The Old One have returned and the galaxy trembles before them. Fear them for they have come for the day of reckoning. All shall know of their name, all shall bow before... Kermit
A Frog's Blessing in this Wonderful Galaxy [WH40K Kermit Old One OC-Insert]
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Prologue
- Location
- A Tropical Island in the Pacific
Making a Splash!
It was a wonderful summer day. The sun was shining, the sky was almost clear with just a few large lazy clouds floating by, and the wind was blowing ever so gently; caressing his pasty white skin. Breathing in the scent of the ocean before him and feeling the coarse white sands beneath his feet, he finally felt the tension on his shoulders melt away as he soaked in and savored the scene.
It'd been ages since he had left his office job, locked away in some cubicle, working away typing reports for something or other. He had long since forgotten what they even made at this point as the words and numbers melted into one unintelligible blob. It was just him, the computer, and his coworkers suffering equally with him. The pay was good, yes, but it was soul draining. It was dull, painfully boring, and made him wish he hadn't landed it in the first place. It was simply too cushy of a job to leave, but he often wished that something exciting would happen in his life.
As he stood there, surrounded by all the vibrant colors and the sound of people's laughter while they enjoyed the summer days, he knew that cashing in on his long overdue vacation was the right choice. He had almost forgotten the heat of the sun against his skin, the bright blue color of the sea and the wonderful salty scent of the ocean breeze but as he stood there, he felt his spirits soar.
"Today is going to be a good day," He told himself as he took a step only to pause as he felt his phone buzz. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the brick like phone inside its waterproof case and saw his email notification. It was his boss asking him if he was not busy.
He was about to open it and type out a reply only to pause as he realized what he was about to do. Taking in a deep breath before letting it out slowly, hesitation but ultimately closing his phone and turning it off for good measure.
"Harley and Quinn Incorporated can wait," He told himself as stared at the waters ahead, the waves smaller in this spot than across the other stretch of the beach. He could feel it calling out to him, asking him to take a dip in the crystal clear waters. How could he say no to such an invitation as he felt a smile stretch across his face, "Now, I relax!"
With a burst of speed, he sprinted forward, pushing his gangly frame ahead as he dove into the water ahead. He slipped beneath the waves, feeling a rush of adrenaline in his veins as his body slowly remembered how to swim. With a whoop of joy, he broke out of the water's surface and swam, shaking his head to get the water out of his eyes and hair.
Giddy with excitement, he swam to his heart's content, enjoying this new found freedom he gained. This was what he was missing for all these years, something to shake up the routine that had come to dominate his life. For the first time in what felt like forever, he felt happy and he wouldn't trade the world for it.
He darted through the warm tropical waters even as he felt his lungs burn and his limbs ache. He headed straight for the deeper seas, heading towards the coral reefs in the farthest parts of the bay. He simply could not help himself now that he had been reunited with the sea, though he might have been a bit too enthusiastic about it.
In his haste to get back to the water, he had forgotten the one rule that swimmers, or anyone actively exercising, should abide by; limber up or face the consequence. He would soon curse himself as he felt his muscle twist with pain spreading up to his thighs and ass, "Oh fuck,"
His rotten luck had him cramping up just after he dove down deep and now, he was one leg short to paddle up. Desperately he tried to get up, wincing as he moved his legs while pushing with his arm but he could not rise fast enough. What's worse was that he noticed he hadn't moved at all with the light dimming even as he swam harder and pushed his body to the limit.
Still, it would not be enough as he realized he was getting dragged into the watery depths. As he looked down, he saw just why. The sandy grooved path that stretched all the way down to abrupt change in depth, the water churning as he got ever deeper, the abyss staring back at him as it reeled him ever deeper.
"Riptide," He thought out and that singular thought made his heart seize in fear. He had been caught in the grasp of the terrible current which could overpower even the most seasoned of swimmers. Panicking, he tried to fight it off, swimming harder despite the pain of his cramped up limbs, but it had been ages since he actually last swam.
The currents pull was inescapable, the water rushing around him as his feet slipped against the sandy bottom and hung over the void. He felt his last hopes slip by his toes as he was suddenly pulled down, dragged into the depths of the sea. So fast did he sink that he felt his chest caving in, forcing out what little air was left out. He let out a scream as he was tossed about in the currents, the darkness all encompassing as his consciousness started to fade.
The weight upon his body was immense, ever mounting as he descended deeper with the light of the sun rapidly fading away into the inky abyss. Water filled his lungs as he let out a strangled gasp, his lungs seeking out precious air when there was none. He could feel his body stretching and bending, his head feeling like it was about to explode until, suddenly, he found release.
Breaking through the water, he coughed, the water forced out of his lungs as he started falling instead, his voice echoing in the portal he found himself in. He screamed, his eyes beholding terrors he could not describe as he slipped through space between space, his body forced into ever more eldritch shapes, warped and broken in so many countless ways that he wished to go back to the cold embrace of the ocean instead, just so he could escape this madness.
It almost felt like an eternity and a second at the same time, his mind stretched and squeezed, contradictions becoming facts as reality broke down before he passed through and out into a starry void, where he came face to face with a gaping, swirling maw of darkness: a black hole. He screamed and screamed, shielding his eyes as he approached the darkness only for it to never come.
He paused, his heart hammering away inside his chest while blood rushed through his ears, as he tried to assess his situation. Slowly, he took a peek only for the spinning sphere of perfect darkness to remain.
He felt his heart leap up to his throat as he flinched but, as the seconds passed by, he had to open his eyes. Forcing them open, he'd realized that he stopped falling and hovered over the sphere. Only now did notice how close it was, so close that he could touch it, and so small that it would be more akin to a large old fashioned globe one would find in some library, nothing like the stellar behemoths he'd watched from some documentaries about on his phone.
"H-how… am I floating?" He called out as he stretched out and noticed that he floated above this globe like he was free falling. Slowly he flailed his green limbs about, trying to swim away or just get anywhere not close to the hole of death only to touch its smooth surface. He screamed once more as he felt it stick to his hands, and he feared for the worst, but it felt more like his limbs were attached to magnets, powerful ones, but nothing so crazy as for something to tear him apart and spaghettify him in the process.
"Huh… not so black holely of you," He called out to the thing that he found… fuzzy. It was hard to describe and equally weird how he could pull himself up and stand on its surface; and that wasn't even touching on the matter of his green appendages.
As he stood there atop that globe, he looked down at himself and found his body and limbs transformed. Gone were the stick thin limbs he once had, replaced by even thinner limbs that felt more like twigs than anything. His body had also taken a far more simpler form with almost no definition. It was concerning, feeling himself, his hands? Paws? Gliding over smooth and slimy skin. He felt… froggy.
For a brief second he felt dread as he reached down, feeling himself up before he let out a sigh of relief. It was there but it was… inside a slit? It felt like how a tongue would be hidden inside one's mouth. He chose not to dwell on it any further, as he had far more pressing matters at hand, where the hell was he even at?
Sitting down on the black void and running his hand over its surprisingly pleasant surface, he pondered deeply. Looking out to the starry night that surrounded him, it was a far cry from the sunny beaches of the tropics. It was cold, but not too cold, and it was surprisingly well lit with a huge golden star the size of his new thumb glowing in the distance.
The smaller stars themselves almost looked like they were fireflies in a dark summer night's sky. In fact, maybe he could reach out and grab one. It was a silly thought, but he had nothing better to do as he did not know if he could get out of… wherever he was.
He was, at least, certainly safe enough if he just ignored that he may or may not have been stranded in some place where there was no food or water. It could be worse, however, like how he could have just drowned there and then. If not for that little event where he was dragged across time and space, maybe he wouldn't be around still. "I just wished I still had my pants on," He said out loud, but none would answer him back. He was now all alone, with just his thoughts as company.
With a sigh, he laid down flat on the sphere he'd landed on. It was a safe little spot, yes but it was as barren as they could get. Don't get him wrong, the view was amazing. It was as if he was floating in space atop a black hole, but that's about it. He just had his view and the stars behind him. Looking up, his thoughts wandered to those lights above once more. They were so close… maybe, just maybe he could reach them? He had nothing better to do, at any rate.
Getting up; he reached out, standing on the tips of his toes as he tried to grab a light in the dark. "Just a bit more," He groaned out as he reached out to the stars above. For a moment, they danced around his hands, flitting through his fingers until he finally caught one. It was weak and feeble, and yet it was utterly brilliant to look upon; like a gem that he could not quite touch yet was able to hold.
As he pulled it down and held it in his palm, he could feel a certain warmth in it. Dancing inside his hands, It was as if they were alive. With how crazy things had been, he wouldn't be surprised if they were. Still, he had his little fun. How it was time for him to free them.
"Go on little guy, sorry to bother you," He whispered to the object as he let it go only to find the star flying back to him, orbiting his hands lazily. It was fascinating to look at, his heart calming down as a sense of joy filled him. "Well, if you insist… though you're a little bit lonely so let me fix that!" he whispered as he looked back up to the sky.
Momentarily forgetting about his situation, he let out a giggle as he ran about his globe, grabbing and collecting as many of these stars as he could. So many did he gather that he started to glow, this vast constellation he made circling around his form and even attracting some of the far off stars he could not quite reach.
They came in a dizzying array of colors, each one unique on its own. Some were brighter, war gem like stars, while some were dimmer, like the green ones which were more like specks of dust yet they came in the thousands. Unfortunately, he was getting some weird specks as well, more like gnats and mosquitoes with this horrid sound they made. They were even trying to latch on to some of this collection.
"Get away!" he shooed them away, swatting them away, getting a satisfying tiny scream as he fought off the bigger one. "Go on! Git!" he laughed out, watching those lights scramble back into the void. There were still those that attached themselves to his ever growing collection, but a simple blow, some polishing, and rubbing against his chest had them all cleaned up, shining even.
"There, all cleaned up," He whispered as he let the star go, watching it zoom around like an energetic little comet before it returned back to its previous state. They easily tuckered out from the looks of it.
As he sat back down, satisfied that the annoying lights wouldn't come back, his attention would be called upon by the brightest red star he saw approaching him. "Oh hello," He called out as he reached out and grabbed a red gem out from the void and held it close to his chest. Unlike all the other stars, it felt like it was a shard instead of a whole, a sliver of its true self, yet it was bright enough to rival the bigger white dots that orbit him. "What happened to you?" He whispered, inspecting the little piece.
The gem sputtered, gasping like it was out of breath, before it looked up and let out the tiniest shriek of terror. "Hey! Hey! I'm not going to hurt you little one," He assured the small dot, "Awfully animated, aren't you, huh?" He noted as it tried to fly out of his grasp but all it was able to do was get off his palm for a few inches before landing back down.
"Well you're not going anywhere with that gas tank," He told the speck that kept on squeaking and bouncing about his palm and refusing to stay still. Eventually, however, it would tire out; slumping atop his palm in the most adorable of ways. "Easy there, why the rush?" He asked as he picked it up and set it atop his shoulder.
"Here, let me set you there so you can rest ok?" He told the shard who squeaked out once again. Now that it sat so close to him, he could actually feel its tone; it was tired and afraid? "Why are you afraid little one? There's nothing here but you, me, and the stars above," He asked as he motioned at the sky above which was filled with so many red stars.
Reaching out for these stars, he paused as he felt something slimy and cold. Groping about, he felt the starry sky above him shift, his palm feeling countless tendrils moving beneath it as the red dots moved and stared at him. "These aren't stars," He whispered, pulling back as the starry sky rumbled, the sound echoing in his chest as the angry buzzing echoed above and around him.
He froze, slowly backing away as the colors of the sky shifted to an iridescent kaleidoscope yet those terrible red eyes remained, revealing the shapes hidden from his view. Those countless tiny dots glared down at him, their maws salivating as they came in their multitude. This shapeless hoard made his nonexistent hair stand up as they stared off at each other, neither daring to make a move.
"ROAR!" the shapeless mass screeched out, and all of them screamed.
"Those are not stars!" He screamed, the red one screamed, and his constellations screamed as the creatures from the void lunged at them.
Grabbing his tiny companions, he leaped to the side. His heart leaping up to his throat as felt them graze his feet just before they crashed into the dark surface of his fuzzy island. He watched in horror as they started to scream, bits and pieces were torn off from the greater whole. He could see those caught in his seat clinging to the others, dragging the beast down even as it crawled towards him, not even bothered as great chunks were torn from it, for they were countless.
Not waiting for the swarm to recover and free themselves, he bolted off; running where his tiny little feet could take him. He ran across to the other end of the globe before leaping off into the void, trusting his chances there more than with duking it out with them.
He screamed as he soared across the starry sky, desperately holding onto his tiny companions, before he crashed into a soft, ground like surface. He let out a grunt as it knocked the air out of him while he laid there in the shifting "ground". Staring down, he found a cracked surface that buckled and shone under his weight, swirling and churning in an array of mesmerizing colors as it spiraled into this tiny hole at the center that was simply too big for him to fit through.
The mass shrieked out, which had him leaping in surprise. With his heart racing, he turned to find the creatures swimming through the vast distance he had left.
Turning back, he jumped up and down, screaming out in panic as the creature darted straight at him, "Come on! Let me in! Let me in-!" before the hole suddenly gave way beneath him, stretching out as he fell through.
He let out a cry of terror as he fell once more, his form plunging from the starry sky to another realm, a strange new place where nothing made sense. Tumbling across the air, he reached out for his stars, pulling them into his chest to protect them before he crashed hard down on a crystalline sand castle before rolling off into a small hedge maze.
"Mother fucker!" he screamed out, feeling the shards stung him before he stared down and found the same lights that he had swatted away, the blue screeching ones staring back at him. With a battle cry, they leapt at him and his stars, forcing him back up as he batted away at them while making a run for it, barreling straight to the maze's glass like walls, shielding his eyes as shards went flying everywhere.
"Fucking damn it all!" He cursed his rotten luck as a dog-sized calamari forced its way out of the pile that was once a castle before it let out a scream of anger.
"Sorry! I'll pay you later! Watch out for the swarm though!" he called out, warning the creature who paused before turning to where he slipped out of, the same hole which the creatures from the void were trying to force their way in.
The swarm called out and he watched the tiny calamari turn and let out a shriek of anger. As much as he wanted to help the guy, he did not want to be violated by the tentacles of the monsters after him.
He shrieked as he felt the ground beneath him rumble, making him trip and spilling his tiny stars down on the ground. Looking behind, he could see a great many lights streaking through the psychedelic landscape as the brave calamari battled the beast, latching onto it and blasting away. Taking advantage of the momentary distraction, he gathered his babies, frantically gathering as many as he could. He could have dropped them at any time, but he could not live with himself letting these precious beings fall prey to the monstrosities.
As he gathered the last few pieces, wiping them clean off the parasites that clung to them, he felt something nudging him, squeaking at him to get his attention. "A little busy here, Red! Maybe a bit later!" He replied as he pulled the last pieces of the ever shifting ground.
He then heard an annoyed shriek from the tiny guy as they slammed to his cheeks and forced him to look behind and he felt his stomach drop at the sight. "Ohhh...," he whispered as he saw the squid clamber atop the writhing mass, wrangling the creature with some form of lasso. The brave calamari had won and claimed its mount.
As their eyes met, he saw utter hatred in those beady eyes. Raising his hands appeasingly as he slowly backed away, he called out, "Now there little buddy, let's think for a second here. No need to be angry about your castle and your maze."
"I'll fix it! See!" He said appeasingly as he grabbed a shattered piece and shakily stuck it to the broken wall. Jamming it in, he smiled nervously as pointed at his shoddy work, "There, one break at a time," but his hopes would come crashing down as he heard glass cracking around him.
Turning to the sound, he saw the piece he had stuck back into place creating a spider web of cracks spread to the crystalline walls. "Shit fuck, nooo!" He shrieked out as he tried to hold the walls, hoping it wouldn't crack any further but it was far too late. As he squeezed down, the whole maze, every last inch of the twisting walls and alleys shattered and came crashing down.
He cringed as the squid's shoulder sagged as it looked around. Guilt bubbles up his chest but he did not like how the squid's color rapidly shifted from going pale white to beet red. Chuckling nervously, he told the poor creature? "I'm sure you can make a new one… right?"
The squid let out an inarticulate shriek of rage before it lashed out, pointing a tentacle at him as a bolt of light lanced out at him. He barely had any time to react as he turned around, shielding his little stars, before the light struck his side. He let out a laugh as he squirmed under the strike which was soon followed by more.
He laughed out loud as the squid kept striking him, seemingly intent on tickling him to death. "Shtap! I'm going to pee!" He giggled out, covering his sides as the squid looked at him before staring back at its tentacles. It struck him again and again, making his sides hurt as laughed. He was tearing up as he was brought to his knees.
Finally it stopped, letting him take lungs full of air as he laid on the ground. "Oh thank fuck," He panted out in relief. He was finally released from his torment but the creature was not satisfied as it let out a shriek. His laughter would turn to a cry of horror as the calamari snapped its lead and had its new mount barreling straight at him.
Scrambling to his feet, he tried to dodge, but all it did was line him up for the creature's charge. He let out a cry of discomfort as the creature slammed into him, launching him into the distance. His screams trailed across the crystalline environment before slamming straight into a hard surface.
He cursed as he felt the barrier break before he found himself tumbling onto a fiery hell. Tumbling on the ground, he groaned as he came to a stop. Thankfully, his little lights kept on him throughout all the craziness that had happened. "Oh fuck, please tell me it's over," He moaned out to Red as it floated above him, pushing at him to move.
He would soon be answered as he heard the cries of tiny little lights marching across the blasted landscape. Getting up again, he shouted as he stomped on the light, "Shit! Fuck! Why does it have to be fire ants!" Despite the many stains he made across the floor, they would keep on coming, climbing up to his legs and stinging him repeatedly.
Shaking them off desperately, he could barely react when a large brass tin man came barreling at him, knocking him off his feet and sending him flying once more into the wall. This time, he would burst into a little play castle where he'd find a little elven girl with concerningly sparse clothes playing with lights as if they were toys.
His landing was softened by the many cushions in the castle, he would sigh out in relief. The blow had knocked off the ants. As much of a relief it was to be somewhere normal, the girl did not take too kindly to his presence. With a shriek, she launched herself at him and slapped him with her tiny little paws. While a bit roughed up, he wasn't so defenseless as to let her slap him. Forcing himself to stand up, he held out a hand to block her.
"Ow! No! Bad girl!" he scolded her as he deflected her strikes, looking at her sternly while standing his ground. This only seemed to infuriate her even more as she got a whole lot more pink than she was already. With a sigh, he sidestepped her before grabbing her the scruff of her collar, holding her up as she failed around, babbling in her incomprehensible language.
"Who taught you to hit people, jeez. Where are your parents anyways? I kinda need help," He asked her but all he got was the scowl of a furious little girl. He leaned away, cringing as she blew a wet raspberry at him. "And has anyone told you how rude you are?"
Looking around frantically with the girl and lights in hand, he wandered around and found that this lone singular room and its listless light was all this castle had. All the rest of the rooms were tiny little glove boxes to store toys it seems.
As he searched for a way out, and a place to set this girl down, Red would unexpectedly fly through the hole he made. "Oh, thank goodness you're ok!" He sighed out before letting out a cry of surprise as the girl made a lunge for Red.
"No! Bad! Bad!" He shouted as he set her down. Thankfully, she just stood there, crossing her arms with a look demanding for an explanation, "You don't just eat something like that! What if Red was poisonous or tasted bad!" Red would cry out in protest.
The girl flinched, cowering from him as her eyes water. He cringed as he heard her whimper and sniffle, his heart breaking at the sight. With a sigh, he reached out and stroked her hair, trying to calm the little girl down, "There there, I didn't mean to shout. I didn't want you to eat my friend, that's all," He explained.
Looking up at him hesitantly, the girl shied away from him but a smile had her latching on to him. "You seem all alone. Let's go find your parents ok?" He told her before he seized up as he heard the roar of the tin man, the calamari and the creature from the void echoing from the hole. "Ah crap,"
Pulling at the girl who stubbornly refused to let go, he told frantically, "Umm, kid, you can let go now! We'll walk faster if you're not hugging me!" He tried to pull away but the stubborn kid clung on, digging her heels on the ground, "Kid? I'd really appreciate it if you let go!" He told him but the mischievous smile that stretched across his face sent alarm bells ringing in his mind.
Without so much as a warning, the girl punched him right between the legs which had him seeing stars, "Right in the Gonads!" He squealed out as he bent over, just in time for the angry trio to barrel right at him.
For the third time, he went flying, crashing through the walls once again. Bursting through the new scenery, he beheld a great slug and a caged up fairy before he crashed right into the cage (and getting partially stuck in it), before slamming right into the slug. With his head stuck inside the cage with the, now rather roughed up fairy, he dashed the head of the creature, before landing roughly on the ground of the swamp.
As he laid there, clutching his lights against his chest, he pondered if he should just stay there. The place smelled horrid, like one of those truck stop toilets. The smells got even more horrible as the slug he slammed into started leaking some foul liquid while it laid there, twitching. The only saving grace from it all was just how comfortable the ground was.
Beat up and defeated, he was about to throw in the towel and give up when he saw a tiny clown-like creature beckoning him over. He looked at it in confusion, wondering what it wanted when it spoke up, "Here!"
Feeling some strength return to him, he crawled forward, dragging himself to the creature. "Oh thank god, someone who I can talk to!" He called out, nearly crying in relief as the clown nodded. "You have to help me! There's three insane midgets and a rabid dog chasing after me," He begged him, clutching the creature's legs.
Laughing at him, the creature would reach into its pocket before throwing sand at his eyes. "Fuck!" He cursed out, closing his eyes, feeling his whole body lurch while he tried to get the sand off his eyes, a fact made all the harder with the fairy's cage stuck to his head. As he got the stinging dust off his eyes and opened his eyes, he found himself in a whole new place; a tunnel just big enough to fit several of himself comfortably.
He looked around with bleary eyes, straining his ears for the stupid clown or the creatures chasing after him, but he found nought but peace. Slumping down, the chase was finally over. He must have looked so pitiful there that the fairy inside the cage stumbled over to him and gave him a pat on the head, "Thank you," She whispered kindly.
Finally away from danger, he felt some of the adrenaline fading away as the land of sleep called to him. Yawning, he told the fairy, "I'll free you later… let me just sleep," With those words, he felt his eyes shut close and he slipped into a deep slumber. He'd had enough excitement for the day, he was going to let future him handle this.
A/N:
Look at him go, creating quite the splash the first time he touched down the Galaxy. Heh, the four right now are definitely not happy. Tzeentch's realm is just obliterated, Khorne's armies smushed, Slaanesh has all her toys destroyed and well... let's just say Nurgle is going to wake up with a killer headache. Thankfully, our little friend got himself some slack by finding the realm of his people. Hopefully, things won't get as wild for him so soon after this~
Anyways, I'd like to thank @vyor making this possible. Praise be Vyor for he keeps most of my idea sane. Now if you want to support or want to read some fic chapters in advance, consider dropping by either Patreon or Ko-Fi. Without Old Man and the rest of my patreons, I wouldn't have been able to write this. Old Man, I hope you like you commission cause I'm posting them now!
It was a wonderful summer day. The sun was shining, the sky was almost clear with just a few large lazy clouds floating by, and the wind was blowing ever so gently; caressing his pasty white skin. Breathing in the scent of the ocean before him and feeling the coarse white sands beneath his feet, he finally felt the tension on his shoulders melt away as he soaked in and savored the scene.
It'd been ages since he had left his office job, locked away in some cubicle, working away typing reports for something or other. He had long since forgotten what they even made at this point as the words and numbers melted into one unintelligible blob. It was just him, the computer, and his coworkers suffering equally with him. The pay was good, yes, but it was soul draining. It was dull, painfully boring, and made him wish he hadn't landed it in the first place. It was simply too cushy of a job to leave, but he often wished that something exciting would happen in his life.
As he stood there, surrounded by all the vibrant colors and the sound of people's laughter while they enjoyed the summer days, he knew that cashing in on his long overdue vacation was the right choice. He had almost forgotten the heat of the sun against his skin, the bright blue color of the sea and the wonderful salty scent of the ocean breeze but as he stood there, he felt his spirits soar.
"Today is going to be a good day," He told himself as he took a step only to pause as he felt his phone buzz. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the brick like phone inside its waterproof case and saw his email notification. It was his boss asking him if he was not busy.
He was about to open it and type out a reply only to pause as he realized what he was about to do. Taking in a deep breath before letting it out slowly, hesitation but ultimately closing his phone and turning it off for good measure.
"Harley and Quinn Incorporated can wait," He told himself as stared at the waters ahead, the waves smaller in this spot than across the other stretch of the beach. He could feel it calling out to him, asking him to take a dip in the crystal clear waters. How could he say no to such an invitation as he felt a smile stretch across his face, "Now, I relax!"
With a burst of speed, he sprinted forward, pushing his gangly frame ahead as he dove into the water ahead. He slipped beneath the waves, feeling a rush of adrenaline in his veins as his body slowly remembered how to swim. With a whoop of joy, he broke out of the water's surface and swam, shaking his head to get the water out of his eyes and hair.
Giddy with excitement, he swam to his heart's content, enjoying this new found freedom he gained. This was what he was missing for all these years, something to shake up the routine that had come to dominate his life. For the first time in what felt like forever, he felt happy and he wouldn't trade the world for it.
He darted through the warm tropical waters even as he felt his lungs burn and his limbs ache. He headed straight for the deeper seas, heading towards the coral reefs in the farthest parts of the bay. He simply could not help himself now that he had been reunited with the sea, though he might have been a bit too enthusiastic about it.
In his haste to get back to the water, he had forgotten the one rule that swimmers, or anyone actively exercising, should abide by; limber up or face the consequence. He would soon curse himself as he felt his muscle twist with pain spreading up to his thighs and ass, "Oh fuck,"
His rotten luck had him cramping up just after he dove down deep and now, he was one leg short to paddle up. Desperately he tried to get up, wincing as he moved his legs while pushing with his arm but he could not rise fast enough. What's worse was that he noticed he hadn't moved at all with the light dimming even as he swam harder and pushed his body to the limit.
Still, it would not be enough as he realized he was getting dragged into the watery depths. As he looked down, he saw just why. The sandy grooved path that stretched all the way down to abrupt change in depth, the water churning as he got ever deeper, the abyss staring back at him as it reeled him ever deeper.
"Riptide," He thought out and that singular thought made his heart seize in fear. He had been caught in the grasp of the terrible current which could overpower even the most seasoned of swimmers. Panicking, he tried to fight it off, swimming harder despite the pain of his cramped up limbs, but it had been ages since he actually last swam.
The currents pull was inescapable, the water rushing around him as his feet slipped against the sandy bottom and hung over the void. He felt his last hopes slip by his toes as he was suddenly pulled down, dragged into the depths of the sea. So fast did he sink that he felt his chest caving in, forcing out what little air was left out. He let out a scream as he was tossed about in the currents, the darkness all encompassing as his consciousness started to fade.
The weight upon his body was immense, ever mounting as he descended deeper with the light of the sun rapidly fading away into the inky abyss. Water filled his lungs as he let out a strangled gasp, his lungs seeking out precious air when there was none. He could feel his body stretching and bending, his head feeling like it was about to explode until, suddenly, he found release.
Breaking through the water, he coughed, the water forced out of his lungs as he started falling instead, his voice echoing in the portal he found himself in. He screamed, his eyes beholding terrors he could not describe as he slipped through space between space, his body forced into ever more eldritch shapes, warped and broken in so many countless ways that he wished to go back to the cold embrace of the ocean instead, just so he could escape this madness.
It almost felt like an eternity and a second at the same time, his mind stretched and squeezed, contradictions becoming facts as reality broke down before he passed through and out into a starry void, where he came face to face with a gaping, swirling maw of darkness: a black hole. He screamed and screamed, shielding his eyes as he approached the darkness only for it to never come.
He paused, his heart hammering away inside his chest while blood rushed through his ears, as he tried to assess his situation. Slowly, he took a peek only for the spinning sphere of perfect darkness to remain.
He felt his heart leap up to his throat as he flinched but, as the seconds passed by, he had to open his eyes. Forcing them open, he'd realized that he stopped falling and hovered over the sphere. Only now did notice how close it was, so close that he could touch it, and so small that it would be more akin to a large old fashioned globe one would find in some library, nothing like the stellar behemoths he'd watched from some documentaries about on his phone.
"H-how… am I floating?" He called out as he stretched out and noticed that he floated above this globe like he was free falling. Slowly he flailed his green limbs about, trying to swim away or just get anywhere not close to the hole of death only to touch its smooth surface. He screamed once more as he felt it stick to his hands, and he feared for the worst, but it felt more like his limbs were attached to magnets, powerful ones, but nothing so crazy as for something to tear him apart and spaghettify him in the process.
"Huh… not so black holely of you," He called out to the thing that he found… fuzzy. It was hard to describe and equally weird how he could pull himself up and stand on its surface; and that wasn't even touching on the matter of his green appendages.
As he stood there atop that globe, he looked down at himself and found his body and limbs transformed. Gone were the stick thin limbs he once had, replaced by even thinner limbs that felt more like twigs than anything. His body had also taken a far more simpler form with almost no definition. It was concerning, feeling himself, his hands? Paws? Gliding over smooth and slimy skin. He felt… froggy.
For a brief second he felt dread as he reached down, feeling himself up before he let out a sigh of relief. It was there but it was… inside a slit? It felt like how a tongue would be hidden inside one's mouth. He chose not to dwell on it any further, as he had far more pressing matters at hand, where the hell was he even at?
Sitting down on the black void and running his hand over its surprisingly pleasant surface, he pondered deeply. Looking out to the starry night that surrounded him, it was a far cry from the sunny beaches of the tropics. It was cold, but not too cold, and it was surprisingly well lit with a huge golden star the size of his new thumb glowing in the distance.
The smaller stars themselves almost looked like they were fireflies in a dark summer night's sky. In fact, maybe he could reach out and grab one. It was a silly thought, but he had nothing better to do as he did not know if he could get out of… wherever he was.
He was, at least, certainly safe enough if he just ignored that he may or may not have been stranded in some place where there was no food or water. It could be worse, however, like how he could have just drowned there and then. If not for that little event where he was dragged across time and space, maybe he wouldn't be around still. "I just wished I still had my pants on," He said out loud, but none would answer him back. He was now all alone, with just his thoughts as company.
With a sigh, he laid down flat on the sphere he'd landed on. It was a safe little spot, yes but it was as barren as they could get. Don't get him wrong, the view was amazing. It was as if he was floating in space atop a black hole, but that's about it. He just had his view and the stars behind him. Looking up, his thoughts wandered to those lights above once more. They were so close… maybe, just maybe he could reach them? He had nothing better to do, at any rate.
Getting up; he reached out, standing on the tips of his toes as he tried to grab a light in the dark. "Just a bit more," He groaned out as he reached out to the stars above. For a moment, they danced around his hands, flitting through his fingers until he finally caught one. It was weak and feeble, and yet it was utterly brilliant to look upon; like a gem that he could not quite touch yet was able to hold.
As he pulled it down and held it in his palm, he could feel a certain warmth in it. Dancing inside his hands, It was as if they were alive. With how crazy things had been, he wouldn't be surprised if they were. Still, he had his little fun. How it was time for him to free them.
"Go on little guy, sorry to bother you," He whispered to the object as he let it go only to find the star flying back to him, orbiting his hands lazily. It was fascinating to look at, his heart calming down as a sense of joy filled him. "Well, if you insist… though you're a little bit lonely so let me fix that!" he whispered as he looked back up to the sky.
Momentarily forgetting about his situation, he let out a giggle as he ran about his globe, grabbing and collecting as many of these stars as he could. So many did he gather that he started to glow, this vast constellation he made circling around his form and even attracting some of the far off stars he could not quite reach.
They came in a dizzying array of colors, each one unique on its own. Some were brighter, war gem like stars, while some were dimmer, like the green ones which were more like specks of dust yet they came in the thousands. Unfortunately, he was getting some weird specks as well, more like gnats and mosquitoes with this horrid sound they made. They were even trying to latch on to some of this collection.
"Get away!" he shooed them away, swatting them away, getting a satisfying tiny scream as he fought off the bigger one. "Go on! Git!" he laughed out, watching those lights scramble back into the void. There were still those that attached themselves to his ever growing collection, but a simple blow, some polishing, and rubbing against his chest had them all cleaned up, shining even.
"There, all cleaned up," He whispered as he let the star go, watching it zoom around like an energetic little comet before it returned back to its previous state. They easily tuckered out from the looks of it.
As he sat back down, satisfied that the annoying lights wouldn't come back, his attention would be called upon by the brightest red star he saw approaching him. "Oh hello," He called out as he reached out and grabbed a red gem out from the void and held it close to his chest. Unlike all the other stars, it felt like it was a shard instead of a whole, a sliver of its true self, yet it was bright enough to rival the bigger white dots that orbit him. "What happened to you?" He whispered, inspecting the little piece.
The gem sputtered, gasping like it was out of breath, before it looked up and let out the tiniest shriek of terror. "Hey! Hey! I'm not going to hurt you little one," He assured the small dot, "Awfully animated, aren't you, huh?" He noted as it tried to fly out of his grasp but all it was able to do was get off his palm for a few inches before landing back down.
"Well you're not going anywhere with that gas tank," He told the speck that kept on squeaking and bouncing about his palm and refusing to stay still. Eventually, however, it would tire out; slumping atop his palm in the most adorable of ways. "Easy there, why the rush?" He asked as he picked it up and set it atop his shoulder.
"Here, let me set you there so you can rest ok?" He told the shard who squeaked out once again. Now that it sat so close to him, he could actually feel its tone; it was tired and afraid? "Why are you afraid little one? There's nothing here but you, me, and the stars above," He asked as he motioned at the sky above which was filled with so many red stars.
Reaching out for these stars, he paused as he felt something slimy and cold. Groping about, he felt the starry sky above him shift, his palm feeling countless tendrils moving beneath it as the red dots moved and stared at him. "These aren't stars," He whispered, pulling back as the starry sky rumbled, the sound echoing in his chest as the angry buzzing echoed above and around him.
He froze, slowly backing away as the colors of the sky shifted to an iridescent kaleidoscope yet those terrible red eyes remained, revealing the shapes hidden from his view. Those countless tiny dots glared down at him, their maws salivating as they came in their multitude. This shapeless hoard made his nonexistent hair stand up as they stared off at each other, neither daring to make a move.
"ROAR!" the shapeless mass screeched out, and all of them screamed.
"Those are not stars!" He screamed, the red one screamed, and his constellations screamed as the creatures from the void lunged at them.
Grabbing his tiny companions, he leaped to the side. His heart leaping up to his throat as felt them graze his feet just before they crashed into the dark surface of his fuzzy island. He watched in horror as they started to scream, bits and pieces were torn off from the greater whole. He could see those caught in his seat clinging to the others, dragging the beast down even as it crawled towards him, not even bothered as great chunks were torn from it, for they were countless.
Not waiting for the swarm to recover and free themselves, he bolted off; running where his tiny little feet could take him. He ran across to the other end of the globe before leaping off into the void, trusting his chances there more than with duking it out with them.
