A Hot Blooded Soul Smoldering Beneath Clasped Hands
Where there would be a description of a...
Where there would be a description of a...
A Hot Blooded Soul Smoldering Beneath Clasped Hands (Evangelion)
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1-1: Not Alone
konamikode
Cooking Harder
A Hot Blooded Soul Smoldering Beneath Clasped Hands
Where there would be a description of a story, only a single picture is needed to to explain where this madness originated from.
In short, Rokubungi Gendo was born a Shounen Protagonist
-
Chapter 1: Trust
Part 1: Not Alone
-
Ikari Shinji
April 20th, 2015
Geofront Hospital Level
Room 314 A
Most people say that they hate hospitals. It's said so often that it's become an overused cliche in many circles.
I guess I used to be the same way, but given how often I'm here due to Father's work and my cousin's many medical needs, the sterility of the environment kinda grew on me. She's actually the reason I'm here now lounging next to her on a free crash cart I dragged next to her bed.
Why am I not sitting in a visitor's chair?
"Shinji." The familiar voice of a blue haired, ruby eyed girl softly vies for my attention.
Well, my cousin's a little clingy around people that she's close to. Despite having her own music player and not exactly being a fan of classical, she wanted one of my earbuds. As far as I remember, she's always been that way ever since we were kids.
"Hm? What is it Rei?" I ask, not looking up from my manga even as a pale finger not covered in a cast poked my shoulder with a soft, but undeterrable insistence.
"I do not understand." She says, as if her contextless statement explains everything I need to know to answer her unexpanded question.
To elucidate, my cousin has a… developmental disorder I guess.
Well, more like she's a shut in that tries to understand people through light novels and manga, but it sounds better when I say she apparently had little to no human contact until she was about three years old. I get it though.
Rei… doesn't really have many friends. She can be strange and offputting and even while my friends are nice to her, they don't really get her. Not really.
I think Asuka is the only actual friend she has besides me, and that's because both of them were quiet as mice with a love of reading. And that was when we were seven.
"... you're doing that thing where you assume people know what you're talking about." I roll my eyes and shake my head at the faded memory of a quiet, red haired mouse and get my mind back into the present.
I wonder how she's doing in Germany? I should ask Misato-san for her new contact information...
"Oh. I'm sorry." Rei blinks with a slightly abashed look, but continues to pin me down with one of her 'please explain the world Shinji' looks that stopped being quite as cute years ago.
Sighing like Fuyutsuki sensei does when Father does something odd, I snap my tankoban closed and gently tap her on the forehead with it. "Don't worry about it. What were you saying?"
Rei only tilts her head to the side like a confused puppy despite the corner of my book pressing lightly into her forehead. "Why does Naruto care so much about Sasuke?"
I blink in turn, a little stumped.
"Uhh… well… I guess it's because they're friends?" I reply only to receive a deadpan look from my pale cousin. It's more than a little piercing with the way her only slightly disturbing red eyes narrow and darken in discontent.
Don't blame me for the lackluster answer! I've never really thought about it!
Unfortunately for me, Rei being Rei ignores what most people would understand as a politely worded 'I don't know' answer that still shows a level of interest in the conversation and begins extrapolating.
"But why are they friends? From what I have been able to understand neither their personalities and goals are aligned in a meaningful manner. In fact they are actively antagonistic to one another for most of their interactions despite their similar history."
"Err…"
"You and I for example have many reasons to be friends. We are distantly related by blood, have lived together in the same household for the majority of our lives, have many common hobbies and interests, and we both have the same after school occupation."
"Well sure, but-"
"In fact, representative Horaki had even believed we were pursuing a romantic relationship at one point-" Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhh
No. Nope. Not remembering that moment brain. Stooooooooooooooop. Please? Don't do it brain! Don't!
God damn it!
"Rei!" I clap and raise my voice, causing my situationally blabbermouth cousin to stop talking mid sentence and jerk in place with a pained wince. Probably from the way she jolted her injuries-
…
Uuuuugh. Now I feel like a jackass.
"Yes?" Smoothly she covers up her expression with a questioning look as I rubbed my face tiredly and try to ignore the dark blob that's already been forgiven eating away at my gut.
"Remember when we talked about the differences between talking to and talking at someone?" I ask dryly and without heat.
I'm annoyed sure.
"Oh. I'm sorry."
But I never get mad at her. Not normally.
"And stop apologizing!"
"... I'm… sorry?" She asks with that confused puppy dog look she's perfected years ago.
It's an expression I my poor heart that has a weakness for cute things has no defense against.
It's something I apparently share with my father as unbelievable as that idea is.
"Some days I swear you're doing this on purpose." I grumble, rubbing my temples-
I know I've already been punk'd by the expressionless face Rei puts on. "Doing what Pilot Ikari?"
"God damn it Rei."
"Hehe~" The troublesome girl giggles and has the audacity to stick her tongue out at me even though it earns her a like smack on the forehead once more. I can't help the small snort or the smile that sneaks its way onto my lips.
It's a comfortable escape, the little things that make up our everyday conversations I mean.
"... I guess it's because they're both lonely." I mumble, lying back with my hands behind my head in thought.
It takes a few minutes for Rei to chew through my words but when she does respond, it's equally contemplative...
"... I'm not sure I can understand that feeling. I've never felt that way before. You've always been with me for as long as I can remember." … and diabetes inducing.
God damn it Rei. How am I supposed to respond to that!?
I'm honestly a little moved despite how often Rei does this to me. "... yeah…" I just wish I was better at articulating my feelings.
It's a moot point though. Rei presses her uninjured left shoulder against mine in a show of understanding, an entire silent conversation passing by that no one else would understand even if they were here to watch.
I'm glad you're here.
Me too.
It's pretty crazy that people can be so close to one another even if we're separated by so many barriers, isn't it?-
The familiar sound of alarms punctuated by the unfamiliar statement of it not being a drill, rings loudly throughout the geofront.
Oh. Shit.
For a long moment I'm frozen. I know what the alarm means and I know that I need to get to the EVA cages as fast as possible…
But…
I can't-
"Nngh!" Next to me Rei gasps in pain as she attempts to throw herself off her hospital bed and reach for the crutches she had knocked away accidentally-
Rei!
Like the pop of a shook up soda can, strength returns to my limbs, my mind sharpens, and I move. "Stay!" The word is out of my mouth as I jump off the crash cart and begin running to where I need to be.
"Wait! Shinji!" I stop.
I know that tone of voice.
"Don't you dare go anywhere! I'm coming right back, okay Rei?"
"...understood…" My cousin whispers quietly as I glare into her eyes from the doorway.
With my pounding heart slightly settled in the knowledge that Rei isn't going to do something stupid, I run faster than I've ever run towards the elevator.
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTeCZk12z64
It's as I finish suiting up and make my way into the EVA cages that I'm treated to the sight of dozens of grown men and women from all walks of light squabbling like kids at the playground who only have one ball. Around them are a sea of familiar faces rushing back and forth from consoles and shouting for status reports. Attempting to take charge of the situation and bring a sense of calm is a serious Misato-san who is doing her best to take control of the chaos and panic that has infected near everyone in the room barring one person.
Above us all and seated on the command chair is my ever expressionless father with his gloved hands customarily folded before him.
But that's not what causes me to pause and glare at the one person who has captured the entirety of my attention.
Of course she didn't listen.
"Rei. What. The. Hell." I state furiously.
I'm angry.
I'm seriously angry.
What the hell do you think you're doing!?
"You're not going out there alone. That is unacceptable to me." The slip of a girl who is currently sitting in a wheelchair and bound in more bandages than there is visible person says just as frostily and matches my glare with one of her own.
I won't allow it.
"Don't be stupid Rei! You can't go out there like this!" I growl and slam my hands onto the armrests of her wheelchair.
Rei doesn't flinch back
"That is not for you to decide Shinji." Her own voice is full of unfamiliar agitation and cold anger that doesn't know where it wishes to be directed, but is quickly deciding that I am an acceptable target.
Something comes over me and the next thing I know my forehead slams itself against the stubborn girl who refuses to bend.
She meets me midway just as immovable.
"Stay. Here." I'm trying to protect you!
"No." So am I!
*SMASH*
Just as suddenly as the alarms went off, the shouting and screaming din that had become the background music to our battle of wills disappears the moment Father breaks his desk in half with a single, smoking fist.
It's only looking back that I find that fact unbelievable. I was just so… furious that it never occurred to me at the moment how impossible it was that my Father had just put his fist through six inches of reinforced steel alloy seemingly without injury or trouble.
To be fair I remember him doing impossible things when I was a toddler… but not for a long time.
Not since Mother passed away.
"You're with me on this, right Father!? Rei can't fight! Unit 0 isn't even safe to pilot!" I stomp, causing the steel floor to echo its strained displeasure throughout the silent room.
My first combat sortie had been restraining the damned thing when it went berserk!
"Pilot Ayanami is correct in this matter." Father says simply, walking past his broken desk and causing the rest of the assembled people in the command center to back away fearfully.
What.
I step forward, not noticing the technicians standing next to me flinch and step back from the catwalk as I set my burning gaze upon the bearded man who is looking down from the platform.
"You can't be serious Father! Sending Rei out there when she's this injured!? She'll die!" I snarl, gripping the railing of the catwalk.
It squeals in protest.
I squeeze harder and silence it.
"Yes. It is very likely that Rei will perish." Father has the audacity to shrug cross his arms and tilt his head.
"Then why!?"
"Because it is my decision to make." He says firmly, without room for misinterpretation.
"Father… you can't be serious…" The sudden strength that had filled my limbs since the alarms started blaring leaves me just as quickly and without warning.
I feel… betrayed.
My Father as strange as he is has never once been anything less than a man I respected.
Was he a cold man? Yes.
Not because he was distant or because he was cruel. But because he has trouble talking with people. Like Rei.
I can't… I refuse to believe that my father is so callous…
But...
"Shinj." His voice snaps me out of my disbelief.
More than the inhuman sight of him jumping from over a hundred feet in the air to land in front of me and Rei on the catwalk connected to Unit 1, feet and fist crumpling the heavy steel as if tin foil, it is the raw emotion that I hear from the two syllables that make up my name that captures my attention.
He stands.
He smiles.
Then he speaks.
"I am proud of you. Both of you. Your burning desire to safeguard the bond you so cherish is beautiful beyond paltry words." Father says solemnly and quiets himself in thought.
The room takes a collective breath at his pause, an undefinable energy begging to be released being charged in the air.
"The emotion of love is an unrelenting force, one that gives strength to go beyond human limit. It gives a person the ability to protect even when faced with a terrifying, seemingly undefeatable foe." He says, the steady beating of his heart audible to both Rei and I, placing his large hands on our shoulders with a soft expression.
"Father…"
"Uncle…"
Above us the restraints holding Unit 1 groans as the titan leans forward ever so slightly as if to listen.
"This is why you will stay behind as our last resort. Rei. You must believe in Shinji's strength of will to keep you safe as you would him if your roles were reversed." A loud rumble shakes the entire geofront causing a large slab of reinforced concrete to break and fall!
*CRACK!*
But a single, protective hand rises and bats away several tons of rock and metal as if it weighed nothing at all.
"That is what it means to trust." States Father, his gloved digits still outstretched and smoking from the thoughtless backhand that saved the three of us from certain death.
Above us there is another rumbling echo. It isn't from the Angel, however.
I don't know how... but Unit One is…
It's purring.
"Now go. Go with the knowledge that grasped within your trembling fist are all the hopes and dreams of the world. And whatever may happen in your battle with a monster who would destroy all we have, know this." This he says with an uptick of his lips that I haven't seen in so long that I thought it to be a dream along with the distant memories of being carefully carried from the rooftops of building to distant building.
The same hand that Father had used to impossibly smash aside the falling rubble once again finds itself on my shoulder with a gentle, but firm strength. "You are not alone my son."
With his peace said, the Commander of NERV places his hands behind his back and quietly walks towards the stairs amidst the shocked silence of the people who bore witness to his burning words and inexplicable strength.
The silence is broken by a single voice. I don't know who, but the inarticulate scream of animalistic approval that is taken up by the bridge and the words that followed...
"UUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
"C-commander!" Maya-san.
"That's right Shinji-kun! Go out there and kick that Angel's ass!" Misato-san.
"You can't let your old man show off like that and not do anything about it!" Aoba-san.
"Please leave something left to study Shinji-kun." Ritsuko-san.
A soft, pale hand finds itself holding a shaking fist clenching so hard that it draws blood. Not because I am scared. But because my heart is beating with untamed emotion.
"... Shinji…" Rei.
...Filled my heart with determination.
---
AN: I had a bug. It didn't want to go away :3
Where there would be a description of a story, only a single picture is needed to to explain where this madness originated from.
In short, Rokubungi Gendo was born a Shounen Protagonist
-
Chapter 1: Trust
Part 1: Not Alone
-
Ikari Shinji
April 20th, 2015
Geofront Hospital Level
Room 314 A
Most people say that they hate hospitals. It's said so often that it's become an overused cliche in many circles.
I guess I used to be the same way, but given how often I'm here due to Father's work and my cousin's many medical needs, the sterility of the environment kinda grew on me. She's actually the reason I'm here now lounging next to her on a free crash cart I dragged next to her bed.
Why am I not sitting in a visitor's chair?
"Shinji." The familiar voice of a blue haired, ruby eyed girl softly vies for my attention.
Well, my cousin's a little clingy around people that she's close to. Despite having her own music player and not exactly being a fan of classical, she wanted one of my earbuds. As far as I remember, she's always been that way ever since we were kids.
"Hm? What is it Rei?" I ask, not looking up from my manga even as a pale finger not covered in a cast poked my shoulder with a soft, but undeterrable insistence.
"I do not understand." She says, as if her contextless statement explains everything I need to know to answer her unexpanded question.
To elucidate, my cousin has a… developmental disorder I guess.
Well, more like she's a shut in that tries to understand people through light novels and manga, but it sounds better when I say she apparently had little to no human contact until she was about three years old. I get it though.
Rei… doesn't really have many friends. She can be strange and offputting and even while my friends are nice to her, they don't really get her. Not really.
I think Asuka is the only actual friend she has besides me, and that's because both of them were quiet as mice with a love of reading. And that was when we were seven.
"... you're doing that thing where you assume people know what you're talking about." I roll my eyes and shake my head at the faded memory of a quiet, red haired mouse and get my mind back into the present.
I wonder how she's doing in Germany? I should ask Misato-san for her new contact information...
"Oh. I'm sorry." Rei blinks with a slightly abashed look, but continues to pin me down with one of her 'please explain the world Shinji' looks that stopped being quite as cute years ago.
Sighing like Fuyutsuki sensei does when Father does something odd, I snap my tankoban closed and gently tap her on the forehead with it. "Don't worry about it. What were you saying?"
Rei only tilts her head to the side like a confused puppy despite the corner of my book pressing lightly into her forehead. "Why does Naruto care so much about Sasuke?"
I blink in turn, a little stumped.
"Uhh… well… I guess it's because they're friends?" I reply only to receive a deadpan look from my pale cousin. It's more than a little piercing with the way her only slightly disturbing red eyes narrow and darken in discontent.
Don't blame me for the lackluster answer! I've never really thought about it!
Unfortunately for me, Rei being Rei ignores what most people would understand as a politely worded 'I don't know' answer that still shows a level of interest in the conversation and begins extrapolating.
"But why are they friends? From what I have been able to understand neither their personalities and goals are aligned in a meaningful manner. In fact they are actively antagonistic to one another for most of their interactions despite their similar history."
"Err…"
"You and I for example have many reasons to be friends. We are distantly related by blood, have lived together in the same household for the majority of our lives, have many common hobbies and interests, and we both have the same after school occupation."
"Well sure, but-"
"In fact, representative Horaki had even believed we were pursuing a romantic relationship at one point-" Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhh
No. Nope. Not remembering that moment brain. Stooooooooooooooop. Please? Don't do it brain! Don't!
God damn it!
"Rei!" I clap and raise my voice, causing my situationally blabbermouth cousin to stop talking mid sentence and jerk in place with a pained wince. Probably from the way she jolted her injuries-
…
Uuuuugh. Now I feel like a jackass.
"Yes?" Smoothly she covers up her expression with a questioning look as I rubbed my face tiredly and try to ignore the dark blob that's already been forgiven eating away at my gut.
"Remember when we talked about the differences between talking to and talking at someone?" I ask dryly and without heat.
I'm annoyed sure.
"Oh. I'm sorry."
But I never get mad at her. Not normally.
"And stop apologizing!"
"... I'm… sorry?" She asks with that confused puppy dog look she's perfected years ago.
It's an expression I my poor heart that has a weakness for cute things has no defense against.
It's something I apparently share with my father as unbelievable as that idea is.
"Some days I swear you're doing this on purpose." I grumble, rubbing my temples-
I know I've already been punk'd by the expressionless face Rei puts on. "Doing what Pilot Ikari?"
"God damn it Rei."
"Hehe~" The troublesome girl giggles and has the audacity to stick her tongue out at me even though it earns her a like smack on the forehead once more. I can't help the small snort or the smile that sneaks its way onto my lips.
It's a comfortable escape, the little things that make up our everyday conversations I mean.
"... I guess it's because they're both lonely." I mumble, lying back with my hands behind my head in thought.
It takes a few minutes for Rei to chew through my words but when she does respond, it's equally contemplative...
"... I'm not sure I can understand that feeling. I've never felt that way before. You've always been with me for as long as I can remember." … and diabetes inducing.
God damn it Rei. How am I supposed to respond to that!?
I'm honestly a little moved despite how often Rei does this to me. "... yeah…" I just wish I was better at articulating my feelings.
It's a moot point though. Rei presses her uninjured left shoulder against mine in a show of understanding, an entire silent conversation passing by that no one else would understand even if they were here to watch.
I'm glad you're here.
Me too.
It's pretty crazy that people can be so close to one another even if we're separated by so many barriers, isn't it?-
The familiar sound of alarms punctuated by the unfamiliar statement of it not being a drill, rings loudly throughout the geofront.
Oh. Shit.
For a long moment I'm frozen. I know what the alarm means and I know that I need to get to the EVA cages as fast as possible…
But…
I can't-
"Nngh!" Next to me Rei gasps in pain as she attempts to throw herself off her hospital bed and reach for the crutches she had knocked away accidentally-
Rei!
Like the pop of a shook up soda can, strength returns to my limbs, my mind sharpens, and I move. "Stay!" The word is out of my mouth as I jump off the crash cart and begin running to where I need to be.
"Wait! Shinji!" I stop.
I know that tone of voice.
"Don't you dare go anywhere! I'm coming right back, okay Rei?"
"...understood…" My cousin whispers quietly as I glare into her eyes from the doorway.
With my pounding heart slightly settled in the knowledge that Rei isn't going to do something stupid, I run faster than I've ever run towards the elevator.
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTeCZk12z64
It's as I finish suiting up and make my way into the EVA cages that I'm treated to the sight of dozens of grown men and women from all walks of light squabbling like kids at the playground who only have one ball. Around them are a sea of familiar faces rushing back and forth from consoles and shouting for status reports. Attempting to take charge of the situation and bring a sense of calm is a serious Misato-san who is doing her best to take control of the chaos and panic that has infected near everyone in the room barring one person.
Above us all and seated on the command chair is my ever expressionless father with his gloved hands customarily folded before him.
But that's not what causes me to pause and glare at the one person who has captured the entirety of my attention.
Of course she didn't listen.
"Rei. What. The. Hell." I state furiously.
I'm angry.
I'm seriously angry.
What the hell do you think you're doing!?
"You're not going out there alone. That is unacceptable to me." The slip of a girl who is currently sitting in a wheelchair and bound in more bandages than there is visible person says just as frostily and matches my glare with one of her own.
I won't allow it.
"Don't be stupid Rei! You can't go out there like this!" I growl and slam my hands onto the armrests of her wheelchair.
Rei doesn't flinch back
"That is not for you to decide Shinji." Her own voice is full of unfamiliar agitation and cold anger that doesn't know where it wishes to be directed, but is quickly deciding that I am an acceptable target.
