A Crown of Laurels (I Lay On Your Head) -- Criston Cole OC Insert

Still impetuous as ever (well, she's still young and, more importantly, still Rhaenyra Targaryen), but tempered with wisdom from growing up with Cole as a father figure. Very nice to see.

"You already spoke to the king of this match," Laenor reminds her, "and he rejected the offer. What makes you think he'll change his mind?"

Rhaenyra's lips twist into something that could almost resemble a smile. "Why Ser Criston," she says,
Reads a bit odd. If it's Laenor addressing her, she should be replying to him, not Cole.
 
Still impetuous as ever (well, she's still young and, more importantly, still Rhaenyra Targaryen), but tempered with wisdom from growing up with Cole as a father figure. Very nice to see.


Reads a bit odd. If it's Laenor addressing her, she should be replying to him, not Cole.
Rhaenyra's honestly one of my favorite parts of this entire fic, blending her canon personality with a positive influence is so fun.

Also whoops, thanks for pointing out that typo lol
 
Chapter 35
One day, Cregan Stark will grow into a man. In Fire and Blood, he was a stalwart, ruthless leader, and one of Rhaenyra's fiercest champions. He installed her son on the throne after her death and brought order back to King's Landing. For these reasons, Criston has a soft spot for him, even if he is only just a boy now, and if the gods are willing, he will never have to march for Rhaenyra, much less avenge her.

Cregan's hair is a dark shade of brown. He stands tall for a boy of ten, with too-broad shoulders he'll grow into and cool gray eyes. They are not quite innocent – life in the North is hard, and Criston's sure he's seen his first execution by now – but there is a kind of brightness to them, an alertness, that makes Criston understand why Septon Eustace compared them to a winter storm.

He watches on as Theon Stark, his younger brother – the child who's due to die next year, if the timeline doesn't shift – plays with Aemon and Baelon and Jacaerys. They haven't gone outside to play in the snow; Theon might be used to the cold, but the twins certainly aren't, and Rhaenyra won't risk them catching a chill so young. Still, they hop between the columns of Winterfell's many halls.

"Let's play a game," Baelon says.

Theon nods. "How about the Hungry Wolf?"

"The Hungry Wolf?" Aemon repeats. "What's that?"

Theon puffs out his chest. "It's a game about Theon Stark, the Hungry Wolf of the North. The fierce Lord of Winterfell who led great armies. He's the greatest man who ever lived, and I was named after him."

"He sounds fierce," Jacaerys says, impressed. "Fine then, let's play."

As they chase each other around the columns, Criston glances at Cregan again. He'd like to get him to play along with them if he can. His father, Lord Rickon, seems to have taken to Rhaenyra quickly, and the other houses they've met in the North have made their vows easily enough, but it would do well for him to have a personal fondness for the boys. Besides, children deserve to run about and play, even if they are the heirs to great houses.

"Will you not join them, my lord?" he asks.

It takes Cregan a few seconds to realize that he's addressed him. He blinks. Then, after another second, he says, "No. I'm almost a man grown, I don't play games like The Hungry Wolf anymore."

Criston bites his tongue and resists the urge to laugh at how he furrows his brow and folds his arms over his chest. A great man he'll become, but this is such a strong reminder that he's still just a boy. A little lad.

Was Criston ever that young, he wonders, in either of his lives? It seems like it's been so long since he had to worry about seeming grown instead of being weighed down from being grown.

He doesn't try to insist that Cregan play, because that could come across as irritating at best and patronizing at worst. Instead, he says, "I've heard you're quite the swordsman. Your father boasted of it nearly as soon as we arrived at Winterfell."

Cregan straightens and pride colors his expression. "He did?" he asks. When Criston nods, his stance grows a little straighter. A little prouder. "I've been learning how to fight," he says, "the master-at-arms says I'm the best talent he's seen in years."

Criston remembers the claim of Aemon the Dragonknight, the claim that Cregan Stark was the finest swordsman he had ever faced, and hums.

"Let me know if you'd like some advice or training from me," he says,

The excitement on Cregan's face makes him look younger.




Winterfell's master-at-arms was not lying about the boy's inherent talent. As Criston offers him advice and pointers, as he fixes his stances and shows him new moves, Cregan picks them up impressively quickly. Lord Rickon and Lady Gillane watch on with pleased expressions, and little Theon wears a look of both admiration and envy. Rhaenyra, for her part, watches on in approval.

"Well done, my lord," Criston says warmly as Cregan ducks from a blow. He's obviously not putting full or even most effort into his attacks, but even still he's impressed. There is a rare talent on display here, the kind that appears once, maybe twice, in a generation. As he grows, this talent will only grow with him.

They are using wooden training swords – Criston is not nearly mad enough to train him with steel – but he still keeps his blows light when he does land a hit. Cregan is not, he thinks, the kind of boy who will run to his parents, weeping, at the first inconvenience, but both his conscience and good sense tell him to avoid making any bruises.

Cregan manages to parry another one of his blows, but the force of it sends him flying backward. Criston catches his wrist before he can fall to the ground and steadies him.

"You've grown tired," he says, "mayhaps this is where we should end things today."

He scowls and shakes his head. "I can keep going," he insists.

"Cregan," Lord Rickon says, "listen to Ser Criston. He'd know when you've met your limit."

"But father–" Lord Rickon's stare is firm and Cregan's shoulders slump. "Alright," he grumbles.

He walks over to his parents and his father ruffles his hair. His mother smiles at Criston warmly.

"We'd like to thank you again for offering to him while you're here," she says, "it means a great deal to have the best knight in the realm to take an interest in him."

Criston returns her smile. "It was my pleasure, my lady," he replies. "There have been greater knights than me, and I'm sure that there will be greater to come, but it is truly an honor to hear you speak so highly of me."

Rhaenyra shakes her head in disagreement, but before she can dispute his words, someone else speaks.

"You do yourself an injustice, ser," comes another voice that Criston recognizes easily. By now, he knows it like the back of his hand. He turns to see Laena smiling at him from the other side of the training yards. He feels himself warm at her praise,

"My lady," he says, "forgive me for not acknowledging you. I hadn't realized you were here."

Laena's smile is wry. "I don't know whether or not I should take offense to that," she replies. Her eyes flick to Rhaenyra. "What will you do to address this grave insult from your sworn shield, princess?"