He screamed as he soared across the starry sky, desperately holding onto his tiny companions, before he crashed into a soft, ground like surface. He let out a grunt as it knocked the air out of him while he laid there in the shifting "ground". Staring down, he found a cracked surface that buckled and shone under his weight, swirling and churning in an array of mesmerizing colors as it spiraled into this tiny hole at the center that was simply too big for him to fit through.
The mass shrieked out, which had him leaping in surprise. With his heart racing, he turned to find the creatures swimming through the vast distance he had left.
Turning back, he jumped up and down, screaming out in panic as the creature darted straight at him, "Come on! Let me in! Let me in-!" before the hole suddenly gave way beneath him, stretching out as he fell through.
He let out a cry of terror as he fell once more, his form plunging from the starry sky to another realm, a strange new place where nothing made sense. Tumbling across the air, he reached out for his stars, pulling them into his chest to protect them before he crashed hard down on a crystalline sand castle before rolling off into a small hedge maze.
"Mother fucker!" he screamed out, feeling the shards stung him before he stared down and found the same lights that he had swatted away, the blue screeching ones staring back at him. With a battle cry, they leapt at him and his stars, forcing him back up as he batted away at them while making a run for it, barreling straight to the maze's glass like walls, shielding his eyes as shards went flying everywhere.
"Fucking damn it all!" He cursed his rotten luck as a dog-sized calamari forced its way out of the pile that was once a castle before it let out a scream of anger.
"Sorry! I'll pay you later! Watch out for the swarm though!" he called out, warning the creature who paused before turning to where he slipped out of, the same hole which the creatures from the void were trying to force their way in.
The swarm called out and he watched the tiny calamari turn and let out a shriek of anger. As much as he wanted to help the guy, he did not want to be violated by the tentacles of the monsters after him.
He shrieked as he felt the ground beneath him rumble, making him trip and spilling his tiny stars down on the ground. Looking behind, he could see a great many lights streaking through the psychedelic landscape as the brave calamari battled the beast, latching onto it and blasting away. Taking advantage of the momentary distraction, he gathered his babies, frantically gathering as many as he could. He could have dropped them at any time, but he could not live with himself letting these precious beings fall prey to the monstrosities.
As he gathered the last few pieces, wiping them clean off the parasites that clung to them, he felt something nudging him, squeaking at him to get his attention. "A little busy here, Red! Maybe a bit later!" He replied as he pulled the last pieces of the ever shifting ground.
He then heard an annoyed shriek from the tiny guy as they slammed to his cheeks and forced him to look behind and he felt his stomach drop at the sight. "Ohhh...," he whispered as he saw the squid clamber atop the writhing mass, wrangling the creature with some form of lasso. The brave calamari had won and claimed its mount.
As their eyes met, he saw utter hatred in those beady eyes. Raising his hands appeasingly as he slowly backed away, he called out, "Now there little buddy, let's think for a second here. No need to be angry about your castle and your maze."
"I'll fix it! See!" He said appeasingly as he grabbed a shattered piece and shakily stuck it to the broken wall. Jamming it in, he smiled nervously as pointed at his shoddy work, "There, one break at a time," but his hopes would come crashing down as he heard glass cracking around him.
Turning to the sound, he saw the piece he had stuck back into place creating a spider web of cracks spread to the crystalline walls. "Shit fuck, nooo!" He shrieked out as he tried to hold the walls, hoping it wouldn't crack any further but it was far too late. As he squeezed down, the whole maze, every last inch of the twisting walls and alleys shattered and came crashing down.
He cringed as the squid's shoulder sagged as it looked around. Guilt bubbles up his chest but he did not like how the squid's color rapidly shifted from going pale white to beet red. Chuckling nervously, he told the poor creature? "I'm sure you can make a new one… right?"
The squid let out an inarticulate shriek of rage before it lashed out, pointing a tentacle at him as a bolt of light lanced out at him. He barely had any time to react as he turned around, shielding his little stars, before the light struck his side. He let out a laugh as he squirmed under the strike which was soon followed by more.
He laughed out loud as the squid kept striking him, seemingly intent on tickling him to death. "Shtap! I'm going to pee!" He giggled out, covering his sides as the squid looked at him before staring back at its tentacles. It struck him again and again, making his sides hurt as laughed. He was tearing up as he was brought to his knees.
Finally it stopped, letting him take lungs full of air as he laid on the ground. "Oh thank fuck," He panted out in relief. He was finally released from his torment but the creature was not satisfied as it let out a shriek. His laughter would turn to a cry of horror as the calamari snapped its lead and had its new mount barreling straight at him.
Scrambling to his feet, he tried to dodge, but all it did was line him up for the creature's charge. He let out a cry of discomfort as the creature slammed into him, launching him into the distance. His screams trailed across the crystalline environment before slamming straight into a hard surface.
He cursed as he felt the barrier break before he found himself tumbling onto a fiery hell. Tumbling on the ground, he groaned as he came to a stop. Thankfully, his little lights kept on him throughout all the craziness that had happened. "Oh fuck, please tell me it's over," He moaned out to Red as it floated above him, pushing at him to move.
He would soon be answered as he heard the cries of tiny little lights marching across the blasted landscape. Getting up again, he shouted as he stomped on the light, "Shit! Fuck! Why does it have to be fire ants!" Despite the many stains he made across the floor, they would keep on coming, climbing up to his legs and stinging him repeatedly.
Shaking them off desperately, he could barely react when a large brass tin man came barreling at him, knocking him off his feet and sending him flying once more into the wall. This time, he would burst into a little play castle where he'd find a little elven girl with concerningly sparse clothes playing with lights as if they were toys.
His landing was softened by the many cushions in the castle, he would sigh out in relief. The blow had knocked off the ants. As much of a relief it was to be somewhere normal, the girl did not take too kindly to his presence. With a shriek, she launched herself at him and slapped him with her tiny little paws. While a bit roughed up, he wasn't so defenseless as to let her slap him. Forcing himself to stand up, he held out a hand to block her.
"Ow! No! Bad girl!" he scolded her as he deflected her strikes, looking at her sternly while standing his ground. This only seemed to infuriate her even more as she got a whole lot more pink than she was already. With a sigh, he sidestepped her before grabbing her the scruff of her collar, holding her up as she failed around, babbling in her incomprehensible language.
"Who taught you to hit people, jeez. Where are your parents anyways? I kinda need help," He asked her but all he got was the scowl of a furious little girl. He leaned away, cringing as she blew a wet raspberry at him. "And has anyone told you how rude you are?"
Looking around frantically with the girl and lights in hand, he wandered around and found that this lone singular room and its listless light was all this castle had. All the rest of the rooms were tiny little glove boxes to store toys it seems.
As he searched for a way out, and a place to set this girl down, Red would unexpectedly fly through the hole he made. "Oh, thank goodness you're ok!" He sighed out before letting out a cry of surprise as the girl made a lunge for Red.
"No! Bad! Bad!" He shouted as he set her down. Thankfully, she just stood there, crossing her arms with a look demanding for an explanation, "You don't just eat something like that! What if Red was poisonous or tasted bad!" Red would cry out in protest.
The girl flinched, cowering from him as her eyes water. He cringed as he heard her whimper and sniffle, his heart breaking at the sight. With a sigh, he reached out and stroked her hair, trying to calm the little girl down, "There there, I didn't mean to shout. I didn't want you to eat my friend, that's all," He explained.
Looking up at him hesitantly, the girl shied away from him but a smile had her latching on to him. "You seem all alone. Let's go find your parents ok?" He told her before he seized up as he heard the roar of the tin man, the calamari and the creature from the void echoing from the hole. "Ah crap,"
Pulling at the girl who stubbornly refused to let go, he told frantically, "Umm, kid, you can let go now! We'll walk faster if you're not hugging me!" He tried to pull away but the stubborn kid clung on, digging her heels on the ground, "Kid? I'd really appreciate it if you let go!" He told him but the mischievous smile that stretched across his face sent alarm bells ringing in his mind.
Without so much as a warning, the girl punched him right between the legs which had him seeing stars, "Right in the Gonads!" He squealed out as he bent over, just in time for the angry trio to barrel right at him.
For the third time, he went flying, crashing through the walls once again. Bursting through the new scenery, he beheld a great slug and a caged up fairy before he crashed right into the cage (and getting partially stuck in it), before slamming right into the slug. With his head stuck inside the cage with the, now rather roughed up fairy, he dashed the head of the creature, before landing roughly on the ground of the swamp.
As he laid there, clutching his lights against his chest, he pondered if he should just stay there. The place smelled horrid, like one of those truck stop toilets. The smells got even more horrible as the slug he slammed into started leaking some foul liquid while it laid there, twitching. The only saving grace from it all was just how comfortable the ground was.
Beat up and defeated, he was about to throw in the towel and give up when he saw a tiny clown-like creature beckoning him over. He looked at it in confusion, wondering what it wanted when it spoke up, "Here!"
Feeling some strength return to him, he crawled forward, dragging himself to the creature. "Oh thank god, someone who I can talk to!" He called out, nearly crying in relief as the clown nodded. "You have to help me! There's three insane midgets and a rabid dog chasing after me," He begged him, clutching the creature's legs.
Laughing at him, the creature would reach into its pocket before throwing sand at his eyes. "Fuck!" He cursed out, closing his eyes, feeling his whole body lurch while he tried to get the sand off his eyes, a fact made all the harder with the fairy's cage stuck to his head. As he got the stinging dust off his eyes and opened his eyes, he found himself in a whole new place; a tunnel just big enough to fit several of himself comfortably.
He looked around with bleary eyes, straining his ears for the stupid clown or the creatures chasing after him, but he found nought but peace. Slumping down, the chase was finally over. He must have looked so pitiful there that the fairy inside the cage stumbled over to him and gave him a pat on the head, "Thank you," She whispered kindly.
Finally away from danger, he felt some of the adrenaline fading away as the land of sleep called to him. Yawning, he told the fairy, "I'll free you later… let me just sleep," With those words, he felt his eyes shut close and he slipped into a deep slumber. He'd had enough excitement for the day, he was going to let future him handle this.
A/N:
Look at him go, creating quite the splash the first time he touched down the Galaxy. Heh, the four right now are definitely not happy. Tzeentch's realm is just obliterated, Khorne's armies smushed, Slaanesh has all her toys destroyed and well... let's just say Nurgle is going to wake up with a killer headache. Thankfully, our little friend got himself some slack by finding the realm of his people. Hopefully, things won't get as wild for him so soon after this~
Anyways, I'd like to thank @vyor making this possible. Praise be Vyor for he keeps most of my idea sane. Now if you want to support or want to read some fic chapters in advance, consider dropping by either Patreon or Ko-Fi. Without Old Man and the rest of my patreons, I wouldn't have been able to write this. Old Man, I hope you like you commission cause I'm posting them now!
Chapter 1
- Location
- A Tropical Island in the Pacific
A Lovely Tour
Sleep would be but a brief respite for him as he felt himself stir awake. As he laid there against the cold and strangely soft ground, groaning as a deep seated weariness spread over his body, he wondered if it was all just a dream. Maybe he'd just vividly dreamt the whole thing after forcing his body to swim that hard. After all, it'd been ages since he last swam and he had swam as hard as his legs could handle.
"Wake up!"
Yes, he's probably in his hotel room, having passed out from the excitement of yesterday. Surely he wouldn't have fallen through a portal and found himself in the void of space with nothing but a black hole as his island? It was simply too fantastical given what he had experienced afterwards. The lights, the creature from the void, the portal to a whole other realm, and those four? Surely it was all just a dream; yet a small seed of doubt wormed its way into his mind.
"Wake up!"
For a moment, he paused. There was that voice again. He was pretty sure he came alone on the trip. He wouldn't have anyone else in his room, right? He wasn't the type to invite someone over, after all, especially how the voice sounded like that of a young man.
"Wake up!"
Hearing their call, fear started to grip his heart. Who was that? What if he wasn't in his room anymore? What if it wasn't a dream? What if it was all real?
Shaking his head, he scrunched his eyes close as he buried his face on the soft ground. Maybe if he didn't open his eyes, he wouldn't see the truth! Yes, indeed, he could just stay there… but he could feel nature calling and his stomach was rumbling. There was also a sharp pain in his ass, like a bruise on one of the cheeks that needed attention. He needed to get up and he wouldn't be given a chance to do it slowly as he suddenly felt something slam into his closed eyes.
"Wake up!"
"Gah!?" He flailed about, clutching his eyes as he jumped to his feet. Rubbing his eyes, he shook his head, doing his best to clear his eyes. As the pain subsided, he finally got to see his surroundings and he could only fall down to his knees. He was not in the seaside hotel room he rented in Honolulu, instead finding himself inside a tunnel amidst a turbulent psychedelic sea.
Looking down to his trembling hands, he found not the limbs of a man but the thin limbs of some amphibian."Oh god, it wasn't a dream," He whispered in horror as he covered his face, feeling the changes that had happened to his body.
It was only now that he truly grasped the gravity of his situation, of how he had been twisted into a new form and all he could do was despair, "No, no, no…"
Clenching his fist, he then punched himself, snapping him out of the doom spiral he found himself in. "No! Bad Kermit, don't panic!" He told himself as he slapped himself in the cheeks, scolding himself, "Ok! Don't panic, panicking won't get you anywhere."
"Hey!"
A tiny voice would call out, making his whirl around to find a familiar dot of light greeting him. "Red! Oh thank god you're here," He sighed out in relief before terror filled his veins once more. "Wait, Where are the rest of you?!" His stars, his guidings lights, were not on his person.
His panic would be short-lived as Red suddenly swooped up before slamming down on his head, forcing him to look down and there he would find his lights on the ground. Strewn across the strange semi transparent ground, "Oh thank heavens," He whispered as he reached out, grabbing them.
As if they were stirred awake, all of them flowed up to his hands, orbiting themselves around him as before. It was strange that he found comfort in their lights. Maybe it was their soft glow or maybe it was because he knew they were alive, but one thing was clear at the very least; they were the only semblance of sanity he found in this strange realm. "I'll never lose you guys again." He told them.
"Hey!"
The voice would call out again, slapping him across the cheeks again. "Damn it, stop!" He told Red as it pushed against his face. He resisted at first as he was still checking on his collection of lights, but Red was quite insistent. Sighing, he relented, turning to where Red was pushing him just briefly before returning back to the others, "Ok, ok, I'll take a look," What he'd see soon after made him quickly reconsider.
There on the ground was a rusted bird cage with the largest light he had yet seen trapped inside. What was worse was the light from the being was fading, pulsing weakly as if gasping for air. "Shit, Fuck!" He cursed as he rushed to the cage.
He grabbed it, heedless of the danger that jagged and rusted metal bars brought. It stung his hands, but he pushed through, pulling it apart with surprising ease. Prying the bars open, he reached out and slowly pulled out the light within, "Don't worry buddy, Kermit's gotcha."
As he pulled them close to his chest, he realized that the light he pulled up wasn't just some shapeless blob but one in the shape of a small, hand-sized woman. Curled into a ball and shaking terribly, the fairy looked terrible. She looked green around the gills, somewhat literally at that with a green complexion, and terribly hot to the touch.
"What the hell happened to you?" He asked as he held her, "Well, whatever it was, I need to get you somewhere safe!" He continued as he looked around and wondered where he was going to go now.
The man(?) sized tunnel was just big enough to allow him to walk about comfortably, even if he had someone else walking by his side. Looking further ahead, he'd see the long winding path was lined with various branching paths of different sizes. Some were no smaller than a pin prick while others were just as big as his head. It was a confusing labyrinthian mess and he was in the center of it all.
"Hey!"
"Oh right, Red!" He whirled around as the light bobbed up and down ahead of him, "What is it?"
He wasn't quite sure what they wanted to do but with how they were heading down one of the paths and coming back to him, they might know a way? "Wait, you know your way around here?" He asked.
Red would warble about, almost looking like it was saying that they knew it… mostly. "Well considering that I don't even know where the hell I am, might as well!" He shrugged as he followed along, eliciting a tinkling cry of relief and excitement from Red.
Shaking his head, he said, "This is going to be one confusing game of charades considering your body is just a blob…?" Peering closer, he found that they were not just a shapeless blob but, unlike the full bodied fairy, he was but a floating and one eyed, almost featureless head, of a man. "Well, all head, but we're going to work something out right?"
"Hey!"
"That's the spirit Red," He chuckled, feeling his spirits lifted. Things weren't looking so bleak now that he had people with him. "You, Me, and Lady over here, We'll get through this! All of us," He promised them as he marched along, hoping to find something ,or someplace, to rest because the Little Lady wasn't looking too hot at that moment.
It was strange that, no matter how far they had walked, he wasn't getting tired. Yes, his stomach was quite empty and he was feeling parched, but it wasn't all that bad. It felt like they had walked an eternity, but such was always the case when the path they traveled through was just some desolate, featureless tunnel. Maybe it was just his mind playing tricks.
Looking up to the semi transparent ceiling, he wondered what was out there. He could see shapes, like small schools of fishes, swimming by in the strange rainbow sea. There were some big ones, almost the size of those four, but they didn't bother him. It was as if the walls themselves kept him from being seen. Not wanting to press his luck, he ignored them just as they ignored him.
Of course, it wasn't all boring as, from time to time, he'd see some strange rainbow star poke out of the holes before shrieking out and jumping back in. Where did those lights come from? They certainly didn't look native in the sea, seeing as some of the lights out there got gobbled up by those dirty shapes swimming about.
Looking back to Red, they were certainly looking a bit shaky. "Hey Red!" he called out, making the little light jump in surprise, "Do you know where we are?" He then asked.
He was met with silence and frantic flight before he clarified, "No, not where we are right now but what this place is called. This thing doesn't look like it's natural," It certainly wasn't in his eyes at least. It felt like the whole place was a corridor carved into the very sea itself, "It's strange you know, it feels like this place was built for me in mind…" he mused.
This seems to be a surprise for Red as it zipped back to him and started measuring him of all things. They would then measure the width and height of the tunnel, exclaiming in intrigue, "Hey!"
"Maybe there's more of me around?" He said out loud. Maybe it was just a desperate hope on his part but he shouldn't be alone right? It would be strange if he was the only one normal sized person there, especially with how vast and labyrinthian this place was.
Red's light seemed to dim for a bit before they started vibrating, intensifying in brightness as they forced out two words, "Web! Way!"
It took him by surprise, but it was a welcome one as he reached out and gave them a pat on the head, "Hey, you're getting better at this," He praised them, making them hiss and let out angry noises which was more of an adorable sight than anything. Chuckling, he shook his head. He continued walking, not minding the fairy as they kept sneezing. At least they were not as hot as before and their glow was far brighter now.
"The Webway?" He said out in wonder as he found the path widening before him as the numbers of pockmarks on the wall grew, "Huh, that certainly doesn't bode well. It feels like it's going to take us forever to get wherever you're taking me!" He exclaimed as his voice echoed through the hallway.
"Come on universe! Give me a bone here!" He shouted, feeling frustrated at the lack of progress made. "Give me something, anything! A way back to the beach would be nice!" He hollered only to cry out in surprise as one of the holes to the side lit up.
"Hey!"
Shielding his little companion and red with his body, he looked back at the glowing portal in fear. His companion, however, was not so afraid as it danced around in excitement, letting out whoops and whistles of happiness. Curiosity soon overcame his apprehension as he slowly inch towards the light, wondering what got his companion so excited.
"Hey… what's that?" He asked as he got closer to the portal. Inside the fist sized hole was what he thought was blue skies. His suspicions would be proven correct as he saw thick fluffy clouds and the tiniest birds crying from beyond. Excitement filled his body as he rushed forward towards the sounds of crashing wave but what greeted him on the other side was not what he expected
"Wait, what?"
"Wait, what?" That was the thought that filled a lone man as he stared up to the heavens and found the eye of a great xenos… frog staring back at him from beyond the clouds.
In all his time as a Commissar, and beyond his career as one, Ciaphas Cain had never seen such an absurd sight. He had fought xenos of all kinds and daemons beyond imagining, but to see such a massive one staring at him through a tear in time and space was not something he expected on a lazy afternoon day in his twilight years. Briefly, he looked down at his Pina Colada and wondered if the Amasec he used had gone off before he looked back up.
No, the frog was still there and he was definitely sure hadn't drank enough to start hallucinating. Slowly the giant pulled back revealing a strange amphibian face and a sickly eldar, one that was dwarfed by the giant, held in their clutch. For a moment, he thought this was the end, as the giant's hands raised up. Flinching, he raised his arms, braising for the inevitable. Fear gripped his heart as his life flashed across his eyes.
So this was it, this was how his journey was going to end. He had run and bullshitted his way through success after success, dreading that one day his own lies would catch up to him. He expected it during his first fight, he had expected his end in all the others too, until he believed that he had gotten away from it all unscathed; but his hubris would be his undoing.
Having faked his own death and using the many connections he made, he had hidden away, wasting away on a paradise world with his lover, his sweet Amberly, so that he might fade into obscurity so the madness could finally stop. It was paradise there, an idyllic and boring one: just like how he liked it, but not all good things last.
Now, it ends. Ciaphas Cain to be squashed like the bug he was, but was this how he was going to face his death? Was he just going to cower like a coward? No… maybe he, the great hero of the Imperium, should perform one last lie.
Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he composed himself as he breathed out. Straightening his stance to one more fitting of one of the highest decorated veterans in the Imperium, he decided to face death with dignity. Standing in attention with his drinks in his hand and a shaky, yet charming smile across his face, he looked back at the giant's eyes… and found them waving at him with a rather friendly smile in return.
"Hello!" The strange being greeted with a voice that was loud enough and clear enough that he'd have no difficulty hearing them anywhere on this planet, but not so loud as to flatten everything.
Gathering his wits and snapping himself out of the surprise, he puffed his chest as he greeted back, "Ho there strange xenos! You seem rather lost. Don't you know this is Imperium space?" He kept his confident smile, refusing to show any sign of weakness. He was currently unarmed, as his bolter was inside his hut, something his mentor would have been screaming at him for, what was a commissar without their weapon? He needed to get this Xenos away at any cost.
"Oh, is that where this is?" The green giant replied as a look of relief washed over them. Throwing their free hands up in the air, they then whooped in joy, "Thank god, civilization!"
Taken aback by the strange xeno's reaction, he cautioned, "You… seem lost?" This might just have been the strangest possible reason why they would be there but it wasn't out of the question. Everyone made mistakes, and this in one particular might have just taken a wrong turn. He could work with this.
Rubbing the back of his head, he chuckled, "Yeah, long story bud, but I'm kinda in a pickle here," Raising the woman in his arms, the xenos then asked, "Do you know of any hospitals around here? She really needs some help."
Looking at the woman, he couldn't help but wince. The Aeldari looked like she had just been pulled out of the swamps of the rotten grandfather. She looked deathly pale and like she was already one step through death's door.
Sighing, the poor xenos explained, "Found her in this rusted cage of all things. Don't want her catching tetanus cause looking at it almost gave me one!" That… did not bode well. He had dealt with the Aeldari kind long enough to know that the forces of chaos would go to great lengths in capturing one, and she might have just encountered the second worst bunch of the lot.
Scratching his head, he replied, "Unfortunately… we only have human Medicae's here and those that know Aeldar Biology…" She was in need of urgent care, no doubt, but a plague was not something this world could handle. Even then, the people that could potentially help her would not be so kind.
"But fret not my friend, I'm sure you'd find help somewhere else!" He then said, hoping that they went away now. They meant no harm, but harm would come to them if they stayed and that did not sound good given that the xenos was… well, a giant frog in the sky.
"Damn it," The Xeno's cursed, their shoulders sagging before they perked up as a strangely familiar bodiless head floated beside them. He refused to look in their direction, hoping to preserve what little sanity he had left.
"Wait, what's that, Red? Ask the man where to go on the Webway?" The xenos told the head before they frowned as the two started arguing, "Wait, weren't you guiding me? Oh don't sass me, you little shit!"
"Did you just say you're in the Webway?" He asked in surprise. There was an Aeldari Webway Portal here of all things? Frowning, he realized the folly of that question. Of course there was one here since this was his chosen retirement plan! The question now was why was a giant anthropomorphic frog was talking to him from the webway, and how?
It wasn't like they could open one at any point in space. There were specific portals, from what he remembered. Could this be one of those elaborate Aeldari plots? One made specifically to mess with him?
"Wait, you know the Webway?" They asked before glaring at their mysterious, and definitely not cyclopean, companion. "Finally, someone that I can ask directions from, unlike a certain someone!"
"Sure…?" He replied. Admittedly, he really didn't know much about the mysterious webway that the Aeldari used, but considering they popped out just about everywhere, it was best to assume that there was one in just about every corner of the galaxy.
"I think the nearest Aeldari Craftworld should be… huh," He racked his brain on any location he was sure there was Aeldari near and, fortunately, he didn't have to think for too long. "Well, you're in luck my friend! There should be an Aeldari settlement nearby. Just head in… that direction and you'll find Craftworld Ulthaine," He then told them as he pointed at a spot in the sky where they should be if his star map knowledge was still up to date. It was decades old information, but that should have been a good direction to follow.
The xenos turned around before blinking. "Oh huh, I didn't notice that path before, but thanks for the tip! Sorry to bother you and all so I should go away now," He said as he turned around and thanked him. Smiling at him, the strangely peaceful xenos then asked, "And oh by the way, before I forget, what's your name? My ma called me Kermit."
Kermit… What a strange name, but one that he'd remember given how he had just averted disaster without even raising a single finger! That was quite the improvement he had to say. Maybe he could write another book, but that was for future him to worry about. Puffing his chest, he then replied, "Cain, Caiphas Cain!"
He let his name be known despite the danger of him being exposed to the dangers of returning back to service. It wasn't like his name would mean much to a Xenos like him.
"Sick name dude!" The xenos then complimented. He wasn't sure why his name was sick, but it was probably slang from the xenos strange tongue. That reminds him, how could he understand them? Looking at their lips, they do not look like they were speaking High Gothic. Were they speaking directly to his mind? "Definitely going to pay you back one day! I uhh… don't have anything on me right now," The xenos promised.
"It's not a problem?" He replied, not really expecting much from it. It's not like they could give him something of value. Still, a favor was a favor so might as well, but it would be better if they just went away. His smile was feeling strained as it was, and he really wanted to get back to laying down. His back was not as good as it once was.
Scratching the back of his head, the giant frog then asked, "Also… this might be a bit much but can I have that Sandwich over there?" Before they pointed at the half forgotten meal he had. He was going to eat that before they disturbed his meal, "Haven't eaten anything since I got here."
Shrugging, he replied, "I'm not sure how that'll wor-! Nevermind," only to back away as the hand reached out, shrinking as it got nearer to the sandwich. It was as if he was looking at some forced perspective painting and he was inside it. The hand not only grew back as it was pulled up to the sky, so did the sandwich, growing to a size that would dwarf a moon, by his very own estimate.
"'I'm really sorry! I'll really pay you back one day!" The xenos shouted as they pulled away with the portal closing behind them. Finally, they left, earning a sigh of relief for them.
As he looked up at the spot in the sky where they once stood, his mind wandered,"That Sandwich could have fed an entire sector…" Just one sandwich was all he needed and he could feed so many people. Maybe he could ask for them to supersize a sandwich for him as a payment, but that would mean asking them to come back.
Shaking his head, he decided to just forget all about it as he returned back to his chair. His skin wasn't going to get itself tanned on its own after all! Just as he was about to lay back down, his lover would come running from forest cover with lasgun in hand.
"Cain! Cain!" his sweet Amberly shouted as she crashed into him and pulled him tightly for a hug, "Oh thank the Emperor you're alright!" Turning to the sky, he then told him, "I already called the PDF over, I'm not sure if they'll help but we can still mount a defense once the giant Xenos comes back."
"Now now Amberly," He replied with a soft chuckle. Gently stroking her silver mane, he reassured her, "Do you really think something like that would put me down? I'm Ciaphas Cain after all," Her presence was all he needed to calm his heart, for his breath was taken away every time he gazed at her. Despite the wrinkles in her features, she was still as lovely as ever.
"Worry not my love, I've already sent the monster away to the foul Aelderi's way," He replied. Kermit was their problem now. "In fact, I'm pretty sure I sent… them…" he then said before trailing off as he remembered where exactly he pointed them at. "Ohh fuck,"
He pulled away from this grasp as he clutched his head, panic quickly overwhelming. "Oh fuck! Why the hell did I send them there! There's dozens of other sightings, but why there?!" He cursed out as he paced around, wondering what he should do. He fucked up, he fucked up worse than any other fuck up in his long and lie filled career.
"Cain?" Amberly asked as she walked up to him, arms crossed across her chest, "What the fuck did you do!"
Wincing at her tone, he slowly turned around as he told her, "I may or may not have sent them in the general direction of Cadia," He had just sent a giant unknown Xenos directly to the gates of Cadia and this was all his fault. He needed to fix this and he needed to fix this fast. "Honey, pack your bags and give me back my coat. I'm coming out of retirement!"
"You better, because I swear if as much as a single stone in Cadia breaks, I'm going to break your back!" His wife threatened him, forcing him to his feet as they made a run for their hut. He made a giant mess but, this time around, he was going to set things right. He might be no true hero, but someone had to warn everyone.
"What a nice man, that Cain guy," Kermit said to his companion while he chewed on much needed food. He had been walking on an empty stomach all this time and he needed something, anything to get him going. It just so happened that he somehow stumbled upon that man and, not only did they actually know the way around, but they also had a Sandwich and it was the tastiest piece of meat, vegetables and sauce in between two slices of bread he'd ever tasted.
Unfortunately, while the portal led to a beach of all places, it simply wasn't big enough for him and the man did look terrified just seeing him. At least he knew that there were still humans around, even if he didn't look human anymore, and that they still had the same food he enjoyed. Biting down on the sandwich, he unashamedly moaned out.
He didn't know what it was in that bread, but the meat tasted like chicken if it had the flavor profile of Beef. Just meaty goodness with the texture of chicken. He wanted more, but he also had two companions to feed as well. Offering two thirds of the sandwich to the fairy, he told her, "Hey, wake up. Got some food. Should help with the sniffles." Soup would have been better, but beggars couldn't be choosers.
Slowly, they stirred awake, smiling up at him shakily as he coughed. She was roughed up but she was gaining more of a healthier complexion. Maybe he didn't even need to bring her to this "Craftworld Ulthaine", but better to be safe than sorry. Watching her nibble on the sandwich, he laughed as the tiny woman made all sorts of weird and strange faces, yet she powered through, "Take your time, it ain't going anywhere," He reminded as he chuckled. It was a bit tangy and heavy on the spices, but it was not that strong right?
Shaking his head, he then turned towards Red. Seeing them sulk from not knowing where they were at least made up for the headache they caused if they had just warned them they didn't know where to go. Was it really that hard for them to admit they were wrong? Still, they were just trying their best, so he couldn't hold that against them. Calling out to them, he then asked, "Hey, want a bite?"
Red turned towards them slowly, still looking a bit apprehensive from the looks of it. "Oh come on, do you really think I'd stay mad? Come here you!" He laughed as he reached out and ruffled their fuzzy top. Their protest only made them all the more adorable as they hissed and spit at them. "Alright, alright, I won't give you headpats… for now," He then said.
Red let out a huff of indignation as they turned around, refusing to meet their gaze. Truly, they were too cute for their own good.
Turning back his attention to the path ahead, he could see the same swirling entrance he slammed into when he fled from that void creature yesterday. It was certainly a pretty sight. Maybe that's why this Craftworld was near it. Probably enjoying the view and everything. Now, if only he could get there faster.
Humming, he thought back to the earlier experience he had. Just when he had that emotional outburst, a portal of all things opened up but that couldn't be the case right? It shouldn't be possible that he could just say something and the world would follow, but stranger things had happened. Maybe this was how the world worked here?
"Hey Red," He called out before asking hesitantly, unsure if he'd sound crazy, "Did… I do that? The portal thingy?"
Surprisingly, his companion would chime in agreement, "Hey!"
"Really? Huh… that could be useful," He replied. If he could just will himself to get to his destination, he'd no longer have to deal with all the walking. He might not tire, but his feet were certainly killing him now, and it didn't help that he had this strong pain in his ass. Maybe he pulled a muscle? Well, whatever it was, he needed a place so he could sit down and getting to this Ulthaine sounded like the best way to do so. He just needed to recreate that one instant earlier.
"Ok, what the hell did I do," he asked himself as he closed his eyes. He briefly remembered that feeling, that explosive and energetic shout he made just before that portal opened. There was that feeling, that need or rather the will to just have it happened.
"Craftworld Ulthaine!" He shouted, trying to think about the place but it wasn't clicking. Maybe he needed to visualize it as well? "Um, Hospital! House!" he shouted a few more times but he was getting nowhere. He'd try several more but they were just as unsuccessful as the last which just left him all frustrated, "Damn it!"
Shaking his head, he shouted, "Is it really that Universe? Just open me a portal to a goddamn City-!" Which was when the universe thought it would be a funny idea to open a portal directly below him. He screamed as he fell down a large cavern into another part of the webway. It would have been fine if not for the spikes down below.
With no time to think, he turned around and screwed his eyes shut as he braced himself for impact. Shielding his companions with his body, he crashed hard against the dark jagged surface. Thankfully, his skin was tougher than it looked as he felt the spikes break against his body, but that didn't not help him when he finally hit the ground.
"Oof!" he breathed out as the crash knocked the wind out of him. Tucking himself into a protective ball, he tumbled around, crashing every which way before he finally came to a stop.
Wincing, he slowly uncurled himself before laying flat on his back, groaning at all the jagged bits poking his back. As he opened his eyes, however, things would take a strange turn. "What the hell…" He whispered as he stared back at the surprised face of the tiniest human he'd ever seen right before his eyes. Behind them was the hall of a half destroyed colosseum that was far more fit for ants. Did… did he just land himself in Lilliput?
A/N:
Oh Kermit, the only person that has your luck is Ciaphas Cain... which he met! He's a great guy and pretty adaptable as well as he literally made a giant, reality bending frog go away, with a sandwich. To be fair, that Sandwich is a good one. It's A G.L.T Sandwich (Grox Lettuce and Tomatoes), 10 out of 10, Kermit recommends. "It taste like beef mixed with Chicken!" - Kermit
Anyways, I'd like to thank @vyor making this possible. Praise be Vyor because without him laughing, I wouldn't know which idea has potential. Now if you want to support or want to read some fic chapters in advance, consider dropping by either Patreon or Ko-Fi. Without my patreons, I wouldn't have been able to write this.
Sleep would be but a brief respite for him as he felt himself stir awake. As he laid there against the cold and strangely soft ground, groaning as a deep seated weariness spread over his body, he wondered if it was all just a dream. Maybe he'd just vividly dreamt the whole thing after forcing his body to swim that hard. After all, it'd been ages since he last swam and he had swam as hard as his legs could handle.
"Wake up!"
Yes, he's probably in his hotel room, having passed out from the excitement of yesterday. Surely he wouldn't have fallen through a portal and found himself in the void of space with nothing but a black hole as his island? It was simply too fantastical given what he had experienced afterwards. The lights, the creature from the void, the portal to a whole other realm, and those four? Surely it was all just a dream; yet a small seed of doubt wormed its way into his mind.
"Wake up!"
For a moment, he paused. There was that voice again. He was pretty sure he came alone on the trip. He wouldn't have anyone else in his room, right? He wasn't the type to invite someone over, after all, especially how the voice sounded like that of a young man.