Something comes over me and the next thing I know my forehead slams itself against the stubborn girl who refuses to bend.
She meets me midway just as immovable.
"Stay. Here." I'm trying to protect you!
"No." So am I!
*SMASH*
Just as suddenly as the alarms went off, the shouting and screaming din that had become the background music to our battle of wills disappears the moment Father breaks his desk in half with a single, smoking fist.
It's only looking back that I find that fact unbelievable. I was just so… furious that it never occurred to me at the moment how impossible it was that my Father had just put his fist through six inches of reinforced steel alloy seemingly without injury or trouble.
To be fair I remember him doing impossible things when I was a toddler… but not for a long time.
Not since Mother passed away.
"You're with me on this, right Father!? Rei can't fight! Unit 0 isn't even safe to pilot!" I stomp, causing the steel floor to echo its strained displeasure throughout the silent room.
My first combat sortie had been restraining the damned thing when it went berserk!
"Pilot Ayanami is correct in this matter." Father says simply, walking past his broken desk and causing the rest of the assembled people in the command center to back away fearfully.
What.
I step forward, not noticing the technicians standing next to me flinch and step back from the catwalk as I set my burning gaze upon the bearded man who is looking down from the platform.
"You can't be serious Father! Sending Rei out there when she's this injured!? She'll die!" I snarl, gripping the railing of the catwalk.
It squeals in protest.
I squeeze harder and silence it.
"Yes. It is very likely that Rei will perish." Father has the audacity to shrug cross his arms and tilt his head.
"Then why!?"
"Because it is my decision to make." He says firmly, without room for misinterpretation.
"Father… you can't be serious…" The sudden strength that had filled my limbs since the alarms started blaring leaves me just as quickly and without warning.
I feel… betrayed.
My Father as strange as he is has never once been anything less than a man I respected.
Was he a cold man? Yes.
Not because he was distant or because he was cruel. But because he has trouble talking with people. Like Rei.
I can't… I refuse to believe that my father is so callous…
But...
"Shinj." His voice snaps me out of my disbelief.
More than the inhuman sight of him jumping from over a hundred feet in the air to land in front of me and Rei on the catwalk connected to Unit 1, feet and fist crumpling the heavy steel as if tin foil, it is the raw emotion that I hear from the two syllables that make up my name that captures my attention.
He stands.
He smiles.
Then he speaks.
"I am proud of you. Both of you. Your burning desire to safeguard the bond you so cherish is beautiful beyond paltry words." Father says solemnly and quiets himself in thought.
The room takes a collective breath at his pause, an undefinable energy begging to be released being charged in the air.
"The emotion of love is an unrelenting force, one that gives strength to go beyond human limit. It gives a person the ability to protect even when faced with a terrifying, seemingly undefeatable foe." He says, the steady beating of his heart audible to both Rei and I, placing his large hands on our shoulders with a soft expression.
"Father…"
"Uncle…"
Above us the restraints holding Unit 1 groans as the titan leans forward ever so slightly as if to listen.
"This is why you will stay behind as our last resort. Rei. You must believe in Shinji's strength of will to keep you safe as you would him if your roles were reversed." A loud rumble shakes the entire geofront causing a large slab of reinforced concrete to break and fall!
*CRACK!*
But a single, protective hand rises and bats away several tons of rock and metal as if it weighed nothing at all.
"That is what it means to trust." States Father, his gloved digits still outstretched and smoking from the thoughtless backhand that saved the three of us from certain death.
Above us there is another rumbling echo. It isn't from the Angel, however.
I don't know how... but Unit One is…
It's purring.
"Now go. Go with the knowledge that grasped within your trembling fist are all the hopes and dreams of the world. And whatever may happen in your battle with a monster who would destroy all we have, know this." This he says with an uptick of his lips that I haven't seen in so long that I thought it to be a dream along with the distant memories of being carefully carried from the rooftops of building to distant building.
The same hand that Father had used to impossibly smash aside the falling rubble once again finds itself on my shoulder with a gentle, but firm strength. "You are not alone my son."
With his peace said, the Commander of NERV places his hands behind his back and quietly walks towards the stairs amidst the shocked silence of the people who bore witness to his burning words and inexplicable strength.
The silence is broken by a single voice. I don't know who, but the inarticulate scream of animalistic approval that is taken up by the bridge and the words that followed...
"UUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
"C-commander!" Maya-san.
"That's right Shinji-kun! Go out there and kick that Angel's ass!" Misato-san.
"You can't let your old man show off like that and not do anything about it!" Aoba-san.
"Please leave something left to study Shinji-kun." Ritsuko-san.
A soft, pale hand finds itself holding a shaking fist clenching so hard that it draws blood. Not because I am scared. But because my heart is beating with untamed emotion.
"... Shinji…" Rei.
...Filled my heart with determination.
---
AN: I had a bug. It didn't want to go away :3
Last edited:
Misato 1
konamikode
Cooking Harder
Memoirs of Ikari Gendo Sidestory
A companion piece offering insight into one of the most enigmatic men to have ever lived.
Memoir 1: The Commander's Mysterious Lunch Box
-
I am not an unobservant man. I am well aware that my subordinates view me as an unapproachable and terrifying superior. Thus I have always made it a part of my duties to separate myself from them during meal and break times so that they may seek the comforting comradery of their colleagues in their shared fear of an oppressive overlord. Fuyutsuki sensei disapproves and says that I am being foolish for not creating a rapport with my precious subordinates, but what am I to do? Simply sit down at one of their tables and watch as they tremble and fail to make small talk for fear of alienating themselves to me? That would only cause undue friction and worry in my young heroes of the future.
Unfortunately I am a forgetful man and had foolishly not thought to bring my lunch with me in the chaos of the morning. This is regrettable as I had arrived home late in the evening and have had no opportunity to eat dinner nor breakfast with our hectic schedule. I was ravenous enough to have considered having pizza delivered to an openly secret military base, but was quickly chastised by Fuyutsuki.
As for why I have forgotten my lunch yet again… or rather, the reason I hadn't remembered to make one...
My niece is a very heavy sleeper and is slow to wake in the morning despite mine and my son's best efforts. It is a shamefully regular occurrence that I have to break dozens of driving laws in order to get them to school on time, another of my many sins that will come to light upon the release of my personal memoirs to the world after the end of this conflict. But that is something that the world will judge me for once this is all over.
So it is only with great reluctance that I am currently sitting next to a paling First Lieutenant Katsuragi in the dining area who is doing her absolute best to chew, speak, breathe, and continue living all at the same time. My understanding glance seems not to have the desired effect as the fresh out of officer school military woman seems to believe falling unconscious is a preferable alternative to her belief that she is making a fool of herself while in the waking world.
I attempt to descalate the scenario by looking away and quietly returning to my meal. This seems to work until I pull out my day planner to review what is next on my task list and she pales further at the red pen I have brought out to cross out finished taskings with. Again I look her way with a self deprecating smile of a forgetful middle aged man waiting for his ramen to finish cooking.
"Please don't fire me Commander!" She begs, forehead slamming roughly onto the wooden table as everyone in the room watches with horrified eyes!
This isn't what I intended. So I clarify the misunderstanding as best I can.
"I do not conduct work reviews while dining Lieutenant Katsuragi." I say with a raised eyebrow to show that I am making a simple attempt at office humor, ensuring that I inject my subjects and verb with a heavy deal of much practiced sarcasm.
Unfortunately my reassurance has the opposite outcome to what I had hoped for.
"Oh god the commander knows my name." She quavers and mutters quietly, but loudly enough that I can hear her. This means she must be aware that she is speaking aloud and is asking for verbal input?
"Of course I do Lieutenant. I personally go through everyone's resume to ensure that only the best, most talented are given the opportunity to work here." Though there have been a few less than stellar employees that needed replacing…
"Heep!" The young Lieutenant squeaks and cowers in her seat further as the stares of horror surrounding us grow ever more fearful-
Ah. Did I speak out loud just now?
"Are you wearing those horrible spectacles again, Ikari-kun?"
Thankfully my old friend and mentor, Kozo Fuyutsuki arrived to save me from any further social blunders.
"Fuyutsuki." I growl without heat.
We've been debating about this for a time. I am of the belief that my new tinted sunglasses make me appear both commanding and approachable. Fuyutsuki however, does not see it that way.
If only my dearest Yui were here to make our unfashionable old teacher see reason.
It is with a sigh of defeat that my second in command steps around to sit down in front of the beleaguered young Katsuragi, but not before placing a familiarly wrapped bento in front of me with a soft cough. "Your son and niece called and said you forgot your lunch again. I had section two go and pick it up from their school.." He explains, looking away and quietly pulling out his own similarly blue cloth wrapped lunch box out from behind his back and opening it.
My sunglasses hide my blink of surprise when the older man flinches and clenches at his heart while looking away into the distance with a fond gaze.
...Sensei?
Shaking my head slightly I unwrap my clumsily wrapped bento and…?
...and…
Glancing at my mentor's own lunch, it was immediately apparent who made which. Shinji's were well formed and looked appetizing while Rei's were lumpy and the rice more akin to mush than the softly shining grains they were supposed to be.
Of course they tasted horrible.
That did not matter to me, however.
Why?
Because with every overcooked and underseasoned bite of ill tasting, malformed balls of goop...
(You always look tired Uncle. Please don't forget to take care of yourself.)
-Rei
… was a flavor packed full of dedication and hard work of a young girl who only wanted to help a foolish man who buried himself in the excuse of work to hide from his family.
My heart rumbled hotly. Familiarly.
As a man of the world…
How could I not eat it?
My right fist gripped over my face hard enough to loudly pop throughout the entirety of the near deathly silent dining area, I ate.
With a taste that reminded me more of Yui's first attempts at home cooking, I ate.
Filled with an overflowing sense of emotion cascading down my clenched eyes, I ate.
My heart, thumping my warming… no... burning lifeblood through my very veins for the first time since Yui had given me Rei only a month after her passing…
I. Ate.
I never noticed the way Misato Katsuragi and the rest of the dining hall watching with widened eyes and disbelieving rubs of said organs. But from the way she recalled the story years later, I believe it is here and due to the concerned actions of two young children that the atmosphere at NERV slowly began to change for the better.
The day I, Commander Gendo Ikari of Nerv openly shed tears over a bento made by an earnest young child and became slightly more human in the eyes of my colleagues.
Memoirs of Gendo Ikari (April 16th, 2008)
-
March 7th, 2015
Geofront
Commander's Office
Misato Katsuragi
It's been seven years since I've started working at NERV and two years since I've been promoted to Operations Director. During this time through hard work and dedication I've gone up the ranks and have been entrusted with secrets and tasks that would drive any sane person mad.
Such as the job I've been handling ever since I was assigned to the apartment next door to the Commander's family upon my promotion two years ago.
"Good afternoon Colonel. What brings you to my office?" Gendo Ikari asks, some how politely looming over me from his overly dark and foreboding office.
"Your lunch sir." I deadpan, holding up the scuffed bento by the faded blue cloth and flicking on the lights with a scolding look.
The Commander of NERV Japan is known by most as a terrifying leader who rules with a cunning, yet necessary cruelty to shield the world from the threat of extinction.
"I see. You may leave it here and break for your own meal."
I know him as a forgetful, dorkish, awkward man-child who somehow has the charisma that makes everyone want to follow him with a short sentence.
"Aaaaaaand to make sure you actually eat." I grumble with a roll of my eyes, placing his lunch in front of his clasped hands. Looking at the seated man expectantly, I only take my own chair once he capitulates with a mournful sigh and tired rub of his eyes with a gloved hand.
"... I'm not a child Colonel Katsuragi."
I know of at least five people who would beg to differ, sir.
"Your son and niece seem to believe differently Commander. I don't actually have a choice in the matter." Grumping to myself, I open my own expertly packaged bento with a well hidden sense of childish glee.
Hoho! What has mama Shin-chan packed for Misato-san today…?
A glee which quickly consumes itself as I take in the contents of the bento along with the folded note placed in the side.
(You went over your beer limit yesterday Misato-san. I checked your refrigerator this morning so don't bother complaining later.)
-Shinji
Why do you do this to me Shinji? I'm your legal guardian when your father isn't available! You should appreciate your hard working caretaker with praise and comfort food! Not this… this… green stuff!
"Is that so?" But, with the Commander in front of me I too am a hapless prisoner forced to eat her veggies like a five year old. Mournfully taking a chopstick full of steamed broccoli and brown rice, I grumble and take a bite of my meal (it's totally not good darn it!) and reply as the Commander makes a stilted attempt at small talk.
"Unfortunately so sir. Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki made it quite clear that if he doesn't get to enjoy a home cooked meal for lunch, then nobody in the base will be eating anything except the military rations in storage. Which are due to expire in a week's time."
"Military rations can expire?" An actual questioning lilt enters his voice.
It strikes me that this is one of those rare moments of the world when you witness something miraculous.
Of course I have a slightly more pressing issue to get through.
Hey, nobody ever said making small talk with Ikari Gendo was easy.
"Yes sir. Post impact allowed plenty of opportunities to expend old war stocks. While edible, the taste becomes… further undesirable."
"I see. That is a problem." The Commander furrows his brows.
!!!!
Uh-oh.
"Staff morale would plummet greatly until the situation is resolved, yes." I explain slowly, making sure that there is no room for misunderstanding.
"Colonel, I order you to immediately have our stocks of soon to expire rations be put on the menu exclusively for the next month." Exactly two weeks since he decided he would personally help clean the EVA cages with our overworked janitorial staff, real heat enters into his voice-
What.
"Commander… if you could explain your reasoning?" I try.
"This is a grave logistical and moral error that must be rectified post haste. Even with our effectively unlimited budget, we of NERV cannot afford to become opulent. New stocks will be ordered within the day, however that does not mean the old rations will go to waste. In this time of scarcity, we must keep hold of lessons learned through the aftermath of the impact."
"Wait, Commander-" Really, I do.
"Indeed Colonel Katsuragi, it seems there are many lessons that the Sub-Commander still has for us to learn. As a man who lived through the turbulent years of the cold war, it appears that to him this era is simply a repeat of history he has already experienced."
"But what to do with our current stock of perishables… ah, yes. The soup kitchens are always in need of donations and the cruelties of society to the underprivileged have sadly carried over to this new generation. There is also the matter of underused funding to consider… yes, of course. This is an opportunity to begin work programs for those in need while best utilizing our resources to give strength to those who wish for a better tomorrow-" During this time of muttered explanation, the Commander's fingers of his left hand are flying across his keyboard all the while calmly eating his handmade lunch.
Shaking my head, I exit the room and bid the Commander a good day before pulling out my phone and calling the only person in the world who might have a chance at curbing his madness.
Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki Kozo is prompt in picking up his personal cell. "Lieutenant Colonel? Is something wrong? I expected an email after the lunch hour was finished not a phone call-"
"The Commander is having another of his… misunderstandings. Please talk some sense into him before the entirety of NERV decides to mutiny… and come together to help bear the weight of the world that is crushing our tragic, but heroic Commander. Again." I interrupt one of the most powerful men in the world with the defeated voice of a woman who knows the next month of life is going to be a delicious morseless existence.
"What has he done now?" Fuyutsuki doesn't sigh so much as physically lean against the metaphysical wall that he wishes was present.
Poor man. How he's lived this long as a personal friend of the Commander, I'll never know. "He's calling your bluff in his usual belief that people only have the best of intentions Sub-Commander. He's going to be giving out our food and funding to the needy while having us eat the rations we were going to get rid of next week."
"Hmm…" I can feel him straighten at the other end of the signal, old gears beginning to turn as he interprets something else than I have entirely.
Joy.
"Sub-Commander?"
"... a PR game that will increase good will with the people as well as swelling the hearts of our employees by reaffirming their roles as the staunch defenders of humanity… well played Gendo… well played… Good work Katsuragi. Thank you for bringing this to my attention so quickly, I'll have to activate one of my pro bono contingencies earlier than expected." He mutters before cutting the connection. As if he and the Commander are simply playing a back and forth shadow game with the staff of NERV Japan as their unwitting pawns.
…
Am I just not seeing it? I mean, it's silly right?
There's no way that my awkward, horrible at first impressions, but well meaning and kind hearted boss who is attempting to save the world is some kind of megalomaniacal evil genius hell bent on spending all of our lives on some crazily convoluted plan of unfathomable consequence.
Right?
I open his door and sneak a peek just to make sure he isn't doing anything diabolical while out of the public eye-
"An event for the local schools perhaps? It would do the children good to see how much help the world still needs-" Gendo Ikari mutters to himself, carefully using his spoon to cut around the artfully drawn ketchup heart of his omurice with an expression that could distantly be related to a soft smile.
hnng-
…
God damn it Commander! A man your age and unapproachability shouldn't have a cute side!
-
A companion piece offering insight into one of the most enigmatic men to have ever lived.
Memoir 1: The Commander's Mysterious Lunch Box
-
I am not an unobservant man. I am well aware that my subordinates view me as an unapproachable and terrifying superior. Thus I have always made it a part of my duties to separate myself from them during meal and break times so that they may seek the comforting comradery of their colleagues in their shared fear of an oppressive overlord. Fuyutsuki sensei disapproves and says that I am being foolish for not creating a rapport with my precious subordinates, but what am I to do? Simply sit down at one of their tables and watch as they tremble and fail to make small talk for fear of alienating themselves to me? That would only cause undue friction and worry in my young heroes of the future.
Unfortunately I am a forgetful man and had foolishly not thought to bring my lunch with me in the chaos of the morning. This is regrettable as I had arrived home late in the evening and have had no opportunity to eat dinner nor breakfast with our hectic schedule. I was ravenous enough to have considered having pizza delivered to an openly secret military base, but was quickly chastised by Fuyutsuki.
As for why I have forgotten my lunch yet again… or rather, the reason I hadn't remembered to make one...
My niece is a very heavy sleeper and is slow to wake in the morning despite mine and my son's best efforts. It is a shamefully regular occurrence that I have to break dozens of driving laws in order to get them to school on time, another of my many sins that will come to light upon the release of my personal memoirs to the world after the end of this conflict. But that is something that the world will judge me for once this is all over.
So it is only with great reluctance that I am currently sitting next to a paling First Lieutenant Katsuragi in the dining area who is doing her absolute best to chew, speak, breathe, and continue living all at the same time. My understanding glance seems not to have the desired effect as the fresh out of officer school military woman seems to believe falling unconscious is a preferable alternative to her belief that she is making a fool of herself while in the waking world.
I attempt to descalate the scenario by looking away and quietly returning to my meal. This seems to work until I pull out my day planner to review what is next on my task list and she pales further at the red pen I have brought out to cross out finished taskings with. Again I look her way with a self deprecating smile of a forgetful middle aged man waiting for his ramen to finish cooking.
"Please don't fire me Commander!" She begs, forehead slamming roughly onto the wooden table as everyone in the room watches with horrified eyes!
This isn't what I intended. So I clarify the misunderstanding as best I can.
"I do not conduct work reviews while dining Lieutenant Katsuragi." I say with a raised eyebrow to show that I am making a simple attempt at office humor, ensuring that I inject my subjects and verb with a heavy deal of much practiced sarcasm.
Unfortunately my reassurance has the opposite outcome to what I had hoped for.
"Oh god the commander knows my name." She quavers and mutters quietly, but loudly enough that I can hear her. This means she must be aware that she is speaking aloud and is asking for verbal input?
"Of course I do Lieutenant. I personally go through everyone's resume to ensure that only the best, most talented are given the opportunity to work here." Though there have been a few less than stellar employees that needed replacing…
"Heep!" The young Lieutenant squeaks and cowers in her seat further as the stares of horror surrounding us grow ever more fearful-
Ah. Did I speak out loud just now?
"Are you wearing those horrible spectacles again, Ikari-kun?"
Thankfully my old friend and mentor, Kozo Fuyutsuki arrived to save me from any further social blunders.
"Fuyutsuki." I growl without heat.
We've been debating about this for a time. I am of the belief that my new tinted sunglasses make me appear both commanding and approachable. Fuyutsuki however, does not see it that way.
