Damn thing wouldn't leave my head. Should I play this straight or go full crack?
I honestly...
I honestly...
Ahh! It's...(Worm/Dynasty Warriors)
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Ahh! It's Lu Bu!
JayF
The Idol Producer
Damn thing wouldn't leave my head. Should I play this straight or go full crack?
I honestly have a hard time thinking of how to go about continuing this.
Crossposted on SB.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Ahh! it's....
Chapter 1-Ahh!! It's Lu Bu!
Taylor Hebert was a teenage white girl, too tall, gangly, awkward and the target of bullies and got stuffed into a locker full of biological waste and bugs.
She was not a six feet ten mountain of a woman who spoke only in a low growl that rumbled across the room and a roar that sent people flying. Her indoor voice appeared to have disappeared, along with her ability to think through a lot of things but she gained some eyebrows that resembled two dark caterpillars the size of the baguettes. Taylor decided she like the eyebrows and stopped thinking too hard how they appeared. Thinking things were now hard.
So much that she grabbed Madison from class and told her,"You work for me now." Just so she can do the thinking. She was small and sneaky, hiding behind people who can punch back. That made her one of those smart people who can think for her.
Actually, more like she growled at her and made the smaller girl cry in fear. Taylor didn't know why the petite girl was crying or the meaning of petite. She even made her a cap. Smart thinking type people loved caps! Maybe she needs one of those big feathered fans so she can shoot lasers and other bright stuff from it. That would cheer her up!
It would also probably help to prevent her new strategist from trying to run away. Taylor kicked a beer bottle into the wall next to the crawling Madison, creating another hole in the wall of the abandoned warehouse she was holed up in. That hole fit nicely next to the five other holes she had created to prevent Madison from escaping from her duties of thinking of what to do next. This hole however wasn't preceded by bolts of lighting like the first two or gouts of flame like the third and fourth and Taylor frowned. Nevermind, after the stubborn smart girl starts doing her job, she can ask her how to create them.
"Chen Gong! Stop trying to run away! I'm doing your job of thinking what to do because you're not doing your job!"
"I'm not even Asian you freak! I wanna go home!" Her strategist Madison Gong started crying again about never seeing her family again. Taylor snorted in response to the smaller girls babbling.
Why would anyone want to see their family? Why, the only reason she didn't head home was because there was a voice in her head telling her it's wrong to want to skewer Dad with a polearm the size of a utility pole! How absu..abus...some big word that's stupid.
Stupid voice. It was yelling at her that it was wrong to go into that Asian run martial arts shop to grab that peacock headdress, or the cool black armor with the demon face on it. It also whined after she beat up that bearded guy in the blue tin suit and took his halberd. That blue armor of his made her angry, so she's feeling double happy when beating him into paste.
If she wasn't meant to take the halberd and motorbike, why did it grow bigger and burst into flame at the bladed part when she swung the weapon around? Why else would the motorbike turn into a lava red horse with a burning mane after she rode it? Why else would the Asian couple running the shop be Australian and keep talking about Roos and Poo?
Australians who are Asian are disgusting.
Silly voice. it even told her that eating the meat bun floating in the air was a bad idea! How else do meat buns appear other than breaking crates and people? How else would she have healed from all those people poking her and shooting at her?
Chen Madison was now sniffling in a corner, curled up into a ball. Taylor rolled her eyes and grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and stalked towards the exit.
"Come, Gongtai. We're going to get you one of those feathered fans you like so much!"
"Pick a name and stick to it! And I'm allergic to feathers!" The younger girl can't stop screaming. Taylor remembered that those types of smart people didn't like yelling very much. On the other hand, she was finally telling him what to do after finally doing her job of thinking for him.
Progress!
////////////////////////
Oni Lee was dead on the inside. That's what he believed and told the world. But the sight of this new mountain woman cape in black Chinese armor and wielding a Chinese style halberd that can shoot bursts of air, lighting bolts and fireballs while generating force fields was making him reconsider that. The demonic looking horse with a mane made of fucking fire that allowed her to charge through the dragon's flames while pummeling him didn't help either.
Awe and fear. Two emotions that even Lung had a hard time conjuring from him was now readily available and he was going to share it to everyone. The rest of the ABB weren't feeling that much different. All of them had heard of the stories. No one Asian had not heard of those tales that so stuck in their collective cultural memories.
Among horses- 赤兎. Fuck the whites and their barbarian language of calling that horse a red bunny.
Among men, well.
Even in the darkest of days, Oni Lee had never felt his voice quiver. It sure was shaking now.
" It's Lu Bu!"
I honestly have a hard time thinking of how to go about continuing this.
Crossposted on SB.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Ahh! it's....
Chapter 1-Ahh!! It's Lu Bu!
Taylor Hebert was a teenage white girl, too tall, gangly, awkward and the target of bullies and got stuffed into a locker full of biological waste and bugs.
She was not a six feet ten mountain of a woman who spoke only in a low growl that rumbled across the room and a roar that sent people flying. Her indoor voice appeared to have disappeared, along with her ability to think through a lot of things but she gained some eyebrows that resembled two dark caterpillars the size of the baguettes. Taylor decided she like the eyebrows and stopped thinking too hard how they appeared. Thinking things were now hard.