"Wake up!"
Hearing their call, fear started to grip his heart. Who was that? What if he wasn't in his room anymore? What if it wasn't a dream? What if it was all real?
Shaking his head, he scrunched his eyes close as he buried his face on the soft ground. Maybe if he didn't open his eyes, he wouldn't see the truth! Yes, indeed, he could just stay there… but he could feel nature calling and his stomach was rumbling. There was also a sharp pain in his ass, like a bruise on one of the cheeks that needed attention. He needed to get up and he wouldn't be given a chance to do it slowly as he suddenly felt something slam into his closed eyes.
"Wake up!"
"Gah!?" He flailed about, clutching his eyes as he jumped to his feet. Rubbing his eyes, he shook his head, doing his best to clear his eyes. As the pain subsided, he finally got to see his surroundings and he could only fall down to his knees. He was not in the seaside hotel room he rented in Honolulu, instead finding himself inside a tunnel amidst a turbulent psychedelic sea.
Looking down to his trembling hands, he found not the limbs of a man but the thin limbs of some amphibian."Oh god, it wasn't a dream," He whispered in horror as he covered his face, feeling the changes that had happened to his body.
It was only now that he truly grasped the gravity of his situation, of how he had been twisted into a new form and all he could do was despair, "No, no, no…"
Clenching his fist, he then punched himself, snapping him out of the doom spiral he found himself in. "No! Bad Kermit, don't panic!" He told himself as he slapped himself in the cheeks, scolding himself, "Ok! Don't panic, panicking won't get you anywhere."
"Hey!"
A tiny voice would call out, making his whirl around to find a familiar dot of light greeting him. "Red! Oh thank god you're here," He sighed out in relief before terror filled his veins once more. "Wait, Where are the rest of you?!" His stars, his guidings lights, were not on his person.
His panic would be short-lived as Red suddenly swooped up before slamming down on his head, forcing him to look down and there he would find his lights on the ground. Strewn across the strange semi transparent ground, "Oh thank heavens," He whispered as he reached out, grabbing them.
As if they were stirred awake, all of them flowed up to his hands, orbiting themselves around him as before. It was strange that he found comfort in their lights. Maybe it was their soft glow or maybe it was because he knew they were alive, but one thing was clear at the very least; they were the only semblance of sanity he found in this strange realm. "I'll never lose you guys again." He told them.
"Hey!"
The voice would call out again, slapping him across the cheeks again. "Damn it, stop!" He told Red as it pushed against his face. He resisted at first as he was still checking on his collection of lights, but Red was quite insistent. Sighing, he relented, turning to where Red was pushing him just briefly before returning back to the others, "Ok, ok, I'll take a look," What he'd see soon after made him quickly reconsider.
There on the ground was a rusted bird cage with the largest light he had yet seen trapped inside. What was worse was the light from the being was fading, pulsing weakly as if gasping for air. "Shit, Fuck!" He cursed as he rushed to the cage.
He grabbed it, heedless of the danger that jagged and rusted metal bars brought. It stung his hands, but he pushed through, pulling it apart with surprising ease. Prying the bars open, he reached out and slowly pulled out the light within, "Don't worry buddy, Kermit's gotcha."
As he pulled them close to his chest, he realized that the light he pulled up wasn't just some shapeless blob but one in the shape of a small, hand-sized woman. Curled into a ball and shaking terribly, the fairy looked terrible. She looked green around the gills, somewhat literally at that with a green complexion, and terribly hot to the touch.
"What the hell happened to you?" He asked as he held her, "Well, whatever it was, I need to get you somewhere safe!" He continued as he looked around and wondered where he was going to go now.
The man(?) sized tunnel was just big enough to allow him to walk about comfortably, even if he had someone else walking by his side. Looking further ahead, he'd see the long winding path was lined with various branching paths of different sizes. Some were no smaller than a pin prick while others were just as big as his head. It was a confusing labyrinthian mess and he was in the center of it all.
"Hey!"
"Oh right, Red!" He whirled around as the light bobbed up and down ahead of him, "What is it?"
He wasn't quite sure what they wanted to do but with how they were heading down one of the paths and coming back to him, they might know a way? "Wait, you know your way around here?" He asked.
Red would warble about, almost looking like it was saying that they knew it… mostly. "Well considering that I don't even know where the hell I am, might as well!" He shrugged as he followed along, eliciting a tinkling cry of relief and excitement from Red.
Shaking his head, he said, "This is going to be one confusing game of charades considering your body is just a blob…?" Peering closer, he found that they were not just a shapeless blob but, unlike the full bodied fairy, he was but a floating and one eyed, almost featureless head, of a man. "Well, all head, but we're going to work something out right?"
"Hey!"
"That's the spirit Red," He chuckled, feeling his spirits lifted. Things weren't looking so bleak now that he had people with him. "You, Me, and Lady over here, We'll get through this! All of us," He promised them as he marched along, hoping to find something ,or someplace, to rest because the Little Lady wasn't looking too hot at that moment.
It was strange that, no matter how far they had walked, he wasn't getting tired. Yes, his stomach was quite empty and he was feeling parched, but it wasn't all that bad. It felt like they had walked an eternity, but such was always the case when the path they traveled through was just some desolate, featureless tunnel. Maybe it was just his mind playing tricks.
Looking up to the semi transparent ceiling, he wondered what was out there. He could see shapes, like small schools of fishes, swimming by in the strange rainbow sea. There were some big ones, almost the size of those four, but they didn't bother him. It was as if the walls themselves kept him from being seen. Not wanting to press his luck, he ignored them just as they ignored him.
Of course, it wasn't all boring as, from time to time, he'd see some strange rainbow star poke out of the holes before shrieking out and jumping back in. Where did those lights come from? They certainly didn't look native in the sea, seeing as some of the lights out there got gobbled up by those dirty shapes swimming about.
Looking back to Red, they were certainly looking a bit shaky. "Hey Red!" he called out, making the little light jump in surprise, "Do you know where we are?" He then asked.
He was met with silence and frantic flight before he clarified, "No, not where we are right now but what this place is called. This thing doesn't look like it's natural," It certainly wasn't in his eyes at least. It felt like the whole place was a corridor carved into the very sea itself, "It's strange you know, it feels like this place was built for me in mind…" he mused.
This seems to be a surprise for Red as it zipped back to him and started measuring him of all things. They would then measure the width and height of the tunnel, exclaiming in intrigue, "Hey!"
"Maybe there's more of me around?" He said out loud. Maybe it was just a desperate hope on his part but he shouldn't be alone right? It would be strange if he was the only one normal sized person there, especially with how vast and labyrinthian this place was.
Red's light seemed to dim for a bit before they started vibrating, intensifying in brightness as they forced out two words, "Web! Way!"
It took him by surprise, but it was a welcome one as he reached out and gave them a pat on the head, "Hey, you're getting better at this," He praised them, making them hiss and let out angry noises which was more of an adorable sight than anything. Chuckling, he shook his head. He continued walking, not minding the fairy as they kept sneezing. At least they were not as hot as before and their glow was far brighter now.
"The Webway?" He said out in wonder as he found the path widening before him as the numbers of pockmarks on the wall grew, "Huh, that certainly doesn't bode well. It feels like it's going to take us forever to get wherever you're taking me!" He exclaimed as his voice echoed through the hallway.
"Come on universe! Give me a bone here!" He shouted, feeling frustrated at the lack of progress made. "Give me something, anything! A way back to the beach would be nice!" He hollered only to cry out in surprise as one of the holes to the side lit up.
"Hey!"
Shielding his little companion and red with his body, he looked back at the glowing portal in fear. His companion, however, was not so afraid as it danced around in excitement, letting out whoops and whistles of happiness. Curiosity soon overcame his apprehension as he slowly inch towards the light, wondering what got his companion so excited.
"Hey… what's that?" He asked as he got closer to the portal. Inside the fist sized hole was what he thought was blue skies. His suspicions would be proven correct as he saw thick fluffy clouds and the tiniest birds crying from beyond. Excitement filled his body as he rushed forward towards the sounds of crashing wave but what greeted him on the other side was not what he expected
"Wait, what?"
"Wait, what?" That was the thought that filled a lone man as he stared up to the heavens and found the eye of a great xenos… frog staring back at him from beyond the clouds.
In all his time as a Commissar, and beyond his career as one, Ciaphas Cain had never seen such an absurd sight. He had fought xenos of all kinds and daemons beyond imagining, but to see such a massive one staring at him through a tear in time and space was not something he expected on a lazy afternoon day in his twilight years. Briefly, he looked down at his Pina Colada and wondered if the Amasec he used had gone off before he looked back up.
No, the frog was still there and he was definitely sure hadn't drank enough to start hallucinating. Slowly the giant pulled back revealing a strange amphibian face and a sickly eldar, one that was dwarfed by the giant, held in their clutch. For a moment, he thought this was the end, as the giant's hands raised up. Flinching, he raised his arms, braising for the inevitable. Fear gripped his heart as his life flashed across his eyes.
So this was it, this was how his journey was going to end. He had run and bullshitted his way through success after success, dreading that one day his own lies would catch up to him. He expected it during his first fight, he had expected his end in all the others too, until he believed that he had gotten away from it all unscathed; but his hubris would be his undoing.
Having faked his own death and using the many connections he made, he had hidden away, wasting away on a paradise world with his lover, his sweet Amberly, so that he might fade into obscurity so the madness could finally stop. It was paradise there, an idyllic and boring one: just like how he liked it, but not all good things last.
Now, it ends. Ciaphas Cain to be squashed like the bug he was, but was this how he was going to face his death? Was he just going to cower like a coward? No… maybe he, the great hero of the Imperium, should perform one last lie.
Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he composed himself as he breathed out. Straightening his stance to one more fitting of one of the highest decorated veterans in the Imperium, he decided to face death with dignity. Standing in attention with his drinks in his hand and a shaky, yet charming smile across his face, he looked back at the giant's eyes… and found them waving at him with a rather friendly smile in return.
"Hello!" The strange being greeted with a voice that was loud enough and clear enough that he'd have no difficulty hearing them anywhere on this planet, but not so loud as to flatten everything.
Gathering his wits and snapping himself out of the surprise, he puffed his chest as he greeted back, "Ho there strange xenos! You seem rather lost. Don't you know this is Imperium space?" He kept his confident smile, refusing to show any sign of weakness. He was currently unarmed, as his bolter was inside his hut, something his mentor would have been screaming at him for, what was a commissar without their weapon? He needed to get this Xenos away at any cost.
"Oh, is that where this is?" The green giant replied as a look of relief washed over them. Throwing their free hands up in the air, they then whooped in joy, "Thank god, civilization!"
Taken aback by the strange xeno's reaction, he cautioned, "You… seem lost?" This might just have been the strangest possible reason why they would be there but it wasn't out of the question. Everyone made mistakes, and this in one particular might have just taken a wrong turn. He could work with this.
Rubbing the back of his head, he chuckled, "Yeah, long story bud, but I'm kinda in a pickle here," Raising the woman in his arms, the xenos then asked, "Do you know of any hospitals around here? She really needs some help."
Looking at the woman, he couldn't help but wince. The Aeldari looked like she had just been pulled out of the swamps of the rotten grandfather. She looked deathly pale and like she was already one step through death's door.
Sighing, the poor xenos explained, "Found her in this rusted cage of all things. Don't want her catching tetanus cause looking at it almost gave me one!" That… did not bode well. He had dealt with the Aeldari kind long enough to know that the forces of chaos would go to great lengths in capturing one, and she might have just encountered the second worst bunch of the lot.
Scratching his head, he replied, "Unfortunately… we only have human Medicae's here and those that know Aeldar Biology…" She was in need of urgent care, no doubt, but a plague was not something this world could handle. Even then, the people that could potentially help her would not be so kind.
"But fret not my friend, I'm sure you'd find help somewhere else!" He then said, hoping that they went away now. They meant no harm, but harm would come to them if they stayed and that did not sound good given that the xenos was… well, a giant frog in the sky.
"Damn it," The Xeno's cursed, their shoulders sagging before they perked up as a strangely familiar bodiless head floated beside them. He refused to look in their direction, hoping to preserve what little sanity he had left.
"Wait, what's that, Red? Ask the man where to go on the Webway?" The xenos told the head before they frowned as the two started arguing, "Wait, weren't you guiding me? Oh don't sass me, you little shit!"
"Did you just say you're in the Webway?" He asked in surprise. There was an Aeldari Webway Portal here of all things? Frowning, he realized the folly of that question. Of course there was one here since this was his chosen retirement plan! The question now was why was a giant anthropomorphic frog was talking to him from the webway, and how?
It wasn't like they could open one at any point in space. There were specific portals, from what he remembered. Could this be one of those elaborate Aeldari plots? One made specifically to mess with him?
"Wait, you know the Webway?" They asked before glaring at their mysterious, and definitely not cyclopean, companion. "Finally, someone that I can ask directions from, unlike a certain someone!"
"Sure…?" He replied. Admittedly, he really didn't know much about the mysterious webway that the Aeldari used, but considering they popped out just about everywhere, it was best to assume that there was one in just about every corner of the galaxy.
"I think the nearest Aeldari Craftworld should be… huh," He racked his brain on any location he was sure there was Aeldari near and, fortunately, he didn't have to think for too long. "Well, you're in luck my friend! There should be an Aeldari settlement nearby. Just head in… that direction and you'll find Craftworld Ulthaine," He then told them as he pointed at a spot in the sky where they should be if his star map knowledge was still up to date. It was decades old information, but that should have been a good direction to follow.
The xenos turned around before blinking. "Oh huh, I didn't notice that path before, but thanks for the tip! Sorry to bother you and all so I should go away now," He said as he turned around and thanked him. Smiling at him, the strangely peaceful xenos then asked, "And oh by the way, before I forget, what's your name? My ma called me Kermit."
Kermit… What a strange name, but one that he'd remember given how he had just averted disaster without even raising a single finger! That was quite the improvement he had to say. Maybe he could write another book, but that was for future him to worry about. Puffing his chest, he then replied, "Cain, Caiphas Cain!"
He let his name be known despite the danger of him being exposed to the dangers of returning back to service. It wasn't like his name would mean much to a Xenos like him.
"Sick name dude!" The xenos then complimented. He wasn't sure why his name was sick, but it was probably slang from the xenos strange tongue. That reminds him, how could he understand them? Looking at their lips, they do not look like they were speaking High Gothic. Were they speaking directly to his mind? "Definitely going to pay you back one day! I uhh… don't have anything on me right now," The xenos promised.
"It's not a problem?" He replied, not really expecting much from it. It's not like they could give him something of value. Still, a favor was a favor so might as well, but it would be better if they just went away. His smile was feeling strained as it was, and he really wanted to get back to laying down. His back was not as good as it once was.
Scratching the back of his head, the giant frog then asked, "Also… this might be a bit much but can I have that Sandwich over there?" Before they pointed at the half forgotten meal he had. He was going to eat that before they disturbed his meal, "Haven't eaten anything since I got here."
Shrugging, he replied, "I'm not sure how that'll wor-! Nevermind," only to back away as the hand reached out, shrinking as it got nearer to the sandwich. It was as if he was looking at some forced perspective painting and he was inside it. The hand not only grew back as it was pulled up to the sky, so did the sandwich, growing to a size that would dwarf a moon, by his very own estimate.
"'I'm really sorry! I'll really pay you back one day!" The xenos shouted as they pulled away with the portal closing behind them. Finally, they left, earning a sigh of relief for them.
As he looked up at the spot in the sky where they once stood, his mind wandered,"That Sandwich could have fed an entire sector…" Just one sandwich was all he needed and he could feed so many people. Maybe he could ask for them to supersize a sandwich for him as a payment, but that would mean asking them to come back.
Shaking his head, he decided to just forget all about it as he returned back to his chair. His skin wasn't going to get itself tanned on its own after all! Just as he was about to lay back down, his lover would come running from forest cover with lasgun in hand.
"Cain! Cain!" his sweet Amberly shouted as she crashed into him and pulled him tightly for a hug, "Oh thank the Emperor you're alright!" Turning to the sky, he then told him, "I already called the PDF over, I'm not sure if they'll help but we can still mount a defense once the giant Xenos comes back."
"Now now Amberly," He replied with a soft chuckle. Gently stroking her silver mane, he reassured her, "Do you really think something like that would put me down? I'm Ciaphas Cain after all," Her presence was all he needed to calm his heart, for his breath was taken away every time he gazed at her. Despite the wrinkles in her features, she was still as lovely as ever.
"Worry not my love, I've already sent the monster away to the foul Aelderi's way," He replied. Kermit was their problem now. "In fact, I'm pretty sure I sent… them…" he then said before trailing off as he remembered where exactly he pointed them at. "Ohh fuck,"
He pulled away from this grasp as he clutched his head, panic quickly overwhelming. "Oh fuck! Why the hell did I send them there! There's dozens of other sightings, but why there?!" He cursed out as he paced around, wondering what he should do. He fucked up, he fucked up worse than any other fuck up in his long and lie filled career.
"Cain?" Amberly asked as she walked up to him, arms crossed across her chest, "What the fuck did you do!"
Wincing at her tone, he slowly turned around as he told her, "I may or may not have sent them in the general direction of Cadia," He had just sent a giant unknown Xenos directly to the gates of Cadia and this was all his fault. He needed to fix this and he needed to fix this fast. "Honey, pack your bags and give me back my coat. I'm coming out of retirement!"
"You better, because I swear if as much as a single stone in Cadia breaks, I'm going to break your back!" His wife threatened him, forcing him to his feet as they made a run for their hut. He made a giant mess but, this time around, he was going to set things right. He might be no true hero, but someone had to warn everyone.
"What a nice man, that Cain guy," Kermit said to his companion while he chewed on much needed food. He had been walking on an empty stomach all this time and he needed something, anything to get him going. It just so happened that he somehow stumbled upon that man and, not only did they actually know the way around, but they also had a Sandwich and it was the tastiest piece of meat, vegetables and sauce in between two slices of bread he'd ever tasted.
Unfortunately, while the portal led to a beach of all places, it simply wasn't big enough for him and the man did look terrified just seeing him. At least he knew that there were still humans around, even if he didn't look human anymore, and that they still had the same food he enjoyed. Biting down on the sandwich, he unashamedly moaned out.
He didn't know what it was in that bread, but the meat tasted like chicken if it had the flavor profile of Beef. Just meaty goodness with the texture of chicken. He wanted more, but he also had two companions to feed as well. Offering two thirds of the sandwich to the fairy, he told her, "Hey, wake up. Got some food. Should help with the sniffles." Soup would have been better, but beggars couldn't be choosers.
Slowly, they stirred awake, smiling up at him shakily as he coughed. She was roughed up but she was gaining more of a healthier complexion. Maybe he didn't even need to bring her to this "Craftworld Ulthaine", but better to be safe than sorry. Watching her nibble on the sandwich, he laughed as the tiny woman made all sorts of weird and strange faces, yet she powered through, "Take your time, it ain't going anywhere," He reminded as he chuckled. It was a bit tangy and heavy on the spices, but it was not that strong right?
Shaking his head, he then turned towards Red. Seeing them sulk from not knowing where they were at least made up for the headache they caused if they had just warned them they didn't know where to go. Was it really that hard for them to admit they were wrong? Still, they were just trying their best, so he couldn't hold that against them. Calling out to them, he then asked, "Hey, want a bite?"
Red turned towards them slowly, still looking a bit apprehensive from the looks of it. "Oh come on, do you really think I'd stay mad? Come here you!" He laughed as he reached out and ruffled their fuzzy top. Their protest only made them all the more adorable as they hissed and spit at them. "Alright, alright, I won't give you headpats… for now," He then said.
Red let out a huff of indignation as they turned around, refusing to meet their gaze. Truly, they were too cute for their own good.
Turning back his attention to the path ahead, he could see the same swirling entrance he slammed into when he fled from that void creature yesterday. It was certainly a pretty sight. Maybe that's why this Craftworld was near it. Probably enjoying the view and everything. Now, if only he could get there faster.
Humming, he thought back to the earlier experience he had. Just when he had that emotional outburst, a portal of all things opened up but that couldn't be the case right? It shouldn't be possible that he could just say something and the world would follow, but stranger things had happened. Maybe this was how the world worked here?
"Hey Red," He called out before asking hesitantly, unsure if he'd sound crazy, "Did… I do that? The portal thingy?"
Surprisingly, his companion would chime in agreement, "Hey!"
"Really? Huh… that could be useful," He replied. If he could just will himself to get to his destination, he'd no longer have to deal with all the walking. He might not tire, but his feet were certainly killing him now, and it didn't help that he had this strong pain in his ass. Maybe he pulled a muscle? Well, whatever it was, he needed a place so he could sit down and getting to this Ulthaine sounded like the best way to do so. He just needed to recreate that one instant earlier.
"Ok, what the hell did I do," he asked himself as he closed his eyes. He briefly remembered that feeling, that explosive and energetic shout he made just before that portal opened. There was that feeling, that need or rather the will to just have it happened.
"Craftworld Ulthaine!" He shouted, trying to think about the place but it wasn't clicking. Maybe he needed to visualize it as well? "Um, Hospital! House!" he shouted a few more times but he was getting nowhere. He'd try several more but they were just as unsuccessful as the last which just left him all frustrated, "Damn it!"
Shaking his head, he shouted, "Is it really that Universe? Just open me a portal to a goddamn City-!" Which was when the universe thought it would be a funny idea to open a portal directly below him. He screamed as he fell down a large cavern into another part of the webway. It would have been fine if not for the spikes down below.
With no time to think, he turned around and screwed his eyes shut as he braced himself for impact. Shielding his companions with his body, he crashed hard against the dark jagged surface. Thankfully, his skin was tougher than it looked as he felt the spikes break against his body, but that didn't not help him when he finally hit the ground.
"Oof!" he breathed out as the crash knocked the wind out of him. Tucking himself into a protective ball, he tumbled around, crashing every which way before he finally came to a stop.
Wincing, he slowly uncurled himself before laying flat on his back, groaning at all the jagged bits poking his back. As he opened his eyes, however, things would take a strange turn. "What the hell…" He whispered as he stared back at the surprised face of the tiniest human he'd ever seen right before his eyes. Behind them was the hall of a half destroyed colosseum that was far more fit for ants. Did… did he just land himself in Lilliput?
A/N:
Oh Kermit, the only person that has your luck is Ciaphas Cain... which he met! He's a great guy and pretty adaptable as well as he literally made a giant, reality bending frog go away, with a sandwich. To be fair, that Sandwich is a good one. It's A G.L.T Sandwich (Grox Lettuce and Tomatoes), 10 out of 10, Kermit recommends. "It taste like beef mixed with Chicken!" - Kermit
Anyways, I'd like to thank @vyor making this possible. Praise be Vyor because without him laughing, I wouldn't know which idea has potential. Now if you want to support or want to read some fic chapters in advance, consider dropping by either Patreon or Ko-Fi. Without my patreons, I wouldn't have been able to write this.
Chapter 2
- Location
- A Tropical Island in the Pacific
Lilliputian City
Wincing in pain, he stood up and looked around. There before him was a city on fire. The spikes he saw from above turned out not to be mere deadly implements of impalement, but actual buildings, buildings that his surprisingly tough body had crushed.
For the first time ever since he'd arrived in the galaxy, he'd found a civilization. Unfortunately, its people were no bigger than ants to his eyes and he just so happened to do the metaphorical equivalent of stepping on their mound.
"Oh fuck, this does not look good…" He whispered as he bumped into a large tower behind him, toppling the spire into the web of delicate highways and bridges down below. He winced as he heard the screams that followed. "Oh shit, Where the fuck are we?" He asked, wondering where the hell they were now. He wished for a City but he didn't wish to be dropped on one! Well, beggars couldn't be choosers, he supposed.
Still, what terrible luck he had. Not only had he been carrying around a terribly sick elf and had been the caretaker of a constellation of stars, he now had a city to deal with. He knew his luck was already awful, but this was just the universe kicking him while his down!
"There's no need to panic, you can get through this, easy peasy," He laughed out nervously as he slapped his cheeks. He was a frog with an elf and a whole constellation of stars. He'd already escaped five terrible disasters, he can get through this!
"Hey!" Red frantically started nudging him, calling to his attention.
"Red, let me think!" He told him, pushing him aside as he clutched his head. Should he run? Should he stay and talk things out? All these thoughts running through him, but he couldn't find an answer, and it didn't help that Red would not stop bugging! "I said quiet it… ohh… oh fuck…" he snapped before trailing off as he saw that the inhabitants had come out in force.
Every street and avenue, every building that still stood, there were tiny little men and women all armed to the teeth with the sharpest and pointiest bits he had ever seen. From swords to guns and whip, they had it all. They even came with boats, floating boats with black gleaming globes of light all pointed at him. Strangely, they had light similar to some of his stars but they were far muted (or maybe contained) but that wasn't important right then.
"Hey!" Red blustered, swooping angrily at those that came near, and to his credit the forces held back, their leader (the one with the brightest light) screaming what he assumed was order. They were in a stalemate… but he was surrounded.
Not only was he in a dire situation, but so too was his elven companion curled up against his chest. It was just him, Red, his half eaten sandwich, the elf and all the stars he'd gathered so far. Thrust into such a dire situation, he squared himself up, threw his hands up before he shouted without hesitation, "I surrender!"
He was met with stunned silence as he felt all eyes on him. Did he say something wrong? "Hey!" Red thought so as he squeaked angrily at him.
"I know this doesn't look good! Just look at what I did!" He fired back before gesturing at the destruction he had caused. Toppled buildings, sections of the city on fire and what he assumed were explosions in the distance. He knew he landed hard, but he didn't expect to have landed this hard. "You think they'd let me go scot free?"
"Oh man oh man, what am I gonna do!?" He squeaked out, feeling the weight of the situation settle upon his amphibian shoulders. He was in deep shit and he knew it. What could he do? It wasn't not like he could just fix this… but what if he could? "Wait, I can fix this!"
"Hey!" His companion disagreed with him, and rather angrily at that.
"Look, what if I tried fixing things!" He told them as he slowly reached down to the spire of the building he had just knocked over. Ignoring the insistent nudging of his companion, he then said, "Man… this tower looks amazing and-ouch!" he winced, pulling back his hands as he noted, "rather pointy…" His actions were swiftly met with angry shrieks.
"Hey," His companion then chimed and he could feel the exasperation dripping off from the little sprite.
"Yes, I know this sounds dumb and it could be dangerous but can you atleast me try and work this out?" He hissed back, "I've been running non stop ever since I got here… talking it out would be a good change you know?" He said. Looking at the spiky ones, they might've looked a bit like the cenobites, but it wasn't like they'd be like that. That would just be too cliche and obvious, after all. They were probably the misunderstood type right?
"Plus, it's not like I can run, not with her on my hands!" He then added. Indeed, there was also the matter of his sick companion. He was basically encumbered and, from the looks of things, the city stretched from end to end of the tunnel. Speaking off… why the hell did the tunnels look a lot bigger? The tunnel's roof no longer dipped down to the top of his head. The portals, too, looked a bit bigger. Did he shrink? Maybe the tunnels in this area were just a lot bigger.
His companion, meanwhile, would just roll their eyes and sass back at him, telling him how misguided he was with his decisions, "Hey,"
"They're not like those four or that giant void beast," He argued before gesturing at all the buildings they had. From the looks of it, they looked like tiny elves… elves in BDSM outfits. Maybe it was a bit hot around here from time to time? "They have a city and stuff. They must at least be civilized right?"
"Hey!" His companion scoffed back.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, he then asked him, "Just trust me, ok?" He really didn't want to run anymore, not when he hadn't even tried talking things out.
Red would give him a look before he gave him his equivalent of throwing his hands up into the air and just resting on his shoulder. Taking it as a silent method of agreement, he then turned back to the angry mob that he had been ignoring.
"Ummm, hi! " He called out, trying to get their attention. "I think we started off on the wrong foot. How about I explain my side of things before you go and try to stab me, ok?" He tried reasoning with them and their angry cries quickly silenced as they looked at him. Good, he was getting somewhere.
"Ok, good. Glad we're all on the same page," He breathed out in relief as he looked around. Despite their tiny size, he could see their apprehension, maybe even feel it as he continued, "I'm really sorry about all this… but I'm kinda in an emergency?" He then raised his female companion, letting them all see her as he told them, "My friend, she's sick!"
There's a gasp from the crowd as he held her aloft. For a moment, the mob that had gathered faltered. Finally, he found people with a bit of compassion! He thought that sandwich guy was all there was in the Galaxy. "I'm really sorry about everything, but please, I don't mean you harm. In fact, I didn't even mean to stumble into your city!" He then told them, making a plea for forgiveness.
The cries of disbelief and anger that met him this time around were a bit softer and more subdued as the crowd murmured and talked to each other. He was getting through them! Taking this chance, he pressed on forward, "Look, I'm just a man… frog thing that's just walking around trying to find a place called the Craftworld Ulthaine," He told them, appealing to their need to see him gone this time around rather than their mercy, "If anyone here can point me to where that is, I'd be more than happy to get out of your hair."
Telling them where he was going might have not been the best idea as all the good will he might have created earlier melted away as anger once more replaced it. It was as if the mere mention of the craftsworlds name managed to rile them up? Did this place and Craftworld Ulthwé have a history together? That didn't matter now however as he still had a very, very angry crowd against him and one he needed to pacify now as they closed in.
"Uh bad history huh? Umm… uh…" He stumbled, thinking fast on what to do. If reasoning couldn't get through them, how about appeasement through gifts! Looking at the leftover sandwich he still had in hand, he quickly offered it up, "I can give you… oh fuck, this tiny bit of sandwich!" tossing them his left over around, he reasoned, "It's bigger than even some of your building!"
That was however met with a beam that promptly dissolved it to dust. That did not look good at all now that it was pointed at him. In one last bid to try and get them off his back, he picked up the tower spire he knocked over, ignoring the pain from doing so, and told them all, "Look! I can really try repairing the tower!"
Jumping up and grabbing the top of the tower, he hauled himself up before pressing the tower piece down. The sound of breaking glass did not sound good, but at least the tower was whole again, "See?" Or so he thought as the building started cracking "Oh fuck…"
Yelping in surprise, the building gave way as the floors pancaked atop each other, leaving a pile of rubble behind and him half buried in the mess. Groaning, he barely had time to react as the mob was on him, throwing ropes all over him while others tried stabbing him.
"Hey!" Red tried fighting them off, trying to ward them off, but his form seemed to just pass through them, becoming merely an annoyance to them all. Not even the stars that followed Red's lead could distract the crowd even as they actually pushed some off. Still, the crowd was relentless.
"Stop! No, wait!" He begged them, trying to push them off him without squishing them; a feat that was proving to be all but impossible. Cradling his elven companion closely, he told them "Just give me a chance! I really want to talk things out, but I can't understand you!"
As much as he pleaded, it was far too late. Bound to the ground with more people on him than he was comfortable with, he was now trapped. Any sudden movement would end in the death of many of them, not when they were too busy trying to cause him pain; a feat they were failing in every aspect.
He could hear their anger and their hate but their voices were just so teeny, he couldn't hear what they were saying exactly, "Look! I really want to help you guys but I can't understand you!" He blurted out, "All of you sound like you're squeaking like this!" In panic, let out a long series of squeaks that mimicked their cries, one that somehow made them all stop… in pain at least.
"The accent might be a bit off, but that's what you all sound to me," He then said as he laid down, just waiting for them to continue stabbing but this time, they didn't continue. In fact, they started talking to him.
He winced as he heard the telltale sign of a megaphone rang out across the city before a smooth, yet slimy voice started talking to him. "Testing, testing. Can you hear me?" The man asked.
"You can talk!" He cried out in surprise. Finally, he could understand them. "I'm sorry! I really didn't meat for this to happen!" As bad as things were, he didn't want to hurt them at all. "Please don't hurt my friends! I know they mean well, but they have nothing to do with this!" He apologized for Red and the lights even as Red cried out in anger.
"Of course we can talk, you buffoon! Why wouldn't wouldn't we be able to?" The man snapped back, insulted by his words. Turning his head towards the voice, he came face to face with a brightest light amongst the crowd, a malevolent looking spark within a tiny elf that looked akin to his companion, albeit several dozen times smaller, "After all, your kind made us!"
"My kind?" He choked out. Did they know what he had turned to? Were there people before him that also got sent to this dimension? "Wait, my friends! My companions, please!" He then begged once more, pushing away those attempting to grab the elf of his hands.
"Don't act like a fool, we know what you're here for!" The man snapped at him, suddenly appearing on his chest with a burst of light as they pointed a sword at him. "You're just here to finish the job, to wipe us all out for straying from your designs!" The man raved before letting out a bloodthirsty grin that sent shivers down his spine.
"Unfortunately for you my, Amphibian friend, the might of Commaragh will not be so easily broken!" The man gloated before turning to the army that surrounded them, "Bring out the Analizer!" He felt whatever resolve he had quickly wither in the vines as he unconsciously crossed his legs.
"Wait! Wait!" He cried out, "Before we bring out anything that might sodomize me, can we talk this out like honorable men and women?" he attempted once more. Yes he was down but let it not be said that he wasn't trying his damn hardest to deescalate the situation. He was the bigger man, he refused to stoop down to the level of barbarity.
There was a pause once more in the crowd as the man gave him a look, one that was asking if he was stupid. Seizing his chance, he blurted out, "I don't know anything about my kind, which kind sounds a bit racist, just to be clear!"
"Thank you," The man replied, smiling as if he had just been praised.
This left Kermit a bit aghast, but he quickly gathered himself. If he wanted to talk things out, he'd better work fast. SInce they could now talk, they could understand him "... but I didn't even know your city existed before I even got here!" He insisted once more.
Raising his hands appeasingly, snapping through the ropes they tossed at him with ease, he admitted, "Yes, I destroyed parts of your city but I didn't mean too," He reiterated, "Honestly!"
He could see that he had once again stunned them into silence. Taking his chance, he then offered an alternative, "Tell you what, why don't I do community service to pay off my debt…" He then trailed off as he looked down on his elven companion before continuing, "But right after I get my friend to a hospital because she's really, reallllyyyy sick." It was the same old spiel he'd made before, but he had a good feeling that this time around things would work.
There was a long pregnant silence between them and he winced, expecting the worst. That was until he heard the man burst into laughter, "You really intend on trying to be diplomatic, do you? Even when we have you on the ropes, you insist on trying to talk things out?" The man asked.
"Hey, so long as I can avoid bloodshed, I'll try to do anything," He replied. Violence must never be the first response he threw at a problem, not when he could still talk, and it was working. The man threw back his head and laughed some more. Nervously, he joined the man, laughing with him as well.
As the tiny man gathered his wits, he cleared his throat, silencing him as well as the rest of the mob that had started to whisper and mutter at their leaders (he assumed he was the leader at least) words. "You know what, let's do it," The man offered as he knelt on his chest and looked down on him, a feat he was in awe of. The man certainly had quite the presence. Waving his hands, he told him, "Perform this… Community Service for us for a certain amount of time and we'll forget all of this ever happens. Does that sound fair, oh great Old One?"
"Wait, it worked?" He thought out silently in surprise before he nodded, refusing to let this chance go. "I'm just an honest, law abiding frog. I swear on my mama's grave!" He told them.