If only my dearest Yui were here to make our unfashionable old teacher see reason.
It is with a sigh of defeat that my second in command steps around to sit down in front of the beleaguered young Katsuragi, but not before placing a familiarly wrapped bento in front of me with a soft cough. "Your son and niece called and said you forgot your lunch again. I had section two go and pick it up from their school.." He explains, looking away and quietly pulling out his own similarly blue cloth wrapped lunch box out from behind his back and opening it.
My sunglasses hide my blink of surprise when the older man flinches and clenches at his heart while looking away into the distance with a fond gaze.
...Sensei?
Shaking my head slightly I unwrap my clumsily wrapped bento and…?
...and…
Glancing at my mentor's own lunch, it was immediately apparent who made which. Shinji's were well formed and looked appetizing while Rei's were lumpy and the rice more akin to mush than the softly shining grains they were supposed to be.
Of course they tasted horrible.
That did not matter to me, however.
Why?
Because with every overcooked and underseasoned bite of ill tasting, malformed balls of goop...
(You always look tired Uncle. Please don't forget to take care of yourself.)
-Rei
… was a flavor packed full of dedication and hard work of a young girl who only wanted to help a foolish man who buried himself in the excuse of work to hide from his family.
My heart rumbled hotly. Familiarly.
As a man of the world…
How could I not eat it?
My right fist gripped over my face hard enough to loudly pop throughout the entirety of the near deathly silent dining area, I ate.
With a taste that reminded me more of Yui's first attempts at home cooking, I ate.
Filled with an overflowing sense of emotion cascading down my clenched eyes, I ate.
My heart, thumping my warming… no... burning lifeblood through my very veins for the first time since Yui had given me Rei only a month after her passing…
I. Ate.
I never noticed the way Misato Katsuragi and the rest of the dining hall watching with widened eyes and disbelieving rubs of said organs. But from the way she recalled the story years later, I believe it is here and due to the concerned actions of two young children that the atmosphere at NERV slowly began to change for the better.
The day I, Commander Gendo Ikari of Nerv openly shed tears over a bento made by an earnest young child and became slightly more human in the eyes of my colleagues.
Memoirs of Gendo Ikari (April 16th, 2008)
-
March 7th, 2015
Geofront
Commander's Office
Misato Katsuragi
It's been seven years since I've started working at NERV and two years since I've been promoted to Operations Director. During this time through hard work and dedication I've gone up the ranks and have been entrusted with secrets and tasks that would drive any sane person mad.
Such as the job I've been handling ever since I was assigned to the apartment next door to the Commander's family upon my promotion two years ago.
"Good afternoon Colonel. What brings you to my office?" Gendo Ikari asks, some how politely looming over me from his overly dark and foreboding office.
"Your lunch sir." I deadpan, holding up the scuffed bento by the faded blue cloth and flicking on the lights with a scolding look.
The Commander of NERV Japan is known by most as a terrifying leader who rules with a cunning, yet necessary cruelty to shield the world from the threat of extinction.
"I see. You may leave it here and break for your own meal."
I know him as a forgetful, dorkish, awkward man-child who somehow has the charisma that makes everyone want to follow him with a short sentence.
"Aaaaaaand to make sure you actually eat." I grumble with a roll of my eyes, placing his lunch in front of his clasped hands. Looking at the seated man expectantly, I only take my own chair once he capitulates with a mournful sigh and tired rub of his eyes with a gloved hand.
"... I'm not a child Colonel Katsuragi."
I know of at least five people who would beg to differ, sir.
"Your son and niece seem to believe differently Commander. I don't actually have a choice in the matter." Grumping to myself, I open my own expertly packaged bento with a well hidden sense of childish glee.
Hoho! What has mama Shin-chan packed for Misato-san today…?
A glee which quickly consumes itself as I take in the contents of the bento along with the folded note placed in the side.
(You went over your beer limit yesterday Misato-san. I checked your refrigerator this morning so don't bother complaining later.)
-Shinji
Why do you do this to me Shinji? I'm your legal guardian when your father isn't available! You should appreciate your hard working caretaker with praise and comfort food! Not this… this… green stuff!
"Is that so?" But, with the Commander in front of me I too am a hapless prisoner forced to eat her veggies like a five year old. Mournfully taking a chopstick full of steamed broccoli and brown rice, I grumble and take a bite of my meal (it's totally not good darn it!) and reply as the Commander makes a stilted attempt at small talk.
"Unfortunately so sir. Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki made it quite clear that if he doesn't get to enjoy a home cooked meal for lunch, then nobody in the base will be eating anything except the military rations in storage. Which are due to expire in a week's time."
"Military rations can expire?" An actual questioning lilt enters his voice.
It strikes me that this is one of those rare moments of the world when you witness something miraculous.
Of course I have a slightly more pressing issue to get through.
Hey, nobody ever said making small talk with Ikari Gendo was easy.
"Yes sir. Post impact allowed plenty of opportunities to expend old war stocks. While edible, the taste becomes… further undesirable."
"I see. That is a problem." The Commander furrows his brows.
!!!!
Uh-oh.
"Staff morale would plummet greatly until the situation is resolved, yes." I explain slowly, making sure that there is no room for misunderstanding.
"Colonel, I order you to immediately have our stocks of soon to expire rations be put on the menu exclusively for the next month." Exactly two weeks since he decided he would personally help clean the EVA cages with our overworked janitorial staff, real heat enters into his voice-
What.
"Commander… if you could explain your reasoning?" I try.
"This is a grave logistical and moral error that must be rectified post haste. Even with our effectively unlimited budget, we of NERV cannot afford to become opulent. New stocks will be ordered within the day, however that does not mean the old rations will go to waste. In this time of scarcity, we must keep hold of lessons learned through the aftermath of the impact."
"Wait, Commander-" Really, I do.
"Indeed Colonel Katsuragi, it seems there are many lessons that the Sub-Commander still has for us to learn. As a man who lived through the turbulent years of the cold war, it appears that to him this era is simply a repeat of history he has already experienced."
"But what to do with our current stock of perishables… ah, yes. The soup kitchens are always in need of donations and the cruelties of society to the underprivileged have sadly carried over to this new generation. There is also the matter of underused funding to consider… yes, of course. This is an opportunity to begin work programs for those in need while best utilizing our resources to give strength to those who wish for a better tomorrow-" During this time of muttered explanation, the Commander's fingers of his left hand are flying across his keyboard all the while calmly eating his handmade lunch.
Shaking my head, I exit the room and bid the Commander a good day before pulling out my phone and calling the only person in the world who might have a chance at curbing his madness.
Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki Kozo is prompt in picking up his personal cell. "Lieutenant Colonel? Is something wrong? I expected an email after the lunch hour was finished not a phone call-"
"The Commander is having another of his… misunderstandings. Please talk some sense into him before the entirety of NERV decides to mutiny… and come together to help bear the weight of the world that is crushing our tragic, but heroic Commander. Again." I interrupt one of the most powerful men in the world with the defeated voice of a woman who knows the next month of life is going to be a delicious morseless existence.
"What has he done now?" Fuyutsuki doesn't sigh so much as physically lean against the metaphysical wall that he wishes was present.
Poor man. How he's lived this long as a personal friend of the Commander, I'll never know. "He's calling your bluff in his usual belief that people only have the best of intentions Sub-Commander. He's going to be giving out our food and funding to the needy while having us eat the rations we were going to get rid of next week."
"Hmm…" I can feel him straighten at the other end of the signal, old gears beginning to turn as he interprets something else than I have entirely.
Joy.
"Sub-Commander?"
"... a PR game that will increase good will with the people as well as swelling the hearts of our employees by reaffirming their roles as the staunch defenders of humanity… well played Gendo… well played… Good work Katsuragi. Thank you for bringing this to my attention so quickly, I'll have to activate one of my pro bono contingencies earlier than expected." He mutters before cutting the connection. As if he and the Commander are simply playing a back and forth shadow game with the staff of NERV Japan as their unwitting pawns.
…
Am I just not seeing it? I mean, it's silly right?
There's no way that my awkward, horrible at first impressions, but well meaning and kind hearted boss who is attempting to save the world is some kind of megalomaniacal evil genius hell bent on spending all of our lives on some crazily convoluted plan of unfathomable consequence.
Right?
I open his door and sneak a peek just to make sure he isn't doing anything diabolical while out of the public eye-
"An event for the local schools perhaps? It would do the children good to see how much help the world still needs-" Gendo Ikari mutters to himself, carefully using his spoon to cut around the artfully drawn ketchup heart of his omurice with an expression that could distantly be related to a soft smile.
hnng-
…
God damn it Commander! A man your age and unapproachability shouldn't have a cute side!
-
1-2: Pattern RED
konamikode
Cooking Harder
Chapter 1: Trust
Part 1: Pattern RED
-
Ikari Shinji
April 20th, 2015
Tokyo 3
Evangelion Unit 01
-
As the catapult rockets me and my warmachine through thousands of feet of earth and defensive plating, I can feel Unit 01's hands clench and unclench not entirely of my own accord. It's as if the titan of steel and muscle surrounding me is feeding off of my desire to meet the Angel head on. To rip and tear the thing that wants to destroy everything important in my life without even the vaguest explanation.
I don't like that.
Not. One. Bit.
Unit 01 agrees. I can feel its rumbling discontent through the LCL.
Looking up I can see light in the distance streaming through the cameras as the tunnel exit opens.
Magnetic locks disengage and I will Unit 01 to crouch lowly against the platform and coil the strength of its legs in preparation. As soon as we breach the opening, I jump hundreds of feet into the sky to land deftly on top of the reinforced apartment building acting as a supply point and sniper's nest. Without taking my eyes off the expressionless mask of the Angel who is staring curiously in my direction, I automatically plug the umbilical cable into Unit 01's spine and grab an M144 Crossbow.
More from muscle memory than cognitively making a decision, I pull up the already loaded and charging electromagnetic crossbow to Unit 01's shoulder, aim, and fire the high velocity penetrator at the seemingly unprotected core of the Angel. The heavy kinetic payload flies true, but only a few dozen feet from hitting its target, the hundred foot long bolt of metal deforms into a flat circle before bouncing off the see through orange barrier and crushing a large truck under it.
"... yeah that would've been too easy." Expected, but irritating.
Carefully placing the worthless, but phenomenally expensive, weapon back into the building's housing, I drop down from the building in a low crouch before standing up and cracking Unit 01's and my neck.
I don't feel like playing duck hunt anyway.
The monstrous creature turns to face me fully with a tilt of its masked head as if asking...
'Is that it?'
…
That really, really pisses me off.
"Shinji-kun, remember you have to neutralize the Angel's AT field before you can hurt it-" I can hear Misato-san's voice feeding me tactical advice from the small holoscreen at the corner of my doubled vision.
Outwardly I calmly acknowledge her coaching more from long ingrained habit than anything.
Inwardly a part of my mind realizes from painfully long lessons of metabiological theory taught by Ritsuko-san that an Absolute Terror Field is literally a tangible force field that separates the self from the world. A defensive tool so powerful that it takes another sufficiently strong ego to force the barrier down. I never really understood the science behind it, but Dr. Akagi made a comparison that resonated with me.
"Sometimes the only way to make a person change is by the intervention of another human being. Well, in this case what could be classified as a kaiju and a giant man-made battle robot."
That I could understand.
"Shinji's sync rate has jumped from 58.9 to 103.4 percent!"
"What!?"
A synchronized beat of my Evangelion's biomechanical heart and that of my own thudding organ later, I run forward.
"Wait-"
Faster.
The creature who seemed to regard my presence before as an idle curiosity flinches back and attempts to turn away from the truth of the world by hiding behind its childish denial.
The hexagonal representation of its unwillingness to acknowledge reality folds like a ratty baby blanket in the face of a titanic, armor plated fist breaking through the sound barrier like so much paper mache-
*CLANG!*
Only for my(?) fist to be stopped dead by the Angel's spindly outstretched limb.
"What the…" How…?
"SHINJI! MOVE!" Misato-san's voice breaks through my unbelieving stare as the dark pits staring directly at my face light up brightly-
My own eyes widening, I do the only thing that comes to mind with my right fist being trapped in the grip of the black and white monster and smash my horned forehead into it's face! In a bright explosion of light followed by a burning pain on the left side of my face, I grit my teeth and force my right hand through the increasingly hurtful corona of pink energy and grip it's head by the mask.
Not once. Not twice. But three times do I pull my head back and slam it into breaking bone. I do this without thought from pulling back through the armor and flesh blistering beam of energy that finally cuts off with a pained cry. Finally unwilling to continue seeing who has the harder skull, the Third Angel lets go of my arm and slugs me in the face with it's right.
The level of destruction the impact causes is staggering. Not only to Unit 01, but to the fortress city's streets and buildings that make up our battleground. The impact of the fist itself breaks several bones in my jaw and if I'm lucky only knocked out a few metal(?) teeth. Windows are blown out and anything not rooted to the earth is sent flying in the wake of the vacuum created in my passing. The kinetic energy imparted through the blow is so great that I'm sent flying nearly a mile down the street and left without the mental faculties to even begin to attempt a controlled landing.
Sparks fly as my body skids and bounces painfully against breaking concrete and steel, face stopping only inches from the entrance to an underground shelter.
Hwaaarghgbhbh...
The multitude of alerts flashing dangerously in front of my face along with the panicked chatter of the support crew doesn't make it any easier to get my head back on straight.
Thankfully noticing that I'm still reeling physically and mentally from the punch, Ritsuko-san remotely turns down the volume of everyone speaking except for herself and Misato-san before speaking up again. "Shinji-kun! Are you alright!?"
"Feels like I just got a face full of baseball bat, but I think I'm good." I say, experimentally moving my and the EVA's neck with a wince. "...this is the residential zone isn't it?"
"Good, good you had a momentary loss of consciousness, but you seem alert. Thankfully the LCL seems to have done its work in cushioning your body from being thrown around the cockpit. Your vitals are reading stable and Unit 01 is… relatively undamaged."
"I get that my jaw hurts but my hand, left side of my face, and forehead feels like someone dumped boiling water on them…"
"As a doctor I wouldn't recommend that you stick your hand and face into shiny lights of any kind Shinji-kun. Run that brain scan again, I want to be sure that he isn't concussed-" The false blonde rolls her eyes with a fond, but worried expression that takes over her lips as she looks to the side at another technician.
Ah… right.
Sorry, Unit 01, but you can just grow back your brain cells right?
The feeling of a ghostly hand slapping the back of my head is strange, but I'm still a little woozy.
-
"This is bad Misato, we didn't catch it before because it was so small at the time, but there's some minor swelling in the back of his skull and the psychosomatic feedback from the Angel's attack isn't doing his brain any favors!"
"Can you fix it Ritsuko!?"
"I'm already having his plugsuit administer a dose of anti-edemas and increasing the oxygen level of the LCL, but we still need another few minutes to ascertain how bad the damage is. You need to pull him back at least until we can see if we're sending him into a losing fight or certain death."
"Damn it. Alright, Hyuuga! Patch me back into Unit 01 and send a ranged package to sector C8-12A-"
-
Misato-san chimes in this time with a serious look undercut with visible relief. "Shinji-kun, the Angel looks like it's moving towards you, but it's taking its time. You have maybe a minute if it doesn't start running to get yourself back together. You're on the edge of the umbilical cable's limit so move to the marked sector on your minimap and ready yourself for another fight."
I can't help but wonder if I took a harder hit than I thought. Usually Misato-san would push for a more aggressive strategy-
"Get moving!"
Right, right, gotta get up.
Willing Unit 01 to stand, I place my hands firmly against the torn up road underneath my chest. Loose rubble shakes and falls from my armored body and I shake my head again.
It's hard to think. Everything feels… sluggish.
I think the Angel hit me so hard that I'm seeing things. Out of the corner of my vision I see a tiny figure of what looks to be a person screaming up at me…
Wait.
'Magnify.' I think, narrowing mine and Unit 01's eyes at the little speck to zoom in and see-
Externals On.
-
Akagi Ritsuko
When Unit 01 freezes in place, I'm not the only one who thinks to immediately brings up the fourth child's medical status on the main display. But when we see that there are no noticeable changes besides an increase in heart rate, it is Misato who gets to grips with herself and calls out to the easygoing young man who many at NERV have grown fond of.
"What's wrong Shinji!? Why aren't you moving!?"
Maya quickly notices the reason for his hesitation on one of the many smaller screens dominating the screens of our analysts. "Colonel! Camera 8! There's a civilian on the field right under Unit 01! He's turning on his external speakers and upping his environmental surround volume! He's trying to talk to her!"
Oh no.
"Cut all other audio and bring camera 8 up on the main screen!" I find myself shouting just as my old friend from college does. We share a momentary look before putting my overstepping of authority uncomfortably behind us and glue our eyes onto the unfolding drama.
"Please let me in! The monsters are here! Please!" The brown haired child screams and cries, banging on the thick unyielding blast doors of the shelter.
Pleading for someone to help her.
Save her.
Shinji-kun isn't the kind of young man that you believe can change the world. Normally. He isn't physically strong, he is only of average intelligence, and he actively avoids conflict whenever possible. However, he has moments. Moments where he burns brighter than the roiling ball of nuclear power that is our sun. It is in those times where you can almost see what he can be if pushed.
A kind hearted young boy with an inner strength that makes you want to believe in him.
I can feel it in my bones. This will be one such moment.
But I can't help the sliver of doubt slowly crawling down my spine.
"Hey, just take a breath and calm down okay? Sakura-chan right? Do you recognize my voice? It's me, Touji's friend." The towering, demonic visage of Evangelion Unit 01 pushes itself slowly onto a single knee and puts a hand to it's chest. It's mimicry of a relaxation exercise is enough to make the screaming girl look up with fearful eyes that are slowly being replaced to recognition.
And hope. "H-huh!? B-big brother's? Sh-shinji-san, r-r-r-right?"
Shinji nods inside the plug in time with Unit 01, a slow grin pasting itself onto his face. And while Unit 01 cannot make the same expression, it more than visibly shows within his voice and the gently exaggerated actions his avatar takes.
A part of my mind can't help but be fascinated by his fine control of Unit 01-
It is that thought that causes my eyes to glance at his sync ratio which had reduced itself to its baseline of 58.9. It was slowly rising as his conversation continued.
Now that is… curious.
"Mhm! That's right! And I'm piloting this big robot to protect you okay? Can you tell me what you're doing out here?" Shinji's voice is soft and gentle, a reminder of a time when he was younger and Rei… confused.
The blue haired girl herself had remained quiet. Almost mouse like while watching the screen with worried eyes.
A victorious sigh here, a frightened gasp there. It wasn't hard to see that she was almost bursting with her worry for Shinji-kun.
"I… I'm locked out! The doors won't open Shinji-san!" Fresh tears began spilling out of her warm browns once again as her situation once again dawns upon her.
But Shinji-kun. Our Shinji leans forward to extend a single gigantic fist slowly in front of the child.. "I just need you to be brave for a little bit longer okay? I'm not going to let that thing hurt you." … and almost dorkishly brings up a thumb. The pale light of Unit 01's scarred visage goes out in mimicry of a wink.
The linked camera going out for a second is enough for the my little ducklings to get into a tizzy and recheck the connections. The child herself tilts her head and looks at Unit 01 with a disbelieving frown. "Th-that's so lame… who does a thumbs up anymore Shinji-san?"
It's in that moment of unbelievable levity in the face of oncoming armageddon that Shinji-kun turns his external speakers off and looks directly at his GUI in barely controlled panic. "Unit 01 to command, what do I do!?"
"Go with a fist bump next time?" The long haired duckling says with a tilt of his head and a hand on his chin. Maya thankfully has the sense to deck him on the back of the head with tablet.
Good lord Aoba-kun. Seriously?
Shinji-kun takes a moment to follow in our collective facepalm. "No! I mean what do I do about Touji's sister!?"
"Hold on Shinji-kun, we're figuring that out right now! Ritsuko! Can we get an override order on those doors!?" Misato calls out, biting her bottom lip.
