Nothing has happened in a while, now.
I don't sense anything, not with hearing, taste, blindsense, even proprioception - they've all abandoned me. I'm just... here. I'm imagining 'here' as a void, but can't decide whether I'd like it to be a black void or a white void. I temporarily amused myself by trying to come up with the silliest coloring of void, before deciding that a flannel void was the winner of that little contest, and now I'm just back to being bored. I guess I'll do another recap:
So, I remember being a human - though I've yet to verify that was real - but then I was a mushroom. I'd been a mushroom for a while before realizing it, its like my brain was recording but not thinking, though not quite since I don't actually have a brain with which to do those things. Whatever my equivalent is, I think I've gotten better at using it since I'm less scatterbrained and can actually follow a single train of thought without constantly getting distracted. I assume its because I've gotten more used to this form, but it could be related to age or something. Undercutting that and getting back to the recap, normally in fiction this type of thing happens when the person dies, but I don't recall that. Maybe it was really fast, or so traumatic I blocked it out? Or, you know, the schizophrenic mushroom hypothesis. I live on the back of a Paras that is unknowingly in a death cult, unable to communicate with the little guy I've named Taylor as a super clever and not at all lame reference to Worm. He's mostly done a bunch of boring cult stuff - though to be fair I've just released spores when appropriate, not exactly the sort of thing Hollywood'd make a summer blockbuster about - but then he got a new task as a missionary.
See, a bunch of people started going to the Safari Zone we live in suddenly (maybe there's a sale?) and Taylor was given the task of being caught by a trainer to spread the word and spores of The Almighty One across the land. This was fine by me, as there was a slightly higher chance to communicate with a psychic and explain what might have happened to me. Taylor started by just leaping out of the undergrowth and demanding to be caught, which naturally led to rocks. So many rocks. Like they were trying to stone his little buggy body to death. He changed tactics after that, instead attacking wild Pokémon to show how useful he would be to trainers, which worked out, with a pokéball flying from outside my "seeing" range and capturing us. I was disappointed I didn't have the chance to show off the fact that I'd figured out how to use Powder, but whatever.
Huh. That recap killed less time than the other dozen I've done in here, did I forget something? I guess I wouldn't know, seeing as I've forgotten it, but that only makes it more troubling. I guess I could talk about Powder for a while? Okay, so I basically just release all my spores at once and if there's any flames a fuel-air explosion occurs when the two meet. Of course, not having wings to blow the cloud means the fuel-air explosion is centered on my very flammable body, but if there's a conventient gust of wind or something it's usable. It does-
"GO PARAS!" Oh thank fuck, we're out of the void. Hello air, I missed you on my... skin? Flesh? Whatever I have. Oh look there's three other Parases here, all forming a semicircle around a pair of legs at the edge of my sensory range. "GO PARAS" the voice yells again, definitely female, as a ball hits the ground nearby and brings our gang up to five. I've seen this meme, and its definitely not appropriate if that girl is as young as her voice sounds. As she walks closer and confirms that she is a preteen, I realize that some background noise I hadn't bothered to mention was actually a conversation happening outside my range. "Hello," Legs crouches down near us "I was hoping to chat with you guys for a bit, but Orion is busy so its gonna be a bit one-sided for now. Uh, so, I'm on a Pokémon journey and thought a Parasect would be a good fit for my team, do any of you want to join me? It's okay if you don't, I can release you back into the safari or trade you to somebody who just wants a companion instead if you dislike battling but don't want to go back or whatever. Now, I'll only be taking one of you, so while we wait for the translator think about what you want, and if what you want is to get stronger and be a part of the next Pokémon League Champion's team why I should pick you over the others." She said 'a bit' twice in close succession, which bothered me more than it should have. She aught to vary her phrases more.
"I wanna go home" one Paras whines immediately, apparently not understanding the part about the translator. He sounds really scared.
"I smell something tasty, do you have any food? Give your food to The Lifegiver to apologize for kidnapping Her children!" a second one orders. I recognise her, though I never bothered to name the non-Taylor ones.
"What's a Parasect?" a third whispers to Taylor. Before he says anything, Legs starts speaking again.
"Guys, guys, I can't understand you. My sister's Starmie, Orion, will be over here to translate soon but you'll have to wait until then to tell me anything."
I tune in to the background noise/other conversation that I now assume is the sister and hear a Tauros bellow "I would never take orders from a female" followed by some misogynistic name-calling I don't feel like repeating. He's cut off near the end by the sound of a pokéball.
"Oh for seven" An older girls voice proclaims. "What about you?"
"Okay look, I'm not a Tauros, my name is Brett and I'm a human. I don't know how this happened, but you need to help me." What.
"Ugh, one of these. Look, reincarnation happens, don't be such a baby about it. You can join me and I'll use some of the money we make battling to buy you tastier food than you'd get living here, or I can stick you back in the Safari zone if you don't want to. If you really hate being a Tauros, I can sell you to a pokechow plant with that last guy and maybe you'll get reincarnated as something better next time." WHAT.
AN: Does anybody know how to delete a poll?[/hr]