The man's slimy grin widened at his words as he gave him a pat on the chest. "I'm glad that you're actually quite reasonable," He praised him, "You know, you're far more reasonable than dealing with the imperium. Nasty Mon'keigh, I assure you, you don't want to meet them."
Was he talking about the Imperium of Man? He chose to keep mum about his encounter as he nodded along, letting the man go on. Best not to interrupt an officer even if they did sound dumb and a bit of an ass.
"For being such a good boy, why don't I throw in a bonus as well," The man then added, making his brow quirk. "Complete the community service you owe Commaragh and I'll see to it that you won't have to pay us for the favor of healing your dearest companion!" He offered. That sounded… good, really good.
"Wait, you have hospitals?" He blurted out before he bit his tongue, catching himself on the nick of time. Backtracking on his faux paus, he explained, "Ah fuck, I meant, you have better hospitals than Ulthwé?" He hoped that their anger for that city outweighed their reason.
The man scoffed before letting out a chuckle, "Ulthwé could only dream of having the skills and talents of my dear city," The man crowed out, holding up his chin in pride. He nodded reluctantly at that. He at least sounded confident, but used car salesmen had that attitude.
"You see, Commaragh has the best healers around and we're more than equipped to handle sickness the likes of which that companion's currently experiencing…" The man then explained as he looked at his companion sadly, "Poor girl, must be suffering from quite the pox."
"Hey!" Red then snapped at him before Kermit sent a glare at him. He hushed him before looking at the man, gesturing for him to continue. Their good will was already being offered, Red was just being an ass.
Glaring at Red, the man thankfully turned back to him as he continued, "If you let us have a look at her, I'm sure we'll be able to find something to help with her current condition,"
"Huh, that doesn't sound half bad…" He said cautiously. It was certainly a good deal so far. Community service was way better than being forced to pay, because he doubted that his bank account would be able to pay for everything even if he had access to it.
"Hey!" Red cried out angry, buzzing even more frantically at him.
Frowning, he then said, "Wait…" Glaring at the man suspiciously, he then asked, "How long would this community service last?" He almost let himself get roped in a not so exact contract. He quickly gave Red a big thumbs up for his help. At least the sprite was still helpful in this situation.
Strangely, the sprite would cry out in frustration, "Hey!" Sometimes, he just didn't get the little guy, but maybe someday he'd be able to talk to them just as easily as he could do with this fine gentleman he was dealing with.
Said man grimaced as he waffled about before answering him, "Maybe about a week or so since we'll have to prepare a court big enough for you, you see," The answer wasn't as clear as he'd wanted but the mans assurance answered most of his worries, "You'll know it's about to end when we call you in for your court date. Yes, at most your sentence would be no more than a week."
"It's either that or we'll continue trying to kill you," The man then told him with a disturbingly cheery smile. Gesturing around them, the man reasoned, "You did invade our home after all, it's your fault you're here, so be a good man and take your punishment as is just."
For a moment, he considered his course of action. He could certainly just push them off and run, a plan that Red seemed all too eager to take as they shook their head, "Hey," but… he couldn't
"Does it look like I have a choice here? And the good man is offering us free health care!" He hissed back, "I admit, I'm not the smartest man around, but when someone says free healthcare, you grab it by the balls and never let it go." It was a really good deal, one that he was too afraid to let go. Atleast Red should see that he's doing this for the good of their elven companion.
"Hey," Red groaned out as he swooped down and started bowing. Heh, at least he had finally surrendered to his genius, though he was rather concerned with the banging the sprites forehead was causing down on the pavement.
Not wishing to have his companion hurt himself from awe, he quickly sealed the deal so they could wrap it all up. "Ok little man, I'll play ball," He told him as he extended his finger at the tiny little man.
"Good~" The man purred out as he reached out and shook his head; It was quite hard to tell given how tiny he was and how he could barely feel their touch on his fingers. "I'm sure we'll get well acquainted soon enough…"
The City of Commorragh burned, but now it was healing as a giant amphibian helped carry the materials to fix the brokens spires, bridges, and highways of the city. To the many slaves of Commaragh, this… creature might've just been a giant beast, but Vect knew all too well what he was dealing with. After all, it was not everyday that he had to deal with the legacy of the Old One's themselves.
"Vect, do you think this is wise?" A voice would call from the dark while he sat in his exquisitely groaning throne, watching the Old One's progress as they repaired the city. He refused to acknowledge the woman's presence, taking a sip from his cup as they continued, "That Tadpole might not be the sharpest tool of the lot, but do not forget the power they wield. If he finds out what you intend to do to him and his companion, it might not be pretty…"
Feeling a smile stretch across his face, one that hid the anger that bubbled up his chest, he finally replied, "Darling, relax~" Glaring at the woman who dared enter his sanctum unannounced, he then gritted out, "You know, I never underestimate my foe."
With a tap of his finger, he'd feel a shift in the air as a few secret entrances opened up. If this impudent woman felt it as well, she didn't let it show as she sauntered forward, headless of the danger. With her neon green hair and that infuriating smile, Vect found himself once more in the presence of none other than one his annoying rivals: Lady Malys.
"You say that but all you've shown so far is your willingness to gamble the very faith of our race to a chance," The woman fired back as she walked up to his music box before excusing herself, "Forgive me but I feel like some music would suit this time."
Feeling his eyes twitch at the cheerful and positively saccharine music she picked, one far better for the carnivals than his throne room, he reasoned,"Oh but this but a calculated risk, everything is,"
Keeping his features schooled, he continued, "That fool that played right into my hands might just be the most dangerous creature in this very galaxy, more than the golden fool, more than the four, and even perhaps the invaders from beyond," Even now, with the giant black and green collar the creature had, he could still feel their presence as if he was standing right in front of them.
"Just being in the mere presence of that slimy creature made me want to bow down and grovel, it's beyond us Dhrukari…" He hissed out, shivering in disgust as he felt his mask slip. How could he keep his composure when the bumbling fool had so much sway over him.
"We already have one mistress to please, having another being above us makes my blood boil," He sighed out as he swept his hands over his hair, letting his sharp nails provide him with pain to which he could center himself around with.
"That being is an Old One," The woman scoffed as she walked up beside him, joining him as both of them watched over his city's newest attraction. "I'm quite surprised that one of them is still kicking around. Makes you wonder what else from the olden days is just waiting to rear its head, no?" She teased.
"Bah, one powerful idiot is already bad enough, don't jinx it Lady Malys," He waved her off, refusing to entertain the idea. Just watching the giant scratch at their ass and their chains was already disgusting enough, but to have another around? He shivered at the mere thought of it. He'd rather get his soul ripped out by She Who Thirsts than deal with two of them! So much power, so little sense, it was a far deadlier combination than anything else in this galaxy.
"All that power in such an unpredictable piece, a disaster that's just waiting to happen, but I cannot, no, we cannot, as a species, let this opportunity pass, not when we can finally free ourselves from the shackles of the devourer." He grinned. Was he gloating? Yes? But was it fun? Most certainly.
"Oho? Now I'm listening," The woman replied as she walked up behind him and started massaging his shoulder.
Giving the woman an amused smile, he started explaining, "The plan's simple, really, we just have to torture the poor thing," He sighed out in pleasure, "Just a single cry of agony would be more than enough to power the entire city for untold ages… what more can you do if you turn them into a battery. To rip that power out from that vessel and use it for our purpose"
"I can already see it… their death throes mixed in with that useless goddess screaming exquisitely while we wiped the board clean," He laughed out. Who knew such opportunities would come stumbling into his lap. It was almost too good to be real but one look outside and he would be reminded that, indeed, he had an Old One as a willing prisoner.
"She can hear you, you know," Lady Malys reminded him as she walked away, holding herself as she hissed out, "All of them could."
For a moment, the lights in the room flickered as he felt gazes upon them. With a grin, he banished them away as he stood up, throwing out his hands and shouting, "Let her hear!"
Savoring the feeling of triumph, he laughed out, "It's not like she can do anything." Walking over to his display of artifacts, he continued, "The walls of the webway cannot be breached, and even the small foothold they have is far too small for them to exert their influence through," browsing through the selection, he continued, "As it stands, it's just a matter of time before I get to harvest that thing."
"And you think you can contain them for long?" Lady Malys challenged him, raising her fan to cover her lips as she sent a glare at him.
Smiling back confidently as he grabbed a box, he then answered, "They can't escape, not while I have this!" Opening the box, he fished out a simple looking key, one that took the breath of the woman as she stared at the ancient artifact. Turning around, he watched the woman at a loss for words for once.
Holding it aloft, both of them could feel and see a thin, almost invisible, strand of power thrumming as it reached out to the giant in the horizon, wrapping around their limbs, "As you can see, I have everything under control. It's a work of art, one that took quite a few tomb worlds to raid so I could barter with the Collector."
Shaking his head, he then told them, "Who knew a collar made for the anathema would work well for an old one?" But that was his greatest strength after all, changing his plans on the fly so that they would work with any situation.
"You do plan for everything," The woman praised, her eyes widening as she kept her gaze upon the before shutting her fan shut and letting her displeasure be seen. "But I still think this is an idiotic plan." The woman bluntly replied.
he gloated at her, "Do I smell jealousy~? He almost laughed then and there. To think that the woman who could rival his intellect could only warn him, trying to play with his hubris to throw him off. Did she think he's some low level peon who didn't know what they're doing?
"Hardly," The woman replied as all expressions fled from their face. Bowing lowly, the woman smirked at him as she excused herself, "I'll be taking my leave now. Enjoy your victory… but don't say I didn't warn you.~" With but a blink, the woman suddenly disappeared.
He stood there for a while, straining his ears as he waited for the infuriating beat of the woman to come back but, thankfully, she was truly gone. Snapping his fingers, the room's air returned back to its rightful state as he looked back at the giant as it clutched its wrist.
"That woman I swear, ruining the mood wherever she goes," He muttered before throwing the drink he had at this chair, smiling as they screamed from the acidic beverage splashing against theirs stretched out form, "Still, think of the positives Vect, think of the positives. To think that the last vestige of our creators just so happened to stumble right into my hands.~"
While he celebrated, the Lady laughed as she watched the giant try hiding the fact that they had accidentally broken through the chains that Vect gloated about. It's quite fortunate the the foolish boy turned at that very moment, "Ah Vect, ever the fool as always," She sighed out before turning to his companion, "Change of plans Tahril, we'll be meeting the giant in a few days time.~"
"As you wish my lady." The armored man who stood beside her bowed.
A/N:
Heh, technically Vect isn't lying when to what he offers. Commaragh does offer some of the best health care in the galaxy. Heck, didn't the Imperium once tried dealing with them to get the Emps back in order? Also, how can Kermit say no to someone offering free health care? Have you seen the cost of good insurance these days
. I don't want to remember to be honest haha....
Anyways, I'd like to thank @vyor making this possible. Praise be Vyor cause he's the one that reminds me that I'm not some two bit hack. Now if you want to support or want to read some fic chapters in advance, consider dropping by either Patreon or Ko-Fi. Without my patreons, I wouldn't have been able to write this.
Wincing in pain, he stood up and looked around. There before him was a city on fire. The spikes he saw from above turned out not to be mere deadly implements of impalement, but actual buildings, buildings that his surprisingly tough body had crushed.
For the first time ever since he'd arrived in the galaxy, he'd found a civilization. Unfortunately, its people were no bigger than ants to his eyes and he just so happened to do the metaphorical equivalent of stepping on their mound.
"Oh fuck, this does not look good…" He whispered as he bumped into a large tower behind him, toppling the spire into the web of delicate highways and bridges down below. He winced as he heard the screams that followed. "Oh shit, Where the fuck are we?" He asked, wondering where the hell they were now. He wished for a City but he didn't wish to be dropped on one! Well, beggars couldn't be choosers, he supposed.
Still, what terrible luck he had. Not only had he been carrying around a terribly sick elf and had been the caretaker of a constellation of stars, he now had a city to deal with. He knew his luck was already awful, but this was just the universe kicking him while his down!
"There's no need to panic, you can get through this, easy peasy," He laughed out nervously as he slapped his cheeks. He was a frog with an elf and a whole constellation of stars. He'd already escaped five terrible disasters, he can get through this!
"Hey!" Red frantically started nudging him, calling to his attention.
"Red, let me think!" He told him, pushing him aside as he clutched his head. Should he run? Should he stay and talk things out? All these thoughts running through him, but he couldn't find an answer, and it didn't help that Red would not stop bugging! "I said quiet it… ohh… oh fuck…" he snapped before trailing off as he saw that the inhabitants had come out in force.
Every street and avenue, every building that still stood, there were tiny little men and women all armed to the teeth with the sharpest and pointiest bits he had ever seen. From swords to guns and whip, they had it all. They even came with boats, floating boats with black gleaming globes of light all pointed at him. Strangely, they had light similar to some of his stars but they were far muted (or maybe contained) but that wasn't important right then.
"Hey!" Red blustered, swooping angrily at those that came near, and to his credit the forces held back, their leader (the one with the brightest light) screaming what he assumed was order. They were in a stalemate… but he was surrounded.
Not only was he in a dire situation, but so too was his elven companion curled up against his chest. It was just him, Red, his half eaten sandwich, the elf and all the stars he'd gathered so far. Thrust into such a dire situation, he squared himself up, threw his hands up before he shouted without hesitation, "I surrender!"
He was met with stunned silence as he felt all eyes on him. Did he say something wrong? "Hey!" Red thought so as he squeaked angrily at him.
"I know this doesn't look good! Just look at what I did!" He fired back before gesturing at the destruction he had caused. Toppled buildings, sections of the city on fire and what he assumed were explosions in the distance. He knew he landed hard, but he didn't expect to have landed this hard. "You think they'd let me go scot free?"
"Oh man oh man, what am I gonna do!?" He squeaked out, feeling the weight of the situation settle upon his amphibian shoulders. He was in deep shit and he knew it. What could he do? It wasn't not like he could just fix this… but what if he could? "Wait, I can fix this!"
"Hey!" His companion disagreed with him, and rather angrily at that.
"Look, what if I tried fixing things!" He told them as he slowly reached down to the spire of the building he had just knocked over. Ignoring the insistent nudging of his companion, he then said, "Man… this tower looks amazing and-ouch!" he winced, pulling back his hands as he noted, "rather pointy…" His actions were swiftly met with angry shrieks.
"Hey," His companion then chimed and he could feel the exasperation dripping off from the little sprite.
"Yes, I know this sounds dumb and it could be dangerous but can you atleast me try and work this out?" He hissed back, "I've been running non stop ever since I got here… talking it out would be a good change you know?" He said. Looking at the spiky ones, they might've looked a bit like the cenobites, but it wasn't like they'd be like that. That would just be too cliche and obvious, after all. They were probably the misunderstood type right?
"Plus, it's not like I can run, not with her on my hands!" He then added. Indeed, there was also the matter of his sick companion. He was basically encumbered and, from the looks of things, the city stretched from end to end of the tunnel. Speaking off… why the hell did the tunnels look a lot bigger? The tunnel's roof no longer dipped down to the top of his head. The portals, too, looked a bit bigger. Did he shrink? Maybe the tunnels in this area were just a lot bigger.
His companion, meanwhile, would just roll their eyes and sass back at him, telling him how misguided he was with his decisions, "Hey,"
"They're not like those four or that giant void beast," He argued before gesturing at all the buildings they had. From the looks of it, they looked like tiny elves… elves in BDSM outfits. Maybe it was a bit hot around here from time to time? "They have a city and stuff. They must at least be civilized right?"
"Hey!" His companion scoffed back.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, he then asked him, "Just trust me, ok?" He really didn't want to run anymore, not when he hadn't even tried talking things out.
Red would give him a look before he gave him his equivalent of throwing his hands up into the air and just resting on his shoulder. Taking it as a silent method of agreement, he then turned back to the angry mob that he had been ignoring.
"Ummm, hi! " He called out, trying to get their attention. "I think we started off on the wrong foot. How about I explain my side of things before you go and try to stab me, ok?" He tried reasoning with them and their angry cries quickly silenced as they looked at him. Good, he was getting somewhere.
"Ok, good. Glad we're all on the same page," He breathed out in relief as he looked around. Despite their tiny size, he could see their apprehension, maybe even feel it as he continued, "I'm really sorry about all this… but I'm kinda in an emergency?" He then raised his female companion, letting them all see her as he told them, "My friend, she's sick!"
There's a gasp from the crowd as he held her aloft. For a moment, the mob that had gathered faltered. Finally, he found people with a bit of compassion! He thought that sandwich guy was all there was in the Galaxy. "I'm really sorry about everything, but please, I don't mean you harm. In fact, I didn't even mean to stumble into your city!" He then told them, making a plea for forgiveness.
The cries of disbelief and anger that met him this time around were a bit softer and more subdued as the crowd murmured and talked to each other. He was getting through them! Taking this chance, he pressed on forward, "Look, I'm just a man… frog thing that's just walking around trying to find a place called the Craftworld Ulthaine," He told them, appealing to their need to see him gone this time around rather than their mercy, "If anyone here can point me to where that is, I'd be more than happy to get out of your hair."
Telling them where he was going might have not been the best idea as all the good will he might have created earlier melted away as anger once more replaced it. It was as if the mere mention of the craftsworlds name managed to rile them up? Did this place and Craftworld Ulthwé have a history together? That didn't matter now however as he still had a very, very angry crowd against him and one he needed to pacify now as they closed in.
"Uh bad history huh? Umm… uh…" He stumbled, thinking fast on what to do. If reasoning couldn't get through them, how about appeasement through gifts! Looking at the leftover sandwich he still had in hand, he quickly offered it up, "I can give you… oh fuck, this tiny bit of sandwich!" tossing them his left over around, he reasoned, "It's bigger than even some of your building!"
That was however met with a beam that promptly dissolved it to dust. That did not look good at all now that it was pointed at him. In one last bid to try and get them off his back, he picked up the tower spire he knocked over, ignoring the pain from doing so, and told them all, "Look! I can really try repairing the tower!"
Jumping up and grabbing the top of the tower, he hauled himself up before pressing the tower piece down. The sound of breaking glass did not sound good, but at least the tower was whole again, "See?" Or so he thought as the building started cracking "Oh fuck…"
Yelping in surprise, the building gave way as the floors pancaked atop each other, leaving a pile of rubble behind and him half buried in the mess. Groaning, he barely had time to react as the mob was on him, throwing ropes all over him while others tried stabbing him.
"Hey!" Red tried fighting them off, trying to ward them off, but his form seemed to just pass through them, becoming merely an annoyance to them all. Not even the stars that followed Red's lead could distract the crowd even as they actually pushed some off. Still, the crowd was relentless.
"Stop! No, wait!" He begged them, trying to push them off him without squishing them; a feat that was proving to be all but impossible. Cradling his elven companion closely, he told them "Just give me a chance! I really want to talk things out, but I can't understand you!"
As much as he pleaded, it was far too late. Bound to the ground with more people on him than he was comfortable with, he was now trapped. Any sudden movement would end in the death of many of them, not when they were too busy trying to cause him pain; a feat they were failing in every aspect.
He could hear their anger and their hate but their voices were just so teeny, he couldn't hear what they were saying exactly, "Look! I really want to help you guys but I can't understand you!" He blurted out, "All of you sound like you're squeaking like this!" In panic, let out a long series of squeaks that mimicked their cries, one that somehow made them all stop… in pain at least.
"The accent might be a bit off, but that's what you all sound to me," He then said as he laid down, just waiting for them to continue stabbing but this time, they didn't continue. In fact, they started talking to him.
He winced as he heard the telltale sign of a megaphone rang out across the city before a smooth, yet slimy voice started talking to him. "Testing, testing. Can you hear me?" The man asked.
"You can talk!" He cried out in surprise. Finally, he could understand them. "I'm sorry! I really didn't meat for this to happen!" As bad as things were, he didn't want to hurt them at all. "Please don't hurt my friends! I know they mean well, but they have nothing to do with this!" He apologized for Red and the lights even as Red cried out in anger.
"Of course we can talk, you buffoon! Why wouldn't wouldn't we be able to?" The man snapped back, insulted by his words. Turning his head towards the voice, he came face to face with a brightest light amongst the crowd, a malevolent looking spark within a tiny elf that looked akin to his companion, albeit several dozen times smaller, "After all, your kind made us!"
"My kind?" He choked out. Did they know what he had turned to? Were there people before him that also got sent to this dimension? "Wait, my friends! My companions, please!" He then begged once more, pushing away those attempting to grab the elf of his hands.
"Don't act like a fool, we know what you're here for!" The man snapped at him, suddenly appearing on his chest with a burst of light as they pointed a sword at him. "You're just here to finish the job, to wipe us all out for straying from your designs!" The man raved before letting out a bloodthirsty grin that sent shivers down his spine.
"Unfortunately for you my, Amphibian friend, the might of Commaragh will not be so easily broken!" The man gloated before turning to the army that surrounded them, "Bring out the Analizer!" He felt whatever resolve he had quickly wither in the vines as he unconsciously crossed his legs.
"Wait! Wait!" He cried out, "Before we bring out anything that might sodomize me, can we talk this out like honorable men and women?" he attempted once more. Yes he was down but let it not be said that he wasn't trying his damn hardest to deescalate the situation. He was the bigger man, he refused to stoop down to the level of barbarity.
There was a pause once more in the crowd as the man gave him a look, one that was asking if he was stupid. Seizing his chance, he blurted out, "I don't know anything about my kind, which kind sounds a bit racist, just to be clear!"
"Thank you," The man replied, smiling as if he had just been praised.
This left Kermit a bit aghast, but he quickly gathered himself. If he wanted to talk things out, he'd better work fast. SInce they could now talk, they could understand him "... but I didn't even know your city existed before I even got here!" He insisted once more.
Raising his hands appeasingly, snapping through the ropes they tossed at him with ease, he admitted, "Yes, I destroyed parts of your city but I didn't mean too," He reiterated, "Honestly!"
He could see that he had once again stunned them into silence. Taking his chance, he then offered an alternative, "Tell you what, why don't I do community service to pay off my debt…" He then trailed off as he looked down on his elven companion before continuing, "But right after I get my friend to a hospital because she's really, reallllyyyy sick." It was the same old spiel he'd made before, but he had a good feeling that this time around things would work.
There was a long pregnant silence between them and he winced, expecting the worst. That was until he heard the man burst into laughter, "You really intend on trying to be diplomatic, do you? Even when we have you on the ropes, you insist on trying to talk things out?" The man asked.
"Hey, so long as I can avoid bloodshed, I'll try to do anything," He replied. Violence must never be the first response he threw at a problem, not when he could still talk, and it was working. The man threw back his head and laughed some more. Nervously, he joined the man, laughing with him as well.
As the tiny man gathered his wits, he cleared his throat, silencing him as well as the rest of the mob that had started to whisper and mutter at their leaders (he assumed he was the leader at least) words. "You know what, let's do it," The man offered as he knelt on his chest and looked down on him, a feat he was in awe of. The man certainly had quite the presence. Waving his hands, he told him, "Perform this… Community Service for us for a certain amount of time and we'll forget all of this ever happens. Does that sound fair, oh great Old One?"
"Wait, it worked?" He thought out silently in surprise before he nodded, refusing to let this chance go. "I'm just an honest, law abiding frog. I swear on my mama's grave!" He told them.
The man's slimy grin widened at his words as he gave him a pat on the chest. "I'm glad that you're actually quite reasonable," He praised him, "You know, you're far more reasonable than dealing with the imperium. Nasty Mon'keigh, I assure you, you don't want to meet them."
Was he talking about the Imperium of Man? He chose to keep mum about his encounter as he nodded along, letting the man go on. Best not to interrupt an officer even if they did sound dumb and a bit of an ass.
"For being such a good boy, why don't I throw in a bonus as well," The man then added, making his brow quirk. "Complete the community service you owe Commaragh and I'll see to it that you won't have to pay us for the favor of healing your dearest companion!" He offered. That sounded… good, really good.
"Wait, you have hospitals?" He blurted out before he bit his tongue, catching himself on the nick of time. Backtracking on his faux paus, he explained, "Ah fuck, I meant, you have better hospitals than Ulthwé?" He hoped that their anger for that city outweighed their reason.
The man scoffed before letting out a chuckle, "Ulthwé could only dream of having the skills and talents of my dear city," The man crowed out, holding up his chin in pride. He nodded reluctantly at that. He at least sounded confident, but used car salesmen had that attitude.
"You see, Commaragh has the best healers around and we're more than equipped to handle sickness the likes of which that companion's currently experiencing…" The man then explained as he looked at his companion sadly, "Poor girl, must be suffering from quite the pox."
"Hey!" Red then snapped at him before Kermit sent a glare at him. He hushed him before looking at the man, gesturing for him to continue. Their good will was already being offered, Red was just being an ass.
Glaring at Red, the man thankfully turned back to him as he continued, "If you let us have a look at her, I'm sure we'll be able to find something to help with her current condition,"
"Huh, that doesn't sound half bad…" He said cautiously. It was certainly a good deal so far. Community service was way better than being forced to pay, because he doubted that his bank account would be able to pay for everything even if he had access to it.
"Hey!" Red cried out angry, buzzing even more frantically at him.
Frowning, he then said, "Wait…" Glaring at the man suspiciously, he then asked, "How long would this community service last?" He almost let himself get roped in a not so exact contract. He quickly gave Red a big thumbs up for his help. At least the sprite was still helpful in this situation.
Strangely, the sprite would cry out in frustration, "Hey!" Sometimes, he just didn't get the little guy, but maybe someday he'd be able to talk to them just as easily as he could do with this fine gentleman he was dealing with.
Said man grimaced as he waffled about before answering him, "Maybe about a week or so since we'll have to prepare a court big enough for you, you see," The answer wasn't as clear as he'd wanted but the mans assurance answered most of his worries, "You'll know it's about to end when we call you in for your court date. Yes, at most your sentence would be no more than a week."
"It's either that or we'll continue trying to kill you," The man then told him with a disturbingly cheery smile. Gesturing around them, the man reasoned, "You did invade our home after all, it's your fault you're here, so be a good man and take your punishment as is just."
For a moment, he considered his course of action. He could certainly just push them off and run, a plan that Red seemed all too eager to take as they shook their head, "Hey," but… he couldn't
"Does it look like I have a choice here? And the good man is offering us free health care!" He hissed back, "I admit, I'm not the smartest man around, but when someone says free healthcare, you grab it by the balls and never let it go." It was a really good deal, one that he was too afraid to let go. Atleast Red should see that he's doing this for the good of their elven companion.
"Hey," Red groaned out as he swooped down and started bowing. Heh, at least he had finally surrendered to his genius, though he was rather concerned with the banging the sprites forehead was causing down on the pavement.
Not wishing to have his companion hurt himself from awe, he quickly sealed the deal so they could wrap it all up. "Ok little man, I'll play ball," He told him as he extended his finger at the tiny little man.
"Good~" The man purred out as he reached out and shook his head; It was quite hard to tell given how tiny he was and how he could barely feel their touch on his fingers. "I'm sure we'll get well acquainted soon enough…"
The City of Commorragh burned, but now it was healing as a giant amphibian helped carry the materials to fix the brokens spires, bridges, and highways of the city. To the many slaves of Commaragh, this… creature might've just been a giant beast, but Vect knew all too well what he was dealing with. After all, it was not everyday that he had to deal with the legacy of the Old One's themselves.
"Vect, do you think this is wise?" A voice would call from the dark while he sat in his exquisitely groaning throne, watching the Old One's progress as they repaired the city. He refused to acknowledge the woman's presence, taking a sip from his cup as they continued, "That Tadpole might not be the sharpest tool of the lot, but do not forget the power they wield. If he finds out what you intend to do to him and his companion, it might not be pretty…"
Feeling a smile stretch across his face, one that hid the anger that bubbled up his chest, he finally replied, "Darling, relax~" Glaring at the woman who dared enter his sanctum unannounced, he then gritted out, "You know, I never underestimate my foe."
With a tap of his finger, he'd feel a shift in the air as a few secret entrances opened up. If this impudent woman felt it as well, she didn't let it show as she sauntered forward, headless of the danger. With her neon green hair and that infuriating smile, Vect found himself once more in the presence of none other than one his annoying rivals: Lady Malys.
"You say that but all you've shown so far is your willingness to gamble the very faith of our race to a chance," The woman fired back as she walked up to his music box before excusing herself, "Forgive me but I feel like some music would suit this time."
Feeling his eyes twitch at the cheerful and positively saccharine music she picked, one far better for the carnivals than his throne room, he reasoned,"Oh but this but a calculated risk, everything is,"
Keeping his features schooled, he continued, "That fool that played right into my hands might just be the most dangerous creature in this very galaxy, more than the golden fool, more than the four, and even perhaps the invaders from beyond," Even now, with the giant black and green collar the creature had, he could still feel their presence as if he was standing right in front of them.
"Just being in the mere presence of that slimy creature made me want to bow down and grovel, it's beyond us Dhrukari…" He hissed out, shivering in disgust as he felt his mask slip. How could he keep his composure when the bumbling fool had so much sway over him.
"We already have one mistress to please, having another being above us makes my blood boil," He sighed out as he swept his hands over his hair, letting his sharp nails provide him with pain to which he could center himself around with.
"That being is an Old One," The woman scoffed as she walked up beside him, joining him as both of them watched over his city's newest attraction. "I'm quite surprised that one of them is still kicking around. Makes you wonder what else from the olden days is just waiting to rear its head, no?" She teased.
"Bah, one powerful idiot is already bad enough, don't jinx it Lady Malys," He waved her off, refusing to entertain the idea. Just watching the giant scratch at their ass and their chains was already disgusting enough, but to have another around? He shivered at the mere thought of it. He'd rather get his soul ripped out by She Who Thirsts than deal with two of them! So much power, so little sense, it was a far deadlier combination than anything else in this galaxy.
"All that power in such an unpredictable piece, a disaster that's just waiting to happen, but I cannot, no, we cannot, as a species, let this opportunity pass, not when we can finally free ourselves from the shackles of the devourer." He grinned. Was he gloating? Yes? But was it fun? Most certainly.
"Oho? Now I'm listening," The woman replied as she walked up behind him and started massaging his shoulder.
Giving the woman an amused smile, he started explaining, "The plan's simple, really, we just have to torture the poor thing," He sighed out in pleasure, "Just a single cry of agony would be more than enough to power the entire city for untold ages… what more can you do if you turn them into a battery. To rip that power out from that vessel and use it for our purpose"
"I can already see it… their death throes mixed in with that useless goddess screaming exquisitely while we wiped the board clean," He laughed out. Who knew such opportunities would come stumbling into his lap. It was almost too good to be real but one look outside and he would be reminded that, indeed, he had an Old One as a willing prisoner.
"She can hear you, you know," Lady Malys reminded him as she walked away, holding herself as she hissed out, "All of them could."
For a moment, the lights in the room flickered as he felt gazes upon them. With a grin, he banished them away as he stood up, throwing out his hands and shouting, "Let her hear!"
Savoring the feeling of triumph, he laughed out, "It's not like she can do anything." Walking over to his display of artifacts, he continued, "The walls of the webway cannot be breached, and even the small foothold they have is far too small for them to exert their influence through," browsing through the selection, he continued, "As it stands, it's just a matter of time before I get to harvest that thing."
"And you think you can contain them for long?" Lady Malys challenged him, raising her fan to cover her lips as she sent a glare at him.
Smiling back confidently as he grabbed a box, he then answered, "They can't escape, not while I have this!" Opening the box, he fished out a simple looking key, one that took the breath of the woman as she stared at the ancient artifact. Turning around, he watched the woman at a loss for words for once.
Holding it aloft, both of them could feel and see a thin, almost invisible, strand of power thrumming as it reached out to the giant in the horizon, wrapping around their limbs, "As you can see, I have everything under control. It's a work of art, one that took quite a few tomb worlds to raid so I could barter with the Collector."
Shaking his head, he then told them, "Who knew a collar made for the anathema would work well for an old one?" But that was his greatest strength after all, changing his plans on the fly so that they would work with any situation.
"You do plan for everything," The woman praised, her eyes widening as she kept her gaze upon the before shutting her fan shut and letting her displeasure be seen. "But I still think this is an idiotic plan." The woman bluntly replied.
he gloated at her, "Do I smell jealousy~? He almost laughed then and there. To think that the woman who could rival his intellect could only warn him, trying to play with his hubris to throw him off. Did she think he's some low level peon who didn't know what they're doing?
"Hardly," The woman replied as all expressions fled from their face. Bowing lowly, the woman smirked at him as she excused herself, "I'll be taking my leave now. Enjoy your victory… but don't say I didn't warn you.~" With but a blink, the woman suddenly disappeared.
He stood there for a while, straining his ears as he waited for the infuriating beat of the woman to come back but, thankfully, she was truly gone. Snapping his fingers, the room's air returned back to its rightful state as he looked back at the giant as it clutched its wrist.
"That woman I swear, ruining the mood wherever she goes," He muttered before throwing the drink he had at this chair, smiling as they screamed from the acidic beverage splashing against theirs stretched out form, "Still, think of the positives Vect, think of the positives. To think that the last vestige of our creators just so happened to stumble right into my hands.~"
While he celebrated, the Lady laughed as she watched the giant try hiding the fact that they had accidentally broken through the chains that Vect gloated about. It's quite fortunate the the foolish boy turned at that very moment, "Ah Vect, ever the fool as always," She sighed out before turning to his companion, "Change of plans Tahril, we'll be meeting the giant in a few days time.~"
"As you wish my lady." The armored man who stood beside her bowed.
A/N:
Heh, technically Vect isn't lying when to what he offers. Commaragh does offer some of the best health care in the galaxy. Heck, didn't the Imperium once tried dealing with them to get the Emps back in order? Also, how can Kermit say no to someone offering free health care? Have you seen the cost of good insurance these days
. I don't want to remember to be honest haha....Anyways, I'd like to thank @vyor making this possible. Praise be Vyor cause he's the one that reminds me that I'm not some two bit hack. Now if you want to support or want to read some fic chapters in advance, consider dropping by either Patreon or Ko-Fi. Without my patreons, I wouldn't have been able to write this.
Chapter 3
- Location
- A Tropical Island in the Pacific
The Prisons of Commorragh
Maybe getting himself imprisoned might have not been the brightest idea. He could have fled instead but, then again, that would mean getting chased and he was tired of getting chased. He just wanted to rest so he gave himself up. Unfortunately, he didn't account for his friends being placed in separate cells… or being assigned to a separate working area.
"Lonely Frog in the Webway,~" He sang his working song as he swung his pick against the strange fabric of the webway, "Doing my time!" The strange pick bit down hard, shattering the walls and tearing chunks out with each hit.
He had expected to be thrown in some cell, but he didn't quite expect to be used for manual labor. At least his friends weren't here with him as Red was in an actual cell while his fairy friend was being looked after. He didn't like how all of them got separated, but he chose not to complain.
His stars were a different matter. Since they were quite attached to him and they buzzed rather angrily when his wardens tried taking them away to a holding locker, they stayed. He was quite grateful for that as they provided him with all the light he'd ever need, especially in this dark cave he'd been carving.
"Toiling away at the mines, for my crime,~" He continued singing as he worked all day. It was tiring work but seeing the excitement of these… Dhrukari, as they called themselves, as he made them a path to somewhere, it seemed that he was doing good.