She already knows the answer to that question and has come to the only conclusion despite long seconds of thinking of workarounds. "It's impossible. The combat shelters will only come out of lockdown two hours after the all clear signal is given out." I sigh, having done the same thing.
Suddenly, a bright red glow fills up the screen and I know our time is up and that we have no more realistic options left to consider.
Damn.
"Shinji turn around! The Angel's firing-" Our operations director swipes her hand across the air in alarm as Shinji's own eyes widen while Unit 01 looks momentarily behind its shoulder.
But instead of dodging or quickly turning around and very possibly injuring or killing the civilian standing so close to him, he grits his teeth.
"Sakura-chan, get down!" The young pilot growls and hunkers down over the wide-eyed girl. The pale orange glow of his AT field springs to life in a circular shield that just barely deflects the blast!
"Shinji!" Rei screams in panicked terror. She isn't the only one as an explosion that rocks Unit 01's AT field slags the wire of the umbilical into worthless metal and polymer.
As the five minute countdown begins fear grips the hearts of all of us in the command center and it shows.
"It's charging up another energy blast!" Hyuuga-kun yells, eyes glued on his screen.
"Let me go! I need to get to Unit 00!"
Rei tries to stand, only for the Sub-Commander to walk from his position next to me and hold her down with a single firm hand on her shoulder. "Don't be stupid Rei! You'll only make the battle harder for Shinji!" The pale girl deflates in her wheelchair, turning to bury her face in the older man's jacket as he gently consoles her with heartfelt words of strength.
"You must trust in him. He'll make it through this, we all will." He still believes even if the rest of us can't see it.
I can't. And I don't think Misato can either.
"He can't stay there! Unit 01 needs to move! He won't be able to deflect anymore of those shots unless the Evangelion is at full power!" I scream, waving my arm uselessly at the dangerously flashing graphs and calculations being thrown up on the side of the main display.
Misato slams her fists into the desk in front of her, lashing out at our current inability to do anything. "I fucking know! But If he moves now than it's not only the girl that dies! The shelter behind him will be blown to pieces!"
"We don't have a choice! At this rate it won't matter whether or not he can get to another power supply!" Choking the part of my mind screaming that the decision isn't right, I focus on the other half that is coldly telling me that those lives won't matter anyway if Unit 01 is destroyed here and now.
"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" I hate this.
I hate how I can see my friend visually killing a part of herself to make the decision we all know is correct.
But right?
…
Yes. It is.
Because as the powerless adults who can do nothing, we'll bear that burden for Shinji-kun. This isn't his fault.
At least, that's what I believe the Commander would say…
Ah?
He's not...
"Colonel Katsuragi! The Commander! He's gone!" Aoba-kun states wildly, but not fearfully.
He's staring down at his screen like he's seeing something unbelievable.
"What do you mean he's gone!?" Misato screams wide-eyed at the long haired man who uncharacteristically doesn't shake or flinch. Instead he pulls up his screen onto the main display disbelievingly.
"I, I'm tracking his signal now, he's moving towards the surface at… what?"
"Aoba! What the hell are we looking at!?"
"He's moving so fast that he's blipping across the Geofront! He's… he's heading up to the battle!" He's finally able to put the pieces together and say the only thing that could be happening barring technical trouble.
The man is a fool but he isn't stupid. He'd have already checked for that.-
"Shinji." An unnatural quiet descends upon the formerly chaotic room, even the various instruments beeping Unit 01's various damaged systems seem muted when the voice of Commander Ikari echoes throughout the open channel that connects all of us.
Including Unit 01.
"...Father?" Shinji-kun's voice is a small, confused thing. It is that of a young boy who doesn't know what to do and is looking to his father for direction.
Commander Ikari's response is crisp, to the point, and quietly worried. "I will arrive to secure Suzuhara-san's daughter shortly. Can you hold?"
There is a beat of silence as another blast of energy flies at Unit 01.
"... Yeah. I got this." Only for it to be completely deflected by a resurgence of powerful bold orange.
"AT Field, Full Power!" The boy who fights for all of Humanity growls and grips his controls with an expression that wouldn't be out of place on the face of a hero of legend.
A heartbeat thuds once in my chest as the Fourth Child's eyes glow a mesmerizing red that promises to safeguard all of my hopes and dreams for a single second.
… a trick of light Ritsuko.
It is nothing more.
"What… the hell was that?" Next to me Misato whispers to herself and places a hand wonderingly against her left breast.
...
Another beat echoes in time with my own.
But I believe in you Shinji-kun.
-
Ikari Shinji
Remaining Power: 0:00:59
AT Field raised to full, I hunker down and use my back to shield Sakura from the barrage of angelic beams that being to crash into my barrier with only seconds between shots. Desperately my hands cover the tiny figure to protect her from any shrapnel and clench my body in preparation. Reality itself seems to warp as the first of the energy lances slam home into my brightly shining desire to protect.
C'mon...
Remaining Power: 0:00:32
My AT Field bends. Then it cracks. And finally, it shatters, no longer able to withstand the dozens of heavy blasts that have been flying across the expanse between me and the Angel. Already I can feel steel and flesh melt under the heat and force of beams scoring deep pits within my back. I can feel a tooth in the back of my mouth splinter and cut up my tongue.
I can't tell if it's the LCL and steel from Unit 01 I'm tasting or my own blood and enamel.
But that's fine.
"Shinji. I have arrived."
Because Father is here.
Remaining Power: 0:00:10
"This is Commander Ikari, I have the civilian and am exfiltrating through sector C7-02D." Father's voice echoes through the plug, my eyes following the blazing shadow that is quickly making his way to the opening catapult exit.
Another blast knocks me further forward, forcing me onto my hands and knees as I try and get up despite the pain drilling into my fleshless back.
Just a little bit longer… hold on just a little bit longer Unit 01.
"Shinji-san! Please don't let the monster win!" The young girl cries into Father's earbud.
Remaining Power: 0:00:04
For a moment I'm unsure what to say. Unit 01 only has seconds of power left and even if I could move, I doubt that the titanic body whose every wound I can feel on my very flesh is in any state to do battle.
…
But… I can't run away.
I won't.
"Don't worry Sakura-chan, I won't lose." My heart is beating.
Because even if you run out of power...
Remaining Power:0:00:00
"I Promise." Like it's trying to tell me something.
I'll still fight. With or without you.
*With. Always with.*
Remaining Power: ERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERROR-
"What the hell's going on Maya!? Did our systems crash!?
"N-negative Dr. Akagi! The MAGI has detected a new color pattern I've never seen before! It's coming from Unit 01!"
"RED!? That's impossi-!? Hyuuga! What's the status of Unit 01? Has it gone berserk!?"
"N-no! At least… I don't think so? The pilot's still in total control!"
"Aoba bring up the Fourth's synchronization data! Now!
"Unit 01's sync ratio is holding steady at the pilot's base synchronization of 58.9 percen- no wait! It's slowly climbing! 72, 98, 138, h-holy shit..."
Fourth C.
Shinji Ikari / SUBJECT 01
Mental Toxicity Level
lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll [DANGER][DANGER][DANGER]
SUBJECT 01 PLUG DEPTH:
160 [DANGER][DANGER][DANGER]
SYNCHRONIZATION RATIO:
200% [DANGER][DANGER][DANGER]
[DELINKING CONNECTIONS D-246 - D-312]
[ERROR]
[PATTERN RED DETECTED]
[DIRECTIVE H.E.R.O ACTIVATED]
[ALL PARAMETERS WITHIN ACCEPTABLE LIMITS]
[EVANGELION UNIT 01]
[INITIATING HARMONIC PROTOCOL]
"...God in Heaven. Can it truly be?"
[OUR FIST IS BURNING RED]
HERO 01
Shinji Ikari / SUBJECT 01
Mental Tenacity Level
lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll [RISING]
SUBJECT 01 CORE PULSE:
78 BPM [CAUTION]
HARMONIZATION RATIO:
100% [UNTIL ALL ARE ONE]
[WE STAND IN DEFIANCE OF FATE]
"Hey. Everyone."
"S-shinji! Are you okay!?"
Are you crying? For me?
"I'm good Rei. But I think something's wrong with my chest. It feels like it's on fire."
"Shinji…?"
Why?
"I'm sorry but I don't think I can hold myself back anymore."
Don't worry. Remember?
I clench my fist in front of my chest.
I made a promise to you too.
A moment to gather all of the fragile hopes and dreams that I hold in this softly glowing hand of mine.
In response, Unit 01 stands and holds a hand out behind it without looking back through the barrage of cross shaped lasers that are no longer able to touch me through a shimmering, gently spinning wall...
"Because my heart is telling me that I won't be able to live if I don't kill this bastard for making a girl cry!"
...and grips the churning maelstrom within its hands.
"Certain Kill..."
Raging emotion spins and tightens around my fist as I run forward.
"Burning..."
The air screeches in pain as the beating power coalescing in my hand rotates ever faster.
"Drill..."
This time when the Angel futilely puts its hand up to block my strike…
"SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The strength of my soul shreds beyond the metaphysical and directly through material flesh and core before the world fades to white-.
-
Next Episode Preview!
"Ryu! Ryu! Have you seen the combat footage yet?"
"The fight between the fourth child and the third angel? Well we're all still alive so your pilot Ikari must've won right? Why?"
"He ripped it apart."
"Huh? The heck are you talking about? With a prog weapon?"
"A Drill!"
"What?"
"He formed an AT drill around his fist and cored the Angel with a single punch!"
"Seriously? Scoot over! That sounds awesome! Jeez Shiki, you made your buddy Ikari sound all boring and overbearing-"
"SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"... does that idiot think he's a superhero or something? Ugh. What's that thing Japanese people say? 'Chuuni?'"
"Don't tell me you didn't think that was cool!"
"Are you kidding? That was so stupid!"
"Idiot!"
"Nerd!"
"Old man loving creeper!"
"Little doll loving baby!"
"Egotistical self-centered bitch!"
"Stuck up 2d loner!"
AN: Lets see where things go~
Part 1: Pattern RED
-
Ikari Shinji
April 20th, 2015
Tokyo 3
Evangelion Unit 01
-
As the catapult rockets me and my warmachine through thousands of feet of earth and defensive plating, I can feel Unit 01's hands clench and unclench not entirely of my own accord. It's as if the titan of steel and muscle surrounding me is feeding off of my desire to meet the Angel head on. To rip and tear the thing that wants to destroy everything important in my life without even the vaguest explanation.
I don't like that.
Not. One. Bit.
Unit 01 agrees. I can feel its rumbling discontent through the LCL.
Looking up I can see light in the distance streaming through the cameras as the tunnel exit opens.
Magnetic locks disengage and I will Unit 01 to crouch lowly against the platform and coil the strength of its legs in preparation. As soon as we breach the opening, I jump hundreds of feet into the sky to land deftly on top of the reinforced apartment building acting as a supply point and sniper's nest. Without taking my eyes off the expressionless mask of the Angel who is staring curiously in my direction, I automatically plug the umbilical cable into Unit 01's spine and grab an M144 Crossbow.
More from muscle memory than cognitively making a decision, I pull up the already loaded and charging electromagnetic crossbow to Unit 01's shoulder, aim, and fire the high velocity penetrator at the seemingly unprotected core of the Angel. The heavy kinetic payload flies true, but only a few dozen feet from hitting its target, the hundred foot long bolt of metal deforms into a flat circle before bouncing off the see through orange barrier and crushing a large truck under it.
"... yeah that would've been too easy." Expected, but irritating.
Carefully placing the worthless, but phenomenally expensive, weapon back into the building's housing, I drop down from the building in a low crouch before standing up and cracking Unit 01's and my neck.
I don't feel like playing duck hunt anyway.
The monstrous creature turns to face me fully with a tilt of its masked head as if asking...
'Is that it?'
…
That really, really pisses me off.
"Shinji-kun, remember you have to neutralize the Angel's AT field before you can hurt it-" I can hear Misato-san's voice feeding me tactical advice from the small holoscreen at the corner of my doubled vision.
Outwardly I calmly acknowledge her coaching more from long ingrained habit than anything.
Inwardly a part of my mind realizes from painfully long lessons of metabiological theory taught by Ritsuko-san that an Absolute Terror Field is literally a tangible force field that separates the self from the world. A defensive tool so powerful that it takes another sufficiently strong ego to force the barrier down. I never really understood the science behind it, but Dr. Akagi made a comparison that resonated with me.
"Sometimes the only way to make a person change is by the intervention of another human being. Well, in this case what could be classified as a kaiju and a giant man-made battle robot."
That I could understand.
"Shinji's sync rate has jumped from 58.9 to 103.4 percent!"
"What!?"
A synchronized beat of my Evangelion's biomechanical heart and that of my own thudding organ later, I run forward.
"Wait-"
Faster.
The creature who seemed to regard my presence before as an idle curiosity flinches back and attempts to turn away from the truth of the world by hiding behind its childish denial.
The hexagonal representation of its unwillingness to acknowledge reality folds like a ratty baby blanket in the face of a titanic, armor plated fist breaking through the sound barrier like so much paper mache-
*CLANG!*
Only for my(?) fist to be stopped dead by the Angel's spindly outstretched limb.
"What the…" How…?
"SHINJI! MOVE!" Misato-san's voice breaks through my unbelieving stare as the dark pits staring directly at my face light up brightly-
My own eyes widening, I do the only thing that comes to mind with my right fist being trapped in the grip of the black and white monster and smash my horned forehead into it's face! In a bright explosion of light followed by a burning pain on the left side of my face, I grit my teeth and force my right hand through the increasingly hurtful corona of pink energy and grip it's head by the mask.
Not once. Not twice. But three times do I pull my head back and slam it into breaking bone. I do this without thought from pulling back through the armor and flesh blistering beam of energy that finally cuts off with a pained cry. Finally unwilling to continue seeing who has the harder skull, the Third Angel lets go of my arm and slugs me in the face with it's right.
The level of destruction the impact causes is staggering. Not only to Unit 01, but to the fortress city's streets and buildings that make up our battleground. The impact of the fist itself breaks several bones in my jaw and if I'm lucky only knocked out a few metal(?) teeth. Windows are blown out and anything not rooted to the earth is sent flying in the wake of the vacuum created in my passing. The kinetic energy imparted through the blow is so great that I'm sent flying nearly a mile down the street and left without the mental faculties to even begin to attempt a controlled landing.
Sparks fly as my body skids and bounces painfully against breaking concrete and steel, face stopping only inches from the entrance to an underground shelter.
Hwaaarghgbhbh...
The multitude of alerts flashing dangerously in front of my face along with the panicked chatter of the support crew doesn't make it any easier to get my head back on straight.
Thankfully noticing that I'm still reeling physically and mentally from the punch, Ritsuko-san remotely turns down the volume of everyone speaking except for herself and Misato-san before speaking up again. "Shinji-kun! Are you alright!?"
"Feels like I just got a face full of baseball bat, but I think I'm good." I say, experimentally moving my and the EVA's neck with a wince. "...this is the residential zone isn't it?"
"Good, good you had a momentary loss of consciousness, but you seem alert. Thankfully the LCL seems to have done its work in cushioning your body from being thrown around the cockpit. Your vitals are reading stable and Unit 01 is… relatively undamaged."
"I get that my jaw hurts but my hand, left side of my face, and forehead feels like someone dumped boiling water on them…"
"As a doctor I wouldn't recommend that you stick your hand and face into shiny lights of any kind Shinji-kun. Run that brain scan again, I want to be sure that he isn't concussed-" The false blonde rolls her eyes with a fond, but worried expression that takes over her lips as she looks to the side at another technician.
Ah… right.
Sorry, Unit 01, but you can just grow back your brain cells right?
The feeling of a ghostly hand slapping the back of my head is strange, but I'm still a little woozy.
-
"This is bad Misato, we didn't catch it before because it was so small at the time, but there's some minor swelling in the back of his skull and the psychosomatic feedback from the Angel's attack isn't doing his brain any favors!"
"Can you fix it Ritsuko!?"
"I'm already having his plugsuit administer a dose of anti-edemas and increasing the oxygen level of the LCL, but we still need another few minutes to ascertain how bad the damage is. You need to pull him back at least until we can see if we're sending him into a losing fight or certain death."
"Damn it. Alright, Hyuuga! Patch me back into Unit 01 and send a ranged package to sector C8-12A-"
-
Misato-san chimes in this time with a serious look undercut with visible relief. "Shinji-kun, the Angel looks like it's moving towards you, but it's taking its time. You have maybe a minute if it doesn't start running to get yourself back together. You're on the edge of the umbilical cable's limit so move to the marked sector on your minimap and ready yourself for another fight."
I can't help but wonder if I took a harder hit than I thought. Usually Misato-san would push for a more aggressive strategy-
"Get moving!"
Right, right, gotta get up.
Willing Unit 01 to stand, I place my hands firmly against the torn up road underneath my chest. Loose rubble shakes and falls from my armored body and I shake my head again.
It's hard to think. Everything feels… sluggish.
I think the Angel hit me so hard that I'm seeing things. Out of the corner of my vision I see a tiny figure of what looks to be a person screaming up at me…
Wait.
'Magnify.' I think, narrowing mine and Unit 01's eyes at the little speck to zoom in and see-
Externals On.
-
Akagi Ritsuko
When Unit 01 freezes in place, I'm not the only one who thinks to immediately brings up the fourth child's medical status on the main display. But when we see that there are no noticeable changes besides an increase in heart rate, it is Misato who gets to grips with herself and calls out to the easygoing young man who many at NERV have grown fond of.
"What's wrong Shinji!? Why aren't you moving!?"
Maya quickly notices the reason for his hesitation on one of the many smaller screens dominating the screens of our analysts. "Colonel! Camera 8! There's a civilian on the field right under Unit 01! He's turning on his external speakers and upping his environmental surround volume! He's trying to talk to her!"
Oh no.
"Cut all other audio and bring camera 8 up on the main screen!" I find myself shouting just as my old friend from college does. We share a momentary look before putting my overstepping of authority uncomfortably behind us and glue our eyes onto the unfolding drama.
"Please let me in! The monsters are here! Please!" The brown haired child screams and cries, banging on the thick unyielding blast doors of the shelter.
Pleading for someone to help her.
Save her.
Shinji-kun isn't the kind of young man that you believe can change the world. Normally. He isn't physically strong, he is only of average intelligence, and he actively avoids conflict whenever possible. However, he has moments. Moments where he burns brighter than the roiling ball of nuclear power that is our sun. It is in those times where you can almost see what he can be if pushed.
A kind hearted young boy with an inner strength that makes you want to believe in him.
I can feel it in my bones. This will be one such moment.
But I can't help the sliver of doubt slowly crawling down my spine.
"Hey, just take a breath and calm down okay? Sakura-chan right? Do you recognize my voice? It's me, Touji's friend." The towering, demonic visage of Evangelion Unit 01 pushes itself slowly onto a single knee and puts a hand to it's chest. It's mimicry of a relaxation exercise is enough to make the screaming girl look up with fearful eyes that are slowly being replaced to recognition.
And hope. "H-huh!? B-big brother's? Sh-shinji-san, r-r-r-right?"
Shinji nods inside the plug in time with Unit 01, a slow grin pasting itself onto his face. And while Unit 01 cannot make the same expression, it more than visibly shows within his voice and the gently exaggerated actions his avatar takes.
A part of my mind can't help but be fascinated by his fine control of Unit 01-
It is that thought that causes my eyes to glance at his sync ratio which had reduced itself to its baseline of 58.9. It was slowly rising as his conversation continued.
Now that is… curious.
"Mhm! That's right! And I'm piloting this big robot to protect you okay? Can you tell me what you're doing out here?" Shinji's voice is soft and gentle, a reminder of a time when he was younger and Rei… confused.
The blue haired girl herself had remained quiet. Almost mouse like while watching the screen with worried eyes.
A victorious sigh here, a frightened gasp there. It wasn't hard to see that she was almost bursting with her worry for Shinji-kun.
