clicking sound that I think stands for laughter, "Materialized? Do you think this is a material world? If you do, then I think I can understand your confusion."

And suddenly everything makes sense. I'm on a fucking spirit walk, or some shit. This is a dream world, or something. Psychic shit. Great. Non-sarcastically, great! I'm honestly thrilled to know what the fuck's actually going on!

I nod, "So this is some kind of astral plane. My physical body is still back home, while my mind, my "soul", wanders through here."

"Precisely. I'm surprised you were able to transport yourself here without realizing what you were doing. You must be very spiritually powerful."

I laugh, "Well I don't know about that. I do seem to have a knack for getting myself into situations I can't really understand."

"Can anyone ever truly understand their situation?"

"Yes."

That trips it up. It doesn't have a response. Sorry chimera dude. If you wanted a philosophy talk you invited the wrong person over for tea.

I'm getting a little tired of standing, but I also don't feel comfortable sitting on this ground. Hell, I don't wanna stand on it. "So, you said you were gonna ask me for something?"

It smiles. At least I think that's a smile, "To business then. I want you to steal something for me."

I think this means I've officially fallen in with the wrong crowd, "No promises... What is it?"

"A small velvet box. It's on a shelf, in a library, at the top of a tower."

Uh huh, "Who lives in the tower?"

"A wizard from the physical world. He moved here permanently only a few hundred years ago, but he first visited several thousand years before then. Nowadays he has very little power of his own, but he's in good favor with several pantheons that I'd prefer to not anger."

Merlin? "So, other than being even, what's in it for me?"

"You go, talk to the wizard. Your common origin as humans should get you in the gate. If anyone can get you home, he will know how. Use that. Talk to him. Find your way to the library and grab the box. Once you leave, give it to me, and you can use the knowledge the wizard gives you to be on your way."

"Why do you want the box? And why doesn't he want you to have it?"

"He doesn't care about it except as a museum piece. I can't get past the gate wards. Only a mortal soul can. I'm not a fan of gods, and I have a feeling they won't like what I plan to do with it."

I smirk at it, "Nope. No no no. You can't get me to do shit with vague answers like that. I want to know what you plan to do with that box, or I can just have the wizard zap me home with it."

"Intelligent of you. The box grants power comparable to that of a lower god. The pantheons feel threatened by any significant divine change. They are creatures of stagnation, and thrive on stability. You can see what I've done here in my home through simple mindscaping. I want to see what I can build with a stronger tool."

This is a dangerous situation. I get the feeling that I don't want to cross this thing. That snake wasn't afraid of it because of any fire. On the other hand, I don't know what this wizard would do if he caught me stealing. I could turncoat to the wizard, but I don't know if he could protect me, and I don't even know that this thing is telling the truth that the wiz can send me back. But making this thing into a god doesn't seem smart in the long term, especially if it might turn the real gods against me again.

Whatever I plan to do, the wizard's tower is the way forward. I can think about it more on the way there, "Lead the way."

It stands up, and walks over to the door as its chair sinks back into the roiling mass that surrounds us. The door opens again, and I follow my new employer-slash-enemy out.

-|-|-​

So, turns out the wizard's tower is really close. Like, we walk out the door, climb a lake, and there it is. Not much time to think about my situation more, or what I should do. Especially when I'm spending so much brainpower just not being driven crazy by this place. The place where climbing a lake is an actual functional way to get from place to place. Ugh.

The tower itself just keeps going up. It doesn't fade from sight. It's not just that I can't see the top. It's that I can see that there isn't a top. It just... keeps going. And yet, I can count the floors. There are few enough that I have a pretty good idea of how big the whole tower is. I'm waiting for what I'm seeing to make sense, and it just isn't going to. And yet, I can see it, and it obviously exists.

Again. Fuck this place.

Well I guess this is it. I grab the giant brass knocker and bang it against the wooden door twice. The double doors swing inward of their own accord.

I pretty much expected this, but it's definitely bigger on the inside. I could've jogged around the perimeter outside in about two minutes, but the front hall looks like the fucking Mines of Moria.

I cross the hall in three steps and reach for the door on the other side. I think I'm at the point where this stuff just doesn't phase me anymore.

A thunderclap booms behind me, and I turn back to see what it is.

The wizard stands before me. He looks like a pretty stereotypical wizard, with long blue robes, and an almost as long white scraggly beard.

He speaks, and several other voices speak with him, "What brings you to my temple?"

I tell the truth, "I'm lost. I was told you might be able to get me back to the physical realm."

He looks at me, and I feel the same invasive energy that was there when Loki scanned me, except it's a lot worse this time, like someone turned off the anesthetic. It hurts, like a combination of heartburn and brain freeze across my whole body at once.

When he stops, I'm on my hands and knees. But I'm a little surprised I'm not curled up in a ball. I take a minute, and then stand back up. If that's what his vision feels like there's not much point in running or fighting.

He regards me with slightly less suspicion, "You are not from this physical realm. You are from another. Would you like me to send you back to where your body is? Or back where you came from?"

I almost fall over again. Fucking hell! Give someone some tea before you break news like that to them! "You can send me back to my home earth?"

"With difficulty. Yes, I should be able to send you there. It is not a magical place, however. So you would likely never be able to return. And your spirit companion would not survive the journey."

"What, that thing? It wouldn't be coming with me."

"One does not simply separate and leave behind one half of a spirit as entangled as yours. Any removal or transfer would likely do irreparable damage to your own soul."

Fuck, what? I just met the guy! Wait… "Are we talking about the same thing?"

He looks a little impatient about my confusion, "You contain within you a great spirit. An entity of Light stronger than most I have encountered."

"Thank goodness. I thought you meant… something else." Wait, what did he just say? "There's something inside me?"

He nods, "A being of great power, and even greater capacity for good. If it were a different shape I would swear it to be an angel."

Ugh. Angels are real. Fuck me, of course they are. It's a comicbook world. Everything's real.

"So, I go back to my earth, this spirit thing inside me dies, and I come out the other side a slobbering wreck because my soul has been torn in half?"

"In simple terms. Yes."

I sigh, "Great."

Why couldn't it have been easy? It would have been so nice if it'd just been easy for once.

I ask, "What's you name, anyway? Merlin? Oz? Yen Sid?"

He smiles, and speaks in concert with a dozen other voices again, "Shazam."

So that's what it meant by this guy being friends with gods. I looked up Billy Batson a while ago, and assumed he hadn't been born yet because Bruce Wayne is so young. Then again, maybe the wizard isn't due to choose his guardian for another few decades. Maybe Billy's a contemporary of Connor Hawke. There's no way for me to know.

"So, Shazam, would the spell to get me back to this universe's physical realm need some setup? Maybe if you have a library, that might be the best place to kick things off?"

He gestures towards the door I was about to open when he appeared. I open the door out onto a balcony several floors up. We both walk out, and when I turn around the door leads back into a library with a glass ceiling. So we both walk through the same door again and wind up in a different place. Because spirit magic bullshit.

I immediately notice the front hall of the library, which is filled with display cases for various ancient relics and magical artifacts. And from there it doesn't take long for me to spot the small, velvet-topped box. It's a ring box. Great. Nothing bad ever happened messing around with magic rings.

"You were sent to steal it from me."

Well, I guess that settles it. Either I'm dead, or I work for the wizard now, "Yeah, I'm not a very good thief. Someone should've told that muskrat downstairs." I face Shazam, "You gotta understand, it said you could get me home. I was this close to betraying it on my own."

"I understand nothing. But you understand nothing even less than I do."

Could there possibly be a more ambiguously constructed and meaningless sentence?

He adds, "This isn't the first time an innocent has been put in harm's way for this, and I fear it won't be the last. But I have no intention of punishing a defenseless victim of coercion."

I'm waiting for him to finish, but he doesn't, "...Thanks."

Shazam stands and stares at the ring box.

After a few seconds, I talk again, "...Are you gonna help me get back to this universe's earth?"

"You are already on this-"

I roll my eyes, "-This universe's earth, yeah I know. Are you gonna help me get back to the physical side of it?"

He continues to stare obnoxiously at the box, "You need no help for that."

I'm getting real tired of this shit, "And what the fuck does that mean?"

"Just that. You do not need my power to return you to your physical self. You have all the power you need."

"You're starting to sound like a bad saturday morning cartoon, you know that? I think I get why you usually hang out with twelve-year-olds."

That gets me an eyebrow. At least he's looking at me now.

He picks up the box and holds it out to me, "Objects of this kind are dangerous. The man who seeks them destroys most record of what they are and what they can do, so that no-one else may inhibit his search. Would you like to see within, so that you may recognize similar threats that you may see in the physical world?"

I look at it suspiciously, "It's not like Pandora's Box or anything? It's not gonna explode a bunch of ghosts or gamma in my face or something?"

He smirks, "The wards at the gate are all the protection it needs. And the contents aren't dangerous unless they are touched."

I reach out to open it myself. But then I realize that's still fucking stupid. I don't know this guy! If memory serves, the wizard is a pretty ambiguous figure in DC. Sure, he made Captain Marvel. He also made Black Adam in a few versions of the story. I don't know what he wants, what he's done. And chances are he cares as much about me as some cockroach on the wall.

I pull my hand back, "Sure. Let's see it."

He opens the box, and I see what's inside.

It makes sense, in hindsight. Can't remember any other magic rings in comics. An honest-to-god Makluan ring. Looks just like they looked in Armored Adventures. I wonder how much of the history is the same? Is it actually magic here? I know a lot of the MCU is Sufficiently Advanced Bullshit.

"You recognize it already?"

I close the box and put it back on its pedestal, "Yeah, I do. It's a magic ring. The guy you were talking about is called the Mandarin, right?"

He looks between the box and me, almost amused, "Yes."

I'll have to remember to look up Gene Khan later, "I guess that weird dude downstairs is one of his stooges. I didn't know his network came this far."

"The transport ring allows him to spread his influence across space, realms, and dimensions. It is his most prized of the rings he's collected so far. His organization on earth is only a small portion of his true power."

"Do you know how many rings he has?"

The wizard shakes his head, "No. Neither do I know the locations of any rings aside from this one. They were scattered across the universe millennia ago. He already has the transport and armor rings, at the least. I have seen it. I have the divinity ring safely kept here. Other than that…"

I nod, "No way to know."

So the Real Mandarin is a thing, here. Not just Killian's stage version. Does he have any connection to the Ten Rings organization? Does Killian? Damn. I wasn't paying enough attention whenever Alex watched the Iron Man movies.

He says, "You have gone against his will, and for that you have my thanks. But once you return, you will not be safe."

Enemies. Great. And this time they have an actually valid reason to hate me.

I sigh, "Yup. Mandarin won't be happy I didn't retrieve his ring like a good little lackey. You can't whip me up any kind of protection charm? I guess it's a good thing I have SHIELD to protect me." ...Unless the Ten Rings have infiltrated SHIELD like Hydra did...

"I wish you the best. You have a good heart."

Wow. That actually means a lot, coming from someone who might actually be able to see it objectively, "Thanks. There are a few people who would disagree with you on that. Maybe you can stop by and talk to them at some point."

He smiles, "Unfortunately my tower requires my presence. This and other relics could prove disastrous to leave unattended. It is my burden, to never return to my home world. Much the same as yourself."

He's not wrong. Even now that I know it's possible, I might never be able to go back to Earth Prime. But on the other hand… "You know what? I almost hate to say it, but... This earth is growing on me."

What's more is, I feel like I can really make a difference here. I've already changed things. I've already saved lives by preventing Abomination's Harlem rampage. That was in my first week. Who knows what kind of good I can do long-term. I'm getting all hero complex-y, just because I've got some outside knowledge. I'm gonna get myself killed.

Oh well. Maybe I can take the Mandarin out with me, if I'm lucky.

"So how do I get back to the physical world, Doc?"

"Simply… click your heels together, three times." He waves goodbye.

Did he just make a cultural reference? He's just been messing with me this whole time, hasn't he. He knows the wizard stereotypes, and plays with people's expectations! That devious bastard… If that is what he's doing. It seems like that's what he's doing.

I frown, "Seriously, you don't have any tips? I'm on my own?"

He shrugs, "I could send your spirit back to your world. But, it would be along a different path, and pieces of your soul would trail behind you in both worlds. If you return along the same path, continued wholeness of self is ensured. Neither can I advise you. I came here on the power of the gods, outside the natural spiritual paths."

I cross my arms, "So you can't send me anywhere without breaking me. You're just not all that useful. Got it. Thanks anyway."

Well… I guess there's only one way I'm gonna get back. Unless I go back and beg the Ten Rings lemur, which wouldn't end well.

I sit cross-legged on the floor of the library and close my eyes. I attempt to meditate for a half-second before I realize that I have no idea what I'm doing. But I don't know what else to try.

So I sit... And sit. And sit… And sit.

...And sit some more.

You're not supposed to think when you're meditating, right? But if I don't think, how the fuck do I know if it's working? How do I know if it's working anyway? I get the feeling I'm doing this wrong.

Of course it doesn't help to have a creepy old man staring at me the whole time.

I ask, "Could you clear out? Please? I'm not stupid enough to steal anything, no matter what the Mandarin thinks."

He steps around a corner that I know for a fact he wasn't anywhere near, and leaves. So long, nutso geometry. I've got a better life lined up without you in it.

...As soon as I can figure out how to embrace my spiritual side, or whatever. Should I sing? Do a rain dance? Sacrifice a goat?

What did I do last time. The last two times I've hopped earths, it was when I was right on the brink of falling asleep. Is that the secret? Should I take a nap? Sounds crazy, but I guess it's what the data holds. I lie down on the cold hardwood floor.

This sucks, just, so much. Alex could've slept on rocks every day for a month, but I've got actual standards. The lie detector chair was more comfortable than this. And I just scared the wizard off, so I can't ask for a throw pillow or anything.

Fuck.

Gotta stop overthinking it and just relax. Just relax. No pressure or anything. It's just the only way I'll ever see anything I even remotely like again. Surprisingly, that helps somehow.

I curl on my side, and rest my head on my elbow the way Alex used to do. But it's not actually any more comfortable. It just compresses my spine weirdly. I lie on my back and put my hands behind my head. Much better.

So I lie there. And I keep lying there for what feels like an hour. Eventually I actually do stop thinking. I stop noticing the hard floor. I stop noticing the bright lights on my eyelids. The odd warm chill of the air fades away.

And then I realize it's actually faded away. I'm not just not thinking about it. It's not there anymore.

I open my eyes.

I'm in my room again! Booyah! I sit up from my bed and look around. Yup. Definitely H.O.M.E.. I stand and stretch my legs, even though they're not sore. "Not bad, mister wizard dude. Not bad."

I walk to the door of my room. The facial scanner doesn't activate, and the door stays very shut. Odd... Was there a power outage? I hope this place isn't airtight...

Or maybe the scanner's just broken. I reach for the access panel that doubles as a handprint reader.

And my hand goes straight through the wall! Fuck! What the fuck! My arm is transparent, like a ghost.

I'm back! This shouldn't be happening. I should be physical, shouldn't I?

I hesitantly look at the door. Should I test it? My hand feels fine. But I don't know the mechanics of this, whatever it is.

Fuck it. I walk through the door. I don't fall through the floor. I come out in the hallway where I expected to be. So, essentially I'm "out of phase" or whatever technobabble lets people walk through solid objects.

I've gotta find some way of letting SHIELD know where I am. Fuck, I don't remember what that Darkforce-infected guy in Agent Carter did. I'm really regretting not paying more attention to all that crap detail.

I walk through the door into Ike's room next to mine. Why isn't he here? He's always here when we're not out. I check Mike's room on the other side, and he's not there either. No luck.

Come to think of it, I was in a soul realm or whatever. So it would make a fucked up kind of sense that my mind came back as some kind of ghost, and that's why I'm not solid. But, if that's the case, where is my body? I'm guessing it didn't fade out like Yoda or else my room would be a crime scene right now. So why wasn't it in my room?

In order to get to SHIELD and tell them what's up with me, I've gotta figure out what's going on with them. I can't use any of the panels or tablets or holograms while I'm intangible. Can I hear? Yes, there's the sound of an air vent. So if I can find an agent, I can listen to their comms.

I start walking down the halls. And then I realize that's stupid. I'm intangible. I walk through a nearby wall and cut across several agent's quarters to get to the hangar bay as quickly as possible. There's always someone there to watch the big door.

Yes! There's an agent. As expected, she can't see me. I stick my ear up close to hers. My hand passes through her shoulder briefly and that's super unnerving. Being careful not to let that happen again. But I can hear her earpiece now.

"Agent Rossou's comms have been disabled. The Clairvoyant's condition is being handled by Doctors Fredman and Weir."

Agent Rossou is Ike's real name, but it didn't say where he is, or why he's on enforced radio silence. Sounds like something's happening in the medbay. Is Garret here? They wouldn't call him by his secret Hydra codename over comms, though, would they?

Well, intangibility is a resource too. If Hydra may have current operations in H.O.M.E., I better check it out. I head in the direction of the medbay.

When I get there, I see Doctor Weir and I'm guessing Doctor Fredman crowding around a hospital bed. Ike is sitting nearby, fiddling with his disabled comms unit. Hill is here? I know she's not Hydra.

Doctor Weir writes down something, "Still nothing except cortical static."

I walk around to get a better look at the patient.

Oh. It's me. I guess I found my body. Now, how do I actually get back in it?

But hang on. Do I really want to, immediately? I'm frikking invisible and intangible! I could sneak in anywhere, watch anyone without them knowing.

Then again, I really can't think of anyone within walking distance who's worth spying on. Luthor maybe? But I also don't know how long SHIELD is gonna keep my body warm for me. It'd suck to be stuck as a ghost forever.

Ok. Time to wake up. I pass my spectral hand through my own physical skull. Strangely, it touches the hospital bed on the other side. Hang on. If the bed is solid…

I hop up to sit on the bed, and lie down occupying the same space as my body. I shift my various limbs to make sure they're in the right positions.

This doesn't feel like it's doing anything... I'm lying down. My hands, my fingers, my feet, my hips...

My head! I'm still looking down at myself. I lean back and close my eyes.

One of the monitors beeps. Doctor Weir says, "This isn't possible. I'm getting something."

I crack an eye open, and can feel the weight of flesh on my eyelid that was missing before. I clear my throat, "Don't worry, doc. It's not every day I can pull a miracle out of my ass, but I'll try and do it when you're not around next time."

Hill and Ike almost shove the doctors out of the way to see me. Ike is genuinely worried. Hill looks almost annoyed.

She asks, "Do you have any idea what happened? You've been out for almost 36 hours. The doctors told us you were braindead."

I think about my answer for a second, "I took a walk. You couldn't wake me because I wasn't here. I was in some kinda limbo realm. You're lucky I found my way back as quickly as I did. Ungrateful fucks." I crack a playful smirk, "It's good to be back with the living."

Ike finally realizes that he's showing emotion and covers it up, "You've got a lot of explaining to do, Ms. Bronze."

I sigh, "I'll write a full report after I get some sleep. I'm exhausted." I'm getting really good at writing reports in SHIELD standard notation.

Why is everyone looking at me funny? Oh. From their perspectives I just woke up from a super-coma. Right.

"Don't worry. I'm not planning on dying on you again any time soon. You're still stuck with me."

Weir turns to Hill, "We'll keep an eye on her and call you if there are any developments."

"By the way, I may need some extra protection. I think I pissed off the leader of the Ten Rings."

Hill looks like she has a headache again, "You managed to antagonize one of the most dangerous terrorist organizations on the planet… while you were dead?"

I lean back and close my eyes again, "What can I say, I'm good at making enemies."

"If what you're saying is true, I think you take the Gold." She utters what from anyone else I would assume to be a laugh, "I look forward to reading your report tomorrow. If the doctors clear you we may have an assignment for the weekend."

Doctor Fredman interjects, "After Blonsky, I hesitate to let anyone off after less than 48 hours. But we'll see what her readings look like. She should be fine by then."

"No rest for the recently deceased, I guess. Whatever. Who needs it?" I yawn. "Me, apparently. Go figure. Ike? You gonna keep me company?"

I feel a middle finger pressed against my cheek. Once it goes away I hear footsteps going out the door and down the hall. Hill follows not long after.

I really do need some sleep. That spirit trip really took it out of me. It really is good to be back, though.

...Did I leave the door to Shazam's tower open?
 
Midsummer Night's Dream Bonus
Maria Hill: Interlude

I leave Xavier's hospital room and immediately get on comms, "Send a message to Director Fury. The Clairvoyant is awake, I repeat, the Clairvoyant is awake. A full report will be available tomorrow morning, and it sounds like he'll want to read this one. And request extra security personnel be transferred to H.O.M.E. over the next week."

Ever since she landed in the desert, this woman has been an endless pain in my ass. Existential ramifications of multiple earths aside, how do you maintain security clearances with someone who's seen the future? Someone who knows details on top Classified operations that haven't even begun yet. The paperwork alone...

And now she comes back from the dead, and she says she's pissed off the Ten Rings. No, worse than that. She pissed off the Mandarin. What little SHIELD knows about the man suggests that no increase in security might be enough to keep him out, if he really decided he wanted her dead. About the only worse people she could have picked would've been Lord Dyne and Superman.

But, I'll worry about that more tomorrow once she writes her report. The Manhunt negotiations are a much more pressing concern. Their SHIELD envoy is coming soon, and I've got to make sure we're ready. If it falls through we won't have to wait until next summer to be invaded.

And Coulson actually wants to add Xavier to that madness, as if it would make it better. She's never mentioned knowledge of any aliens except the Asgardians, Chitauri, Kryptonians, and Kree. There's reason to believe she might know something she's not telling, because of her early topics of research. But either she knows, and she thinks we're better off not knowing, or she doesn't, and there's no reason to tell her. Either way, as a Consultant she's near useless. She's also good at kicking up the kind of trouble we really, really don't need.

I've got to make sure the hangar bay is prepped. Then I'll get a few hours myself.

The next morning, I wake up without an alarm at 4 AM. I grab a cup of coffee and attend to my morning chores. A notice that Superman briefly entered Mexican airspsce… A request to relocate Blonsky's containment cell… A science team wanting access to the Puente Antiguo 0-8-4... An update on Phase 2 progress… More sightings in the New York subway network... A report on the recovery mission in Bialya…
Nothing that needs immediate attention.

A few hours later, Xavier's report pops up in my inbox.

Spirit
... World?

I sigh. This is gonna be another long day. She has to just be making things up sometimes to mess with us. I mean, a quest for a ring and a wizard in a tower? But, since she's... her, with all the inexplicable information she has, the wizard Shazam now has a SHIELD file. Someone has to talk to that girl about accountability. At some point, something she held out on or something she made up is going to get good agents killed.

I get a call on comms.

"Latverian submarines were seen in the Sea of Japan earlier this morning. We don't know how they got there without us spotting them and intercepting, but they've already started drilling into the seabed."

Oh no. If Latveria antagonizes North Korea, even accidentally… "What's he doing out there? What's he drilling for?"

"We don't know, but he doesn't have the permission of the United Nations. And if he sent ships all the way there, it has to be valuable."

"And no-one in that area is going to like seeing him take it away." Can I fly out and deal with this and still get back before the envoy arrives?

Hrrhg. I take a deep breath. This next month is gonna suck.

"Schedule a flight for 13:40 this afternoon. I'll talk to Dyne myself. Send someone else to talk to the Japanese and South Korea. We need to settle this before someone gets hot-headed."

"Understood."

I've handled Dyne's ego before. I can do it again. I just hope nothing else comes up until after the negotiations are settled.

-|-|-

I'm reading up on Luthor, trying to find out if he's a supervillain yet or not, dig up the dirt. Not finding any. Stroke of midnight, and there's a knock on my door.

"Ike, that better not be you again. You've never once caught me with contraband in my room."

The door opens and it's Coulson. He gives me a disbelieving look, "What are you doing here?"

I give one right back, "Curfew, remember? Can't be out past midnight without authorization."

He shakes his head, "We can't keep you locked up today. It's Independence Day! Come on! You've got visitors."

He leaves, and leaves the door open.

Huh.

I walk out, and Mike and Ike are still there, but they don't have guns on their belts. I make my way to the foot entrance, and the security guy waves me through without even asking any questions. Okay... I walk past him and wind my way toward the exit.

Oh.

Oh! Jane and Selvig? I walk faster and Selvig swallows me in a big hug. I'm not really a hugging person, but I don't break away because that would be rude, and I want them to know that I'm ok. I smile at Jane over Erik's shoulder.

She smiles back, a little apprehensively, "Hey. Are you ok?"

I nod, "Yeah, I'm fine. SHIELD has been taking care of me. I've been helping them with cases, and I guess this is my reward."

Erik pulls away and holds my shoulders firmly, examining my eyes as if I have a concussion, "They abducted you. I thought we'd never see you again."

"Well I am kind of a walking security breach." They don't even know about the movie thing, do they? I never got the chance to tell them.

It's kind of touching how worried they are. Jane takes a turn looking me over for injuries, "When they told us we could come see you we didn't know what to believe, but we agreed. They've been trying to get me to sign up as some kind of consultant ever since you vanished. They wanted me to try and reopen the wormhole that brought you here. I thought they might have just been tricking me into coming in to one of their labs."

"They've been asking you to sign up because I recommended you. You're the best person to continue your work. I've been working for them, working for my freedom. I guess I've gotten some of it."

The two of them look behind me. What are they looking at? Oh. Right. Mike and Ike are still there.

I roll my eyes, "I said some of it."

We walk through the final door into the open air. I see a SHIELD standard transport van nearby, and follow Jane as she walks towards it. I guess they're gonna do the obligatory "driving in circles" thing, even though we can totally see the top of the Metropolis skyline from here.

Once we all pile in, I ask, "So where's the intern?"

Jane laughs, "Darcy thought it was a trap."

