[Bleach] Strawberry X Life

[The Ero-Sennin]

Scraped from here.

Hello readers, a year ago I presented and promoted Bleach: Praise the Soul as a darker, edgier fanfiction so twisted that I created a mirror universe to contain it. It was my attempt at being 90s Extreme, complete with blood, gorn, and naughty stuff.

But then stuff happened, I moved across the country, and it gave me a chance to expand my tastes.

So, Bleach: PTS fell by the wayside and languished on the back burner until one day, while pitching ideas back and forth with that nigga you love to hate, Anonguy, an idea for something bigger and better than Praise The Soul ever could be hit and stuck. A Bleach story without ghosts, without Soul Society, without six different powers being crammed into one guy, but still unmistakably Bleach.

I present to you, Strawberry X Life.


= = =


Disclaimer: Bleach in a dark, fun place.

Strawberry X Life 1.​

PRESCRIPTION​

It was not unusual for the residents Karakura Town to see Ichigo Kurosaki walking with a purpose–the studious, well-mannered high schooler who loved his family dearly was almost always seen with stoic scowl and hawkish eyes that always looked forward. It was also not unusual for him to walk around dragging a baseball bat behind him, because when your grades were as high as Ichigo's and your hair was as bright and outstanding as Ichigo's, there was always someone who wanted to leave their teeth embedded in some sturdy hickory.

It was unusual to see him, though, walking with others towards the start of someone's no good very bad day. Mizuiro Kojima and Sado "Chad" Yasutora were at his flanks, the former texting on his phone while the latter did what he did best–be tall and intimidating as possible in case Ichigo looking half ready to kill a man didn't emphasize enough to stay the fuck out of their way.

Rounding the corner, the three High School Second Years leave the main street and walk down the bank of the river that served as the border between the West Tokyo town and the larger city to the west, Naruki. Underneath an overpass were three more Second Years. Two of them were standing over the third, who was sitting on the ground, bruised, beaten, and tied up.

The first kid was a black-haired, green eyed kid about Ichigo's size, dressed entirely in black. Black suit, black trenchcoat, even the cane was black. The second boy, wearing jeans and a white wife-beater to show off his clearly muscular physique, was bigger than all of the other boys except Chad. That couldn't be helped though–no one could be bigger than Chad.

Seeing Ichiko, Mizuiro, and Chad, the tied up boy–Keigo Asano–lifted his head up and smiled. "Ichigo!"

The kid in the wife-beater grabbed Keigo by the back of his head and shook it, shutting him up, as Ichigo stepped up and addressed the kid in black..

"Suzaku Akagi, right?" Ichigo asked the other kid.

"Yeah, and you're Ichigo Kurosaki," the other student looked at Ichigo's bat. "You're not seriously planning to use that, are you?"

"Of course I plan to, but am I going to have to?" Ichigo replied before he pointed to the other boy with him. "Your boy isn't looking for a fight, is he?"

Suzaku shook his head. "No, we all just want a resolution." He looked back at Keigo. "I want some justice, about as much as you want this piece of shit back."

"Hey watch who you're talking to!" Keigo snapped back, but went ignored.

Ichigo was somewhat impressed by the other kid's decorum. "Hard to find some decent people these days. So, what can we do to resolve this?"

"Sorry, Kurosaki, It's going to take blood to make this right."

Mizuiro was still texting, seemingly oblivious to the conversation.

Ichigo looked past the other boys at Keigo, and then back to Suzaku. "Blood? What did he do?"

Suzaku looked at the river, and then returned his attention to Ichigo. "My mother got screwed by this guy."

Ichigo paused. "Wait, what?"

Suzaku nodded, remaining completely composed despite his grip tightening on his cane. "My mother got knocked up by a Second Year High Schooler from Karakura."

"Wow, really? Pregnant and everything?"

"Yes, and she's keeping it." Suzaku shook his head and sighed bitterly. "I found the motherfucker's jacket in my Mom's room, and this was inside." He pulled out of his pocket a Student ID, Keigo's.

Ichigo lifted up the bat and tapped it against his shoulder. "Shit… That's heavy."

"The only thing that's going to make this better is blood."

Ichigo nodded. "Yeah, if it was my Mom I'd kill him too."