"I… I'm locked out! The doors won't open Shinji-san!" Fresh tears began spilling out of her warm browns once again as her situation once again dawns upon her.
But Shinji-kun. Our Shinji leans forward to extend a single gigantic fist slowly in front of the child.. "I just need you to be brave for a little bit longer okay? I'm not going to let that thing hurt you." … and almost dorkishly brings up a thumb. The pale light of Unit 01's scarred visage goes out in mimicry of a wink.
The linked camera going out for a second is enough for the my little ducklings to get into a tizzy and recheck the connections. The child herself tilts her head and looks at Unit 01 with a disbelieving frown. "Th-that's so lame… who does a thumbs up anymore Shinji-san?"
It's in that moment of unbelievable levity in the face of oncoming armageddon that Shinji-kun turns his external speakers off and looks directly at his GUI in barely controlled panic. "Unit 01 to command, what do I do!?"
"Go with a fist bump next time?" The long haired duckling says with a tilt of his head and a hand on his chin. Maya thankfully has the sense to deck him on the back of the head with tablet.
Good lord Aoba-kun. Seriously?
Shinji-kun takes a moment to follow in our collective facepalm. "No! I mean what do I do about Touji's sister!?"
"Hold on Shinji-kun, we're figuring that out right now! Ritsuko! Can we get an override order on those doors!?" Misato calls out, biting her bottom lip.
She already knows the answer to that question and has come to the only conclusion despite long seconds of thinking of workarounds. "It's impossible. The combat shelters will only come out of lockdown two hours after the all clear signal is given out." I sigh, having done the same thing.
Suddenly, a bright red glow fills up the screen and I know our time is up and that we have no more realistic options left to consider.
Damn.
"Shinji turn around! The Angel's firing-" Our operations director swipes her hand across the air in alarm as Shinji's own eyes widen while Unit 01 looks momentarily behind its shoulder.
But instead of dodging or quickly turning around and very possibly injuring or killing the civilian standing so close to him, he grits his teeth.
"Sakura-chan, get down!" The young pilot growls and hunkers down over the wide-eyed girl. The pale orange glow of his AT field springs to life in a circular shield that just barely deflects the blast!
"Shinji!" Rei screams in panicked terror. She isn't the only one as an explosion that rocks Unit 01's AT field slags the wire of the umbilical into worthless metal and polymer.
As the five minute countdown begins fear grips the hearts of all of us in the command center and it shows.
"It's charging up another energy blast!" Hyuuga-kun yells, eyes glued on his screen.
"Let me go! I need to get to Unit 00!"
Rei tries to stand, only for the Sub-Commander to walk from his position next to me and hold her down with a single firm hand on her shoulder. "Don't be stupid Rei! You'll only make the battle harder for Shinji!" The pale girl deflates in her wheelchair, turning to bury her face in the older man's jacket as he gently consoles her with heartfelt words of strength.
"You must trust in him. He'll make it through this, we all will." He still believes even if the rest of us can't see it.
I can't. And I don't think Misato can either.
"He can't stay there! Unit 01 needs to move! He won't be able to deflect anymore of those shots unless the Evangelion is at full power!" I scream, waving my arm uselessly at the dangerously flashing graphs and calculations being thrown up on the side of the main display.
Misato slams her fists into the desk in front of her, lashing out at our current inability to do anything. "I fucking know! But If he moves now than it's not only the girl that dies! The shelter behind him will be blown to pieces!"
"We don't have a choice! At this rate it won't matter whether or not he can get to another power supply!" Choking the part of my mind screaming that the decision isn't right, I focus on the other half that is coldly telling me that those lives won't matter anyway if Unit 01 is destroyed here and now.
"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" I hate this.
I hate how I can see my friend visually killing a part of herself to make the decision we all know is correct.
But right?
…
Yes. It is.
Because as the powerless adults who can do nothing, we'll bear that burden for Shinji-kun. This isn't his fault.
At least, that's what I believe the Commander would say…
Ah?
He's not...
"Colonel Katsuragi! The Commander! He's gone!" Aoba-kun states wildly, but not fearfully.
He's staring down at his screen like he's seeing something unbelievable.
"What do you mean he's gone!?" Misato screams wide-eyed at the long haired man who uncharacteristically doesn't shake or flinch. Instead he pulls up his screen onto the main display disbelievingly.
"I, I'm tracking his signal now, he's moving towards the surface at… what?"
"Aoba! What the hell are we looking at!?"
"He's moving so fast that he's blipping across the Geofront! He's… he's heading up to the battle!" He's finally able to put the pieces together and say the only thing that could be happening barring technical trouble.
The man is a fool but he isn't stupid. He'd have already checked for that.-
"Shinji." An unnatural quiet descends upon the formerly chaotic room, even the various instruments beeping Unit 01's various damaged systems seem muted when the voice of Commander Ikari echoes throughout the open channel that connects all of us.
Including Unit 01.
"...Father?" Shinji-kun's voice is a small, confused thing. It is that of a young boy who doesn't know what to do and is looking to his father for direction.
Commander Ikari's response is crisp, to the point, and quietly worried. "I will arrive to secure Suzuhara-san's daughter shortly. Can you hold?"
There is a beat of silence as another blast of energy flies at Unit 01.
"... Yeah. I got this." Only for it to be completely deflected by a resurgence of powerful bold orange.
"AT Field, Full Power!" The boy who fights for all of Humanity growls and grips his controls with an expression that wouldn't be out of place on the face of a hero of legend.
A heartbeat thuds once in my chest as the Fourth Child's eyes glow a mesmerizing red that promises to safeguard all of my hopes and dreams for a single second.
… a trick of light Ritsuko.
It is nothing more.
"What… the hell was that?" Next to me Misato whispers to herself and places a hand wonderingly against her left breast.
...
Another beat echoes in time with my own.
But I believe in you Shinji-kun.
-
Ikari Shinji
Remaining Power: 0:00:59
AT Field raised to full, I hunker down and use my back to shield Sakura from the barrage of angelic beams that being to crash into my barrier with only seconds between shots. Desperately my hands cover the tiny figure to protect her from any shrapnel and clench my body in preparation. Reality itself seems to warp as the first of the energy lances slam home into my brightly shining desire to protect.
C'mon...
Remaining Power: 0:00:32
My AT Field bends. Then it cracks. And finally, it shatters, no longer able to withstand the dozens of heavy blasts that have been flying across the expanse between me and the Angel. Already I can feel steel and flesh melt under the heat and force of beams scoring deep pits within my back. I can feel a tooth in the back of my mouth splinter and cut up my tongue.
I can't tell if it's the LCL and steel from Unit 01 I'm tasting or my own blood and enamel.
But that's fine.
"Shinji. I have arrived."
Because Father is here.
Remaining Power: 0:00:10
"This is Commander Ikari, I have the civilian and am exfiltrating through sector C7-02D." Father's voice echoes through the plug, my eyes following the blazing shadow that is quickly making his way to the opening catapult exit.
Another blast knocks me further forward, forcing me onto my hands and knees as I try and get up despite the pain drilling into my fleshless back.
Just a little bit longer… hold on just a little bit longer Unit 01.
"Shinji-san! Please don't let the monster win!" The young girl cries into Father's earbud.
Remaining Power: 0:00:04
For a moment I'm unsure what to say. Unit 01 only has seconds of power left and even if I could move, I doubt that the titanic body whose every wound I can feel on my very flesh is in any state to do battle.
…
But… I can't run away.
I won't.
"Don't worry Sakura-chan, I won't lose." My heart is beating.
Because even if you run out of power...
Remaining Power:
"I Promise." Like it's trying to tell me something.
I'll still fight. With or without you.
*With. Always with.*
Remaining Power: ERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERROR-
"What the hell's going on Maya!? Did our systems crash!?
"N-negative Dr. Akagi! The MAGI has detected a new color pattern I've never seen before! It's coming from Unit 01!"
"RED!? That's impossi-!? Hyuuga! What's the status of Unit 01? Has it gone berserk!?"
"N-no! At least… I don't think so? The pilot's still in total control!"
"Aoba bring up the Fourth's synchronization data! Now!
"Unit 01's sync ratio is holding steady at the pilot's base synchronization of 58.9 percen- no wait! It's slowly climbing! 72, 98, 138, h-holy shit..."
Fourth C.
Shinji Ikari / SUBJECT 01
Mental Toxicity Level
lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll [DANGER][DANGER][DANGER]
SUBJECT 01 PLUG DEPTH:
160 [DANGER][DANGER][DANGER]
SYNCHRONIZATION RATIO:
200% [DANGER][DANGER][DANGER]
[ERROR]
[PATTERN RED DETECTED]
[DIRECTIVE H.E.R.O ACTIVATED]
[ALL PARAMETERS WITHIN ACCEPTABLE LIMITS]
[EVANGELION UNIT 01]
[INITIATING HARMONIC PROTOCOL]
"...God in Heaven. Can it truly be?"
[OUR FIST IS BURNING RED]
HERO 01
Shinji Ikari / SUBJECT 01
Mental Tenacity Level
lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll [RISING]
SUBJECT 01 CORE PULSE:
78 BPM [CAUTION]
HARMONIZATION RATIO:
100% [UNTIL ALL ARE ONE]
[WE STAND IN DEFIANCE OF FATE]
"Hey. Everyone."
"S-shinji! Are you okay!?"
Are you crying? For me?
"I'm good Rei. But I think something's wrong with my chest. It feels like it's on fire."
"Shinji…?"
Why?
"I'm sorry but I don't think I can hold myself back anymore."
Don't worry. Remember?
I clench my fist in front of my chest.
I made a promise to you too.
A moment to gather all of the fragile hopes and dreams that I hold in this softly glowing hand of mine.
In response, Unit 01 stands and holds a hand out behind it without looking back through the barrage of cross shaped lasers that are no longer able to touch me through a shimmering, gently spinning wall...
"Because my heart is telling me that I won't be able to live if I don't kill this bastard for making a girl cry!"
...and grips the churning maelstrom within its hands.
"Certain Kill..."
Raging emotion spins and tightens around my fist as I run forward.
"Burning..."
The air screeches in pain as the beating power coalescing in my hand rotates ever faster.
"Drill..."
This time when the Angel futilely puts its hand up to block my strike…
"SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The strength of my soul shreds beyond the metaphysical and directly through material flesh and core before the world fades to white-.
-
Next Episode Preview!
"Ryu! Ryu! Have you seen the combat footage yet?"
"The fight between the fourth child and the third angel? Well we're all still alive so your pilot Ikari must've won right? Why?"
"He ripped it apart."
"Huh? The heck are you talking about? With a prog weapon?"
"A Drill!"
"What?"
"He formed an AT drill around his fist and cored the Angel with a single punch!"
"Seriously? Scoot over! That sounds awesome! Jeez Shiki, you made your buddy Ikari sound all boring and overbearing-"
"SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"... does that idiot think he's a superhero or something? Ugh. What's that thing Japanese people say? 'Chuuni?'"
"Don't tell me you didn't think that was cool!"
"Are you kidding? That was so stupid!"
"Idiot!"
"Nerd!"
"Old man loving creeper!"
"Little doll loving baby!"
"Egotistical self-centered bitch!"
"Stuck up 2d loner!"
AN: Lets see where things go~
1-3: Days Gone
konamikode
Cooking Harder
Chapter 1: Trust
Part 3: Days Gone
-
Ikari Shinji
March 1st, 2006
Tokyo 3
Ikari Family Apartment
-
The air screeches in pain as the beating power coalescing in my hand rotates ever faster.
"Shin-chan?" "Shinji?"
This time when the Angel futilely puts its hand up to block my strike…
"Shin-chan!" "Shinji!"
The strength of my soul shreds beyond the metaphysical and directly through material flesh and core before the world fades to white-.
"Shin-chan! Wake up!" "Shinji! Wake up!"
"Nnn…" I grump and snuggle deeper into my covers and try to block out the stupid sun. It doesn't last long though. The smell of grandma boiling rice and mixing miso into the anchovy stock makes my tummy hungry enough that I can't go back to sleep anyway.
What a weird dream.
I try to rub the dust out of my eyes with both hands, but only one arm listens to me.
"Reeeeeiiiiii…" My other arm is being held tightly in my cousin's arm like she does everyday. "Wake up. We need to brush our teeth and stuff."
Rei never sleeps in her own bed. She doesn't like to be alone.
"Nooooo… sleeeeeeep…" My mewling blue haired friend only holds onto me tighter than she normally does, so I gently shake her until she grumbles and let's go to turn away and bury herself in my blankets.
Ow. Does Rei normally hold onto me that tight?
"Reeeeiiiii, if you don't wake up you know what's going to happen." I warn, eyes narrowed and hands held out in the shape of claws.
"Mmmnnoooo…" She sleepily mumbles and curls into a ball still half asleep but knowing enough that she really shouldn't be listening.
Okay. You asked for it!
Shining Finger!
"Hya!" At once my blue haired cousin's eyes shoot open and she does her best to further roll herself into a blanket dumpling, attempting to grow armor to defend her sides from my attack!
Mwahaha! Fooooool! None can withstand the might of my Shining Finger Double!
"I'm up… I'm up...! Shiiiiiinjiiiiiiiii… stooooooop…!" Rei squeaks and whispers softly as she squirms this way and that tiredly, poking her head out from her useless blanket fort with a small frown. "Mean." She mumbles and suddenly tosses her pillow at my face in a brutal maneuver!
Maneuver? What does that mean- ah!
With a tiny huff, Rei rolls off the bed into her too big bunny slippers and shuffles her way to the bathroom with a little grin that I know is on her face.
She always had fun sliding around in those things huh?
Taking my sudden defeat with good humor, I trail along behind her and stop at the small desk with a picture of my grandmother back when she was still young.
"Good morning Grandmother. Please watch over us today as well." I stop, put my hands together, and bow.
Strangely, Rei ignores the picture and keeps trodding to the bathroom with single minded purpose. It's weird. We always pay our respects together in the morning-
"Maaaah, Shin-chan, what are you babbling about? Be a good boy and brush your teeth! Just because it's the weekend doesn't mean you get to learn any bad habits, you hear!?"
"Y-yes grandma!" I yelp and quickly run to the bathroom before I get a ladle tossed in my direction!
"1..2...3...4..5, 1..2...3..4...5-" Rei mumbles around her toothbrush with a serious look on her face as she counts the rotations she makes on each area.
It's cute.
She actually still does it sometimes if she's sleepy enough…
Still?
"Is something wrong Shinji? Grandma's going to yell if when she checks your breath if you don't brush." The little girl standing next to me says with a tilt of her head and frowns. "Ah. Lost count… 1...2...3..4..5-"
So cute.
"I need to head to the market, you two eat and do your chores okay? You can go play after!" Grandma yells from the dining room. I can hear the last few plates clinking down before I walk out of the bathroom…
But Grandma's already gone.
"...did you hear Grandma leave Rei?"
"? Umm… I think so?"
"Rei, you didn't have to make us breakfast… you haven't slept either have you?
"...It isn't the same…"
"Rei?"
"It doesn't taste the same Misato-san."
Breakfast tastes… strange.
It doesn't taste like Grandma's cooking.
… I don't remember what it's supposed to taste like, but this isn't it.
What the...
"Shinji. Dishes?"
"Oh- yeah! Hey, hey, what did Grandma always say about holding too many plates at once!"
-
Ikari Shinji
March 1st, 2006
Tokyo 3
Ikari Family Apartment
-
"Shin-chan? Wake up! It's time for breakfast!" Grandma's voice calls out loudly from the kitchen!
"Nnn… okay Grandma!" I wake up, wake Rei up, go brush my teeth, and eat breakfast.
"Rei… why don't you go back home? Just for a few hours and get some real sleep in."
"I will not go home without Shinji. We always go home from NERV together. You know that Ritsuko-san"
It doesn't taste like Grandma's food.
"I'll be back later Shin-chan!"
Where is Grandma going?
"Shinji. Dishes?"
-
Ikari Shinji
March 1st, 2006
Tokyo 3
Ikari Family Apartment
-
"Shin-chan? Breakfast!" Her voice… it sounds like it's coming from miles away.
My heart is trying to tell me something-
"I'm awake Grandma! Wait!" I'm already up, but Rei is still sleeping. So I wake her up and don't brush my teeth today and run to the dining room!
Where are you Grandma?
"Rei-kun… you really don't need to cook breakfast for us everyday. You already spend so much time on the bento-"
"I know Fuyutsuki-sensei. But I will do so until he wakes up."
By the time I get there, she's already gone and the food is already on the table...
It tastes better, but it's still not the same...
"Shin-chan..." Grandma? Why do you sound so far away?
"Shinji…" Rei looks down at me, suddenly taller and… sadder.
"Rei?"
"Please wake up…"
But I'm awake?
-
Ikari Shinji
March 1st, 2006
Tokyo 3
Ikari Family Apartment
-
"Shin-chan! Wake up!" Grandma! Wait!
I'm already off the bed and running out the door. I don't notice how much smaller Rei is nor do I bother with going to the bathroom.
Something is wrong.
"Rei. Go come home with me. Please. You must rest."
"He always woke up for Grandmother's breakfast Uncle... he'll wake up if I make it right."
"...Rei…"
"I know he will."
But the plates are there again… so I eat-
"Remember to always place your fingers down like this when you cut an onion, kay kids?"
"Yes Grandma."
"Okay Grandma!"
I… remember that day… the taste, it's not the same but…
"Shinji…" I look down to see a small, scared child worriedly wringing the small washcloth in her hand...
"Rei? What's wrong? Why…?"
Why does my arm feel wet?
"Please help me Grandmother…" She whispers before turning around and walking down an empty hallway without end.
No!
"Rei? Rei!"
I'm here! I'm awake! Rei! Rei-
-
Ikari Shinji
March 1st, 2006
Tokyo 3
Ikari Family Apartment
-
I'm awake. I am at the table. And finally, finally, Grandma is right here-
"Grandma… why can't I remember what you look like?" I… why can't I remember!?
She's right here!
She's right here!
Right. Here.
Here.here.here.she'shereherehereherewhereisshethisisn'trightwhycan't-
WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER HER FACE!?!?!?
The sensation of a warm and weathered hand gently cupping my cheek brings me to a sudden stop. "Oh Shin-chan… why don't you wake up and have a bite of the breakfast Rei made you? I'm sure you'll remember me then." The ghostly reflection wearing the face of a familiar young woman whispers softly into my hair.
It shouldn't be young.
"What are you talking about Grandma? You're scaring me..." I cry. Nothing makes sense.
What is happening? Why can't I remember her face!?
"Don't be afraid Shin-chan. Everything will be alright." Grandma coos and knocks her forehead against mine with a smile that reminds me so much of her but not.
"But… but you're going to go away again aren't you? If I wake up you won't be there anymore-" I blabber, only to have a finger gently shush me.
Her strange eyes are just as bright as ever. It… calms me...
"Idiot. So much like your Father. It only hurts everyone else you care about if you stay in the past forever my precious grandson." She says softly, wrapping her lean, strong arms around my shoulders and pulling me close. "I love you Shinji. Tell Rei that I love her too and that I'm sorry for before."
The familiar sensation of wetness grows against my shoulder as I lean into my loving grandmother's arms and hold her tightly.
I don't want to let you go.
You have to sweet child.
She runs her calloused fingers through my hair fondly before forcibly pulling back with a watery, gentle smile. "And tell my fool of a son to come and visit me sometime. I wanted this. Stay safe Shin-chan and remember."
"Follow your own path, no matter what anyone else says." Says the ghost of Rokubungi Ryuko.
Grandmother?
"What are you talking about!?-" My eyes widen as she shoves a spoonful of rice and pan seared mackerel into my mouth!?-
...
This taste…
No.
I remember this scent.
"Remember, the most important part of making miso soup is the anchovy base! The longer you can simmer the stock, the richer the flavor!"
"How long do you simmer for Grandma?"
"Heh. For as long as I need to Shin-chan."
"Grandma?"
-
Ikari Shinji
April 27th, 2015
Geofront
Hospital Level
-
I can see her. It's blurry, but I can see her crying softly into my chest-
"Grandma?" I gasp, desperately reaching for the figure who is already fading away into…
...into...