"Of course she did." I don't really have anything else to say, strangely enough. So we drive in silence for a minute.

Jane says, "We tried to get you out."

I raise an eyebrow at that, "How'd you even know where to find me? You tried to break into a top secret government base?"

She sheepishly avoids eye contact, "Not exactly. The rift you first appeared from left traces, scars in spacetime. I
... may have picked at the scab a little."

"You opened a wormhole to Asgard to try and break me out of a top secret government base."

"Actually we were trying to open a wormhole into the base itself and just pull you out directly. But we obviously couldn't get the coordinates quite right. We didn't get anything at all the first few attempts."

"You mean you actually managed to pull something through a wormhole into the New Mexico desert?"

She smiles, "Yeah, it was pretty cool. Of course, it was supposed to be you, so not as cool as I would've liked. But at least it came out perfectly fine! Just a minor sunburn and blindness."

I'm more than a little shocked, "You pulled a living thing through a wormhole? And it survived?"

She nods, "A beagle. It's collar says its name is Marchioly, but we couldn't find any missing animal reports in the area. There's no phone number and the text is doubled in some kind of Arabic so we're guessing the other end was somewhere in the Middle East or North Africa."

I take a moment to close my jaw, which seems to have forgotten its job briefly, "You pulled a living thing from one place on earth to another through the leftover fragment of an alien wormhole. That's total bullshit." She doesn't seem to know what to think of that. "And by that I mean it's amazing. That's seriously one of the most impressive things anyone I've ever met has done. And I've met some impressive people since I got to this earth."

Her flattered expression once again turns to confusion, "This... earth?"

Shit. That's right. "Yeah. I never got a good opportunity to tell you. Turns out I'm from an alternate universe. This one's a lot more interesting, though, that's for sure."

She looks at me like I just grew a second head and started making out with it, "The many worlds hypothesis is true?"

I shrug, "Probably. Or maybe there are only 52 of them. Who the fuck knows, I've only been to two of them, and I didn't come here by choice. Everything I told you was true. I don't know any more now than before about how I got here."

I can tell she's already running through possible tests and new hypotheses in her head. "Is there any way I could get you away from these
... nice Agents long enough to do a deep molecular tissue scan?" Yup. There it is. "If there were a way to tell people from different worlds apart, we might be able to set up an alert network for if anyone new comes through."

There's a thought. I never considered anyone else might come through from Earth Prime. "Check vibrational frequency first. I have a hunch universes might be closer than you think." That was the bullshit the Flash show used, wasn't it? It seems like they were inconsistent. Is reality inconsistent, then? It certainly doesn't make any conventional kind of sense anymore.

The car pulls over.

Selvig hops up, "We're here."

I exit the vehicle with the others. We're on a grassy cliff edge a few miles outside Metropolis. Looks like a park. There's an iron fence lining the cliff, but no other sign of civilization except the general lack of weeds. There's a blanket out on the grass with a picnic basket on it.

I smile, "Is this for me?"

Erik walks over, "Well we weren't going to miss the fireworks. Metropolis has one of the best displays in the country. SHIELD was accommodating. I don't know what kind of food they've provided for us."

I joke, "Or if it's poisoned."

I get a chuckle out of Mike and Ike. But Erik and Jane both look genuinely worried. I guess they're still thinking of SHIELD as the scary men in black suits who took me away and kept me locked up for weeks on end.

I clarify, "Joking. Pretty sure none of us are targets. At least for SHIELD." Now, Hydra, Ten Rings... they may be a different story.

I look at the picnic. Something doesn't feel right about this…

"Mike, Ike. Do you still have your comms with you?"

Mike nods, "'Course."

"Call Coulson, Hill, and Barton. Invite them to come see the fireworks."

Jane and Erik are giving me a look.

I smile at them, "I knew you two for two days. I've known these guys for almost a month. They're my friends, and if I'm getting an Independence Party, they're invited. No questions."

Jane gives a small smile back, "Okay."

Erik gives a bigger smile, "Of course."

Mike informs me, "Hill is away. Coulson and Barton... are on their way."

I sit on the blanket and open the basket. A bottle of wine, bags of dried fruit, a box of crackers, a tub of hummus, and what looks like freeze-dried ice cream. Not great. But not awful either.

I crack open the wine and wave Erik and Jane over. They come over and sit down, but Mike and Ike are still just standing there. Idiots. I very pointedly wave them over too, and they hesitantly sit on the blanket.

"There are no cups. I hope no-one has a cold."

I take a swig of the wine and pass it to Ike. I look him in the eye and don't look away as he awkwardly takes the bottle. Eventually, he takes a sip before handing it back to me. That guy is just too easy to mess with. I pass it to Jane.

"Thanks", she says.

Erik's the first to open the crackers and hummus. We sit and watch the city lights at night.

A few minutes later, I hear another van pull over. As Coulson and Barton's footsteps come closer I call out, "If you'd told me you were taking me to a party, I would have invited you right off the bat. I'm a little miffed you didn't think you could invite yourselves."

Coulson answers, "We thought you'd appreciate the privacy."

"Well shit, if I'd wanted privacy I would've stayed in the Spirit World. Until I say otherwise, you two are always invited."

Jane gives me another of her scientist looks, "Spirit World?"

I laugh, "Yeah, it was a whole thing, just a few days ago." She looks at me expectantly. But, I honestly don't know where to start, "I'll tell you about it later. You'll flip your shit."

She gives a little nod, like, 'I believe it', and then turns away.

This feels right. Jane on my right and Coulson on my left. Erik and Mike, Barton and Ike. These are my friends. All my friends in one place. At least all my friends on this earth. The wine is strong, so I've been able to get a comfortable buzz going. The night air is crisp and cool.

And then the fireworks begin.

It's nothing like the Bifrost. But it's something.

Then I hear one of the explosions in the sky. And that's what they are: Explosions. My thoughts turn to my enemies. The ones that could be hunting me this very moment. The Mandarin. The Ten Rings. Hydra.

Hydra. I'm not in the base. There are no cameras here. There are no microphones, no agents I don't know. For the first time in the physical world since I met Coulson, I don't feel like I'm being watched.

This is my chance. I don't know when I'll get another one. I've got to do it tonight.

I turn to Mike and Ike, "Leave."

They look like they're about to protest before Coulson interrupts them, "It's okay."

They hesitantly comply and leave.

Coulson looks back at me and raises his eyebrows questioningly.

I talk to Jane and Selvig, "Sorry, but can you two give us a minute? Go hang out with Mike and Ike. They're nice, I guess."

Jane looks worried, but stands up, "Is everything okay?"

I shrug a little, "
...Yeah. Probably. I'm trying to keep it that way."

Erik gives me a nod and they go over in the same direction as Mike and Ike.

Clint starts to stand up but I put my hand out, "You're fine. You should hear this too."

He asks as he settles back in, "And what is it I should hear that Mike and Ike can't?"

Coulson says, "I'm wondering that too."

Wherever shall I begin... "Hydra is still around and has infiltrated SHIELD from within." Well, that was easier than I expected.

The two look at each other, and then back at me. Coulson asks, "Hydra? They were defeated almost 70 years ago, by Captain America. We both know you're sometimes wrong-"

"I'm not wrong about this. Captain America was a hero. But he was still only one man. Hydra has been around a lot longer than anyone knows. It was started as a cult centuries ago. They worship an Inhuman named Hive. It wasn't going to be taken down that easily. Cut off one head... Well, you know. So they cut their ties with the Red Skull and went underground. When SHIELD was founded it already had double agents in its ranks, and they've been spreading ever since."

He's visibly having trouble processing what he's hearing, and I don't blame him, "Is there any chance you could be wrong about this?"

I sigh, "There are some things I'm not sure about. There are things from the comicbooks that I don't know if they made it to the movies. There are things I don't remember, or that I remember wrong, or that were only referenced vaguely. This isn't one of them. In 2014 Hydra reveals themselves. They take control of the Helicarrier and almost kill everyone in Washington. Only you and a small squad of agents remain after they're done. SHIELD takes years to recover. Their reputation never does. You're forced to work underground, outside the law. There was a whole movie about it."

He's speechless. He doesn't even know what to ask next.

I guess I'll just keep talking, "It won't be as bad this time. I'm here. You know, now. We can work against it, or at least prepare for it. I know who a few of the traitors are. Sitwell, John Garrett, Grant Ward. Senator Stern is Hydra too. Alexander Pierce."

He looks positively shaken, "Alexander Pierce?"

"Gideon Malick too. And Brock Rumlow. Either Hand or List, I can't remember which. And anyone any of them recruited, probably."

He shakes his head, "Pierce alone… That's a sizable portion of the entire organization."

"That's why I told Mike and Ike to leave. I can't even trust them. There's no way to know who's been compromised. I'm not gonna lie. We're massively outnumbered, here. They've had decades to build their defenses. And all our resources... are theirs to take away. Our odds don't look good."

He looks back at me and I can see it on his face that he's already thinking of solutions, "But you've seen what happens after the lines are drawn. You know."

"I know some people. Not nearly the whole organization, but I can give you a list of agents who are safe to bring in. You had a team, in the tv show. Melinda May, Fitz-Simmons, Bobbi Morse and her ex." I turn to Clint, who's been very silent, "Romanoff is safe. She helped topple SHIELD when they took over." Back to Coulson, "Sharon Carter. Hill too. Gonzales. But anyone else, even outside SHIELD…"

"...Could be Hydra. I understand why you couldn't say anything before now."

"Because I didn't know who was listening. This is the first time I've gotten to talk to anyone alone since you brought me in."

Clint is staring out into space, "Hill thought you were holding something back. I think she'll wish she was wrong."

I sigh, "I wish she were too."

Actually, that's not true. Knowing every major world event of the next five years is seriously useful. But Hydra… That's something I could stand being wrong about.

I say, "I'm sorry I ruined your holiday. SHIELD agents can't get too many of those."

Barton shrugs, "I get plenty of time off on medical leave. Holidays when I'm healthy never seem to last long."

I look at Barton, and decide to pull out one of my other secrets, "Barton, I know about your family."

I see his hands twitch up towards his quiver on instinct before he stops them, "Is that a fact?"

I nod, "And you know since I'm only bringing it up now that I want to help keep that secret. I'm not going to tell anyone about them. I just wanted you to know that I know, and that you can trust me."

He looks me deep in the eyes, and we stay like that for a solid few seconds before he nods in approval.

I look between the two agents, "If we're gonna form this secret council against Hydra, we're gonna need a name. What about… the Vorpal Council. Knocking off the heads of Hydra, one at a time."

Coulson nods, "I like that. The Vorpal Council. The secret protectors of SHIELD."

Clint adds, "But a rabbit is a terrible logo. What about a phoenix? SHIELD, rising from its own ashes?"

Coulson responds, "The imagery is nice, but what would the name be?"

I answer, "The Order of the Phoenix, of course."

And at that we're all caught silently amused at the absurdity of it all. No laughter. Just, whatever these two do instead of it. And I don't want to spoil the mood by being the only one at my own joke, so we all just sort of stand there with satisfied half-smiles.

Coulson nods, "The Order of the Phoenix it is. With a phoenix as our logo."

I squint, imagining it, "A phoenix holding an arrow in one claw, and a film reel in the other. Wearing sunglasses."

Coulson looks at me, "Why do I get the feeling I'm being underrepresented in this?"

This time I do laugh, "Phil, you died. I saw it. Who do you think the bird is?"

Coulson cracks his signature smile, "Don't believe everything you see in the movies."

We stand there, all very pleased with ourselves, for a few seconds. I think inside we all just need a moment of levity before we can fully grasp the outstanding seriousness of what we've just done. We are now all, effectively, traitors against SHIELD.


Harold Rossou: Interlude

"What are they talking about?"

My partner rolls his eyes at me, "Knock it off, Harry. If Coulson wants us to leave her alone, we leave her alone. She won't try to pull anything with Barton there. She wouldn't try to pull anything anyway. You know that."

I squint to try and get a better view of Coulson's lips, "You give her too much slack."

"And you need to get that stick looked at. Can't be healthy for your ass."

The girl, Jane, asks, "'Harry'? I thought his name was Ike?"

I give a frustrated groan while she listens to 'Mike', "She calls us Mike and Ike. Not sure why, exactly. But whenever she does or says something we don't understand we usually just assume it's an Earth Prime thing."

I can't make out what they're saying. Something about a Phoenix? Coulson is doing that thing he does whenever he doesn't want to laugh at his own joke. Why would they be talking about mythical fire birds?

Jane asks, "Have you done any tests on her to see if she's different from the people in our universe? A deep molecular tissue scan, maybe? Have you checked vibrational frequency? There could be a quantum foam residue depending on the-"

My partner shuts her up, thank goodness, "Look, we're not scientists. We're operatives. I hit things until they stop killing people. Harold's an investigator. We don't know what tests they've done or not, but I do know that they haven't found any biological or genetic difference between her and your average Joe. Nothing about her being from another Earth and nothing about her fire."

Oh come on, man. Just because we know they know doesn't mean you can let them know that we know, or let them know that we know that they know! That's a rookie mistake.

The old man speaks, "She's one of them. Like the Hulk. An enhanced human."

I can hear my partner sweating. So much for his carefree attitude about protocol, "I'm not at liberty to discuss-"

The girl interrupts him "-I know they exist. I've known my whole life. My grandfather fought Hydra in World War 2. I've heard the stories."

Hydra! I saw Barton say Hydra! Phoenix and Hydra? Why are they talking about Greek mythology?

"...Yeah. Okay. She's a super. We don't know how she got that way, but yeah." That's a big stack of paperwork you just earned yourself, man. "Was your grandad a Howling Commando? You must have grown up on stories of Captain America vs the Red Skull."

...Well now they're just talking about Harry Potter. Oh fine, it's probably nothing. I sigh and rub my eyes as I turn back to our circle of outcasts.

"He actually never technically enlisted. His job took him overseas a lot, and he sort of happened across a Nazi operation. The details from there are a little fuzzy, but he came back, and they didn't."

My partner gives a hearty laugh, "Well shit, if your grandad did that that makes him a hero in my book."

Doctor Selvig reminiscences, "I met him a few times. I'm something of a family friend. He was always the biggest man in the room, even at age 85. He was best in his field."

I ask, genuinely curious, "Was he a hitman?"

My partner hits me upside the head, "What's wrong with you? Why would you ask that?"

Ow. I rub the stars off the back of my head, "What? I wanted to know! It's not like we can arrest him!"

He shakes his head and chuckles, "Leave the man alone! Whatever Xav's been doing, she's done now. Come on."

I look back over and see Xavier waving us back over to the picnic. We all start heading back to finish our holiday.


-|-|-

In the last few days since the 4th, we established a code for talking about the Order of the Phoenix. Clint told me he brought Natasha into the fold. Coulson recruited Hill. Even if she wasn't supposed to Hill's probably reported to Fury, which means who knows who all knows by now. I've been watching my back, but I know if Hydra knew I'd be dead already.

In my last lesson with Mike, we switched to offensive training. After a few hours of dedicated effort, I eventually actually made him deflect a punch instead of just dodging it. He literally double front-flipped straight over my head at one point, which was a solid reminder that humans are a lot stronger here than back home. I don't know which standard my new body is built to yet. It would suck if I was stuck with Earth Prime muscles. I'm stronger than Alex was, but he wasn't exactly the pinnacle of the human form.

I'm walking through the compound on the way to the shooting range when I see a new vehicle in the hangar. It's a dark violet motorcycle with pink highlights, darn near spotless. Whoever's it is obviously does a lot of upkeep. It's beautiful. I walk over to take a closer look.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. She doesn't like being touched by strangers."

I turn around and see a man around my age with dark hair and a pointy face. He's wearing casual clothes like me, but walks like an agent.

He crosses the room and introduces himself, "Agent Darby. I'm stationed here for the next week while the techies get my next alias in place."

I shake his hand, "Xavier. Consultant."

He nods, "What clearance level?"

I shrug, "Level 1. Selective Level 1. I've only been with SHIELD a few weeks." I've only been in this universe a few weeks.

He smiles, "Level 1 in a few weeks is impressive progress. Either you've done something right or someone likes you."

I laugh, "The second one, definitely. What about you? What's your level?"

He gives a sly eyebrow, "You don't have the clearance to know."

I snap my fingers, "Damn. Forgot about that. Well, if you're high enough you can read my file. But you might want to get high in more ways than one before you do. It's a bit out there."

He leans against his bike, "I live 'out there'. Not much surprises me anymore."

"Bet you ten bucks you're wrong."

He climbs onto the motorcycle and latches his helmet, "I was about to go out for a ride." He tosses me another helmet, "Wanna come?"

I smirk, "I'm probably not supposed to. I'm technically not supposed to know where the base is. Besides, I thought your bike didn't like strangers?"

He shrugs, "She seems to like you alright. And as far as the rules are concerned, I can take full responsibility if you decide to jump off a speeding motorcycle."

He could be Hydra. This could be it. This could be the "accident" they organize for me. Oh, she just fell off. I don't know what happened. She was wearing a helmet. These things happen. Was she important?

But on the other hand, cute boy! ...But that's what Skye thought too. Urgh. All the best ones are either taken, gay, or Hydra. He's pretty clearly hitting on me, which means he's probably not taken, and he's not outwardly gay.

...My fucking libido is gonna be the death of me.

I smile and climb aboard, "Alright then." I don my helmet and wrap my arms around his waist.

And fucking hell is this guy a great driver. He knows this bike inside and out. Turns on a dime in the triple digits. He handles it with such ease, it's almost like he's not even doing anything. The bike just follows his commands. It's amazing. Besides the party a few days ago It's the most fun I've had since I switched Earths.

We get back probably fifteen minutes later. We climb off, and my hair is a mess. He looks at it and chuckles, "Well you should probably get back to whatever it is you were going to."

I nod, "Yeah." Oh wait! "I just got my SHIELD issue phone. It can only call other SHIELD numbers, and a few others I got authorized." Jane, Selvig, "Do you have a SHIELD number?"

He nods and takes out his phone, "Yeah. Right here."

We trade numbers. That makes seven numbers in my directory. I feel popular.

I jokingly salute on my way out, "Agent Darby."

He calls out, "See ya 'round the base."

The next day, an envelope appears at the foot of my door with ten dollars in it.
 
Metropolis Arc
Everyone's out on assignment. H.O.M.E. looks like a ghost town. Even Mike had to go off and do something, so some other douchebag is taking over alongside Ike as my babysitter for a day or two.

They've had me practicing my fire at an underground shooting range ever since I got here. I can now actually set fire to selective large swaths of floor. So, mildly more useful, I guess. Control is still an issue. And I always get really hungry after an hour or two of training. Not sure why. I can't actually be burning calories.

I'm at the shooting range when my earpiece beeps to let me know I've got incoming orders. I tap to receive and start my way back toward the locker room, "Yeahp. What's up?"

An agent I don't recognize says, "Your file says that Earth Prime had movies and comics about Superman. Do you have outside knowledge on Superman?"

I've read a fair amount about the Man of Steel on this Earth in the past week or so. Debuted in 2002. He stopped conventional crime in Metropolis completely in under a month. Not a small feat for a city across the state line from Gotham. Of course there was outcry, and panic, and all that bad stuff. But after a few months to chill out people realized that Metropolis was better off and shut up. At least, most of them.

He mostly stays in his city. But on occasion, when there's an ongoing situation that gets heavy news coverage, he'll make an appearance and help out. A lot of people accuse him of not working hard enough. A lot of people accuse him of interfering too much. Basic superhero controversy bullshit.

There was a brief scare in 2004, when he showed up at a UN conference. But, turns out they were just discussing an issue he was interested in, and he wanted to watch. So, after clearing it with a few dozen militaries, they let him sit with the press. Since 2008 he's even had a "Krypton" representative's seat that mostly stays empty. But he'll show up if it's something big or important enough, something he's interested in, or something that has to do with him directly.

He doesn't seem nearly as strong as most versions. Even though he looks like Tom Welling, he doesn't have that much in common with the Smallville version either. The most I can find record of him lifting is a 10,000 ton cruise liner, and the fastest he seems to be able to fly is a little over Mach 2. Although, his acceleration seems to be near-instant. As far as toughness, he dodged tank shells one time. So he might be injured by something like that. But there's definitely plenty of accounts of him being bullet and knife-proof.

As far as his alter ego, Clark Kent, born 1979 in Smallville, Kansas. Went to Smallville High and worked for the school paper. Interned at the Daily Planet before moving to Metropolis in 2000 to work there full time. Published his first solo article in 2004, to much success and acclaim. Since then he's been one of the biggest names in journalism, alongside his fiance of three years, Lois Lane. Apparently there's still no date set for the wedding.

But, to answer the call, "Yeah, I do. What'do you need to know?"

"Report to the hangar bay in five minutes."

I finish changing into my SHIELD blues and head over. An older overweight black man meets me at the hangar entrance and walks with me over to a plane, "Do you know Superman's secret identity?"

Well this is interesting. I look at him kind of suspiciously, "Yeah? Do you?"

"It's part of SHIELD's agreement with Superman that we not pursue that information. So no. No SHIELD agent does."

Bull. Shit. Even if they're not supposed to know, they know. There's no way they've let Superman stay anonymous and effectively unsupervised for this long. They just can't have me knowing that they know, "So if you don't have information, and you don't want information, what do you want?"

He walks up onto the plane and I follow, "Superman hasn't been seen for almost 72 hours. If you know who he is, we need you to assess his situation. Your tracker implant has been temporarily disabled." He turns and addresses my agent shadows, "You two are not to put Superman's location or identity in your report, or tell anyone. Even your superiors. To do so would place you strictly and legally under Kryptonian jurisdiction. Superman would be able to do with you as he saw fit."

So we fly to an airfield just outside Metropolis. They take an extra flyaround, but it still only takes a few minutes from takeoff to landing, so it's painfully obvious where H.O.M.E. is. Since I'm not actually representing SHIELD, I change back out of uniform into my civies.

Metropolis is beautiful. It's called the City of Tomorrow, and I can see why. It's a city of juxtaposition. Towering skyscrapers intermixed with suburban-styled houses. The street grid is the straightest and most consistent I've ever seen. But the buildings are as varied as they come. Some take definite international influence. Others are massive archways that stretch over the roads and even over other buildings for several blocks. It's like someone built a brand new city in the 90s, and every five years they've just built another city on top of and around the last one. Many buildings have different architecture for every floor they go up.

It's not hard to find the Daily Planet building. It takes up four blocks and towers over the already impressive city skyline. Not to mention the giant spinning globe on top. It's one of the most memorable buildings in the world, with many people calling it a modern World Wonder.

I walk through the intimidatingly huge and well-decorated lobby, feeling completely outclassed in my red flannel. I ask the front desk, and they say Clark works on the 98th floor. I see a plaque on the wall. This building was built in the 50s? Dang. I step into the elevator and input the floor number via keypad. I guess eventually it gets annoying to have individual buttons for each floor.

The door dings open not two minutes later.

...What? The elevator can't possibly be that fast, can it? I step out and, sure enough, there's a sign telling me I'm on the 98th floor.

After talking to two more desks, I find Clark Kent and Lois Lane's office. As basically the biggest celebrities in the business, they get a lot of nice stuff from the company. It occurs to me that one of the only reasons I've gotten this far into the building is probably because they think Ike and Dike are my bodyguards, which makes me some kind of bigshot too.

Just as I'm thinking that, someone steps between me and the office door, "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I was looking for Clark Kent?"

The woman tells me, "Mr. Kent is home sick today. But you could make an appointment for Thursday?"

Well he's not doing what he's usually doing when he takes a sick day, "No thanks. Could you tell me his address?"

She frowns and shakes her head, "I'm calling security."

Shit. I didn't think how that might sound. I guess I am kind of stalking him, aren't I.

Ike grabs her arm as she's leaving and flips out his SHIELD badge, "Mam, we're with SHIELD. Do you have his address?"

She looks at the badge and gets all flustered. Ha! You just tried to arrest government agents. She nods quickly and walks around us into the nicest office I've ever seen, "Yes, I can get that for you. Just one minute."

So, another half-hour, and I'm outside an extremely generic and low-key apartment among hundreds of others just like it. I guess job benefits don't necessarily correlate to a high income. Ike and Dike agreed to stay downstairs, so it's just me when I knock on the door.

And Clark Kent answers the door, "Yes?"

And this is Clark Kent. It may sound stupid, but in person it's a pretty compelling disguise. His hair is unkempt. His clothing is too big for him, so he looks slightly overweight. He slumps and shifts on his feet.

And, right now, he's also very obviously actually sick. His eyes are bloodshot. His hands are shaking. He's sweating like a madman, and he's got a box of tissues in one hand.

And he forgot to put on his glasses before coming to the door.

I'm actually kind of worried about this guy now.

I give a little wave, "Hey Superman."

I'm inside the apartment, the door is shut, and his hand is to my throat before I even see that he's moved, "Who are you?"

I try my best to stay calm. I run through all the accounts of his heroism in my head. In almost nine years of activity, he's never killed anyone. No missing persons cases. Nothing. The most he's ever done is break the wrist of a serial bomber, and that was an accident. This isn't like Loki. He's not going to hurt me. I just need to make sure he knows that I'm on his side.

I choke out, "You forgot to put on your glasses before you answered the door."

He blurs for a moment, and then he's wearing his glasses and my neck is freed. The threat in his eyes isn't gone, though. We both know he could snap me like a twig if he wanted to. Even if he is shivering in a very unnerving way.

I keep talking, "I'm Xavier Bronze. I know you're Superman. I know you're Clark Kent. I know your father was Jor-El and I know your cousin is Kara Zor-El, or Kara Danvers, here. Your Kryptonian name is Kal-El. And I'm here to help."

"How do you know all that?"

