letting the clerks, then agents go
Sounds a little better with a coma after agents.
Once you were sure you have all
*you had*
and the clown wave is still inside
Hmmm, * and with the clown wave still inside* sounds better, I think.
which they were doing the best, though they were slowly beginning to be pushed back, despite their best.
A little too many best there and a strange wording at the beginning, also, there should be a *doing* at the end before best.
I think: *which they were very good at,* works better for the fist part.
this was enough to have you equip Solemn Lament
*allow* instead of *have* works better here.
But you focused on in the incoming flood
Works better if you replace the *But* by a *Still,* and no need for the *in*, the term is *focused on*.
at you with those annoying laughter
*this annoying laughter*
Either way, it was going to be messy either way
An *either way* too many there, you should remove the first one.
You shook your head from that train of thought as you aimed your guns at the clowns, aiming as you waited.....
*out of that train of thought*. Also *waiting while doing so* at the end rather than *aiming as you waited*.
Man, we have quite a good aim, managing to hit the only one that's in a closet.
*closest*, but funny typo.
That's not how it goes, you thought in stunned surprise as you watch the, rather small, chain of explosions of confetti and laughter, along with the rest of the flood fading away with echoing laughter.
...
....
......
The Red Phantom was fucking with us, wasn't he?
where the horde once were
*once was* there may be many in a horde, but there is only one horde there, so singular instead of plural form for the verb.
and those illusions, for what else could be they been
*have been* at the end
combine that with it was just playing you
*how it was just playing with you*
That thing was messing around, and those illusions, for what else could be they been, were so lifelike that they were almost the real thing, combine that with it was just playing you, it really told you how much of a danger it was.
Returning to the entire sentence, I think you should replace a coma by a period, more precisely, the coma after *real thing*, you begin a new idea here.
fire power when you eventually
You should put a *for* before the *when* there.
on fixing from what is called the
No need for the *from* here. Also, *was* instead of is, tense you stay consistent.
*could* instead of *can*
fixed up to the Healing Regenerators which have just come back online
*fixed up in* rather than *to*, and *had* instead of *have*.
*we'll be golden!*
Hey, has that door been there before?
*was that door there before?* is the correct way to phrase that.
You too were confused by this, not once remembering any doors or rooms.
Sounds better if you say *You were just as confused by this,* at the beginning. You can also remove the *once* there.
But so far, it was just a room, white in color with black lines forming patterns
A little like this?
X should remember this room well, I think, what with how important it was to him.
You were briefly reminded of last floor during which you faced off Able, Abram, Adam and Ayin himself. But, it was different much more so.
Ah, X did make the parallel.
And *Yet, it was also quite different.* Works better as the sentence as the end rather than *But, it was different much more so.*
You should add a *closer* after *Getting* here.
you knew otherwise when things like this appear, it's best to do what it says,
Given how the sentence continues after it, you should replace the *otherwise* by a *that*.
After much thought over them, you choose it and set it on the circle, watching it glow and saw a figure materialize on the throne.
New servant, get! Let's fuck up this Grail War all we can! Yoohoo!
Wild card baby!
[x] You made an offering of enkephalin...... despite the being sitting on the throne taking the guise of an androgynous human you can tell that on a fundamental level it wasn't human at all. They made smiled at you like you were something exciting.
[x] You made an offering of solemn laments essence, you can not give it away but you can share it........ the inhuman being reminds you of a mix of Funeral of the Dead Butterflies and Fairy based Abnormalities. Death clings to this being as it sits there on the throne with unreadable mannerisms like an insect.
[x] You offered the fears and wishes of the facility, written as notes, recordings, photos of graffiti, all of them getting a simple message across....... 'I don't want to die here', you even found one of yours from a failed loop...... it was an unpleasant one you wish you didn't remember. The woman on the throne exuded a soothing prescence and the weight you had on your shoulders...... the weight you forgot was there, lifted. She was from the desert and offered stories to comfort you all for many nights.
Those are the ones I'm most interested in, I was going to only take the insect and non-human, but then I read Sheharazde's profile and she has *anti-king* in her list of skills, in a war with that many kings in it, particularly the king of Uruk, she is going to be a monster. The fact that she also offers a safe space is the cherry on top.
The other two is just because I love non-human characters.
And for interludes:
[x] Dreams of A Librarian
[x] Kaleidoscope Meets Tear
[x] A Voice and A Cephalopod
