Chapter Two
"Merlin, that's odd," Ron said as Harry and Hermione exited the cubicles. Harry was struck by just how large Crabbe was up close, and the slightly intimidating fact that Milicent Bulstrode was even bigger. In her case, Harry thought, it was less fat and more bulk.
"It's a good thing you made me get another hair, Ron - I put the one I got at the duelling club into some polyjuice and it was definitely not from Bulstrode," Hermione said.
"Honestly, this isn't nearly as bad as the book said," Harry muttered. He felt almost an embarrassment at that - as if he should feel bad. But if you can't be honest with friends who'd risked their lives to help you, who could you be honest with, Harry thought.
"Really mate? I guess it's not so bad for some people or something," Ron said, a little awkwardly.
"It didn't - oh, we're wasting time! We need to get going, we only have an hour," Hermoine said.
"You find out where the Slytherin common room is, Harry?" Ron asked, unusually eloquent for Crabbe.
"Followed Malfoy yesterday-" Harry began, only for Hermione to interrupt.
"We all need to start speaking like the people we look like! Harry, speak like a catty bully. Ron, speak like even more of an idiot... and I guess I need to speak mostly in grunts," Hermione said. Ron gave a half-hearted objection to 'even more of an idiot', but being told he was right about Hermione's hair took the sting out of it.
"Now if you two will stop fighting and follow me," Harry said as he turned and walked out of the bathroom, only barely holding in a giggle. Pansy Parkinson might not be so ugly when Harry looked like her - her nose wasn't really that bad - but she certainly was as bad as Draco in her own way. Aside from setting a monster loose on the school. Harry didn't think Pansy had done that.
"That's downright unnatural, that is," Ron muttered as they all made their way down into the dungeons. Hurrying down the steps in unfamiliar shoes was a little difficult for Harry, but his natural agility and quick reflexes kept him from any falls.
Harry had followed Malfoy under his cloak the day before, and he quickly led the trio through the Dungeons. He hadn't got close enough to overhear the password, so they'd need to find another Slytherin to follow. Unfortunately for them, the first person they found wasn't a Slytherin.
"Miss Parkinson, what are you doing out of bed at this hour? And you, Crabbe and Bulstrode?" Percy Weasley asked, hands on his hips. He sounded like a male version of Molly Weasley, and Harry was seized by a sudden mad impulse to laugh. He managed not to, but it was close.
"What's it got to do with you, Weasley? Down here looking for a handout from some real wizards? As it's not curfew yet, I suggest you go back to your muggle studies books," Harry said, and felt unclean as he said it.
"You should show more respect to a Prefect, Parkinson. Ten points from Slytherin, and get back to your common room. It's not safe out here at night," Percy said.
"Nobody's going to attack three purebloods down here, Weasley," Draco Malfoy said, as he stepped around a corner.
"Be that as it may, Mr Malfoy - off to your common room before I take more points," Percy said, a little flustered. The trio followed Malfoy as he walked off, and they heard him mutter something foul about blood traitors as he led them away.
"Where have you been, Pansy? You can't have been hanging around with these two oafs," Draco said.
"Obviously not. I ran into them on the way down from the Owlery," Harry said, flicking his long black curls as he spoke. That was fun, Harry thought.
"That Peter Weasley... what a suck-up. Thinks he's going to catch the Heir of Slytherin single-handedly by skulking outside our common room," Draco said, and Ron corrected him with a muttered 'Percy' that Draco didn't seem to notice.
"Good thing you came along and saved us when you did, Draco," Harry said, trying his best to imitate Pansy's sycophantic tone.
"I'm sure you'd have handled him, Pansy -
pure blood - he's just another one of those dirt poor blood traitors," Draco said, uttering the password as they neared the concealed stone door. It opened to reveal a room very different from the Gryffindor common room. It was long and low, lit by hazy lanterns and a flickering fire. The green couches were immaculate leather, rather than the cozy-if battered cloth of the Gryffindor common room. "That reminds me, though - I have something to show that should make those points sting less. I'll be back in a moment," Draco said, walking towards the boy's dormitories.
The trio sat down a little awkwardly, making sure to not be too close together. Harry's eyes widened as he saw the titles on some of the books left lying around - '1001 Curses, Jinxes and Hexes' and 'Love Potions for the Beginning Witch' were some of the milder ones. Harry made sure he sat properly - he was sure Pansy wouldn't sit like he normally did. His skirt was still a little odd, but he had to keep from smiling too much - even though he had to pretend to be an awful person, being Pansy was surprisingly fun. Well, Harry thought, apart from having to talk to Draco Malfoy.