I swallow, "I'm afraid that's classified." His fist tightens, "But as far as I know, no-one else does. You don't have to worry about me telling anyone. The last thing I want is you as my enemy."

He takes a slow step back, expression still deadly serious, if slightly less fearful, "Why are you here?"

"You vanished. People have been wondering where Superman is. I needed to make sure you were okay. It's pretty clear that you're not."

He backs off a little more and sighs, resting against the back of a couch behind him, "I'm sick."

"Have you ever been sick before?"

He shakes his head, "No."

Shit. "Any idea what's causing it?"

He leans his head back, obviously exhausted, "No. I haven't fought anything alien or magical in months. I don't know what it could be. I stopped a meltdown in Dakota City last week, but that shouldn't have had any side-effects." He looks back at me, "Who do you work for anyway? The DEO?"

There's a DEO here. Good to know. "SHIELD"

He stands back up, but I can tell every movement is a strain right now, "I thought we had an agreement. I don't investigate you, you don't investigate me."

"SHIELD doesn't know who you are. I do. I'm a consultant. They called me in because they thought I might be able to contact you. They were right."

Technically true. But misleading. Fury would be proud.

I ask, "What was the last hero work you did before you got sick?"

He shrugs, "I don't know. I saved some miners from a cave-in. I caught someone who jumped off a building, and someone else who jumped off the cliffs. I busted an Intergang cell. The police had me x-ray a building to see if there was a bomb under it. I do a lot."

"Sounds like it." Hmm. That makes things hard. It's basically up to me and Clark to solve this thing. I look around the apartment a little, daring to move for the first time.

And that's when I see the vividly green metal statue of a dragon on a tabletop.

I point to it, "What's that?"

He looks to see what I'm pointing at, "It's a gift, from the Latverian embassy. Lord Dyne gave it to me himself after I did a piece on the environmental cleanup he's been spearheading in eastern Europe and Russia."

Fuck, does he not know? "And it never crossed your mind that it might be Kryptonite?"

He blinks at me, "What's that?"

Fuck! He doesn't know! I walk over and pick up the small statue. It's about a foot tall. But I think it's hollow, because it doesn't weigh very much. Or maybe that's just because it's made of Kryptonite, because that's what this fucking is.

I hold it up, "We need to get this out of here as fast as possible. Can I go do that real quick?"

He starts to stand up, "I'll go with you-"

"No. That defeats the whole point. We need this thing to be far away from you. You… go up to the roof. I'll meet you there in five minutes."

I walk out, and he doesn't stop me. And I know he can. So I go downstairs and give the statue to Ike and Dike before heading up to the roof.

Clark is up there, so I guess he listened. He looks a little peeved though, "What's going on? What was that? And why are we up here?"

"You need to sunbathe to get the toxin out of your system. Take your shirt off."

He looks confused, and still looks annoyed, "How do you know so much about my species?"

I know it's completely reasonable, but I'm getting a little frustrated with his attitude, "I'm the closest thing to a Kryptonian specialist that exists on this planet." It's time to explain, "That statue was Kryptonite. It's a radioactive mineral from your homeworld." His eyes widen in surprise, "I don't know if Doom gave it to you intentionally, or if it was just an accident. But either way, we have to assume from this point on that he knows who you are, and he knows what that stuff can do to you."

He's beginning to understand, "Who's Doom? Why would they want me disabled?"

Oops. Wrong name, "Dyne. Sorry, they call him Doom where I'm from. Victor Dyne. He gave you that, right?"

He nods, "You're saying he gave me the statue to test me. And now he knows that that material weakens me."

"And if he didn't before, now he knows your secret identity too."

...Is he looking at my boob?

Next thing I know I'm flying backwards off my feet. I hear two gunshots, then I fall to the roof again. I see Superman on his knees, and blood pooling below him. A red light flares from the window of a building behind him, and I jump behind an airconditioning unit as cover.

I pull out my new phone and call Ike, "pickupickupickupickup- Ike! There's a sniper in the building to the-" check the sun, "-south of here. You need to find them and take them down right now or Superman is dead, you hear me?"

He answers exactly as a SHIELD agent should, "Copy that. We're on our way there now. Can you see what floor they're on?"

Call me a coward all you like, but I'm not sticking my head out of cover right now. It was high enough to have a clear view of this roof, so, "No, it looked like 40th or higher? I don't know." Time to make a judgement call, "Call an ambulance for Clark Kent, two bullet wounds in the back. He's not moving."

I can hear Ike running over the phone, "I've located the sniper. I'll be there in 90 seconds."

And this is the kind of thing that never happens in the movies. Because there's nothing I can do but wait for 90 seconds. I just have to stay here and stay on the phone and listen, and watch Superman bleed. And that feeling of complete powerlessness is pretty much terrible. It's like a nightmare.

Finally, after far, far too long, I hear punching over the phone. As soon as I do, I run out of cover.

And immediately leap back behind when another gunshot sounds off! That must mean there's more than one of them. I'm surprised my nerves aren't worse than they are. But I guess after Loki and Sif and Barton and the giant snake and Shazam and Superman himself just earlier today, I'm starting to get used to the deadly peril.

Ike's voice comes over the phone again, "Coast is clear. Agent Dormer is waiting with the assassins until the authorities arrive. I'm going to try and get back to you before the EMTs. I didn't give them a name. What's our cover?"

Shit. Should I strip him down and tell them it's Superman, or call him Clark because he's vulnerable? "Give me a minute. I'm gonna check on his injuries."

I run over to look at him and that is a lot of blood. It's impossible for me to avoid making little splashes of blood when I kneel to get a closer look. He's unconscious, which just makes everything so much more complicated. He's on his back, and that's where the wound is, so I can't see it.

Okay. The EMTs are coming. Stop thinking like a bad doctor and start thinking like a fledgling spy. He doesn't have his glasses. But his hair is in "Clark mode", he's wearing civilian clothes, and he's bleeding. All of that together means he's... probably not recognizable as Superman? Maybe? It doesn't seem like he's getting his powers back as quickly as I was expecting. Kryptonian + Kryptonite = convincing human? Convincing to doctors? Ugh. This is a terrible choice.

"His powers are temporarily disabled. We'll tell them Clark Kent was shot. I heard the gunfire and came up to make sure he was alright. Can you grab his glasses from his apartment on the way up? Room two-twenty-six B."

I can hear the sirens approaching now. This is not how I was hoping this day would go.

Not long later, Ike bursts out onto the roof. I'm still kneeling in a small pool of Superman's blood. Ike sees me, and him, and freezes.

"Shit."

I nod, "Yeah, I know."

He puts a hand to his head, "How did this even happen?"

"That dragon statue I gave you and Dike? It's made of a material called Kryptonite. As in Krypton, the planet he's from. It's radioactive and can disable or kill Kryptonians."

He's staring at the unconscious alien, "How long until he recovers?"

I shake my head, "I don't know. The comicbooks and movies back home are inconsistent. Could be seconds. Could be weeks. If he gets his powers back while he's in the hospital, we'll need to do what we can to cover it up." I sigh, "The sniper was aiming at me. He took the bullet for me. Who knows if he even knew he was vulnerable. This is my fault."

"It's okay." I look at Ike, and it looks like he's talking just as much to himself as me, "We'll do everything we can. We're not going to let him die." He hands me the glasses.

I carefully rest them on his nose, "It's not just his life that's at risk. It's his life... on earth, with Lois, at the Planet. He needs Clark Kent to keep him grounded, keep him sane, give him off time. And he might lose that because of me."

Ike pulls out his phone, "I'm calling in a favor. If we're lucky we can clear all record of- Yes, hello. I need…"

The EMTs come out onto the roof with a gurney in tow. I stand up and get out of their way as they lift him onto the bed. One of them turns to me, "What happened here?"

I lie, "I heard the gunshots and came up. He was like that when I found him. I don't know what happened. I called as soon as I could."

They start rolling him back towards the door in. I'm surprised they aren't questioning…

Where the fuck is Ike? Where did he even go? We're on the roof! I'm gonna ask him about that later.

I follow the EMTs all the way to the elevator, but there isn't room for me there. So I call the next one and wait.

And here I am again, with nothing to do but wait, with the fate of the most powerful man in the world in the balance.

-|-|-​

I'm waiting in the hospital. Dike is questioning the shooter. They haven't talked yet, but since they didn't bite a pill I'm guessing Ten Rings. Meanwhile, Clark Kent is in surgery. And I have no idea what's happening in there. I'm not family, so I'm not allowed anywhere near him until he's stable. The only update they've given me is that he isn't dead yet.

God I hate this. I want something, anything to do. All my outside knowledge, useless. Firepower, same. I'm not a hopeless work-hard or anything. I've had plenty of downtime on this Earth. But there was always something I could do, if I'd wanted to. Now? I could be here for a while.

Erica Durance storms in and over to me. Shit, I'd forgotten about Lois! She grabs my arm and drags me around a corner.

"What happened up there? I mean what really happened? And don't even think about trying to shit me."

Finally someone who talks my language, "Your fiance had been neglecting his hobby. SHIELD noticed, and asked me to make sure he was okay."

She interrupts, "We have a deal with SHIELD."

"Which would be broken if I were an agent or were reporting back to them. I'm not. I'm a consultant. They contacted me because they had reason to believe I knew Superman's identity."

She glares at me suspiciously, "How do you know, anyway?"

"That's classified." I really need to look into getting a cover story for my outside knowledge... "But the secret is safe with me. The last thing I want is more enemies."

She seems momentarily placated.

"When I found him I got rid of the thing that was making him sick and took him up to the roof." Here comes the bad part, "Unfortunately, one of my pre-existing enemies got involved. There was an assassin after me, and Clark took the bullets. It was all my fault."

She slaps me. She looks like she wants to say something, but just slaps me again instead. She stares in exactly the same way for one… two…

I catch her hand before the next hit, "Use your words."

She rips her hand free and points at me, "If he dies…"

I interrupt her this time, "If he dies I'll never forgive myself, and I'll submit myself to his cousin for whatever Kryptonian punishment she finds appropriate. And I'll do my best to avenge his legacy. This is already one of the worst days of my life."

She still has a lot of pent up anger, but it's not as laser-guided at me anymore.

She asks, "Something was making him sick? What can do that?"

"A radioactive green rock from his homeworld. It's called Kryptonite, and it's basically an open microwave for Kryptonians. Disables their powers, and in large doses can kill them. You're lucky this wasn't a particularly strong alloy. You could've been a widow days ago."

She starts pacing, "It was Dyne, wasn't it? That tacky green statue… I told him gifts were always trouble."

"Since you're his emergency contact, I assume, can you go check on him? The most I can find out is that he's not dead yet."

That seems to snap her out of it. She nods, "Yeah. I should go do that. Don't go anywhere."

As if I'd risk it. I go sit down again.

In a few ways, Lois and I have something in common. We're both smart. But we both follow our gut, probably more often than we should. I remember reading about how she was one of the first reporters in Latveria after Dyne took over. She and Jimmy, black like in "Supergirl" here, actually managed to sneak past castle security and get a picture of Dyne in armor. To date the only time an unenhanced human has done that on record. She's indisputedly the best reporter in the world. And considering the competition is her fiance, that's saying something.

A few minutes later, she comes back out and slumps into the chair next to me.

"They got the bullets out. Now they're just trying to stop the bleeding. They say he'll have scars forever, but… I guess if this stuff took away his strength they might be right."

I look at her. She's handling this really well. "Not forever. Only gold Kryptonite does that. This was just the green stuff, garden variety. He'll be back out and risking his ass again in a week, at most. Don't worry about it."

What a stupid thing to say. Don't worry about it? Her fiance is in the operating room for probably the first time in his life, relatively crippled by sickness, and I'm telling her not to worry? I might as well tell her to take over his hobby for him in the meantime.

I add, "And hey... Who's gonna believe he's who he is now? All he has to say to reject any accusations is 'Hey. Remember that time I got shot?'"

She laughs, briefly. "Thanks. I'm glad someone's seeing the plus side to all this. Even if it is the worst day of your life."

I correct her, "One of the worst. Not the worst, unfortunately. Try losing your whole life, all your friends, family... everything... all overnight. Wake up the next day with a hangover… and at first I didn't even know anything was wrong. I thought we'd taken the wrong train…"

Fuck. This is supposed to be her worst day, and I just dumped a big pile on her.

She looks back at me and says, "Well sounds like you and he might have something in common."

Amelia Hamilton: Interlude

I suture the last incision after my assistant is finished clearing the blood out. We wait a few heartbeats and then the whole team decompresses.

"Patient stabilized at 18:38, 12th of July. Both foreign objects successfully removed with minimal collateral." Despite a lot of his organs being in the wrong place. I'm going to spend weeks studying his x-rays. That was one of the most stressful operations of my life. Who keeps their liver that far up? It's a miracle that man is even alive. Then again, if he weren't a freak of nature one of those bullets would've gone through his heart.

I look down at him, on the table. When he first came into my operating room, his face was crusted over with his own blood. Now, after he's been cleaned off, his glasses gone, I can see it clearly.

And the penny drops.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we just saved Superman."

My team looks at him again, and they see it too. Susan gasps. Leland looks like he might faint.

I hurry my way out of the OR. My team can handle the rest of the cleanup. I need to talk to Ms. Lane. As soon as I enter the waiting room Ms. Lane springs to her feet, along with the other one, the witness.

I speak to Ms. Lane, "Your fiance is going to be fine. But, there's something I have to talk to you about in private."

Both of the women freeze up for a moment, and I suspect we all know what I want to talk about. Ms. Lane nods, "Yeah, sure. Lead the way."

Once we're in my office I close the door and set all three locks, then the blinds.

I take a breath. She probably knows. But, if she somehow doesn't, she has a right to. She's his fiance. He shouldn't keep anything that big a secret.

"Did you know your fiance is Superman?"

She does a lousy job of denying it, "Wha'do you mean?"

"I mean his ribs are too thin, his skin is too thick, his liver is closer to his heart than to where it should be, he'd healed the wounds shut by the time we got him into the OR, and I saw him naked. Those muscles are hard to mistake once you make the connection. He doesn't exactly hide them with that costume." She opens her mouth for another lie, but I continue, "And since you're covering for him I'm assuming you did know. So I'm going to revise my question. Who is he really, behind the mask? Clark Kent? Or Superman?"

She stays speechless for a second before answering, "It's not as simple as that. He's both. And neither. Superman is who he wants to be. Clark is who he needs to be."

"So whenever you two write an article, it's because he spends hours every day at an office when he could be out saving people."

She gives a wicked sneer, "You're a smart women. I think you know it doesn't work like that. There's a reason he rarely works outside Metropolis. If he stretches himself too thin he's no use to anyone when the real disasters strike. And if he spends too much time in blue, he might just lose sight of what made him put on the cape to begin with. And since you suck at asking questions, let me give you one instead. What are you going to do now that you've figured it out?"

I shake my head, "I'm just trying to figure out what kind of a man I just saved. If he even is a man."

She folds her arms, "Most would call him a hero."

"Exactly. Is he a hero or a man? Or a god?"

"He's not a god."

I laugh, "Under what definition? The Greeks would call him one, no question. But I guess he's not Greek. He's not even from our planet!"

She cracks into a smile, "Maybe not. But he works there daily."

Okay. I'll admit that was clever. And I walked right into it.

She continues, "He's not human. But he's not a god. He doesn't consider himself a hero. He thinks of himself as just another man. In all the years I've known the guy, he's never given me reason to doubt that belief. Otherwise I wouldn't be marrying the oaf. I fell in love with the glasses, not the cape."

That's right. I almost lost track of how hilariously bias she is as a source. "You fell in love with an alien. A really convincingly human alien, but still an alien."

"That's funny, I didn't take you for a racist. Because that's what this is. Racism. If it acts like a hero and thinks like a man, what does it matter if he can fly? He was raised in Kansas, for christ sake! What do you want?"

"I want to understand. Why would the most powerful man in the world want to work a desk job? Half the country would kill to be Superman, and the man himself spends all his time trying to be like them?"

She leans back against a wall, "He's sentimental."

We stand in silence for a while. I know what she's saying. Figuratively speaking, biology aside, he's only human. He's not a demon or a god. Just an alien. Like the Spanish conquistadors that came from across the sea and first showed the Americas the power of firearms. Flawed, but ultimately not evil. And definitely not divine.

"I'm not going to go public. If he got hurt this time, it might happen again. And he might need someone to patch him up, especially in his line of work."

She crosses her arms, "Not that I'm not grateful, but what's in it for you?"

"I happen to become an ally of the second most powerful person on the planet. He'll owe me one."

She nods, "Protection, favors. Smart. Also extortion. I can't speak on his behalf, but the others who've tried to find out haven't ended up better off."

I shake my head, "I'm not threatening anything. I'm offering a service. A trade. Superman needs a doctor. I see a benefit in giving him one. It's not about his identity at all. I know. I see no reason to tell anyone else. That's not changing either way."

"You're a very practical person."

I shrug, "I do my best. I'm a scientist. It comes with the field."

Another pause, where we just try and stare each other down. She's not budging, and neither am I.

I ask, "So do we have a deal?"

-|-|-​

It's been half an hour since Amelia Hamilton pulled Lois away to talk. I finally figured out why her name is familiar. Hamilton was that old guy in the animated series who cloned Supergirl for Cadmus. So I'm guessing she's either related, or a gender swap. Considering Kara looks like her television version, and the treatment that show gave Brainiac, I'm guessing the second.

Which brings up a lot of questions about what exactly my influence is on this world. If she is related to a canon character, the chances of it being coincidence are negligible. But, Superman only came here today because he took a bullet for me, which would seem to suggest I just caused the meeting of two canon characters that should have happened anyway. So, was it going to happen later, or would it not even have happened without me? Until now I've assumed that my actions divert the timeline from the course of canon events. But now, that's not…

I'm overthinking it. I'm in a comicbook world. It's nonsensical comicbook temporal bullshit.

Lois and Hamilton round the corner. Hamilton comes over and says, "He's waking up. Do you want to see him?"

Well, I have no idea what they were talking about for half an hour. But I suspect I'm about to find out. I stand up, "Yeah, thanks."

We walk in a completely awkward silence into a recovery room where Clark Kent lies in a bed hooked up to all sorts of equipment. His head sluggishly flops over to face us and at the sight of his fiance a smile emerges.

Lois hurries straight over and kneels to be face to face. She runs a hand through his hair, "Hey, Smallville."

He closes his eyes at the feel of her hand, "Hey Lois." Then he looks over her shoulder at me, "Are you okay?"

Fuck you. No-one should be that nice, "Yeah, I'm fine. I should really be asking you that." I point with my head at Hamilton, "Or maybe I should be asking her that."

He briefly tries to sit up, "I'm goo-" He winces and lies back again, "I've been better."

Lois kisses him, "And you will be better again. Xavier says you should have your strength back in a week or two, so you better do it by Monday. Got it?"

He looks between Lois, me, and Hamilton questioningly.

Lois bites her lip and steels herself to deliver the bad news, "Doctor Hamilton figured it out. She says she's not going to tell anyone, but... Two people in a day is pretty lousy luck." She gives a sad smile, "We had a pretty good thing there, for a while."

I step forward, "The secret isn't out yet. It's just... slightly less in."

Clark gives a short chuckle that descends into a deathly cough. Ow. That doesn't sound good.

Someone bursts in behind me and I turn to hear what Ike has to say that's worth being seen by all these people, "Someone called the press. Reporters from pretty much every paper except the Planet have arrived asking to get a picture of Superman's wounds or a statement."

Hamilton frowns, "Shit. I'll talk to my staff and see who blabbed."

Lois snaps at her, "Your staff knew and you didn't think to mention that?"

"I thought I'd have time to talk to them before anyone talked to anyone else. Clearly, someone had other ideas."

I talk to Ike, "Can SHIELD cover this up? Discredit the tip? What exactly did they say? Did they say who Superman is or just that he's here?"

He taps his foot nervously, "There aren't any other shooting victims here. We'd need to call in more agents, which would mean revealing his identity to all of them... It would still be difficult." He looks at Superman himself, "We'd need your approval."

Clark broods in thought for a second, "The alternative is everyone finding out. I don't think I have much of a choice. Tell Fury we might need to renegotiate our agreement."

Ike nods and leaves the room, his hand moving up to his earpiece. His voice is muffled by the door on the way out.

Hamilton says to Clark, "I have to go find out who talked. Maybe I can help Xavier's friend keep things quiet. We'll talk later." He nods and she follows Ike out.

The three of us sit in silence for a few seconds.

Lois asks her fiance, "If this is the end of the secret, the end of Superman, what'll we do?"

He shakes his head, "Move to the Fortress full time. I couldn't protect you here. Let's just hope SHIELD knows what they're doing." He cough-laughs again, "For the first time... I don't think there's anything I can do."

I guess the feeling's going around.

I answer, "SHIELD is good at coverups. Ever heard of Ant-Man?"

They both stare blankly at me. Clark says, "The Cold War urban legend? I thought he was just a myth. You mean there really was an Ant-Man?"

I give a coy smile and say nothing.

Lois nods back, "Point taken."

I look back to Clark, "Look, Clark… Kal… I'm sorry about all this. I didn't mean for anyone to-"

He interrupts me, "It's alright, Xavier. It's not your fault."

"But it is, though! If I hadn't come to check on you you wouldn't have gotten shot. No bullet means no doctor means no press and no coverup. Everything comes back to me being careless. I have too many powerful enemies to make stupid mistakes like that."

He shakes his head, "You were trying to save me. You couldn't have known how things would turn out."

I raise an eyebrow, "Is that what you tell yourself? When things go sour?"

He laughs again, and manages for a few moments this time before the cough takes over, "No. I try to do better the next time."

"So who the hell am I to not take Superman's example. Next time. Maybe if we're lucky there won't even be a next time." Fuck that. My luck, next time will be tomorrow.

He looks sadly down at the floor, "I never asked for anyone to use me as an example. I'm just a kid from Kansas trying to do the right thing."

I playfully add, "A kid from Kansas who can bench press a truck, on a good day at least."

He leans back and coughs again, "Yeah, well… Sometimes I think I just don't know when to quit."

-|-|-​

I stand on one side of a makeshift barricade made of gurneys and cabinets near the main entrance to the hospital. The constant flash of cameras is almost equal to the cacophony of questions directed at no-one in particular. A line of police, or maybe agents in disguise, I'm not sure, hold the barricade. Some lucky reporter finds a crawlspace through the line and makes a break down the hall, only to get tackled by one of the medical staff.

This is chaos. This is my chaos. The reaping of everything I've done in the past two weeks. And I can't do a damn thing more.

Everyone in the hospital staff knows who Superman is, now. Doesn't take a genius if you saw Clark go in. If these cops are real, they probably know too.

SHIELD is handling the coverup. I've seen a few of the "cops" confiscating cameras, or even sometimes just smashing them. Clark fell back unconscious a few minutes ago. Lois is with him, keeping her head down and away from the cameras.

Oh look. That's James Olsen. I guess the Planet has someone here after all.

I'm trying to think of all the ways this could get worse. I mean, ever since I got this assignment it's done nothing but. No reason to think it'll stop now. Mandarin could show up. Or Luthor. Or Dyne himself. God this is a mess.

Another reporter breaks through the line and I deck them. Thank you, Mike.

Ike comes up to me, "A word." I follow him into a nearby office, where he immediately closes the shades. "In light of the newfound openness of information, A new head of op has been assigned."

I raise an eyebrow, "You?"

"I am not at liberty to disclose-"

"Oh come on, Ike! So that's it. I'm cut out of my own mission."

He isn't making eye contact, "You succeeded your mission. You discovered the condition and whereabouts of Superman."

"Exposing his identity to probably dozens of people in the process. Not to mention nearly getting him killed. This is my mess."

Now he does look at me, "That doesn't mean you're the best choice to clean it up." Well fuck. He's got a point there. "You have no experience with coverups, no clearance to alter records or negotiate with witnesses, and no authority to command other agents. This isn't your op anymore. Let it go."

We both take a moment.

He continues, "I won't pretend it's ideal. I'd like to let you help. But you're good for two things: Fire, and information. We have all the information we need, and there's nothing to burn."

Well there's an idea... "What if there were?"

He crosses his arms, "...I'm listening."

"People think Superman is here. What if it turned out to be some other 'Special' person instead? Could that satiate the press?"

The cogs are turning, "You mean-"

"I mean what if I'd been shot on that rooftop instead, and some poor staffer got excited when a fire started in the OR." Not that I'm looking forward to getting shot, but, any way I can help... "Ike, be honest. Have you really never fantasized about shooting me in the back before?"

He smiles. A smile! I made Ike smile! I feel accomplished, "It's too thin. You don't exactly look like Superman. Besides, they've already seen you uninjured." Shit. Didn't think of that. "I appreciate that you're trying to help. But you can't. You can wait with Lois for him to wake up again, or we can send you back to base. But you're off the op."

"Well, at least if I'm here I can keep an eye on him for you. Let you know if he dies or anything."

He smiles again! This must be a good day for him. "Thank you."

So I walk back to Clark's room. Lois turns when the door opens and gives me the closest thing to a smile that I think she's capable of mustering right now. I take a chair in the corner and lean back, closing my eyes for a bit.

I've been under stress before. But at least it was busy stress. This is just exhausting, the duration of the whole thing. Maybe a nap would do me some good.

I hear a big crash right in front of me.

I open one eye, and see James Olsen on the floor covered in busted ceiling tiles. A glance up confirms the large hole that he just fell through.

He stands, dusting himself off, "Sorry Lois. How did you get in here? Are you after the Superman tip too? It can't be true, I mean, a bullet? We've both seen him take those be…" He sees Clark in bed, "...fore…"

He looks back at Lois, and back at Clark. And back at Lois. And back again, at Clark.

"Huh."

There's an awkward pause while everyone appraises the situation.

James tells Lois, "So, you knew."