So much that she grabbed Madison from class and told her,"You work for me now." Just so she can do the thinking. She was small and sneaky, hiding behind people who can punch back. That made her one of those smart people who can think for her.
Actually, more like she growled at her and made the smaller girl cry in fear. Taylor didn't know why the petite girl was crying or the meaning of petite. She even made her a cap. Smart thinking type people loved caps! Maybe she needs one of those big feathered fans so she can shoot lasers and other bright stuff from it. That would cheer her up!
It would also probably help to prevent her new strategist from trying to run away. Taylor kicked a beer bottle into the wall next to the crawling Madison, creating another hole in the wall of the abandoned warehouse she was holed up in. That hole fit nicely next to the five other holes she had created to prevent Madison from escaping from her duties of thinking of what to do next. This hole however wasn't preceded by bolts of lighting like the first two or gouts of flame like the third and fourth and Taylor frowned. Nevermind, after the stubborn smart girl starts doing her job, she can ask her how to create them.
"Chen Gong! Stop trying to run away! I'm doing your job of thinking what to do because you're not doing your job!"
"I'm not even Asian you freak! I wanna go home!" Her strategist Madison Gong started crying again about never seeing her family again. Taylor snorted in response to the smaller girls babbling.
Why would anyone want to see their family? Why, the only reason she didn't head home was because there was a voice in her head telling her it's wrong to want to skewer Dad with a polearm the size of a utility pole! How absu..abus...some big word that's stupid.
Stupid voice. It was yelling at her that it was wrong to go into that Asian run martial arts shop to grab that peacock headdress, or the cool black armor with the demon face on it. It also whined after she beat up that bearded guy in the blue tin suit and took his halberd. That blue armor of his made her angry, so she's feeling double happy when beating him into paste.
If she wasn't meant to take the halberd and motorbike, why did it grow bigger and burst into flame at the bladed part when she swung the weapon around? Why else would the motorbike turn into a lava red horse with a burning mane after she rode it? Why else would the Asian couple running the shop be Australian and keep talking about Roos and Poo?
Australians who are Asian are disgusting.
Silly voice. it even told her that eating the meat bun floating in the air was a bad idea! How else do meat buns appear other than breaking crates and people? How else would she have healed from all those people poking her and shooting at her?
Chen Madison was now sniffling in a corner, curled up into a ball. Taylor rolled her eyes and grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and stalked towards the exit.
"Come, Gongtai. We're going to get you one of those feathered fans you like so much!"
"Pick a name and stick to it! And I'm allergic to feathers!" The younger girl can't stop screaming. Taylor remembered that those types of smart people didn't like yelling very much. On the other hand, she was finally telling him what to do after finally doing her job of thinking for him.
Progress!
////////////////////////
Oni Lee was dead on the inside. That's what he believed and told the world. But the sight of this new mountain woman cape in black Chinese armor and wielding a Chinese style halberd that can shoot bursts of air, lighting bolts and fireballs while generating force fields was making him reconsider that. The demonic looking horse with a mane made of fucking fire that allowed her to charge through the dragon's flames while pummeling him didn't help either.
Awe and fear. Two emotions that even Lung had a hard time conjuring from him was now readily available and he was going to share it to everyone. The rest of the ABB weren't feeling that much different. All of them had heard of the stories. No one Asian had not heard of those tales that so stuck in their collective cultural memories.
Among horses- 赤兎. Fuck the whites and their barbarian language of calling that horse a red bunny.
Among men, well.
Even in the darkest of days, Oni Lee had never felt his voice quiver. It sure was shaking now.
" It's Lu Bu!"
Last edited:
Ahh! It's Advisors!
JayF
The Idol Producer
'm having way too much fun with this
Ahh! it's....Advisors.
Chapter 2. (Snip)
Madison Clements-nee Chen Gong, style Gongtai or whatever her boss felt like naming her at the moment looked into a mirror as she adjusted her newly acquired pencil thin moustache. It just didn't feel right not having the three strands of facial hair to go with the rectangular cap that had a gem encrusted in the middle of it and those nice purple robes she had obtained from the ABB's stash.
Her new employer was true to her word, if nothing else. She was still allergic to feathers, and apparently the voice in the head of her boss felt it not suitable for her. So he smashed open a display of ancient Chinese bamboo scrolls that were salvaged from Japan's national archives which was on loan at the local museuem. She knew they were Chinese scrolls because she can read ancient Chinese now when before she believed Sophia when the track star told her Fucking and Cooking were actual cities in China.
She overheard one of the newly subdued ABB lackeys snicker under his breath that she looked like a particularly pint sized geezer. The newly minted chief advisor of the Lu Army swung the bamboo scroll at him to send him flying into the air, before following up with several faceless light projections that resembled sword wielding soldiers from the Terracotta Armies.
Well, not all of them. Some of the projections were using polearms from the late Jin period, so they'd be historically inaccurate. And the naginatas were Japanese.
