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A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover

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DragonParadox said:
I think he too wants to be remembered and, as a creation of the modern age, he wants to be remembered as the hero, the white hat as it were in spite of his warts. If I were to compare his motivations to anything it would probably be westerns, the lone wanderer rolls into town gets made serif. It does not work out and he's back to lone wandering.
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I mean, he did become King of Aquilonia and kept the job until his 60's so that's not really correct. . .


TalonofAnathrax said:
Conan has BIG MUSCLES, yes, and the brain is always the biggest muscle of all!
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Most of his villains underestimate him as just dumb muscle and this lets him play them pretty badly. . .

He's a lot smarter in the Stories and Books than he is in the Movies.
 
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KnightofTempest said:
I mean his very first appearance has him reading and writing in four separate languages and he has won an awful lot of fights by fighting smart. . .
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Yes he is obviously clever and he does learn a lot of skills that help the author deliver exposition like languages, but he is not really intellectually curious. The Conan books have a bit of and anti-intellectual bent, since most lore comes in the form of cosmic horror borrowed from Lovecraft or the crumbling remains of ancient glories.

KnightofTempest said:
I mean, he did become King of Aquilonia and kept the job until his 60's so that's not really correct. . .
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He still goes back to being and adventurer though from what I recall. I hadn't realized he kept the job that long though. It's been a while since I read the stories.
 
KnightofTempest said:
Most of his villains underestimate him as just dumb muscle and this lets him play them pretty badly. . .

He's a lot smarter in the Stories and Books than he is in the Movies.
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I'm aware. IIRC he doesn't even have that massive bodybuilder appearance in the books, does he?
But the big muscles / big brain juxtaposition is funnier, so that'll always be how I picture him.
 
KnightofTempest said:
I mean, he did become King of Aquilonia and kept the job until his 60's so that's not really correct. . .
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Heck, ruling for multiple decades shows dedication. But really who knows what motivated him there? I doubt it was purely a love of providing steady rule given his professed simplicity of intent.
 
TalonofAnathrax said:
I'm aware. IIRC he doesn't even have that massive bodybuilder appearance in the books, does he?
But the big muscles / big brain juxtaposition is funnier, so that'll always be how I picture him.
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Conan has "sullen", "smoldering", and "volcanic" blue eyes with a black "square-cut mane". Howard once describes him as having a hairy chest and, while comic book interpretations often portray Conan as wearing a loincloth or other minimalist clothing to give him a more barbaric image, Howard describes the character as wearing whatever garb is typical for the kingdom and culture in which Conan finds himself. Howard never gave a strict height or weight for Conan in a story, only describing him in loose terms like "giant" and "massive".
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So he is Big Muscles and Big Brain.

An Absolute Unit.
 
DragonParadox said:
Yes he is obviously clever and he does learn a lot of skills that help the author deliver exposition like languages, but he is not really intellectually curious. The Conan books have a bit of and anti-intellectual bent, since most lore comes in the form of cosmic horror borrowed from Lovecraft or the crumbling remains of ancient glories.



He still goes back to being and adventurer though from what I recall. I hadn't realized he kept the job that long though. It's been a while since I read the stories.
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He abdicated the throne to his son to go on one last great adventure before he died, yeah. That's just a genric fantasy trope though.

TalonofAnathrax said:
I'm aware. IIRC he doesn't even have that massive bodybuilder appearance in the books, does he?
But the big muscles / big brain juxtaposition is funnier, so that'll always be how I picture him.
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He's described as having corded muscles, which given that the original stories were written in the 30's meant more circus strongman or professional athlete than bodybuilder
 
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Part MMMDCLXIV: Rumors and Reports from Westeros Part One
  • Threadmarks
    • Rumors and Reports from Westeros Part One​

    First Day of the Fourth Month 294 AC

    Crownlands and Riverlands

    The Final Breath: From Cracklaw Point to Driftmark and Dragonstone, as lords and smallfok loyal to House Targaryen grow ever more restless under the hand of the Stag King instances of unrest and outright banditry grow with them. Hedge knights without the coin or the inclination to travel east and enroll in the Legion lead disaffected smallfolk in the shadow of Summerhall, minor loyalist houses put out the call for more armsmen even as Lord Velaryon seeks to keep everything under the notice of the Lannisters and the Usurper.