Chad nodded assent, while Mizuiro kept texting. Keigo, however, was mortified.

"Ichigo, wait! I didn't bang his mother!" he pleaded.

Ichigo stopped tapping the bat. "You didn't?"

Suzaku looked over. "You didn't?"

"No!" Keigo looked at Ichigo. "Come on, you know me! I can't even sling my game to middle school girls, do you really think I'd nail an older woman?!"

Ichigo mulled over that. "Yeah that's pretty much impossible." To Suzaku, he laid it bare. "Keigo's not a motherfucker."

Suzaku's composure slipped, just slightly. "Come on Kurosaki, don't just take his side like that."

"Hang on, hear me out." Ichigo leaned to the side to see past Suzaku to Keigo. "He's been so badly whipped by his older sister he's a gynophobe."

Chad nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I can't stand girls!" Keigo pleaded.

"On top of that, he's completely gay," Ichigo added.

"What?! NO!"

Ichigo looked to him. "Keigo, being gay does not change my opinion of you at all. I still think you're an asshole and a slacker who I can barely stand having around–but your sister is hot and that's why I do."

Again, Chad nodded in agreement.

"Ichigo you are the worst human being on Earth!" Keigo yelled. "You too, Chad! Fuck you!"

"Relax Keigo, seriously," Mizuiro finally spoke.

"How can I relax?! He wants to kill me!" Keigo snapped back.

"He won't because I know who the actual motherfucker is," Mizuiro said.

Both parties directed their attention to Mizuiro, who still had his eyes glued to the phone. Suzaku stepped forward, hobbling on his cane. "Who is it?" He then glowered at the phone. "Who're you texting?"

"My girlfriend," Mizuiro calmly replied. "She just told me she's pregnant."

Frozen in place, Suzaku stared at them. "What."

Chad shook his head slowly, while Ichigo sighed and rolled his eyes. Mizuiro looked back at his text message. "… And she's so excited about it she wants to fuck right now. Just sent me a pic of what she's waiting for me in." He held up his phone, showing a picture of a beautiful black-haired, green eyed woman taking a bathroom selfie in sexy lingerie. "See?"

Suzaku gaped at the phone. "… M-Mom?"

"Well that settles that," Ichigo lamented.

Keigo let out a sigh of relief. "Can I go, now?"

Suzaku took a deep breath, and when he spoke his calm voice trembled with anger. "Kurosaki, give him to me."

Ichigo looked from Mizuiro to Suzaku. "Can't, sorry."

"You do realize what you're saying, right? You're saying you want a war." As Suzaku spoke, his muscle stepped up, looking like a pit bull straining against its leash..

"Over a cougar pouncing on jailbait? If she thinks it's worth it, then she can do whatever, it's not my problem."

"It is when it's my mother and your friend, Kurosaki! That's not cool!"

Ichigo sniffed and looked aside petulantly. "I don't care about what happens in the bedrooms of consenting people. It's not Karakura's problem if your Mom's so lonely."

"My mother is married!" Suzaku yelled.

"Yeah, not for long. Your Dad overtiming at his job's pretty much ruined that whole thing, and she wants out," Mizuiro replied.

"You son of a bitch-!" Suzaku was stopped by Ichigo pointing his bat straight at his face. When his bodyguard stepped up, so did Chad, his overwhelming stature casting a long intimidating shadow over him.

Ichigo pressed the bat up against Suzaku's chin and glared darkly at him. "This isn't your side of the river. Starting trouble here makes the Guards get all jumpy." Suzaku calmed down, and Ichigo lowered the bat. "I can make this right though. You push scripts, right?"

Suzaku, entirely tense, nodded. "… Yeah. I skim off my Dad's pharmacy and sell it up and down the river."

"Been able to cross?"

Suzaku shook his head. "I've been able to sell to people coming to my side but I can't get a dealer to set foot across the bridge without a Guard threatening to put a blade through him."

Ichigo narrowed his eyes at Suzaku and slowly nodded. "I've got an in, it's not the whole town but you can have everything along the river. Guards will look the other way and no one has to bleed."