"肏你祖宗十八代" Madison decided she liked this swear word a hell lot. Eighteen generations of fucks given in one sentence. Brilliant!
The teen strategist noted dully she apparently now has super powers in addition to her knowledge gained. Some kind of Master, Brute and Blaster combo apparently. Also, she's still considered a kidnap victim who has a worried family.
Meh, it all pales to the Might! of her brilliant Strategies! She Madison Chen will be the one to unify the land with her lord! And they will praise her as the most brilliant strategist forever!
"Ooh, getting cocky already, aren't we Miss Chen Clements? Maybe if you have some powers other than throwing a paperweight around our lady lord will appreciate you more?"
The teen strategist turned to glare at their latest recruit with the catty attitude, and also a distinct threat to her position.
"Tattletale. How's our favourite turncoat doing this morning? Aren't you afraid your old boss and friends are gunning for you?"
"I've got a plan." Her counterpart sniffed easily.
The blond villain smirked with the smugness of a thousand know-it-alls. She had approached Taylor when the monster cape tagged Lung like a prized tuna after kicking his ass up and down the docks twenty times. The bigger the dragon, the harder that spear of hers hit and the bigger the...whatever the flash of dark purple light that trailed was. Taylor looked at the white and green flowing coat she wore over her purple body suit, that white feathered fan and growled at Madison.
"See Gongtai! This is how a proper strategist is supposed to look!"
Taylor, or Lu Bu as her new minions called her was scary. And Madison also felt shame at being admonished by her boss cum kidnapper.
The door burst open and both aspiring advisors bowed waist deep to Taylor who stomped into the hall.
" Wolong! Prepare your Uddersiders for the plan you mentioned. Madison, follow me! We're going to save Diao Chan from Dong Zhuo's hovel of a fort! Does he think dressing up as a foreign thin woman in black clothes can trick me! I can smell that pig anywhere!"
The mountainous cape strode out followed by Madison before pausing and turned to the gathered ABB.
" Get Lung! I want to rest Red Hare today and I need a ride!"
Ahh! it's....Advisors.
Chapter 2. (Snip)
Madison Clements-nee Chen Gong, style Gongtai or whatever her boss felt like naming her at the moment looked into a mirror as she adjusted her newly acquired pencil thin moustache. It just didn't feel right not having the three strands of facial hair to go with the rectangular cap that had a gem encrusted in the middle of it and those nice purple robes she had obtained from the ABB's stash.
Her new employer was true to her word, if nothing else. She was still allergic to feathers, and apparently the voice in the head of her boss felt it not suitable for her. So he smashed open a display of ancient Chinese bamboo scrolls that were salvaged from Japan's national archives which was on loan at the local museuem. She knew they were Chinese scrolls because she can read ancient Chinese now when before she believed Sophia when the track star told her Fucking and Cooking were actual cities in China.
She overheard one of the newly subdued ABB lackeys snicker under his breath that she looked like a particularly pint sized geezer. The newly minted chief advisor of the Lu Army swung the bamboo scroll at him to send him flying into the air, before following up with several faceless light projections that resembled sword wielding soldiers from the Terracotta Armies.
Well, not all of them. Some of the projections were using polearms from the late Jin period, so they'd be historically inaccurate. And the naginatas were Japanese.
"肏你祖宗十八代" Madison decided she liked this swear word a hell lot. Eighteen generations of fucks given in one sentence. Brilliant!
The teen strategist noted dully she apparently now has super powers in addition to her knowledge gained. Some kind of Master, Brute and Blaster combo apparently. Also, she's still considered a kidnap victim who has a worried family.
Meh, it all pales to the Might! of her brilliant Strategies! She Madison Chen will be the one to unify the land with her lord! And they will praise her as the most brilliant strategist forever!
"Ooh, getting cocky already, aren't we Miss Chen Clements? Maybe if you have some powers other than throwing a paperweight around our lady lord will appreciate you more?"
The teen strategist turned to glare at their latest recruit with the catty attitude, and also a distinct threat to her position.
"Tattletale. How's our favourite turncoat doing this morning? Aren't you afraid your old boss and friends are gunning for you?"
"I've got a plan." Her counterpart sniffed easily.
The blond villain smirked with the smugness of a thousand know-it-alls. She had approached Taylor when the monster cape tagged Lung like a prized tuna after kicking his ass up and down the docks twenty times. The bigger the dragon, the harder that spear of hers hit and the bigger the...whatever the flash of dark purple light that trailed was. Taylor looked at the white and green flowing coat she wore over her purple body suit, that white feathered fan and growled at Madison.
"See Gongtai! This is how a proper strategist is supposed to look!"
Taylor, or Lu Bu as her new minions called her was scary. And Madison also felt shame at being admonished by her boss cum kidnapper.
The door burst open and both aspiring advisors bowed waist deep to Taylor who stomped into the hall.
" Wolong! Prepare your Uddersiders for the plan you mentioned. Madison, follow me! We're going to save Diao Chan from Dong Zhuo's hovel of a fort! Does he think dressing up as a foreign thin woman in black clothes can trick me! I can smell that pig anywhere!"