It was a busy work area with ships hauling out the debris he made as well as ferrying in water and food for him. It was easy enough and he wouldn't have minded if he was allowed a few short breaks here and there. Resting his pickaxe and wiping the sweat off his forehead, he gasped out, "Phew, this is tiring work."
Unfortunately for him, his warden didn't quite appreciate how tiring this was. He jumped in surprise as the cracking of a bullwhip snapped just beside his ears. "Hey! No Slacking!" The not so nice elf shouted. He never hit him, but he would have liked it if he just calmed down a bit.
"Yeah yeah, just let me stretch a bit," He replied as he rolled his hips and pushed against his aching back. He grunted as he felt his sore back and aching muscle now making themselves known. His noodle arms were not made for manual labor, despite there being tools big enough to fit in his hands. "Oof, that does not feel good," He then said as he lifted up his pick and continued mining away.
Adjusting the collar he wore, making sure it wasn't going to come off any minute now, he then glanced towards his captor. He observed them to pass the time. Like all the other elves, he had this same bright aura, similar to his stars but far more muted and dirty. There was also that faint trail that seemed to leak out of them towards the city; like the very light out of them was getting sucked out.
He should probably point that out at some point but, then again, they seemed advanced enough with their fancy hover technology. They should know this right? He had so many questions to ask them now. From their strange auras to what they knew about whatever he was. Were there people just like him before?
He shook his head. Maybe there were just some questions he'd have to let go of, especially since these people did not look nice now that he had a good look at them. Did they ask the Cenobites for their fashion sense? So spiky and edgy, he swore he could cut himself.
"Eh, as long we're getting fed here…" He shrugged. It was not in the position to criticize their fashion sense…given his lack of pants. Scratching that annoying itch he had on his ass that refused to go away, he then noted, "Though I'm mildly concerned by the slimy texture of the meal. Still ok I guess?"
"What did I just say?!" His warden once more shouted, whipping at the air to emphasize his point.
"Alright alright, I'm going…" He muttered as he continued his boring work. He hated the work, but he reminded himself that this was all for his little friend's sake. "Just a few weeks, all of this will be over."
He worked for what felt like an eternity but, finally, he was ushered back to the city. Surrounded by escorts, he was made to walk down the street towards the large, box-like building. This building of blackened stone was to be his prison.
Like almost everything in the city, it was covered in spikes but, strangely, these spikes looked like they were tacked on rather than built with the building. Weirdly enough, the building was big enough to be his house. Even the door to the building was just the right size for him as it dwarfed the elves pulling it open.
Speaking about the elves, they'd come in droves, watching and pointing at him as he walked by. It seemed that he had become quite the spectacle. That was to be expected, seeing how he towered about them. What he didn't expect was that the elves brought with them non-elves.
They came in colors of all manners, some similar to the stars he carried like bright white ones in the form of healthier looking elves but, somehow, the light they had felt… muted; like the colors were drained out of them. They were not like the manner of the Dhrukari which were being drained, they looked dirty or, rather, bruised. The collars some sported did not fill him with confidence. Maybe they just used prison labor on every facet of society?
Whatever it was, he did not like it, but what could he do? It wasn't like he's some god that could force them to change their ways. Maybe this wasn't slavery. He just had to hope it wasn't for everyone's sake.
Entering the large box-like building, he found himself surrounded by rows upon rows of cells stacked upon each other; each containing quite the vicious collection of criminals. They looked… angry, they felt angry; he could practically taste it, this spicy feeling of hate and vitriol. It was not a pleasant feeling to taste. Strangely, there were stray stars inside this building which soon joined his collection. That was a plus, right?
"Back to your cell! Move it!" His warden shouted at him, urging forward as he grabbed the star closely.
As he was the biggest inmate, he had the biggest cell. With thick doors with just a small slit to see through, it was quite the menacing sight. As it opened, he was quickly disappointed. With such a big door, he would have expected a bigger room; not a closet that was barely big enough for clothes.
It was an uncomfortable, claustrophobic event to be forced inside. Couldn't they have made a bigger cell for him? Then again, his incarceration was just temporary. Why would they build something his size? But given they had tools fit for his hands…
He threw his hands up at that. He was already tired and he didn't have the energy to even complain at this point. Entering the cell, he sighed out in relief as finally, he could rest his weary legs. As the doors were slammed shut behind him, he found himself alone in the dark with nothing but his stars to serve as his light.
Choosing a corner to lay against, he then whispered, "Finally, a place to sleep…"
It was a long day, but it was a fruitful one. He was a prisoner, yes, but he wasn't stuck in a dingy cell all day, he had something to do. It was boring, tedious, work, but looking on the bright side it was one step closer to paying off all the damages he cost and it was a very productive way at that!
"I wonder what we'll be having for dinner," He laughed out before he trailed off. It wasn't quite the same without red. Despite the chaoticness of his journey into this hellscape of a galaxy, Red had always been there to keep him company. Without him, he felt just as alone as he was stuck on that black planet. "It's just a week anyways, I'll get to see them after all this is over," He reminded himself once more.
His words of encouragement to himself however would be met with mocking laughter. Sitting up, he looked around trying to find the source. Whoever was laughing, he was quite close. "Whose there? I'm armed!" he shouted as he pulled out the broken collar he had been wearing and wielded it as a makeshift knuckle duster.
"You're awfully cheerful for a prisoner of Commorragh," A deep booming voice spoke out, "And quite big as well. Didn't know they made slave collars that big," The voice pointed out, making him look uncomfortably down at his collar. So those were slaves… had he been imprisoned by slavers?
Before he could even process it all, they would soon be interrupted by the warden. "Dinner Time!" The elf shouted as the door hinges squeaked out in protest. Hastily placing the collar back on, he tucked himself in the corner before waving at the party bringing him food.
"Heya guys, didn't know I'd be bunking in with someone else," He told them, making the bewildered warden and his entourage freeze. Pulling out their weapons, they looked around, as if expecting to fight for their dear lives.
"Someone else? No one's in this cell, at least anyone alive that is," The man laughed nervously as he looked around, pausing as they strained their ear before they all let out a collective sigh of relief, "What do you wish to accomplish about bringing up such stories, Old One? What use is it to bring up such a being?"
"Geez, I didn't mean to scare you," He apologized, "Can I switch cells perhaps? I really do not like having to share a cell with a ghost!"
"We are not scared!" The elf exclaimed before grimacing, "But that thing, that mon'kaigh we kept here was a savage, a brutal one. Ripped the throat out of one of my boys so we just stopped coming here."
Shaking his head, the man then told him "That prisoner is dead, you understand? I will have no more talk about dead mon'keigh!" Grinning up at him the man then started mocking him, "And the last Old One, scared of some ghost? Hah! You are… what they say is 'projecting', no?"
A bit rude, but Kermit chose not to speak. He'd heard and watched plenty enough shows to tell him that those working in prison can be quite abusive when they want to. He just had to lay his head down low for now.
"Man up, you're a Old One, yes?" The man scolded him as he motioned for a ship dragging a barge filled to the brim with food. Looking at the dinner sized portion presented to him, he felt his mouth start to water. "So much for our creator," The elf scoffed as the barge was cut off, dropping down to the ground with a heavy clang.
As the warden was about to leave, he then called out, "Um, wait!" The man paused, looking back at him, "My friends, Red and the Fairy Lady, are they ok?" While he needed to lay low, the state of his friends were far more important than any short term comfort.
The elf had a look of confusion in their face before they let out an amused snort. "The red one's a fellow prisoner, you know," Pointing at a shaking box outside, he added, "Lively one, that mon-keigh."
Rubbing his chin, he then said, "As for Lady Isha? Last I heard, she's doing quite well! For a goddess with all the plagues of Nurgle, she's quite resilient. You're a lucky god to have carried her to us, gotta tell you that." Pounding his chest, the man claimed, "If you can trust one thing about us, then it's piecing things back together."
Letting out a toothy smile, the man then said, "It ain't fun if your toys are broken after all." Before he could even respond, the man already motioned for the doors to close. "Lights out Old One, time for bed!"
"Hey wait, I still have questions!" He called out only for the door to get slammed closed on his face. Old One this and god that, they seemed to know what he had become. Those titles sounded a bit… presumptuous, to say the least. There was also the matter of his little ghost friends… one he shared a cell with… in this dark and creepy room.
"Umm…" he swallowed thickly, "Nice ghostie… I didn't mean to threaten you! I was just shocked, that's all!" Maybe jumping straight to threatening someone wasn't the best idea.
There was silence and for a moment, he lowered his guard. Maybe he had just hallucinated it. The room was just so bare that maybe he thought someone else was there with him. That was until the voice laughed once more, "Hah, I'm no more a ghost than my brothers. Not yet, at least."
"Where are you? Show yourself!" He called out, "I don't trust that you're not a ghost!" He didn't like ghosts, not one bit. He was just a simple man and having to experience the supernatural is just way too much.
"You might want to look up." The man replied, making him turn his head upward.
"Gah!" he exclaimed, jumping up in surprise as a bright white light suddenly came crashing down in front of him. The figure crouched low, landing in a perfect 3 point kneel like in one of those movies. How the man hid himself while being that bright, he did not know, but one thing was for certain, "Wow… you really have made quite the entrance huh?"
The man stood up and smiled back at him. With his stark white hair tied to a top knot, his flowing fu manchu and his rusted, yet finely made armor, he struck quite the wizened old figure, like a general of old standing before him, not as an actor in some video but as a man.
"I assure you, great spirit, that I am no ghost," The man assured him as he sat down. Patting the ground in front of him, the man then told him. "You probably have a lot of things that you want answered about this city. If so, come, sit. We have much to talk about."
With such a striking figure asking him to sit down with him for a chat, how could he not oblige? He at least looked like the guy that had plenty of stories to tell. How could he not sit down with the Genghis Khan look alike?
A proper meal after what felt like days of running made even the most unappetizing of dishes taste amazing. Gobbling up the ground up mush with his properly sized spoon, he ate like there was no tomorrow. "This looks disgusting, but man!" He exclaimed as he smacked his lips and pat his stomach, "Yeah, this hits the spot. Damn, I miss getting to eat out like a pig."
Chuckling at him, the man told him, "I heard that the Old Ones could be quite fearsome to look at, but maybe those ancient historians were talking about your appetite!"
"Hey, you'd pig out too if you hadn't eaten in ages," He fired back as he felt his cheeks heat up. He wasn't usually like that, but he had been starving. He had an amazing sandwich but that was it. Now, he had an actual meal.
The man shook his head before shifting in his seat. Taking on a more relaxed stance, he then asked him, "Pardon my curiosity, but would you mind if you answer some of my questions before I answer yours?"
The man did say he could answer his questions and a question for a question seemed fair enough. He nodded easily as he gestured for him to fire away, "Shoot."
"So, how did they catch you, my dear froggy friend?" He asked as he stroked his beard, "Some terrible weapon perhaps? A new champion for their accursed race? A power that they had brokered with the terrible beings that lived in the warp for?"
"Woah there, you're getting a bit spicy there with the xenophobia," He told him. The man definitely sounded like he hated the elves.
"Oh they're terrible. If they weren't then my people wouldn't have been at war with them for so long! These terrible, sadistic elves, once I get out of here!" He shook his head as he clenched his fist. Taking in a deep breath, he then let out a sigh, "It's just been so long since I've last seen the greater galaxy. A younger, more foolish, version of myself ran head straight into trouble."
"But enough about myself," Looking back at him, he pressed on, "They must have done something quite terrible to have you put that slave collar back on." Observing his collar, the man then noted, "I never knew they made collars that big, but the more you know."
Kermit rubbed the back of his neck as he replied with great shame. "Would it be anti-climatic if it was because I accidentally set parts of their city on fire?"
The man slowly smiled as he continued, "It was a terrible mistake on my part. Panicked when I crash landed, so now here I am, just a frog doing my time."
"There is no shame in destroying the slavers' homes and their livelihood," The man stoically replied, approving of the destruction that he caused.
"Hey, these people have families," He argued. They might've been terrible people, most likely, but they are still people. Tugging at his collar, he then told him, "And it's not a slave collar. This is just what they give to prisoners. Look, you even got one on yourself." The excuse felt weak, but he chose to believe that there is good in all people, even these elves.
Nodding, he then pointed out, "You don't look much like a slave from the way guards speak about around you." The sheer terror he inspired, despite looking like someones grandfather, he must be quite the hardcore prisoner. "You must be the big shot here, the biggest guy on the block!" He then added as he poked at him.
The man huffed as he looked away but he could not hide that prideful smile he sported, "The guards know better than to mess with me," The man told him before scowling, "They got lucky one time. I could have taken them if I wasn't drunk!"
"Hah, I knew it!" He exclaimed. He was definitely the local tough guy. Setting down his bowl, he then told him, "Makes me feel a bit safer now that I know the big guy in the block is a nice guy."
This made the man laugh. Wiping his tears, the man then said, "I like you Frog Man," looking up at him, the man then said, "Your not half bad for a strange human,"
"Wait, wait, wait," Kermit exclaimed as he raised his hand, "You know?" He asked, his eyes widening in surprise. Did he know that he was not some frog originally? Had he finally met someone that saw him as what he was, just a simple man?
"Of course," The man nodded, confirming his suspicion. With glowing eyes, he looked at him and through him as he started describing him, "Underneath all the shining green radiance, I see a man, an Innocent Man trapped in the prison of the most brutal race in the galaxy."
"If not for your tough body, they would have ripped you apart and made you into their newest art piece." The man pointed out.
"Finally! Someone who knows what I am!" He exclaimed. He could finally have some answers. He finally met someone that might have a clue on what caused his current condition. Leaning down closely, he then asked him, "Are you some kind of psychic?"
Blinking away the light off his eyes, the man then replied every so enigmatically, "You can say that."
"Wow… what I'd do to have powers like you," He sighed out. He took back his words, he wanted to experience the supernatural if it meant he could have what he had. Glowing eyes, soul seeing, possibly even mind reading. He wondered how many people would want to have powers like what this man possessed.
"Trust me big man, you'd rather not… but from the way you are, it's probably not for you to decide," The old man replied wearily, his youthful vigor losing its shine as he appeared as what he was, an old man in a suit of armor. Laughing and waving off his concern, the man then said, "I can see why these bastards chose to keep you alive for now, they probably don't even know how to pierce your skin yet, much less all that soul stuff you have on you!"
"They're not that bad…" He defended the elves. Lifting up the barge of gruel he was given, he then said, "They wouldn't have bothered feeding me a bowl big enough for my stomach." It was a simple meal but the fact they bothered to make enough for him speaks well about their character. They did care… maybe?
Looking at the man, he noticed he was rather thin looking. "Speaking off, want some?" he then offered. He already had a bite and the man could use a spoonful or two. Besides, it's not like he didn't have enough for seconds. He had plenty enough for himself.
The man paused, looking at the meal, before sighing, "While I do not trust the Dhrukari… I've seen you eat enough that if it's poisoned with whatever foul sorcery they have, you would have died several times over." Kermit had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. The man sure could be quite stubborn and prideful, probably something someone developed in prison.
He had to pinch off a bit of the boat, the metal between his fingers feeling more like aluminum foil than actual metal. Forming a small plate for the man, he then gave him as much slop as his plate could handle. Despite the pile of food being as big as he was, he easily lifted up. Giving him an appreciative nod, he thanked him, "Many blessings to you, Old One."
"It's funny how people keep calling me that," He sighed out as he raved, "Old One this, Old One that. I'm 30 years old damn it! I wasn't even balding… well now I am…" Rubbing his bare head, he wondered if he'll ever have hair. He really liked having hair.
The man chuckled as he replied. "It's because you are one now. From human to an Old One, yet you are still yourself. It's quite interesting really. Normally, someone would go mad, but you are still you," Musing aloud, he then added, "Maybe there is wisdom that people with simple minds are blessed."
He didn't know what that meant, but he'd take it as a compliment, "Thank you."
The man gave him a look before shrugging. "As for what they are, they're a precursor race, beings that came before everyone else," He explained, telling him in great detail of what he was, "Few know what they truly are, but if there's one thing about them sets them apart from everyone else, then it is their power. They are powerful beings, far stronger than most mortals. Dare I say that they would make my fathers light small in comparison."
"Seeding life across the galaxy, they tended to it as gardeners would, until they vanished. Nobody knows exactly what happened, but they are no longer with us. Their works and the effects of their actions, however, can still be seen to this day," He continued as his brow scrunched up, "From the books my brothers kept, some say that Humanity was influenced by them, or even created by them, but I simply don't see it. We came from far more humble beginnings and it served us well, allowing us to adapt while the Aeldari and Dhrukari decay."
"If no one knows what they are nor what happened to them, why do you think I'm an Old One?" He asked him.
The man simply stared back at him as he replied, "Because you hurt my mind's eye by simply looking at your direction. Your presence is like staring into the sun."
"Huh, neat," He replied as he looked down on himself. He was a bit on the bright shade of green but he wasn't that bright, right? "I'll try to hide my radiance?"
"I should teach you how to, but, for now, let me eat," He replied with a soft smile, "Why, if I remember correctly, I haven't eaten in a thousand years!"
"For a man starving, you look awfully spry," He replied as he continued eating as well. The meal was tasty but with someone else, it felt more filling.
As the man took his first bite, he noted, "They actually fed you real food," Savoring a few more bites, he turned back towards him before warning him, "Don't think of this as kindness, however, see it more as what it is, a pragmatic way to keep you in place while they decide on what to do with you."
Scowling, he continued, "Mark my words, our wardens are nothing more than animals wearing clothes." He just nodded along at this point, ignoring the man's racist rants for the most part, "Barbaric beasts, the lot of them,"
"Harsh, but it's not hard to see why you don't like them," He empathized with him. From the words of his jailor, they basically left the man to die. In his opinion, that was a pretty dick move. Yes, he was a bit spicy about his racism, but it must've been borne out of experience from a few bad apples, "With the starvation and all…"
"It's the least of what they've done," The man muttered before silence descended between them. He honestly felt bad about the man. He looked so bitter and broken. Who knows how long he had been in there and he sounded so nice…
"You know… after I do my community service I'll be free to go, which is about in a week's time. Maybe I could sneak you out? They think you're dead after all," He offered. He'd probably suffered enough and he didn't sound that bad.
"Just lay off on the racism?" He chuckled, knowing full well that he probably hated them too much to do so, "And it's not like they're all bad, They even got to help heal my companion… though I'm not sure why they trapped Red in a box," He mused out as he laid down his plate and got up.
Walking up towards the door and peering out of the tiny slit, he sighed out, "He's obnoxious and all, but he's fun to be around." Yes, he could be annoying and pushy, but he had been his companion all that time. Through thick and thin, he was there with him. "I miss that cyclops…"
"Wait, Red Cyclops…" The man called out to him, "Sounds Smarmy, a bit of a know it all and all too happy to tell you what you did wrong while being condescending about it?" He then described Red and he couldn't help but laugh at how accurate he was.
"Yeah! He sounds exactly like that," He chuckled, shaking his head at how he simply nailed the mute red sprite. "He's this small and more of a floating head than anything else. I'm still surprised that you can have much ego in such a small package,"
"Hah!" The man roared out laughing just as he finished his plate. "Seems like the shard of my little brother finally came around. About time he showed up. It seems like it's finally time," He then told him ever so enigmatically.
"Wait, what do you mean by that?" he asked, wondering what was that all about.
"You'll know when you see it, young frog, you'll know," The man answered him with a mysterious smile across his face. "Best you rest for now though. Didn't you say you have a court meeting in a few days time?" He told him.
"Ah right right, need to keep myself well for that date," He nodded, "Don't want to be half asleep when I face the judge after all." Being half awake sounded like a recipe for disaster.
Walking back to his corner and laying, he yawned out. It'd been a long day, and sleep sounded like a great idea. Just as he was about to close his eyes, he remembered something. "Oh yeah, one last thing," He called out before asking him, "Haven't really told you my name, have I?"
"You have not, young Frog," The man replied, looking at him curiously as he too laid down.
Extending a hand, or rather a finger, for a handshake, "The names Kermit, nice to meet you."
The man looked down on the hand before snorting in amusement as he grabbed it and shook. The old warrior definitely had quite the grip, he had to give him that. "I have many names, but the one many know me for is Jaghatai Khan," The man introduced himself, "Best to remember it for who knows, maybe you'll meet one of my sons,"
"I'll definitely remember that amazing name," He told him as he spoke out the warriors name, "Jaghatai Khan… sounds almost like that one Star Trek guy!" Chuckling at that little inside joke, he then apologized, "Anyways, sorry for bothering. Good night."
"Good night young tadpole," The man replied as the two rested.
Turning to his back and looking up at the dark ceiling above, he wondered what the future would bring. From getting chased across the stars to winding up in some fairy prison, his life had hit quite a strange but turn. Maybe this was all just a dream… but it was a good dream and he wished that he could keep on dreaming.
A/N:
Heh, seems like Kermit finds himself quite the famous prison cellmate. No one's going poke fun of Kermit with Jaghatai by his side! Kidding aside, Kermit's definitely quite happy to have another person to call his friend and what luck does he have with that man being the brother of his first friend. Quite the reunion really if not for the fact that this is just a shard of Magnus... definitely not going to be relevant later on
Anyways, I'd like to thank @vyor once more for making this possible. Praise be Vyor cause his magic hands make these chapters readable... you guys should definitely hire him for your work . Now if you want to support me or want to read some fic chapters in advance, consider dropping by either Patreon or Ko-Fi. Without my patreons, I wouldn't have been able to write this.
Maybe getting himself imprisoned might have not been the brightest idea. He could have fled instead but, then again, that would mean getting chased and he was tired of getting chased. He just wanted to rest so he gave himself up. Unfortunately, he didn't account for his friends being placed in separate cells… or being assigned to a separate working area.
"Lonely Frog in the Webway,~" He sang his working song as he swung his pick against the strange fabric of the webway, "Doing my time!" The strange pick bit down hard, shattering the walls and tearing chunks out with each hit.
He had expected to be thrown in some cell, but he didn't quite expect to be used for manual labor. At least his friends weren't here with him as Red was in an actual cell while his fairy friend was being looked after. He didn't like how all of them got separated, but he chose not to complain.
His stars were a different matter. Since they were quite attached to him and they buzzed rather angrily when his wardens tried taking them away to a holding locker, they stayed. He was quite grateful for that as they provided him with all the light he'd ever need, especially in this dark cave he'd been carving.
"Toiling away at the mines, for my crime,~" He continued singing as he worked all day. It was tiring work but seeing the excitement of these… Dhrukari, as they called themselves, as he made them a path to somewhere, it seemed that he was doing good.
It was a busy work area with ships hauling out the debris he made as well as ferrying in water and food for him. It was easy enough and he wouldn't have minded if he was allowed a few short breaks here and there. Resting his pickaxe and wiping the sweat off his forehead, he gasped out, "Phew, this is tiring work."
Unfortunately for him, his warden didn't quite appreciate how tiring this was. He jumped in surprise as the cracking of a bullwhip snapped just beside his ears. "Hey! No Slacking!" The not so nice elf shouted. He never hit him, but he would have liked it if he just calmed down a bit.
"Yeah yeah, just let me stretch a bit," He replied as he rolled his hips and pushed against his aching back. He grunted as he felt his sore back and aching muscle now making themselves known. His noodle arms were not made for manual labor, despite there being tools big enough to fit in his hands. "Oof, that does not feel good," He then said as he lifted up his pick and continued mining away.
Adjusting the collar he wore, making sure it wasn't going to come off any minute now, he then glanced towards his captor. He observed them to pass the time. Like all the other elves, he had this same bright aura, similar to his stars but far more muted and dirty. There was also that faint trail that seemed to leak out of them towards the city; like the very light out of them was getting sucked out.
He should probably point that out at some point but, then again, they seemed advanced enough with their fancy hover technology. They should know this right? He had so many questions to ask them now. From their strange auras to what they knew about whatever he was. Were there people just like him before?
He shook his head. Maybe there were just some questions he'd have to let go of, especially since these people did not look nice now that he had a good look at them. Did they ask the Cenobites for their fashion sense? So spiky and edgy, he swore he could cut himself.
"Eh, as long we're getting fed here…" He shrugged. It was not in the position to criticize their fashion sense…given his lack of pants. Scratching that annoying itch he had on his ass that refused to go away, he then noted, "Though I'm mildly concerned by the slimy texture of the meal. Still ok I guess?"
"What did I just say?!" His warden once more shouted, whipping at the air to emphasize his point.
"Alright alright, I'm going…" He muttered as he continued his boring work. He hated the work, but he reminded himself that this was all for his little friend's sake. "Just a few weeks, all of this will be over."
He worked for what felt like an eternity but, finally, he was ushered back to the city. Surrounded by escorts, he was made to walk down the street towards the large, box-like building. This building of blackened stone was to be his prison.
Like almost everything in the city, it was covered in spikes but, strangely, these spikes looked like they were tacked on rather than built with the building. Weirdly enough, the building was big enough to be his house. Even the door to the building was just the right size for him as it dwarfed the elves pulling it open.
Speaking about the elves, they'd come in droves, watching and pointing at him as he walked by. It seemed that he had become quite the spectacle. That was to be expected, seeing how he towered about them. What he didn't expect was that the elves brought with them non-elves.
They came in colors of all manners, some similar to the stars he carried like bright white ones in the form of healthier looking elves but, somehow, the light they had felt… muted; like the colors were drained out of them. They were not like the manner of the Dhrukari which were being drained, they looked dirty or, rather, bruised. The collars some sported did not fill him with confidence. Maybe they just used prison labor on every facet of society?
Whatever it was, he did not like it, but what could he do? It wasn't like he's some god that could force them to change their ways. Maybe this wasn't slavery. He just had to hope it wasn't for everyone's sake.
Entering the large box-like building, he found himself surrounded by rows upon rows of cells stacked upon each other; each containing quite the vicious collection of criminals. They looked… angry, they felt angry; he could practically taste it, this spicy feeling of hate and vitriol. It was not a pleasant feeling to taste. Strangely, there were stray stars inside this building which soon joined his collection. That was a plus, right?
"Back to your cell! Move it!" His warden shouted at him, urging forward as he grabbed the star closely.
As he was the biggest inmate, he had the biggest cell. With thick doors with just a small slit to see through, it was quite the menacing sight. As it opened, he was quickly disappointed. With such a big door, he would have expected a bigger room; not a closet that was barely big enough for clothes.
It was an uncomfortable, claustrophobic event to be forced inside. Couldn't they have made a bigger cell for him? Then again, his incarceration was just temporary. Why would they build something his size? But given they had tools fit for his hands…
He threw his hands up at that. He was already tired and he didn't have the energy to even complain at this point. Entering the cell, he sighed out in relief as finally, he could rest his weary legs. As the doors were slammed shut behind him, he found himself alone in the dark with nothing but his stars to serve as his light.
Choosing a corner to lay against, he then whispered, "Finally, a place to sleep…"
It was a long day, but it was a fruitful one. He was a prisoner, yes, but he wasn't stuck in a dingy cell all day, he had something to do. It was boring, tedious, work, but looking on the bright side it was one step closer to paying off all the damages he cost and it was a very productive way at that!
"I wonder what we'll be having for dinner," He laughed out before he trailed off. It wasn't quite the same without red. Despite the chaoticness of his journey into this hellscape of a galaxy, Red had always been there to keep him company. Without him, he felt just as alone as he was stuck on that black planet. "It's just a week anyways, I'll get to see them after all this is over," He reminded himself once more.
His words of encouragement to himself however would be met with mocking laughter. Sitting up, he looked around trying to find the source. Whoever was laughing, he was quite close. "Whose there? I'm armed!" he shouted as he pulled out the broken collar he had been wearing and wielded it as a makeshift knuckle duster.
"You're awfully cheerful for a prisoner of Commorragh," A deep booming voice spoke out, "And quite big as well. Didn't know they made slave collars that big," The voice pointed out, making him look uncomfortably down at his collar. So those were slaves… had he been imprisoned by slavers?
Before he could even process it all, they would soon be interrupted by the warden. "Dinner Time!" The elf shouted as the door hinges squeaked out in protest. Hastily placing the collar back on, he tucked himself in the corner before waving at the party bringing him food.
"Heya guys, didn't know I'd be bunking in with someone else," He told them, making the bewildered warden and his entourage freeze. Pulling out their weapons, they looked around, as if expecting to fight for their dear lives.
"Someone else? No one's in this cell, at least anyone alive that is," The man laughed nervously as he looked around, pausing as they strained their ear before they all let out a collective sigh of relief, "What do you wish to accomplish about bringing up such stories, Old One? What use is it to bring up such a being?"
"Geez, I didn't mean to scare you," He apologized, "Can I switch cells perhaps? I really do not like having to share a cell with a ghost!"
"We are not scared!" The elf exclaimed before grimacing, "But that thing, that mon'kaigh we kept here was a savage, a brutal one. Ripped the throat out of one of my boys so we just stopped coming here."
Shaking his head, the man then told him "That prisoner is dead, you understand? I will have no more talk about dead mon'keigh!" Grinning up at him the man then started mocking him, "And the last Old One, scared of some ghost? Hah! You are… what they say is 'projecting', no?"
A bit rude, but Kermit chose not to speak. He'd heard and watched plenty enough shows to tell him that those working in prison can be quite abusive when they want to. He just had to lay his head down low for now.
"Man up, you're a Old One, yes?" The man scolded him as he motioned for a ship dragging a barge filled to the brim with food. Looking at the dinner sized portion presented to him, he felt his mouth start to water. "So much for our creator," The elf scoffed as the barge was cut off, dropping down to the ground with a heavy clang.
As the warden was about to leave, he then called out, "Um, wait!" The man paused, looking back at him, "My friends, Red and the Fairy Lady, are they ok?" While he needed to lay low, the state of his friends were far more important than any short term comfort.
The elf had a look of confusion in their face before they let out an amused snort. "The red one's a fellow prisoner, you know," Pointing at a shaking box outside, he added, "Lively one, that mon-keigh."
Rubbing his chin, he then said, "As for Lady Isha? Last I heard, she's doing quite well! For a goddess with all the plagues of Nurgle, she's quite resilient. You're a lucky god to have carried her to us, gotta tell you that." Pounding his chest, the man claimed, "If you can trust one thing about us, then it's piecing things back together."
Letting out a toothy smile, the man then said, "It ain't fun if your toys are broken after all." Before he could even respond, the man already motioned for the doors to close. "Lights out Old One, time for bed!"
"Hey wait, I still have questions!" He called out only for the door to get slammed closed on his face. Old One this and god that, they seemed to know what he had become. Those titles sounded a bit… presumptuous, to say the least. There was also the matter of his little ghost friends… one he shared a cell with… in this dark and creepy room.
"Umm…" he swallowed thickly, "Nice ghostie… I didn't mean to threaten you! I was just shocked, that's all!" Maybe jumping straight to threatening someone wasn't the best idea.
There was silence and for a moment, he lowered his guard. Maybe he had just hallucinated it. The room was just so bare that maybe he thought someone else was there with him. That was until the voice laughed once more, "Hah, I'm no more a ghost than my brothers. Not yet, at least."
"Where are you? Show yourself!" He called out, "I don't trust that you're not a ghost!" He didn't like ghosts, not one bit. He was just a simple man and having to experience the supernatural is just way too much.
"You might want to look up." The man replied, making him turn his head upward.
"Gah!" he exclaimed, jumping up in surprise as a bright white light suddenly came crashing down in front of him. The figure crouched low, landing in a perfect 3 point kneel like in one of those movies. How the man hid himself while being that bright, he did not know, but one thing was for certain, "Wow… you really have made quite the entrance huh?"
The man stood up and smiled back at him. With his stark white hair tied to a top knot, his flowing fu manchu and his rusted, yet finely made armor, he struck quite the wizened old figure, like a general of old standing before him, not as an actor in some video but as a man.
"I assure you, great spirit, that I am no ghost," The man assured him as he sat down. Patting the ground in front of him, the man then told him. "You probably have a lot of things that you want answered about this city. If so, come, sit. We have much to talk about."
With such a striking figure asking him to sit down with him for a chat, how could he not oblige? He at least looked like the guy that had plenty of stories to tell. How could he not sit down with the Genghis Khan look alike?
A proper meal after what felt like days of running made even the most unappetizing of dishes taste amazing. Gobbling up the ground up mush with his properly sized spoon, he ate like there was no tomorrow. "This looks disgusting, but man!" He exclaimed as he smacked his lips and pat his stomach, "Yeah, this hits the spot. Damn, I miss getting to eat out like a pig."
Chuckling at him, the man told him, "I heard that the Old Ones could be quite fearsome to look at, but maybe those ancient historians were talking about your appetite!"
"Hey, you'd pig out too if you hadn't eaten in ages," He fired back as he felt his cheeks heat up. He wasn't usually like that, but he had been starving. He had an amazing sandwich but that was it. Now, he had an actual meal.
The man shook his head before shifting in his seat. Taking on a more relaxed stance, he then asked him, "Pardon my curiosity, but would you mind if you answer some of my questions before I answer yours?"
The man did say he could answer his questions and a question for a question seemed fair enough. He nodded easily as he gestured for him to fire away, "Shoot."
"So, how did they catch you, my dear froggy friend?" He asked as he stroked his beard, "Some terrible weapon perhaps? A new champion for their accursed race? A power that they had brokered with the terrible beings that lived in the warp for?"
"Woah there, you're getting a bit spicy there with the xenophobia," He told him. The man definitely sounded like he hated the elves.
"Oh they're terrible. If they weren't then my people wouldn't have been at war with them for so long! These terrible, sadistic elves, once I get out of here!" He shook his head as he clenched his fist. Taking in a deep breath, he then let out a sigh, "It's just been so long since I've last seen the greater galaxy. A younger, more foolish, version of myself ran head straight into trouble."
"But enough about myself," Looking back at him, he pressed on, "They must have done something quite terrible to have you put that slave collar back on." Observing his collar, the man then noted, "I never knew they made collars that big, but the more you know."
Kermit rubbed the back of his neck as he replied with great shame. "Would it be anti-climatic if it was because I accidentally set parts of their city on fire?"
The man slowly smiled as he continued, "It was a terrible mistake on my part. Panicked when I crash landed, so now here I am, just a frog doing my time."
"There is no shame in destroying the slavers' homes and their livelihood," The man stoically replied, approving of the destruction that he caused.
"Hey, these people have families," He argued. They might've been terrible people, most likely, but they are still people. Tugging at his collar, he then told him, "And it's not a slave collar. This is just what they give to prisoners. Look, you even got one on yourself." The excuse felt weak, but he chose to believe that there is good in all people, even these elves.
Nodding, he then pointed out, "You don't look much like a slave from the way guards speak about around you." The sheer terror he inspired, despite looking like someones grandfather, he must be quite the hardcore prisoner. "You must be the big shot here, the biggest guy on the block!" He then added as he poked at him.
The man huffed as he looked away but he could not hide that prideful smile he sported, "The guards know better than to mess with me," The man told him before scowling, "They got lucky one time. I could have taken them if I wasn't drunk!"
"Hah, I knew it!" He exclaimed. He was definitely the local tough guy. Setting down his bowl, he then told him, "Makes me feel a bit safer now that I know the big guy in the block is a nice guy."