"'Grave insult?'" Rhaenyra raises an eyebrow. "I believe that you yourself just said you were unsure whether or not it was so."

Laena's smile widens into a grin and she laughs.

"That's fair enough," she replies.




Criston stumbles into Laena again later. He's going for a walk around the castle, feeling a little restless. It's a few hours past midday and he feels tired, but sleep did not come to him when he tried to rest, so he has resolved to pace around Winterfell instead. At least then he can appreciate its beauty.

He rounds a corner and recognizes the sounds of footsteps just in time. He manages to flatten himself against the wall before he can stumble into the person opposite from him.

Surprised violet eyes widen as they meet his. Then they relax as amusement fills them instead.

"Ser Criston," Laena grins, "I do believe you almost hit me."

Her amusement is infectious. Criston smiles back at her and says, "I would ask you for your forgiveness, my lady, but I do think it could be argued that you nearly stumbled into me . Not the other way around."

Delight flashes across her face. "You're meant to be a gallant knight of the realm. That means not running to helpless ladies."

Laughter bubbles up from Criston's throat. "You and I know you are both anything but helpless, my lady," he replies.

She pauses, then dips her head in acknowledgment. "No," she says, "I suppose I'm not."

She looks like she wants to say something more, but something in her expression shifts, then. She takes a few steps away from him and tosses some of her hair over her shoulder. "I should be on my way," she says, "I promised Jae that I would take him flying."

Criston tries not to frown. He must not be as successful as he'd hoped because she peers at him closely. "Are you well, ser?"

He pauses. Considers his words carefully. "No," he says, "it's just that… forgive me if this is presumptuous, but I hope I haven't done anything to offend you, my lady."

She blinks. "Why would you get that impression?"

Feeling a little foolish, he says, "I haven't seen all that much of you lately. You are a busy woman, of course, but I couldn't help but find the change… sudden."

Laena's expression softens a little. "Forgive me," she says, "I'd never intended to give you that impression at all. You're just heavily involved in the politicking of this tour, and I have no interest in such things. We simply haven't been walking the same circles as often."

He nods, relief settling over his shoulders. He feels better now. He did not realize just how much this was bothering him until this moment.

"I am glad to hear it, my lady."

"Of course, ser," she winks. "I'm afraid that you're stuck with me now."

She's japing, but he scoffs internally at the thought of her company being a burden. If anything, it's the opposite. Laena adds a refreshing easiness to every situation, a joviality he appreciates.

"I really must leave now," she says after another second.

He nods. "Of course."

She nods and continues on her way. He watches her go, feeling more cheerful than he had been minutes ago.




When Rhaenyra returns to King's Landing from Winterfell, she carries with her a confident optimism that she has the Starks in her pocket. Criston carries with him an lighter attitude, Lord Rickon's good graces, and Lord Cregan's deep admiration.
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A/N: And with that, the tour arc has concluded 😁
 
Chapter 36 (Interlude: Viserys)
"I want a betrothal arranged between Aemon and Helaena," Rhaenyra says.

Fathers, Viserys knows, are not supposed to have favorites among their children. They should love them all equally, and treat them as such, as the Father among the Seven loves every man.

That does not stop him from holding Rhaenyra closer to his heart than he does any of her siblings. She is his heir, his darling child, his last piece of Aemma, and Daemon as well sometimes, when her temper flares. She has grown into a fine young woman, open-handed yet fierce, clever, and charismatic. He looks at her and sees the best parts of his father and grandfather.

"Baelon," he had named his last son by Aemma, his sweet boy who had lived for only a day. He had hoped that he would grow into a great man, worthy of the name bestowed upon him. The stranger had snatched him away with a cruelty that had ripped the breath from Viserys' lungs. The wound still stings, even today. Aemma and Baelon, both lost in one fell swoop. The gods are not merciful creatures.

Now, regarding Rhaenyra as she stands across from him, he thinks that the name "Baela" would have suited her very well. He sees much of his father in her. Sees his good heart, his zeal, his stubbornness. The stubbornness in particular stands out now.

"Rhaenyra," he says, a little exasperated, "you've only been at court for a week. Can we not celebrate your success before we begin talking about matters as serious as this?"

Her mouth flinches downward. "My success is not complete until I secure Helaena's hand for Aemon," she insists.

He sighs and rubs at his forehead. "You remind me so much of Daemon sometimes," he says wryly, "gods know you're as relentless as he ever was." He sets his goblet down on the table. "Fine then, let us speak. Why do you seek this match so desperately?"

Rhaenyra's jaw tightens. It reminds Viserys vaguely of someone else. Sometimes she makes certain movements, certain facial expressions, that have traces of another, but Viserys cannot pinpoint from who, exactly. Mayhaps it is a strange combination of Aemma and Daemon, he ponders.

"I wish to unite our house," she says.

"Rhaenyra," he replies, reproachful, "we are hardly divided."

"Father, surely you cannot be serious."

He frowns at her. "Why would we be? Aegon, Haelaena and Aemond love you, and with time, Daeron surely will as well. They adore you, and no one would ever try to argue that you do not adore them in turn."

"That's–" she pauses for a moment. "They might love me," she ends up continuing, "but their mother certainly does not. She hates me and does everything in her power to turn them against me."

Viserys feels wariness seep into his bones, into his very marrow. "Now you sound like Alicent," he sighs. "Truly, will the two of you never put your differences aside for the sake of the children?"

A muscle in Rhaenyra's cheek jumps. Her eyebrows draw tightly together, and there it is, a trace of familiarity that Viserys both recognizes and does not recognize.

"Will you approve the betrothal or not?" Rhaenyra asks.

He feels his expression darker and she stiffens, as if sensing she has overstepped. "Mind your tone," he says, lets his own tone cut sharply, "I am your father, child, but I am also your king, and I will be respected in the way that station bestows."

A mixture of regret and frustration flickers across her face, but she wisely bites her tongue. "My apologies, Father," she says shortly.

Rhaenyra's pride is wounded, he can tell. In an attempt to soothe it, Viserys draws her close and presses a kiss to her brow. When he pulls back, she is still frowning. His attempt at comfort, it seems, did not do much. In any case, he crosses his arms over his chest and sighs.

"You performed well on the tour," he says. "You proved yourself to be a true heir, a ruler anyone would wish to serve and kneel before."