Wary of such a proposition, but hesitant to let such a business opportunity slip away, Suzaku tapped his cane on the ground. "Deal." He looked to his muscle and ordered him to untie Keigo. The moment he was free, the brown haired Second Year scampered and hid behind Ichigo before darting behind Chad, who just looked back at him, as if concerned for his chastity.

As if reading Chad's mind, Keigo glared at him. "I'm not gay, you asshole!"

Ichigo turned away from Suzaku. "That's that, then," he simply said.

Suzaku extended his hand to Ichigo. "Are we going to shake on this or wha-"

Ichigo whirled around and his bat connected solidly with Suzaku' jaw, dislodging some of his teeth and sending them into the river with a spray of blood. As the kid from across the river fell to the ground, Ichigo was on him, hitting him over and over with the bat. Suzaku's attempts at defending himself failed, as the old hickory bat broke his arms, cracked his ribs, and left him bruised all over. When his muscle lunged to stop him, Chad grabbed him by his wife beater and threw him unceremoniously into the river one-handed.

Badly beaten, but still conscious Suzaku rolled onto his back, coughing and sobbing as Ichigo stood over him, the bat pointed at his face. "My Dad runs a clinic, and he's had to pump pills out of some of my classmates and a few middle schoolers. Two of them almost died."

He pressed the bat against his throat. "You and your junk stays on your side of the river, or I'll kill you and anyone who tries to push it." Ichigo leaned down close to Suzaku as he groaned in pain. "Nod yes, or I'll kill you right now."

Suzaku nodded, and coughed blood.

"Good. Remember, if I see anyone from Naruki dealing here, you're dead. They don't even have to be your people." He kicked him in the side and walked away. "Let's get out of here."

Leaving Suzaku, the four boys headed up the slope and back onto the street, pointed towards home.

"Ichigo, what the hell was that?" Keigo asked.

"I needed to draw out the kingpin, I'm sorry," Ichigo replied.

"You needed to…" Keigo's eyes grew wide. "This was a setup!?"

"From end to end," Chad finally spoke.

Keigo's jaw unhinged momentarily. "W-wait, the whole thing? Even Mizuiro banging his Mom?!"

"Yeah," Mizuiro said.

Keigo was stunned. "You got a woman pregnant just so Ichigo could beat up a Drug Dealer?!"

"I got a beautiful woman to willfully and happily bear my child," Mizuiro corrected. "Ichigo beating Akagi up was just a bonus really." On that note, he turned at the corner and went towards the bridge they'd just been under, to cross into Naruki. "I'll see you guys at school tomorrow."

Ichigo waved. "See you Mizuiro."

"Ichigo can I call you Satan?" Keigo asked as the group, now three, continued on.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Sure. I, the Devil himself, vow to end prescription drug abuse in my town because I can't stand the sight of twelve year olds ODing on Valium."

"No, I mean pulling evil shit like this to get your way! You used Mizuiro to ruin a marriage!"

Ichigo shrugged his shoulders. "We didn't ruin anything. Think about it… Someone's skimming pills to sell on the street, so the owner of the pharmacy's going to be working himself to death to find out who. That cuts into free time, family time, and keeping your bombshell wife satisfied time."

Keigo opened his mouth to counter that point, and then closed it.

"That's what I thought."

As they reached an intersection, Chad looked down the street to his right. "Ichigo, tell Chizuru that practice is going to be at eight instead of six tomorrow."

Ichigo sighed. "Chad, get a phone."

"It'll be on my list." He patted Keigo on the shoulder. "It took guts to get through that, thanks Keigo."

Keigo became less acerbic. "Thanks Chad. At least someone is grateful for my sacrifices to this operation."

Waving, Chad went on his way, leaving Ichigo and Keigo to continue on. As they crossed the street, Keigo slipped his hands behind his head. "Was me getting jumped by those guys and held hostage part of the plan, too?"

"No that was supposed to be Mizuiro."

Keigo stared blankly ahead. "Then he swiped my Student ID so he wouldn't get his ass beat–OH FUCK YOU MIZUIRO!"

"You can call him Satan all you like," Ichigo said as they reached his street. "I'll see you around, Keigo. And thanks for everything, I owe you one."

"Yeah, whatever…" Keigo muttered as he gave him a wave and turned another corner. Now all alone, Ichigo walked the short way to his home and family business, the Kurosaki Clinic, and walked up the long wheelchair ramp to the front door.

