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A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover

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@egoo, add 20 scroll cases that are made to look as if a Portable Hole could have been rolled up inside, but instead, there is only a note: "I prepared Explosive Rune today."
 
Crake said:
Inside of one of the Portable holes, there's a Steam cannon battery pointing out the top end. When the Mythic Rating 10 Archfiend avatar rolls it out, it gets hit with multiple HEAP rounds.
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A portable hole is too small for that. But we could fill it with Explosive Packs on a proximity fuse that triggers when the hole is opened without saying the password.
 
Azel said:
@egoo, add 20 scroll cases that are made to look as if a Portable Hole could have been rolled up inside, but instead, there is only a note: "I prepared Explosive Rune today."
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Done!
egoo said:
---[X] Have compartments of 20 random Fireflies covered with a Magic Aura copying the aura of a Portable Hole and containing a scroll case that is made to look as if a Portable Hole could have been rolled up inside, but instead, there is only a note: "I prepared Explosive Rune today."
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MORE!
 
Azel said:
A portable hole is too small for that. But we could fill it with Explosive Packs on a proximity fuse that triggers when the hole is opened without saying the password.
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At this point I'm just offering up joke suggestions, I think most of the measures we've already taken are enough of a delay that if we can't kill the transgressors before they can do anything meaningfully harmful, we deserve to lose.

At this point it would be more efficient to kill Viserys and the Companions first and then throw chaff at the problem at a leisurely pace.
 
Crake said:
This is NOT enough bullying!

We have not yet reached peak bullying!
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Every 50th firefly has a charm of Treacherous Teleport and tries to latch onto any unauthorized people who open it before turning it on.

Some statues are now subject to Sacred Item

Some fireflies have Regression Mines in addition to holy water.

Threshold Guardians now block evil outsider from reaching into the fireflies directly.

Fireflies without magical explosives inside now occasionally have Jars of Lightning rigged to break when their compartment is opened.

Half of the remaining "empty" fireflies getSporecrafter's Kindness bundles rigged to pop open when the compartment is unsealed.

Have we reached peak fiend bullying yet? :V
 
Crake said:
At this point I'm just offering up joke suggestions, I think most of the measures we've already taken are enough of a delay that if we can't kill the transgressors before they can do anything meaningfully harmful, we deserve to lose.

At this point it would be more efficient to kill Viserys and the Companions first and then throw chaff at the problem at a leisurely pace.
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Did you think I was making a OOTS joke as a serious suggestion? :eyebrow:

To be clear, @egoo, we should absolutely do the Explosive Runes thing, but we have clearly reached the point where we are crossing over into comedy.

None the less, what kind of comedy would it be without some explosives?
And shrapnel. Can't have explosions without at least 5 different kinds of shrapnel.
And some poison. A barrel of giant spider poison a day keeps the doctor away.
 
Crake said:
At this point I'm just offering up joke suggestions, I think most of the measures we've already taken are enough of a delay that if we can't kill the transgressors before they can do anything meaningfully harmful, we deserve to lose.

At this point it would be more efficient to kill Viserys and the Companions first and then throw chaff at the problem at a leisurely pace.
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Shh!


The Degeneracy shall go on
 
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I don't think there is much more to do unless you want to get like R'hilor standing outside with a flaming sword. And that ho will cost too much anyway.
 
@BronzeTongue, @Azel, jokes aside, I'll add whatever ya two have, but am unable to do stuff from PC right now.
Would appreciate a "-[] stuffstuffstuff" sort of write-up.
 
Tomcost said:
Eurobeat remixes of the Doom sountrack are a disservice to the soul of the Doom Franchise.

And it makes me link the proper BFG division to offset the shame to proper demon slaying (also because this is Richard's song in my headcanon)

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Only there it is called BFS Division.
 
I want to collaborate with the trolling.

Possible things to find in the fireflies:

-Spheres of anihilation
-Plane Shifts to an inescapable demiplane
-Another firefly
-A bag of holding made so that it instantly drops into a portable hole upon pulling it out
-Suprise Greater Curse lottery
-A letter: "Your demons are in another castle"
-Gelatinous oozes
-Glyra
 
More comedy bullying reasonable precautions that would mage Eldar Harlequins laugh to death.
egoo said:
---[X] Have compartments of 20 random Fireflies covered with a Magic Aura copying the aura of a Portable Hole and containing a scroll case that is made to look as if a Portable Hole could have been rolled up inside, but instead, there is only a note: "I prepared Explosive Rune today."
---[X] Have compartments of another 10 random Fireflies covered with a Magic Aura copying the aura of a Portable Hole and containing an explosive charge, with a proximity fuse triggered when opened without saying the password. And a Hardened note saying: "Oh, here it is."
---[X] Have compartments of another 5 random Fireflies covered with a Magic Aura copying the aura of a Portable Hole, and containing a vial of Giant Spider venom, set up to spill out explosively when compartment is open without a saying a password, and a note "You win!".
---[X] Have 5 of the Fireflies set up with a cloak of Chyber permanenced via Diamind Dust and a Magic Aura spell to specifically look suspiciously non-magical to magic-sensing abilities. Have them be ordered to take flight through the most uncomfortable and crowded positions around the swarm instead of fighting whenever swarm is attacked, looking as if evading capture.
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Can we pass this plan off as Glyra's idea?
She'd get a Mythic Rank straight up :V
 