"Shinji!" The familiar blue hair that smells of miso and fresh cucumbers brushes against my nose.
"R-rei? Wh-where's… oh." A dream. It was all a dream.
A large, gloved hand places itself down upon my shoulder with a firm, but somehow relieved grip. "It is good that you have awakened Shinji."
"Father? What… what's going on?" I manage to ask despite the head of hair that is buried into my chest when a familiar labcoat swishes to my side followed by a polite cough. "Ritsuko-san?"
"Good morning Shinji-kun. I'm going to have to ask you to take a deep breath and stay calm while I check you over, understood?" The pseudo blonde doctor does her best to smile reassuringly.
Her best is… actually pretty relaxing.
I can feel her relief. The way her heartbeat resonates with mine.
Ritsuko-san is honestly relieved that I am awake.
Why?
Because her heart is telling me that she cares about my wellbeing.
Not like a doctor would a patient. But someone between family and close friend. Because she believes in me-
...What?
"You destroyed the Angel, but the battle was not without consequence. You had minor brain trauma and a concussion from your initial class with the Angel codenamed Sachiel. The neural feedback from the damage you took combined with your high synchronization rate caused you to go into a short coma for a period of seven days after you vanquished the enemy… how much do you remember of the battle?" She asks clinically, but with an undertone of understanding and worry flowing through the connection between our…
It… I… err…
What is wrong with me!?
"Oh… umm… I remember everything I think, but everything kinda fades to white after I… uh…" I start with a mumble and end with an embarrassed palm to my face.
"Shinji-kun? Is everything alright?"
"Oh my god… I can't believe I said that." I'm not ashamed to admit that my voice broke into a whimper at the memory.
And everything is probably on camera.
Ritsuko-san at least is having fun with my current dilemma. "Fufu, do you mean your final attack? I thought it to be rather aptly named if a bit childish. How did it go? Burning drill… hmm… was it… breaker?"
Cough!
"Shinji-kun!? The good doctor recoils as a bright red spray of blood exits my mouth and shimmers before disappearing into the air. That nobody seems to notice as said life maintaining liquid seemingly erases itself from reality?
…
Nope. Just woozy from waking up from a coma Shinji. Nobody actually coughs up blood like that in real life from shame of all things.
My life isn't a shounen manga.
"Please stop Ritsuko-san. I might really die." I grumble causing Ritsuko-san to chuckle quietly behind her charting tablet.
"Ritsuko-san?" Rei has taken the time to gather herself and looks up at the doctor with what I'm assuming is her greatest, most fearsome attack. "Is it safe for Shinji to eat?" She asks, smiling cutely.
Dr. Akagi responds in a way that brings feelings of great distress, but for reasons I am not quite sure of.
Her knowing expression does my poor heart no favors. At all. "... hoho… ahem, yes. It should be safe for your cousin to take in soft foods such as the breakfast you've prepared day after day for Shinji-kun" Ritsuko-san singsongs in a manner more expected of Misato-san.
When I look at Rei she refuses to meet my stare, looking away with softly heated cheeks flaring in embarrassment.
… I want to poke her cheeks and watch them balloon up into a pout.
Am I bad cousin? Probably.
But it'd be cute right? "Geez Rei, you didn't have to…" I say with a playful grin.
In response, Rei narrows her eyes into a put upon glare and roughly places (not slams) the still steaming plates and bowls of food on the bed tray.
"Eat. I know I got it right this time." The bluette whispers to herself. Softly.
Worriedly.
I don't hesitate. I hate seeing Rei like this. Like she can't measure up to whatever she's comparing herself to-
…
T...t...to…
"Okay Shinji-chan. I'll be right here, but you make everything yourself this time okay? Me and Rei-chan will grade you so don't burn anything!" Grandma places her hands against her hip and grins at me-
"R-Rei… this… I… I can remember her face…" I say, looking forward at the ghostly visage of a memory I thought I'd forgotten forever.
Grandmother smiles before fading away along with the taste of warm rice and mackerel.
"Shinji?" Rei looks up at me with a worried expression that slowly turns into a small, heartfelt smile as I continue to eat as if every grain of rice and flaky piece of fish will be my last!
I take another bite. And another.
I remember… I remember!
Taking a long, loud slurp of my soup I stare wide-eyed at the man who is blinking behind his unfashionable sunglasses! "Father, you-you have to try this! You'll get it as soon as you take a sip of the miso!"
Without thinking I hold out my own bowl for the man to take. The millimeter of raised eyebrow tells me that my Father is both confused and humored at my current exuberance, but it as soon as he takes a sip I know.
He sips. He pauses.
…
He takes longer drink this time. Carefully. Wondrously.
Carefully he places the empty bowl down and turns around, gloved hand on the lower part of his face. "I… please excuse me. There is someone I should have seen a long time ago." Father whispers.
I can feel him. The raw emotion broiling within his muted heart-
-
A heartbeat. A single moment in time.
Father pours an offering of freshly squeezed lemon juice next to me as we kneel side by side next to the grave of Grandmother.
You saw her too, didn't you Father?
…
Yes. As exuberant and full of life as I remember when I was your age.
I miss her Father. Rei does too.
I know.
There are many unspoken words in that moment even within the time our thoughts and feelings transcended the physical. It is as I see the droplets of moisture glittering from father's eyes to the sanitized floor of the hospital that I think I can understand him just that little bit more.
Despite his heroic strength blessing him with impossible power, the sorrows that father carries within his weathered heart weighs him down so heavily that it feels as if he's carrying the weight of the world upon his weary shoulders.
But… that is only skin deep.
I can see his heart. The embers of unstoppable determination lying in wait until the day until it is reignited. A dying fireplace compared to my brightly shining candle.
I want to put my hand on his shoulder. To let him know that I am ready to share the burden.
But even as he walks away into the forbidding darkness ahead I can see his shoulders straighten, head holding itself just that little bit higher. He turns slightly, enough so that I can see the corner of his eye from his profile and I can see it. The fire is growing once again.
Your time will come my son. But that time is not now.
Not while I still have the strength to shield what is important to me.
---
… I should not have done this.
…. Don't be stupid Rei. Can't you see it?
I do.
Then… why?
Because Uncle wishes to shield the world by himself, no matter how much it hurts him.
… do you remember the words Grandma always used to say?
Make your own path, no matter what anyone else says…
Then fuck what Father wants. Because we'll be there whether he-
-likes it or not. I'm sorry Shinji.
Don't apologize Rei. Grandma said that Father needs a kick in the ass.
Eh?
Part 3: Days Gone
-
Ikari Shinji
March 1st, 2006
Tokyo 3
Ikari Family Apartment
-
The air screeches in pain as the beating power coalescing in my hand rotates ever faster.
"Shin-chan?" "Shinji?"
This time when the Angel futilely puts its hand up to block my strike…
"Shin-chan!" "Shinji!"
The strength of my soul shreds beyond the metaphysical and directly through material flesh and core before the world fades to white-.
"Shin-chan! Wake up!" "Shinji! Wake up!"
"Nnn…" I grump and snuggle deeper into my covers and try to block out the stupid sun. It doesn't last long though. The smell of grandma boiling rice and mixing miso into the anchovy stock makes my tummy hungry enough that I can't go back to sleep anyway.
What a weird dream.
I try to rub the dust out of my eyes with both hands, but only one arm listens to me.
"Reeeeeiiiiii…" My other arm is being held tightly in my cousin's arm like she does everyday. "Wake up. We need to brush our teeth and stuff."
Rei never sleeps in her own bed. She doesn't like to be alone.
"Nooooo… sleeeeeeep…" My mewling blue haired friend only holds onto me tighter than she normally does, so I gently shake her until she grumbles and let's go to turn away and bury herself in my blankets.
Ow. Does Rei normally hold onto me that tight?
"Reeeeiiiii, if you don't wake up you know what's going to happen." I warn, eyes narrowed and hands held out in the shape of claws.
"Mmmnnoooo…" She sleepily mumbles and curls into a ball still half asleep but knowing enough that she really shouldn't be listening.
Okay. You asked for it!
Shining Finger!
"Hya!" At once my blue haired cousin's eyes shoot open and she does her best to further roll herself into a blanket dumpling, attempting to grow armor to defend her sides from my attack!
Mwahaha! Fooooool! None can withstand the might of my Shining Finger Double!
"I'm up… I'm up...! Shiiiiiinjiiiiiiiii… stooooooop…!" Rei squeaks and whispers softly as she squirms this way and that tiredly, poking her head out from her useless blanket fort with a small frown. "Mean." She mumbles and suddenly tosses her pillow at my face in a brutal maneuver!
Maneuver? What does that mean- ah!
With a tiny huff, Rei rolls off the bed into her too big bunny slippers and shuffles her way to the bathroom with a little grin that I know is on her face.
She always had fun sliding around in those things huh?
Taking my sudden defeat with good humor, I trail along behind her and stop at the small desk with a picture of my grandmother back when she was still young.
"Good morning Grandmother. Please watch over us today as well." I stop, put my hands together, and bow.
Strangely, Rei ignores the picture and keeps trodding to the bathroom with single minded purpose. It's weird. We always pay our respects together in the morning-
"Maaaah, Shin-chan, what are you babbling about? Be a good boy and brush your teeth! Just because it's the weekend doesn't mean you get to learn any bad habits, you hear!?"
"Y-yes grandma!" I yelp and quickly run to the bathroom before I get a ladle tossed in my direction!
"1..2...3...4..5, 1..2...3..4...5-" Rei mumbles around her toothbrush with a serious look on her face as she counts the rotations she makes on each area.
It's cute.
She actually still does it sometimes if she's sleepy enough…
Still?
"Is something wrong Shinji? Grandma's going to yell if when she checks your breath if you don't brush." The little girl standing next to me says with a tilt of her head and frowns. "Ah. Lost count… 1...2...3..4..5-"
So cute.
"I need to head to the market, you two eat and do your chores okay? You can go play after!" Grandma yells from the dining room. I can hear the last few plates clinking down before I walk out of the bathroom…
But Grandma's already gone.
"...did you hear Grandma leave Rei?"
"? Umm… I think so?"
"Rei, you didn't have to make us breakfast… you haven't slept either have you?
"...It isn't the same…"
"Rei?"
"It doesn't taste the same Misato-san."
Breakfast tastes… strange.
It doesn't taste like Grandma's cooking.
… I don't remember what it's supposed to taste like, but this isn't it.
What the...
"Shinji. Dishes?"
"Oh- yeah! Hey, hey, what did Grandma always say about holding too many plates at once!"
-
Ikari Shinji
March 1st, 2006
Tokyo 3
Ikari Family Apartment
-
"Shin-chan? Wake up! It's time for breakfast!" Grandma's voice calls out loudly from the kitchen!
"Nnn… okay Grandma!" I wake up, wake Rei up, go brush my teeth, and eat breakfast.
"Rei… why don't you go back home? Just for a few hours and get some real sleep in."
"I will not go home without Shinji. We always go home from NERV together. You know that Ritsuko-san"
It doesn't taste like Grandma's food.
"I'll be back later Shin-chan!"
Where is Grandma going?
"Shinji. Dishes?"
-
Ikari Shinji
March 1st, 2006
Tokyo 3
Ikari Family Apartment
-
"Shin-chan? Breakfast!" Her voice… it sounds like it's coming from miles away.
My heart is trying to tell me something-
"I'm awake Grandma! Wait!" I'm already up, but Rei is still sleeping. So I wake her up and don't brush my teeth today and run to the dining room!
Where are you Grandma?
"Rei-kun… you really don't need to cook breakfast for us everyday. You already spend so much time on the bento-"
"I know Fuyutsuki-sensei. But I will do so until he wakes up."
By the time I get there, she's already gone and the food is already on the table...
It tastes better, but it's still not the same...
"Shin-chan..." Grandma? Why do you sound so far away?
"Shinji…" Rei looks down at me, suddenly taller and… sadder.
"Rei?"
"Please wake up…"
But I'm awake?
-
Ikari Shinji
March 1st, 2006
Tokyo 3
Ikari Family Apartment
-
"Shin-chan! Wake up!" Grandma! Wait!
I'm already off the bed and running out the door. I don't notice how much smaller Rei is nor do I bother with going to the bathroom.
Something is wrong.
"Rei. Go come home with me. Please. You must rest."
"He always woke up for Grandmother's breakfast Uncle... he'll wake up if I make it right."
"...Rei…"
"I know he will."
But the plates are there again… so I eat-
"Remember to always place your fingers down like this when you cut an onion, kay kids?"
"Yes Grandma."
"Okay Grandma!"
I… remember that day… the taste, it's not the same but…
"Shinji…" I look down to see a small, scared child worriedly wringing the small washcloth in her hand...
"Rei? What's wrong? Why…?"
Why does my arm feel wet?
"Please help me Grandmother…" She whispers before turning around and walking down an empty hallway without end.
No!
"Rei? Rei!"
I'm here! I'm awake! Rei! Rei-
-
Ikari Shinji
March 1st, 2006
Tokyo 3
Ikari Family Apartment
-
I'm awake. I am at the table. And finally, finally, Grandma is right here-
"Grandma… why can't I remember what you look like?" I… why can't I remember!?
She's right here!
She's right here!
Right. Here.
Here.here.here.she'shereherehereherewhereisshethisisn'trightwhycan't-
WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER HER FACE!?!?!?
The sensation of a warm and weathered hand gently cupping my cheek brings me to a sudden stop. "Oh Shin-chan… why don't you wake up and have a bite of the breakfast Rei made you? I'm sure you'll remember me then." The ghostly reflection wearing the face of a familiar young woman whispers softly into my hair.
It shouldn't be young.
"What are you talking about Grandma? You're scaring me..." I cry. Nothing makes sense.
What is happening? Why can't I remember her face!?
"Don't be afraid Shin-chan. Everything will be alright." Grandma coos and knocks her forehead against mine with a smile that reminds me so much of her but not.
"But… but you're going to go away again aren't you? If I wake up you won't be there anymore-" I blabber, only to have a finger gently shush me.
Her strange eyes are just as bright as ever. It… calms me...
"Idiot. So much like your Father. It only hurts everyone else you care about if you stay in the past forever my precious grandson." She says softly, wrapping her lean, strong arms around my shoulders and pulling me close. "I love you Shinji. Tell Rei that I love her too and that I'm sorry for before."
The familiar sensation of wetness grows against my shoulder as I lean into my loving grandmother's arms and hold her tightly.
I don't want to let you go.
You have to sweet child.
She runs her calloused fingers through my hair fondly before forcibly pulling back with a watery, gentle smile. "And tell my fool of a son to come and visit me sometime. I wanted this. Stay safe Shin-chan and remember."
"Follow your own path, no matter what anyone else says." Says the ghost of Rokubungi Ryuko.
Grandmother?
"What are you talking about!?-" My eyes widen as she shoves a spoonful of rice and pan seared mackerel into my mouth!?-
...
This taste…
No.
I remember this scent.
"Remember, the most important part of making miso soup is the anchovy base! The longer you can simmer the stock, the richer the flavor!"
"How long do you simmer for Grandma?"
"Heh. For as long as I need to Shin-chan."
"Grandma?"
-
Ikari Shinji
April 27th, 2015
Geofront
Hospital Level
-
I can see her. It's blurry, but I can see her crying softly into my chest-
"Grandma?" I gasp, desperately reaching for the figure who is already fading away into…
...into...
"Shinji!" The familiar blue hair that smells of miso and fresh cucumbers brushes against my nose.
"R-rei? Wh-where's… oh." A dream. It was all a dream.
A large, gloved hand places itself down upon my shoulder with a firm, but somehow relieved grip. "It is good that you have awakened Shinji."
"Father? What… what's going on?" I manage to ask despite the head of hair that is buried into my chest when a familiar labcoat swishes to my side followed by a polite cough. "Ritsuko-san?"
"Good morning Shinji-kun. I'm going to have to ask you to take a deep breath and stay calm while I check you over, understood?" The pseudo blonde doctor does her best to smile reassuringly.
Her best is… actually pretty relaxing.
I can feel her relief. The way her heartbeat resonates with mine.
Ritsuko-san is honestly relieved that I am awake.
Why?
Because her heart is telling me that she cares about my wellbeing.
Not like a doctor would a patient. But someone between family and close friend. Because she believes in me-
...What?
"You destroyed the Angel, but the battle was not without consequence. You had minor brain trauma and a concussion from your initial class with the Angel codenamed Sachiel. The neural feedback from the damage you took combined with your high synchronization rate caused you to go into a short coma for a period of seven days after you vanquished the enemy… how much do you remember of the battle?" She asks clinically, but with an undertone of understanding and worry flowing through the connection between our…
It… I… err…
What is wrong with me!?
"Oh… umm… I remember everything I think, but everything kinda fades to white after I… uh…" I start with a mumble and end with an embarrassed palm to my face.
"Shinji-kun? Is everything alright?"
"Oh my god… I can't believe I said that." I'm not ashamed to admit that my voice broke into a whimper at the memory.
And everything is probably on camera.
Ritsuko-san at least is having fun with my current dilemma. "Fufu, do you mean your final attack? I thought it to be rather aptly named if a bit childish. How did it go? Burning drill… hmm… was it… breaker?"
Cough!
"Shinji-kun!? The good doctor recoils as a bright red spray of blood exits my mouth and shimmers before disappearing into the air. That nobody seems to notice as said life maintaining liquid seemingly erases itself from reality?
…
Nope. Just woozy from waking up from a coma Shinji. Nobody actually coughs up blood like that in real life from shame of all things.
My life isn't a shounen manga.
"Please stop Ritsuko-san. I might really die." I grumble causing Ritsuko-san to chuckle quietly behind her charting tablet.
"Ritsuko-san?" Rei has taken the time to gather herself and looks up at the doctor with what I'm assuming is her greatest, most fearsome attack. "Is it safe for Shinji to eat?" She asks, smiling cutely.
Dr. Akagi responds in a way that brings feelings of great distress, but for reasons I am not quite sure of.
Her knowing expression does my poor heart no favors. At all. "... hoho… ahem, yes. It should be safe for your cousin to take in soft foods such as the breakfast you've prepared day after day for Shinji-kun" Ritsuko-san singsongs in a manner more expected of Misato-san.
When I look at Rei she refuses to meet my stare, looking away with softly heated cheeks flaring in embarrassment.
… I want to poke her cheeks and watch them balloon up into a pout.
Am I bad cousin? Probably.
But it'd be cute right? "Geez Rei, you didn't have to…" I say with a playful grin.
In response, Rei narrows her eyes into a put upon glare and roughly places (not slams) the still steaming plates and bowls of food on the bed tray.
"Eat. I know I got it right this time." The bluette whispers to herself. Softly.
Worriedly.
I don't hesitate. I hate seeing Rei like this. Like she can't measure up to whatever she's comparing herself to-
…
T...t...to…
"Okay Shinji-chan. I'll be right here, but you make everything yourself this time okay? Me and Rei-chan will grade you so don't burn anything!" Grandma places her hands against her hip and grins at me-
"R-Rei… this… I… I can remember her face…" I say, looking forward at the ghostly visage of a memory I thought I'd forgotten forever.
Grandmother smiles before fading away along with the taste of warm rice and mackerel.
"Shinji?" Rei looks up at me with a worried expression that slowly turns into a small, heartfelt smile as I continue to eat as if every grain of rice and flaky piece of fish will be my last!
I take another bite. And another.
I remember… I remember!
Taking a long, loud slurp of my soup I stare wide-eyed at the man who is blinking behind his unfashionable sunglasses! "Father, you-you have to try this! You'll get it as soon as you take a sip of the miso!"
Without thinking I hold out my own bowl for the man to take. The millimeter of raised eyebrow tells me that my Father is both confused and humored at my current exuberance, but it as soon as he takes a sip I know.
He sips. He pauses.
…
He takes longer drink this time. Carefully. Wondrously.
Carefully he places the empty bowl down and turns around, gloved hand on the lower part of his face. "I… please excuse me. There is someone I should have seen a long time ago." Father whispers.