The mountainous cape strode out followed by Madison before pausing and turned to the gathered ABB.
" Get Lung! I want to rest Red Hare today and I need a ride!"
- Location
- Canada
..I-Is she talking about riding Lung?
- Location
- Moscow, Russia
I guess...
Damn...
- Location
- Red Blood on Golden Shield
Lets see how Lu Bu! Taylor Kicks everybody's ass!!
Ahh! It's...Time for School
JayF
The Idol Producer
A/N: Not so much humor in this chapter.
Ahh! It's… (Worm/Dynasty Warriors)
Chapter 3
Ahh! It's…Time for School.
Sophia Hess looked up at the sky and watched as karma prepared to give her a nice chomp on her shapely ass. The athletic girl was rather proud of it for it was the product of several years of hard fighting and training and she'd prefer not to have a chunk of it bitten off.
The day had started normal enough, as normal as a day can go in this crazy city that was getting crazier by the day since Hebert got shoved into the locker for a family reunion. A worm stuffed into a metal box filled with her relatives and they're generous enough to provide refreshments! It almost brought a genuine smile on her face rather than the scowl and sneer she usually spots with people other than Emma.
Emma on the other hand was getting stir crazy and it's not hard to see why. An earthworm was thrown into the box and the fucking Jormugand serpent broke out of it in a gigantic ball of fire and reduced the hallway into a burnt crater.
That roar when she burst out of the locker during that very public trigger. Even if you didn't see it, you sure as hell heard it all throughout BB.
So now Emma was getting everyone she could cajole and blackmail into placing wooden fences along every hallway she can think off. Like she was planning to herd someone or something. She can tell it wasn't to herd someone into a trap. No, it was a delaying action meant to stall for time rather than try to stop the unstoppable.
The probationary Ward knew of course who the fuck she pissed off that she'd get on the bad side of the entire Winslow staff by barricading the school. The gangs were surprisingly willing to go along. The E88 and the Merchants moved to form their own strongholds in corners of the school while the ABB had scattered and were collectively truant from the school. The news wasn't out yet, but Sophia was well aware that Taylor fucking Hebert had whacked Lung. They were picking up pieces of him with cranes all night and morning after the new cape tangled with the metal dragon along the docks.
"So why did Emma choose to believe fucking Tattletale of all people?" Sophia muttered under her breath while Emma sat next to her desk poring over maps of the school grounds while yelling direction into her phone to her lackeys.
The annoying blonde villain had approached Emma with a wardrobe change and a feathered fan as her new accessory. Her new cape name of Wolong was almost a deal breaker for the redhead who was immensely triggered by the Asian flair of the cape's new look. But she had believed the newly Asian cape regardless and only said to Sophia something which made her wander if Tattletale had obtained a Master power.
"Master Zhuge Liang is always correct." Considering that Emma had developed a hatred for all things east of the Balkans that would make Kaiser tell her to tone it down, it almost made Sophia intervene.
Almost being the operative word. Sophia Hess thinks something bigger was up and she was willing to let the redhead take the bait.
And now, just in time for lunch Karma had arrived ready to grab a bite and she was the main course after the entre that was Emma.
Karma of course came in the form of the now seven feet Taylor Hebert riding a giant metal dragon with six wings, four arms and four pairs of eyes covered in fire that both blotted out and replaced the sun. Using that empowered polearm of hers to steer Lung by slicing of whatever parts of Lung that attempted to throw her off his back and yanking the pyrokinetic however was fun to see.
"Quit mumbling and…what's that stupid voice?…Pron…pronounce your words! And speak Chinese! I don't under..un…know what you're saying!"
Hebert was somehow louder than Lung when she yelled it out in English.
The massive dragon riding cape than started yanking the lengthy neck of her ride in an effort to get Lung to land. Sophia decided it was time to take drastic action. Looking around, the off disguise ward made sure they were alone before tuning to her friend.
"Emma."
"Yes?"
"You're on your own. I'm out."
Sophia ignored the screams of outrage as she phased through the walls and began legging it out of the school. A good predator knows when there's a new apex predator in the food chain and she's a piranha to Taylor Hebert's mutated lungfish from a Chinese trawler.
////////////////////////////////////////
Grue for the tenth time muttered to whoever would listen that he hated the plan. Tattletale had some very stupid ideas from time to time when that power of hers goes wrong in a bad way, but telling him that he needed to stand still holding a burning torch in a hallway full of E88 skinheads for five seconds was a new record.
Wolong, as she's now known, had assured him in a relaxed drawl that made her sound like she was on tranquilizers that her plan will always succeed.
"The fire attack will catch all the linked barriers I have arranged to be constructed in that school. It will be a flawless victory." The blond had made that claim while fanning herself languidly with that fan of hers. She didn't bother to explain how she can light up an entire school with just one torch, but she simply laughed softly while giving her that smug look she's very good at.
He didn't believe her, but the money she offered was very good.
Stand still with a burning torch in a hallway full of neo Nazis while not using his powers was not something he had in mind. On the other hand, he was allowed to soften up and stun the crowd before he played statute in a crowd that already wanted to kill him on bigoted principal alone.
