You say that, but I would note that:
snip
It seems like almost every plan she makes with him, he changes on her, hides something, or neglects to mention something, and she only knows about it when it is too late. Often from the media.
There is "plan around" and there is "make plans with".
Imagine if every time you asked someone to do something or not do something they said yes, then altered the terms if not just ignored them. No, "Hey is this good...?", "Would you mind if I...?", or "Sorry something came up and ...".
You're massively over-complicating things. She's upset because Joe invalidates the whole dynamic of achievement for someone like her.
It's hard to feel successful while being in his orbit. When your cape outfit would win any fashion show in any other city and could stand up to anything that might be thrown at you stand up to tank fire, it's hard for you to stand on your own merits. Even more when he could just swoop in and save them.
"Now remember, don't kick their ass too hard or Mommy Apeiron will just swoop in and save them."
You bring up really good points. It's easy to be angry at Tats when we are reading from Joe's view and have primary his interest in hand when plot is happening.
It's one more thing I would like Tattletale and Apeiron to try doing. It's to explain to each other their morals, principles and ideas on how they should bring down Coil. Now or at the least before this it was limited to 'I have no plans at the moment. I will build up and then confront Bakuda.' This didn't work as Apeiron takes into account other factors (Aisha, anti ziz strategy) that he feels he needs to hide from Tats. Just like he said Aisha is prime gang recruit material. Especially to the Undersiders. Tattletale didn't explain her plan either so he might not have thought he might have disrupted something even with his rescue of Weld. I think Tats said that they (Undersiders) didn't plan anything else too after Apeiron said he didn't plan to do anything before Aisha Rescue Arc.
If they explain their morals, principles and wants then much can be understood between each other even if the plan suddenly changes. Just like Tats said that Apeiron goes from acceptance to driving force to hammer his conviction with his righteous anger in a moments of notice with no middle ground.
I think Tattletale approaches Apeiron from a wrong side. She approached him from what he can do. Not what he wants to do. I mean she approaches him to manipulate him. How much he can be pushed, what makes him tick and how he reacts. This has always worked for Tattletale. Just like she said in her thoughts.
Observe. Understand. Control.
If she were to approach Apeiron from another perspective then she would understand his actions and his wants much better.
What kind of person Joe is, his wants and goals. It would be best if she can be upfront with her worries, problems and wants. A interpersonal problems can only be solved if both parties knows about it.
She said he's a well intentioned idiot. Okay, he wants well. One of his goals is to have Undersider safe, at the least keep Taylor safe. Has she explained what she wants? No, she has said it's not safe for her to talk about Coil. She has acknowledged that his passenger is right when his power says she's in distress and wants out from Coil. This isn't 'planning with.'
I'm actually disagreeing with her assessment:
You can't control a situation that you don't understand. She had lived through that before, and she wouldn't go back. She promised herself that. Even when she was hungry on the streets she hadn't relented. When Coil's men had snatched her off the Boardwalk she nodded and played the long game, never giving up. Observe. Understand. Control.
...
But that didn't work with Joe. A man who didn't know what his own power would bring couldn't be understood, predicted, and stood as the antithesis of controllable factors. No, the only practical way forward was under his authority. And as practical as it was, she couldn't accept it. Couldn't allow herself to accept it.
This is exactly what I brought up earlier with her approach being wrong. She needs to approach him as one human to another. His powers might change but his wants is the same. It's very much controlled chaos, it's just something she isn't used to look for and thus it's her antithesis of control.
I think a good metaphor would be like Tattletale sets up dominoes that she will trigger and when the time is right. However she has neither said anything where they will be, what kind it is or even that she will be doing anything. Just that it isn't safe to do something about Coil yet. She wants Apeiron tech to do it herself not his personal attention. Of course his cavalry is her last step and a good safety net. But it isn't his role in that.
Apeiron in this case is dancing across the floor. Randomly dancing everything from Hip Hop, folk dance, Irish dance and Swing dance. Him not knowing that his vibrations and sound echos disturbs Tattletale carefully crafted domino setup. Apeiron can plan his dance to take into account Tattletale's setup if he knows what form it is or what it will be disturbed from.
And she hated it. She hated the weakness she had felt in that moment. The way she had pressed into his hand, desperate for the healing to continue, for the pain to stay away. She had held out against her parents when they tried to manipulate her. She had survived on the street without any dependencies or obligations. Even when Coil came she held out, first in her mind and then through whatever subversions she could manage.
She had withstood all of those challenges, but in that moment, with that magical technology holding back the pain, her resolve had vanished. She had been ready to sign on, to take any deal, do whatever it took to stay there. Ready to fall in line in a way she never would with Coil. To be whatever was needed to stay right where she was.
With her being afraid of his kindness, his technology, his means and wants desperately to have independence. Her achievements to stand from. To stand of her own on her own terms at the same time as she accepts his help to defeat Coil.
But this requires her to be upfront with him. To be upfront with her insecurities, her worries and what she's afraid of. I think that Lisa has either forgotten or dismissed who she has been before Tattletale grew. Likewise she's forgets that Apeiron has Joe's values but not necessary how Apeiron does things.
Capes have masks, both metaphorically and physical. They are acting differently between civilian and cape mode. With Joe's power it becomes even more pronounced between his cape id and civilian id. With a normal cape they just makes themself free from mundane worries. For some people it might be an escape. With Apeiron he makes also makes himself free from mundane thoughts but his thoughts, knowledge and strategies for his wants is 1000x times more chaotic than a normal persons with his constant power ups. It's both a design and a consequence for his strategy.
Just like others have already said about her trauma. She triggered from something involving confusion, missing pieces of a puzzle, or ignorance. This makes her a particularly poor teammate to Apeiron. What I'm talking about is her trauma is constantly reminding her of her ignorance, shifting patterns and about steps too late.
At least if Lisa will bring up her feelings Joe will not brush her off, like his family did to him. He has too many different ways to view the world for that. He even has Do One Thing At A Time.
Joe's feelings has soured considerably since his wake up call after the bank. So he will not open up first. I think Tats will try to take advantage of that meeting to peer into what makes Joe tick if she hasn't understood that she needs to be upfront and change her approach.