She confirms, "Yeah. I've known for a while now." She indicates me, "She knows too, so no need to be coy."

He nods, "I thought you might, but I never wanted to push. But, Clark."

She smiles, "Everything makes a little more sense now, huh?"

"Yeah. You could say that. I always wondered why he never joined you for your Superman interviews."

I feel like I'm interrupting something. Even though I've been here longer than James. This is an important life event for him, and Clark. Shame Clark isn't awake for it.

But, since I am here... I stand and hold out my hand, "Xavier Bronze. I'm familiar with your work, Mister Olsen."

He shakes my hand with a smile, "Always nice to meet a fan. How did you meet… Clark?"

"Earlier today. I was looking for him since he'd been gone for so long, and he wound up taking a bullet for me. I... have powerful enemies."

"Powerful enough to hurt Supe- ...Clark with bullets? How did you know where to look for him, anyway?"

I scratch the back of my head, "That's classified. But it wasn't the bullet that made him vulnerable. Or my enemies, for that matter. He's been sick because of radiation poisoning."

He crosses his arms with a stern expression, "Classified."

Going over all these details again and again is getting pretty old.

Lois answers him for me, "She's SHIELD. You know, the people who confiscated our footage from that subway tunnel."

He nods, "Government. So he hasn't kept his secret from everyone."

"SHIELD doesn't know. I do. They sent me specifically because of it, but I haven't reported his identity to them. I've been ordered not to, actually."

Lois frowns, "Well SHIELD knows now. They're helping cover up the whole thing, thanks to Xavier." She nods at me, and I respond with an appreciative smile. At least I might come out of this with one or two more allies. It's nice to think of an up side.

Clark stirs and sluggishly opens his eyes. He sees James and turns to Lois.

Lois sums up, "Jimmy knows. We brought him up to speed."

Thank god that didn't take long.

Clark waves, "Hey Jim."

He sighs, "I've told you both, I'm going by James now."

Well he's adjusting fast.

Clark looks apologetic, "Right, James. Sorry. Still getting used to that."

He shakes his head, "We've both got things to get used to now." He pauses, then, "When you destroyed that new costume I had made for you…"

"Yeah, sorry about that. The Trickster had used some nasty alien nanites to turn it into a bomb."

"And you didn't tell me because?..."

"He had my mom hostage."

I do everything I can to hold back a giggle. It's not funny... "Martha?"

He stays thankfully unaware of my amusement, looking at me with scrutiny, "You know some time you're gonna have to tell me how you know so much about me."

I sigh. Oh, what the fuck. We're already swimming in a shitstorm anyway, "I'm from another universe, where you and everyone here are fictional characters, in movies and tv shows based on comicbooks."

All three of them stare at me blankly for about a half second before Lois cracks up and near bends over laughing. She tries to stifle it and glances up, before bursting into another round. Jimmy looks over at her and gets a smile, before starting a chuckle of his own. Pretty soon he's laughing too, and Clark is looking between them and me with the kind of amused confused expression that only truly absurdist humor can get.

I hold back my own laughter, but a smile finds its way out anyway, "I'm not joking!" There comes the laughter, "It's the truth! I really am from another universe!" That's about the last coherent sentence I can get out before the infectious mood takes over my lungs and diaphragm, "Movies... And" Nope, not finishing that explanation until this dies down. If it dies down.

The whole oddity of my situation just hit me in a whole new light. It's scared me, it's stressed me out, it's even inspired me. But now, it's just so completely absurd. I mean, really! I'm in a room with Superman and his two sidekicks! Bloody fucking Superman! A fictional character! The fictional character! My life is like a fucking knock-knock joke, and thanks to Lois I finally got the punchline.

But it does die down, given a few minutes. And Lois wipes the tears away from her eyes, "Another universe, eh?"

When did I sit down again? That's the hardest I've laughed… ever, actually. Wow, thanks Lois, "Yup. I call it Earth Prime. This here is Earth One. No idea how many more there are, but those are the two I've been too." Unless you count the Spirit World. Or the Bifrost. Or Jersey. "Thanks for that, Lois. I think I needed that."

Clark grins, "I think we all needed that."

Oh shit, "Hey Clark, your cough is gone. How do you feel?"

Lois and James turn to hear his response. He gets the Eureka look and looks himself over, "I actually feel fine. Strong, even."

He takes out the IVs and removes sensors from various places so he can stand unhindered. Lois reaches to support him, but he indicates for her to let him try on his own power. And he stands, with a slight limp. And walks, and with each step the limp fades away.

Once he's crossed the room, he reaches for a metal crutch. And then he bends it, slowly, with strain. He sets it aside and closes his eyes. It looks like he's trying to clear his mind. I know that look from my own power training. He's trying to get into a mindset.

And then he rises. Just a few inches, but still. It's a very strange thing to see. There's nothing supporting him, and no signs of any kind of thrust. He just… floats. Like he's in water.

I smile, "See, Lois? I told you he'd be back up in no time."

-|-|-​

Escaping the hospital without being seen was easy, once Clark got some of his powers back. X-rays telling us where the people to avoid were. Speed bursts to move short distances unseen. We got him some clothes, and he flew out a back-alley window, then circled back around to make an appearance in the crowd of reporters as Clark.

I loosen my shoulders and take a deep breath, sinking into an armchair in Clark's apartment. It's been a long day. And it's not over yet. Fury's on his way to personally renegotiate SHIELD's deal with Superman, now that they know who he is.

It's more complicated than that, though. Clark knows that they're willing to help him, which means at least for now they list him among the good guys. So he has leverage too. They both know the other, and they both know that they're on the same side. The old deal was made in the early years of Superman's career, when people were still hosting xenophobic marches in the streets. It's probably about time they sat down for another talk anyway, now that he's had a decade to prove himself.

Lois brings me some coffee, "You doing alright, P-Brane?"

I chuckle at the new nickname, "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks. How about Clark?"

She sits on the sofa across the coffee table from me. The same sofa Clark leaned against when I first met him.

God, was that really just earlier today? My life has gotten a lot faster since I moved Earths.

"We replaced his bandages and now he's prepping to meet the spymaster general. It was past time those two got together again anyway. Especially since Stark started parading around in that damn suit."

I nod, "How involved is he willing to get? We might be putting a team together next year. Stark's on the short list, but I have a few recommendations of my own I want to pitch to Fury while he's here."

"A team of foolhardy do-gooders leashed to the world's biggest conspiracy theorist wet dream come true?"

"I think I might be on the list too."

She smirks, "You'll have to ask him, but I doubt he'd react well to the oversight. Governments haven't always liked him very much."

"The DEO?" That gets an eyebrow, "SHIELD isn't the DEO. You'd be surprised how little oversight there might be with SHIELD."

She shakes her head, "You can ask."

A knock on the door. Lois stands and walks over to answer it.

Nick Fucking Fury. Samuel L. Jackson with an eyepatch and a bad attitude. Finally good to meet the boss.

I shout, "Yo, Nick! How come I have to get a hero shot to be worth talking to?"

He walks right past Lois, not even pretending to think that she matters, "Xavier Bronze, the Clairvoyant."

I wince, "I keep asking to get that codename changed."

He is a commanding presence, "Coulson and Hill have told me very interesting things. I've read every report. It's high past time we talked in person." He turns back to Lois, "Speaking of overdue conversations, where is the man of the hour?"

"Here."

Clark steps out in a very nice blue suit that, unlike most of his 'Clark' clothes, hugs his musculature very pleasantly. Is that a Superman logo tie? Oh. I look over the whole ensemble again. He's not wearing his glasses… It's a Superman formal suit. Red trim, pentagonal angles. I wonder when he had that made.

He stands tall across the room from Fury, "Director."

To their credit, neither man flinch. To hers, Lois looks right at home among titans. Myself, my instincts are telling me to bolt out the door. My survival instinct says this is too much power in one room at once.

Everyone stands silent for another second or two, and then Fury breaks the ice, "We help keep your secret, you don't interfere with our operations. Your side of the deal stays the same. Hell, I might even throw in some intel on what Lex does behind lead doors."

Clark is caught off guard.

Nick scoffs, "Don't look at me like that. SHIELD likes the world, and you happen to be one of the best in the world at protecting it. We may prefer different methods, but it's hard to argue with your results."

He quickly recollects himself, "I can't help but notice that your agents never gave the Kryptonite statue back."

"Call it insurance. I make it a point of personal pride that no-one maintains power without accountability."

"Except you."

"I'm accountable. SHIELD isn't a dictatorship."

Right. The World Security Council. And Alexander Pierce. I know how that worked out for them. Maybe it would be better if he weren't accountable. Dictatorships worked in Rome for hundreds of years before it went bad.

Fury continues, "If we wanted you dead we had the perfect opportunity to make that a reality earlier today. We're on the same side."

Clark looks sceptical, "What side is that?"

"Homeworld security. Right now you're our first line of defense against full-scale alien invasion."

Lois asks, "Until you get your team together?"

Nick turns to glare at me, but it's not the "You're dead" glare. It's the "What the hell do you think you're doing?" glare.

I shrug back, "I was planning to ask why Clark wasn't being considered anyway. The Avengers is right up his alley."

He rolls his eye, obviously peeved, "Well since you bring it up."

Clark pushes, curious, "The Avengers?"

I answer, much to Fury's chagrin, "Earth's Mightiest Heroes type thing. You, Stark, the Hulk, and probably me, among others." I turn to Fury, "I have some recommendations by the way. John Constantine, Matt Murdock, Melinda May, Jessica Jones. Colonel Rhodes has his own Iron Man suit if you don't want to deal with Stark's ego, and who could blame you-"

"Shut. Up." I comply. "There is a civilian reporter in the room, Ms. Bronze. Whoever her spouse may be you will not discuss confidential government operations with her present."

His sheer force of will gets me feeling kind of sheepish under the scrutiny, "Sorry."

Lois is grinning like a madman, "Maybe the solution is for the civilian reporter to leave the talking to the big boys." She gives Clark a kiss on the cheek, "I'll see you later. Tell me how it goes."

What follows is a long conversation that can ultimately be summed up as Clark and Fury repeatedly agreeing with each other while trying to maintain their collective masculinity.

It might be worth bringing Clark up at the next Order of the Phoenix meeting. If he knew, he might be able to… Do what? He couldn't do anything until Hydra outs itself in three years. There's no obvious face to punch or bomb to throw into space. That would be like asking him to solve political corruption. It's just not his domain. Hydra is a job for spies, not Supers.

Finally, Clark brings up the interesting part, "And about your team? If you want me to sign anything I'm gonna need to know what kinds of things you'd be sending us to do."

Fury takes a deep breath, "The Avengers Initiative is still in the planning stages. Ms. Bronze spoke severely out of place."

I innocently admire the ceiling.

Clark pushes the issue, "But since I know anyway…"

"The Avengers was originally theorized as a response to you or one of your kind if we ever had a need for it."

"Gee, thanks."

Fury pretends not to have heard that, "Now that you've proven yourself an ally," And now that SHIELD has an alternative failsafe in the Kryptonite, "you're the first person we'll ask, should the time come that the project is activated."

"But, what would the average mission look like? What kind of orders would we get? What limitations would be put on the actions we could take?"

"The Avengers Initiative is a Hail Mary, Mr. Kent. There is no average mission that would call for it."

Clark nods, "I still have a lot of questions, but if the situation is dire enough, you can count on me to be there."

Oh right, like if a big-ass portal opened up over New York and started spewing alien murderbots? Sometimes I wonder just how close to canon things would've gone without me here. I mean, Superman's gotta change something about the Avengers, right? Or the Sokovia Accords? And if my suspicion is correct, Arrow couldn't possibly take place in a world with the Avengers in it, could it?

Well there's no point in worrying about that now. I'm here. Things are different.

Fury holds out his hand and Clark shakes it, "I appreciate that, Mr. Kent." He starts walking out, "Ms. Bronze."

I take that as a prompt to follow him. Man, Fury walks fast.

"Melinda May."

I look at him, "Sorry?"

"You suggested Melinda May for the Avengers. Why not Romanoff? Or Morse?"

Ah, "Romanoff is already on the list. Bobbi may be good, but May's better. She can take down opponents so far outside her weight class it boggles the mind."

He nods, "And your other recommendations. Who are they?"

No reason to bring up Oliver or Kara. I don't know where Oliver is, and I might as well let Kara have a few more years peace before her life gets crazy.

"Well, sir, you know Rhodes. War Machine. In combat brings most of the same stuff to the table as Tony, and he's a much better team player. Matt Murdock is a fighter on par with Romanoff who has superhuman senses. Jessica Jones is super strong. Not quite Hulk but probably stronger than Rogers was. John Constantine is a magician."

He raises a skeptical eyebrow at me as we enter the elevator, "A magician?"

"Yup. Magic. It's real. Deal with it. The Avengers are likely to run into it sooner or later, so it's better if they have an expert on the scene, and Constantine's one of the best. Or at least most... creative."

He takes a second to think of a response, "Constantine, Murdock, Jones. None of these people are on SHIELD's index."

"No, I didn't think they were."

"So you just knew about them, just like you know who we're already considering."

"Pretty much. All from Earth Prime. Can I ask why you're still considering Tony instead of Rhodes? I know I keep bringing it up, but it seems like a pretty obvious switch, considering Romanoff's evaluation is spot-on." Ultron and the Civil War would've never happened with Rhodey.

He turns to me, "I don't believe we are anymore." Ouch. Sorry, Tony. The elevator dings open on the bottom floor and we walk out, "Thank you for the recommendations, Ms. Bronze."

I hesitate to ask, "Can I ask another question, Director Fury?"

He stops and looks at me, "You can ask."

"Did Hill tell you-"

His hand jumps up his comms unit, "Make sure the truck is gassed when we get back. I don't want the next person who uses it getting stranded."

His message comes through loud and clear. This isn't a safe place to talk about that.

"You were saying?"

I instantly think of something else, "Am I being considered for the Avengers?"

He looks amused, and then walks on, "Like I said. You can ask."

There are good and bad parts to working with SHIELD. The almost bottomless resources are nice. The constant inscrutable answers and lack of information... not so much.

Nick moves us on to a new topic as we climb into a government issue black truck, "You were attacked by the Ten Rings this morning. Care to tell me why?"

So it was the Ten Rings, "I think I made it pretty clear in my report, sir. I met a Ten Rings operative in the Spirit World. They asked me to steal something the Mandarin wants. I said I would, and then betrayed them to get back here."

"The Spirit World. Forgive me if I found that report a little hard to believe."

I chuckle, "Just wait until Star Labs gets up and running. You'll have to start believing in things a lot more far fetched than the Spirit World and magic."

"Very few things frighten me. We left one of them in that apartment up there. But when I read the things you've said about where this world is headed, and the kinds of threats we might have to face… It frightens me to think that you might be right."

I smile, "Don't worry. At the front of every new frontier of crazy, there's usually someone willing to help who knows what they're doing."

"Why do I get the feeling you're talking about yourself?"

I freeze, "I… honestly didn't think of that until you just said it. I was talking about Stephen Strange, actually."

"The doctor?"

Damn it. I need to learn to shut my mouth more. I point at Fury warningly, "Leave him alone. He might become a valuable ally someday. But only if you let his story play out like it's supposed to. No interference. In fact it might be best if you not share that I said that name at all."

He nods briefly, "Consider it forgotten."

-|-|-​

We didn't make it back to H.O.M.E., did we?

I try to shake the ringing out of my ears, but that only makes the blood rush to my head faster. I'm upside down. I think our car just ran over a landmine. I need to get out.

I unclasp my seatbelt, and fall down on my head against the roof of the car. Ow. At least it looks like Fury made it out. The others weren't as lucky. One agent has a large piece of shrapnel protruding from their skull. It's a really good thing I was riding in the back with Fury.

The door came off sometime during the crash, so I don't have to worry about getting it open. I crawl over to the opening.

A set of military boots appear next to my head. They're not SHIELD.

Landmine + non-SHIELD military equipment…

When I hear a rifle safety being clicked off I don't wait for whatever comes next. I fry them. Full-power blast. They're knocked back more than a meter and writhe in an attempt to put out the flames.

I wrest myself free from the wreckage as quickly as I can. Three more people in similar equipment raise their guns.

Fury comes right the fuck out of nowhere holding the loose car door, just in time to protect us both from the gunfire. Looks like SHIELD splurged to make even the windows bulletproof.

I raise my voice to be heard over the cacophony of war, "Ten Rings!"

Fury nods, taking a few potshots with his sidearm from around the side of our makeshift shield. One of them actually hits, but doesn't get through their body armor.

We start advancing as carefully as we can. I look up through the window and see one of them pulling the pin on a- "Grenade!"

Fury waits for it to fly, and then rushes ahead to meet it. He angles the door upward and shield bashes the projectile, sending it right back to sender. That's two more soldiers down.

This man is a badass.

He hands me a pistol. I take it and disable the safety.

We're about three meters away from our assailant when the remaining gunman runs out of ammo. Fury stands and sprints toward him, throwing the car door. Very Rogers of you, Director. The door misses, but buys us the extra half second distraction I need to shoot him in the jaw. Took three shots, but hey. All those nights at the firing range weren't put to waste after all.

There's that little moment I've become all too familiar with, once the immediate threat is gone and I try to deal with what just happened. I smell my first kill behind me, and hear the flames. Doesn't bother me, particularly. They were Ten Rings. Terrorists. And they were trying to kill me. Any court on earth would rule in my favor. But I remember how sacred all life was to Alex, and there's a ping of guilt, as if I owe something to him.

No, there's no telling if I'll ever even see him again. I need to live for me. And in this world that means killing sometimes.

Fury empties two more rounds into each fallen soldier. Then he returns his attention to me, "Are you alright?"

I'm panting, mostly because of the stress, "Yeah. Not my first assassination attempt today. I've just never killed anyone before."

He nods solemnly. He puts his hand to his comms unit, "This is Director Fury requesting immediate evac. We have multiple negative hostiles. Possible reinforcements on the way."

Only about twenty seconds later I hear a helicopter approaching.

When it lands the first person out is Ike. He runs over and leads me back to the copter, "The Ten Rings won't get you. Not as long as you're with SHIELD."

"I know. Thanks, Ike."

A few minutes into the journey I see another helicopter in the distance, barely a speck. And then it explodes, with a sonic boom heralding the jet that shot it down.

They must really want me dead. At this point I'm starting to wonder why the Mandarin himself hasn't just done the deed already. It's obviously important to him. I mean, I'm glad he hasn't shown up, obviously. But this is war with SHIELD, over one person. Why would they risk it?

I guess I did cost them one of the Makluan Rings. That's kinda a big deal, to them. To him. Which again begs the question why he hasn't done anything himself. But I guess I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Except this is one fucking suspicious horse.

We finally touch down at an airstrip, and the agents funnel me and Ike straight from the helicopter onto a jet. Fury goes off somewhere else. The jet takes off and I'm back in that confusing state of stressful boredom. For all I know I could die at any second. But it's been that way for hours now. Hell, almost all day. I started this mission before business hours, and now it's getting dark.

Oh what the hell. If I die, I'll die just as easily if I'm asleep. Ike's here to keep me safe. I lean back and go to sleep.

When I wake up, I'm in a bed. A soft bed, with real pillows and a fucking duvet. I get up and exit the bedroom.

Ike's there, of course. So's Dike. This is the safehouse Daisy stayed in, in Agents of SHIELD. Wasn't all that safe for her though…

I acknowledge my bodyguards, "Hey."

They acknowledge me back. Ike looks like shit.

"Ike, have you slept?"

He fidgets, "Well, I-"

I point into the bedroom, "Go." He looks like he's about to protest, "Now." Thankfully he doesn't fight the issue any more, and peacefully pushes past me to the bed.

Dike puts his hands up, "Don't look at me. 8 hours. Longer than you."

I look for a clock. 5:40 AM. I sigh and walk over to the coffee pot that Ike probably made sometime last night.
 
Metropolis Bonus
It's been two and a half weeks since I came to this safehouse. I'm currently banging my head against a wall. The safehouse has no internet, because that could potentially be traced. It has a few board games. But there's only so many games of Chess and Battleship the same three people can play. Yesterday I disassembled and reassembled every piece of furniture that wasn't bolted down.

What I would give for a Cards Against Humanity deck around now. Or some booze. We emptied the cabinet five days ago.

Mike walks by in his underwear, "Hey Xavier." We gave up on modesty after the first week. Except Ike, that is. He's still a stickler.

Okay, my head is actually starting to hurt. I stop and flop on a couch face down. And groan, as loudly as I can.

OW!

I jerk up to a sitting position and rub my arm. Ike is standing, holding a taser. He looks at me with not a hint of apology, "I've always wanted to do that."

"Tase someone or tase me?"

"Both."

We pause for a few seconds. "...Do you want to do it again?"

He shakes his head dejectedly, "You'd just know it was coming."

Our one-way radio blares to life and the three of us immediately scurry over, eager to hear something from the outside.

"Transport incoming. Please clear the landing area."

I manage to remember to pull a real shirt on. We all pour outside and see a helicopter touching down. It's Jane and Erik, and… Agent Darby? Amazing. People. Real other people.

Darby yells as he steps out, "When I found out where you were I thought you could use some company. Coulson told me about your friends here."

The helicopter noise starts to wane as the engine slows to a halt. Jane walks over to me and smiles, "Hey. So you're a fugitive now? Some sort of witness protection?"

I shrug, "Ten Rings told me to do something. I didn't want to make them gods. How are you?"

"With SHIELD, actually. Since you recommended me, and vouched for them. They have me… doing exactly what I was doing before, now that I think about it." She has a nice laugh, "Hunting potential wormholes around the world."

"That's great! Maybe I can talk them into sending us on a mission together."

Erik and I exchange pleasant nods, "Xavier. I'm glad to see you're well."

"Erik. You working for SHIELD too?"

"Yes, in a different capacity. They have me studying some kind of artifact they found in the ocean. I hesitate to say 'alien', but after these past few months I don't know what else to call it."

How about the Tesseract.

I turn to Darby, "Thank you, Agent Darby. Really."

He smiles, "Everyone needs their friends. And please, call me Jack." Ooh, I'm getting butterflies in my lower tummy. This man is asking for it. And I'm inclined to provide. If only we had booze, I could get him drunk.

Erik reaches back into the helicopter and pulls out… a large cooler.

"Erik, please tell me that's what I think it is."

"Scotch, rum, whiskey, and bourbon." He gives a challenging glance, "I hope you have the stomach for it."

I point at him, "You're on. Also, you're awesome." I look to the group, "You all are. Thank you. This is exactly what I needed. How long are you here for?"

Jane answers, "Three days. Then we have to get back to our various assignments."

"Well then we have three days to empty that cooler. That's how much fun we're gonna have. Got it?"

There's a cheerful glint in Erik's eye, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

I see a few other agents unloading some heavy electronics. "What are they up to?"

Jack answers, "Oh, just installing a new hardline to the nearest base. Should take a week, but once it's done you'll have a safe connection to the outside world."

I pretty much squeal and lift Jack off the ground by his shoulders. Several other superficially vocal sounds of excitement follow.

Once his feet touch the ground he peels me off, "I thought you might say something like that. Three weeks with no internet? I'd be getting pretty stark crazy too."

"I don't know if I'm quite on his level yet."

Mike walks over to Jane and hugs her in greeting. When did they get so chummy?

We all go inside. Some people are already there, tearing the wooden facade off one of the walls to reveal the true bunker-like plating that laces the whole place.

Later that night Erik, Mike and I have already made a dent in the cooler. Jack brought a poker set too, the angel. Jane's surprisingly good at it. Only she, Mike, and Jack are still in the game. I'm standing, watching from behind her chair.

This is one of the highest stakes rounds yet and she's bluffing big time. She pushes in just enough to get Jack all-in. He's sweating, metaphorically. Wondering if she's actually got it or not. I'm carefully controlling my features to avoid sabotaging her poker face.

He folds! And so does Mike. Holy cow. That's the game right there. She has enough chips now to put them both all-in every round for a while. Mike and Jack look at each other and silently negotiate.

Jack stands up and slides his chips over to Mike, "If I get you another drink do you think you can slay the dragon over there?"

Mike shakes his head, "Odds don't look good."

I give Jane a pat on the shoulder, "You got this, girl. Whoop his ass." And I follow Jack over to the fridge.

Jack gets himself a beer and hands me one, "That woman is impossible to read."

I take a swig, "You're pretty tough yourself."

He looks from the table over to me and gives a winning smirk, "You're not."

"I don't usually see much reason to lie about what I'm thinking."

He laughs, "Unusual, for a spy."

"Consultant."

He shakes his head, "Right. And I'm the Director. You know they're just waiting for an excuse to let you skip the Academy, right?"

I deadpan, "Congratulations on the promotion. Sir."

We walk back over to the table and give fresh drinks to our respective horses in the race. Jane doesn't even notice. She's so focused I'm not sure she even noticed that I left.

The cards are against her again, and it looks like Mike won big the rounds I was gone. They're almost even now.

Mike is noticeably nervous, but keeping it together. He can't afford to be bluffed out very many more times. Especially with the anti increasing like it is. Come on Jane. Just a few good rounds.

Jack and I exchange challenging glares, like fans of opposing sports teams.

This is pretty great, I gotta admit. I've got people. Jack barely knows me and he organized this whole visit. I've got a job where I get to help people, even if it is often dangerous. I've got a H.O.M.E. to come back to once the Ten Rings is off my scent. There's a lot about this world that sucks, but I've done pretty well for myself so far.

I wait a few seconds for the explosion and chaos that surely follows thoughts like that. It doesn't come. Just the peaceful sound of cheap plastic chips on a table and the shuffling of cards.

A few hours later Mike falls asleep in his seat. I guess besides Erik he did drink the most of anyone. And Erik passed out a half-hour ago.