Grue was about to quit after he counted to five and abandon the mission when the world caught on fire.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Emma Barnes stalked down the burning, smoke filled halls of Winslow, following a pre-set path in case of an emergency. The plan by Master Zhuge Liang was working so well, with Hebert being herded to dead end after dead end by the fences erected hastily to block her path and direct her. As predicted, the monstrous cape avoided breaking the fences despite how fragile they are compared to some of the things she's already smashed, like Lung for an instance.
This allowed swarms of E88 and Merchants to swarm Taylor and of course that no good traitor Madison. Where did all those numbers come from and how did they fit into the classrooms and hallways where they emerged from puzzled her, but it was not her problem. Even the fact that they looked very similar with only a few changes in variety didn't faze her much. The ABB looked the same way to her anyway.
The redhead seethed at her former minion's betrayal and quick embrace of the new ABB. Madison was privileged enough to know of that incident in the alley and she mocked her with her Fu Manchu get up. But revenge will have to wait when her escape was cut off by the school suddenly catching fire. The parts that didn't thanks to a still functioning sprinkler system, found themselves flooded.
Localised floods triggered by sprinklers when they barely have enough water to provide for a bag of the Merchant's weed? Taylor's powers were bullshit.
"Dong Zhuo you pig! Where did you hide Diao Chan! Tell me before I stick you like the swine you are!"
Oh fuck me! Wolong's plans led right to the principal's office. Emma froze on the spot as her former bestie's eyes met her own. The massive cape dropped Principal Blackwell from the chokehold she held her in, allowing the gasping woman to scramble away. Standing on the right was her former partner in crime Madison, her posture subservient and keeping a good three feet away from Taylor.
"Diao Chan…" The giant cape rumbled before she made her way almost hesitantly towards Emma before Madison moved between the two.
"Milady! Please allow me to speak with Lady Diao Chan. She must be so alarmed at your presence to rescue her." Not waiting for Taylor's approval, the budding strategist pulled Emma into a huddle.
Emma noticed that Madison was a lot stronger than before when the smaller girl pulled her into the huddle, but she didn't become what she was by being intimidated by pure physical strength. The redhead hissed out her first question.
"Madison, what the fuck's wrong with you. Did Hebert's new slant eye friends run such a train over you that you went native?"
"Emma. I know of your problems with the ABB and the nasty shit they do." Emma can barely believe the calm tone taken by the petite girl. It's the fucking human trafficking ABB!
"But I'm going to level with you. It's not about the ABB and the nasty shit they do. Right now, it's all about Taylor Hebert who apparently triggered as some crazy cape with powers that among other things allow her to produce fucking floating meat buns that can fix your shit right up better than Panacea. "
"All those gangers that look like the Attack of the Clones? They're some kind of fucked up projection by Taylor because she believes that wooden fences are impenetrable by any force on earth unless something dramatic happens to break them up and any kind of gaps between them should have an endless wave of people charging at her with weapons so she can chop them up like weeds. Her beliefs set up some kind of impenetrable force field over those fences we arranged you to set up here as an experiment to see how far her control over fucking reality was. And it turns out it was very far control. The fact that Wolong and I were able to think of this plan in the first place? The fact we got you to even agree to that stupid shit? All a part of Taylor's fucked mind-set right now. Sometimes, I get so caught up in character and the madness, I forget and it scares me more than Hebert does. Sometimes anyway."
Emma looked at her smaller friend with fear in her eyes and whispered weakly. "I don't have much of a choice to go or not, don't I."
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Taylor stepped out of Winslow and surveyed the PRT vehicles and personnel that formed a loose circle around the school.
The massive cape snorted at the pathetic array raised against her as she held a snoozing Emma with her left arm. The redhead had begun crying and screeching after agreeing to go home with her and it made Taylor's head hurt to think of why. Diao Chan only quieten down after Gongtai used a cloth that smelled funny on her.Chen Madison had thought for her as was her job, but she used too many big words and so there was nothing worth listening to anymore. It was not like her father was skewered like so many fathers Taylor had met before. She only wants someone who can keep her company and not make things so complicated like it usually is with people like Wolong and the other smart thinking type people.
Taylor had asked the stupid voice that had whined when she took the head dress, armour and met the disgusting Australians who were Asian and insisted on talking about roos and poo. But the voice had gone quiet like a dead skewered father when Gongtai Clements and Diao Chan started speaking with all those big words.
The voice is probably thinking of something. Probably something lewd like she did when Diao Chan and Madison were speaking of eyes and trains. Eye trains sound like fun! Then the voice had started throwing up when Diao Chan started talking even softer than usual and Chen Gong started speaking about dancing.
So the voice throws up when talking about eye trains and Diao Chan dancing. Lewd voice is lewd and also has bad taste and hygiene.
A woman wearing the uniform of the PRT walked up to Taylor, her face covered by a scarf with stars and stripes like that flag outside the fort of the thin Dong Zhuo. Her skin reminds me of the Nanman and also the darker Nanman that can transform into shadow.