"A ruler anyone would kneel before," Rhaenyra says sourly, "but not a woman."

Viserys scowls at that. He can follow where her mind has wandered, sniffs it out like a hound on the chase. "Jason Lannister is a fool," he says, "and what's more, your Ser Criston instilled fear into the hearts of him and his leal lords that day at his tourney. They are spineless little cretins, they would not dare to cross you."

She sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. "I do not wish to speak of Jason Lannister and his lickspittles," she says, "I came to you to speak of Helaena."

Viserys sighs. "I have already given you Lyonel's son as the new commander of the city watch. Aemond's status as your ward is still fresh in Alicent's mind. How do you think she will react when I give away her only daughter's hand?"

"You are not giving my sister away to a stranger," Rhaenyra says primly, "you are giving her to my son and heir, and the future king of the Seven Kingdoms. You are giving her a crown. Aemon is a sweet boy who will grow into a good man; he will treat her well, and she will be a beloved queen."

Viserys feels himself waver. She must see it, because she presses on, more insistently, "you have given me a crown, Father, and I am grateful for that more than you will ever know. Would you deny Helaena the same gift? Years from now, the singers might write of King Viserys, the First of His Name, and his generosity toward both of his daughters, to have made them both queens."

Viserys thinks of Helaena, gentle Helaena with her fascination for insects and her laughter and her gentleness, and pictures her with a circlet on her brow. Something in him softens. She would look beautiful with it, and she would make a great mother indeed for a king.

"Very well," he sighs. "A betrothal you have asked for, and a betrothal you shall have. But give me time to address this with Alicent. She is… volatile these days, and she will not take it well. She must have time to warm up to the idea."

Rhaenyra's smile is as bright as the sun. She leans in to drop a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, Father," she says, "I knew you would see the sense in my request. You are a good and wise man."

He chuckles. "You need not layer the flattery on so heavily, child," he says, "you have what you wanted."

She has the decency to look at least a little abashed, but she still looks like a child who's been caught with far too many sweetmeats. As she makes her way to leave, her smile reminds him faintly of his fathers.

Baela would have been a worthy name for her indeed.




That night, when he dines with Alicent, he does not speak with her about the betrothal. He will, when the time is right, but that time is not now and will not be for some time to come, he thinks. He is the king, his rule law, but even kings do not wish to deal with screeching wives. Instead, he smiles and asks her how the children have done today.

"Aegon is well," she replies, "his training with Gwayne is progressing nicely. He is no master yet, but my brother thinks he might be good with a blade in time, should he apply himself."

Viserys hums and wisely does not speak of how Aegon will most likely not apply himself at all. He is lazy, that child. If something does not have to do with impressing Rhaenyra or winning at a competition, he finds little interest in it at all. He worries for the boy, sometimes. A brother should not spend so much time clinging to his sister's skirts. Still, he will not begrudge him for it. There is a peace that the boy finds in Rhaenyra, he thinks, that he does not find elsewhere. The same could be said, in different ways, for Helaena and Aemond as well.

Aegon is a good lad, he thinks. Ser Gwayne has been a good influence on him. Though he is still lazy and slothful, there is a good heart beneath his vanity. A sincerity beneath his sarcasm. A cleverness behind his lack of effort. In another life, he might have been shaped into a good king with the right guidance.

But that is not this life.

"The word at court is that you met with Rhaenyra in your solar," Alicent continues. Her voice and smile are light, to Viserys' relief.

"Aye," he says, "I did."

"What did the two of you speak of, my love?"

His gaze turns wary over the brim of his cup. "Matters of state," he says, "and matters of family."

She frowns. "That is vague."

He feels his smile grow strained around the edges. "We spoke of Aemon and Baelon," he says, and ignores the half-lie he tells his wife, "and of their futures. The children of a future queen must have good guidance, after all."

Alicent's mouth tugs downward at the edges in the way it always does when she's displeased. He ignores it and presses a kiss to the back of her hand. "You are beautiful tonight, wife," he says, "I have been blessed by the Seven to have a queen as beautiful as you."

This does not assuage her anger, but it puffs up her pride, and that will do for now. She softens and kisses him. When she is sweet like this, it reminds him of why he married her. She is a bright, clever woman, with a fire anyone would desire. When she allows it to burn purely, unmarred by anything else, she is at her most beautiful. More than ever he is determined not to tell Alicent of his agreement to Aemon and Helaena's betrothal for a while yet. He wishes to keep this side of his wife in the light as much as possible.




A/N: It's been a while since I updated, huh? Sorry for that. Balancing work, school and an internship is no joke, it's been kicking my ass. I won't update again till I'm done with one of my term papers. Hopefully, that'll be in the next week or two.
 
He feels his expression darker and she stiffens, as if sensing she has overstepped. "Mind your tone," he says, lets his own tone cut sharply, "I am your father, child, but I am also your king, and I will be respected in the way that station bestows."
Looks odd. First, that should be "darken", not "darker".

Next, the "lets" should be "letting", or, if left unchanged, the comma should be replaced by "and".

Finally, I don't think "bestow" is the right word--you bestow respect onto a station, not the other way around. Maybe "is owed" would be better?

Viserys hums and wisely does not speak of how Aegon will most likely not apply himself at all. He is lazy, that child. If something does not have to do with impressing Rhaenyra or winning at a competition, he finds little interest in it at all.
Becoming good with a blade means possibly winning tourneys in the future, though, so if Aegon likes competitions, he just might find the motivation to apply himself at that.
 
Chapter 37 (Interlude: Sabitha)
"I don't think Ser Criston likes me very much," Harwin says.

Sabitha hums. "I would not blame him," she says, "it is difficult to get along with you, sometimes."

He lets out a frustrated huff. "You know that is a lie," he replies, "and I'm being serious, Sab. There's something tense about him any time I'm around."

She glances up from the book she's reading. He's leaning against the headboard of his bed, his arms across his chest. His brow is furrowed in that way it always does when he's irate, and the corners of his mouth have pulled downward.

"Mayhaps he realizes you're trying to despoil his would-be daughter," Sabitha suggests dryly.

Harwin groans and rubs at his forehead. "We've hardly been here a moon," he says, "I can't be that obvious."

"You haven't been here at King's Landing," she agrees. "Back at Harrenhal, you were… less subtle."