Upon opening it and stepping in, he was kicked in the face as hard as possible without ensuring fatal injury. Thrown backward through the air, he landed on his back and laid on the ground, staring blankly at the sky. Lowering his foot and stepping out of the doorway, Isshin Kurosaki picked up the bat and stood over his son.

"Went out to start trouble, huh?"

Ichigo glared at his Father. "I don't start anything, I finish it." He then shot his leg up to kick him in the groin. "Like so!"

Squeaking, Isshin toppled over as Ichigo got back to his feet. He looked over his shoulder at his old man and snorted. "I went out and took care of that script problem, they won't be selling to anyone here anymore."

The moment Ichigo walked into the house, Isshin kicked up, and then drove his shoulder into Ichigo's back, sending him tumbling to the floor. "So you think that's the end of it?!"

Expertly, Ichigo landed on his hands and kicked back at his old man, striking him in the gut. "For his sake it'd better be!"

Isshin stumbled back, before twirling the bat in his hand and swinging it for Ichigo's face. "Nothing's over until someone's dead!"

Ichigo ducked the first swing, and then the second. "I know!" He ducked again. "That!" He weaved from another. "Is why!" He then caught the bat before it connected with the side of his head. "… I drove the point home."

He snatched the bat from his hand and jumped to knee him in the chin, dropping him onto his back."If it goes on, I'll end it permanently." Twirling the bat again, Ichigo snorted proudly. "I'm getting better at this kind of thing, Dad."

Isshin just grinned, and before Ichigo could even ask what was so funny, he was kicked across the back of his knees and brought down to them. He was then kicked in the face by two feet that knocked him onto his back. Stunned by the surprise attack, he looked up in disbelief at his younger sisters Karin and Yuzu. who each put a foot on his chest and posed like hunters over a kill.

"Get a picture, Daddy!" Yuzu cried quickly.

Karin gestured for him to get up. "Hurry up!"

Isshin was back on his feet, and holding up a digital camera. "My little girls, taking down their big brother for the first time!" He snapped the picture. "Perfect!"

Ichigo shook his head to knock out the cobwebs. "Really? Using the girls to win your battles?"

"Clean win, dirty win… The second word is the only one that matters," Isshin said. "Now get up, kiddo. Dinner's ready"

Ichigo got up and dusted himself off, all while glaring at the twin daughters. "Karin I can get, but Yuzu? You too?"

The light-brown haired twin put on a gentle smile. "Well, everyone else knows how to fight, I should practice too, shouldn't I?"

"Not on my face, though…" Ichigo muttered.

"You're just mad we beat you," Karin teased as they walked into the kitchen.

Ichigo looked over to the table and smiled. "I'm home Mom."

Seated at the table in a wheelchair, and looking a bit anxious, Masaki Kurosaki looked up and smiled brightly to Ichigo and opened her arms to him. Returning the smile, Ichigo leaned down and hugged his mother tightly. She pulled away from him, and ran her fingers through his hair as she gave him a more worried look.

Ichigo looked aside. "I'm sorry I'm late getting home." She glared at him and he grew sheepish. "I didn't get into a fight, I had to deal with a drug dealer. He's not going to be causing trouble anymore."

Masaki's gaze softened, and smiled warmly to her son before she hugged him tightly again. Ichigo pulled away from his mother and sat down next to her as Yuzu began to serve dinner.

Karin grimaced. "If you keep running around acting like the law, the Guards are going to think you're coming up."

"They don't have to worry about me ruining their game of cops are robbers. If there's a problem they aren't going to handle, I will," Ichigo replied.

Yuzu nodded in agreement. "That's right!"

Masaki laughed and clapped her hands before pulling Ichigo over and kissing him on the cheek, prompting an embarrassed yelp from him. "Mom!"

Isshin frowned a little, but masked it by stuffing his face with food. "Just don't become a problem for the Guards while doing it, okay? Heaven forbid we have to have one of them come to the door with your head on the end of a sword."

Aghast, Masaki cuddled Ichigo closer to her and glared at her husband, who immediately cowered. "I was joking!" The glare only intensified, and was joined by a pout that made it all just adorable. Now Isshin was worried about his heart. "Stop being so cute, honey!"