She held up one of those mobile phones that the voice hated so much.
"Your father, Daniel Hebert would like to speak to you."
The voice suddenly got a lot louder and more annoying.
Ahh! It's… (Worm/Dynasty Warriors)
Chapter 3
Ahh! It's…Time for School.
Sophia Hess looked up at the sky and watched as karma prepared to give her a nice chomp on her shapely ass. The athletic girl was rather proud of it for it was the product of several years of hard fighting and training and she'd prefer not to have a chunk of it bitten off.
The day had started normal enough, as normal as a day can go in this crazy city that was getting crazier by the day since Hebert got shoved into the locker for a family reunion. A worm stuffed into a metal box filled with her relatives and they're generous enough to provide refreshments! It almost brought a genuine smile on her face rather than the scowl and sneer she usually spots with people other than Emma.
Emma on the other hand was getting stir crazy and it's not hard to see why. An earthworm was thrown into the box and the fucking Jormugand serpent broke out of it in a gigantic ball of fire and reduced the hallway into a burnt crater.
That roar when she burst out of the locker during that very public trigger. Even if you didn't see it, you sure as hell heard it all throughout BB.
So now Emma was getting everyone she could cajole and blackmail into placing wooden fences along every hallway she can think off. Like she was planning to herd someone or something. She can tell it wasn't to herd someone into a trap. No, it was a delaying action meant to stall for time rather than try to stop the unstoppable.
The probationary Ward knew of course who the fuck she pissed off that she'd get on the bad side of the entire Winslow staff by barricading the school. The gangs were surprisingly willing to go along. The E88 and the Merchants moved to form their own strongholds in corners of the school while the ABB had scattered and were collectively truant from the school. The news wasn't out yet, but Sophia was well aware that Taylor fucking Hebert had whacked Lung. They were picking up pieces of him with cranes all night and morning after the new cape tangled with the metal dragon along the docks.
"So why did Emma choose to believe fucking Tattletale of all people?" Sophia muttered under her breath while Emma sat next to her desk poring over maps of the school grounds while yelling direction into her phone to her lackeys.
The annoying blonde villain had approached Emma with a wardrobe change and a feathered fan as her new accessory. Her new cape name of Wolong was almost a deal breaker for the redhead who was immensely triggered by the Asian flair of the cape's new look. But she had believed the newly Asian cape regardless and only said to Sophia something which made her wander if Tattletale had obtained a Master power.
"Master Zhuge Liang is always correct." Considering that Emma had developed a hatred for all things east of the Balkans that would make Kaiser tell her to tone it down, it almost made Sophia intervene.
Almost being the operative word. Sophia Hess thinks something bigger was up and she was willing to let the redhead take the bait.
And now, just in time for lunch Karma had arrived ready to grab a bite and she was the main course after the entre that was Emma.
Karma of course came in the form of the now seven feet Taylor Hebert riding a giant metal dragon with six wings, four arms and four pairs of eyes covered in fire that both blotted out and replaced the sun. Using that empowered polearm of hers to steer Lung by slicing of whatever parts of Lung that attempted to throw her off his back and yanking the pyrokinetic however was fun to see.
"Quit mumbling and…what's that stupid voice?…Pron…pronounce your words! And speak Chinese! I don't under..un…know what you're saying!"
Hebert was somehow louder than Lung when she yelled it out in English.
The massive dragon riding cape than started yanking the lengthy neck of her ride in an effort to get Lung to land. Sophia decided it was time to take drastic action. Looking around, the off disguise ward made sure they were alone before tuning to her friend.
"Emma."
"Yes?"
"You're on your own. I'm out."
Sophia ignored the screams of outrage as she phased through the walls and began legging it out of the school. A good predator knows when there's a new apex predator in the food chain and she's a piranha to Taylor Hebert's mutated lungfish from a Chinese trawler.
////////////////////////////////////////
Grue for the tenth time muttered to whoever would listen that he hated the plan. Tattletale had some very stupid ideas from time to time when that power of hers goes wrong in a bad way, but telling him that he needed to stand still holding a burning torch in a hallway full of E88 skinheads for five seconds was a new record.
Wolong, as she's now known, had assured him in a relaxed drawl that made her sound like she was on tranquilizers that her plan will always succeed.
"The fire attack will catch all the linked barriers I have arranged to be constructed in that school. It will be a flawless victory." The blond had made that claim while fanning herself languidly with that fan of hers. She didn't bother to explain how she can light up an entire school with just one torch, but she simply laughed softly while giving her that smug look she's very good at.
He didn't believe her, but the money she offered was very good.
Stand still with a burning torch in a hallway full of neo Nazis while not using his powers was not something he had in mind. On the other hand, he was allowed to soften up and stun the crowd before he played statute in a crowd that already wanted to kill him on bigoted principal alone.
Grue was about to quit after he counted to five and abandon the mission when the world caught on fire.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Emma Barnes stalked down the burning, smoke filled halls of Winslow, following a pre-set path in case of an emergency. The plan by Master Zhuge Liang was working so well, with Hebert being herded to dead end after dead end by the fences erected hastily to block her path and direct her. As predicted, the monstrous cape avoided breaking the fences despite how fragile they are compared to some of the things she's already smashed, like Lung for an instance.