Harwin winces. "In my defense, a beautiful woman had just shown interest in me." Sabitha laughs and his frown deepens into a scowl. "Don't chide me about subtlety. Have you forgotten that the day I met you, you were insulting some poor wretch after stealing his favorite whore?"

"That," she drawls, "was a whore. This is a dragon rider, a princess, and the heir to the Seven Kingdoms. We must be more careful about these things, husband."

He scratches at his cheek. "What would you suggest?"

She waves a hand. "If her father figure loathes you, I doubt that the princess will think very highly of you, much less let you into her bed. You should focus on getting Ser Crison to warm up to you; for now, I will endear you to Rhaenyra while you busy yourself with that."

Harwin squints at her, his mouth tugging into a smile. "You want to get her alone, do you? Should I be worried that you wish to steal her for yourself?"

A smirk cuts into the side of Sabitha's mouth. "Would that be so bad? It wouldn't be the first time we've shared a woman."

"That was a whore," he says, turns her own words against her. "This is a dragon rider, a princess, and the heir to the Seven Kingdoms. We must be more careful about these things, wife."

She throws an empty goblet at his head for that. He ducks away, snickering.

"Fear not," she says dryly, "as much as I would like it to be the case, the princess doesn't seem to be the type to want a woman in her bed."




"I'll ask Ser Criston for advice with the City Watch," Harwin decides the next day. They are breaking their fasts, Larys seated with them. Sabitha ruffles her son's hair as she bounces him on her knee. He giggles and huddles further into her embrace. She smiles. She would be lying if she said she was not disappointed that he has nothing of her looks, but it is moments like these that remind her that he is hers all the same. Hers and Harwin's, and gods help anyone who ever tries to harm him.

"That seems like a wise choice," she approves. "Ser Criston seems like a responsible man; he will give your advice if you ask for it."

Harwin kisses Larys on the forehead. "It is done, then," he says, "now you'll play your part."

There is a questioning lilt to his done. Not doubt, but inquiry. Sabitha smiles. "I am due to walk with the princess around the godswood on the morrow. She wishes to know the wife of her new captain of the City Watch better, I suppose."

Harwin nods. "Good," he hums, "good."



The godswood, Sabitha has to admit, is breathtaking. Even she, who is often grudging in giving compliments – except, of course, to beautiful women – is forced to admire its beauty. The surrounding area is an acre of spry elm, adler, and black cottonwood. The heart tree is a great, towering oak covered in smokeberry vines. Red dragon's breath curls its roots, an almost bloody embrace, though perhaps that is Sabitha's penchant for aggression bleeding through.

"Ah," Rhaenyra says, "I see that another has been stricken by the godswood of the Red Keep."

Sabitha laughs. "Does such a thing happen often, my princess?"

A dimple flashes across her cheek as she smiles. Sabitha tries to regulate her reaction to that; she has always had such a weakness for dimples. Damn Harwin, he is a truly lucky man. "I'm afraid so," she says.

Sabitha makes a noise of consideration. "Did I atleast avoid making myself look like a fool whilst I did so?"

"My lady," Rhaenyra replies, "I think that it would be very difficult to make you look like a fool."

Sabitha grins, sincerely smug at that. She inclines her head. "I am glad I have made such a good impression already."

Rhaenyra gestures toward the heart tree and they settle beneath it. The sun peeks out through the leaves, casting them in a dappled shadow. As it catches in Rhaenyra's hair, Sabitha can't help but sneak a glance. She is not some Septa, after all; when a beautiful woman is before her, it is in her nature to take at least one look.

"I must ask, princess, why you invited me here today," she says, "even if I am grateful to have the honor."

Rhaenyra twists at the rings on her fingers for a brief moment, before her hands settle in her lap, clasped. "Is it so strange to want to know the wife of the new Lord Commander of the City Watch?" she asks. "To include her in my circle?"

"Perhaps not," Sabitha acknowledges. But it is stranger when you want to fuck that woman's husband, she does not add.

"That was my thinking," the princess says, "I enjoy making friends with my allies, my lady, and it is my hope that you will be among them."

She's thinking when Rhaenyra's dimple flashes again and some of her skepticism fades. She grows a little warm beneath her collar. Because she has always been susceptible to the charms of beautiful women, and because part of her cannot herself, Sabitha does something foolish. She eyes the mossy ground they've settled near and spies a particularly beautiful array of red dragon's breath, and plucks one from the ground.

"Let this be a first offering then," she murmurs, "a beautiful gift for a beautiful woman."

She reaches over to tuck the flower in Rhaenyra's hair, lets her touch linger for a second more than necessary, perhaps. Not because she takes this minor attempt at seduction seriously – which is nothing; by her standards, really it's quite pitiful — but because she wishes to see if she can get away with it, if it will work.

Rhaenyra lets out a short, surprised breath. When Sabitha pulls away, her eyes are wide. Sabitha smiles and is about to go on about their friendship – her little stunt could easily be perceived as innocent enough, given the society they live in – when she notices that the tips of Rhaenyra's ears are red.

It takes everything Sabitha has to not an eyebrow. She hides her smirk.

Well, that's a surprise.




She finds Harwin that night, staring out across the city from their window. He's leaning against the wall, his eyes distant. The energy in the room is wrong. The smug remark about her earlier discovery dies on her lips. She settles into a chair beside him.

"Did winning Cole over not work as well as you hoped?" she asks.

He shakes his head. "I'm not meeting with him for another few days at least," he says, "he's a very busy man, as Rhaenyra's sworn shield and the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard."

Sabitha eyes him carefully. Reaches out to let her hand glance against his elbow. "That is not what is bothering you then."

He sighs deeply. "No, it is not."

Sabitha isn't a fool; there are very few things that could possibly dull Harwin's joy at being back in the capital. "Are you thinking of your brother?"

There's a beat of stillness. Then he nods.

Ah.

She'd had a feeling this would happen sooner or later. Even if this city has good memories for him, it is the place where his brother died. That would bring a certain kind of grief with it no matter what, even as a bastion from Harrenhal.

"Where was his favorite place in the Red Keep?" she asks.

Harwin doesn't hesitate in giving his reply. "The library. Without a doubt, the library."

"Tomorrow we will take Larys there," she says breezily.