Adhoc vote count started by egoo on Oct 25, 2020 at 8:14 PM, finished with 69 posts and 8 votes.
  • [X] Summoned Brimoraks will be subjected to the Shrink Item Chamber operated by a Herald at each Summoning site, then stored in a Portable Hole, guarded by that Herald and the additional forces already present at the main Snare (near Sorcerer's Deep)
    -[X] As an additional layer of obfuscation, each shrunken Brimorak statue will be dipped in a lead before going into storage.
    -[X] Have x2000 lead-clad Firefly units created (100,000 IM). Also re-assign 1,000x Spitters and 500x Spitter Swarms from "Inquisition Forces"-pool there too.
    --[X] Have the Portable hole inserted into one of the swarm whenever one is filled up. All of the Fireflies are to be also filled with Holy Water and ordered to attack anyone except for the overseeing Harbinger that attempts to catch them or order them around.
    ---[X] Have the compartments of 20 Fireflies contain the Portable hole decoys Permanenced with diamond dust with Vacuous Vessel and auras of Portable Hole item created via Magic Aura spell.
    ----[X] Also have Vacuous Vessel cast and Permanenced with diamond dust on compartments of 100 random Fireflies for misdirection against magic-detecting senses.
    -----[X] Have a partially overlapping number of Fireflies affected by a Magic Aura spell, some showing up as just Portable Holes, some as affected by Vacuous Vessel, and some as Vacuous Vessel and a Puzzle Box. All while in divination-and-magic-vision-impending- lead covering of the Firefly.
    ---[X] Have compartments of 20 random Fireflies covered with a Magic Aura copying the aura of a Portable Hole and containing a scroll case that is made to look as if a Portable Hole could have been rolled up inside, but instead, there is only a note: "I prepared Explosive Rune today."
    ---[X] Have compartments of another 10 random Fireflies covered with a Magic Aura copying the aura of a Portable Hole and containing an explosive charge, with a proximity fuse triggered when opened without saying the password. And a Hardened (to survive he explosion) note saying: "Oh, here it is."
    ---[X] Have compartments of another 5 random Fireflies covered with a Magic Aura copying the aura of a Portable Hole, and containing a vial of Giant Spider venom, set up to spill out explosively when compartment is open without a saying a password, a sum of 100 IM and a note "You win!".
    ---[X] Have 5 of the random Fireflies set up with a cloak of Chyber permanenced via Diamind Dust and a Magic Aura spell to specifically look suspiciously non-magical to magic-sensing abilities. Have them be ordered to take flight through the most uncomfortable and crowded positions around the swarm instead of fighting whenever swarm is attacked, looking as if evading capture.
    ---[X] Have 20 random Fireflies have another Firefly stored inside of their compartments real tight.
    ----[X] Also have the (real) Portable Holes themselves Permanenced with Diamond Dust with Vacuous Vessel. And with Puzzle Box.
    -[X] Guard detail recount:
    [X] Guard detail inside the Snare: Mereth, 8x Erinyes, 4x Heralds, 8x Glass Golems, 4x Vigilant Briars, 4x Blood Clot Molds, 4x Black Brutes, 2x Greater Blood Clot Molds, 2x Black Champions, 1x Adult Mind Dragon, 5x Watchmoles, 2000x Fireflies, 1000x Spitters, 500x Spitter Swarms
    [X] Guard detail Units preparing the main ritual: Riz'Neth, Soft Strider, Nirah, the Champion of Yss (CR 20), Aife, Herald of the Ferryman (CR 22)
    [X] Guard detail outside the Snare: Balerion, 8x Fiery Dragonbeasts, 24x Erinyes, 6x Heralds, 12x Glass Golems, 16x Vigilant Briars, 6x Blood Clot Molds, 6x Black Brutes, 5x Watchmoles
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Tomcost said:
Eurobeat remixes of the Doom sountrack are a disservice to the soul of the Doom Franchise.

And it makes me link the proper BFG division to offset the shame to proper demon slaying (also because this is Richard's song in my headcanon)

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Lacks ominous latin chanting:



Edit: Found the song I was originally looking for:
 
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[X] egoo

EDIT: my one regret is that we're not going to be able to unleash this level of trolling on Tywin and the rest of the small council before we have them killed.
 
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