"Here it is - isn't it hilarious?" Draco asked, holding out a Daily Prophet clipping. It was a story about Mr Weasley being fined fifty galleons for enchanting a car, and Harry felt guilt run through him at the story. Hermoine thankfully remembered to laugh, and Harry was quick enough to try his best impression of Pansy's high, mocking laugh.
"That's hilarious, Draco. Best news I've seen all week," Harry said, hoping his fake smile matched the won Pansy usually wore.
"I've got some that's even better," Draco said as he leaned in. Harry found his obvious attempts to impress Pansy funny enough that not laughing was his biggest struggle. "My father says that not only are the attacks going to be reported soon but that they're going to get worse - and then Dumbledore will get fired! Just think about - no Dumbledore, no mudbloods, and certainly no Weasleys,"
"It would be nice... sounds like your father knows a lot about what's going on," Harry said, trying to flatter Draco Malfoy, and not even the fun of being Pansy could make up for that.
"Maybe, but he doesn't tell me much," Draco said.
"Are you sure? You must know something..." Harry said. Really, he thought, this was way too easy. Pretending to be Pansy was a way better plan than pretending to be Goyle.
"I've told you everything I know, Pansy. I wish I knew who the Heir was - I'd help them! But Father just says to keep my head down and let the Heir. Hopefully, he gets the Granger mudblood next. Merlin, I hope she's the one who dies!" Draco said, and Hermione gripped the chair she was sitting in a little too hard. "What's with the reaction, Bulstrode? Got a crush on the little beaver-face mudblood do you?" Draco said with a sneer.
"She just wants to kill Granger herself, more like," Ron said, before Hermione could speak.
"The one who dies?" Harry asked, shocked that Malfoy wasn't the Heir.
"Weren't you listening to me the last time, Pansy? The last time the chamber was opened, fifty years ago, a mudblood died! My father wouldn't say who did it, but he did tell me something interesting - the Heir managed to frame that oaf Hagrid and never got caught. Maybe he's going to make Potter take the blame this time - wouldn't it be grand to see Saint Potter, friend to the Mudbloods, get carted off to Azkaban?" Draco asked.
"Azkaban?" Harry asked dimly.
"The wizard prison? Are you feeling alright, Pansy?" Draco asked.
"I think I've got a bit of a headache," Harry lied.
"Not surprising after dealing with that Weasley blood traitor. Merlin, those types are almost worse than mudbloods - did I tell you the Ministry raided our manor last week? If they'd have found Father's real collection we might have been in trouble, but of course, they didn't know about the Malfoy's own secret chamber - right under our drawing-room," Draco said with a grin.
"I think you did... my headache's getting worse. I think I'm going to go to the Hospital Wing," Harry said. They'd gotten what they needed from Draco - even if it wasn't what they wanted. It was time to leave because Harry did not want Draco Malfoy to see him wearing a girl's uniform in the middle of the Slytherin common room. In fact, Harry was fairly certain he'd had that nightmare once or twice.
"I'll go with her. Go laugh at the mudbloods," Hermione said, as Ron grunted. Draco laughed a little, and the trio made a hasty retreat from the Slytherin corridor.
"Well, maybe we didn't learn who the Heir was - but I'm gonna owl my dad right away about that secret chamber," Ron said with a grin.
"At least we learnt something about the Chamber - but I have no idea who the Heir could be!" Hermoine said.
Harry, now that they were out of sight of any Slytherins, did a little spin. Yes, he thought, that was still as fun even after having had to pretend to be Pansy Parkinson. Even her voice was still fun - were there charms that could let him speak like this more often, he thought. Maybe not exactly like Pansy, but still.
"You alright mate?" Ron asked.
"Yeah," Harry said, a little shyly.
"Not exactly 'a truly horrific experience' like that book promised, being a bird then?"
"It's pretty fun... apart from having to pretend to be Pansy," Harry said, grinning a little. Hermoine's eyes narrowed, like she usually did when thinking about something - it looked quite bizarre on Bulstrode's face.
"I think I need to owl my parents about something..." Hermione said as the trio made their way back to the disused girl's bathroom.
A/N: So I was still a little inspired and kept writing