This made the man laugh. Wiping his tears, the man then said, "I like you Frog Man," looking up at him, the man then said, "Your not half bad for a strange human,"
"Wait, wait, wait," Kermit exclaimed as he raised his hand, "You know?" He asked, his eyes widening in surprise. Did he know that he was not some frog originally? Had he finally met someone that saw him as what he was, just a simple man?
"Of course," The man nodded, confirming his suspicion. With glowing eyes, he looked at him and through him as he started describing him, "Underneath all the shining green radiance, I see a man, an Innocent Man trapped in the prison of the most brutal race in the galaxy."
"If not for your tough body, they would have ripped you apart and made you into their newest art piece." The man pointed out.
"Finally! Someone who knows what I am!" He exclaimed. He could finally have some answers. He finally met someone that might have a clue on what caused his current condition. Leaning down closely, he then asked him, "Are you some kind of psychic?"
Blinking away the light off his eyes, the man then replied every so enigmatically, "You can say that."
"Wow… what I'd do to have powers like you," He sighed out. He took back his words, he wanted to experience the supernatural if it meant he could have what he had. Glowing eyes, soul seeing, possibly even mind reading. He wondered how many people would want to have powers like what this man possessed.
"Trust me big man, you'd rather not… but from the way you are, it's probably not for you to decide," The old man replied wearily, his youthful vigor losing its shine as he appeared as what he was, an old man in a suit of armor. Laughing and waving off his concern, the man then said, "I can see why these bastards chose to keep you alive for now, they probably don't even know how to pierce your skin yet, much less all that soul stuff you have on you!"
"They're not that bad…" He defended the elves. Lifting up the barge of gruel he was given, he then said, "They wouldn't have bothered feeding me a bowl big enough for my stomach." It was a simple meal but the fact they bothered to make enough for him speaks well about their character. They did care… maybe?
Looking at the man, he noticed he was rather thin looking. "Speaking off, want some?" he then offered. He already had a bite and the man could use a spoonful or two. Besides, it's not like he didn't have enough for seconds. He had plenty enough for himself.
The man paused, looking at the meal, before sighing, "While I do not trust the Dhrukari… I've seen you eat enough that if it's poisoned with whatever foul sorcery they have, you would have died several times over." Kermit had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. The man sure could be quite stubborn and prideful, probably something someone developed in prison.
He had to pinch off a bit of the boat, the metal between his fingers feeling more like aluminum foil than actual metal. Forming a small plate for the man, he then gave him as much slop as his plate could handle. Despite the pile of food being as big as he was, he easily lifted up. Giving him an appreciative nod, he thanked him, "Many blessings to you, Old One."
"It's funny how people keep calling me that," He sighed out as he raved, "Old One this, Old One that. I'm 30 years old damn it! I wasn't even balding… well now I am…" Rubbing his bare head, he wondered if he'll ever have hair. He really liked having hair.
The man chuckled as he replied. "It's because you are one now. From human to an Old One, yet you are still yourself. It's quite interesting really. Normally, someone would go mad, but you are still you," Musing aloud, he then added, "Maybe there is wisdom that people with simple minds are blessed."
He didn't know what that meant, but he'd take it as a compliment, "Thank you."
The man gave him a look before shrugging. "As for what they are, they're a precursor race, beings that came before everyone else," He explained, telling him in great detail of what he was, "Few know what they truly are, but if there's one thing about them sets them apart from everyone else, then it is their power. They are powerful beings, far stronger than most mortals. Dare I say that they would make my fathers light small in comparison."
"Seeding life across the galaxy, they tended to it as gardeners would, until they vanished. Nobody knows exactly what happened, but they are no longer with us. Their works and the effects of their actions, however, can still be seen to this day," He continued as his brow scrunched up, "From the books my brothers kept, some say that Humanity was influenced by them, or even created by them, but I simply don't see it. We came from far more humble beginnings and it served us well, allowing us to adapt while the Aeldari and Dhrukari decay."
"If no one knows what they are nor what happened to them, why do you think I'm an Old One?" He asked him.
The man simply stared back at him as he replied, "Because you hurt my mind's eye by simply looking at your direction. Your presence is like staring into the sun."
"Huh, neat," He replied as he looked down on himself. He was a bit on the bright shade of green but he wasn't that bright, right? "I'll try to hide my radiance?"
"I should teach you how to, but, for now, let me eat," He replied with a soft smile, "Why, if I remember correctly, I haven't eaten in a thousand years!"
"For a man starving, you look awfully spry," He replied as he continued eating as well. The meal was tasty but with someone else, it felt more filling.
As the man took his first bite, he noted, "They actually fed you real food," Savoring a few more bites, he turned back towards him before warning him, "Don't think of this as kindness, however, see it more as what it is, a pragmatic way to keep you in place while they decide on what to do with you."
Scowling, he continued, "Mark my words, our wardens are nothing more than animals wearing clothes." He just nodded along at this point, ignoring the man's racist rants for the most part, "Barbaric beasts, the lot of them,"
"Harsh, but it's not hard to see why you don't like them," He empathized with him. From the words of his jailor, they basically left the man to die. In his opinion, that was a pretty dick move. Yes, he was a bit spicy about his racism, but it must've been borne out of experience from a few bad apples, "With the starvation and all…"
"It's the least of what they've done," The man muttered before silence descended between them. He honestly felt bad about the man. He looked so bitter and broken. Who knows how long he had been in there and he sounded so nice…
"You know… after I do my community service I'll be free to go, which is about in a week's time. Maybe I could sneak you out? They think you're dead after all," He offered. He'd probably suffered enough and he didn't sound that bad.
"Just lay off on the racism?" He chuckled, knowing full well that he probably hated them too much to do so, "And it's not like they're all bad, They even got to help heal my companion… though I'm not sure why they trapped Red in a box," He mused out as he laid down his plate and got up.
Walking up towards the door and peering out of the tiny slit, he sighed out, "He's obnoxious and all, but he's fun to be around." Yes, he could be annoying and pushy, but he had been his companion all that time. Through thick and thin, he was there with him. "I miss that cyclops…"
"Wait, Red Cyclops…" The man called out to him, "Sounds Smarmy, a bit of a know it all and all too happy to tell you what you did wrong while being condescending about it?" He then described Red and he couldn't help but laugh at how accurate he was.
"Yeah! He sounds exactly like that," He chuckled, shaking his head at how he simply nailed the mute red sprite. "He's this small and more of a floating head than anything else. I'm still surprised that you can have much ego in such a small package,"
"Hah!" The man roared out laughing just as he finished his plate. "Seems like the shard of my little brother finally came around. About time he showed up. It seems like it's finally time," He then told him ever so enigmatically.
"Wait, what do you mean by that?" he asked, wondering what was that all about.
"You'll know when you see it, young frog, you'll know," The man answered him with a mysterious smile across his face. "Best you rest for now though. Didn't you say you have a court meeting in a few days time?" He told him.
"Ah right right, need to keep myself well for that date," He nodded, "Don't want to be half asleep when I face the judge after all." Being half awake sounded like a recipe for disaster.
Walking back to his corner and laying, he yawned out. It'd been a long day, and sleep sounded like a great idea. Just as he was about to close his eyes, he remembered something. "Oh yeah, one last thing," He called out before asking him, "Haven't really told you my name, have I?"
"You have not, young Frog," The man replied, looking at him curiously as he too laid down.
Extending a hand, or rather a finger, for a handshake, "The names Kermit, nice to meet you."
The man looked down on the hand before snorting in amusement as he grabbed it and shook. The old warrior definitely had quite the grip, he had to give him that. "I have many names, but the one many know me for is Jaghatai Khan," The man introduced himself, "Best to remember it for who knows, maybe you'll meet one of my sons,"
"I'll definitely remember that amazing name," He told him as he spoke out the warriors name, "Jaghatai Khan… sounds almost like that one Star Trek guy!" Chuckling at that little inside joke, he then apologized, "Anyways, sorry for bothering. Good night."
"Good night young tadpole," The man replied as the two rested.
Turning to his back and looking up at the dark ceiling above, he wondered what the future would bring. From getting chased across the stars to winding up in some fairy prison, his life had hit quite a strange but turn. Maybe this was all just a dream… but it was a good dream and he wished that he could keep on dreaming.
A/N:
Heh, seems like Kermit finds himself quite the famous prison cellmate. No one's going poke fun of Kermit with Jaghatai by his side! Kidding aside, Kermit's definitely quite happy to have another person to call his friend and what luck does he have with that man being the brother of his first friend. Quite the reunion really if not for the fact that this is just a shard of Magnus... definitely not going to be relevant later on
Anyways, I'd like to thank @vyor once more for making this possible. Praise be Vyor cause his magic hands make these chapters readable... you guys should definitely hire him for your work . Now if you want to support me or want to read some fic chapters in advance, consider dropping by either Patreon or Ko-Fi. Without my patreons, I wouldn't have been able to write this.
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Chapter 4
- Location
- A Tropical Island in the Pacific
A Midnight Visit
Kermit raised his pick with a grunt before bringing it down as hard as he could. Dragging away the rubble he made from the webway, he lifted his tool once more and did it over and over again. It was just him, his guard and the tunnel he was making. Even as sweat dripped down his form, he found the monotonous motion wearing away at his mind.
With only his work to keep him busy, he found himself in the very same hell he wished to escape. He was once more stuck in a monotonous job, working away for some uncaring overseer. Looking over to his captor, he found them dozing along, not even bothering to keep watch.
"God damn it," he whispered as he set down his pick and leaned against it; it's not like his guard even cared. What if he just up and decided to leave? They'd definitely get in trouble, that's for sure. However, as he glanced at the long tunnel he had made, he muttered, "But I've already made quite the tunnel… I wonder what I'm actually tunneling towards?"
Shaking his head, he stared down on his pick. Sometimes, he wondered if they were really going to keep their promises. All the talk from Jaghatai was getting to him. He wasn't a man with prejudice, though he had his lapses due to ignorance, but maybe there was sense to what his friends were telling him. Maybe these Dhrukari were just as duplicitous and treacherous as he described them… but what did the first word mean, exactly?
Some big and fancy words for being a dick, he assumed. Kermit sighed as he lifted up his pick once more but before he could, he found a familiar voice calling out to him. "Old One, I see that you've done well with your… community service."
Turning around, he found himself smiling at the familiar face of the head honcho riding atop a floating ship. With him were an assortment of guards and as well as a few of those people with very dull lights. What was more concerning, though, was the spiky lady beside the man.
Tall, for a tiny elf, with blood red hair and quite the risque battlegear; this woman was certainly quite eye-catching for all the wrong reasons. He could have just ignored her but that look, that stare she had leveled at him. He felt naked under that stare, and that just made his lack of clothing so much worse! Why was she staring at him?
As unnerved as he was, he still needed to greet them. He couldn't just stare and look like an idiot by not saying anything. The only problem was as he tried to speak up, he found himself tongue tied. He had forgotten one crucial detail, what was the guy's name?
Panicking, he just threw out the first thing that came to mind, "Heyyy, Antonio! Glad that you're still looking good. Had a nice breakfast? You certainly have a healthy glow to you." He didn't even have to lie at the last part. Aside from the light that all the Dhrukari had, a deep and swirling purple, he found him glowing a whole spectra of colors or, rather, his clothes were. Whites, Greens, Blues, all sorts of wonderful colors.
His compliment, though, did not go through as he was met with silence. He cringed back as the man's face immediately fell at the mention of the nickname while his lady companion snorted, turning around and shaking. That… did not go well.
Chuckling nervously, he admitted, "Can I just say that your name's kinda hard to remember?" He knew elves would have very complicated names, but he did not expect it to be this bad.
"It's Asdrubael Vect," The man gritted out as he reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Is it really that hard to remember?"
"Yes, it has too many syllables. I mean, just look at my name. Kermit. Short, sweet, and rolls off the tongue like butter!" He answered immediately, making the woman just flat out laugh. Was there something wrong with what he said?
"She Who Thirst must be testing me," The man sighed out as he shook his head. Clearing his throat, he then called out to him, "Well, no matter. What's important is the good news I bring you!" Putting out a thousand watt smile, the man then told him, "Rejoice Old One, for the date of which I shall render my final judgment unto you have been decided."
That got his full attention as he knelt down to get to eye level with the man. Smiling wider, the man told him, "I have decided that with your impressive work, having carved out such an impressive tunnel in such a short time, that your time in community service is about to end."
"Aw shucks, I was just doing honest work that's all," He replied, blushing at the compliment.
The man chuckled, nodding as he continued, "Indeed and what great works you have given us. Truly, all the servants in my kingdom should look up to you." The look he gave his servants(?) who cowered under his gaze was a bit concerning, however.
The man should really stop being hard on them. Maybe that's why they had dull lights, they must have felt horrible. He knew he would be if he was compared to someone else at work. He didn't have time to dwell much as the man then said, "Now, back to more pressing matters."
Clearing his throat, the tiny elf then told him, "In three days time, you shall be brought before Khaine's Gate in your chains to be judged by yours truly," before gesturing himself with a smirk, "There, I shall judge your work and give you a reward fitting your work." As he looked behind him and gazed upon the long winding path he made, he then said with a chuckle, "And seeing that you did well, it wouldn't be hard to think of what awaits you in the trial!"
Kermit nodded, pleased at the results. "I'm really sorry about everything Aston. I'm a changed frog, I promise!" he swore and the man turned an interesting shade of red.
"It's Asdrubael, As-Dru-Bael!" The man gritted out through a strained smile.
"Right, Assbael," he replied before covering his mouth. At this point, even the guards that the poor man had brought with him couldn't hold it in anymore as they started snickering.
Meanwhile, the woman from earlier was bent over and wheezing, begging for air as she laughed out, "I can't! I just can't! Help," She had turned purple from laughing so much.
If this was his old boss, he would have expected a loud scream and the threat of getting fired, but the man showed something that his old boss had never shown him; restraint. The man took one deep breath, before sighing. "Let's just agree that you shall call me… Vect." Looking at him straight in the eyes, the elf demanded, "Look me in the eyes and repeat after me, Vect."
"Vect," He nodded, fearing for his case. He had already fumbled hard enough, best to make him happy. Thankfully, the man smiled as he clapped.
"Good, just be a good boy and never say Asdrubael ever again," The man requested before leveling a glare at him, "Understood?"
Kermit nodded hastily as he raised his hands, "Understood, Sir!"
The man smirked as he then said, "You know, I like that one better. Call me that instead, hmm?" He just nodded along, keeping his mouth shut this time. He already caused enough damage, best not to make more. Walking up to him and giving him a light tap on the cheeks, the man then said, "I'm glad we've come to an agreement. Now be a good boy and just continue with your work. We'll get to that golden light in no time!"
With a bid of farewell and words of encouragement, he was left to his own devices. He was pretty sure he pissed him off real good if the shouting from the distance could be attested to. Best to do an even greater job so that he forgets everything about earlier then!
Turning to the strange solid fabric before him, one that was both transparent and not, he stared ahead and watched as the golden light waxed and waned. "I wonder what Vect wants there? Probably a vacation or something. Must be quite the place to be this bright and visible from here."
As the day's work came to an end, Kermit once more found himself back in his cell. While he used to hate coming back here after a long day out in the tunnels, he found its inhabitants strangely charming.
"Ohhh man, thanks for the extra portions, Warden," He thanked the warden as the Druhkari brought with him not just one barge but two of them, "Tell the missus that I love the cooking. She's a miracle worker!" He told him as he dug in with gust, savoring the tasty treat.
"I'll make sure she hears about it," His warden then chuckled as he shook his head, "Never seen someone else like her cooking before but, hey, more for us right? I mean, what's not to like? You have everything on a single plate."
At first, the gruel was just that, sustenance, but, after a while, he started to appreciate the taste. It was almost tasteless, but it was filling and unoffending to the tongue. The flavors were subtle, but they were there.
Hints of sweet and spiciness brought from some fragrant spices along with a hint of salty umami to round it out. Honestly, he'd love this with some eggs right about then, but he doubted that he'd find an egg big enough for him… but then again, he did have a sandwich big enough for him once.
"They don't know what they're missing!" He nodded as he shoveled another spoonful into his mouth. "You're a lucky man, Warden. Wish I could have this everyday," He chuckled as he lifted up the barge in shape of a bowl.
"Oh come on, you're just going to feed her ego! It's already big enough as is!" The man laughed before he paused as the screaming whistle that told the time came ringing across the prison. "Welp, lights out big guy," The man told him as he patted him, "Best you get some rest cause I can't have my favorite prisoner all grumpy tomorrow!"
"It was one time," He shouted back as he watched the Dhrukari man retreat and closed the door behind him. "And goodnight, Warden! Take care!" He waved, watching the man go as the lights of the prison went out. Finally, there was darkness with only the sobbing and screams of the prisoners to keep him company. He really hated those.
He waited for a minute before he let his light out and spread out, illuminating his cell to reveal an exasperated Jaghatai Khan hanging from the ceiling. "Hey, he's gone," He whispered, beckoning him down, "You can come down now."
"Finally," Jaghatai replied with an exasperated tone, "I thought you'd chat him up all night long," The man then dropped down the ceiling before rolling his shoulders, "I missed the days when they just left my cell to myself," The man muttered as he walked up to the barge of food.
"Aw come on Jaghatai, you know you like me," He chuckled, keeping his voice low as to not alert the prisoners. They really needed their sleep based on their cries. "Also, it's good to be acquainted with your warden, you know? How else could I have this extra serving of gruel for you~?" He then said as he pushed the barge forward.
The man chuckled as he hauled himself up the edge of the bowl and dug in, "Well, I have to give you that, young tadpole." Unlike the first time he met him, Jaghatai was more active and was starting to fill out. No longer were his cheeks sunken and his complexion unhealthy as he got more food. Looking up at him, the man then asked "Do you always try to make friends with everyone you meet?"
"Well, not everyone," He replied before he told him, "There are some animals that I tried befriending, but that kinda goes out the window once they start chasing you."
"But if you're talking about people… huh, come to think of it, I've only met like a couple of guys I don't like, like my old boss," He then admitted. Shaking his head, he then reminisced on his previous work, "Man, was he a control freak. I couldn't do anything without him getting things approved! It took me ages before I got myself a proper vacation…"
"Sounds like a certain someone I know," The man grimaced as he gave him a look of empathy.
Nodding back at him, Kermit then said, "But you know… I kinda miss them." It was a strange feeling yet it lingered inside him, this longing to go back to his usual routine. "As much as I don't like them… I kinda miss having them shout at me for messing up or praising me when I did good. As bad as it was, it was my life…"
Sighing, he stretched his legs before laying down. Looking up to the ceiling, he couldn't help but compare his stars to the starry sky as they made their procession. "Before everything I had here, before meeting you and everyone else, I just had a simple boring life." He closed his eyes, remembering the sounds of people talking, the scent of coffee filling the air, and a hundred fingers dancing across keyboards.
"It was just me, my friends, my work, and the life I lived. It was so boring that I wished for some change; something, anything really," He told him, chuckling as his smile became a frown "Turns out though, I really didn't want it."
Turning his gaze to Jaghatai, he just let his heart out, "It's only after you lose something that you realize that you really wanted it. I lost my comfortable bed, my spacious apartment. Technically, I even lost my job… and just my entire life."
"I have nothing," He whispered sadly as he curled up, "No coworkers, no family… no friends…" He then let out a long suffering sigh as he felt the weariness of it all settle atop his shoulders, "It just sucks you know? I miss them so much…"
There was silence between them as a somber mood settled upon the room. He shook his head, this was a terrible idea; he shouldn't have burdened his friend with this, "Sorry about that, it's just how I am when I get thinking," He apologized.
"What is there to apologize for?" Jaghatai's comforting voice echoed out. Wiping his hand clean of the gruel, the man then grinned as he asked, "And Come now Young Tadpole, have you forgotten the friends you have now?" gesturing around him, the man listed, "The Warden, the Lights of all the Souls you carry, and dare I say… even Magnus the Red,"
"I… " He choked out only to find himself tongue tied. He almost chuckled as he heard a loud squeak echo in the prison.
"HEY!"
Jaghatai laughed as he got off the barge and walked up to him. Laying his hands against his forehead, he reminded him, "You have friends here Kermit, friends looking out for you." He felt at ease already, but he felt his spirit lift as the man told him, "And even those you thought lost, aren't, my friend."
"They're not?" he asked in confusion.
"Have you not told me of your tale? How you were pulled into this galaxy?" Jaghatai then asked.
Kermit frowned as he answered, "Yes?" Indeed, he may have told him a bit too much about himself, but he had no one else to talk to that could relate. He wasn't quite sure how his warden would react if he said something as crazy.
"Then they are still there Kermit, they're waiting on the other side, waiting for you to return." Jaghatai reassured him,, "So long as you have them in your heart, so long as you believe that they will be there, you will never lose them."
Giving him a comforting smile, Jaghatai then told him, "Remember this Kermit. Remember it well as you keep on moving forward,"
He nodded as he felt the burden he felt lifted. No longer did he feel so down, he felt happier. "Thanks Jaghatai," He thanked him, "You're a great friend."
He needed those words of encouragement and reminders. How could he feel so down when had them with him? Yes, his old friends were away, but they were definitely looking for him, he just knew it. He needed to continue moving forward… so maybe he could come back to where he came from.
Their peace would be soon interrupted as a feminine voice called out from the bars to his cell, "While I hate to interrupt such a heartwarming conversation, there's something I wish to discuss with you Old One… that is, if you don't mind."
Turning towards his cell's door, he found a lone woman perched up in the small barred window in the thick slab of steel. With her neon green hair, her mask and gothic dress, she had that air of self importance; something further reinforced by a scary looking elf standing beside her. She looked important enough, probably below the head honcho? Who was she?
"You," Jaghatai hissed out as he glared at the woman.
Confused by her request, he greeted her, "Ummm, hi?" Making himself a bit more presentable as he stood up, he admitted, "Gotta to be honest, I did not expect to be visited by a lovely lady." At which the woman tittered, hiding her lips behind the bladed fan she carried with her.
"Or is she your visitor? I'm not really sure," He then asked, turning to Jaghatai who looked offended at the mere mention of it. He gave him a look demanding why Jaghatai wasn't into her. Despite the heavy make up, Kermit had to admit that she looked gorgeous. How could Jaghatai turn her down? Was there history between her and Jaghatai? Were they… exes?
"Ohohoho, don't you have a way with words Old One," the woman chuckled before shaking her head, "And while I would love to have a conversation with your dear friend, this mon'keigh, I'm far more interested in you.~"
"M-me?" he stuttered out.
"Yes,~" The woman all but moaned, making Kermit swallow thickly. He then glanced over to Jaghatai, a look of apology. He had to take this, he was sure that Jaghatai would understand.
As he combed his non-existent hair and cleared his throat, Jaghatai barged into their conversation and demanded, "Just cut to the chase already, What do you want?" Kermit gave him a silent plea to not be so hostile. While the man was a fun roommate, he could be quite rude, especially with the Dhrukari. Jaghatai, of course, would ignore his plea as he kept glaring at her.
"Such impatience, no wonder you got captured all those years ago," The woman laughed before he started taunting his friend, "How long has it been again? A couple thousand years? I wonder how your Legion would react knowing that their primarch had been a prisoner all this time?"
Kermit took a deep breath and sighed at her words. "While I appreciate that you came to visit me," He started as he looked up at her and gave her a disapproving gaze, "I do not appreciate having my friends insulted." Crossing his arms across his chest, he then told her off, "Now, if you came here just to insult my friend, it's best that you leave." He might have found her beautiful, but she definitely had a not so appealing heart.
The man beside the women bristled as he grabbed his sword before the woman placed her hands over his hand. Grimacing, the woman replied, "I… Apologize," The woman looked like she just swallowed a lemon as he explained, "Excuse me for my rudeness, but things have just been a bit tense in the city. Everyone is just on edge because of the insanity of our dear leader."
Astaroth, insane? That certainly caught his attention, and so to did it catch Jaghatai's. Snorting, his friend then said, "An Dhrukari, apologizing?" With a scoff, he noted, "Now that's a first. Things must be quite dire out there, and what I would give to watch it all as this city burns."
"Jaghatai!" He hissed out as his friend racist tendencies rear its ugly head, "Can we please not antagonize the nice lady?" He had to remind himself that Jaghatai really hated the Druhkari but they couldn't be all bad, right?
"I apologize for my friend, he didn't mean it," He apologized before Jaghatai butted in.
"I mean it and wish for you all to die," The man casually told the woman, making Kermit cringe. At Least he wasn't throwing harsh insults?
Smiling through it all, Kermit then asked, "Now, what do you want from little old me, Miss…?" Hopefully, a change in subject would distract Jaghatai enough not to throw something akin to a hard R in the language of the Dhrukaril; something that he had a feeling that the man was more than capable of doing. What he did not expect was what the woman would tell them.
"It's Lady Mayls and I come bearing news," The woman bowed before she continued, "Asdrubael plots to have your soul tortured and your torment harvested to power the city." This caught him completely by surprise. Jaghatai meanwhile looked wholly unimpressed.
"Wasn't that a given?" The man replied as he stroked his bear, "I'm actually quite surprised that he hasn't attempted to do so before now."
"Oh it is, but our little friend over here doesn't quite understand what he has landed himself in," The woman then said as she shrugged.
He stood there for a bit, mouth agape as he tried processing what she just told him, before he blurted out, "Excuse me, but he's going to do what to me and harvest what?!" He would then turn to his friend as he asked him, "And Jaghatai, you knew about this and you didn't tell me!?"
The man looked back at him mystified as he asked, "Wait, you're telling me you're not just playing nice with the Dhrukari?" There was a look of dawning realization in the man's face as he shouted back at him, "You actually believe their words?!"
"They're misunderstood!" He shouted back, his face burning as he defended the Dhrukari. This, however, got a laugh out of the woman.
"He is cute, yes, but he is not exactly that perceptive," She chuckled, making Kermit want to just curl up and disappear. "Dear Old One, just know that we are a very naughty race," The woman moaned out and Kermit felt like his cheeks were going to burst into flame. So there was truth to what Jaghatai had been telling all this time?
"Dear Emperor," Jaghatai sighed out as he dragged his palm across his face, "I thought you were just faking it, but no; you truly are just that friendly."
"I know I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but can we please get back to Aster trying to kill me?!" He blurted out, feeling all defensive. So the woman might have admitted that her people were evil. It could just be her being an asshole right? Surely, they can't all be bad. Then there was the matter of the head honcho wanting him dead. There were a lot of things to unpack, there.
"Eh, I don't see anything to worry about," Jaghatai dismissed his concerns as he turned towards the Dhrukari, "Unless your dear leader found a weapon that can knock out the Four, there is nothing to worry about,"
"But, but!" He blurted out, feeling afraid for once.
"From the looks of it, our visitor here is just trying to get into your good grace by scaring you and then telling you their truth to make them look good," Jaghatai accused them. Turning towards them, Kermit watched as the woman merely shrugged in reply.
"What harm is there in telling the truth?~" She fired back as she crossed her legs,"After all, being honest would surely be the best way to get into the good graces of a God. Are we all not on the same side?"
"Trusting a treacherous Druhkari?" Jaghatai scoffed, "Hah, don't make me laugh"
"Bwah?!" He blurted out, looking back and forth between them, "I'm… now confused. What's this about sides? Also, can someone please explain why both of you sound so unconcerned when there's someone planning bodily harm against me?!"
Jaghatai nodded as he began explaining by asking a simple question, "Ever had a pony try and bite you despite knowing that you can kill them at a moment's notice?"
Kermit paused, taken aback by the question as he tried thinking about it, "Well, I had my boss Chihuahua try and bite through my shoe once," Laughing at the memory, he added, "It was funny how angry they were."
"That's the situation you're facing right now," Jaghatai nodded, making him blink at such a comparison, "Asdrubael wishes to torture you, but he's in way over his head." The man had been telling him he was powerful, but he didn't feel powerful. He felt like his normal self and even if he could learn half of what Jaghatai could do, it's not like he'd be that much more powerful… right?
"But why?" He then asked. Why go through all that trouble just to get to him? Was it some sick kick for Asbull?
The woman gave Jaghatai a look before asking, "Are you going to tell him or shall I?"
The man gave him an evil look as he started to explain, "Kermit, when I told you that the Dhrukari are an evil race, I meant it in every sense of the word. The Druhkari as a species feed off torment." Looking back at him, he continued, "The stronger the creature, the better of a meal it would be and there is no bigger creature than what you are now, Kermit."
"It's not like we want to live like this," The woman scoffed as she turned away from them, "In order to live, we must inflict suffering upon others. That is merely the reality brought to us by living under the yoke of She Who Thirst," Smiling sadly, she then said, "If we don't feed off suffering, let's just say that she will suck us dry."
"Suffering that you brought upon your misbegotten race!" Jaghatai shouted back, making the woman grin. "And do not tell me that you can't live without it, for your cousins have done so for eons," He then argued. There were other kinds of elves? Come to think of it, he should have expected that.
"And live dull lives, without pleasure?" The woman chuckled darkly as she gave him a toothy smile that sent shivers of fear up his spine. "I'd sooner cut off my own tongue than become like those puritans," The woman proudly replied.
Sitting up from her seat, she then floated down toward them. Confidently, she walked towards them, not even flinching as Jaghatai stood up and towered over her as she landed in front of them, "Our very powers, the ones the Old Ones gifted us, would be weakened if we do not bow to their will," Looking up at Jaghatai, she continued, "Without it, we can't access our weapons and technology. Without our tools, how do you expect us to live then, Monkaigh?"
Baring her teeth, she then asked, "Should we just bow down and let our heads be cut off by your swords like your father intended?" The two faced off, daring each other to make the first strike. With the guard coming down soon after the woman, he had to intervene.
Before things came to blows, Kermit slipped his hands between them as he ordered. "Ok, back up." Making sure that they were well apart, he then asked, "She Who Thirst? Wait… is that why you all have this thin line tethering you to some place… or, rather, being?"
"Ahh, you see our souls getting siphoned then," The woman replied, sighing fondly as she asked, "Is it not a cruel fate? To be born knowing that you must torment others in order to live?"
"That does suck…" He admitted, "And I can see why Ascot want's to torture me… he could probably feed of me like I'm some prime cut of meat!" Things were coming together now. While he did not approve of him getting tortured, he could now see why.
"Indeed," The woman nodded before she continued,"But he will fail and once he angers you, my city will be gone and we can't have that. Thus, I offer you knowledge of all his plans as well as cover for your escape… so long as you support me on my endeavor to take control of the city."
"Hah! You think we need you to escape this prison? You must be just as mad as Vect," Jaghtai replied, before turning to him, "We do not need her help. Just wait for a few more days and both of us will be free."
"I…" he whispered before pausing as he considered their worlds, "Let me think," He hated that he was being made to choose. While she offered her help, in his ears, it sounded more like a plea for help. He could just leave now… but that would mean leaving them in this situation. They didn't choose to be like this, something was making them like this.
"Kermit, are you really going to trust her words?" Jaghtai asked before pointing at her, "Her species has brought nothing but misery to this galaxy, and for what? To continue living their lives without consequence?"
"That is true, but getting out would be problematic for you," The woman argued as she told him, "After all, you would have snapped my neck here and now if you could.~"
"Do not test me, witch,"Jaghtai hissed, "Your species' day of reckoning will come,"
"Like your signal calling in the forces of a Legion's worth of your precious soldiers into the very heart of Commorragh?" The woman replied, "Oh don't be surprised, subterfuge is not really your species greatest feat. You're better off actually just running around… well, up until you get caught once more."
That made Jaghtai freeze up. Was this what his friend had been planning all week, a rescue to help him? But this lady knew and if she knew… then the main man might know. The friends of his friend were in danger and it made his decision all the more easier.
"I'll help you," Kermit replied.
"Kermit!" Jaghtai turned to him, "My children knew what they signed themselves up for when they answered my call. We do not need their help. Nothing about her getting into power would help us."
Kermit nodded, which made Jaghtai look up at him in confusion, "Oh I think both of us can just kick the door open and walk out, but that doesn't really solve the main problem here," He then told them, earning a look of interest from the lady.
"Oho?" She replied.
Turning to her, he then said, "I'll help you… if you can promise me that you will help me stop the Dhrukari from being dicks."
"Have your friends not told you of my race's condition?" The woman sighed as she reminded him, "We are bound to She Who Thirst and we must feed off suffering. It is the only way we can live if we want to keep our way of life, one that is tied to our innate psychic might and one that will be dampened if we live like our cousins, the Eldari."
"But what if you can keep your power and not be dick to everyone?" He then said, and now even Jaghtai's attention was on him.
"While I hate them, I would admit that I am intrigued," Jaghtai told him, "But I have my concerns. You are powerful, yes, but you do not have the experience to wield this power. You can't will them to change. Even my father would balk at the prospect of changing the very nature of a being as complex as a Dhrukari."
"Wait, I can do that?" He asked before shaking his head as he got back on track, "But that's not what I want to do. I'm thinking more of… what if I just talk to She Who Thirst and make her stop trying to eat you guys?"
This got everyone to stop and look at him like he had just said something stupid. Blushing, he fired back, "What? I can do it!"
A/N:
Oh Kermit, you're too innocent for your own good. Still, without your optimism (and mind boggling strength), this potential and unholy alliance could not be possible. Dhrukari's are bastard but some can be smart about it. Kermit... Kermit just makes so many things possible. Heh, let's see the fireworks at the end of this road shall we~?
Anyways, I'd like to thank @vyor once more for making this possible. Praise be vyor cause I'll probably go a bit more stir crazy without him (and other friends) to keep me from going fully isolated. I really need to get out more often. Now if you want to support me or want to read some fic chapters in advance, consider dropping by either Patreon or Ko-Fi. Without my patreons, I wouldn't have been able to write this.
Speaking off, to that stuck around till this part, wanna read some Primarch SI where the Emperor gets to deal with having Grandchilden? Here, why not give it a read: https://www.patreon.com/posts/lawman-prologue-106440427
Kermit raised his pick with a grunt before bringing it down as hard as he could. Dragging away the rubble he made from the webway, he lifted his tool once more and did it over and over again. It was just him, his guard and the tunnel he was making. Even as sweat dripped down his form, he found the monotonous motion wearing away at his mind.
With only his work to keep him busy, he found himself in the very same hell he wished to escape. He was once more stuck in a monotonous job, working away for some uncaring overseer. Looking over to his captor, he found them dozing along, not even bothering to keep watch.
"God damn it," he whispered as he set down his pick and leaned against it; it's not like his guard even cared. What if he just up and decided to leave? They'd definitely get in trouble, that's for sure. However, as he glanced at the long tunnel he had made, he muttered, "But I've already made quite the tunnel… I wonder what I'm actually tunneling towards?"
Shaking his head, he stared down on his pick. Sometimes, he wondered if they were really going to keep their promises. All the talk from Jaghatai was getting to him. He wasn't a man with prejudice, though he had his lapses due to ignorance, but maybe there was sense to what his friends were telling him. Maybe these Dhrukari were just as duplicitous and treacherous as he described them… but what did the first word mean, exactly?
Some big and fancy words for being a dick, he assumed. Kermit sighed as he lifted up his pick once more but before he could, he found a familiar voice calling out to him. "Old One, I see that you've done well with your… community service."
Turning around, he found himself smiling at the familiar face of the head honcho riding atop a floating ship. With him were an assortment of guards and as well as a few of those people with very dull lights. What was more concerning, though, was the spiky lady beside the man.