Yuzu giggled while Karin rolled her eyes and barely kept a smirk on her face as Ichigo looked to his mother. "Pout harder, we've almost got him now!"

Masaki quickly nodded and gave her husband the angriest puppy-dog eyes ever.

"No! You adorable monster… Urk!" Isshin groaned as he clutched his chest and collapsed out of his chair.

"Clean win or dirty win, it's the second word that matters, isn't it?" Ichigo taunted as he leaned over the table and grinned down at his Father.

"Girls! Be the instruments of my violent revenge!"

Karin was chuckling as she attempted to reply with an indifferent "Nah, that's okay."

Yuzu was outright laughing gaily and looking away from her mother. "I can't fight something that cute, I'm sorry Daddy!"

"Traitors…! Cowards…!" Isshin hissed dramatically before sitting up and joining the rest of the Kurosaki family in laughter.


A little later that evening, after dinner was done and the dishes were cleaned, Ichigo walked out of the upstairs bathroom, having just gotten out of the shower and changed into sleeping clothes. He stopped when he found his father standing by his door, cradling Masaki in his arms as she slept soundly with her face nuzzled his shoulder.

Ichigo relaxed. At least it meant he wouldn't try to attack him. "What's up?"

"I appreciate what you did with that pill pusher today," Isshin said to him. "Hell, I'm proud of you."

Ichigo slowly nodded. "But…?"

Isshin smirked at his son leaping straight to the point. "But nothing. It's just like Karin said; you're turning heads. You're doing something that hasn't been done a long time in this town, and I hope it reminds certain individuals of what this town is supposed to stand for."

Ichigo's disbelieving stare put Isshin off. "What is it?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not used to unsolicited praise without you hitting me."

"It's because my hands are full. But if Masaki wasn't sleeping so soundly, I'd be kicking your ass around the block for being late getting home and worrying her."

"You'd get tired halfway around the block and then I'd kick your ass the rest of the way back," Ichigo shot back, before a pounding on the door made both Kurosaki men jump. They looked down the stairs, and could hear voices from outside.

"Yo, Doctor Kurosaki! Open up!" a young man shouted.

Ichigo immediately recognized the voice. "That's Gin, one of the third years from my school."

"Doc, hurry! He's bleeding out, here!" Gin called out.

Isshin turned towards his bedroom. "I'll put Masaki to bed, get down there and get them into the clinic."

Nodding quickly, Ichigo stormed down the stairs as Karin and Yuzu peered out their bedroom to see what the commotion was about. Reaching the front door, he opened it to find Gin and another third year, whom Ichigo recognized as Katsu. Katsu's gray school uniform looked almost dyed completely red from the massive amount of blood leaking from the cuts all over his body. Gin himself wasn't looking so good despite being able to walk, his face badly bruised and bloodied, and his school uniform stained and covered in cuts.

The silver-haired and permed Gin dragged his long, dark-haired friend up to the doorway, and looked up pleadingly at him. "Kurosaki… Help us, man."

Ichigo's eyes grew wide, the blood briefly evoking a deep, terrifying trauma buried deep in his memories. "What the Hell is this?"

Strawberry X Life
…Ch. 1 / End

 

[Image]

Without her voice and in a wheelchair. Probably a head injury to go with paralysis. My guess saved Ichigo from being hit by a car.

 

[frozenchicken]

Oh, this is great. Especially the subtle stuff. Favourite moments:

Ichigo shrugged his shoulders. "We didn't ruin anything. Think about it… Someone's skimming pills to sell on the street, so the owner of the pharmacy's going to be working himself to death to find out who. That cuts into free time, family time, and keeping your bombshell wife satisfied time."

Click to shrink...

Up until this point it was merely a 'brilliant scheme' on the IC side. It was this detail that pushed the whole thing into being a brilliant piece of writing, if you follow.

The silver-haired and permed Gin dragged his long, dark-haired friend

Click to shrink...

Heh. Best part is that this is either a major plot alteration, a cameo or a crossover.

 

[CV12Hornet]

Ero-Sennin is doing Bleach? Sign me up!

Also, please revisit Sickly Sweet sometime.

 

[Ridiculously Average Guy]

this looks good

 

[Ars Poetica]

...Gin has a perm.