Jack shakes him a little, but can't get him back up. I lean in close to Jane's ear, "I guess that means you win by default." She looks somewhat unsatisfied by that outcome.

Jack rubs his eye, "I think I might follow Mike's lead. I'll see you two in the morning."

He walks back to one of the bedrooms, without me. Damn. I guess I got him a little too drunk.

I turn back to Jane, "What about you?"

She seems like one of those people who gets energy from alcohol. She's tired, but drunk enough to shrug it off, "I'm okay for another hour, if you want to do something."

"Well I don't think I'd do Mike justice taking over his hand." An eyebrow goes up without asking me, "What did you have in mind?"

She looks out one of the windows wistfully, "The stars are visible here. I haven't gotten a chance to really look at them since New Mexico."

So that's how I wind up lying in the grass, stargazing with Jane. I lie down first, and she lies herself right next to me. I don't move, or move her away, so now we're practically cuddling. She's resting her head on my shoulder and one arm over my stomach, making the only comfortable place left for my left arm under her head like a pillow.

I've thought about it, of course. It would be hard not to, with the way I've caught her looking at me. Same way she looked at Thor. I'm not generally opposed. She's Hollywood gorgeous, smarter than anyone on my home Earth, and loyal almost to a fault.

She tilts her head up to look at me. Our faces are now millimeters apart, and I'm very aware of it. I check to make sure my hands aren't anywhere too suggestive.

She kisses me, and I don't stop her. I even kiss back. It's actually really nice. For a second it's even enough to make me forget how drunk she is.

But, then she lets out a tiny little moan, and I realize that she would never be this forward with her judgement intact. Which is a real shame because that was sexy as fuck.

I push her away, and back off myself breaking skin contact completely, "Wait."

She looks hurt. Shit! I didn't want that!

I sigh. I need more brainpower than I currently have to properly explain this, "Jane, you're drunk." That's not it. We're both consenting adults, and she initiated. I know that's not the only thing about this bothering me, "Jane, you don't like me."

She laughs it off, slightly annoyed, "Of course I do."

I sit up, "No, you don't. Because the way you look at me is exactly the way you looked at Thor... in the movies back on Earth Prime. And if you hadn't noticed, I'm not Thor. I don't look like him and I don't act like him. So it has nothing to do with me." She starts to protest but I interrupt, "I think, it's the mystery. You don't like me, you like the scientific…" Come on, where's that term, "Progress, doors that meeting me… provides. Opens. Whatever. You know what I mean."

Her annoyance is getting more pronounced, "I'm not sure I do."

Ugh, the words. This is harder than it should be. I wish I hadn't drunken so much, "I fell out of the sky, and finding me brought you into a whole new world of crazy that you can study, and analyse, and science the shit out of. You're excited, which I get. But you don't like me. You're just getting your wires crossed. And we're both drunk, and I can't let you do anything you'll regret tomorrow. I'm a piece of shit anyway, you deserve better."

She sits up too, "Shouldn't I be the judge of that?"

"No. Because you're drunk, and you have bad judgement right now. And my judgement isn't normally great, so neither of us should be making this decision right now."

She nods, obviously kicking herself, "Right, of course." She flops back into the grass, "What was I thinking?"

"That I'm a sexy piece of ass?" Ugh, terrible time to flirt, Xavier, "We can talk tomorrow."

She starts to get up, "I guess we should both get some sleep then."

I grab her hand before I even know what I'm doing. We both look at my hand, and then at each other trying to figure it out. She does before I do, and sits back down next to me. I'll allow this much, "The cuddling was nice, I guess."

She takes the prompt and we settle back in. And we fall asleep under the stars.

The next morning when I wake up she's still there.

She realizes I'm awake and sits up to look at me without being uncomfortably close. She smiles, "Hey."

I look up, "Hey yourself. Wanna talk now or later?"

She works up what to say. Now, I guess, "You're right." Wait, what was that? "I woke up a while ago, and it's given me time to think about what you said. I've never… gotten this attached to a guy before. At first I figured that I must just be more into girls, but after thinking about it I've never felt like this about a girl before either. Or, anyone really. The closest thing to it is when there's a data set or equation I'm trying to decipher. I do like you. But, I think... I need some time to figure out how, and why, and what that means?" She nervously waits for me to respond.

I nod, "Yeah, of course."

She smiles wider, "Last night was really nice. Thank you for…" She's blaming herself again, damn it, "Thank you for being a gentleman." She moves some hair from in front of my face to behind my ear, and then stands and goes inside.

And I'm left having failed to get laid the entire night. I sigh. "Yup. Because I'm just a hero like that."

-|-|-​

What's Coulson doing here?

Hill steps out of the helicopter next. Okay?

Then Romanoff. Ah. Okay then. Barton should be next.

And there he is. May too? Coulson didn't tell me he recruited her.

Mike and Ike look at each other, obviously wondering what two high-ranking agents and three equally prestigious operatives are doing here at the same time.

Coulson points them toward the helicopter, "Mike, Ike, go for a ride."

Ike's protest is cut short by Mike lifting him with one hand, "My name isn't- Hey!"

Mike walks to the copter, "Don't worry, Coulson. Whatever it is, we'll stay out of your hair."

The helicopter takes off, leaving the Order of the Phoenix to talk unobserved.

May talks first, surprisingly, "I heard you recommended me for the Avengers Initiative."

I nod, "You heard right. Among unenhanced humans you'd be my first choice." Besides Queen. But he's still 'dead'.

She looks decidedly unamused, "I'm flattered, but not interested. I don't do field work anymore."

I decide not to push the issue, even though she's evidently willing to help the Order. Because she's willing to help the Order. We're sorely lacking in allies against Hydra right now and I don't want to risk alienating one of them.

I turn to Natasha, "Romanoff."

She doesn't break eye contact for a second, "Bronze."

Time to try and break that ice wall a little, "You know my middle name when I was created was Natasha, after you. You're one of my namesakes."

She looks a little unsettled by that.

I chuckle, "I was created on Earth Prime, about two years from now."

"And you think that makes it less weird?"

Hill looks impatiently at the group of us, "Can we get inside so we can address the matter at hand, please?"

So the Order shuffles their way inside. Barton, Romanoff, and May sit down. I start pouring everyone drinks. On second thought, maybe not May or Hill. Or maybe one for Hill just to see how she reacts.

To be honest, I'm not sure why I'm here. Or rather, why everyone else came here so I could be here. What do I actually add to the team? I gave Coulson my lists last time. I'm not high ranking or particularly wise. I guess it's nice to be kept in the loop, but it was a risk coming here.

Well, why not ask? "Why did you all come here?"

Hill starts to answer the wrong question, "You told Coulson Hydra has-"

"No, I mean, why do you need me to be here? Why come here to have your meeting when you could do it more inconspicuously without me and catch me up later?"

Barton answers the right one, "We were kinda hoping you had some more intel from Earth Prime you could share with us."

I sigh as I carry a drink tray over, "Sorry. Everything I've got I told you and Coulson on the fourth. I guess there are details. Project Insight is what they called their little attempt at 'survival of the safest' genocide. It involved three helicarriers equipped with satellite targeted auto-railguns. They had a list of anyone who could ever potentially become a threat to SHIELD. They were going to let it run for a few hours. Would've been millionsdead. Thanks to Romanoff and Hill here, they targeted each other instead and went down just off the coast of DC."

Romanoff snarks before taking a drink off the tray, "And you wonder why they call you the Clairvoyant." Vodka, Romanoff? Really?

"I don't wonder. I just don't like it. Anyway, Project Insight was only possible because Arnim Zola uploaded his brain to a room full of 8-tracks sometime after World War 2. He's hidden under the base where Steve Rogers was trained, before he got buffed by the serum."

Clint shakes his head and points at me, "See, that's why you're here."

Coulson says, "Zola's alive? How could they have that kind of technology in-"

I raise my hands, "Don't ask me. I don't know. Doesn't make any sense to me. Zola's a genius. Let's leave it at that."

Hill asks, "How did Zola help them build more helicarriers? That doesn't seem like a job someone stuck in a computer could do."

"He didn't. He designed the list of targets. Stark built the helicarriers, actually. But he isn't Hydra. Just a dupe like the rest of us."

Coulson clarifies, "So you know Stark isn't Hydra. He wasn't on your list before. Is there anyone else you know about?"

Oh. Right. I did say outside SHIELD too didn't I. "Yeah. Banner. I said Sharon Carter, didn't I? Um, General Talbot. Hank Pym." Hmm, this is actually harder than I was expecting… "The Koenigs, Colonel Rhodes." Oh right, "Coulson, who did you call for help when the Norse stuff started showing up in New Mexico? The professor." And secret Asgardian.

He's giving me the 'how do you know that?' look again, "Elliot Randolph?"

That name doesn't sound familiar at all, "Professor of Norse Mythology? Somewhere in Europe? Kind of a weaselly guy?"

"Seville, Spain."

"Probably him, sure."

Romanoff asks, "You're gonna stake all our lives on 'probably'?"

"What are the chances that some other professor of Norse Mythology in Europe who Coulson would've gone to would also turn out to be a member of an extremely secretive murder cult?"

She concedes.

Hill gets us back on track, "So how do we bring them down? Who's in charge?"

"Alexander Pierce. But you can't just take him out. Cut off one head, two more take its place, remember? All that does is create chaos by fracturing the leadership. Kill Pierce, you have two mini-Pierces. Kill those, you get nutjobs like Garrett without anyone sensible to hold them back."

May answers immediately, "So we need to cut them down at the roots. Shut their resources, demolish their network."

Barton shakes his head, "Not easy without disrupting SHIELD too."

I empty my drink, "Clint, I think whatever we do is going to disrupt SHIELD. We're trying to take down an integral part of the organization. An ugly part, but one that's been there since it was founded. Things are gonna get worse before they can get better."

We talk for about another hour. They drill me for everything I know, including most of the plots of Winter Soldier and the first season of Agents of SHIELD. I just barely manage to avoid mentioning Rogers' involvement in the whole thing. After a while my part starts to get less and less needed, and the actual strategizing is left to the professionals.

We get a general gameplan on how to proceed and an idea of what our next step is. Basically… recruit more me-approved people and keep an eye on confirmed Hydra members. And try to figure out some way to figure out who's Hydra and who's SHIELD. Even with all the smart people in this room, we still have depressingly few ideas on how to fight this.

Still. At least we're talking about it. Overall a pretty productive meeting. Once we're done Hill calls the helicopter back and everyone clears out.

As the copter gets quieter in the distance, Ike asks me, "So what was all that about?"

I give him an eyebrow, "If I could tell you, Coulson wouldn't've told you to leave."
 
Age of Heroes Bonus
Elseworlds: Lois Lane, Earth 3

I nervously adjust the microphone on my collar as the elevator continues to go up. I know for a fact this elevator can go from the ground floor to the roof in under a minute, so they must have set it this way to give people time to sweat. Unfortunately, it's working.

Okay. Pull yourself together. I got an exclusive interview, with Ultraman. The Squadron Supreme doesn't do interviews. But I got one. In part, because I'm the best. In part, probably because he knows me, from before.

Oh Jimmy. What happened to you?

The elevator finally reaches the top, only to wait a solid three seconds before opening. The former James Rhodes is waiting for me. His shoulder gun auto-locks the second I come into view.

I bow my head, "Firepower. I'm here for my interview."

He steps aside. The gun tracks me as I walk past, down a long corridor filled with elaborate paintings of Squadron members in action. Most of them show fearful, helpless civilians, reaching up to their saviors in a very messianic fashion. The biggest one depicts Ultraman's true form in its colossal glory.

This whole corridor, elevator aside, wouldn't look out of place in Hogwarts. The lighting is dim, and doesn't seem to be coming from anywhere in particular. A large set of wooden doors waits for me. I almost don't see Shado standing perfectly still to one side of the door, with her bow in her hands.

I use the large brass knocker, and the door opens on its own. I'm sure the office is spectacular, but that's not where my eyes are drawn.

I have to remember, if I call him by name, he'll kill me. It doesn't matter how close we used to be. He's with the Squadron now. His name is Ultraman.

He gestures to the chair opposite his desk. I sit, keeping my head down.

He's still short and scrawny. But there's a killer behind his eyes now, and his smile is gone. His ginger hair is well combed, in contrast to how I remember him. And of course, he's wearing his signature white suit with red lining.

He reaches across the desk and lifts my chin with one finger. I look up without resistance. He speaks, "Ms. Lane. I was told you had questions."

I take a swallow, "We all do. The Squadron Supreme hasn't given any public statements since Major America joined."

"The Outsider takes security very seriously."

"I realize that, Ultraman." Breath, "But, the people want to know what you're doing. You and The Maker have practically stopped making public appearances, even in times of crisis. Shado and Yellowjacket just aren't as approachable or relatable." And boy isn't that saying something. Stark wasn't exactly cuddly before he turned himself into a cyborg.

"The Maker is working on a new project. I'm busy running our organization. You have to understand, after the Hydra fiasco the Outsider wants S.W.O.R.D. monitored very closely."

I look out the wall of glass to my left, "Yes, but is there any reason the Helicarrier is still over New York? It's been weeks since the last crew transfer."

He dismisses the question, "Where else would it serve us better? Statistically, this tower is the most likely place for our enemies to strike against us. The Helicarrier's most valuable function is its ability to watch over potential threats, and mobilize quickly when needed."

I frown briefly, "I suppose so. But people don't like the idea of a mobile weapons platform literally hanging over their heads."

He puts his hands out diplomatically, "People have to understand, it's all for their wellbeing. We protect them. The benefit of the Squadron is their own benefit as well. Everything we do, is for them."

I lean forward, "Suicide rates are the highest they've ever been in the United States. Up to twenty in every hundred-thousand people as of last year. Is the Squadron Supreme planning to respond to this in any way?"

He hesitates for several seconds, "Yes. Next question." Interesting answer. But it doesn't invite further inquiry on the subject, or give me any useful information.

Next question. Something a little less confrontational, "What's your opinion of Senator Wilson's stated intent to run for office next year?"

He shrugs, "Senator Wilson is as good a man as any to fill the position. Strictly off the record, the Presidency no longer affects the Squadron's operations, whatever the outcome."

Right, so even if I put that bit in the article, there's no way in hell it'll get published. And I'll probably wind up dead. Why would he even say it?

I sigh internally. This world is a mess. I mean, it never wasn't one. But now it's a boring one. The price of peace on earth, some might say. But what have we signed off, handed to the Squadron on a platter just for the sake of security?

"I don't suppose there's any chance you're allowed to tell me how the Outsider found Major America and Shado. They were both officially dead, and in the middle of the ocean. And yet, satellite footage shows the Quinjet going in practically a straight line, both times."

"Like I said. The Outsider takes security very seriously."

Time to push a little more, "Is that why we still know so little? We don't know where they came from, what they can do. We don't know what gender or even species the Outsider is, which is why I have to keep using 'they'. All we know, is that this 'mysterious benefactor' funds the Squadron Supreme, and is irrefutably the single most powerful person on the planet."

"Is that a question?"

I sigh, "Ultraman, is there anything at all that you can tell me that the public doesn't already know?"

He meets my eyes, and very briefly the stone gaze gives way and I see my old photographer again. He leans back, "Alright Lois. Alright. If I give you this, you're going to have to promise to wait six months before publishing, or even telling anyone."

No hesitation, I nod, "Of course. Done."

He pauses, probably deciding if I'm being honest or not, or if it even matters. Personally I'm not sure it does, "That project The Maker is working on? It's for the Outsider. It's a computer, based on the one Zola was found in. Yellowjacket's been helping to make it smaller, and a lot more powerful. I don't know what it's for, but we were planning on making a big announcement Christmas of next year. That's all I can tell you."

I'm going to have to smash the tape in my jacket when I get home. Hell, I might have to smash the recorder, and burn the jacket. I give him a small smile, "Thank you."

I stand up and walk back to the elevator. Once the door closes I slide down into a sitting position on the floor. On the way down, I'm actually glad the elevator is taking its time. I can use the few minutes to decompress and come up with a gameplan.


Clint Barton: Second Interlude

When the helicopter lands at an airbase Nat and I split off from the rest of the Order of the Phoenix. I still can't believe we're actually calling ourselves that. I guess it makes a good cover.

I exchange a brief nod with Fury to confirm my destination, and Nat and I pick a jet at random that isn't scheduled for take off.

Once we're in the air she asks, "So that was the legendary Ms. Bronze."

I know that tone, "Not what you were expecting?"

"I don't know what I was expecting. But no. Not that."

I laugh, "I told you all about her before we went in."

"I read the reports too. Are you sure she wasn't making up the one with the Spirit World?"

"Can't be sure of anything with her. But she died for a day and when she woke up she was the Ten Rings' most wanted. Doesn't matter if it makes sense. It's the only explanation we have."

"It's just, Hydra and magic and alternate universes. We're out of our depth."

I shake my head lightly and look out over the clouds, "The whole world is out of its depth. Has been ever since the guy in blue showed up. But if we can't survive on the front lines…"

"...Who can."

Quiet descends and I fall back into my piloting mode. It's very meditative, being up here, trackers off, all alone with Nat and the sky. I can see everything from up here. I've always liked tall places. Back at the circus I could see everyone who entered or left one of the tents, if I just climbed to the top of it. The Ringmaster used to hate that. But I was always too high up to hear him yelling. Or at least I pretended I was.

Wow. Been a long time since I thought about that.

We land just a mile or so away. Before I can even see the house little Cooper crests a hill, running to meet us. I run to meet him and scoop up my son, swinging him through the air in a circle.

He laughs, that beautiful sound, "Dad!" I never realize how much I miss my family until I come back.

I put him back down and mess up his hair, "Hey Johnny. Still jumping off furniture? Or did your mom get you to stop blazing through the house?"

He giggles, "Yeah."

"Yeah you've stopped, or yeah you're still doing it?"

He laughs again, "Yeah."

I pick him up and put him on my shoulders, and we start walking in the direction of the house, "Oh good. Glad we cleared that up."


-|-|-

It's been nearly a month since I was moved here when Coulson shows up again.

He walks over to me, "Xavier Bronze, We need you back in the field."

"What about the Ten Rings?"

"That's why we need you. We tracked the forces that were sent after you last month to Mumbai. We have eyes everywhere in the city, but they've gone underground. We need to lure them out before we can find their base and shut it down."

"So you want to use me as bait."

He shrugs, "It's either that, or you stay here for another three-to-five months while we smoke them out and fake your death. And then you'd have to get plastic surgery."

Well fuck. Even with internet, this place is boring as hell. And I'm out of booze again. And I've gotten pretty attached to this face.

I smile, "Yeah, sure. No offense to Mike and Ike, but what's the plan to keep me alive when they come for me this time?"

Coulson steps to the side, giving me a clear view of the inside of the helicopter, "He is."

Well would you look at that. I wave, "Colonel Rhodes. I'm a fan. Well, more a fan of you than Tony anyway."

He steps down and reaches out to shake my hand. He's not in armor now, but he still carries himself in a more mechanical way than most military types, "Ms. Bronze. I've been hunting the Ten Rings for months now, non-stop. And now you draw them out like honey. They haven't told me what you did to piss them off more than me, but whatever it was, I appreciate your help. I'm going to keep you as safe as I can."

I shake his hand.

He turns to Coulson, "You had me crouch in there just so you could make a dramatic reveal, didn't you?"

I burst into laughter, "Phil here has a flair for the dramatic. Especially when it comes to reveals."

Rhodes points at him, "Phil? So that's his name? I couldn't get anything out of him except the fact that he's an agent, and your boss."

I pat him on the shoulder, "Relax, James. You probably don't even have the clearance to know that much. I'm gonna go get my things."

So I pack up, and so do Mike and Ike. And we're back in the air and on the way to Mumbai in less than twenty minutes.

I don't know
"Where is Mumbai?"

Ike looks at me like I just asked what color the sky is. Phil answers without judgement, "India."

"Thanks."

We get off the helicopter a bit later, and onto a jet and that takes us to Mumbai. And we're there in only a few hours, thanks to SHIELD tech. I spend some time looking at maps of the city. Some staring out the window. I want a drink, but this jet isn't fancy enough for that.

And when he said India, boy oh boy was I expecting the wrong thing. The city we arrive at is almost a match for Metropolis. Almost as tall and much, much more populous. The streets bustle with a chaotic mix of cars, people, shop carts, and even occasional livestock. How anyone navigates the constant flurry is beyond me. If this were America, dozens would die every hour on every block. But somehow the locals manage to dodge tragedy every time.

I stay very close to Mike, Ike, and Rhodes.

"Hey, Rhodey?"

He laughs, "Only Tony calls me that."

"James?"

"Don't call me James." I start to open my mouth again when he preemptively answers, "Rhodes is fine."

"Okay then. Not that I don't trust your training, but, where's your suit?"

"I won't even need it. All intel points to this being a small cell. I could bust it with two grenades and a tomahawk."

Um, "...Okay, but…"

"In my bag. I borrowed a more compact design from Tony."

Ah. The suitcase suit, then. I'm a little surprised it's already fixed up after the beating Whiplash gave it, but I guess it has been a few months now, and Tony doesn't do much else with his time.

I ask, "And he doesn't mind that you'll look like Iron Man with it on?"

"Of course he does. He painted it silver before he gave it to me."

Makes sense. Ego the size of the planet. 'I am Iron Man' and all that bogus.

My paranoia is starting to spike. I can't go more than a minute without bumping into people with this kind of crowd density, and we know for a fact that a faction of people here really want me dead. We stick out like a sore thumb. Every time someone reaches for their wallet I think it might be a knife or a gun. But there are too many to keep up. So many slip through, bumping into me or the others holding objects I haven't identified until they've passed, if ever. It's too much. Too many people. I start feeling dizzy.

Mike grabs one of my arms and forcibly turns me to face him, "Xavier. You're hyperventilating."

Oh shit, I am. Oh shit! I'm having a panic attack!

He holds up one finger, "Focus on this."

I try and look at his finger, but the people, potential assassins, keep coming. They keep looking at me! They won't stop looking. Oh god.

"Hey. Don't look at them. Look at me." He drops his finger, "Look at me."

Eye contact. That's… easier.

"Breathe with me, only when I do." He starts taking slow, deep breaths through his mouth.

My lungs convulse like they're laughing, but no other part of me feels like doing anything at all. I try to halt, only for the air to break through anyway. I can't stop.

So don't stop. Xavier, you're doing this wrong. Breathing is good. Panicking isn't. I watch his breathing, his tempo. I gradually slow to match. Deeper. Now out again. Hold. Little longer. Then in.

I start to calm down. I'm with friends. And War Machine. I also signed up for this. I need to be able to follow through.

I give Mike a smile, "Thanks, Mike."

Rhodes looks sympathetic, "It's okay, Ms. Bronze. It's happened to all of us at some time or another. Comes with the territory."

Ike isn't even looking at me, "Never happened to me."

I glare at the back of his head, and I know he can tell, "Gee, thanks Ike."

He deadpans back, "Can we get moving again? It's getting dark."

So it is. We find a hotel and book a single two-bed room for the four of us. We're all adults, and professionals, and half of us are military. So it shouldn't be too weird.

I had a panic attack earlier today, because I'm acting as bait for one of the most infamous terrorist organizations on the planet. And this was day one. Why did I agree to do this again?


-|-|-

It's been four days since we came to Mumbai. Four nerve-wrecking paranoia fueled days of constant stress and fear. And Rhodes says we might have to be here for up to two weeks. People say the grass is always greener, but how stupid did I have to be to think that boredom and a face change was actually worse than this shit? I can get used to a new face.

Every day, we go out to one of the several markets nearby with my current face that the Ten Rings knows and hates unobstructed for one hour. And then again, at the same market later in the day. Rhodes mostly keeps a low profile, staying a few meters away from us or more. We don't want them to know that we have a Stark suit and up their game accordingly.

I understand the need to stay under the radar. We need to make sure the Ten Rings are seen as the aggressors, even if we're in their territory. SHIELD can't be directly seen taking action either, since that could stress future diplomacy with the Indian government. But the unfortunate consequence is that it's up to Rhodey to fight the Ten Rings and a very minimal number of agents to get me out alive once the conflict starts. Still. Against the standard military fare the Ten Rings has, it should be more than enough.

When I hear a gunshot I'm actually relieved.

The first gunman drops to Mike's quickfire. And then an
impact against my body armor makes me stumble forward. That stings.

I duck for cover. Next time they might aim for the head. But at least I know where the threat is coming from now. Three men holding semi-automatic pistols. Two, thanks to Mike.

My escorts all grab various covers too. Once Rhodes is behind a wall he pulls a silver suitcase out of his backpack. He drops it on the floor and it begins to unfold.

I almost, but only almost, stop paying attention to the gunmen. The marvel of engineering is truly worthy of awe, as hundreds if not thousands of tiny pistons and motors extend in perfect coordination. They expand just enough to feel out the object that they're recognizing as a person, but not strongly enough to hurt him.

Two seconds later War Machine blasts both remaining gunmen off their feet with his repulsor gloves.

He turns to me, "Get to safety."

I don't have to be told twice. Ike grabs my hand and starts pulling me with him and Mike. I don't object to the contact, because in the chaos of a city I don't know with an unknown number of unknown assailants, the last thing I want is to get lost.

But the battle follows us. We turn a corner and find our path blocked off by a wall of fire. A soldier wearing low-grade powered armor, no doubt based on the Mark 1 Iron Man armor, raises their arm mounted flamethrower at us.

Well fuck. They're not supposed to have that.

Rhodey swoops down and lifts the soldier into the air, a dozen meters or more before simply dropping them and letting the metal eggshell do the rest.

We find a different path and keep going. Ike jerks me into a building before I can even register the sight of another armored soldier rounding a corner onto our street.

We run up a flight of stairs and freeze. All of us trying to calm our breath and be completely silent.