This allowed swarms of E88 and Merchants to swarm Taylor and of course that no good traitor Madison. Where did all those numbers come from and how did they fit into the classrooms and hallways where they emerged from puzzled her, but it was not her problem. Even the fact that they looked very similar with only a few changes in variety didn't faze her much. The ABB looked the same way to her anyway.
The redhead seethed at her former minion's betrayal and quick embrace of the new ABB. Madison was privileged enough to know of that incident in the alley and she mocked her with her Fu Manchu get up. But revenge will have to wait when her escape was cut off by the school suddenly catching fire. The parts that didn't thanks to a still functioning sprinkler system, found themselves flooded.
Localised floods triggered by sprinklers when they barely have enough water to provide for a bag of the Merchant's weed? Taylor's powers were bullshit.
"Dong Zhuo you pig! Where did you hide Diao Chan! Tell me before I stick you like the swine you are!"
Oh fuck me! Wolong's plans led right to the principal's office. Emma froze on the spot as her former bestie's eyes met her own. The massive cape dropped Principal Blackwell from the chokehold she held her in, allowing the gasping woman to scramble away. Standing on the right was her former partner in crime Madison, her posture subservient and keeping a good three feet away from Taylor.
"Diao Chan…" The giant cape rumbled before she made her way almost hesitantly towards Emma before Madison moved between the two.
"Milady! Please allow me to speak with Lady Diao Chan. She must be so alarmed at your presence to rescue her." Not waiting for Taylor's approval, the budding strategist pulled Emma into a huddle.
Emma noticed that Madison was a lot stronger than before when the smaller girl pulled her into the huddle, but she didn't become what she was by being intimidated by pure physical strength. The redhead hissed out her first question.
"Madison, what the fuck's wrong with you. Did Hebert's new slant eye friends run such a train over you that you went native?"
"Emma. I know of your problems with the ABB and the nasty shit they do." Emma can barely believe the calm tone taken by the petite girl. It's the fucking human trafficking ABB!
"But I'm going to level with you. It's not about the ABB and the nasty shit they do. Right now, it's all about Taylor Hebert who apparently triggered as some crazy cape with powers that among other things allow her to produce fucking floating meat buns that can fix your shit right up better than Panacea. "
"All those gangers that look like the Attack of the Clones? They're some kind of fucked up projection by Taylor because she believes that wooden fences are impenetrable by any force on earth unless something dramatic happens to break them up and any kind of gaps between them should have an endless wave of people charging at her with weapons so she can chop them up like weeds. Her beliefs set up some kind of impenetrable force field over those fences we arranged you to set up here as an experiment to see how far her control over fucking reality was. And it turns out it was very far control. The fact that Wolong and I were able to think of this plan in the first place? The fact we got you to even agree to that stupid shit? All a part of Taylor's fucked mind-set right now. Sometimes, I get so caught up in character and the madness, I forget and it scares me more than Hebert does. Sometimes anyway."
Emma looked at her smaller friend with fear in her eyes and whispered weakly. "I don't have much of a choice to go or not, don't I."
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Taylor stepped out of Winslow and surveyed the PRT vehicles and personnel that formed a loose circle around the school.
The massive cape snorted at the pathetic array raised against her as she held a snoozing Emma with her left arm. The redhead had begun crying and screeching after agreeing to go home with her and it made Taylor's head hurt to think of why. Diao Chan only quieten down after Gongtai used a cloth that smelled funny on her.Chen Madison had thought for her as was her job, but she used too many big words and so there was nothing worth listening to anymore. It was not like her father was skewered like so many fathers Taylor had met before. She only wants someone who can keep her company and not make things so complicated like it usually is with people like Wolong and the other smart thinking type people.
Taylor had asked the stupid voice that had whined when she took the head dress, armour and met the disgusting Australians who were Asian and insisted on talking about roos and poo. But the voice had gone quiet like a dead skewered father when Gongtai Clements and Diao Chan started speaking with all those big words.
The voice is probably thinking of something. Probably something lewd like she did when Diao Chan and Madison were speaking of eyes and trains. Eye trains sound like fun! Then the voice had started throwing up when Diao Chan started talking even softer than usual and Chen Gong started speaking about dancing.
So the voice throws up when talking about eye trains and Diao Chan dancing. Lewd voice is lewd and also has bad taste and hygiene.
A woman wearing the uniform of the PRT walked up to Taylor, her face covered by a scarf with stars and stripes like that flag outside the fort of the thin Dong Zhuo. Her skin reminds me of the Nanman and also the darker Nanman that can transform into shadow.
She held up one of those mobile phones that the voice hated so much.
"Your father, Daniel Hebert would like to speak to you."
The voice suddenly got a lot louder and more annoying.
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Ahh...Lu Bu Approves!
JayF
The Idol Producer
Izanagi_Mikoto said: ↑
Credit to Mercsernary
"Insignificant worms. You are beneath my notice."