 

[Ravraxas]

I'll be whatching this with interest.

...Gin has a perm.

[snip]

Click to shrink...

That's not Ichimaru Gin, but Sakata Gintoki from Gintama. His friend seems to be Katsura Koutaro from the same series.

 

[Ridiculously Average Guy]

Considering how insane Mizuro is, combined with his propensity for bomb making, in a shinigami-less world how overpowered is he?

 

[The Sandman]

Considering how insane Mizuro is, combined with his propensity for bomb making, in a shinigami-less world how overpowered is he?

Click to shrink...

In the time it took you to post this, he satisfied your mom in ways she's never experienced from any other man. Then he did it again, because he could.

That's how overpowered he is.

 

[Ridiculously Average Guy]

In the time it took you to post this, he satisfied your mom in ways she's never experienced from any other man. Then he did it again, because he could.

That's how overpowered he is.

Click to shrink...

He's basically the Chinese Electric Batman of Bleach.

 

[FourthWall]

Well this is new.

Change the names and you've got yourself the start of some solid fiction.

 

[FourthWall]

Well this is new.

Change the names and you've got yourself the start of some solid fiction.

 

[The Ero-Sennin]

Well this is new.

Change the names and you've got yourself the start of some solid fiction.

Click to shrink...

No. I don't.

Preview Time:


Sacrilegious as it is to invoke the term, when describing Rukia Kuchiki YOLO is generally the first thing that came to mind about her. Well, that and IDGAF.

To anyone unfamiliar with the latter term, I present to you the following:

"Whole fucking hood's gone to shit," Reiichi Oshima, a tall, blonde afroed delinquent grumbled aloud to several of his friends in an alleyway not too far from Karakura High School–from which they were all suspended from for various offenses including drug dealing, stealing, and attempting to breathe Ichigo Kurosaki's fists.

"What happened last night?" asked one of Reiichi's friends–a short, dumb-looking guy with already thinning black hair named Yasu.

"Ichigo Kurosaki kicked in The Pin's shit and his gang got cut up by a crazy chick with a bunny mask. We've been cut off," Reiichi grimly revealed.

The other two, a tall and skinny kid named Kishibe and a forgettably unremarkable dude named Yoshi recoiled with Yasu.

"God damn it, what's his problem?! He's always fucking with us!" Kishibe yelled.

"Let's kick his ass!" Yoshi demanded.

Yasu then waved his hands. "Whoa, hey! We're still suspended, if we show up then we'll get expelled for sure, or they'll call the guard on us!"

Reiichi chuckled, stopping the shouting match. "Don't worry about that, I got someone inside who's just as pissed off as I am. He said he'd leave the parking lot door unlocked for us to sneak in and jump Kurosaki when he least expects us."

"In the middle of class?" Kishibe asked.

"Yeah, History class when his crew isn't with him," Reiichi decisively declared. "He won't see us coming!"

The other three broke into cheers, before something stirred in the pile of garbage bags and cans behind them, next to the back door of a nightclub.

"It's too early for this shit… shut the fuck up."

They turned around to see a young woman, Rukia Kuchiki, emerge from the trash pile clutching a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels like she was about to beat someone with it. She was four feet and eight inches of pure fuck you, but she didn't look it at the moment. Her dark hair was messed up from passing out drunk in the alley the night before, and her stained white dress almost stuck to her slim figure. What promised unstoppable violence was the ominous way her purple eyes shone in the little bit of light that filtered through the end of the alley.

As the four young men gawked, her lips curled into a violent sneer, though whether this was because she was mad or angry at her hangover was anyone's guess.

"You're too fucking loud," she uttered, trying to rub her hair back in place.

"Mind your own business," Reiichi growled at the rude woman. "You're lucky we didn't find your blacked out ass in the trash, would've fucked you up and posted the videos on Redtube." He waved her off. "Get the fuck out of here."

"Ehhhhh?" she growled, causing a small tremor of fear to shoot through the other five. "Do you really want to die, you piece of shit?"

"Who are you calling a piece of shit?!" Reiichi yelled at her.

"You, you loud piece of shit." She eyed him carefully. "What are you, a high schooler? Yeah, I'm definitely going to beat the shit out of you if you don't fuck off."