I exchange glances with Ike, who's clearly more worried than he wants to put on, and Mike, who isn't showing the slightest sign of fear. I question with my eyebrows if it's safe to move on yet. Mike shakes his head.

An armored gauntlet breaks through the floor below me and grabs my leg, pulling me down through wooden paneling as if it were saran wrap. The hulking figure throws me across the room and I feel my head hit the far wall.

I try to stand, but fall over halfway through the effort. The room is spinning. How can someone so heavy stand so straight at an angle like that? No. That's wrong. The floor isn't actually angled. I have a concussion.

The armored soldier takes a few slow steps toward me as Mike and Ike's bullets deflect uselessly off its back.

It raises a flame thrower arm, and lets loose.

I don't want to die.

I throw up my hands in a desperate effort to protect my head. But in my concussed state what was meant as a shield ends up more like a wedge in front of me. And to my surprise the oncoming inferno splits down the middle right before contacting my flesh. It ripples outward along the angle of my arms.

I feel something. An energy, flowing through my arms. It cascades up from my stomach, through my veins to my limbs and then outward into the air. I can't see the boundary that's stopping the fire from hitting me, but I can feel how I'm projecting it. It's the same thing I do when I create a fireball instead of just a blast. Or maybe it's just the concussion.

This makes no sense at all. So not complaining.

The flamethrower stops. The last wave passes by me harmlessly. The soldier sees my uncharred body and looks to see if there's anything defective with their weapon.

I laugh for a moment. And then I blast them with as narrow a beam as I can manage. I want this person dead, cooked in their own suit.

And as far as I can tell, that's exactly what happens. They collapse to their knees and then fall on their face a few seconds later, and don't get back up.

The whole building is on fire now. I'm immune to my own fire, but only my own. I can feel certain corners of the room that were hit by the deflected flamethrower projecting… not more heat. But different heat. More malicious heat. The heat from my own fire is more inviting. Homey. Almost invigorating.

Of course deciding what part of the burning building I'm better off in would be a lot easier if I could stand up.

I lie there for a while. I've gotten lucky, so most of the fire near me is mine. I think it's even blocking off the bad fire from getting to me a little. My clothes aren't completely immune, so they burn away in the first fifteen minutes or so.

Eventually, the aggressive heat of the flamethrower flames starts to break through my safety bubble. The caustic ash in the air starts to get through too. I didn't know I could breath the smoke from my fire before today, but I guess I must be able to or I'd have suffocated already.

I'm getting hungry too. I think my power is starting to fail me. I've been subconsciously projecting a heat shield. But my body is almost out of energy. I can't keep this up much longer. How long has it even been? I don't hear the battle going on outside anymore. My head isn't throbbing nearly as much either.

I hope Mike and Ike made it out okay. They must think I'm dead. That kind of sucks.

I open my eyes. Oh shit! I realize I've started nodding off. If I fall unconscious then I really will die here. I need to get out. Now.

I try to stand, and still struggle. But my legs do work with attention. All the fire looks the same. I hold my hands out like a blind man's cane to feel where my fire ends and the killing fire begins. It's like a hedge maze. Except I don't know for sure that there's even an exit.

I reach what I think is an outer wall. Trouble is, it's covered in the bad flame.

Do I have the power left to break through? Not a chance in hell. I can't even project that heat shield thingy I was doing earlier anymore. I'm covered in burns from accidentally encountering the wrong kind of fire.

But… I kinda have to.

I close my eyes and try to feel the energy that I felt before. It's faint, but it's there. It flows throughout my body, along and back on every limb, swirling at points in my head, throat, chest, and stomach.

I need everything. All of it. I will it all out. Up and out through my extended arms, as fire.

The harmful fire is pushed aside, and I instantly thrust my bodyweight at the weakened wood, which gives.

I fall to the ground and breath the outside air.

And then my body gives up on me. The last bit of energy is used up, and I fall to darkness.

I briefly think I see the library of Shazam's tower. But the image quickly fades like a non-memorable dream, leaving the black of the inside of my very physical eyelids.

I open my eyes and gladly see the ceiling of the H.O.M.E. medbay. Yay. I'm back H.O.M.E..

Doctor Weir steps into my line of sight, "You said you wouldn't do miracles on my watch anymore."

I start to sit up and then instantly stop when my skin yells at me. I cough a little, "Well I kinda like being alive. Sorry."

I look over and see Ike asleep in a chair.

Weir comments, "He hasn't left your side since they pulled you out of the rubble."

I smile, "I won't tell him you told me that. It's a favor. Trust me."

She laughs, "My husband does the same thing. Pretends not to worry, then prays for me behind my back. He knows I'm agnostic." She gets on comms, "The Clairvoyant is awake and stable."

I cough again, "So how bad is it, doc?"

"Second degree burns on your arms and calves. First over most of your chest and back. Third on several fingertips, bottoms of both feet, and one shoulder. We were able to remove most of the dead tissue, got you a few small skin grafts, and have you on constant fluids. We had you on oxygen to treat the smoke inhalation for the first 24 hours, but you got off pretty lucky."

I look down at my arms, covered completely in bandages, "Seems like it."

Ike wakes up and sees me. I do my best to wave without moving. He sits up, "Hey. I was just about to call Mike for his shift."

Uh huh. Right. "Good news. Doc says I'm going to be okay." I break into a more painful cough.

He shakes his head, "I'll have to leave you in a bigger fire next time."

Clint walks in eating a banana, "Xavier. You're awake."

I smile, and even that hurts, "Hey Hawkeye. I didn't know you cared."

He takes the last bite and talks while chewing, "Well Coulson's put a lot of time into recruiting you. Don't want that to go to waste." He swallows, "Good to have you back with the living."

Where would I even go when I die? I guess if angels are a thing Heaven probably is too, but I don't know if it's the more inclusive version Reed Richards could get in or the more stuffy devout-only version. Since Constantine's real I'm guessing it's not the paradise the Bible cracks it up to be.

Mike rounds the door in a sprint and looks at me, and stares.

"Mike, it's not like I haven't been dead before. Calm down."

He blinks and relaxes slightly, "Right. Sorry. It's just… When that juggernaut shot you I thought we'd lost you."

"How did you two get out of there, anyway?"

Ike answers, "Once I convinced Mike we couldn't do anything for you we climbed another floor up and jumped."

Mike glares at him, "When I jumped you almost-"

I clear my throat on Ike's behalf, which unfortunately turns into another painful coughing fit. "How did the battle go?"

Mike shakes his head, "The suits were unexpected, but nothing Rhodes couldn't handle. He beat them back, and we followed them back to their base. We've been interrogating the survivors, and everyone thinks you're dead."

"At least until one of their people spots me again."

"Right. But, as far as we can tell they got lucky in Metropolis. They don't have that expansive a network, and most of them wouldn't recognize you on sight anyway."

"So I'm in the clear… Until I'm not. That's reassuring."

He raises his hands, "Hey, in this line of work be grateful for whatever safety you can get. Maybe we can go the rest of the year without you spending the night in here." He looks up at the florescent lights of the medbay.

"If we were that lucky, they wouldn't have had Iron Man suits."

Ike winces slightly, "We knew they had the designs. They've just never built any before. From what we've found, Mumbai is where they were constructing them."

I shrug, and immediately regret it when a stab of pain goes through the extra crispy skin on my right shoulder, "Well now we know. We'll be prepared for it next time." I cough a few times, "Tell Coulson to never let me get bored again. It's hazardous to my common sense."

Clint confirms, "I'll do that. Nonstop ops and training until Christmas. Leaving time for book club of course."

Mike shakes his head, "What is it with you guys and book club?" He turns to me, "How did you get yourself invited to that so fast anyway? I'd never even heard about it before you were already in."

"Earth Prime knowledge. They like hearing about how different the books were in my home universe." I may not especially like lying. But I'm getting really good at it of late. Sink or swim, I guess. Especially when it comes to book club.

He nods, "Right. Like when we watched Star Wars."

"Exactly."

He nods.

I yawn, which turns into a cough. "Guys, I think I might need some more rest. Let me know if I die in my sleep."

I lean back and close my eyes. I hear some people saying goodbye and then footsteps, but I'm fading fast and can't make out who it was.

Oh well. Whoever's still here, I'm in good hands.


-|-|-

Finally, I get to take these bandages off. I mean, it's only to wash the grafts and burns on my hands, and it's probably gonna hurt like a bitch. And the bandages go right back on afterward. But hey, at least it won't itch anymore, at least for a little bit.

One of the docs I don't know places a large bowl of water next to my bed. He prepares some kind of ointment. I guess they're gonna put that on before the new bandages.

The gauze peels off like it's actually my skin, and I guess in a way it kind of is right now. It's not hurting as much as I expected, but it feels really weird.

It's extremely unsettling seeing the gaps in the wirework pattern they've stitched over the bare muscles of my palm. When they said skin grafts, this isn't what I was expecting.

I experimentally bend my fingers and wrists, watching the damaged and perforated skin to make sure it doesn't tear or anything.

The water is cold. Very cold. I almost pull back out, but I hold in place, and then sink the rest of the way in, up to almost where my arm bandages start. It's not comfortable… But I think between the burns and the cold my hands are pretty numb, so I can tolerate it.

I breathe deeply. It tingles. I close my eyes and feel the slight waves in the bowl. The constant motion on the sides of my wrists. Up, and down. I feel the fluid pressing against the skin of my hands. I feel a small wave hit my pinky and track it across my fingertips, and then again the other direction when it bounces off the walls of the bowl. Back, and forth. Push, and pull. Give, and take.

What's that ringing sound? Almost sounds like a glass harmonica.

The doctor gasps. I open my eyes and see that the water near my hands is glowing.

I ask, "Is it supposed to do that? What did you put in the water?"

He shakes his head, "A little antibacterial agent. It can't be that."

There's something very familiar about this. Something Alex knew.

Push, and pull. Tui, and La.

I lift my hands out of the water, and they're completely healed. Not the slightest sign that they were ever burned.

I generate a small flame in the palm of my hand. I reach down and lightly touch the other hand's tips to the surface of the bowl.

Feel the motion. Now use it.

I slowly pull upward, and a mound rises out of the liquid to follow. I push my hand away, and the water moves unnaturally toward one side of the bowl. And then I drop it, and the waves return to their natural pattern.

I look back at my other hand, with a fire maintained throughout.

"I'm the Avatar."

The doctor gets on comms, "Mike and Ike to the medbay. The Clairvoyant has healed her own hands… And may be hydrokinetic."

Two days later, I've healed my whole body, piece by piece. I've been experimenting. It's not the same energy I use to make fire that I use for healing. But it travels along the same paths. When I Bend the two at the same time I can sometimes feel the conflicting energies colliding inside my body, like antimatter explosions too tiny to even cause pain. If I redirect, tell it to take different paths through my body, both become almost as strong as if I were using them independently.

I'm the Avatar. I haven't tried Bending earth or air yet. But it's the only thing that makes sense. Fire, water, healing, and that trip to the Spirit World. I pulled up the report. It happened on the Summer Solstice. I looked it up, and Avatar never existed on this Earth. It all adds up.

That energy I'm using must be Chi. I've been flailing my way through fire training ever since that day at the New Mexico crater when they first took me to a shooting range. Now that I actually know what I'm doing, like really actually what my body is doing, how powerful can I become? Avatar Kyoshi created an island. Avatar Roku fought a volcano.

I'll have to start seriously studying martial arts. Not just the small stuff Mike's been drilling me on. The real art of the martial arts. I think I'll be able to recognize the movesets for the four elements if I just watch footage of masters at work.

This was lucky. This was really lucky. I stumbled into two different elements by accident in about as much time as it took Aang to master three. He had trainers. He had a mission. All I've had is desperation.

But I know now. I know what I am. I know what I can do! I'm powerful. I'm a badass!

"Ow!"

The droplet of water I've been suspending falls back into its bowl. I rub my back and look behind me. Ike hands Barton back his arrow.

"You know, I could Bend the blood in your veins."

Ike laughs, "You can barely float a thimble."

"I can't exactly float anything. It's not like fire, where I just give it the energy and it does what I want. It flows on its own, always. I have to
... nudge it in the right direction, every second. Like a dam against the tide. I guess both operate on the same basic principle. Just make sure the easiest place for it to go is where I want it to be."

Mike walks in with a candlelighter, "You said you wanted this? I thought you could only control your own fire."

I nod, "I thought so too. But maybe not."

I take the lighter, and light it. The far end produces a tiny bead of yellow. I turn out toward the firing range.

I reach out and feel the heat. It's not mine. I can feel that it's not mine. It's harsh. Hostile. It would kill me, given the chance.

But it still burns. And it still burns with energy. Not the same as my energy. Not Chi. But it burns. And that makes it my domain.

I feel the heat. And in my mind I follow it back, to its source. I can almost taste the petroleum fuel that keeps it alive. It doesn't like that energy. So I give it mine.

It grows, bigger, bigger. It's several centimeters tall now, and has graduated from yellow to orange at the center. I'm feeding it through my outstretched hand. I move my hand to the left, and it follows. I move to the right, and it follows.

I pull, giving it more energy all at once, making a path for it to follow from where it is back to my hand. It follows the path and I feel the harsh heat come closer, until it's painfully floating just centimeters above my fingertips.

Okay. "I can control other fire, but it doesn't feel like I'm immune to it, even after I'm the only thing fueling it."

It still carries the signature of its source. The first fuel that ignited it. Physically, there's no reason this should be any different from any other fire. But if I'm the Avatar, then this is spiritual. Literally, the spirit of the fire is the only thing that decides whether it burns me or not.

Mike asks, "So, there's some cartoon back on Earth Prime that has someone who can control fire, water, and heal. Is that right?"

I stop feeding the flame and it goes out. I nod, "I'm the Avatar. The master of all four elements. The bridge between the human and spiritual realms. The protector of the earth."

Ike murmurs, "Don't let it get to your head…"

I laugh, "I'm a terrible Avatar. I'm worse than Aang was when he was twelve years old. I'm starting late. I was supposed to have been trained since birth."

Barton asks, "Hang on. You said the Avatar is fictional on your Earth. So how the hell were you born into it?"

I shake my head, "I wasn't even born. Must be recent, since I got here. Maybe the last Avatar died at the exact moment I came through, and the universe got confused or something. It's a reincarnation thing. But I'm pretty sure that doesn't exist on my Earth either." Alex believed in reincarnation. Maybe I'll have to reconsider that he may have been right.

"You said everything before's been from movies and tv shows on Earth Prime, all based on comicbooks. Now cartoons are real too?"

"Barton, I don't know. I don't know the rules anymore. Avatar wasn't even based on a comicbook. It was original. It was adapted into comicbooks, but no-one even liked those."

Wait a minute. What Shazam said, about my soul. That wasn't him seeing Alex, or where Alex used to be. That was the Avatar spirit. Does that mean I have Aang and Korra in my head? That might help me learn the proper forms easier if I can contact them somehow. But, has this world had previous Avatars, or is the Spirit from another universe too?

"I think whatever pulled me here fused me with a preexisting spirit. I don't know what that means for the reincarnation cycle, but I wasn't selected naturally. I was chosen. Someone, something powerful removed me from Alex, from Earth Prime, hijacked the Bifrost, abducted Thor, obtained and contained the Avatar Spirit, and then stitched it onto me well enough that it took a god and a wizard powered by gods to see it."

Barton frowns, "What could do all that?"

This is scary. This is big. This is bad. And I'm right at the center of it. Something strong enough to simply remove Thor has personally invested in me, specifically. Something with access to Earth Prime.

Thanos? Too small. He couldn't pull it off. Which is downright terrifying to consider. A fifth dimensional imp, maybe? If they exist, maybe. What was space Jesus called. The Living Tribunal? But what's the motive? Why? Who would do this? What do they want?

"I have no idea."

-|-|-

It's Alex's birthday.

I sigh and drag the covers back up over my head. It's Alex's birthday.

I haven't left my room all day. I dunked my comms unit in the bowl of water I've been using for Bending practice. Then I melted the wall panel so no-one could get in. The cameras are still on, so they know I'm not doing anything. I just can't do anything today.

It's Alex's birthday.

I hear something. I peek out and see that they're trying to cut the door open with a blowtorch.

I've only tried this a few times, but maybe… I reach out with my mind and feel the flame of the blowtorch. I give the energy a nudge, and it flares backward into the fuel chamber. Now they'll have to get a new torch.

I huddle back down and wipe the tears away from my eyes.

It's Alex's birthday.

Ugh. I'm starting to become sober again. I stick an arm out from the blanket and feel around until I find the bottle of tequila I stole from the kitchen last night. I bring it to my mouth and start swallowing. The glass knocks against my teeth painfully.

It's Alex's birthday. It's Alex's birthday.

I set the bottle on the floor next to my bed. Maybe some sleep would make me feel better.

Probably not.

It's Alex's birthday.

That's a really weird sound. I poke my head out and open one eye. There's a big blue blur in the middle of the big black blur. Is something glowing? It's definitely a lot brighter in here.

I rub my eyes and give them a second to adjust.

Jack is standing by the lightswitch.

I glare at him, "How did you even get in here?"

He sighs, "We're worried about you. I'm here to find out what's wrong."

I grab the tequila and sit up, "It's Alex's birthday."

It takes him a second to recall the name, "Your… creator, back on Earth Prime."

I take another big drink, "Creator, brother, headmate… There's no normal relationship that's close enough to compare it to."

He walks over and sits on the bed next to me. I offer the bottle of tequila, and he takes it. But I suspect he's just trying to keep me from finishing it off.

He asks the question everyone always asks, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I'm about to reject the offer outright, but, actually, that sounds kind of nice, "Yeah. Okay."

And then we both stay silent for a few minutes.

After a while I realize I'm not saying anything, "Sorry. Thought is my first language. Sometimes it's hard to put things in words." I sigh, "Alex was… a pain. He was naive, and lazy, and optimistic, and he smelled bad." I grab the bottle out of his hands and take a swig, "I actually miss that smell, can you believe that?"

"Yeah, I can."

I look at him, a silent request for answers.

He puts a hand behind his head and leans back against the wall, "Before I joined SHIELD, I had a team. We worked out of this underground base, inside a mountain. It always had this really rancid sulfur stink. But, after a few years, I didn't care. I didn't even notice it anymore. That base was home."

I down the rest of the bottle.

"But, that base isn't my home anymore. Classified story short, it got blown up, I got recruited, and now I have a different secret underground base to call H.O.M.E.."

I chuckle, "Alright, I got it. So you're saying there's no use in brooding on the past because it's gone now."

He smiles, "Right."

"So I should just forget all about the only person I've ever really loved, the only person who would have given their life for me. Not just because I'm an asset. Just because they care about me. I should forget that, forget him, because I'll never see him again."

He backs off a little in shock, "No! I-"

"GET OUT!" I throw the bottle across the room and it shatters, "I don't know how you got in and I don't care. Get the fuck out. Now. Leave me alone." I take a deep breath, olive branch, "I'll come out tomorrow."

I lie back down and curl into the sheets, making a cocoon. I hear that same weird noise again muffled through the blanket. I'm going to assume he's gone.

It's Alex's birthday. It's Alex's birthday.


-|-|-

As the jet lifts off, I ask over the blare of the engines, "So Barton, where are you taking me that's so secret you had to dismiss my bodyguards."

I see him switch off the tracker and take out his comms, "There's someone I want you to meet. Several someones, actually. But one in particular I think you'll want to meet too."

I'm surprised he's taking me this soon. His family is super secret. So secret Hydra doesn't know about them. So secret, as far as I know, only he, Natasha, and Fury know they exist. And I guess Coulson, thanks to me. Oops. Didn't really think that through at the time...

We touch down not long later, and Barton switches off the engines.

I ask, "Why did you bring me here?"

He looks me straight in the eye, "To meet my son."

I can't remember his kids names. Shit. His wife is Laura. Took me a while to dig even that out of my head. She won't be pregnant with Nathaniel for a few years. If ever, now that I'm here. I can't remember the other two.

He walks out of the jet and I follow, feeling stupid for not having Alex's encyclopedic recall.

"I'm honored that you trust me enough to bring me here."

He laughs, "You already knew all about it. Either I had to trust you, or I had to kill you, and I didn't wanna make Coulson mad. He has plans for you."

"Great. Maybe I'll learn what they are some day."

A few minutes later I see the house. It's a lot bigger than I remember it being in the movie. At least three stories, an attic, a basement. I think I see a storm cellar.

And there's a young child on the roof.

Clint casually strolls closer, "What are you doing up there?"

The boy dangles his legs off the edge, "I was watching you land! I could see the whole thing once I got up the chimney."

Clint smiles, "You climbed up the chimney?"

He coughs, "Yeah, but I got all covered in black stuff on the way up. I think I might need a new shirt."

Clint nods, "And a bath. Your mother's not gonna be happy about this." He beckons, "Come on. Get down, Johnny."

Johnny? I don't remember their names, but I don't think that was one of them.

Johnny hangs by his fingertips on the edge of the roof and then swings off, and catches himself on a vertical storm pipe with his foot on a windowsill. That kid has some serious arm strength. I don't think I could do that. Then he just drops the remaining three meters and lands expertly into a roll that I remember Mike showing me.

That kid has a future. As what, I don't know. But as something. That's really something he just did there.

He runs up to us and hugs his father tightly.

Barton flinches at the cloud of ash that billows out at the impact. He stands stiffly as if he's trying to stay clean, and then gives up and returns the hug.

Johnny looks over at me, "Who're you?"

Clint laughs, "This is a coworker of mine. Xavier Bronze." He looks me in the eyes, "And this is my son. Cooper John Barton. But because of stunts like that," He points at the roof, "We call him Johnny Blaze."

Oh.

Wait, what? "Johnny Blaze?"

He nods, "That's right." He picks up his son under one arm, "Our little devil."

Oh you have no idea.

I nod, "Okay, Clint, we need to talk. Like now."

He starts walking toward the house, "Yeah, I figured as much. Come on in. Laura'll make us something."

Once we're seated in the dining room with bowls of truly delicious smelling leftover lasagna, Barton tells his son, "Johnny, why don't you go wash up. You've still got ash all over your face." The kid runs off and Clint calls into the kitchen, "Laura, can you come in here. I think Xavier wants to tell us something."

I wait patiently for both parents to be present.

Laura comes in and sits down next to her husband, "What is it she wants to talk to me about?" To me, "Is it something about an old mission?"

Clint turns to me and his face is almost as serious as when he was pointing an arrow at me, "Spill."

I look between the two of them. Laura's nervous. Clint is steeled for whatever I might say.

"Johnny Blaze. When I first arrived on this Earth that's one of the first names I looked up."

Laura asks, "Now, remind me, you're from another universe, where this one is a movie series where we're all fictional characters."

I nod, "Yes. And those movies are based on comicbooks, and Johnny Blaze is a character in the comics. He's not your son in the comicbooks. In fact, he's probably about the same age as you. And Johnny Blaze is his real name."

Laura asks, "So he's an adult? Who is he?"

I try to gather what I can remember into a cohesive format, "Johnny Blaze is a world famous stuntman. A motorcyclist. He has a touring act, works at circuses, the whole gig. Then, either he," I look at Clint, "Or his father, gets hurt. Badly hurt. A demon, or devil, or spirit, or angel, something offers him a deal. And he takes it. He becomes a host. And not the mutually beneficial kind."

Clint says, "You don't know that happens. That's what happened in the comicbooks, but you haven't seen that far ahead in this world."

"No… I haven't. But there are enough similarities between the worlds that we can assume something similar would have happened."

Laura asks, "Would have? If you weren't here, you mean."

"Exactly. But I am. And I can warn you. If he takes that deal, he becomes something else. He transforms. His skull catches on fire and his flesh burns away. He becomes a spirit of vengeance, with only one goal: To punish the wicked. He literally burns the sin inside people's souls."

Clint asks, "He burns the sin? Or the souls?"

"I don't know. But it kills them. The Ghost Rider, that's what he's called, is a mass murderer. The only reason he's considered a hero is because most of the people he kills are criminals, and the comics are kind of fucked up." I take a breath, "We have a long time before we have to worry about preventing anything. In every version of the story I can remember, he's an adult when it happens."

There's a stretch of silence. The clock ticks on the wall.

Cooper John Barton runs full-speed down the stairs and into the kitchen. In under five seconds he has a plate and is serving himself, sitting next to me.

I pick up my fork and start eating my lasagna, "So how did you two meet each other?"
 
Age of Heroes Arc
My comms unit tells me, "Clairvoyant to briefing room three. Clairvoyant to briefing room three. Copy."

I respond, "Copy. On my way."

When I get there, I see Fury, Coulson, Barton, and Romanoff. There's a camera, so it's not an Order thing.

Fury answers my curiosity, "Yesterday, in light of the information you've provided, the World Security Council approved the Avengers Initiative for proactive development."

I grin, "And you want me on the team. My Bending might not be all that powerful yet, but I promise to keep training."

Coulson smiles, "Oh, I'm sure you will. But we don't want you on the team." Dramatic pause, give him time to finish… "We want you to help us build it. ...And, also be on it."

Romanoff continues, "We have your list of recommendations, but no-one knows them as well as you do. We want you to talk to Constantine, Murdock, and Jones personally."

Barton sums it up, "Your recruits. Your pitch. If it goes wrong, your problem."

I nod, "Makes sense. Can I make a request?"

Fury responds, "Depends on the request."

"I want in on Banner's recruitment too."

The others look between each other.

"I have
... a personal interest in Banner's condition. You all know, I didn't always have a body to myself."

Barton nods, "And neither does Banner."

Coulson agrees, "You can go with Romanoff."

She jerks up to look at him, "What? I'm recruiting Banner?"

"I've already got Rhodes and May."

I stop myself from raising my hand, "If I can, one more suggestion?" I have everyone's attention, and no objections, "Thor's hammer, Mjolnir, is still at the crash site. Right?"