    With the growing proliferation of magic acquired from Sorcerer's Deep plots to kidnap lords and heirs still loyal to Robert Baratheon have grown like mushrooms after rain, and much like said mushrooms some of them are more poisonous than others. As Robert's hunts ranged farther and farther afield in the month leading up to his death Monford Velaryon had to persuade his fellow lords on three separate occasions that a 'swift and decisive attack on the royal party under cover of sorcery' would not be welcomed. Bloodraven would have probably dissuaded them if the Lord of the Tides had not managed, but given what he is up against at court you are glad he was spared the distraction.

    Strange Ripples: Sightings of odd and misshapen fish are growing along the Blackwater together with word of uncanny shapes prowling the shorelines as far up river as Tumbler's Falls in the Riverlands. With the local lords apprised of the Deep Ones they at least know to take such reports deadly seriously, but their ability to counter such threats is limited at best. Though there have been no obvious disappearances so far it would be easy to miss 'wanderers and road folk', from tinkers and peddlers to minstrels and even hedge knights and sellswords.

    Fey Exodus: Though it has only been weeks since your attack on the Court of Stars it is clear that many fey which lingered around the edges of the court proper have chosen to flee not into the depths of the Feywild but north into the Riverlands and Crownlands, causing disruption in some places and in others placing themselves at the disposal of the local lords. Few have taken these bargains from the wilder fey like satyrs and pookas, though house spirits were welcomed.

    Arcane Acquisitions: Over the past month a number of agents of House Frey have arrived in Sorcerer's Deep, along with some of the cities of western Essos like Pentos and Tyrosh, meaning to acquire the services of mages, architects and engineers in good standing, or rather the promise of those services once Westeros is taken. It seems Walder Frey aims to steal a march on his neighbors when it comes to the services of sorcerers and other experts. According to those same agents Lord Walder is looking into infrastructure investments.

    OOC: The reason I had Riverlands and Crownlands together was that two of the events affected both regions. It would have felt arbitrary to separate them.
     
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  • Threadmarks
    • DragonParadox said:
    Rumors and Reports from Westeros Part One​

    First Day of the Fourth Month 294 AC

    Crownlands and Riverlands

    The Final Breath: From Driftmark to Crackclaw Point and Dragonstone, as lords and smallfok loyal to House Targaryen grow ever more restless under the hand of the Stag King, instances of unrest and outright banditry grow with them, hedge knights without the coin or the inclination to travel east and enroll in the legion lead disaffected smallfolk in the shadow of Summerhall, minor loyalist houses put out the call for more armsmen even as lord Velaryon seeks to keep everything under the notice of the Lannisters and the Usurper.

    With the growing proliferation of magic acquired from Sorcerer's Deep, plots to kidnap lords and heirs still loyal to Robert Baratheon have grown like mushrooms after rain and much like said mushrooms some of them are more poisonous than others. As Robert's hunts ranged farther and farther afield in the month leading up to his death, Monford Velaryon had to persuade his fellow lords on three separate occasions that a 'swift and decisive attack on the royal party under cover of sorcery' would not be welcomed. Bloodraven would have probably dissuaded them if the Lord of the Tides had not managed, but given what he is up against at court you are glad he was spared the distraction.

    Strange Ripples: Sightings of odd and misshapen fish are growing along the Blackwater, together with word of uncanny shapes prowling the shorelines as far up river as Tumbler's Falls in the Riverlands. With the local lords apprised of the Deep Ones, they at least know to take such reports deadly seriously, but their ability to counter such threats is limited at best. Though there have been no obvious disappearances so far, it would be easy to miss 'wanderers and road folk' from tinkers and peddlers to minstrels and even hedge knights and sellswords.