On the other hand.. Chen Madison might say something?
"Tay- err I mean My lord, perhaps they can be of use to you."
"what the fuck are you doing, madi-"
"Shut the fuck up, I'm saving your lives you idiots."
"Oh?"
"Yes, Emma can be uh, your civilian liaison!"
"Liaison?"
"Contact."
"Hmmm. And the barbarian?"
"WHAT?!"
"Scenery."
"WHAT."
"Explain."
"Well, my lord, at some point you would need to, uh, display your wealth, and what better than, ah, exotics."
"Hmm."
'buy it buy it buy it buy it buy it."
"Very well. I like this plan."
'YES! Thank you historical fiction books.'
After seeing what happened to Madison, I need to know what Lu Bu did or will do to Sophia and Emma. Now. Lol.
Ahh...It's Lu Bu Approved non CanonCredit to Mercsernary
"Insignificant worms. You are beneath my notice."
On the other hand.. Chen Madison might say something?
"Tay- err I mean My lord, perhaps they can be of use to you."
"what the fuck are you doing, madi-"
"Shut the fuck up, I'm saving your lives you idiots."
"Oh?"
"Yes, Emma can be uh, your civilian liaison!"
"Liaison?"
"Contact."
"Hmmm. And the barbarian?"
"WHAT?!"
"Scenery."
"WHAT."
"Explain."
"Well, my lord, at some point you would need to, uh, display your wealth, and what better than, ah, exotics."
"Hmm."
'buy it buy it buy it buy it buy it."
"Very well. I like this plan."
'YES! Thank you historical fiction books.'
JayF
The Idol Producer
As you guys are probably aware, I wrote this on a whim, but it took a life on it's own. The general tone is still going to be over the top Lu Bu! because it's DW! Lu Bu. But I felt a bit of sobriety was needed. By making Diao Chan as Emma of all people, well Diao Chan and Lu Bu got quite a history.
DW! Lu Bu is hopelessly in love with Diao Chan, who mostly returns that affection. Emma on the other hand despises the canon Taylor almost as much as she's terrified of Lu Bu! Taylor. Since Lu Bu! Taylor is pretty much I am Lu Bu, you are now Dynasty Warrior, I'm open to suggestions on how to play this. Switch between DW mind taking over with normal Emma's revelation?
Ideas people
DW! Lu Bu is hopelessly in love with Diao Chan, who mostly returns that affection. Emma on the other hand despises the canon Taylor almost as much as she's terrified of Lu Bu! Taylor. Since Lu Bu! Taylor is pretty much I am Lu Bu, you are now Dynasty Warrior, I'm open to suggestions on how to play this. Switch between DW mind taking over with normal Emma's revelation?
Ideas people
- Location
- No Second Chances
OK I think I need context for this character crossover.
Power explanation would help a lot.
Power explanation would help a lot.
JayF
The Idol Producer
Lu Bu from the Dynasty /Ororchi Warrior series.
Super strength and toughness enough to take down and subdue Lung. The ability to empower any weapon to match the weapons held in the game universe which are when sufficiently buffed are capable of taking down mythical demons and gods that merged two worlds together into a new world ignoring time and do time travel. Also able to produce healing items via breaking of objects and people she believes she's defeated. Once Lu Bu! Taylor thinks you're someone from the Dynasty Warrior series, you gain their powers and mentality.
See Chen Gong for Madison and Diao Chan for Emma. Remember to specify the DW versions.
The Stormbringer
Worm Fanfic & Crack Connoisseur
- Location
- Spaaaaace~!
I'm not sure what this is... but I imagine it as having lots of thumping, high energy pseudo-Chinese music playing in the background at all times, and I approve.
na its Lu Bu's theme all day and night, the real reason Madison thinks she is a Chinese strategist is she hasint had any sleep for days
t-thats not fair! Zhuge Liang is WAY cooler then Tattletale!
JayF
The Idol Producer
Fair? That doesn't sound very much like our beloved sleeping dragon. Coil could use his powers all he wants and he'd still lose.
To a fake statue of a dead Wolong Tattletale. Made of straw. Badly.
JayF
The Idol Producer
Stop reading my mind and no Kaiser isn't significant enough.
Kaiser is more of a slightly more competent Yuan Shao
- Location
- Red Blood on Golden Shield
Now I got the mental image of armsmaster caresing his beard while thinking.
Exactly the same way that Guan Yu does...
- Location
- Red Blood on Golden Shield
Maybe the Wu?
I would consider they fit the whole clan (family) of warriors thing.
- Location
- Paradise, Hawaii
So, just to clarify?
What Faction do Uber & Leet represent??
If Lu Bu! Taylor identifies them as DW material, who would be a good fit?
Who would the duo try to be to gain powers and combat abilities?
Can we 'see' Leet 'Stepping Up' into Melee, Tanking & calling for More?
What Faction do Uber & Leet represent??
If Lu Bu! Taylor identifies them as DW material, who would be a good fit?
Who would the duo try to be to gain powers and combat abilities?
Can we 'see' Leet 'Stepping Up' into Melee, Tanking & calling for More?