Coulson nods.

"The enchantment reads, 'whoeverso holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.' Notice anything about those parameters?"

Romanoff comments, "They're sexist?"

"More importantly, it means someone other than Thor can claim it. I want everyone we trust" Meaningful pause, meaningful looks, "to try and lift that hammer. The power of an Asgardian would be a major asset to the team."

Fury says, "Write up a list of candidates."

My grin returns in full force, "I'm an Avenger. Thank you, Director. This is... Thank you. This is the best thing that's happened to me since I got here."

He smiles, "It won't be easy. Higher clearance, more responsibilities, more danger."

Coulson expands upon that point, "You'll be under some scrutiny. It took a lot to convince the Council that you were trustworthy enough to involve to this extent."

I say, "One more thing, I'm not leading the team. I'd make a terrible leader."

Fury actually bursts into laughter, "Didn't you just hear him? We barely talked the Council into even putting you on the team. On what Earth could you be chosen to lead it?"

I shift awkwardly on my feet, "I mean, if there's an infinite number, probably one of them. But who will lead?"

Fury answers, "Romanoff and Barton will act as joint field commanders. They have the most experience of anyone."

Hmm. Not ideal, but maybe until Rogers gets pulled up out of the sea it's the best we've got.

"We want to begin candidate evaluations right away. We'll bring 'em in, get their signatures. Make sure we can call them when we really need to."

"I won't let you down, sir. I'll get started on the prep work right away."

-|-|-

This is… quaint.

Natasha and I are watching the place where Bruce has been staying. I managed to talk them out of the sniper squad. As far as I can figure shows of force against the Hulk can only ever make things worse. So it's just the two of us.

Natasha asks, "So what's our play? Hire a local to lure him out somewhere he can't hurt anyone?"

I shake my head, "I vote we knock on the door."

She looks at me.

I shrug, "If we want him to trust us, act trustworthy. A hit squad wouldn't knock. With a house that small they'd just level it with bullets. He's smart. People who knock want to talk about something. So we let him know what we're here for."

She smirks and shakes her head, "That's either stupid enough to work or simple enough to fail. Let's give it a shot."

So we knock. A few seconds later an old woman answers the door and says something in french. Nat says something back. The woman ducks back inside and calls out 'something something Bruce'.

I ask, "What did you say?"

She answers, "I told her we're here to talk to Bruce Banner. You wanted the trustworthy approach."

I nod, and casually stroll to the side of the house. I peek around and see him running into the woods.

I look back, "He's running. It was worth a shot."

Next time we track him down, we do it her way. We hire a young girl to ask for his help, and lure him out to the edge of the city. It works like a charm, and within the hour Bruce is in the room with us, and the girl is climbing out the window with her payment.

I step out of the shadows, and Natasha follows my lead, "Helping the helpless, even with your condition. Anyone ever tell you you're just a big softy?"

He sizes us up, "Not since… Not in a long time. Who are you?"

Natasha answers, "We're here on behalf of SHIELD."

He nods, "SHIELD. So you're spies. You brought me out here, outside the city. If you're planning to kill me the other guy might have something to say about that."

I shake my head and sit down at a table in the middle of the room, "We're not here to hurt you, Doctor Banner. We're here to give you a chance."

He's slowly backing toward the window, "A chance at what?"

I look him in the eye and wait for him to stop moving and listen, "Giving a shit."

"How did you find me?"

Natasha says her line, "We never lost you. We kept our distance. We even helped keep some other interested parties off your scent."

He takes a step forward, "So now you're here to cash in the favor."

I take over again, "We're here because we trust you. And even if no-one else does, I trust the other guy. I know what it's like to be trapped in someone else's body and thought of like a monster. People fear what they don't understand. But I understand you. And I understand the other guy. Maybe better than anyone else ever could."

He steps forward again and rests a hand on the table in front of me, "Sympathy for the Devil?"

I shake my head, "You're not the Devil. You're hurt. But we're not here because you need us. I know you don't. We're here because we need you."

"What if I say no?"

"Then I ask nicely. I already said we're not going to hurt you."

"And what if… the other guy says no?"

I shake my head, "He benefits from this even more than you do. You two have been fighting each other for so long. I'm offering myself as an example, of what you and he could become. A productive, healthy relationship between two people sharing a body."

He laughs, "You have no idea."

"Yes, I do. I've seen it. I've seen enough to say that I know this can work. It does work. I'm just here to help you get there faster. A mind as brilliant as yours is wasted cooped up in places like this. I want you two to stop your little bitching contest so that you can both turn your energies somewhere that they can do some good."

He sits down, "That's a nice sentiment. What would the other guy be doing while I'm in the lab?"

"Ever heard of Superman?"

"Military work."

I shake my head, "No, not military work. We're putting a team together. A response team for global threats. You don't work for us. We just tell you where you can be to help, and hope to God that you show up. But that does require that we be able to contact you without you jumping out the window."

"That was you."

I nod, "That was us."

Natasha continues, "We're prepared to offer you a full pardon for all past actions, as both Bruce Banner and the Hulk. All we ask in return is that you meet the rest of the team."

He laughs, "A mixer? You want me to run back, come to a specific place at a specific time, and just… trust, that it's not a trap?"

I shrug and nod, "Yes."

Natasha pulls a card out and hands it to him, "And if you don't, you know who to call if you change your mind."

He looks at the card. It has my name, codename, and phone number on it, with the SHIELD logo as a background. And in bold at the top, "AVENGERS". Same font as the movie logo, without the arrow stylization.

Oh shit. He's gonna think she's me.

I hold out my hand for a handshake, "I'm Xavier Bronze. This is Natasha Romanoff. We're both on the team too."

He eyes my hand for several seconds.

I shake my head, "Come on man, don't leave me hanging."

An hour later, we're about to touch down somewhere in New York State.

"He totally left me hanging. Unbelievable." I shake my head.

Natasha chuckles at me, "You really thought he'd shake your hand?"

I sigh, "No. Not really."

We make our way to the city. First stop, one of dozens of office towers to talk to one of thousands of cubicle inhabitants. Only, this one has super strength.

I ask the desk, "Hi, we'd like to speak to an employee of yours. Jessica Jones." Natasha flashes her SHIELD ID.

"Of course. Just one second." She looks down at her computer for several seconds, "Twelfth floor. We'll let her know to expect you."

This place is worse than Hell. This place is boring. It's as if anything that's ever had any character has slowly been replaced, until nothing noteworthy exists in the entire building. Everything's exactly where and how you expect it to be, before you even see it. It's mind-numbing as we turn onto corridors that I would be almost certain we've already seen, if I weren't even more certain that this place is just that dull.

Eventually we find Jessica's cubicle, which almost seems to be glowing by how much more personality it has than anything else we've seen since we came in. Nothing big. Just a few pictures of Trish and drawings. I didn't know she could draw that well.

She looks up at us, "Deckerman told me someone was coming up. What do you want?"

I hand her one of my cards, "I'm Xavier Bronze. We're here to talk to you about a job opportunity."

Suddenly we have her attention, "Avengers? Sounds like a sixties spy thriller."

"It's a team, of
... empowered individuals." She stiffens, "I know about your strength. We want you to use it." I gesture around us, "What are you really even doing here? Something that any number of other people could do just as well. You don't even like it."

She's definitely intrigued, but suspicious, "You still haven't said exactly what it is I'd be doing."

I smile, "Forgive me. I skipped ahead. Let me tell you about your teammates. Colonel James Rhodes, otherwise known as the hero War Machine." I generate a flicker of fire in my hand where only she can see it, "Myself, codename Clairvoyant. But I'm working on getting that changed to Avatar. Oh, and Superman. You may have heard of him."

She leans back and squints a little, "You want me to be a superhero."

"I want to give your life meaning. Or at least something to do. I can tell you're bored out of your mind. Anyone would be. Granted, there are safer ways to entertain yourself. But, speaking from experience, few more gratifying. Helping people feels good. And I don't see very much in the way of good feelings for you here."

She looks at the card again, tapping it in thought with one finger. She looks back up, "Can I think about it?"

I nod, "Of course. There's no expiration date. But in three weeks we're having a meet-and-greet for potential members. If you take too long, you might miss it."

I almost turn away, and then I remember something important.

"One more thing, Jessica. If you ever see or hear a handsome british man wearing purple… Run like hell."

She glances at the card, "Clairvoyant?"

I shrug, "I try. My sources aren't perfect. But they're usually right." I give her a sympathetically worried look, "Please, don't risk it. It's not worth it."

She asks, "That's it? A vague warning and a cheesy business card?"

"Yeah, pretty much. My number's on there, you can call me any time."

And with that, we walk away. I ask Natasha, "You were very quiet back there."

She answers, "I wanted to see how you'd handle it on your own."

"And?"

She nods, "Not bad. Needs some work, but you've got potential."

Next stop, Landman and Zach law firm. Doesn't take us long to track down one intern in particular.

Oh shoot. Foggy. How the hell are we going to get him away from Foggy?

I ask Natasha, "Can you distract his friend while I talk to him?"

She raises an eyebrow, "Why don't you do it?"

"Because you're better looking, better trained, and less squeamish about using yourself as a sexual object."

"True. I can't guarantee you more than ten minutes, though. There are places I'm not willing to go."

I raise a hand submissively, "And I wouldn't ask you to. Just keep his attention elsewhere."

She walks over, and in under 30 seconds she and Foggy are walking away, leaving Matt Murdock alone with his braille.

He stands up and walks over to me, "Why are you here?"

Uh. This wasn't in the plan, "...To talk to you, actually. But how do you know that?"

"I heard you and your friend talking. Being blind comes with its advantages."

Oops. I smile, "Oh, I know it does. Especially when you've been trained by a ninja named Stick."

He snarls, "You're one of his. I told him, I-"

I stop him, "I'm not one of his." I pull out a braille version of my card, "I'm here on behalf of SHIELD. We know what you're capable of, and want your permission to call on you in times of great need. We're even willing to give your career a little nudge in return. You'd be working alongside vigilantes such as Superman and War Machine. Make no mistake, your contribution could save the world."

He's dubious, "Really. You don't have anyone else with the same skillset. I can tell by the way you walk you've been trained. Your friend even more than you. I didn't quit one doomsday cult just to join another one."

"No-one's asking you to get a tattoo, or slit your wrists, or even give a definitive answer. You have my card. If you want to know more, call. If you want to meet your potential teammates, we're hosting a party of sorts. No Kool-Aid, I promise."

He shakes his head, and tears up the card dramatically.

I sigh and stick another one in his shirt pocket, "Think about it the next time you hear a crime with no sirens."

As I'm walking away I contact Nat on comms, "Yeah, we're done."

"How'd it go?"

I shake my head, even though she can't see it, "Even worse than Banner. I think we're one-for-three."

Next on the list is John Constantine. It takes nearly a full week to even track the damn guy down. That alone galvanizes SHIELD's interest in him. He must have some kind of spellwork in play to keep the authorities from sniffing at him too deeply. Makes sense for someone surrounded by as much death as he is.

But, we found him. So Mike, Ike, and Coulson are joining me going to London. Knowing who we're looking for, I'm not expecting the bright and shiny London of Doctor Who. More like the "deep black pit" of Sweeney Todd. And while it's not nearly that bad, I'm glad I didn't get my hopes up.

We ring the doorbell at his flat. He opens the door leaning against the wall, drenched in sweat and stinking of equal parts alcohol and cigarette smoke. He's obviously wasted.

"Who are you lot?"

I'll let Coulson take the lead on this one. He outstretches his hand, "My name is Agent Coulson. I'm with SHIELD. Ms. Bronze here told us about your unique abilities, and we'd quite like to discuss developing a business relationship of sorts."

He looks us all over, lingering in several places on my body that aren't my face. Then stumbles backward and lets the door fall open, "Let yourselves in. I think I've got a few extra beers somewhere."

Ugh. This place is disgusting. There isn't that much mess or trash. It's just generally unclean. Everything that isn't stained is covered in more dust than I think I've seen in my life. And all the furniture has burn marks on it from cigarettes being put out.

We find seats that aren't quite as disgusting as the others. Constantine comes back with a six-pack in each hand. He doesn't seem to have noticed that one of them is full of empty bottles yet.

He sets them down on a coffee table and picks up one of the empty bottles, trying to drink from it before looking offended and putting it back, "So, a
... business arrangement? Does that mean I'm getting paid then?"

Coulson answers, "If you like. We're willing to discuss incentivization."

He lights a cigarette and takes a deep drag, "What does SHIELD want with a master of the Dark Arts? Need to interrogate some poor sod's ghost? A compulsion spell to make someone spill their guts?"

I take over, "Maybe all of the above. This isn't... a one-time arrangement. We want to hire you on as a consultant."

Coulson continues, "You would be working alongside several other people-"

He starts to interrupt, "I'm gonna stop you there, mate. I don't-"

I interrupt him back, "Including Superman."

That stops him.

I smirk, "You'd be working with Superman."

He inhales some more tobacco and blows a ring, "Doing what?"

"What Superman does. Saving people. Protecting the world."

"You really think this world deserves protection?"

I nod, "Yes. And I know you do too. You talk shit, but behind all the cynicism and sarcasm, you care about the earth enough to step up when it really counts. All we want to do is make that easier. We help you, you help us, we all help the human race as a whole. Everyone's happy."

He laughs, "Everyone's happy. That's an impossible goal if ever I heard one." He looks back at Coulson, "You'll pay me?"

He nods, "I can't promise it will be proportional to your contribution, but we'll see what we can do."

I hand him one of my cards, "If you have any questions, you can call me at any time."

He looks at the card, "Do I need a fancy title?"

I smile, "Right now I have you on the paperwork as 'Hellblazer'."

He nods, looking at the card. He takes out his cigarette and extinguishes it on the arm of his chair, and then looks at me with a small smile, "We'll talk about that later."

A week later, I look at Mjolnir, the hammer of the gods. The group we have gathered is big. I start counting. The whole Order, minus May who still says she's not interested in hero work. Jane and Erik make seven.

Bobbi Morse and Sharon Carter make nine. I haven't gotten a good opportunity to ask if they're in the Order yet.

And Mike, Ike, and Superman make twelve. There was a discussion on whether Superman should be here. On the one hand, he already has powers. The extra power he'd receive might not help the team as much as it would if one of the baseline humans were able to wield it. Which is why he's going third to last, before Mike and Ike. On the other, he's one of the most likely people to be 'worthy' by most definitions of the term.

The official reason that Mike and Ike are going last is because Mike's low-ranking and Ike isn't exceptionally trained. The real reason is that we have no way of knowing for absolute certain that they're not Hydra.

First, Erik. He's the one with the best knowledge of Norse mythology, so he'd be best able to interact with the rest of the Nine Realms if, and by if I mean when, that becomes necessary. He puts his hand on the grip, and nothing happens. He pulls a little, but quickly gives up and walks away with a slightly sad smile.

I tried to sneak Jane in next on the list, but that got vetoed. So Fury's up next. He firmly grips the handle with one hand, and instantly gains a frustrated scowl when it doesn't move. But only a second later, he recollects himself and makes way for his second-in-command.

Hill looks at the hammer nervously for a few seconds. Then grabs it with both hands and leans backward, putting her weight into the effort. But, nothing happens. So after a second or two of trying she stands straight and lets it go.

Next are the two who are almost good enough for the team on their own, but not quite. Morse and Carter. Morse tries, and fails. I never expected her to really have a chance anyway. Carter… maybe? If she's anything like Peggy, she might. But no. She joins the other mortal rejects.

Jane is next. She's nice, but she's a little bubbly to be a god. Seems like the hammer agrees with me. It doesn't like Natasha or Clint either. No single person has particularly surprised me, but I'm still a little surprised it's gotten this far down the list.

My turn. I take a deep breath and make my way over.

How cool would it be if I got this? I'm already the Avatar. If I also became an Asgardian? Would I be more powerful than Superman? Maybe.

Better to just get it over with. I quickly reach for it. Before I even touch it, I know it's not going to work. Nothing changes. I don't feel anything. I mean, I didn't expect it to pick me over Erik or Clint. But it's still mildly disappointing when it refuses to budge at my touch.

Oh well. I let go and walk to join the rest, standing next to Jane.

I turn and tell her, "It's too bad you didn't get it. It would've been cool to work with you all the time."

She doesn't say anything. She's not even looking at me. What is she staring at?

Oh shit that's loud! I look at where the thunderclap came from.

Coulson stands, holding Mjolnir in one hand. Asgardian scale armor materializes on his body, replacing his usual clothes. A continuous lightning flash makes the whole thing increasingly difficult to look at, until all at once it stops.

Phil Coulson. God of Thunder.

My expression of shock fades to a smile. In hindsight, it makes sense. Who else would be worthy?

Phil lifts the hammer and looks at it from several angles. He looks like he wants to say something, but for once, can't think of anything.

He looks good. His muscles haven't grown. But the scale armor that's fitted itself very tightly to his physique successfully highlights what's there. I suddenly remember why our first conversation was so flirtatious. I have no intent to pursue that again. But Audrey is a lucky woman. Especially now that he's a god.

I start clapping, and soon everyone else joins in. I cheer and Coulson starts to smile, finally out of his self-reverie.

He does a practice swing, and then another the other way. Then he puts one hand on the head and bows for the crowd.

He walks over to join us and Erik is the first to greet him with a hearty slap on the back. He exchanges smiles with Barton and Hill.

Heheh. Superman's still in shock. He notices I'm looking at him and I raise an eyebrow. He breaks out of it and makes his way toward his latest teammate. The two shake hands, and I see Phil squeeze, testing his newfound strength. Clark takes that as permission and tightens his own grip, only for Coulson to instantly break it off. I guess that answers the question of who's stronger.

The group seems to be calming down a little. I walk over and give Coulson a big smile, "How does it feel to be a god?"

He raises the hammer and looks it over again, "It feels fantastic."

-|-|-

It's time. It's finally time. It's the day of the first official Avengers meeting. Phil, Clint, Natasha, Rhodes, and Superman are already here. Now it's just time to wait for anyone else who might not even show up.

But since waiting is boring, we go ahead and start the party anyway. We rented a house in upstate New York. There's a cake, a fruit salad, stuffed baked potatoes, and a big bowl of Kool-Aid.

...I just remembered I promised Matt there wouldn't be Kool-Aid.

He's probably not gonna show anyway.

If no-one else shows up, then the only people meeting anyone for the first time will be Rhodes and Superman. I think Constantine at least is probably coming. He seemed receptive when we talked on the phone.

The doorbell rings. I run to answer it.

Oh hey! "Banner! I didn't think you were coming!"

He sticks his head inside and looks around, "I didn't think I was either, until yesterday."

I step aside and wave him in, "Come on in! We've got cake."

He comes in and I close the door behind him. First he looks at Superman. Then he looks at Mjolnir on the food table.

I glare at Coulson, "You couldn't find a better place for that?"

He gives a half-shrug, "It's heavy."

I momentarily reach to move it myself, before remembering that that's literally impossible.

Superman comes over and introduces himself to Banner, "Hi. Bruce, is it? I hear we'll be working together."

Bruce nods, "Superman. It's good to meet you. But I think the idea is for the other guy to work with you."

Um, uncomfortable. I give him a smile, "Bruce, I'm glad you're here. Let me know when you want to talk about
... stuff. I know we can figure out something that makes both of you happy."

Clark asks, "So you and the Hulk... aren't… the same person?"

Bruce gives something between a headshake and a shrug, extremely noncommittal, "Xavier doesn't think so. I guess we'll find out."

"I promised to help him make peace with his self. ...Their, selves. With any luck the Hulk can be as normal a member of society as anyone else here." I put a hand on Bruce's shoulder. He flinches, and I retract the action.

Bruce jokes, "I would have let the other guy come in person, but I thought someone else might want to eat too."

Ugh. That's exactly the kind of joke I'd prefer he didn't make. Because he meant it as a joke. If I'm at all successful, Hulk could actually go to parties someday. It's not funny because it's at the Hulk's expense. That's not productive to a healthy brainshare.

Another ring at the door! "I'll get it!"

Constantine cleans up well. Not that he's that much cleaner, but he sells it a lot better.

I nod in greeting, "John Constantine. Welcome to the Avengers."

Jessica Jones walks up the front steps behind him. I wave at her.

Constantine turns around and even from behind I see him checking her out.

That's really not a good match. Like, there's no way that ends well for anyone.

I elbow Constantine in the side, "Don't even think about it."

Jessica approaches the door, "I hope that job opening is still available, 'cause I was supposed to be in my boss's office half an hour ago."

...I'm not stable enough to be the only one out here with these two. I need to get them inside.

Maybe recruiting both of them wasn't the best idea.

"Yeah, come on in. Both of you. You can meet the rest of the team."

A few minutes later, I'm talking with Constantine. He pours something from a flask into his glass of Kool-Aid, "And this spirit Shazam saw is where your power comes from?"

I dismiss the flame in my hand, "Yeah, I think so. It lets me control the elements, travel to the Spirit World… and maybe transform into a Kaiju and communicate with the dead. I'm not sure about those yet."

"What about this future sight thing? Is that part of the same deal?"

I smile, "No, that's all me. I'll tell you how it works, as soon as you sign a nondisclosure agreement."

I look around the room. Jessica's talking with Banner. Superman is chatting with Rhodey. The three SHIELD people are in a corner isolating themselves. I frown.

"Give me a sec, John." I strut over and flick Coulson in the ear.

"I'm a god now. That didn't even hurt."

I huff and gesture at Natasha and Clint, "These two always keep to each other, but I expected better from you! The whole point of this is for prospective members to get to meet the people they don't already know."

I glare at him, directly in the eyes. I nudge my head in the direction of Bruce and Jessica.

He sighs, "Alright."

I follow him. I pick up on the end of what Jessica's saying, "-Stronger than me?"

Bruce smiles at the floor, "Trust me. You don't want to find out."

Coulson says, "I do." He summons Mjolnir from across the room, "This hammer is pretty heavy. Maybe we can see who can throw it the farthest."

I laugh, "Why don't you just ask me? I know what the outcome would be."

Jessica glances at the place where the hammer was a few seconds ago, "I don't think it takes a Clairvoyant to see that."

Constantine joins our circle, "You left me cold, Xav. Just a sec my arse."

He just called me Xav! "Wow. I haven't heard that nickname in a long time."

He asks, "I can tell the look of someone who's had more than their share of losses. I didn't mean to drudge anything up."

I shake my head, "Nono. It's fine. Those are good memories. I don't mind at all." I sigh, "Alex... sometimes called me that. He was important to me."

Constantine lights up a cigarette, "I'm honored that you'd let me use his pet name then."

"It's not like that. Other people called me that too, once. It's just…"

"It meant more coming from him."

I look at Constantine. I guess he knows something about losing people too, "...Yeah."

Oh right. Coulson, Jessica, and Bruce are standing right here.

I cough, "Anyone wanna show off their moves? Constantine, you must have some party tricks. I could see if I could float some punch. I've only done water before, but..."

Jessica raises an eyebrow, "Fire and water? What are you? Captain Planet?"

"Never saw it, so I couldn't say. But yeah, pretty much. Theoretically I can control all four traditional elements plus 'spirit', whatever that means. So far I've only figured out fire and water, though."

Coulson adds, "Give yourself some credit. You have enough spirit mastery to travel to another plane of existence. That's gotta be worth something."

Constantine smiles, "She told me about that. I've been there a few times myself. 'Course I had to pay off a shaman and be high off my mind to do it. Must be the perks of having an angelic spirit grafted onto your soul."

Jessica looks back at me, "Angelic?"

"I don't think it's literally angelic." At least I kind of hope not, "I think Shazam was just putting it in terms he thought I could understand. It's probably pretty powerful though."

Constantine nods, "It'd have'ta be, if what you've told me other Avatars have done is true."

Bruce asks, "There are more of you? Why aren't they here? Don't you want all the freaks you can get?"

"No, there's only one Avatar as far as I know. The others are dead. Or maybe they never existed at all. I'm not sure."

Coulson explains, "Her Clairvoyance is hazy in completely arbitrary places."

I would object to the word arbitrary. But yeah. That's pretty much an accurate description.

Jessica presses the point, "The same Clairvoyance that told you I should avoid englishmen in purple suits."

"Yeah. He's a really bad guy. Whatever you're imagining he might do to you, the real thing is a lot worse." I turn to Coulson, "Speaking of, any luck on tracking him down?"

"Whoever he is, Kilgrave isn't a legal name. The sketch you helped us build has been put on facial recognition watchlists, but without a photo there's too much room for error to investigate every result. We're looking into alternatives."

John asks, "What can the bastard do that's so dangerous? I might be able to help nab him if you give me something to work with."

"Mind control. And that's exactly why I don't want anyone on this team anywhere near the physical investigation. The last thing we want is a psychopath with superhuman stooges. God forbid the man get any real ambition."

That suitably frightens my teammates. John nods, "Right then. Don't have to tell me twice."

Bruce is getting quiet. I pull him back into the conversation before he can drift away from the group, "Bruce. Are you planning to start your research again? You're not a fugitive anymore. Your genius is worth just as much to the world as the other guy's strength."

He smiles, "I think if we're going to make
... this, work, I won't have the time or energy to do much of that. And I've been out of practice for a while."

I scold slightly, "The Hulk isn't an excuse to not live your life. You're sharing your time with someone else. You have to make what little you have to yourself count."

Constantine supports me, "I once met a poor sod named Ketch. He inherited a demon that possessed him come sundown, every day. You never met a man who loved his wife more. That man knew how to party. And party safely at that."

Jessica drops out of the group and slinks into a corner. Bruce is responding, but it looks like Constantine has taken up my cause. I step out and go over to her, "You okay?"

She looks at me, "I'm in a room with an alien, a psychic, a god, and a demon hunter. What do you think?"