Tall, for a tiny elf, with blood red hair and quite the risque battlegear; this woman was certainly quite eye-catching for all the wrong reasons. He could have just ignored her but that look, that stare she had leveled at him. He felt naked under that stare, and that just made his lack of clothing so much worse! Why was she staring at him?
As unnerved as he was, he still needed to greet them. He couldn't just stare and look like an idiot by not saying anything. The only problem was as he tried to speak up, he found himself tongue tied. He had forgotten one crucial detail, what was the guy's name?
Panicking, he just threw out the first thing that came to mind, "Heyyy, Antonio! Glad that you're still looking good. Had a nice breakfast? You certainly have a healthy glow to you." He didn't even have to lie at the last part. Aside from the light that all the Dhrukari had, a deep and swirling purple, he found him glowing a whole spectra of colors or, rather, his clothes were. Whites, Greens, Blues, all sorts of wonderful colors.
His compliment, though, did not go through as he was met with silence. He cringed back as the man's face immediately fell at the mention of the nickname while his lady companion snorted, turning around and shaking. That… did not go well.
Chuckling nervously, he admitted, "Can I just say that your name's kinda hard to remember?" He knew elves would have very complicated names, but he did not expect it to be this bad.
"It's Asdrubael Vect," The man gritted out as he reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Is it really that hard to remember?"
"Yes, it has too many syllables. I mean, just look at my name. Kermit. Short, sweet, and rolls off the tongue like butter!" He answered immediately, making the woman just flat out laugh. Was there something wrong with what he said?
"She Who Thirst must be testing me," The man sighed out as he shook his head. Clearing his throat, he then called out to him, "Well, no matter. What's important is the good news I bring you!" Putting out a thousand watt smile, the man then told him, "Rejoice Old One, for the date of which I shall render my final judgment unto you have been decided."
That got his full attention as he knelt down to get to eye level with the man. Smiling wider, the man told him, "I have decided that with your impressive work, having carved out such an impressive tunnel in such a short time, that your time in community service is about to end."
"Aw shucks, I was just doing honest work that's all," He replied, blushing at the compliment.
The man chuckled, nodding as he continued, "Indeed and what great works you have given us. Truly, all the servants in my kingdom should look up to you." The look he gave his servants(?) who cowered under his gaze was a bit concerning, however.
The man should really stop being hard on them. Maybe that's why they had dull lights, they must have felt horrible. He knew he would be if he was compared to someone else at work. He didn't have time to dwell much as the man then said, "Now, back to more pressing matters."
Clearing his throat, the tiny elf then told him, "In three days time, you shall be brought before Khaine's Gate in your chains to be judged by yours truly," before gesturing himself with a smirk, "There, I shall judge your work and give you a reward fitting your work." As he looked behind him and gazed upon the long winding path he made, he then said with a chuckle, "And seeing that you did well, it wouldn't be hard to think of what awaits you in the trial!"
Kermit nodded, pleased at the results. "I'm really sorry about everything Aston. I'm a changed frog, I promise!" he swore and the man turned an interesting shade of red.
"It's Asdrubael, As-Dru-Bael!" The man gritted out through a strained smile.
"Right, Assbael," he replied before covering his mouth. At this point, even the guards that the poor man had brought with him couldn't hold it in anymore as they started snickering.
Meanwhile, the woman from earlier was bent over and wheezing, begging for air as she laughed out, "I can't! I just can't! Help," She had turned purple from laughing so much.
If this was his old boss, he would have expected a loud scream and the threat of getting fired, but the man showed something that his old boss had never shown him; restraint. The man took one deep breath, before sighing. "Let's just agree that you shall call me… Vect." Looking at him straight in the eyes, the elf demanded, "Look me in the eyes and repeat after me, Vect."
"Vect," He nodded, fearing for his case. He had already fumbled hard enough, best to make him happy. Thankfully, the man smiled as he clapped.
"Good, just be a good boy and never say Asdrubael ever again," The man requested before leveling a glare at him, "Understood?"
Kermit nodded hastily as he raised his hands, "Understood, Sir!"
The man smirked as he then said, "You know, I like that one better. Call me that instead, hmm?" He just nodded along, keeping his mouth shut this time. He already caused enough damage, best not to make more. Walking up to him and giving him a light tap on the cheeks, the man then said, "I'm glad we've come to an agreement. Now be a good boy and just continue with your work. We'll get to that golden light in no time!"
With a bid of farewell and words of encouragement, he was left to his own devices. He was pretty sure he pissed him off real good if the shouting from the distance could be attested to. Best to do an even greater job so that he forgets everything about earlier then!
Turning to the strange solid fabric before him, one that was both transparent and not, he stared ahead and watched as the golden light waxed and waned. "I wonder what Vect wants there? Probably a vacation or something. Must be quite the place to be this bright and visible from here."
As the day's work came to an end, Kermit once more found himself back in his cell. While he used to hate coming back here after a long day out in the tunnels, he found its inhabitants strangely charming.
"Ohhh man, thanks for the extra portions, Warden," He thanked the warden as the Druhkari brought with him not just one barge but two of them, "Tell the missus that I love the cooking. She's a miracle worker!" He told him as he dug in with gust, savoring the tasty treat.
"I'll make sure she hears about it," His warden then chuckled as he shook his head, "Never seen someone else like her cooking before but, hey, more for us right? I mean, what's not to like? You have everything on a single plate."
At first, the gruel was just that, sustenance, but, after a while, he started to appreciate the taste. It was almost tasteless, but it was filling and unoffending to the tongue. The flavors were subtle, but they were there.
Hints of sweet and spiciness brought from some fragrant spices along with a hint of salty umami to round it out. Honestly, he'd love this with some eggs right about then, but he doubted that he'd find an egg big enough for him… but then again, he did have a sandwich big enough for him once.
"They don't know what they're missing!" He nodded as he shoveled another spoonful into his mouth. "You're a lucky man, Warden. Wish I could have this everyday," He chuckled as he lifted up the barge in shape of a bowl.
"Oh come on, you're just going to feed her ego! It's already big enough as is!" The man laughed before he paused as the screaming whistle that told the time came ringing across the prison. "Welp, lights out big guy," The man told him as he patted him, "Best you get some rest cause I can't have my favorite prisoner all grumpy tomorrow!"
"It was one time," He shouted back as he watched the Dhrukari man retreat and closed the door behind him. "And goodnight, Warden! Take care!" He waved, watching the man go as the lights of the prison went out. Finally, there was darkness with only the sobbing and screams of the prisoners to keep him company. He really hated those.
He waited for a minute before he let his light out and spread out, illuminating his cell to reveal an exasperated Jaghatai Khan hanging from the ceiling. "Hey, he's gone," He whispered, beckoning him down, "You can come down now."
"Finally," Jaghatai replied with an exasperated tone, "I thought you'd chat him up all night long," The man then dropped down the ceiling before rolling his shoulders, "I missed the days when they just left my cell to myself," The man muttered as he walked up to the barge of food.
"Aw come on Jaghatai, you know you like me," He chuckled, keeping his voice low as to not alert the prisoners. They really needed their sleep based on their cries. "Also, it's good to be acquainted with your warden, you know? How else could I have this extra serving of gruel for you~?" He then said as he pushed the barge forward.
The man chuckled as he hauled himself up the edge of the bowl and dug in, "Well, I have to give you that, young tadpole." Unlike the first time he met him, Jaghatai was more active and was starting to fill out. No longer were his cheeks sunken and his complexion unhealthy as he got more food. Looking up at him, the man then asked "Do you always try to make friends with everyone you meet?"
"Well, not everyone," He replied before he told him, "There are some animals that I tried befriending, but that kinda goes out the window once they start chasing you."
"But if you're talking about people… huh, come to think of it, I've only met like a couple of guys I don't like, like my old boss," He then admitted. Shaking his head, he then reminisced on his previous work, "Man, was he a control freak. I couldn't do anything without him getting things approved! It took me ages before I got myself a proper vacation…"
"Sounds like a certain someone I know," The man grimaced as he gave him a look of empathy.
Nodding back at him, Kermit then said, "But you know… I kinda miss them." It was a strange feeling yet it lingered inside him, this longing to go back to his usual routine. "As much as I don't like them… I kinda miss having them shout at me for messing up or praising me when I did good. As bad as it was, it was my life…"
Sighing, he stretched his legs before laying down. Looking up to the ceiling, he couldn't help but compare his stars to the starry sky as they made their procession. "Before everything I had here, before meeting you and everyone else, I just had a simple boring life." He closed his eyes, remembering the sounds of people talking, the scent of coffee filling the air, and a hundred fingers dancing across keyboards.
"It was just me, my friends, my work, and the life I lived. It was so boring that I wished for some change; something, anything really," He told him, chuckling as his smile became a frown "Turns out though, I really didn't want it."
Turning his gaze to Jaghatai, he just let his heart out, "It's only after you lose something that you realize that you really wanted it. I lost my comfortable bed, my spacious apartment. Technically, I even lost my job… and just my entire life."
"I have nothing," He whispered sadly as he curled up, "No coworkers, no family… no friends…" He then let out a long suffering sigh as he felt the weariness of it all settle atop his shoulders, "It just sucks you know? I miss them so much…"
There was silence between them as a somber mood settled upon the room. He shook his head, this was a terrible idea; he shouldn't have burdened his friend with this, "Sorry about that, it's just how I am when I get thinking," He apologized.
"What is there to apologize for?" Jaghatai's comforting voice echoed out. Wiping his hand clean of the gruel, the man then grinned as he asked, "And Come now Young Tadpole, have you forgotten the friends you have now?" gesturing around him, the man listed, "The Warden, the Lights of all the Souls you carry, and dare I say… even Magnus the Red,"
"I… " He choked out only to find himself tongue tied. He almost chuckled as he heard a loud squeak echo in the prison.
"HEY!"
Jaghatai laughed as he got off the barge and walked up to him. Laying his hands against his forehead, he reminded him, "You have friends here Kermit, friends looking out for you." He felt at ease already, but he felt his spirit lift as the man told him, "And even those you thought lost, aren't, my friend."
"They're not?" he asked in confusion.
"Have you not told me of your tale? How you were pulled into this galaxy?" Jaghatai then asked.
Kermit frowned as he answered, "Yes?" Indeed, he may have told him a bit too much about himself, but he had no one else to talk to that could relate. He wasn't quite sure how his warden would react if he said something as crazy.
"Then they are still there Kermit, they're waiting on the other side, waiting for you to return." Jaghatai reassured him,, "So long as you have them in your heart, so long as you believe that they will be there, you will never lose them."
Giving him a comforting smile, Jaghatai then told him, "Remember this Kermit. Remember it well as you keep on moving forward,"
He nodded as he felt the burden he felt lifted. No longer did he feel so down, he felt happier. "Thanks Jaghatai," He thanked him, "You're a great friend."
He needed those words of encouragement and reminders. How could he feel so down when had them with him? Yes, his old friends were away, but they were definitely looking for him, he just knew it. He needed to continue moving forward… so maybe he could come back to where he came from.
Their peace would be soon interrupted as a feminine voice called out from the bars to his cell, "While I hate to interrupt such a heartwarming conversation, there's something I wish to discuss with you Old One… that is, if you don't mind."
Turning towards his cell's door, he found a lone woman perched up in the small barred window in the thick slab of steel. With her neon green hair, her mask and gothic dress, she had that air of self importance; something further reinforced by a scary looking elf standing beside her. She looked important enough, probably below the head honcho? Who was she?
"You," Jaghatai hissed out as he glared at the woman.
Confused by her request, he greeted her, "Ummm, hi?" Making himself a bit more presentable as he stood up, he admitted, "Gotta to be honest, I did not expect to be visited by a lovely lady." At which the woman tittered, hiding her lips behind the bladed fan she carried with her.
"Or is she your visitor? I'm not really sure," He then asked, turning to Jaghatai who looked offended at the mere mention of it. He gave him a look demanding why Jaghatai wasn't into her. Despite the heavy make up, Kermit had to admit that she looked gorgeous. How could Jaghatai turn her down? Was there history between her and Jaghatai? Were they… exes?
"Ohohoho, don't you have a way with words Old One," the woman chuckled before shaking her head, "And while I would love to have a conversation with your dear friend, this mon'keigh, I'm far more interested in you.~"
"M-me?" he stuttered out.
"Yes,~" The woman all but moaned, making Kermit swallow thickly. He then glanced over to Jaghatai, a look of apology. He had to take this, he was sure that Jaghatai would understand.
As he combed his non-existent hair and cleared his throat, Jaghatai barged into their conversation and demanded, "Just cut to the chase already, What do you want?" Kermit gave him a silent plea to not be so hostile. While the man was a fun roommate, he could be quite rude, especially with the Dhrukari. Jaghatai, of course, would ignore his plea as he kept glaring at her.
"Such impatience, no wonder you got captured all those years ago," The woman laughed before he started taunting his friend, "How long has it been again? A couple thousand years? I wonder how your Legion would react knowing that their primarch had been a prisoner all this time?"
Kermit took a deep breath and sighed at her words. "While I appreciate that you came to visit me," He started as he looked up at her and gave her a disapproving gaze, "I do not appreciate having my friends insulted." Crossing his arms across his chest, he then told her off, "Now, if you came here just to insult my friend, it's best that you leave." He might have found her beautiful, but she definitely had a not so appealing heart.
The man beside the women bristled as he grabbed his sword before the woman placed her hands over his hand. Grimacing, the woman replied, "I… Apologize," The woman looked like she just swallowed a lemon as he explained, "Excuse me for my rudeness, but things have just been a bit tense in the city. Everyone is just on edge because of the insanity of our dear leader."
Astaroth, insane? That certainly caught his attention, and so to did it catch Jaghatai's. Snorting, his friend then said, "An Dhrukari, apologizing?" With a scoff, he noted, "Now that's a first. Things must be quite dire out there, and what I would give to watch it all as this city burns."
"Jaghatai!" He hissed out as his friend racist tendencies rear its ugly head, "Can we please not antagonize the nice lady?" He had to remind himself that Jaghatai really hated the Druhkari but they couldn't be all bad, right?
"I apologize for my friend, he didn't mean it," He apologized before Jaghatai butted in.
"I mean it and wish for you all to die," The man casually told the woman, making Kermit cringe. At Least he wasn't throwing harsh insults?
Smiling through it all, Kermit then asked, "Now, what do you want from little old me, Miss…?" Hopefully, a change in subject would distract Jaghatai enough not to throw something akin to a hard R in the language of the Dhrukaril; something that he had a feeling that the man was more than capable of doing. What he did not expect was what the woman would tell them.
"It's Lady Mayls and I come bearing news," The woman bowed before she continued, "Asdrubael plots to have your soul tortured and your torment harvested to power the city." This caught him completely by surprise. Jaghatai meanwhile looked wholly unimpressed.
"Wasn't that a given?" The man replied as he stroked his bear, "I'm actually quite surprised that he hasn't attempted to do so before now."
"Oh it is, but our little friend over here doesn't quite understand what he has landed himself in," The woman then said as she shrugged.
He stood there for a bit, mouth agape as he tried processing what she just told him, before he blurted out, "Excuse me, but he's going to do what to me and harvest what?!" He would then turn to his friend as he asked him, "And Jaghatai, you knew about this and you didn't tell me!?"
The man looked back at him mystified as he asked, "Wait, you're telling me you're not just playing nice with the Dhrukari?" There was a look of dawning realization in the man's face as he shouted back at him, "You actually believe their words?!"
"They're misunderstood!" He shouted back, his face burning as he defended the Dhrukari. This, however, got a laugh out of the woman.
"He is cute, yes, but he is not exactly that perceptive," She chuckled, making Kermit want to just curl up and disappear. "Dear Old One, just know that we are a very naughty race," The woman moaned out and Kermit felt like his cheeks were going to burst into flame. So there was truth to what Jaghatai had been telling all this time?
"Dear Emperor," Jaghatai sighed out as he dragged his palm across his face, "I thought you were just faking it, but no; you truly are just that friendly."
"I know I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but can we please get back to Aster trying to kill me?!" He blurted out, feeling all defensive. So the woman might have admitted that her people were evil. It could just be her being an asshole right? Surely, they can't all be bad. Then there was the matter of the head honcho wanting him dead. There were a lot of things to unpack, there.
"Eh, I don't see anything to worry about," Jaghatai dismissed his concerns as he turned towards the Dhrukari, "Unless your dear leader found a weapon that can knock out the Four, there is nothing to worry about,"
"But, but!" He blurted out, feeling afraid for once.
"From the looks of it, our visitor here is just trying to get into your good grace by scaring you and then telling you their truth to make them look good," Jaghatai accused them. Turning towards them, Kermit watched as the woman merely shrugged in reply.
"What harm is there in telling the truth?~" She fired back as she crossed her legs,"After all, being honest would surely be the best way to get into the good graces of a God. Are we all not on the same side?"
"Trusting a treacherous Druhkari?" Jaghatai scoffed, "Hah, don't make me laugh"
"Bwah?!" He blurted out, looking back and forth between them, "I'm… now confused. What's this about sides? Also, can someone please explain why both of you sound so unconcerned when there's someone planning bodily harm against me?!"
Jaghatai nodded as he began explaining by asking a simple question, "Ever had a pony try and bite you despite knowing that you can kill them at a moment's notice?"
Kermit paused, taken aback by the question as he tried thinking about it, "Well, I had my boss Chihuahua try and bite through my shoe once," Laughing at the memory, he added, "It was funny how angry they were."
"That's the situation you're facing right now," Jaghatai nodded, making him blink at such a comparison, "Asdrubael wishes to torture you, but he's in way over his head." The man had been telling him he was powerful, but he didn't feel powerful. He felt like his normal self and even if he could learn half of what Jaghatai could do, it's not like he'd be that much more powerful… right?
"But why?" He then asked. Why go through all that trouble just to get to him? Was it some sick kick for Asbull?
The woman gave Jaghatai a look before asking, "Are you going to tell him or shall I?"
The man gave him an evil look as he started to explain, "Kermit, when I told you that the Dhrukari are an evil race, I meant it in every sense of the word. The Druhkari as a species feed off torment." Looking back at him, he continued, "The stronger the creature, the better of a meal it would be and there is no bigger creature than what you are now, Kermit."
"It's not like we want to live like this," The woman scoffed as she turned away from them, "In order to live, we must inflict suffering upon others. That is merely the reality brought to us by living under the yoke of She Who Thirst," Smiling sadly, she then said, "If we don't feed off suffering, let's just say that she will suck us dry."
"Suffering that you brought upon your misbegotten race!" Jaghatai shouted back, making the woman grin. "And do not tell me that you can't live without it, for your cousins have done so for eons," He then argued. There were other kinds of elves? Come to think of it, he should have expected that.
"And live dull lives, without pleasure?" The woman chuckled darkly as she gave him a toothy smile that sent shivers of fear up his spine. "I'd sooner cut off my own tongue than become like those puritans," The woman proudly replied.
Sitting up from her seat, she then floated down toward them. Confidently, she walked towards them, not even flinching as Jaghatai stood up and towered over her as she landed in front of them, "Our very powers, the ones the Old Ones gifted us, would be weakened if we do not bow to their will," Looking up at Jaghatai, she continued, "Without it, we can't access our weapons and technology. Without our tools, how do you expect us to live then, Monkaigh?"
Baring her teeth, she then asked, "Should we just bow down and let our heads be cut off by your swords like your father intended?" The two faced off, daring each other to make the first strike. With the guard coming down soon after the woman, he had to intervene.
Before things came to blows, Kermit slipped his hands between them as he ordered. "Ok, back up." Making sure that they were well apart, he then asked, "She Who Thirst? Wait… is that why you all have this thin line tethering you to some place… or, rather, being?"
"Ahh, you see our souls getting siphoned then," The woman replied, sighing fondly as she asked, "Is it not a cruel fate? To be born knowing that you must torment others in order to live?"
"That does suck…" He admitted, "And I can see why Ascot want's to torture me… he could probably feed of me like I'm some prime cut of meat!" Things were coming together now. While he did not approve of him getting tortured, he could now see why.
"Indeed," The woman nodded before she continued,"But he will fail and once he angers you, my city will be gone and we can't have that. Thus, I offer you knowledge of all his plans as well as cover for your escape… so long as you support me on my endeavor to take control of the city."
"Hah! You think we need you to escape this prison? You must be just as mad as Vect," Jaghtai replied, before turning to him, "We do not need her help. Just wait for a few more days and both of us will be free."
"I…" he whispered before pausing as he considered their worlds, "Let me think," He hated that he was being made to choose. While she offered her help, in his ears, it sounded more like a plea for help. He could just leave now… but that would mean leaving them in this situation. They didn't choose to be like this, something was making them like this.
"Kermit, are you really going to trust her words?" Jaghtai asked before pointing at her, "Her species has brought nothing but misery to this galaxy, and for what? To continue living their lives without consequence?"
"That is true, but getting out would be problematic for you," The woman argued as she told him, "After all, you would have snapped my neck here and now if you could.~"
"Do not test me, witch,"Jaghtai hissed, "Your species' day of reckoning will come,"
"Like your signal calling in the forces of a Legion's worth of your precious soldiers into the very heart of Commorragh?" The woman replied, "Oh don't be surprised, subterfuge is not really your species greatest feat. You're better off actually just running around… well, up until you get caught once more."
That made Jaghtai freeze up. Was this what his friend had been planning all week, a rescue to help him? But this lady knew and if she knew… then the main man might know. The friends of his friend were in danger and it made his decision all the more easier.
"I'll help you," Kermit replied.
"Kermit!" Jaghtai turned to him, "My children knew what they signed themselves up for when they answered my call. We do not need their help. Nothing about her getting into power would help us."
Kermit nodded, which made Jaghtai look up at him in confusion, "Oh I think both of us can just kick the door open and walk out, but that doesn't really solve the main problem here," He then told them, earning a look of interest from the lady.
"Oho?" She replied.
Turning to her, he then said, "I'll help you… if you can promise me that you will help me stop the Dhrukari from being dicks."
"Have your friends not told you of my race's condition?" The woman sighed as she reminded him, "We are bound to She Who Thirst and we must feed off suffering. It is the only way we can live if we want to keep our way of life, one that is tied to our innate psychic might and one that will be dampened if we live like our cousins, the Eldari."
"But what if you can keep your power and not be dick to everyone?" He then said, and now even Jaghtai's attention was on him.
"While I hate them, I would admit that I am intrigued," Jaghtai told him, "But I have my concerns. You are powerful, yes, but you do not have the experience to wield this power. You can't will them to change. Even my father would balk at the prospect of changing the very nature of a being as complex as a Dhrukari."
"Wait, I can do that?" He asked before shaking his head as he got back on track, "But that's not what I want to do. I'm thinking more of… what if I just talk to She Who Thirst and make her stop trying to eat you guys?"
This got everyone to stop and look at him like he had just said something stupid. Blushing, he fired back, "What? I can do it!"
A/N:
Oh Kermit, you're too innocent for your own good. Still, without your optimism (and mind boggling strength), this potential and unholy alliance could not be possible. Dhrukari's are bastard but some can be smart about it. Kermit... Kermit just makes so many things possible. Heh, let's see the fireworks at the end of this road shall we~?
Anyways, I'd like to thank @vyor once more for making this possible. Praise be vyor cause I'll probably go a bit more stir crazy without him (and other friends) to keep me from going fully isolated. I really need to get out more often. Now if you want to support me or want to read some fic chapters in advance, consider dropping by either Patreon or Ko-Fi. Without my patreons, I wouldn't have been able to write this.
Speaking off, to that stuck around till this part, wanna read some Primarch SI where the Emperor gets to deal with having Grandchilden? Here, why not give it a read: https://www.patreon.com/posts/lawman-prologue-106440427
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Chapter 5
- Location
- A Tropical Island in the Pacific
A Court Date with Destiny
Kermit paced around his dark cell as the roar of the crowd rang just outside. Even from deep inside his prison, he could hear them celebrating. If not for Lady Malys's warning, he would have mistaken it for a joyous festival for his eventual release, but he now knew better. Commorragh was in the midst of celebration not for him but what they intended to do to him.
He shook his head as he let out a sigh. He should have listened to Red, that he should have booked it instead of getting captured. "Ok Kermit, don't beat yourself over it," He whispered, himself as he shook his hands, fanning himself to shake off all this pent up energy he felt, "It'll be over before you know it. Jaghatai and Lady Maly's have you covered. Go in, distract them all while your friends do the work, easy enough," he added as he patted himself on the cheeks.
Walking up to the door, he hopped up and grabbed the bars of the small window to the outside world. Pulling himself up, he peeked outside, trying to see if he could have a glance on his ride to the "court house." Indeed, outside was a simple cage, one barely big enough for him, atop some floating carriage. Surrounding it were some guards just lounging about, doing nothing all while he sat here.
He wasn't sure if they were trying to unnerve him by making him wait but if they did, it was definitely working. "Man, the wait is always the killer, huh?" He called out as he turned to his companion.
Gone was the unkempt, almost wild look of his fellow prisoner as he now sat there wearing his full regalia. With his head shaven save for a top knot, his tamed beard and suit of mechanized armor, he looked like a warrior straight out of some futuristic war setting… or maybe it was modern since he was here now rather than in the past.
As the man finished polishing his blade, he looked up to him and replied, "Kermit, are you sure you want to go through this?" Inspecting the wicked looking curved sword's edge, he then reminded him, "There are other ways, ways that do not require you to resist whatever Vect has in mind."
He nodded back as he dropped back down, "I could but this is the easiest way to get everyone important in one place," He replied, "Just like what Lady Malys said, everyone important would want a front row seat to the trial,"
This Gate of Khaine was to be where his trial would be held. For a place so close to the warp outside, it was quite a strange place to pick. It was rather deep within the city so it would be problematic to reach for any rescuing force. He wasn't sure what a legion was or how many those were, but Vect had an entire army and city to make it difficult; one more reason to go with a simple coup.
Sitting down, he let out a sigh as he continued, "It'll be much easier rounding them up there than scouring the city," There were other ways, but none easier than having them all in Khaine's Gate. He shivered at the thought of people fighting in the streets just to have him and Jaghatai rescued.
"If I chicken out, who knows what damage Vect can do. Not just to my friends, Red, but the people in the city!" He cried out. Turning to his friend, he then added, "The city's big even for me and that's a lot of misguided people and slaves that'd get hurt and I can't have that."
Letting out a shaky smile, he then said, "Jaghatai, it ain't worth my comfort if those people have to suffer." Maybe it was stupid, maybe he'd regret it later but if it was going to stop a lot of people getting hurt, it was definitely the option worth taking.
Closing his eyes, Jaghatai stayed silent before letting out a reluctant nod. He smiled at the man as his fellow prisoner looked up to him with a soft and pained smile. "You know Kermit, I miss the times when you were just a simple naive man," The man told him as he sheathed his sword.
He chuckled, smiling back as he sat down in front of his companion, "I ain't any different Jaghatai," He told him, "I'm just me."
"Indeed," The man smiled before it went away as a scowl took its place. With narrowed eyes, the grizzled warrior then admitted, "Still, I do not trust her," Sheathing his sword and standing up, he then continued, "And no, Kermit, this is not my racist thoughts creeping into my judgment, this is simply my view on her motives."
Kermit nodded back, "She freed her slaves and armed up the rebellion?" he replied, not sounding sure himself before he scratched his head, "And without her, I don't think we could have people in the city that don't enjoy living like this on our side." If there was one thing he had to give to the woman, she came with a plan when she visited them and, now, they were part of that plan.
While Commarragh was a city of the Dhrukari, he had come to the knowledge that its inhabitants were outnumbered by those they captured. Now if something were to happen and say… a certain number of slaves get a hand on weapons and maybe a few directions along with some "friendly" Dhrukari to aid them, things would get out of hand real fast.
"That is true," The old warrior begrudgingly admitted, "But she has more to gain from then she loses from the minor loss she takes," he then argued, "And who would replace the leaders of Commorragh once we took out her rivals?" He asked, making Kermit squirm uncomfortably.
Kermit didn't really like thinking much about it but Jaghatai's words were hitting quite close and the man wasn't quite finished yet, "That woman is no better than those she would replace. She might've shown acts that are commendable, but nothing that would have me put my trust on her."
"Have to admit, she feels like a slimy son of a gun," He confessed ,pausing a bit as he looked down, tucking his feet close to his chest.
For all the plans they had and how close they were getting to it, there was still that issue; a lack of trust. Nobody trusted anyone else. While he trusted Jaghatai, even he couldn't bring himself to fully trust the woman.
It seemed almost like they were being played, but he refused to believe it as he looked up to his companion, "But not everything in life is perfect. We just have to make due with the cards dealt to us," She might've not been perfect, she might've just been using them, but he had a bit of faith in her, "At the very least, she's looking out after herself and siding with us doesn't sound so sane if you're on the ruling side of things."
There was silence as Jaghatai looked up to him, staring back into him as if daring him to back those words up. Kermit however would not flinch. This was the best path forward and by jolly, Kermit was going to head down to it. He'd rather give someone a bit of faith rather than not and regret not knowing if he could trust them.
Laughter soon came bubbling out of the man's chest, "I suppose we do, I suppose we do," the man sighed out fondly before holding his hands up for an apology, "I apologize. It's just that you remind me of my brother… he was a nice man. No wonder Magnus likes you."
Kermit beamed at the praise and was about to reply when a sharp whistle rang through the air. "Old One, your trial is about to start. Your ride to Khaine's Gate is ready," the warden called out as the man tapped at his cell's thick metal door.
"Just a sec!" he excused himself, "Just tidying up the place before I go! Don't want to leave this cell a mess for those after me!"
There was a brief pause before the warden shouted back, "Take your time!"
"Thank you!" He thanked the man, "And tell the missus that I'll miss their cooking!" There was some chuckling before they were finally left alone once more.
"And so the hour of reckoning has come," Jaghatai said solemnly as he sat up. Looking back at him, he then reminded him once more, "You know, there is still time for you to change your mind, my friend."
Kermit just smiled back as he replied, "Nah, I'm good," Shooing the man away, he then urged him, "Now go on before they see you, the rebellion needs their general." He had made up his mind and nothing was going to change it. Now, he just had to play his part so that his friend could help him rescue not just Red and the Elf Lady, but everyone that was oppressed here in the city. They were going to Spartacus this… without the dying part, hopefully.
"I admire you Kermit, I wish we had more men like you," the man told him as he gave him a pat against his shin, "Now, you just distract them long enough for our men to get in position. They will have the mask of the Harlequins," He reminded him.
"Ohh, can I signal you guys?" he asked excitedly, "I'm going to make a call and then you guys spring into action." It was a bit childish, but that was half the fun of things.
The man hummed as he replied, "We already have the bells around Commaragh ringing as a signal…" This quickly put a dampener on his mood, but the man wasn't quite finished as he flashed him a smile. Perking up, Kermit listened in rapt attention as the man then said, "But the attack on Khaine's gate doesn't have a signal, so I don't see why not? What'll it be though?"
"You'll know when you hear it," he replied, chuckling at the thought of saying those words. It'd definitely catch their attention, though he hoped he wouldn't be too distracting.
The man simply grinned before giving him a salute. "Good luck out there," He told him before he disappeared into the shadows and the pipes leading out to the city. Just as he disappeared, the door to his cell then opened. His ride to the city was now waiting for him.
As he walked out of his cell and was escorted to the barge the carried his cage, his warden would stop, "Wait, hold on," The man called out as an important looking fellow whispered into his ears. Smiling from ear to ear, the man then turned to him as he told, "Well It looks like it's your lucky day Old One! Vect sent you a meal! Now isn't that lovely."
Turning around, he came face to face with a very juicy looking steak. Licking his lips, he thanked his lucky stars. He'd face the music… after he finished his steak.
The ride to Khaine's Gate was not as bad as he thought it'd be. Sure the cage was spiky, and he feared that he'd need to get a tetanus shot after with all the rust coating it, but it was tolerable, especially as he was with a dear friend. "Man, I missed you so much Red," He told his sparkly companion as he held him in his arms.
It had only been a week but things sure had changed. Red was getting more discernible features. He wasn't just an angry floating head but, a cyclopean one that was spitting out proverbialt fire.
"Hey!" The ball of sparkles protested, trying to pull itself off his grasp but his amphibian digits would prove to be too sticky for him. The shining star was visibly radiating anger and annoyance as he shone brightly.
"Come on Red, it's not that bad," He chuckled, giving him a pat as he finally let him go, "At Least they didn't make you work!" He jested, trying to make light of the situation.
His companion would let out a huff as he gave him a side eye, his features scowling as he fired back, "Hey…"
Kermit held up his hands in surrender, accepting his friends point, "Ok, I wasn't stuffed in a box and hung up in the ceiling, but I'll make it up to you." Giving him a conspiratorial smile, he then added, "Just hang in there a bit, I swear it'll be worth the wait,"
"Hey?" His companion questioned, their brow raising as they looked at him, intrigued.
Winking at him, he shifted on his seat, trying to get a more comfortable position as he replied, "It's a surprise." With such a tight cage, just barely big enough for him to sit inside, getting all restless proved to be painful, almost quite literally. Still, he didn't have to wait for too long as the massive gate finally came into view.
Even from a distance, the gate dominated the skyline. Large, imposing, and with a solid slab slotted in the circular portal embedded to the very fabric of the webway. "Khaine's Gate, man they really didn't pull their punches making this huh?" he whispered in awe.
"Hey." His companion, for once, didn't sass him out as he nodded.
The gate's enormity and grandeur simply drew in all eyes. For once in his time there in the weird galaxy, he felt tiny. Unlike his cell, which was just his size, this door… The Gate was made to have an army of himself walk under its brutalist structure.
As they approached closer, he started to hear Vect's voice calling out, "Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls, are you ready!" and the roar that followed was almost deafening. It was not a mere crowd that gathered, nor a simple multitude, for what he heard was far too much. They'd come in their millions, each one trying to be heard above the rest.
Their cries melded with each other but even above the din, he could hear one name chanted over the rest. "Vect! Vect! Vect!" the crowd cried out, calling to the man. It was almost impressive how he could whip up such a frenzy, but he refused to let himself chicken out, especially now that they'd arrived.
Before the great gate was an arena, one which looked recently built as it stood out amongst the already eclectic architecture. In one of the side gates they were brought into the buildings, away from prying eyes. Passing mechanisms and sweaty slaves, they stopped short of the entrance just in time for Kermit to hear the rest of the man's speech.
"Today, you my beloved subjects would get to see them for your own eyes," Vect announced as the crowd grow louder. "Today, we shall come face to face with those that stood heads and shoulders above the very gods themselves, those who ruled the heavens!" The man continued as the cheers slowly peaked, reaching a crescendo at his final words, "Today, we get to meet our maker!"
With a jolt, his cart was pushed forward as light flooded his eyes. Shielding himself from the spotlight, he was almost deafened as Vect introduced him, "I present to you, the last scion of our long lost creators; Kermit!"
"Oh wow," Kermit whispered in awe as they were dragged before the massive gates. Rows upon rows of cheering spectators greeted them with false cheers, chanting his name as if he was to be celebrated.
If he didn't know any better, he would have believed them. Knowing Vect's plans, he could see it in their eyes; the mocking gaze hidden behind fake smiles and platitudes. He wasn't cheered on to be celebrated, they celebrated for what was about to happen to him. It was a bit disheartening seeing so many people here like them, but he still had a role to play.