    Fey Exodus: Although it has only been weeks since your attack on the Court of Stars, it is clear that many fey which lingered around the edges of the court proper have chosen to flee, not into the depths of the Feywild but north into the Riverlands and Crownlands, causing disruption in some places and in others placing themselves at the disposal of the local lords. Few have taken these bargains for the wilder fey like satyrs and pukas, though house spirits were welcomed.

    Arcane Acquisitions: Over the past month, a number of agents of House Frey have arrived in Sorcerer's Deep but also in some of the cities of western Essos, such as Pentos and Tyrosh, meaning to acquire the services of mages, architects, and engineers in good standing, or rather the promise of those services once Westeros is taken. It seems Walder Frey aims to steal a march on his neighbors when it comes to the services of sorcerers and other experts. According to those same agents, Lord Walder is looking into infrastructure investments

    OOC: The reason I had Riverlands and Crownlands together was that two of the events affected both regions. It would have felt arbitrary to separate them. Not yet edited.
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    Here's an edited version of the chapter, DP.
     
    So we will likely need to prepare for the war of the Crimson Tides at the same time we take over the Western provinces, it seems.
     
    I wonder which Reach houses hate us the most. The dude who married the nymph and the kid who hates magic after his wereboar dad disappeared should be top 5.
     
    A_Somebody said:
    Lol Walder looked at Viserys saying that there would be more bridged over the Trident and thought "well why can't we own more then?"
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    There's little point in trying to own every bridge over the Trident--since more will be built in lands he does not control but still allow crossings over every single Fork, Red, Green and Blue.

    That aside, there's also the fact that with more infrastructure, as well as the Administration managing river trade between the major settlements about to balloon up through one of its Bureaus, Walder is getting ready to have roads into his lands be better and ready to accept more trade, and make it attractive to settlers with skills when he builds up his city.

    So banking on an increased amount of trade in his own lands by exploiting existing resources rather than sitting back and watching the coffers filled from tolls over the years. It also allows him to maniacally wring his hands and laugh as the reputation of Frey "miserly money grubbing" gets washed away, which he is already doing by "helpfully assisting" various "travelers" who are really just partisans working for us. Doesn't matter, because if you can persistently spin that image and no one can contest it because it actively works against their own interests by drawing more attention to all the people passing through his lands...

    Really, Walder is playing this whole thing to the hilt and reaping any advantage. It's why we specifically raised up House Keath's status with the Oldstones grant and city charter, because otherwise Frey will become even more unbearably smug.
     
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    Absylon Quilby said:
    I find it funny that we looked at the iron islands and saw an investment opportunity, but we look at the reach as relics of a fading age.
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    You have to actually want to do better. A consistent thing we see with the Ironborn is wanting to be respected, powerful and wealthy, but not knowing how without losing their identity.

    With it being revealed their "identity" is a literal ploy by lovecraftian sea horrors, it's way easier to convince them that they'll be plenty respected--by us-- if they learn a few tricks from our playbook.

    The Reach though? Its characterized in canon as people largely removed from the horrible cost of war that every other Kingdom paid in full, because they didn't actually fight in the last big one. They are stuck in on themselves because previously, and on the whole, they are the Kingdom that is prosperous, rich and the prototypical example of Andal chivalry and pious grandeur. Everyone else just poorly emulates them.

    With every Kingdom being far less reliant on their harvests, and a big cultural shakeup in general incoming, and a lesser relevance on the martial nobility as its own institution rather than an extension of our own military might... what do they have to offer us, except people who are going to lose a lot of their extant influence? About the only thing we have going for us here is our willingness to continue to invest in the Reach and their reliance upon us to do so, in order to not be left behind.

    That and the implicit threat of military force, obviously.
     
    Can't help but feel like Velayrion is the stressed dad who keeps hearing "are we there yet" from the loyalist houses who want to raise against Robert.
     
    We absolutely need to give Velayrion a nice vacation when we're done conquering Westeros. Somewhere warm and relaxing, with good food and few cares, and most importantly, far, far away from the petty squabbles of his neighbors.
     
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