I can feel him. The raw emotion broiling within his muted heart-
-
A heartbeat. A single moment in time.
Father pours an offering of freshly squeezed lemon juice next to me as we kneel side by side next to the grave of Grandmother.
You saw her too, didn't you Father?
…
Yes. As exuberant and full of life as I remember when I was your age.
I miss her Father. Rei does too.
I know.
There are many unspoken words in that moment even within the time our thoughts and feelings transcended the physical. It is as I see the droplets of moisture glittering from father's eyes to the sanitized floor of the hospital that I think I can understand him just that little bit more.
Despite his heroic strength blessing him with impossible power, the sorrows that father carries within his weathered heart weighs him down so heavily that it feels as if he's carrying the weight of the world upon his weary shoulders.
But… that is only skin deep.
I can see his heart. The embers of unstoppable determination lying in wait until the day until it is reignited. A dying fireplace compared to my brightly shining candle.
I want to put my hand on his shoulder. To let him know that I am ready to share the burden.
But even as he walks away into the forbidding darkness ahead I can see his shoulders straighten, head holding itself just that little bit higher. He turns slightly, enough so that I can see the corner of his eye from his profile and I can see it. The fire is growing once again.
Your time will come my son. But that time is not now.
Not while I still have the strength to shield what is important to me.
---
… I should not have done this.
…. Don't be stupid Rei. Can't you see it?
I do.
Then… why?
Because Uncle wishes to shield the world by himself, no matter how much it hurts him.
… do you remember the words Grandma always used to say?
Make your own path, no matter what anyone else says…
Then fuck what Father wants. Because we'll be there whether he-
-likes it or not. I'm sorry Shinji.
Don't apologize Rei. Grandma said that Father needs a kick in the ass.
Eh?
Last edited:
2-1: Aya-Nami
konamikode
Cooking Harder
Chapter 2: Asuka^2
Part 1: Aya-Nami
-
Ayanami Rei
May 6th, 2015
Tokyo 3
Ikari Family Apartment
-
It is with a sense of great excitement that I have awoken this morning and prepared myself for the momentous occasion ahead. The first thing I did after eating breakfast was to make myself presentable for my conversation with Asuka. I showered, properly dried my hair, and spent more time than I usually do at my small, but well stocked vanity in making sure that I am sufficiently 'prettied up'. The clothing I have chosen is both tasteful and ensures that my odd features are accentuated in a pleasing manner. While normally I am not quite so… 'high maintenance' as I've heard Misato-san put it, I did very much enjoy the expressions of surprise from Uncle and Shinji when I walked out earlier to retrieve PenPen from Misato-san's apartment.
I am feeling nervous and penguins are very cuddlesome.
So it is with no little trepidation that I spend the next twenty minutes looking over myself in the mirror and keeping my eye on the time at the bottom corner of my computer. Because while this is not the first time I have been tasked with a public relations interview, this is the first time I've done so on my own accord.
Seeing that our agreed upon time has come, I connect to my friend's twitch channel and wait for the video to buffer-
"Heeeeey everyone! This is everyone's favorite giant mecha pilot and gaming queen Shiki streaming live from aboard the USS 'Over the Rainbow' of the United Nations Pacific Fleet!" Asuka Shikinami Langley smiles and waves energetically at the camera, hand half hidden underneath the too large EVA Unit 02.2 jacket.
"Sorry I missed the last few scheduled streams, but saving the world and all that comes first right? I haven't been able to tell you all about where I've been this last week and a half, but now that we're the better part of a day out from our destination, the brass have decided to lift the OPSEC ban on social media! I know, I know, how could those hardasses keep me away from my viewers? But trust me when I say that the wait was more than worth it! Say 'hi' Schrodinger!" Her grin grows wider as she points out the formerly drab steel room that has been covered in various posters and zooms the camera in on her fluffy Norwegian Forest Cat who looks up from atop her bed with a plaintive 'meow' before jumping off to his own in disinterest.
As usual, her chatbox explodes from her larger than average audience of 50,000 viewers.
Omg shiki goin to japan!
Holy shit! No way!
Go kick monster ass best girl!
Kitty cat! So cute!
Yooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, is that bad ass motherfucker that went all super hero on that kaiju gonna be on the podcast!?
OMG XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD do you know him!? IS HE Cute Shiki!?!?!?
It's with a self satisfied glance that Asuka leans forwards towards the camera. "And as some of you guys are already guessing in chat, I can confirm it! Your favorite twitch persona Shiki is currently sailing straight for Tokyo-3! And I bet you can't guess who I managed to snag for this week's long overdue podcast! Everyone give a round of emojis to my childhood friend and fellow pilot, R-"
One fortifying breath and a mouse click later, I am connected to Asuka's computer, my own camera focused on...
"Wark?" PenPen looks curiously at my webcam and taps a flipper against it with a tilt of his head.
"... a warm water penguin? The heck?" Asuka blinks. "Rei? You there?"
"Bad. Be a good bird PenPen." I pat my lap and dutifully the small avian waddles his way into my arms, banishing my small frown of chastisement. "Hello Asuka. I apologize for missing your streams last week. Shinji was… not well."
At my explanation my brunette friend sports her own expression of worry for moment, biting her lower lip in concern. "Is he okay? He got rocked pretty hard by that creepy looking thing."
"Shinji is stronger than his slim physique implies. He and Uncle are recovering Grandmother's old cookbooks and having a male bonding moment." I say with a small smile as Asuka's downturned lips open and she blinks in incredulous thought at the mental image.
I too was surprised, but for other reasons. Usually Uncle worked weekends as well but had taken the day off so that he could be home with family.
It was a heartening feeling.
"Eh? Your scary old Uncle is cooking? The supreme commander of NERV Japan. This is who you're talking about right? Not old man Fuyutsuki?" My friend says in confusion and links the world famous picture of Ikari Gendo with his hands customarily folded and looking down menacingly at a crowd during a press conference.
I distinctly remember him being very frenetic that day and had spent hours talking to himself in front of the mirror to practice his single line.
"All is going according to the foreseen scenario." He didn't even stutter once. I don't know how he faces so many cameras without so much as a nervous flinch. Although I believe that it did help that specific phrase was his answer for every question posed to him by the hundreds of reporters asking for further clarification.
A blink banishes the errant thought and I focus back on what Asuka had asked, frowning mutely. "Baking cookies, and yes." I narrow my eyes in further displeasure. "Uncle is not frightening. He is simply very shy."
I explain so, leaning forward with my hands clasped in front of me and on top of PenPen's soft red crest causing him to make a small noise in protest.
Asuka palms her uncovered eye and mumbles to herself. "This is gonna turn into a meme real quick… anyway, welcome to the podcast Rei! Everyone Rei Ayanami, Rei, Everyone!"
"Hello. Please excuse me if my english is not very inflective. I do not often have a chance to practice outside of the classroom." I quote my practiced line with great efficiency and as gracefully as two days of practice has drilled into me. I think I did that very well.
"Rei, your Japanese isn't much better either." So says my friend with a playful grin much to my growing inner horror.
This is not part of the script Asuka! You know I'm not good at ad libbing!
"This is true. But I have been practicing." When in doubt smile demurely and respond to the topic at hand!
"Careful there girl, you're going to end up giving my viewers diabetes if you keep this up." Approves Asuka, poking her cheek to more prominently show a canine playfully.
"I have been told that being innocently cute is one of my charm points." I reply evenly, satisfied that this will be the end of the thrown away script-
"Innocent. Riiiiight. I still remember a certain someone charming the local store owners for free popsicles."
A spot of irritation floats up and I hold onto it for later. It is time that I showed you that I have improved upon my sense of humor! "I recall you did much the same Asuka. Did you not offload the majority of your chores onto Shinji when you realized he would not tell his father-"
Asuka is quick to sputter and wave her hands wildly in front of her screen with a panicked look.
"Ahahahaha!!! Let's not drag up the past eh? I'd rather not give Shinji ammo when he watches the stream later-"
"He doesn't watch your stream." I feign confusion, tilting my head in a manner that shows that I am simply making a rhetorical comment requiring the other party to respond.
"Eh? The hell do you mean he doesn't watch my stream!?" The younger Langley sister twitches and closes her uncovered eye whilst grinning in a very unhappy manner.
Knowing that I have Asuka drawn in like a particularly insistent penguin, I continue to lay down my quickly schemed ploy with an explanatory statement. "He still isn't very good at video games. His interests lie elsewhere."
Oh. She is not happy.
"But… grrrrrr baka-Shinji! Rei, I need you to drag his ass into your room and get him on the podcast! I'm gonna have words with that stupid, no social media using, luddite!" Asuka is currently less her internet famous persona and is instead channeling a very real sense of hurt pride.
"He is currently busy with…" I act as if backpedalling to defend my cousin, but our childhood friend bites down harder on her feelings.
"Don't care! That little punk thinks he can get away forgetting about me, he's got another thing coming!"
Now.
"Ah… he asks me often about you?" I respond, tilting my head as if just remembering a previous event relevant to the conversation at hand.
"Hah?" Asuka has always been a girl influenced by her feelings of inadequacy. She has worked very hard to get where she is and has a habit of pushing people away rather than creating new bonds.
"He's was very excited to hear that you were being assigned to NERV Japan. He wishes to interact with you in person." So it is simple to deduce that when it comes to people that she actively shows care towards that Asuka quickly becomes flustered when a level of interest is shown back.
Oddly enough she never expects it despite what a person would normally believe otherwise.
"I-in person? What do you mean by that?" The girl asks with a slight hiccup at the beginning of her sentence. She tries to cover it up by ignoring it and quickly moving onto further questioning.
"Shinji has always been bad with communication when not speaking in a close environment. He tends to overthink what he should say." A thoughtful look passes over my lips. "I believe he desires to feel your 'heartbeat' when he speaks with you."
"H-heartbeat!?" Asuka squeaks, face flushed prettily. "Wonder Girl I swear to god if you're messing with me right now…"
Ah? I expected her to become flustered, but not quite so…?
"Have I been misleading in my words? I'm sorry. To clarify your childhood friend and my distant cousin, Shinji Ikari, wishes to reunite with you in a private setting and in person. In this way there will be no distractions or chance of misinterpretation through less physical methods of communication." I explain with real confusion tingeing my voice.
I had not even gotten to the end of my joke, but already Asuka was behaving as if I had?
…
I wonder how she'll react once I 'finish' my humorous dialogue with her?
"Shinji and I have looked forward to bonding with and sharing our many experiences with you, Asuka."
"I… guh… er… Rei… I didn't…" My friend mumbles, looking away from the camera and scratching the side of her cheek in a manner very reminiscent of Shinji when he doesn't know what to say.
"You're still very cute. I would very much like to play with your hair again." I finish warmly, smiling and lightly petting PenPen.
Looking at the chat, I believe that my recollection and insinuation of our childish moments of playing pretend has had the desired effect on Asuka who looks as if she can't believe I'd bring up something so embarrassing!
So exciting!
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck m8
Rei best gurl.
Waifu plz!
Damn this girl know what she wants!
So how related are you and your 'cousin'? Just curious :3.
Hey can you stream a three*USER HAS BEEN BANNED*
Look! I'm succeeding at social activity Uncle!
"I have already bought many hair care products and accessories. I'm sure with a bit of persuasion we can have Shinji join us for 'girl time' like we used to… Asuka?" I hide my smile, looking to the side surreptitiously.
Well, maybe not so secretly.
"God damn it Rei."
"?" I'm still not good at hiding my amusement it seems.
"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"
"Oh? Doing what on purpose?" I am unable to fully hide my grin and burst into a fit of giggles as Asuka growls in an exasperated, but still slightly frightening manner.
"REI!"
"I'm sorry. The opportunity was too fortuitous to ignore." Yet a question still remains."But why were you so flustered? I had simply thought to bring up embarrassing childhood events that I have not yet been able to fully recall in detail?"
Asuka looks away and palms her face while fanning her other hand at the screen rapidly. "N-nothing! It's nothing! Anyway what's with the penguin?" She masterfully changes the subject while muttering to herself about 'blue haired trolls' or some such nonsense.
Someone so versed in fantasy games should know that trolls are hairless? But that is not the question she asked.
"He's the pet of the Operations Director. She happens to live next door and leaves him with us on the weekends she works. I thought that having a 'mascot' would bring you more viewers much like Schrodinger does." I say and point towards Asuka's cat, her camera automatically tracking the grooming ball of soft looking fur.
"Mrow?"
"He is also very cute. So fluffy." So Floof. "I want to hold him. I will trade him for PenPen." I hold the penguin from under his flippers and offer him to my friend.
Her contemplating expression shows a happy, future promise working in the back of her mind. "... we can talk about that when I get there. So how much longer is Shinji going to be busy? I'd like to at least have him make an appearance on the podcast."
"I suppose that wouldn't be too bothersome to his bonding time with Uncle. A moment please." Standing up with PenPen held securely in my arms, I turn away from the camera to open the door to my room before calling out loudly "Shinji."
"Yeah? What is it Rei?" My cousin calls back from the kitchen, the scent of baking cookie dough pleasantly hitting my nose.
"Asuka wishes to speak with you." I reply, poking my head out the door to meet with Shinji's blue windows to soul from down the hall.
As expected, he looks suitably uncomfortable.
"H-huh!? Asuka!? O-oh man, you guys are livestreaming aren't you? Hold on I've still got flour all over me and I'm wearing the joke apron you got-" He attempts to undo his frilly pink apron with dough caked hands when Uncle appears behind him.
"Do not be a fool my son. Young Shikinami is your friend is she not? She will understand your state of disarray." So says Uncle Gendo with a clear, disposable plastic gloved hand on his son's shoulder. "Now come, it has been some time since I have spoken with her. It would be rude not to greet her."
"F-father, wait! She's livestreaming-" Shinji attempts to push back against his father, but is instead dragged into my room by his unrelenting grip.
"It is of no consequence. Let the world see that we are only human."
"C-commander Ikari!?" My brunette childhood friend goggles, jaw dropped open in disbelief.
As nonchalant as ever, Uncle waves without any noticeable change in expression.
"Greetings Asuka. It has been many years-"
"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WEARING!?!?" The red haired german/american/japanese girl shouts with a wide eye. The eyepatch she wears over her left, perfectly functioning orb, glows a bright blue, showing her agitated state.
When I asked her about it before in a private conversation she sputtered and said that it was a streaming prop before ripping it off and tossing it onto her bed.
"An apron. Is that cause for concern?"
"IT'S PINK! WITH FRILLS!" Asuka screams incredulously, pointing her finger through her webcam. Her hat falls slightly askew.
Behind her Schrodinger mewls, licks his paw and curls back up in his cat bed. Shinji on the other hand looks as if the world is about to end.
I really want to hold him.
Uncle's expression doesn't change, but the light glinting off of his orange sunglasses seem to brighten a shade. "Hrm. I see. Perhaps you are worried that by presenting myself in effeminate clothing, it will cause the people of the world to form a less than respectful opinion about NERV? Asuka, please. You must believe more in the youth of this world. Now more than ever do people understand that tolerance is a faded concept and that Love is the true answer to hate and bigotry-"
"What? No! That's not the, I mean… it's YOU Commander Ikari! You can't, that apron, leader of NERV- scary bearded man!" She sputters and points in a manner that makes her previous declaration clearer.
"Ah. How foolish of me. You must be shocked that I, the frightening and coldly rigid supreme commander of NERV Japan am wearing a frilly pink apron?" He says with a soft smile as Shinji covers his face next to him in shame.
"YES!"
"It was a gift from my niece. It would be shameful of me to not wear it out of embarrassment despite her humorous intentions. Besides." Commander Ikari crosses his arms, tilts his head back, and brings up a hand to adjust his glasses with two dough covered fingers.
"Real men wear pink." Declaration made Commander Ikari dramatically turns around and exits my room, the front of his frilly pink apron swaying in the sudden breeze.
So cool.
"... Hi Asuka." My cousin sighs and says with an exasperated smile. "I've missed you."
Said girl's face goes through several shades of red from Shinji's declaration and sputters nonsensically before her stream disconnects.
"... ah? Did her internet go out?" Shinji asks me in confusion and I can only shrug in reply.
*Bzz! Bzz!*
Blinking and wondering who it could be I pick up my phone only to see a short message on my chat app. It reads...
"Idiot! Stupid! Dummy!" - Asuka SL
"Was it something I said?" My cousin wonders and I can only shrug in reply.
Asuka was always a little strange.
From the ocean, the sun stirs
Part 1: Aya-Nami
-
Ayanami Rei
May 6th, 2015
Tokyo 3
Ikari Family Apartment
-
It is with a sense of great excitement that I have awoken this morning and prepared myself for the momentous occasion ahead. The first thing I did after eating breakfast was to make myself presentable for my conversation with Asuka. I showered, properly dried my hair, and spent more time than I usually do at my small, but well stocked vanity in making sure that I am sufficiently 'prettied up'. The clothing I have chosen is both tasteful and ensures that my odd features are accentuated in a pleasing manner. While normally I am not quite so… 'high maintenance' as I've heard Misato-san put it, I did very much enjoy the expressions of surprise from Uncle and Shinji when I walked out earlier to retrieve PenPen from Misato-san's apartment.
I am feeling nervous and penguins are very cuddlesome.
So it is with no little trepidation that I spend the next twenty minutes looking over myself in the mirror and keeping my eye on the time at the bottom corner of my computer. Because while this is not the first time I have been tasked with a public relations interview, this is the first time I've done so on my own accord.
Seeing that our agreed upon time has come, I connect to my friend's twitch channel and wait for the video to buffer-
"Heeeeey everyone! This is everyone's favorite giant mecha pilot and gaming queen Shiki streaming live from aboard the USS 'Over the Rainbow' of the United Nations Pacific Fleet!" Asuka Shikinami Langley smiles and waves energetically at the camera, hand half hidden underneath the too large EVA Unit 02.2 jacket.
"Sorry I missed the last few scheduled streams, but saving the world and all that comes first right? I haven't been able to tell you all about where I've been this last week and a half, but now that we're the better part of a day out from our destination, the brass have decided to lift the OPSEC ban on social media! I know, I know, how could those hardasses keep me away from my viewers? But trust me when I say that the wait was more than worth it! Say 'hi' Schrodinger!" Her grin grows wider as she points out the formerly drab steel room that has been covered in various posters and zooms the camera in on her fluffy Norwegian Forest Cat who looks up from atop her bed with a plaintive 'meow' before jumping off to his own in disinterest.
As usual, her chatbox explodes from her larger than average audience of 50,000 viewers.
Omg shiki goin to japan!
Holy shit! No way!
Go kick monster ass best girl!
Kitty cat! So cute!
Yooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, is that bad ass motherfucker that went all super hero on that kaiju gonna be on the podcast!?
OMG XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD do you know him!? IS HE Cute Shiki!?!?!?
It's with a self satisfied glance that Asuka leans forwards towards the camera. "And as some of you guys are already guessing in chat, I can confirm it! Your favorite twitch persona Shiki is currently sailing straight for Tokyo-3! And I bet you can't guess who I managed to snag for this week's long overdue podcast! Everyone give a round of emojis to my childhood friend and fellow pilot, R-"
One fortifying breath and a mouse click later, I am connected to Asuka's computer, my own camera focused on...
"Wark?" PenPen looks curiously at my webcam and taps a flipper against it with a tilt of his head.
"... a warm water penguin? The heck?" Asuka blinks. "Rei? You there?"
"Bad. Be a good bird PenPen." I pat my lap and dutifully the small avian waddles his way into my arms, banishing my small frown of chastisement. "Hello Asuka. I apologize for missing your streams last week. Shinji was… not well."
At my explanation my brunette friend sports her own expression of worry for moment, biting her lower lip in concern. "Is he okay? He got rocked pretty hard by that creepy looking thing."
"Shinji is stronger than his slim physique implies. He and Uncle are recovering Grandmother's old cookbooks and having a male bonding moment." I say with a small smile as Asuka's downturned lips open and she blinks in incredulous thought at the mental image.