Red almost charged out of the cage but he held him back before giving him a wink, "Just stay silent and play along ok?" There was a look of uncertainty in their eyes but they relented, letting Kermit perform.
They weren't the only ones capable of deception, two could play that game. Keeping his friendly smile, he waved around, greeting them back, "Hi everyone!"
They responded with hoots and cheers. He waved back, sending kisses and thanks as he kept eyes on him. It certainly made it easy for the clowns to set up in place, their visages slipping through the roofs and shadows. So far, so good.
Vect, up in his stand, let it play out for a time while he sat in his throne before he raised his hands, commanding his subjects, "Silence!"
Immediately, the Colosseum quieted down, the people talking in a whispered hush, Vext slowly rose from his seat. With an imperious look in his gaze and a warm, yet smug smirk in his lips, Vect then asked, "Now, how was your meal Kermit. I hope that it was to your liking?"
Looking up to him, he could see Lady Malys amongst the important looking people surrounding Vect's stand. Behind her was a towering warrior who's gaze was half hidden behind a clown's mask. It looks like his two co-conspirators were in place.
Nodding, he replied, "It was good! I didn't know they could make steaks that big!" He didn't even have to lie about it. Just thinking about the meal made him drool, though a bit too much as he had to wipe his lips.
The man laughed magnanimously as he replied, "Oh it's a simple of matter of alchemy my dear," Lifting up a cup, a wine bearer poured him a drink as he commented, "Squigs are surprisingly accepting of mutations that makes them bigger," Well, that was definitely going into the bucket of things to eat again.
"Compliments to the…" He replied before blinked as the world started to tilt. He flailed about, trying to steady himself but he planted face first none the lest. Laying down, he tried getting up but his limbs felt like noodles, unable to even move as he exclaimed, "Oh fuck, why do my limbs feel so numb!"
"Hey!" His companion exclaimed before turning towards Vect, screaming a way cry as they charged up against the bars. Unfortunately, some force kept them in and even zapped the poor fellow. Things were going sideways and he didn't like it one bit.
Was this part of the plan? Looking up, he could see the surprise in Maly's face and the tenseness in Jaghatai's form, making him panic inside. Not part of the plan! Definitely not part of the plan!
As if savoring his fear, Vect laughed as he replied, "I'll pass on the word," Taking a sip from his cup, he let out a satisfied sigh as he then told him, "My cook is just terrific when he makes his signature dish. With his finely crafted spice blend and wonderful sear, it's almost impossible to make out the paralytic toxins.~"
Kermit felt his blood run cold. So sure was he of his strength and toughness that he didn't account for this. Vect continued speaking but Red would cut them off as they banged against the cage, making a ruckus with all the sparks they made. "Hey!" The spicy head shouted in anger, making Vect scowl.
"Guards, take this annoying little shard away from here," The Dhrukari growled out, sneering at them, "he's ruining my gloating session."
"Hey!" The tiny sprite fought valiantly as the cage was opened but it would prove futile as he was captured. "Hey-!" they screamed out in pain as they were zapped by some ugly looking witch before they were dragged away.
"No! Don't touch him!" He exclaimed, in panic. It was barely a minute in and things were going bad. The bells he was told about hadn't rang yet and things were looking a bit dire. They needed more time, he needed to distract them without the need for limbs.
"I thought this was a court case!" He exclaimed, making a scene as he tried rolling about, "I did my time, let us go!"
"Oh this is simply adorable," the man let out a mocking laugh as he looked down upon them. Leaning closer, he then asked, "You really think I'm just going to let such a wonderful specimen such as yourself get away?" He then scoffed as a cruel sneer now stretched across their face, "Such foolishness, such naivety, it's almost sickening how all this power is stuck with you."
Standing up, he walked to the edge of his stand, hands behind his back as he kept his gaze on him, unmindful of the giant slowly slipping up to his throne. Doing his best not to stare, Kermit kept his gaze on tha man as they continued gloating, "You know, I have to thank you really," Before he could react, ropes were tied on him and he was dragged out of his cage. "Not only did you bring out beloved goddess into our city, but you, the perfect battery, came with her.~"
Hauled up to a table with thick metal bindings, he was strapped in, spread eagle. As anger bubbled up in him, he shouted, "What the hell did you do to her, Asspull?" He hated how he'd been played, "We had a deal!"
The man breathed in sharply, fist shaking before he let out a breath as he collected himself, "Isha? I simply gave her the treatment she deserves," The man then replied, making his blood run cold. Bracing for whatever cruelty the man had in mind, he almost couldn't believe his next words, "She's being attended to by our best doctors and healers," the man claimed.
"Wait, really?" He asked in disbelief.
This made the man scoff, offended by his question. "What? You think I'm some sort of uncultured monster?" The man questioned him with a frown, "I'm a Dhurkari, I have standards and touching the goddess that my ancestors worshiped would simply not do." The man insisted.
Standing proudly, the man claimed, "No one will lay a hand on her while I draw breath," right before his cruel smiled returned as he then said, "You my adorable little amphibian, not so much."
Kermit steadied his breathing as he hung there, trying to calm himself. As bad as things were, it was still going fine now that he had time to think. He just needed to keep things up, keep them all focused on him. These people loved the outrage, the drama, he just needed to keep feeding that need.
"You think you scare me?" he cried out as a bit of fear and hesitation bled in, "Come on, give me your best shot! If a fall from orbit can't hurt me, how can you?" He then asked. He was paralyzed but surely, they didn't have something that could seriously threaten him, right?
"That would be a problem wouldn't it? That annoyingly tough skin of yours, I doubt there's anything in our arsenal that could hurt you," The man lamented before he snapped his finger. There was a rumble behind him as he felt a cold dreadful feeling spread out. He could feel his non-existent hair rising as this thing, this horrid thing came closer, "But that doesn't mean that nothing could harm you."
He struggled, trying to flee, the animalistic side of his mind screaming of danger, but he was a captive audience. "But before I reveal my lovely little tool, let me tell you a story," the man whispered as he told him a tale concerning his people.
"Long ago, long before the Warp became turbulent and corrupted, when it was the Sea of Souls, your people lived in harmony," the man started as the stand he was on detached, almost knocking Jaghatai off the platform. Floating up, it approached him, bringing Vect closer, "As the first beings in the galaxy, your kind became shepherds, gardeners to an oasis."
"Everything was fine, until you started a war with a race that you did not create," The man then said as he tried to steady his loudly beating heart, trying desperately not to scream out for help, "It was a brutal and terrible war, so much so that you created us to fight for you."
"Things, however, did not go smoothly as, eventually, both sides were so worn out that, in the end," The man then concluded as he now floated before him, their eyes level with each other. With a gesture, Kermit felt the table he was strapped two turn ever slowly, "All that was left were you creations to take up what was left"
"Now, I'm guessing you're wondering, why bring up such ancient history? Why bring up a race that is no longer relevant to this day and age?" He then asked as Kermit saw it, the black horrid object now pointed at him. He could feel his breath freeze, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest as the baleful green light shone on to him, "Let me tell you a little secret, your enemies made weapons to kill your kind, and guess who has one."
Kermit could only swallow as he found himself face to face with the barrel of said weapon, the handle strapped to a mechanism as a group of people operated it. The cold, hard length of the weapon stood there unmoving but a single twitch, a single wrong word and he knew this would be the end of his story.
"Lovely, isn't it?" Vect then said as his platform floated over to the weapon. Hoping off his stand, Vect stood beside the cruel looking weapon and laid his hands against its black surface, "It cost me quite a bit to get this off the hand of Trazyn the Infinite, but it's well worth it. After all, who would say no to a weapon that could kill you in one shot?" He might have chewed a bit more than he could chew.
Caressing the weapon, Vect then said, "Just looking at it makes you ill, a perfectly natural reaction." With a glance to the operators, the weapon started glowing all while he stared down the barrel of his doom. "After all, this is the kind of weapon that is made to kill anything with even a remote link to the warp and as a creature of pure psychic might… this will hurt, a lot,"
"One shot is all it takes and you'll be gone," The man taunted. Kermit knew he was bluffing, but it was hard not to be afraid now he was face to face with something that could kill him. It was not an if, but a certainty, a feeling of absolute terror that his very soul knew what damage this thing could cause.
As the light grew brighter, the very air screaming as it drew in the very fabric of space into its barrel, the man then said, "Quick, simple, and easy… but that would be boring wouldn't it? How about we make you scream first?"
Flinching away, he barely had time to brace himself as the man screamed out, "Fire up the laser!"
There was silence, before the baleful green light consumed everything. He screamed, bucking against his restraint he felt it course through his veins, "Stop! Oh god, make it stop!" He begged them as he started laughing, robbing him of his breath.
"Oh man does that have a kick!" The man screamed as every Dhrukari glowed, their screams of delight feeling the stadium, "How does it feel Kermit? How does it feel to have your soul getting slowly ripped apa-! Are you laughing?! Why are you laughing!" the man gloated before he noticed his laughter.
"Oh god, I'm going to pee!" He cried, wheezing as tears feel down his cheeks, "It tickles! Shtap!" he begged them once more. He bucked, strength returning to his limbs as a desperate strength filled him in his struggle.
"God damn it all! Don't ruin this with your laughter!" the man fumed, stomping his feet "Stop laughing! I command you!"
"I can't! I can't help myself!" He wheezed out, feeling his sides seizing up and hurting from his laughter. He was going to die, he was going to die of laughter.
Stomping over to the operator, Vect demanded, "Crank up the weapon! I want a real scream, not this vanilla nonsense!"
Kermit screamed louder, fear seizing his heart once more as the light intensified. For a brief second, he felt like he was going to break, his spine aching as he bucked harder, trying to get away from the tickling beam before it stopped.
The weapon wined down before it stopped, its baleful green glow dimming before it became an inert black object. Coughing, he sagged against his bonds as he whispered out hoarsely, "Oh thank god, finally,"
As he caught his breath, he then heard some argument from the weapon platform. "What do you mean it ran out of battery!? Trazyn you fucker!" The man screamed in an all too familiar tone of s man that was cheated.
"You asked for a weapon to kill me but he didn't give you enough bullets, huh?" He mocked the man as he felt his limbs move but not enough to escape his bond. That wouldn't matter however as he soon heard the bells start ringing.
There was a confused murmur amongst the crowd as Kermit shrugged, "Welp, while I'd hate to dampen the party even more, I think it's time we drop this charade," It was finally time, the party had begun. Breathing in, he let out the warcry of the revolution, "Caw Caw! Caw caw!"
His moment of glory was dampened as he was only met with confused silence. Even Jaghatai himself, just meters away from Vect and Kermit himself, looked confused. "What?" Vect then asked, quirking a brow at him, "What are these bird noises that you make? Stop this nonsense at once!"
Kermit gave Jaghatai a good long stare as he once more cried out, "I said, Caw Caw, Caw Caw!"
Finally, a hint of recognition flashed over Jaghatai's face. Grabbing his cowl, he ripped them off revealing his form as he pulled out sword, "Well you heard the man, attack!" That one was all it took for pandemonium to descend in the arena as his people attacked.
"You son of a bitch!" Vect screamed as he pulled out his sword, blocking a slash from Jaghatai.
A/N:
Viva La Revolution! Kermit just sparked himself a revolution. This is mostly Lady Maly's and Jaghatai's plan but having Vect out of the picture just makes things easier for Kermit. He gets to curb some of the Dhrukari's cruelty and it gives him time to fix thier little problem. The fact that it makes Jaghatai happy, as he gets to lead a rebellion, while Maly's gets her place in power is just the cherry on top of it all. Everyone wins... well except Vect lol.
Anyways, I'd like to thank @vyor once more for making this possible. Praise be vyor cause without him, I might have forgotten half the things I had thought up. Now if you want to support me or want to read some fic chapters in advance, consider dropping by either Patreon or Ko-Fi. Without my patreons, I wouldn't have been able to write this. Also, shoutout to Old Man in the Mountain. He's the one bank rolling this!
Kermit paced around his dark cell as the roar of the crowd rang just outside. Even from deep inside his prison, he could hear them celebrating. If not for Lady Malys's warning, he would have mistaken it for a joyous festival for his eventual release, but he now knew better. Commorragh was in the midst of celebration not for him but what they intended to do to him.
He shook his head as he let out a sigh. He should have listened to Red, that he should have booked it instead of getting captured. "Ok Kermit, don't beat yourself over it," He whispered, himself as he shook his hands, fanning himself to shake off all this pent up energy he felt, "It'll be over before you know it. Jaghatai and Lady Maly's have you covered. Go in, distract them all while your friends do the work, easy enough," he added as he patted himself on the cheeks.
Walking up to the door, he hopped up and grabbed the bars of the small window to the outside world. Pulling himself up, he peeked outside, trying to see if he could have a glance on his ride to the "court house." Indeed, outside was a simple cage, one barely big enough for him, atop some floating carriage. Surrounding it were some guards just lounging about, doing nothing all while he sat here.
He wasn't sure if they were trying to unnerve him by making him wait but if they did, it was definitely working. "Man, the wait is always the killer, huh?" He called out as he turned to his companion.
Gone was the unkempt, almost wild look of his fellow prisoner as he now sat there wearing his full regalia. With his head shaven save for a top knot, his tamed beard and suit of mechanized armor, he looked like a warrior straight out of some futuristic war setting… or maybe it was modern since he was here now rather than in the past.
As the man finished polishing his blade, he looked up to him and replied, "Kermit, are you sure you want to go through this?" Inspecting the wicked looking curved sword's edge, he then reminded him, "There are other ways, ways that do not require you to resist whatever Vect has in mind."
He nodded back as he dropped back down, "I could but this is the easiest way to get everyone important in one place," He replied, "Just like what Lady Malys said, everyone important would want a front row seat to the trial,"
This Gate of Khaine was to be where his trial would be held. For a place so close to the warp outside, it was quite a strange place to pick. It was rather deep within the city so it would be problematic to reach for any rescuing force. He wasn't sure what a legion was or how many those were, but Vect had an entire army and city to make it difficult; one more reason to go with a simple coup.
Sitting down, he let out a sigh as he continued, "It'll be much easier rounding them up there than scouring the city," There were other ways, but none easier than having them all in Khaine's Gate. He shivered at the thought of people fighting in the streets just to have him and Jaghatai rescued.
"If I chicken out, who knows what damage Vect can do. Not just to my friends, Red, but the people in the city!" He cried out. Turning to his friend, he then added, "The city's big even for me and that's a lot of misguided people and slaves that'd get hurt and I can't have that."
Letting out a shaky smile, he then said, "Jaghatai, it ain't worth my comfort if those people have to suffer." Maybe it was stupid, maybe he'd regret it later but if it was going to stop a lot of people getting hurt, it was definitely the option worth taking.
Closing his eyes, Jaghatai stayed silent before letting out a reluctant nod. He smiled at the man as his fellow prisoner looked up to him with a soft and pained smile. "You know Kermit, I miss the times when you were just a simple naive man," The man told him as he sheathed his sword.
He chuckled, smiling back as he sat down in front of his companion, "I ain't any different Jaghatai," He told him, "I'm just me."
"Indeed," The man smiled before it went away as a scowl took its place. With narrowed eyes, the grizzled warrior then admitted, "Still, I do not trust her," Sheathing his sword and standing up, he then continued, "And no, Kermit, this is not my racist thoughts creeping into my judgment, this is simply my view on her motives."
Kermit nodded back, "She freed her slaves and armed up the rebellion?" he replied, not sounding sure himself before he scratched his head, "And without her, I don't think we could have people in the city that don't enjoy living like this on our side." If there was one thing he had to give to the woman, she came with a plan when she visited them and, now, they were part of that plan.
While Commarragh was a city of the Dhrukari, he had come to the knowledge that its inhabitants were outnumbered by those they captured. Now if something were to happen and say… a certain number of slaves get a hand on weapons and maybe a few directions along with some "friendly" Dhrukari to aid them, things would get out of hand real fast.
"That is true," The old warrior begrudgingly admitted, "But she has more to gain from then she loses from the minor loss she takes," he then argued, "And who would replace the leaders of Commorragh once we took out her rivals?" He asked, making Kermit squirm uncomfortably.
Kermit didn't really like thinking much about it but Jaghatai's words were hitting quite close and the man wasn't quite finished yet, "That woman is no better than those she would replace. She might've shown acts that are commendable, but nothing that would have me put my trust on her."
"Have to admit, she feels like a slimy son of a gun," He confessed ,pausing a bit as he looked down, tucking his feet close to his chest.
For all the plans they had and how close they were getting to it, there was still that issue; a lack of trust. Nobody trusted anyone else. While he trusted Jaghatai, even he couldn't bring himself to fully trust the woman.
It seemed almost like they were being played, but he refused to believe it as he looked up to his companion, "But not everything in life is perfect. We just have to make due with the cards dealt to us," She might've not been perfect, she might've just been using them, but he had a bit of faith in her, "At the very least, she's looking out after herself and siding with us doesn't sound so sane if you're on the ruling side of things."
There was silence as Jaghatai looked up to him, staring back into him as if daring him to back those words up. Kermit however would not flinch. This was the best path forward and by jolly, Kermit was going to head down to it. He'd rather give someone a bit of faith rather than not and regret not knowing if he could trust them.
Laughter soon came bubbling out of the man's chest, "I suppose we do, I suppose we do," the man sighed out fondly before holding his hands up for an apology, "I apologize. It's just that you remind me of my brother… he was a nice man. No wonder Magnus likes you."
Kermit beamed at the praise and was about to reply when a sharp whistle rang through the air. "Old One, your trial is about to start. Your ride to Khaine's Gate is ready," the warden called out as the man tapped at his cell's thick metal door.
"Just a sec!" he excused himself, "Just tidying up the place before I go! Don't want to leave this cell a mess for those after me!"
There was a brief pause before the warden shouted back, "Take your time!"
"Thank you!" He thanked the man, "And tell the missus that I'll miss their cooking!" There was some chuckling before they were finally left alone once more.
"And so the hour of reckoning has come," Jaghatai said solemnly as he sat up. Looking back at him, he then reminded him once more, "You know, there is still time for you to change your mind, my friend."
Kermit just smiled back as he replied, "Nah, I'm good," Shooing the man away, he then urged him, "Now go on before they see you, the rebellion needs their general." He had made up his mind and nothing was going to change it. Now, he just had to play his part so that his friend could help him rescue not just Red and the Elf Lady, but everyone that was oppressed here in the city. They were going to Spartacus this… without the dying part, hopefully.
"I admire you Kermit, I wish we had more men like you," the man told him as he gave him a pat against his shin, "Now, you just distract them long enough for our men to get in position. They will have the mask of the Harlequins," He reminded him.
"Ohh, can I signal you guys?" he asked excitedly, "I'm going to make a call and then you guys spring into action." It was a bit childish, but that was half the fun of things.
The man hummed as he replied, "We already have the bells around Commaragh ringing as a signal…" This quickly put a dampener on his mood, but the man wasn't quite finished as he flashed him a smile. Perking up, Kermit listened in rapt attention as the man then said, "But the attack on Khaine's gate doesn't have a signal, so I don't see why not? What'll it be though?"
"You'll know when you hear it," he replied, chuckling at the thought of saying those words. It'd definitely catch their attention, though he hoped he wouldn't be too distracting.
The man simply grinned before giving him a salute. "Good luck out there," He told him before he disappeared into the shadows and the pipes leading out to the city. Just as he disappeared, the door to his cell then opened. His ride to the city was now waiting for him.
As he walked out of his cell and was escorted to the barge the carried his cage, his warden would stop, "Wait, hold on," The man called out as an important looking fellow whispered into his ears. Smiling from ear to ear, the man then turned to him as he told, "Well It looks like it's your lucky day Old One! Vect sent you a meal! Now isn't that lovely."
Turning around, he came face to face with a very juicy looking steak. Licking his lips, he thanked his lucky stars. He'd face the music… after he finished his steak.
The ride to Khaine's Gate was not as bad as he thought it'd be. Sure the cage was spiky, and he feared that he'd need to get a tetanus shot after with all the rust coating it, but it was tolerable, especially as he was with a dear friend. "Man, I missed you so much Red," He told his sparkly companion as he held him in his arms.
It had only been a week but things sure had changed. Red was getting more discernible features. He wasn't just an angry floating head but, a cyclopean one that was spitting out proverbialt fire.
"Hey!" The ball of sparkles protested, trying to pull itself off his grasp but his amphibian digits would prove to be too sticky for him. The shining star was visibly radiating anger and annoyance as he shone brightly.
"Come on Red, it's not that bad," He chuckled, giving him a pat as he finally let him go, "At Least they didn't make you work!" He jested, trying to make light of the situation.
His companion would let out a huff as he gave him a side eye, his features scowling as he fired back, "Hey…"
Kermit held up his hands in surrender, accepting his friends point, "Ok, I wasn't stuffed in a box and hung up in the ceiling, but I'll make it up to you." Giving him a conspiratorial smile, he then added, "Just hang in there a bit, I swear it'll be worth the wait,"
"Hey?" His companion questioned, their brow raising as they looked at him, intrigued.
Winking at him, he shifted on his seat, trying to get a more comfortable position as he replied, "It's a surprise." With such a tight cage, just barely big enough for him to sit inside, getting all restless proved to be painful, almost quite literally. Still, he didn't have to wait for too long as the massive gate finally came into view.
Even from a distance, the gate dominated the skyline. Large, imposing, and with a solid slab slotted in the circular portal embedded to the very fabric of the webway. "Khaine's Gate, man they really didn't pull their punches making this huh?" he whispered in awe.
"Hey." His companion, for once, didn't sass him out as he nodded.
The gate's enormity and grandeur simply drew in all eyes. For once in his time there in the weird galaxy, he felt tiny. Unlike his cell, which was just his size, this door… The Gate was made to have an army of himself walk under its brutalist structure.
As they approached closer, he started to hear Vect's voice calling out, "Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls, are you ready!" and the roar that followed was almost deafening. It was not a mere crowd that gathered, nor a simple multitude, for what he heard was far too much. They'd come in their millions, each one trying to be heard above the rest.
Their cries melded with each other but even above the din, he could hear one name chanted over the rest. "Vect! Vect! Vect!" the crowd cried out, calling to the man. It was almost impressive how he could whip up such a frenzy, but he refused to let himself chicken out, especially now that they'd arrived.
Before the great gate was an arena, one which looked recently built as it stood out amongst the already eclectic architecture. In one of the side gates they were brought into the buildings, away from prying eyes. Passing mechanisms and sweaty slaves, they stopped short of the entrance just in time for Kermit to hear the rest of the man's speech.
"Today, you my beloved subjects would get to see them for your own eyes," Vect announced as the crowd grow louder. "Today, we shall come face to face with those that stood heads and shoulders above the very gods themselves, those who ruled the heavens!" The man continued as the cheers slowly peaked, reaching a crescendo at his final words, "Today, we get to meet our maker!"
With a jolt, his cart was pushed forward as light flooded his eyes. Shielding himself from the spotlight, he was almost deafened as Vect introduced him, "I present to you, the last scion of our long lost creators; Kermit!"
"Oh wow," Kermit whispered in awe as they were dragged before the massive gates. Rows upon rows of cheering spectators greeted them with false cheers, chanting his name as if he was to be celebrated.
If he didn't know any better, he would have believed them. Knowing Vect's plans, he could see it in their eyes; the mocking gaze hidden behind fake smiles and platitudes. He wasn't cheered on to be celebrated, they celebrated for what was about to happen to him. It was a bit disheartening seeing so many people here like them, but he still had a role to play.
Red almost charged out of the cage but he held him back before giving him a wink, "Just stay silent and play along ok?" There was a look of uncertainty in their eyes but they relented, letting Kermit perform.
They weren't the only ones capable of deception, two could play that game. Keeping his friendly smile, he waved around, greeting them back, "Hi everyone!"
They responded with hoots and cheers. He waved back, sending kisses and thanks as he kept eyes on him. It certainly made it easy for the clowns to set up in place, their visages slipping through the roofs and shadows. So far, so good.
Vect, up in his stand, let it play out for a time while he sat in his throne before he raised his hands, commanding his subjects, "Silence!"
Immediately, the Colosseum quieted down, the people talking in a whispered hush, Vext slowly rose from his seat. With an imperious look in his gaze and a warm, yet smug smirk in his lips, Vect then asked, "Now, how was your meal Kermit. I hope that it was to your liking?"
Looking up to him, he could see Lady Malys amongst the important looking people surrounding Vect's stand. Behind her was a towering warrior who's gaze was half hidden behind a clown's mask. It looks like his two co-conspirators were in place.
Nodding, he replied, "It was good! I didn't know they could make steaks that big!" He didn't even have to lie about it. Just thinking about the meal made him drool, though a bit too much as he had to wipe his lips.
The man laughed magnanimously as he replied, "Oh it's a simple of matter of alchemy my dear," Lifting up a cup, a wine bearer poured him a drink as he commented, "Squigs are surprisingly accepting of mutations that makes them bigger," Well, that was definitely going into the bucket of things to eat again.
"Compliments to the…" He replied before blinked as the world started to tilt. He flailed about, trying to steady himself but he planted face first none the lest. Laying down, he tried getting up but his limbs felt like noodles, unable to even move as he exclaimed, "Oh fuck, why do my limbs feel so numb!"
"Hey!" His companion exclaimed before turning towards Vect, screaming a way cry as they charged up against the bars. Unfortunately, some force kept them in and even zapped the poor fellow. Things were going sideways and he didn't like it one bit.
Was this part of the plan? Looking up, he could see the surprise in Maly's face and the tenseness in Jaghatai's form, making him panic inside. Not part of the plan! Definitely not part of the plan!
As if savoring his fear, Vect laughed as he replied, "I'll pass on the word," Taking a sip from his cup, he let out a satisfied sigh as he then told him, "My cook is just terrific when he makes his signature dish. With his finely crafted spice blend and wonderful sear, it's almost impossible to make out the paralytic toxins.~"
Kermit felt his blood run cold. So sure was he of his strength and toughness that he didn't account for this. Vect continued speaking but Red would cut them off as they banged against the cage, making a ruckus with all the sparks they made. "Hey!" The spicy head shouted in anger, making Vect scowl.
"Guards, take this annoying little shard away from here," The Dhrukari growled out, sneering at them, "he's ruining my gloating session."
"Hey!" The tiny sprite fought valiantly as the cage was opened but it would prove futile as he was captured. "Hey-!" they screamed out in pain as they were zapped by some ugly looking witch before they were dragged away.
"No! Don't touch him!" He exclaimed, in panic. It was barely a minute in and things were going bad. The bells he was told about hadn't rang yet and things were looking a bit dire. They needed more time, he needed to distract them without the need for limbs.
"I thought this was a court case!" He exclaimed, making a scene as he tried rolling about, "I did my time, let us go!"
"Oh this is simply adorable," the man let out a mocking laugh as he looked down upon them. Leaning closer, he then asked, "You really think I'm just going to let such a wonderful specimen such as yourself get away?" He then scoffed as a cruel sneer now stretched across their face, "Such foolishness, such naivety, it's almost sickening how all this power is stuck with you."
Standing up, he walked to the edge of his stand, hands behind his back as he kept his gaze on him, unmindful of the giant slowly slipping up to his throne. Doing his best not to stare, Kermit kept his gaze on tha man as they continued gloating, "You know, I have to thank you really," Before he could react, ropes were tied on him and he was dragged out of his cage. "Not only did you bring out beloved goddess into our city, but you, the perfect battery, came with her.~"
Hauled up to a table with thick metal bindings, he was strapped in, spread eagle. As anger bubbled up in him, he shouted, "What the hell did you do to her, Asspull?" He hated how he'd been played, "We had a deal!"
The man breathed in sharply, fist shaking before he let out a breath as he collected himself, "Isha? I simply gave her the treatment she deserves," The man then replied, making his blood run cold. Bracing for whatever cruelty the man had in mind, he almost couldn't believe his next words, "She's being attended to by our best doctors and healers," the man claimed.
"Wait, really?" He asked in disbelief.
This made the man scoff, offended by his question. "What? You think I'm some sort of uncultured monster?" The man questioned him with a frown, "I'm a Dhurkari, I have standards and touching the goddess that my ancestors worshiped would simply not do." The man insisted.
Standing proudly, the man claimed, "No one will lay a hand on her while I draw breath," right before his cruel smiled returned as he then said, "You my adorable little amphibian, not so much."
Kermit steadied his breathing as he hung there, trying to calm himself. As bad as things were, it was still going fine now that he had time to think. He just needed to keep things up, keep them all focused on him. These people loved the outrage, the drama, he just needed to keep feeding that need.
"You think you scare me?" he cried out as a bit of fear and hesitation bled in, "Come on, give me your best shot! If a fall from orbit can't hurt me, how can you?" He then asked. He was paralyzed but surely, they didn't have something that could seriously threaten him, right?
"That would be a problem wouldn't it? That annoyingly tough skin of yours, I doubt there's anything in our arsenal that could hurt you," The man lamented before he snapped his finger. There was a rumble behind him as he felt a cold dreadful feeling spread out. He could feel his non-existent hair rising as this thing, this horrid thing came closer, "But that doesn't mean that nothing could harm you."
He struggled, trying to flee, the animalistic side of his mind screaming of danger, but he was a captive audience. "But before I reveal my lovely little tool, let me tell you a story," the man whispered as he told him a tale concerning his people.
"Long ago, long before the Warp became turbulent and corrupted, when it was the Sea of Souls, your people lived in harmony," the man started as the stand he was on detached, almost knocking Jaghatai off the platform. Floating up, it approached him, bringing Vect closer, "As the first beings in the galaxy, your kind became shepherds, gardeners to an oasis."
"Everything was fine, until you started a war with a race that you did not create," The man then said as he tried to steady his loudly beating heart, trying desperately not to scream out for help, "It was a brutal and terrible war, so much so that you created us to fight for you."
"Things, however, did not go smoothly as, eventually, both sides were so worn out that, in the end," The man then concluded as he now floated before him, their eyes level with each other. With a gesture, Kermit felt the table he was strapped two turn ever slowly, "All that was left were you creations to take up what was left"
"Now, I'm guessing you're wondering, why bring up such ancient history? Why bring up a race that is no longer relevant to this day and age?" He then asked as Kermit saw it, the black horrid object now pointed at him. He could feel his breath freeze, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest as the baleful green light shone on to him, "Let me tell you a little secret, your enemies made weapons to kill your kind, and guess who has one."
Kermit could only swallow as he found himself face to face with the barrel of said weapon, the handle strapped to a mechanism as a group of people operated it. The cold, hard length of the weapon stood there unmoving but a single twitch, a single wrong word and he knew this would be the end of his story.
"Lovely, isn't it?" Vect then said as his platform floated over to the weapon. Hoping off his stand, Vect stood beside the cruel looking weapon and laid his hands against its black surface, "It cost me quite a bit to get this off the hand of Trazyn the Infinite, but it's well worth it. After all, who would say no to a weapon that could kill you in one shot?" He might have chewed a bit more than he could chew.
Caressing the weapon, Vect then said, "Just looking at it makes you ill, a perfectly natural reaction." With a glance to the operators, the weapon started glowing all while he stared down the barrel of his doom. "After all, this is the kind of weapon that is made to kill anything with even a remote link to the warp and as a creature of pure psychic might… this will hurt, a lot,"
"One shot is all it takes and you'll be gone," The man taunted. Kermit knew he was bluffing, but it was hard not to be afraid now he was face to face with something that could kill him. It was not an if, but a certainty, a feeling of absolute terror that his very soul knew what damage this thing could cause.
As the light grew brighter, the very air screaming as it drew in the very fabric of space into its barrel, the man then said, "Quick, simple, and easy… but that would be boring wouldn't it? How about we make you scream first?"
Flinching away, he barely had time to brace himself as the man screamed out, "Fire up the laser!"
There was silence, before the baleful green light consumed everything. He screamed, bucking against his restraint he felt it course through his veins, "Stop! Oh god, make it stop!" He begged them as he started laughing, robbing him of his breath.
"Oh man does that have a kick!" The man screamed as every Dhrukari glowed, their screams of delight feeling the stadium, "How does it feel Kermit? How does it feel to have your soul getting slowly ripped apa-! Are you laughing?! Why are you laughing!" the man gloated before he noticed his laughter.
"Oh god, I'm going to pee!" He cried, wheezing as tears feel down his cheeks, "It tickles! Shtap!" he begged them once more. He bucked, strength returning to his limbs as a desperate strength filled him in his struggle.
"God damn it all! Don't ruin this with your laughter!" the man fumed, stomping his feet "Stop laughing! I command you!"
"I can't! I can't help myself!" He wheezed out, feeling his sides seizing up and hurting from his laughter. He was going to die, he was going to die of laughter.
Stomping over to the operator, Vect demanded, "Crank up the weapon! I want a real scream, not this vanilla nonsense!"
Kermit screamed louder, fear seizing his heart once more as the light intensified. For a brief second, he felt like he was going to break, his spine aching as he bucked harder, trying to get away from the tickling beam before it stopped.
The weapon wined down before it stopped, its baleful green glow dimming before it became an inert black object. Coughing, he sagged against his bonds as he whispered out hoarsely, "Oh thank god, finally,"
As he caught his breath, he then heard some argument from the weapon platform. "What do you mean it ran out of battery!? Trazyn you fucker!" The man screamed in an all too familiar tone of s man that was cheated.
"You asked for a weapon to kill me but he didn't give you enough bullets, huh?" He mocked the man as he felt his limbs move but not enough to escape his bond. That wouldn't matter however as he soon heard the bells start ringing.
There was a confused murmur amongst the crowd as Kermit shrugged, "Welp, while I'd hate to dampen the party even more, I think it's time we drop this charade," It was finally time, the party had begun. Breathing in, he let out the warcry of the revolution, "Caw Caw! Caw caw!"
His moment of glory was dampened as he was only met with confused silence. Even Jaghatai himself, just meters away from Vect and Kermit himself, looked confused. "What?" Vect then asked, quirking a brow at him, "What are these bird noises that you make? Stop this nonsense at once!"
Kermit gave Jaghatai a good long stare as he once more cried out, "I said, Caw Caw, Caw Caw!"
Finally, a hint of recognition flashed over Jaghatai's face. Grabbing his cowl, he ripped them off revealing his form as he pulled out sword, "Well you heard the man, attack!" That one was all it took for pandemonium to descend in the arena as his people attacked.
"You son of a bitch!" Vect screamed as he pulled out his sword, blocking a slash from Jaghatai.
A/N:
Viva La Revolution! Kermit just sparked himself a revolution. This is mostly Lady Maly's and Jaghatai's plan but having Vect out of the picture just makes things easier for Kermit. He gets to curb some of the Dhrukari's cruelty and it gives him time to fix thier little problem. The fact that it makes Jaghatai happy, as he gets to lead a rebellion, while Maly's gets her place in power is just the cherry on top of it all. Everyone wins... well except Vect lol.
Anyways, I'd like to thank @vyor once more for making this possible. Praise be vyor cause without him, I might have forgotten half the things I had thought up. Now if you want to support me or want to read some fic chapters in advance, consider dropping by either Patreon or Ko-Fi. Without my patreons, I wouldn't have been able to write this. Also, shoutout to Old Man in the Mountain. He's the one bank rolling this!
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