Harwin's eyes snap to her, surprise and something else, something more vulnerable, flickering across his face. "The boy can't read yet," he points out, "I doubt he'll appreciate it much."

Sabitha shrugs. "It was his namesake's most loved place here," she replies, "he should know it as early as he can."

Harwin is silent for a long moment, studying her. Then he reaches for her hand.

"Thank you, Sabitha," he says, "you are a good friend."

And she is not a soft woman, far from it, and not very good with emotions, either, but she squeezes his hand back and sits there with him for a while longer.
 
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Chapter 38
Criston has a problem on his hands. A problem that makes his eye twitch, his jaw clench, and his nostrils flair. Said problem stands before him now, a gold cloak wrapped around his shoulders as he chatters away about his plans for the City Watch. They're admittedly solid plans – Criston can't find any fault in them – but the fact that they're coming from Harwin Strong chafes at him.

Criston has the self-awareness, at least, to admit that his dislike for the man might not be completely fair. By all accounts, he seems like a good man. Sabitha Vypren married him in this lifetime – gods , Criston had been surprised when he'd heard that – and if she respects him enough to wed him, it says something at least about his competence. He might even like him if it weren't for the fact that he very clearly has his eyes set on Rhaenyra. Oh, it might not be obvious to everyone, but Criston can see it clear as day.

He loathes it. For many reasons.

The first and most obvious is that the affair if it were to be discovered – if it happens – would do immense damage to Rhaenyra's reputation. All the hard work that's been put into giving her a strong foundation, all his lessons to try and make her a good queen, could be for naught if the lords of Westeros deem her a whore. It would not be a fair assessment, but since when has Westeros ever been fair to women, or the smallfolk, or anyone who isn't a wealthy, powerful lordling?

The second reason is the fact that Ser Harwin's genes are, with no pun intended, strong . If he gets a child on Rhaenyra, if they're foolish and don't use moon tea – or even if they do, moon tea is not a complete guarantee to prevent unwanted children – and she bears a babe with brown hair, brown eyes, and a pug smile… Criston loathes to think of the consequences. Aemon and Baelon exist, thank the Seven, but the fallout of birthing a bastard would be even worse than simply being caught with a man beside her husband. It makes him ill just thinking about it.

The third reason is that Criston cannot stop it. Rhaenyra is a grown woman now at one-and-twenty. The heir to the Seven Kingdoms and He knew from the moment she married Laenor that she would not be content with him as her sole company for the rest of her life. Truly, it is a miracle that she has not taken one already, at least as far as he knows. Criston sees the way Rhaenyra looks at Ser Harwin. If she… wishes to return his fondness, then there is no one on this earth who will be able to stop her. She is so dreadfully hard-headed sometimes. All Criston will be able to do, if this affair takes place, is to cover it up as best he can and ensure that she always has moon tea. He could try to dissuade her, but he doubts he would be successful. And part of him, foolishly, cannot find it within himself to try and deny her some kind of happiness in matters of the heart. He thinks of Aemma, so tired and wary in her marriage to Viserys, and grinds his teeth together.

"What do you think of my plans for the City Watch, ser?"

Ser Harwin's voice resounds through the room, dragging Criston slowly from his thoughts. He blinks and reaches for a goblet of wine, trying to find an answer that won't make it obvious that he's been half-listening for the last ten minutes.

"It's a good start," he says neutrally. "There are still some issues to be worked out with patrol rotations and locations, but I think you're off to a good start."

Ser Harwin grins. He claps him on the shoulder. "I'm glad to hear it," he says. His expression grows a little more teasing. The corner of his lips curl into something that isn't quite a smirk but isn't quite not a smirk either. "It means a lot, coming from the greatest knight in Westeros. Now all we need to do is work out the rough patches."

And here, here is the fourth and final reason why Criston doesn't like this business with Ser Harwin and Rhaenyra one bit. In certain lights, when he makes certain expressions, he looks like Larys Strong. Criston is not a saint. He has his regrets, as does everyone who has ever walked the earth. Still, shame is not a feeling he is accustomed to. He doesn't feel shame for killing Larys Strong – the little fucking worm deserved to go careening down the stairs on the Sea Snake's orders – but isn't heartless either. He played at least a partial role in taking this man's brother away from him. A brother who was dear to him, if the naming of his son is any indication. And he might not like Ser Harwin, but he's not a bloody monster either.

"Ser Criston?" Ser Harwin implores. "Is everything well?"

He offers him a strained smile. "Yes, forgive me. Rest didn't come easily to me last night, I fear. I apologize if I do not seem like myself."

Ser Harwin's eyes are friendly. "There is no need for apology," he says, "forgive me for holding you for so long; we could always reconvene on the morrow."

Criston nods warily. "Yes," he agrees, "that could work. I thank you for your accommodation."

Ser Harwin laughs. "You're the one doing me a favor, ser," he says, "a little understanding is the least I could offer you."

They put away the papers with their plans and leave the room. They walk together for a few minutes in silence. Criston isn't typically the kind of person to mind silence, but standing before this particular man in particular, with irritation and dislike and something uncomfortably close to guilt twisting in his gut, he finds that it sits ill with him.

"How are you finding King's Landing, Ser Harwin?" he asks. "It's been a good few years since you were last here."

Ser Harwin rolls his shoulders. "It's a bit strange being back," he admits, "when I was last here, I was commander of nothing. Now I command the City Watch, and I have a wife and son at my side and one less brother."

His eyes lower to the ground at the mention of Lord Larys. Something sad steals across his face. Criston eyes him for a long moment, a question hovering on the tip of his tongue. And he doesn't know why he asks the question, but damn him, he does.

"You were close with Lord Larys, then?"

Ser Harwin's smile is melancholy. "Aye. He was my little brother, and I loved him for it. I would defend him from the foolish sons of River Lords when we were boys – I felt it was my duty to protect him, given his condition. I could not protect him as he fell to his death."

Criston feels a heaviness settle over him. "I see." A pause. "I am sorry for the loss of your brother, Ser Harwin."

He isn't. He never will be. But maybe, he'll admit, he's sorry for Harwin's grief. Maybe it's because he can relate more to the death of a family member now than he could before; no ravens have flown from Blackhaven yet informing him of his father's death, but it is a looming thing. It is bound to happen soon, he knows.

Ser Harwin hums. "Thank you," is all he says, and the conversation is over.