I nod, "It's a lot to take in all at once."

She shakes her head, "I don't know if I can handle this. Fuck, I gave up my job to be here. What if I can't get it back?"

"I can call in a favor. If you were being questioned as a witness, they might not fire you for the missed time. No-one will hold it against you if you don't want to join. It's risky work."

"I would hold it against me. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. You're giving me the choice between being a world-renowned hero, and being a desk jockey for the rest of my life."

"It's not a one-time offer. You can wait, and sign up later. And if you wear some kind of costume or mask you can always go back if the life doesn't suit you."

She glares at me, "I'm not stupid. There is no going back from something like this." She points at Superman, "This is the kind of shit that changes you. These people are already in it. I'm the only one here with a choice!"

"You're right." That breaks her out of her panic, which was the point, "You're different. But everyone here-" Bruce, "
...Almost everyone here faced the same choice at some point. Have you talked to Superman yet?"

She looks at me disbelievingly, "How do you talk about that like it's something I can just go do?"

"Because you can." I point, "He's right there. This is a meet-and-greet. Go meet. Greet. Ask him about how he decided to start going out in tights. Or ask Rhodes, or Coulson. I'm not trying to pressure you into deciding now, but I am pointing out that you have resources that can make it easier."

She doesn't say anything. But she's also not moving.

Okay, let's try something else, "You have a sister, right? Adoptive? You two are close?"

She nods, "Trish. We haven't talked in a few weeks."

"Call her. Tell her. Talk to her about it." I throw up my hands, "I don't know you. Not really. I've seen some hypothetical future version of you that hopefully won't ever exist. It's your choice. These people know the choice, and Trish knows you."

She pulls out her phone and stares at it for a second, "I'm gonna step outside."


Trish Walker: Interlude

My phone rings with a tone I haven't heard all week. I instantly leave my producer to his rambling, "Excuse me, I have to take this." He complains, but I don't listen. I step away and answer, "Jess? What's going on? I haven't heard from you in a while."

She sounds distressed, "I need your opinion on something. I got a job offer."

Why is she conflicted? She hates the job she has now, "What's the job?"

"Some organization called SHIELD found out about my powers. They want me to join a team. I know that sounds bad, but it seems about as trustworthy as government work gets." She pauses, "Trish, I'm standing within fifty feet of Superman right now."

Oh my, "Superman? As in
..."

"As in Superman. The Man of Steel. The hero of Metropolis. The guy in a red suit who flies around the world without the help of reindeer. Iron Man's sidekick is here too."

I don't know what to think about this, "They want you to work with Superman and War Machine?"

"And some other people too. There's a scientist who's supposed to transform into the Hulk. You know, the green monster that a bunch of people saw in Harlem? And there's some other chick who can see the future. I'm freaking out and I don't know what to do."

I start putting on my coat, "Where are you?"

"Upstate. A town called Marlboro near Poughkeepsie."

I push the elevator button, "Can I meet you there? We need to talk in person."

"Yeah. Thanks Trish."

I roll my eyes, "You're my best friend. This is big. Do you really think I wouldn't be there for you? Text me the address, I'll be there in half an hour."

"You don't have to rush, I think I'll be here for a while."

"We need to talk. I'll be there in half an hour. See you then." I hang up.

What's the fastest way there? Depends on if I can get a good cabbie or not.

Superman? I remember talking about getting her a costume when Superman first made his debut. But, now it's actually happening. I know I should be excited, but I'm really just scared. This isn't like stopping a mugging or something. The stuff those people do is dangerous. We don't know how strong Jessica is, and I can't lose her.

There. That cab is driving far over the speed limit. I wave and whistle, and they pull over. I jump in right away, "Marlboro in upstate. I'm in a hurry. I'll pay extra."

-|-|-

So far so good. No-one's started a fight yet. Jessica seemed to calm down a lot after talking with Trish, and she's talking with Superman now. I knew Trish would be supportive of the hero concept. I do want her to make her own decision, but... I also want her to decide to join the team. I think hero work would be good for her.

Rhodes gets my attention, "So we haven't really talked since the Ten Rings dropped a building on you. You okay?"

I nod, "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks. Don't be too hard on yourself. There was no reason to think they'd have suits of their own."

"Okay maybe that was the wrong question. How are you okay?"

I laugh, "Part of water, I think. Or maybe spirit. I'm not sure. If I have access to clean water I can heal some kinds of injuries, including burns."

He nods, "So you're the team medic, on top of everything else."

"Constantine can probably do a healing spell in a pinch, but yeah. I guess I am. Try not to need it too often."

He smiles, "I'm just justifying a reason to protect you next time. I felt terrible when I heard what had happened. I never want to let something like that happen on my watch again."

"How about we protect each other? That's what a team does in the field, right?"

He concurs, "Leave no man behind."

I warn him, "Careful with the military talk around the newbies. We don't wanna scare 'em off. I know what we do is basically a military operation already. But some people like to delude themselves that somehow it's different if you're wearing a fancy outfit."

"Copy that."

I chuckle.

"I can't help but notice Tony isn't here."

I look at his face to judge his tone better, "I had something to do with that. I pointed out that in a combat scenario you bring everything he does without the ego and attitude. Fury agreed with me."

He doesn't seem upset at all about that, "Tony isn't going to like getting left out once he finds out about our little club here. Iron Man is the world's most popular human being right now."

I shake my head, "He knows he has problems. Acknowledging that isn't going to break him. Feeling left out might just give him some humility."

He looks at me, "That's cold."

I take a moment to collect my response, "It is. It's also the truth. He's a smart man, he deserves that much."

I glance over and oh dear. Superman and Jessica are readying for an arm-wrestling match. Bruce is watching them. That table won't survive if they're going all out.

A loud bang sounds and Jessica's arm is pinned flat against the table. Looks like Superman kept just enough restraint to avoid collateral damage. I guess he must be pretty good at that.

Ha. Jessica's face is funny. She can't move her arm at all. As soon as she shows frustration Superman takes mercy and releases her. He gives her an apologetic look and says something. She smiles in return, but is still obviously bothered by her thoughts.

I hear something else and turn to see Constantine punching Coulson repeatedly in the face. Clint and Natasha are watching, and Phil is smiling, so I guess it's not a problem.

This must be the part of the party where the house gets totaled by people showing off.

Eventually John stops and shakes off his hands. He laughs, "Did you even feel a damn thing?"

Phil feels his jaw, "I felt it. It just didn't hurt. Sorry to disappoint you."

"Mate, if we're fighting together I want you as tough as you can be. I'll feel a hell of a lot safer with you standing by my side."

The mood overtakes me and I shout over, "Hey Constantine! How good are you at controlling fire?"

He gives me an eyebrow, "Not as good as you, I'd wager."

I generate a fireball between my hands, "Try."

He turns to face me and takes a few steps forward. We exchange challenging looks and he holds out a hand towards me. He closes his eyes and starts muttering some sort of incantation.

Oh that's interesting. I can feel his influence on the fire. The parts that he's affecting are changing. They no longer feel like mine. I have to float it a little farther above my hands to avoid getting burned.

And then it starts to move. The way I move fire is by giving it energy trails to follow. He's not doing the same thing. Some thing about the fire changes, to make it want to follow something other than the path of least resistance. I can give it as much energy as I want, and it doesn't even slow it down. Magic is a whole other level of bullshit.

The fire flows right from my hands over to his, and reforms into a somewhat smaller ball in its new place.

Hmm. Let me try something. I can manipulate heat in much the same way I do fire. I know I can put out fire by moving all the heat away from an area. I've tested it out on candles at H.O.M.E..

I reach out toward his fireball and feel out the energy flow. It's chaotic, and backwards. Something's just wrong about it. It makes no sense. But it's still there. The fire is still drawing from the same basic kind of energy.

Maybe there's an easier way than freezing it out like I usually have to do. I start moving the energy away. Normally, the fire would just follow along. But thanks to the magic, it's not. It's just drawing from however much is left in place.

So as I clear the space free of energy, his fireball quickly shrinks, and then dies in a puff of smoke.

He frowns, "How did you do that?"

Does he not know? "Fire needs energy. That fire wasn't being fueled by anything, so all I needed to do was deprive it of the elemental energy it needed to stay alive."

"It was being fueled by magic."

I shake my head, "It was being held in place by magic. Control and source aren't the same thing when it comes to fire.
...I can feel it."

John looks at me, mental gears turning, "Remind me to ask you for a lesson on 'elemental energy' someday."

"It's a date." As soon as the words are out of my mouth I regret them. But, surprisingly he doesn't react to the phrasing in any untoward way. He simply gives me a genuine and respectful smile.

Oh look, Bruce and Natasha are talking. Should I rescue them from each other? No. It looks like Clint left them to it to go get some food. We catch each other watching over the two and I throw him a telling smile.

He walks past me and I follow him to the far corner. He asks, "Do you know something about those two?"

I smirk, "Yes. And the answer is yes. Is that a good thing?"

He looks back at them just as they break off to talk with other people, "I don't know. Nat's never really done the romance thing. Not for real, anyway. Life like hers makes it hard. Spend your whole life lying to people to make them love you, how do you get someone to trust you the honest way?"

"I can see how that would make it difficult. Whether it happens or not, I think we have a few years. Neither of them are ready right now. Bruce is still fresh off his ex. They both have recently reinforced trust issues."

He nods, "She doesn't show it, but what you told me that I told her, hit her pretty hard. She's started isolating herself, more than usual."

"Hopefully being an Avenger can help with that."

My phone timer beeps.

"That's my queue." I call out to everyone, "Alright Avengers. Let's gather up."

They start to form a sort-of lopsided circle. I make sure the tape recorder is visible when I click the record button.

"I think most of us have met each other already, but just in case, we're gonna go around and introduce ourselves. You don't have to give your real name if you don't want to. But SHIELD regulations require that everyone have a codename. You can also give a brief summary of your powers, or not. If you want to join the team now, you can add, 'And I'm an Avenger!' But it's not required."

Jessica snarks, "AA much?" A few suppressed giggles sound from the circle.

I knew this was the wrong way to go with this, "Vocal declaration seemed more convenient than collecting signatures. The record needs it to be clearly stated in simple and consistent words. If it makes you uncomfortable, you can sign something instead..."

She submits, "No, I'm fine. Go on."

"I'll start. I'm Xavier Bronze. Current codename Clairvoyant, but I keep asking to get that changed to Avatar. I can control and generate fire, heal wounds with and manipulate water, and see some possible futures." Glare at Jessica, "And I'm an Avenger."

I turn to Clint to my left. He takes a moment to figure out that he's supposed to go next, "My name is Barton, codename Hawkeye. I use a bow and arrow, and haven't missed a target in going on three years now. And I'm an Avenger."

Phil goes next, "I'm Agent Coulson. You can call me the Thunderer." He pulls his hammer to him from across the room, "This hammer gives me all the power of the Norse god Thor. Strength, durability, lightning and weather control, and limited flight. And I'm an Avenger."

Superman waits a polite moment, "I'm Superman. I'm an alien from the planet Krypton. And I'm an Avenger. The yellow sunlight here in combination with the relatively low gravity gives me superhuman strength, speed, and durability. I can fly." Rhodes opens his mouth to start but-, "I also have heat vision and x-ray vision, freeze breath, superhuman hearing. And I don't need to eat as long as I have access to sunlight."

Rhodes looks mildly annoyed and waits slightly longer than necessary to make sure he's done, "Colonel James Rhodes of the United States Air Force. I'm an Avenger. Tony Stark is a close personal friend of mine, and I recently acquired one of his suits and took on the name War Machine. When I'm wearing the suit I can-"

Constantine interrupts him, "Does anyone here not know what an Iron Man suit can do? No? Right then. Let's hear from the lovely ladies."

Natasha doesn't quite smile, "I'm known as the Black Widow. I'm trained in martial arts, assassination, espionage, and interrogation. And I'm an Avenger."

Jessica looks around at us all, "I'm Jessica. I don't know if I really want to do this yet, and I don't know what my name would be if I did. I'm not as strong as anyone else who can claim to be strong, and I… don't really have anything else. I don't really know why I was invited when you have Superman. But I'm here, and I'm done talking."

Bruce is obviously uncomfortable at the attention, "My name is Bruce Banner. I'm a leading scientist in the fields of radiology and bioorganic chemistry. But I'm here on behalf of what you might know as the Hulk, who transforms into me when he calms down. It-" I give him a pointedly disappointed glare, "...He, is bigger, stronger and much less friendly than I am. And as far as I know, as long as he exists, neither of us can die."

There's a somber silence, which John quickly breaks, "I'm John Constantine. Xav tells me my codename is Hellblazer, which I'm growing to like more every time I hear it. I'm a demonologist, master of the Dark Arts, and overall nasty son of a bitch to anything that calls Hell its home." He pauses for a moment, "And I guess while I'm at it I might as well be a bloody Avenger."

And that's everyone.

And then the doorbell rings.

I get the door and see Trish Walker instead of Matt Murdock like I was expecting.

I call out, "Jessica, it's for you!" Back to the newcomer, "Hi. I'm Xavier."

She asks suspiciously, "How did you know who I was here to see?"

Jessica answers, "She's the psychic I told you about. Creepy, isn't it?"

...I'm creepy?

Jessica says, "Come on in."

Trish comes in and is immediately starstruck by the circle of imposing figures and strong personalities.

Jessica points around the circle, "Superman, War Machine, Black Widow, the Hulk, Hellblazer, Hawkeye, Thunderer, and Xavier's the Clairvoyant."

I shake my head, "Please don't call me that."

Trish looks around at everyone again, "You're all superheroes?"

Clint answers, "More or less. Not all of us are super. Not all of us are heroes. But we're all here to do what we can."

Jessica talks to her sister, "I've been talking to all of them all day. It seems like it's for real. That's definitely actually Superman, at least."

Trish turns, "Oh yeah? Superman has x-ray vision, right? What color underwear am I wearing?"

He shrinks back, scratching his neck, "...I don't answer that question anymore. If you want to put up a certain number of fingers behind your back…"

Jessica interrupts, "It's him. It looks like him, he can fly, and he's stronger than me. Do you really think I haven't been checking for fraud? I'm suspicious too."

Trish snaps, "You damn well should be. We've never even met another person with powers before, and now suddenly this group contacts you offering heroism and fame? It's a trap. I just haven't figured out what for yet."

I answer, "For good. It's a trap for good." She's listening now, "You're right. We are trying to incentivize Jessica to join us. We want her here. But we want her with us for the good of the team, for the good of the human race, and her own damn good too. Fuck, Trish, you must know how bored she's been. Desk job after desk job doing tedious, endless nothings for the benefit of BP and Coca Cola. She's wasted doing jobs that anyone out of middle school could do just as well. She's unique."

She looks at me sternly, "My theory is cult, and I haven't seen or heard anything yet that disproves that. Just because you have powers doesn't mean you know what's best for her."

"You're right. The fact that I can see the future does." I sigh, "She saves people, one way or another. It's who she is. If I hadn't stepped in she would have lost months of her life as a consequence of saving someone. And even then she would have gone to hell and back to save someone else. And then she tried to spare the man who put her through that hell."

Time to pull out the big guns.

"And you know I'm right, because she's saved you too. The bathroom, when you were teenagers. Your mother wanted you to lose weight for the role of Patsy. She never bothered you after that, did she?"

She's tearing up. Maybe I took it too far.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought that up. I just need you to know that I'm on her side. And that means we're on the same side."

Constantine breaks into the conversation, "No-one's here who doesn't want to be, miss. Your friend's in good hands."

Trish wipes away the tears, "Jessica, can we talk outside?"

Jessica nods and the two quickly clear out, leaving the rest of us to speculate on what's being said.

Bruce comments, "And here I thought I'd be the hardest one to convince."

I shake my head, "Daredevil didn't even show up. Still, three out of four isn't bad."

Superman adds, "I get the feeling I'm only here because of you too. And Rhodes tells me you recommended him over Stark. That makes five out of six."

Phil smiles, "I only have this hammer because of her."

I protest, "There's about four others I didn't bother mentioning because there wasn't a chance in hell that they'd accept." Oliver, Kara, May, "
...But I am pretty awesome, aren't I."

Clint joins in, "Hey, now wait a minute. Nat would've brought Bruce in with or without you. You've said as much yourself before. He doesn't count."

Natasha nods, "And while Thunderer might not be here, Thor himself would be."

I turn to Phil, "See? That brings me down to…" Count it up, "...Four out of nine. I think."

Bruce turns to Nat, "What would you have said to bring me in without her offering to help me control the other guy?"

"I didn't offer to help you control the other guy. I offered to help you build a working, stable relationship with him that's mutually beneficial. There's a big difference."

Natasha ignores me and answers the original inquiry, "I don't know what I would've said. You'd have to ask her."

I shrug, "I don't remember that well. Sorry. Not an important moment."

I've spent a lot of time combing through my memory for details. Just thinking about the movies for hours and hours, trying to eek out every bit of information that might be leftover from Alex before I forget anything crucial. After all, it's not information I can get anywhere else. But dialogue hasn't exactly been the focus.

Oh right, I should probably mention that, "John." Constantine looks at me, "At some point there might be a situation involving a little girl and a demon. You might think it's a good idea to summon a bigger, badder demon to scare it off. Think again. That's a massively stupid plan that gets the little girl banished to hell. I'm fucking disappointed you didn't get that right the first time. Don't fuck it up this time."

He lights up a cigarette, "Thanks for the warning." I'm a little surprised he didn't take offense at that. But I guess he might have experience with psychics shaming him for things he hasn't done yet. I wonder if he'll actually listen.

Rhodes asks, "Anything else you want to tell us while we're all here together?"

"Don't trust anyone named Zemo? Run away from anything that looks silly enough to be in a children's cartoon? Oh, should we develop a code so we can tell if any of us are ever replaced by a shapeshifting imposter?"

Phil jumps at the opportunity, "Something like Queen to King's Level One?"

I wave him off, "Something more memorable than that. Besides, isn't that a little on the nose?"

Clint suggests, "How about 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good'?"

"Perfect." In ways only the Order members among us truly understand.

Superman answers, "I liked Queen to King's Level One."

I roll my eyes, "Whatever. We'll get the idea whichever we use."

Natasha says, "I'm not telling you my code."

I look at her, "Then how are any of us gonna know if it's you or not?"

She and Clint exchange a look.

"Oh, well of course he'd know."

Superman leans in to me, "So, are those two…"

"No. Not married. Not siblings. Just close. Yes, that can be a thing."

He quickly backtracks, "Oh no, I know. I didn't mean to assume. I have a friend, Watchtower. We've known each other forever and never
..."

I laugh a little at his expense, "Cool it, boyscout. You don't need to be so touchy all the time."

Wait, Chloe's a thing here?

"Blonde? Used to be a reporter for the school paper?"

He gawks for the barest moment, "Just how much of my life do you know?"

"Know? Not very much. But I have a pretty good idea of what most of it might have been like. Your father's still alive, right? The human one?"

He nods, worried, "Should I be worried?"

"Probably not. He usually either dies when you're still a teen or else lives long into your adulthood. But maybe convince him to get his heart checked out just to be safe."

"Thanks."

I wait a moment, "You know, I thought about inviting your cousin."

He glares at me a little bit.

I continue, "I figured with you as an example, she'll come into hero work when she's ready for it. No need to rush things."

He nods, still a little offput by my knowledge, "I appreciate that."

I guess I am pretty creepy sometimes.

A while later, Jessica and Trish come back in. Good. I was starting to worry that they'd just left.

Jessica comes up to me, "I think, I'm not ready for this. Can you get me my job back?"

"Sure. I'm sorry for… Well."

"Maybe after I've had some time to think. I'll keep the card. Thanks."

She and Trish make their way back out.

Constantine joins me and Superman queries, "Down one already?"

I shake my head, "No. I think she'll come around. I still count this as a win."

I notice Superman's distasteful expression at Constantine's cigarette and smile to myself, amused at his discomfort.

Constantine asks, "What is it?"

I shake my head with a chuckle, "Nothing."

I go over to where Bruce is talking to Rhodes, "Hey, can I talk to you for a second?"

He looks at Rhodes and gets a nod of release, "I've got the time. What's going on?"

I look him right in the eyes, "I want you to see if you can let the other guy out. Right here. Right now."

He shakes his head with a smile, "I don't think that's a good idea."

I shrug, "Maybe not. But the only way he's ever going to trust you, is if you start trusting him. That means taking risks. Nothing here is going to antagonize him. We're planning to let him out later anyway, even work with him. Why not start now?"

His smile fades into a grimace, "Have you seen what he can do?"

"Yes. More than you. I've seen what he can be. I've been where he is now. I know what it's like to be treated like a monster. Sometimes you feel like playing the role. But that's not who he is. That's what's been done to him. He's never been trusted, never been shown kindness. Even from you. That fucking sucks. We need to change that."

His resolve is breaking, keep pushing.

I say, "It's step one." He's thinking, "Peaceful coexistence."

A tint of green swells above his eyebrow, and I squash the instinctual reaction of terror. His whole body suddenly grows, until his clothes are tight and I have to look up to maintain eye contact.

And then the eyes change. And suddenly I see someone else. Someone sad. Someone in pain. And then fear.

And then Bruce is back, and he shrinks back down, his skin reverting to exclusively human shades. The Hulk is gone.

He shakes his head, "No. It's too dangerous."

I make it very clear on my face how sad and disappointed I am, "You saying that is the only thing that makes it true."

He's not making eye contact anymore.

"I want to meet him. Whatever precautions it takes to get you to agree. I want to talk to the other guy."

Everyone's staring at us. I guess they noticed Banner suddenly growing four inches.

I smile over my shoulder, "Sorry folks. Hulk isn't making an appearance after all. We'll have to reschedule that meeting for another time."

Constantine points at Bruce with his cigarette, "That's quite a condition you've got there, mate. One thing to see on the news. Another thing entirely in person."

Bruce gets back his characteristic half-smile, "Maybe you'll actually get to see it some day."

There he is using 'it' again. I have a lot of work to do.

Constantine summons me over and after a quick check on Bruce I follow.

He near-whispers, "Are you sure it isn't a demon in there?"

Normally I'd consider that offensive. But his past experiences make that a pretty reasonable line of inquiry, "Pretty sure. If he is, he's a redeemable one. If it would make you feel better, you could covertly test it."

"That I might, love."

I see something out of the corner of my eye. What's Phill doing?

Oh, that's interesting. He's holding one hand over Mjolnir and appears to be using the summoning mechanism to levitate it. I approach to watch and ask, "How are you doing that?"

He's concentrating, and so takes a second to answer, "I noticed that the speed of the hammer when I pull it is determined by my emotional state. More urgency means it comes faster, and with more force. Right now I'm controlling my emotions to equalize the pull against gravity."

Most of everyone is watching now, but I'm not going to point that out and throw him off, "That's really cool. Do you wanna know something that makes it even cooler?"

Suddenly Mjolnir propels itself away from him with enough force to skip across the hardwood and make several dents and gashes. He looks at me, "What's that?"

I grin, "As far as I know, Thor never figured that out."

He smiles back, "Well it's not exactly combat applicable."

Rhodes supports me, "Not yet. But with practice... It definitely has potential."

I call out to the crowd, "Our most powerful member may have just gotten an upgrade!" I give Superman an aside, "Sorry, but the weather control kind of tips him over in raw output. You're still the best at flying and punching really hard. And one of our most experienced members." His amused face tells me there was no need for the lousy attempt at validation.

I guess I might be up there in raw power once I get gud. Especially if I can go into the Avatar State and summon on all of the other Avatars. Am I potentially more powerful than Superman? The very fact that I have to ask is enough to almost make me giddy. I love my life sometimes.

Bruce asks, "I thought punching really hard was why you invited me? Or, the other guy."

I sigh, "You're here so that someday soon, both of you might be in the position to do whatever you want. Maybe the day will come when you discover that neither of you really enjoy punching. Or maybe, you'll discover that both of you do. I brought you here to help you figure that out."

Clint and Natasha are isolating themselves again. But it looks like a private conversation and I don't particularly want to interrupt.

We all stop when we hear something banging in the other room.

Phil summons his hammer and starts quietly making his way down the hall, followed immediately by Superman floating just above the carpet. Then Rhodes with a drawn sidearm, and then myself. I hear Constantine muttering some kind of spell behind me.

We file silently into the kitchen. I finally enter the room and can't keep myself from bursting into laughter almost immediately.

The intruder who was shoulder-deep in the fridge turns around, still holding a stack of tupperware with the extra food we didn't need. I double over. Oh god, that's too funny. That fucking idiot.

I hear a pistol cock and look back up. I stop laughing.

And then I start again. Because he's not pointing it at me. He's pointing it at Superman.

The burglar drops their gun with a swear when it starts to glow red hot. Thank you, Constantine.

He's backing away slowly, still holding the stolen food. This is not helping my efforts to stop laughing.

And then I hear Superman and Coulson joining me. And then we're all three rendered useless. This is amazing. Of all the places he could have robbed!

Rhodes calmly walks over and takes the containers of food away, setting them down on the counter. And then he starts naming off the Miranda Rights.

I point at this stupid, stupid guy, "Hey! You! Congratulations! … This makes you the first official Avengers villain!" Aaand, back to laughing uncontrollably.

Several minutes later we file back into the front room. Rhodes is holding our first villain by the upper arm.

Clint asks, "What happened in there?"

And I'm laughing again. Not too hard to answer though, "We got robbed."

Clint looks at me, and then at the newcomer. And now he's laughing too. Nat doesn't take long to join in.

Rhodes walks his captive over to the food table, "Might as well help yourself. The police won't be here for a few minutes." He turns to the rest of us, "Did someone call them?"

I shake my head and rub the tears out of my eyes, "No, I don't think so."

Constantine corrects me, "I did."

Rhodes nods in gratitude, "Thank you."
 
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