"B-Boss, maybe we should apologize and leave." Yasu asked. As evident by his constant questioning, he had a sense about these things, which was how they had survived the Guard by staying low key enough to not warrant a thrashing beyond Ichigo.

"You think I'm going to run from some hungover party slut? Reiichi snapped, before he turned to face the woman again. "So what if I don't?"

Her answer came in the form of a trash can flying straight for his head.

"What the hell?" Yasu exclaimed as they all scrambled out of the way. "How could she generate that much strength in such a small frame?"

Rukia took several gulps from her bottle of Jack, and belched as the alcohol's burn shocked her fully awake. "I really can't stand High Schoolers. Especially you delinquents who think you're full of shit."

"Why you shitty bitch! When I'm done with you I'm going to-!" Reiichi yelled before he caught a haymaker to the face that sent him flipping end over end out of the alleyway and into dreamland.

"Do what now?" she asked, causing the other three to stand still in terror.

"Y-you!" Yoshi grew balls and took a swing at the assailant, only to eat a counter left to the chin and drop like a sack of shit to the pavement out cold.

"You have the jaw of a bitch," she sneered down at him before turning to the others. "Ahhh? What's wrong what's wrong? Afraid now are you?"

Kishibe charged straight for her, yelling, and it was over in an instant. Rukia snapped a kick into him, before snapping several more kicks into his chest, stomach, neck, and side before she shot forward, spun, and slammed a backfist into his face. She took another drink from her bottle, draining it.

"What a bunch of shits. Talk all that good shit and the moment a bigger dog shows up they wet their pants and die," she growled as Yasu stood there his knees shaking violently as he came close to pissing himself. Looking from him to the bottle, she tossed it into the air to grab it by the neck inverted, and threw it at his face, shattering it and dropping him on the ground unconscious.

She shuffled back to her impromptu bed and fishing around the trash for something. "Ah, here it is. Brother would kill me if I lost it." She pulled out a katana with an ornate white handle tucked inside it's ivory sheath and give the whole thing a twirl before snagging it just under the tsuba and holding it at her right side.

"Chappy-chan loves ya lots!" a cheery voice announced, which caused her to reach into her left pocket and pull out a cell phone.

"Yeah?!" she snapped into the line, not bothering to ask who it was.

"Rukia," a deep male voice, as cold as the grave, came from the phone and sent shivers down her spine.

"Uh, hey bro," Rukia said, her angry bravdo gone.

"You didn't come home last night," her brother noted with an irritated undertone.

"S-so? I'm an adult now, I can take care of myself," Rukia said after a second to fight down her instinctive fear.

"By getting blacked out drunk and picking fights with the other patrons?" he sounded more upset that she lowered herself to doing such things than worrying about her safety.

"I don't want to hear that from Mr. 500 and 0 in bar fights. Besides, I don't like being stuck at home for days on end anyways."

"Then do as I told you and go work under Division 13," he said, sighing a little. "Ukitake is sick right now and they need dependable workers right now. Be grateful Oyabun let you have that sword despite not being in the Guard officially."

"And I am, really." Rukia sweated a little, as her brother always reminded her of owing a debt to the Big Boss of the Guard for letting her carry a blade like hers. "But I'm not sure it'd be the right fit for me you know? Why can't I work under you?"

"You know the answer as much as I do. Let's not waste time arguing about this. Just remember to check in every now and then and I won't haul you home all right?"

"I got it yo," Rukia retorted, before laughing a bit. "Besides, I heard some juicy gossip last night and I got some work to do tonight."

She walked out of the alley and into the full light, revealing the bloodstains across her dress..

"Just be careful ok? After Hisana, I don't want you to be lost as well alright?" The line went dead after that bit, which lead Rukia to hanging up.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be just fine." Rukia touched one of the bloodstains.

​

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Strawberry X Life 2.​

TORNADO​

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= = =​

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You ain't no operator, so who the fuck are you then?​

 

[CrossyCross]

I'm just confused, really...

 

[King Arthur]

Woohoo, an update. Yay.

 

[Ridiculously Average Guy]

I'm curious as to how Jiraiya will handle Bleach's plotkai.

Martial arts? Named Swords? Nanomachines, son?