With nothing more to say, they go their separate ways.




Criston walks to the training yards, feeling older than he did before he met with Ser Harwin. His skin itches with something he can't name and there is a wariness to him that he needs to alleviate. As crass as it might sound, a good fight has always made him feel better.

He rifles through the yards, preparing himself for a spar. Part of him pities anyone who will face off against him today. Another part of him knows himself – he will not embarrass a young knight horribly without due cause.

It's then that a familiar voice reaches his ears.

"Care for a spar?"

He turns and meets the eyes of an old friend. Gwayne is getting older now, no longer a young man. Though neither is Criston himself, he thinks with no small amount of wryness. The first hints of gray have begun to creep at his temples and pepper his beard. Smile lines map his face. Some of his hair is thinning at the corners, though it's barely noticeable at this stage. Despite the signs of aging, his brown eyes are still bright, if less boyish than Criston knew them to be when they first met.

"Gwayne," he says, surprised, "how long have you been standing there before?"

His old friend's smile is wry. "Enough to tell that it looks like you need to fight someone. And I would be remiss to let you beat some poor young lad into the dirt."

Criston startles himself with a laugh. "You think I can't beat you?"

He shrugs in an easy slope of his shoulders. Tilting his head, he pretends to consider for a moment. Then he says: "I suppose we'll have to see. I know that either way, I won't embarrass myself. So are you on, or not?"

After a second, Criston nods. "You're on."

Gwayne's grin reminds him so much of old times that it takes him by surprise.
.
.​
Writing this as cope for probably getting absolutely smoked on my exam. Manifest a good grade for me y'all 😭
 
Chapter 39
The fight with Gwayne is brutal. It's a flurry of steel, dirt, sweat, and blood. Criston can taste iron on his tongue by the time it's done. He's standing over Gwayne, his sword leveled at his throat. Pain burns across his skin, the promise of bruises coming with it if they haven't formed already. Despite that, he finds himself smiling. Truly smiling in the kind of way that takes a weight off his shoulders. For this brief time, they're not in their thirties and Criston isn't responsible for anyone's murder yet and Aemma isn't dead, and they're still friends, and Rhaenyra isn't infatuated with Harwin fucking Strong.


"Yield," he gasps, a little savagely.


Gwayne smiles through bloodied teeth. He half-rises and the skin along his throat presses against the blade. Threatens to break. Criston loosens his hold on the sword and tugs it back a little.


"I yield," he says, his voice ringing through the training yards.


Clapping reaches Criston's ears then. He looks up, startled, to see a crown has formed nearby. At the front of the crowd are Aemond and Aegon. Aemond's smile is bright as he darts to them, his brother close behind him.


"That was amazing, Ser Criston," he chirps, "you truly are the greatest knight in the realm."


"Boy," Gwayne mock-grumbles, "have you forgotten about your own poor uncle?"


Aemond looks sheepish at that. He mumbles a few words of apology and Gwayne sighs and ruffles his hair. Aegon punches at his armor lightly.


"You put up a good fight, Uncle," he says, almost comforting, "if it were anyone but Ser Criston you were fighting, you would win."


Criston looks at the boy in surprise. He's fond enough of the lad, and the lad is fond enough of him. Likes him, even, for Rhaenyra's sake. But to call them particularly close would be a lie. He smiles at him and inclines his head.


"I'm flattered, my prince," he says.


Aegon spares him a quick smile before turning back to Gwayne. "Since we've watched the two greatest knights in the realm duel, do you think we can get out of training today? That's more educational than any drills you could put me through."


Criston resists the urge to laugh at the exasperated look that steals across Gwayne's face. He boxes his nephew lightly across the ears, with no real weight behind the movement, and sighs.


"So that's why you came here," he accuses, "not to support your dear mother's favorite brother, but to try and wriggle your way out of your princely duties."


Aegon's smile is mischievous in a way that distinctly reminds Criston of Rhaenyra. "No," he replies, "I wanted to support you too."


"You little–"


Laughter overtakes Gwayne. He tries to look stern, crosses his arms over his chest and feigns a frown, but that fight is lost within seconds. With the break of his bearing comes the break in Criston's own. He feels his shoulders shake with laughter. Aegon and Aemond laugh with them and for another few minutes, Criston still feels light.


That lightness dies when Gwayne pulls him to the side after a bit, a concerned frown on his face. "We haven't been close in a while," he admits, "but I hope you understand, Criston, that I value our old friendship. You seemed so… on edge, earlier. If you need to speak with someone…"


His expression is kind. Open. Inviting.


Criston feels a bittersweetness erupt in his chest yet. A wish to tell Gwayne of his troubles, an appreciation for his consideration, but also a resignation that he cannot vent to him anymore. Certainly not about this. So instead of telling him what's on his mind, he offers a thin-lipped smile that's so forced it manages to mangle itself into a grimace.


"Thank you, Gwayne," he says, "but I'm fine." At his doubtful look, he adds, "Truly."


Hurt flickers across Gwayne's face. Then a bitter kind of acceptance. He nods stiffly. "Of course," he says, "if nothing ails you, I'll be taking my leave then."


As he walks away, his back stiff and his gait clipped, Criston feels old again.






"I haven't seen you fight that ferociously since Rhaenyra was heavy with Aemon and Baelon," Laena says later.


She's sitting in the gardens, settled beneath the shade of a tree. A distance away, Laenor fiddles with his rings and Rhaenyra sits with Lady Sabitha and Ser Harwin. Criston is their guard, for all intents and purposes, but he feels a flickering of irritation as Rhaenyra throws her head back and laughs far too hard at whatever Ser Harwin's just said.


Laena's chuckle makes his eyes flicker to her. "I wasn't aware that you were at the spar yesterday, my lady."


Her smile is thin. "I only managed to catch part of it; Jacaerys had demanded a flight on Vhagar and he would have raised the Seven Hells if we had stopped. But from what I did see… you seemed upset."


Criston lets out a low sigh. Feels his attention catch on Rhaenyra again as she all but bats her eyes at Ser Harwin. Ser Harwin's grin is confident and more than a little smug, and a bit of pink dots on his cheeks that can't just be coming from the heat. Criston's eyes narrow viciously.


Laena snickers. "Am I correct in assuming that the sources of your discontent are with us at the moment?" Despite her amusement, her voice is quiet. Careful. The walls have ears, after all.