I too was surprised, but for other reasons. Usually Uncle worked weekends as well but had taken the day off so that he could be home with family.
It was a heartening feeling.
"Eh? Your scary old Uncle is cooking? The supreme commander of NERV Japan. This is who you're talking about right? Not old man Fuyutsuki?" My friend says in confusion and links the world famous picture of Ikari Gendo with his hands customarily folded and looking down menacingly at a crowd during a press conference.
I distinctly remember him being very frenetic that day and had spent hours talking to himself in front of the mirror to practice his single line.
"All is going according to the foreseen scenario." He didn't even stutter once. I don't know how he faces so many cameras without so much as a nervous flinch. Although I believe that it did help that specific phrase was his answer for every question posed to him by the hundreds of reporters asking for further clarification.
A blink banishes the errant thought and I focus back on what Asuka had asked, frowning mutely. "Baking cookies, and yes." I narrow my eyes in further displeasure. "Uncle is not frightening. He is simply very shy."
I explain so, leaning forward with my hands clasped in front of me and on top of PenPen's soft red crest causing him to make a small noise in protest.
Asuka palms her uncovered eye and mumbles to herself. "This is gonna turn into a meme real quick… anyway, welcome to the podcast Rei! Everyone Rei Ayanami, Rei, Everyone!"
"Hello. Please excuse me if my english is not very inflective. I do not often have a chance to practice outside of the classroom." I quote my practiced line with great efficiency and as gracefully as two days of practice has drilled into me. I think I did that very well.
"Rei, your Japanese isn't much better either." So says my friend with a playful grin much to my growing inner horror.
This is not part of the script Asuka! You know I'm not good at ad libbing!
"This is true. But I have been practicing." When in doubt smile demurely and respond to the topic at hand!
"Careful there girl, you're going to end up giving my viewers diabetes if you keep this up." Approves Asuka, poking her cheek to more prominently show a canine playfully.
"I have been told that being innocently cute is one of my charm points." I reply evenly, satisfied that this will be the end of the thrown away script-
"Innocent. Riiiiight. I still remember a certain someone charming the local store owners for free popsicles."
A spot of irritation floats up and I hold onto it for later. It is time that I showed you that I have improved upon my sense of humor! "I recall you did much the same Asuka. Did you not offload the majority of your chores onto Shinji when you realized he would not tell his father-"
Asuka is quick to sputter and wave her hands wildly in front of her screen with a panicked look.
"Ahahahaha!!! Let's not drag up the past eh? I'd rather not give Shinji ammo when he watches the stream later-"
"He doesn't watch your stream." I feign confusion, tilting my head in a manner that shows that I am simply making a rhetorical comment requiring the other party to respond.
"Eh? The hell do you mean he doesn't watch my stream!?" The younger Langley sister twitches and closes her uncovered eye whilst grinning in a very unhappy manner.
Knowing that I have Asuka drawn in like a particularly insistent penguin, I continue to lay down my quickly schemed ploy with an explanatory statement. "He still isn't very good at video games. His interests lie elsewhere."
Oh. She is not happy.
"But… grrrrrr baka-Shinji! Rei, I need you to drag his ass into your room and get him on the podcast! I'm gonna have words with that stupid, no social media using, luddite!" Asuka is currently less her internet famous persona and is instead channeling a very real sense of hurt pride.
"He is currently busy with…" I act as if backpedalling to defend my cousin, but our childhood friend bites down harder on her feelings.
"Don't care! That little punk thinks he can get away forgetting about me, he's got another thing coming!"
Now.
"Ah… he asks me often about you?" I respond, tilting my head as if just remembering a previous event relevant to the conversation at hand.
"Hah?" Asuka has always been a girl influenced by her feelings of inadequacy. She has worked very hard to get where she is and has a habit of pushing people away rather than creating new bonds.
"He's was very excited to hear that you were being assigned to NERV Japan. He wishes to interact with you in person." So it is simple to deduce that when it comes to people that she actively shows care towards that Asuka quickly becomes flustered when a level of interest is shown back.
Oddly enough she never expects it despite what a person would normally believe otherwise.
"I-in person? What do you mean by that?" The girl asks with a slight hiccup at the beginning of her sentence. She tries to cover it up by ignoring it and quickly moving onto further questioning.
"Shinji has always been bad with communication when not speaking in a close environment. He tends to overthink what he should say." A thoughtful look passes over my lips. "I believe he desires to feel your 'heartbeat' when he speaks with you."
"H-heartbeat!?" Asuka squeaks, face flushed prettily. "Wonder Girl I swear to god if you're messing with me right now…"
Ah? I expected her to become flustered, but not quite so…?
"Have I been misleading in my words? I'm sorry. To clarify your childhood friend and my distant cousin, Shinji Ikari, wishes to reunite with you in a private setting and in person. In this way there will be no distractions or chance of misinterpretation through less physical methods of communication." I explain with real confusion tingeing my voice.
I had not even gotten to the end of my joke, but already Asuka was behaving as if I had?
…
I wonder how she'll react once I 'finish' my humorous dialogue with her?
"Shinji and I have looked forward to bonding with and sharing our many experiences with you, Asuka."
"I… guh… er… Rei… I didn't…" My friend mumbles, looking away from the camera and scratching the side of her cheek in a manner very reminiscent of Shinji when he doesn't know what to say.
"You're still very cute. I would very much like to play with your hair again." I finish warmly, smiling and lightly petting PenPen.
Looking at the chat, I believe that my recollection and insinuation of our childish moments of playing pretend has had the desired effect on Asuka who looks as if she can't believe I'd bring up something so embarrassing!
So exciting!
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck m8
Rei best gurl.
Waifu plz!
Damn this girl know what she wants!
So how related are you and your 'cousin'? Just curious :3.
Hey can you stream a three*USER HAS BEEN BANNED*
- Has subscribed
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Look! I'm succeeding at social activity Uncle!
"I have already bought many hair care products and accessories. I'm sure with a bit of persuasion we can have Shinji join us for 'girl time' like we used to… Asuka?" I hide my smile, looking to the side surreptitiously.
Well, maybe not so secretly.
"God damn it Rei."
"?" I'm still not good at hiding my amusement it seems.
"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"
"Oh? Doing what on purpose?" I am unable to fully hide my grin and burst into a fit of giggles as Asuka growls in an exasperated, but still slightly frightening manner.
"REI!"
"I'm sorry. The opportunity was too fortuitous to ignore." Yet a question still remains."But why were you so flustered? I had simply thought to bring up embarrassing childhood events that I have not yet been able to fully recall in detail?"
Asuka looks away and palms her face while fanning her other hand at the screen rapidly. "N-nothing! It's nothing! Anyway what's with the penguin?" She masterfully changes the subject while muttering to herself about 'blue haired trolls' or some such nonsense.
Someone so versed in fantasy games should know that trolls are hairless? But that is not the question she asked.
"He's the pet of the Operations Director. She happens to live next door and leaves him with us on the weekends she works. I thought that having a 'mascot' would bring you more viewers much like Schrodinger does." I say and point towards Asuka's cat, her camera automatically tracking the grooming ball of soft looking fur.
"Mrow?"
"He is also very cute. So fluffy." So Floof. "I want to hold him. I will trade him for PenPen." I hold the penguin from under his flippers and offer him to my friend.
Her contemplating expression shows a happy, future promise working in the back of her mind. "... we can talk about that when I get there. So how much longer is Shinji going to be busy? I'd like to at least have him make an appearance on the podcast."
"I suppose that wouldn't be too bothersome to his bonding time with Uncle. A moment please." Standing up with PenPen held securely in my arms, I turn away from the camera to open the door to my room before calling out loudly "Shinji."
"Yeah? What is it Rei?" My cousin calls back from the kitchen, the scent of baking cookie dough pleasantly hitting my nose.
"Asuka wishes to speak with you." I reply, poking my head out the door to meet with Shinji's blue windows to soul from down the hall.
As expected, he looks suitably uncomfortable.
"H-huh!? Asuka!? O-oh man, you guys are livestreaming aren't you? Hold on I've still got flour all over me and I'm wearing the joke apron you got-" He attempts to undo his frilly pink apron with dough caked hands when Uncle appears behind him.
"Do not be a fool my son. Young Shikinami is your friend is she not? She will understand your state of disarray." So says Uncle Gendo with a clear, disposable plastic gloved hand on his son's shoulder. "Now come, it has been some time since I have spoken with her. It would be rude not to greet her."
"F-father, wait! She's livestreaming-" Shinji attempts to push back against his father, but is instead dragged into my room by his unrelenting grip.
"It is of no consequence. Let the world see that we are only human."
"C-commander Ikari!?" My brunette childhood friend goggles, jaw dropped open in disbelief.
As nonchalant as ever, Uncle waves without any noticeable change in expression.
"Greetings Asuka. It has been many years-"
"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WEARING!?!?" The red haired german/american/japanese girl shouts with a wide eye. The eyepatch she wears over her left, perfectly functioning orb, glows a bright blue, showing her agitated state.
When I asked her about it before in a private conversation she sputtered and said that it was a streaming prop before ripping it off and tossing it onto her bed.
"An apron. Is that cause for concern?"
"IT'S PINK! WITH FRILLS!" Asuka screams incredulously, pointing her finger through her webcam. Her hat falls slightly askew.
Behind her Schrodinger mewls, licks his paw and curls back up in his cat bed. Shinji on the other hand looks as if the world is about to end.
I really want to hold him.
Uncle's expression doesn't change, but the light glinting off of his orange sunglasses seem to brighten a shade. "Hrm. I see. Perhaps you are worried that by presenting myself in effeminate clothing, it will cause the people of the world to form a less than respectful opinion about NERV? Asuka, please. You must believe more in the youth of this world. Now more than ever do people understand that tolerance is a faded concept and that Love is the true answer to hate and bigotry-"
"What? No! That's not the, I mean… it's YOU Commander Ikari! You can't, that apron, leader of NERV- scary bearded man!" She sputters and points in a manner that makes her previous declaration clearer.
"Ah. How foolish of me. You must be shocked that I, the frightening and coldly rigid supreme commander of NERV Japan am wearing a frilly pink apron?" He says with a soft smile as Shinji covers his face next to him in shame.
"YES!"
"It was a gift from my niece. It would be shameful of me to not wear it out of embarrassment despite her humorous intentions. Besides." Commander Ikari crosses his arms, tilts his head back, and brings up a hand to adjust his glasses with two dough covered fingers.
"Real men wear pink." Declaration made Commander Ikari dramatically turns around and exits my room, the front of his frilly pink apron swaying in the sudden breeze.
So cool.
"... Hi Asuka." My cousin sighs and says with an exasperated smile. "I've missed you."
Said girl's face goes through several shades of red from Shinji's declaration and sputters nonsensically before her stream disconnects.
"... ah? Did her internet go out?" Shinji asks me in confusion and I can only shrug in reply.
*Bzz! Bzz!*
Blinking and wondering who it could be I pick up my phone only to see a short message on my chat app. It reads...
"Idiot! Stupid! Dummy!" - Asuka SL
"Was it something I said?" My cousin wonders and I can only shrug in reply.
Asuka was always a little strange.
From the ocean, the sun stirs
Before My Body is Dry
konamikode
Cooking Harder
Memoir 2: Before My Body is Dry
-
I was not a good son. I was a rambunctious, conflict driven, and foolish boy who never bothered to try and understand the world around me. I must have caused her no end of heartache whenever I would return home with bloodied knuckles and bruises on my face. But she never complained, never attempted to punish me for my hot-headed behavior.
She was never one to indulge in hypocrisy. Matoi Ryuko was apparently quite the hellion as a young woman if the stories my soft spoken aunt told me are true.
The lemon doesn't fall far from the tree it seems.
I hate lemons. But I consume them regularly anyway. Beyond the obvious health benefits as I grow older, the bitter sweetness reminds of better times when I was yet a boy and ignorant of the evils of the world.
I suppose it is only fitting that my son and niece love them so.
They cherish her memory very much, as I do. It is tradition that we partake in slices of the sour fruit every morning with our meals to cleanse our palettes and remind ourselves of the departed family so dear to us.
…
I remember the day I began to see her in a different light so very clearly.
The first time I ever saw the woman who was Matoi Ryuko the freedom fighter instead of Rokubungi Ryuko, the blue collar single mother of two.
God rest your soul, my spirited brother. Sleep well knowing that the torch of your art is carried on through your son and grandchild.
Where was I? Yes, it was as I was returning home. Seventeen years of age with all of the rage and experience of a man of the world.
How foolish I was.
I was still able to bleed then. To be hurt by mortal means.
I had it all figured out. I was going to return home, tell my mother that I was dropping out of school and enlisting in the SDF to do what I did best. Fight.
I had it all figured out. I would tell her in no uncertain terms that the life of a small town young man going to college to invest in a better future was not the life I wanted. No, I would go out into the world and forge a place for me through blood, bullets, and fire.
How little I knew. The first thought that entered my mind after witnessing the firestorm that engulfed the home my brother and I grew up in was to ensure the safety of my hard working mother.
Despite how much I forced myself into believing that I hated her, she was the rock in my life.
Can any child who was raised by a loving parental figure not do as I did?
Of course I ran into the flames.
I needn't have done so.
There stood Rokubungi Ryuko as I had always seen her, but never acknowledged in my blindness. Strong, unyielding, and full of fire. The ancestral family blade clutched in her fist as she locked swords with a one-eyed woman dressed in pink frills and blood.
But my unwarranted presence cost her. The purple blade of the one-eyed assassin found weakness in my mother's momentary lapse of concentration and found itself buried within her guard and slid mere centimeters into her ribs.
This would the first time the blood of a human being would soak my hands.
My heart beat once, a scream of inarticulate rage ripping its way through my throat and burning fist. By the second time it beat the displaced air was already blasting away the corpse of my mother's would be murderer.
A third beat later I was already halfway to the local clinic with my protesting mother held within my arms.
After much ineffectual fussing from both me and my brother who had contemptuously slapped his master aside when he heard the news of the attack, mother admonished us with a familiar scolding before disappearing to parts unknown for a time.
I went to college as she wished and met Yui. My brother had a child in that time, an event for which Mother was present for.
She would appear once more when Shinji was born before disappearing yet again.
The day Yui died and the month after when Rei was born, Mother reappeared. This time she would stay.
It was a good time. Matoi Ryuko had retired from her former shadow work and had once again taken up the Rokubungi name for the sake of my children.
This happiness would not last, however.
Her wounds and experiences had taken a toll on her. Her mind was being lost piece by shining piece. Day by painful day.
In a moment of lucidity she grasped me by the collar and demanded to die a meaningful death.
…
I could not deny her wish.
How could I?
The strength of her heart eclipses mine even now. I can feel her desire to protect beat in time with my own.
Louder. Stronger.
My greatest sin is that I have never been strong enough to protect that which is precious to me.
I am sorry Mother.
That I must continue to rely on you so even now.
Memoirs of Gendo Ikari (April 27th, 2015)
-
"Hello Mother." I say, greeting the biomechanical monstrosity that houses the soul of the woman who raised me. Birthed me.
Loved me-
Don't be an idiot like your father Do-chan.
I wanted this.
Mother? Are you there?
Before me Unit 00 rumbles for but a moment in discontent.
Ma-chan? Do-chan? Where have you gone?
The bitterness of the lemon being crushed between my teeth grows as her lucidity fades away.
Shin-chan? Where… where is my grandson?
"Please be at ease Mother. He will be here soon, as will be Rei."
Rei… Rei! Where are you? We were going to make breakfast… to-together…
"... can you hear me Mother?"
-
Of CourSE I caN, mY, son.
I am here.
AlLwA-
Always.
-
I was not a good son. I was a rambunctious, conflict driven, and foolish boy who never bothered to try and understand the world around me. I must have caused her no end of heartache whenever I would return home with bloodied knuckles and bruises on my face. But she never complained, never attempted to punish me for my hot-headed behavior.
She was never one to indulge in hypocrisy. Matoi Ryuko was apparently quite the hellion as a young woman if the stories my soft spoken aunt told me are true.
The lemon doesn't fall far from the tree it seems.
I hate lemons. But I consume them regularly anyway. Beyond the obvious health benefits as I grow older, the bitter sweetness reminds of better times when I was yet a boy and ignorant of the evils of the world.
I suppose it is only fitting that my son and niece love them so.
They cherish her memory very much, as I do. It is tradition that we partake in slices of the sour fruit every morning with our meals to cleanse our palettes and remind ourselves of the departed family so dear to us.
…
I remember the day I began to see her in a different light so very clearly.
The first time I ever saw the woman who was Matoi Ryuko the freedom fighter instead of Rokubungi Ryuko, the blue collar single mother of two.
God rest your soul, my spirited brother. Sleep well knowing that the torch of your art is carried on through your son and grandchild.
Where was I? Yes, it was as I was returning home. Seventeen years of age with all of the rage and experience of a man of the world.
How foolish I was.
I was still able to bleed then. To be hurt by mortal means.
I had it all figured out. I was going to return home, tell my mother that I was dropping out of school and enlisting in the SDF to do what I did best. Fight.
I had it all figured out. I would tell her in no uncertain terms that the life of a small town young man going to college to invest in a better future was not the life I wanted. No, I would go out into the world and forge a place for me through blood, bullets, and fire.
How little I knew. The first thought that entered my mind after witnessing the firestorm that engulfed the home my brother and I grew up in was to ensure the safety of my hard working mother.
Despite how much I forced myself into believing that I hated her, she was the rock in my life.
Can any child who was raised by a loving parental figure not do as I did?
Of course I ran into the flames.
I needn't have done so.
There stood Rokubungi Ryuko as I had always seen her, but never acknowledged in my blindness. Strong, unyielding, and full of fire. The ancestral family blade clutched in her fist as she locked swords with a one-eyed woman dressed in pink frills and blood.
But my unwarranted presence cost her. The purple blade of the one-eyed assassin found weakness in my mother's momentary lapse of concentration and found itself buried within her guard and slid mere centimeters into her ribs.
This would the first time the blood of a human being would soak my hands.
My heart beat once, a scream of inarticulate rage ripping its way through my throat and burning fist. By the second time it beat the displaced air was already blasting away the corpse of my mother's would be murderer.
A third beat later I was already halfway to the local clinic with my protesting mother held within my arms.
After much ineffectual fussing from both me and my brother who had contemptuously slapped his master aside when he heard the news of the attack, mother admonished us with a familiar scolding before disappearing to parts unknown for a time.
I went to college as she wished and met Yui. My brother had a child in that time, an event for which Mother was present for.
She would appear once more when Shinji was born before disappearing yet again.
The day Yui died and the month after when Rei was born, Mother reappeared. This time she would stay.
It was a good time. Matoi Ryuko had retired from her former shadow work and had once again taken up the Rokubungi name for the sake of my children.
This happiness would not last, however.
Her wounds and experiences had taken a toll on her. Her mind was being lost piece by shining piece. Day by painful day.
In a moment of lucidity she grasped me by the collar and demanded to die a meaningful death.
…
I could not deny her wish.
How could I?
The strength of her heart eclipses mine even now. I can feel her desire to protect beat in time with my own.
Louder. Stronger.
My greatest sin is that I have never been strong enough to protect that which is precious to me.
I am sorry Mother.
That I must continue to rely on you so even now.
Memoirs of Gendo Ikari (April 27th, 2015)
-
"Hello Mother." I say, greeting the biomechanical monstrosity that houses the soul of the woman who raised me. Birthed me.
Loved me-
Don't be an idiot like your father Do-chan.
I wanted this.
Mother? Are you there?
Before me Unit 00 rumbles for but a moment in discontent.
Ma-chan? Do-chan? Where have you gone?
The bitterness of the lemon being crushed between my teeth grows as her lucidity fades away.
Shin-chan? Where… where is my grandson?
"Please be at ease Mother. He will be here soon, as will be Rei."
Rei… Rei! Where are you? We were going to make breakfast… to-together…
"... can you hear me Mother?"
-
Of CourSE I caN, mY, son.
I am here.
AlLwA-
Always.