Criston blinks owlishly. "Sources?"


Laena tips her head slightly to Rhaenyra again. "Wait a moment," she says.


Criston waits.


Watches as Sabitha Vypren gestures to Rhaenyra. "Princess," she says, "I do believe that there is a leaf in your hair."


Rhaenyra makes a sound of dismay. "Will you help me get it out, my lady?"


Lady Sabitha's smile is dazzling. "Of course, I would be remiss not to help a fellow woman in need."


Criston squints. There are no leaves in Rhaenyra's hair. Lady Sabitha's fingers comb through the silver-gold locks for a brief moment, as if searching for any hints of greenery. They linger there longer than they ought to. As they pull back, Rhaenyra's smile is brighter than he's seen it in a long time. Very nearly shy. Lady Sabitha winks and she lets out a bashful peeling of laughter.


Laenor eyes them with amusement glittering in his own eyes as he regards them with a knowing look. He balances a dagger in his palm, looking like a cat who's caught a canary. Like a man who knows a secret no one else is privy to.


Surprise fills Criston then. There had been different interpretations about Rhaenyra's preferences in Fire and Blood among readers, but most of these speculations had been concerning her relationship with Laena. When she had not taken her to be a lover, Criston had assumed that she had no interest in women, that it had all been just that, speculation. Given the sight before him, it seems it was more accurate than he'd thought.


He can feel a headache forming between his eyes, brutal and merciless. Laena says, "I assume you've caught on then, given how you look as if you've swallowed a particularly sour lemon?"


He gnashes his teeth together. "Aye."


She swirls the wine in her cup. "If it's any consolation," she comforts, "this could be a good thing; no one will hold true to possible rumors about her with Ser Harwin, not if she's such close friends with the notoriously prideful Lady Sabitha."


Criston's jaw is so tight he thinks it might snap off. "And if rumors swirl about her with Lady Sabitha as well?"


Laena snorts. "That would be far too outlandish; it is one thing to think she might be bedding one. But both? No, that's practically an inconceivable thought."


Criston meets her eyes and thinks stormily that is little comfort at all.






After some consideration, he pays a visit to Ser Harwin. He purposely does so when Lady Sabitha is not around. Ser Harwin is the most pressing concern between the two of them, and if he has to speak with both of them at once about this, he thinks he might do or say something he regrets. So that's how he finds himself here, riding upon a fine horse with the man. It's warm out, a perfect day, but that does little to ease Criston's sour mood.


"Thank you for agreeing to ride with me," Ser Harwin smiles, "I have to confess, I find it preferable to being locked in a room when it comes to drafting plans." Criston hums. Draws his horse to a stop. Stares at him grimly. Ser Harwin's smile fades slowly until it dies altogether. "Is something wrong, Ser?"


Criston's smile is sharper than he intended for it to be. "I'll give you this, Strong," he says, "you have some guts. Not many men would try what you're doing, not many at all."


Ser Harwin's stare is wary. "I'm not sure I follow."


"Of course you do," Criston replies sharply. "It pertains to your business with Rhaenyra."


Ser Harwin stiffens. "Ser Criston–"


He raises a hand sharply to silence him. "I don't want to hear your excuses," he says firmly, "or any lies you may have. I would be a fool not to notice your interest in her or her interest in you or your wife."


"My wife–" Ser Harwin's tone is genuinely colored by surprise here. Then it's colored by what would be amusement were it not for the situation at hand. "Of course Sabitha would find a way to win her over."


Criston is going to die young with how much his blood pressure has risen over the last few weeks. He stares Ser Harwin dead in the eyes and ignores any traces of Larys Strong he finds in his features.


"Here is what is going to happen," he says grimly, "if you insist on carrying on with this utter foolishness, if you will continue to ignore all of the reasons why you should not seek out the heir to the Seven Kingdoms as your… companion, you will follow these instructions: You will not hurt Rhaenyra, ever. Not emotionally, not physically. You will be attentive to her and patient, and everything she deserves. You will take pains to ensure that moontea and other such contraceptives are always at her disposal; a Strong bastard in a royal cradle is the last thing the realm needs. And you will not be discovered. Not now, not ever. If there ever comes a time when you have the slightest inkling that your relationship with her is known, you will report it to me at once. Her reputation cannot be ruined. Can you do these things? Will you?


Criston purposely leaves the threats out of his demands. They are not requests, but he would rather not threaten a man whose brother he murdered. He will, if he feels he has to, but he hasn't gotten to that point yet.


Ser Harwin's frown is solemn. He's uncharacteristically serious in the silence that opens between them. After a long moment, he nods. "Aye," he says, "I can hold to those promises. I'm a man of my word."


Criston nods sharply. "And the Lady Sabitha?"


"She'll hold to them as well; they aren't unreasonable."


Criston hums grimly. "Ensure that she does."






Later in the day, a note arrives in Criston's chambers. He unfurls it and recognizes the scrawl of Lady Sabitha's handwriting. The block-like letters of Ser Harwin's as well.


Terms accepted, the note reads, and Criston rests his forehead against his interlocked fingers and sighs. He'll take his victories where he can get them.
.
.​
A/N: Thanks so much for hyping me up abt my exam guys, it really made me feel better. Hoping that the good energy you put out pays off lmao.

I'm NOT close to finishing this fic yet, but I was wondering if y'all would potentially be interested in little side stories once it's finished. Like one-shots to fill in the gap and AUs and stuff. Idk, maybe it's something I'll keep in mind for later if that's something you were interested in.
 
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The heir to the Seven Kingdoms and He knew from the moment she married Laenor that she would not be content with him as her sole company for the rest of her life.
Should be a lower-case "he"

He will, if he feels he has to, but he hasn't gotten to that point yet/
Should be a period at the end instead of a slash

That said, I thought Cole might've handled the end of his conversation with Gwayne a little better. Instead of what looks like a brush-off from the outside (because Gwayne and his nephews aren't mind-readers, after all), maybe Cole should've just made a vague excuse, or at least admitted that it's something that he can't/won't discuss.

And I certainly won't mind seeing extra content if the story's finished. I mean "when". When the story is finished. :tongue:
 
Should be a lower-case "he"


Should be a period at the end instead of a slash

That said, I thought Cole might've handled the end of his conversation with Gwayne a little better. Instead of what looks like a brush-off from the outside (because Gwayne and his nephews aren't mind-readers, after all), maybe Cole should've just made a vague excuse, or at least admitted that it's something that he can't/won't discuss.

And I certainly won't mind seeing extra content if the story's finished. I mean "when". When the story is finished. :tongue:
Thanks for catching these mistakes! I've fixed some of them, I'll smooth over the rest tomorrow.

Yeah, Criston definitely didn't handle the Gwayne thing the best, but that's just Criston being Criston sadly. He can be so emotionally intelligent at some times, and so... not at others. As for the extra content, yeah, I definitely plan on adding it in when the fic's done lmao. I'm not trying to start anything new till then.
 
Chapter 40
It's been four moons since Criston had his chat with Ser Harwin, and Rhaenyra is positively glowing. Ser Harwin and Lady Sabitha have remained close to her side throughout these last few moons and frowns mark the faces of certain members of court. Not because of any rumors of impropriety, thank the gods, but because her closeness with the Lord Commander of the City Watch and his lady wife spells for her level of influence over the Gold Cloaks.

Queen Alicent looks even more sour these days, and that would almost be enough to make Criston smile – he bloody hates the wretched woman – if he weren't so miserable. It's more than just the concern for Rhaenyra's reputation, he realizes as Rhaenyra's face lights up to see Ser Harwin. It's something close to nostalgia. Except nostalgia is supposed to be warm, supposed to be pleasant. This would be more like deja vu. The way Rhaenyra is looking at Harwin reminds him of the way that Aemma used to look at him. Not as devotedly – not yet, at least – but with a level of affection that sends echoes of familiarity echoing across Criston's mind.

He swallows hard. Ignores it. Stares straight ahead.




After that, despite trying as best as he can, he can't help but think of himself and Aemma whenever he sees Lady Sabitha or Ser Harwin interact with Rhaenyra. It's in the way Ser Harwin shows off in the training yards, the way Lady Sabitha does her best to coax smiles and laughter out of her, and the way they exchange small, subtle gifts with her.

That's what does it, in the end. That's what gets Criston to snap. Ser Harwin and Lady Sabitha her a box containing beautiful earrings. Criston can't see how beautiful they look because he's a good distance away. But he sees how Rhaenyra's face brightens with delight and then softens with genuine affection.

"A gift," Ser Harwin grins, "Sab helped me choose them."

"Harwin," Rhaenyra breathes, looking genuinely touched, "they're beautiful . Thank you."

A smirk cuts into the side of Lady Sabitha's mouth, but it looks softer than it usually does. More genuine. "You deserve no less," she says easily.

He's reminded, then, of all those years ago when he and Aemma stood in the library. When they exchanged books and read together and didn't dare to name what was forming between them. When times sure as the seven hells weren't simple, but when Criston was young and stupid and desperately in love and he hadn't felt like a fucking shadow of a man. Memory splits him open with a knife, splits him right at the center of his stomach, and twists upwards to slide between his ribs and stab through his heart.

Criston clenches his jaw. "I have some business of the Kingsguard to attend to," he tells Rhaenyra, hoping that she doesn't notice the tightness of his voice and the tremor in his hands. "I'll have Ser Willas guard you while I'm gone."

She laughs. "Ser Harwin is the strongest man in the realm, Ser Criston," she says, "and Lady Sabitha has talents of her own. I do not need Ser Willas here."

"I'll bring him anyway," Criston says. His eyes flicker to the Strongs. They are too hot, dangerously close to burning. "I trust that won't be an issue."

Ser Harwin looks a little sheepish, and Lady Sabitha frowns a little. "No ser," she says, "have no fear, we'll keep the princess safe until Ser Willas gets here."

Safe from any possible outside harm, the implication goes, and also safe from her reputation being marred.

Criston nods sharply.

"Very well then," he says, and he leaves before anyone can say anything else.




Once he's dispatched his orders to Ser Willas, Criston returns to his quarters. He locks the door and slides down to the floor. Rests his head against his forearms as he draws his knees to his chest. He takes one breath, then two. Then he takes a third.

Lovely lilac eyes race across his mind, lovely lilac eyes and a shrill, perfect laugh and platinum hair, and the words, "There is no need to return it," as soft hands passed him the book gifted to him all those years ago.

A sob rises from his throat. His hands curl into fists. He stares up at the ceiling. He wills himself to find the strength he needs to get up, to collect himself. Much to his horror, hot tears run down his face instead. They burn like drops of acid as they leave trails down his cheeks, collecting against his skin in hot pools. He lets out a strained gasp as he fights for air, his breath rattling in his chest.

Fuck.

He'd thought he was past this, but he should know better by now. Every time he thinks that his grief for Aemma has eased, that it has turned into a dull ache rather than a fresh wound, the scab rips open again and her loss is as acutely agonizing as it was thirteen years ago. There's a hole in his chest and he's rotting from the inside out as the years tick by and it never closes.

"Aemma," he croaks.

He doesn't say anything else both because he doesn't want to and he's not sure he could even if he tried. He half-rises to his feet and stumbles over to the box where he keeps all his most prized possessions. Feverishly, desperately, he scrounges through it, dumping everything that isn't what he's looking for to the floor. When he finds the adventure book that Aemma gifted him all those years ago, he clutches it to his chest tightly.

He catches sight of himself in the mirror, then, and recoils at what he sees. Gods, how pathetic he looks. His eyes are rimmed red and his hair looks a mess and he's clutching at Aemma's book like it will somehow make her come back to life. He's sobbing so hard that he's on the verge of vomiting and he's probably having a panic attack and he hates himself for it.

He's supposed to be stronger than this. Aemma entrusted him with Rhaenyra's safety; how is he supposed to fulfill that duty if he breaks so easily? If he snaps at the smallest reminder of her. Revulsion fills him. Self-loathing, too. He looks away from the mirror, unable to bear the sight of himself. Before he knows it, his first is rising in the air to strike at the floor. His knuckles strike at the stone head on and he hears a crack. Then he registers a searing, awful pain. He flinches and draws his bleeding, mangled hand to his chest.

And just like that, all of the fight leaves his body. It's as if he's bleeding out his energy with the literal blood dripping from his fist. Criston rolls on his back and stares at the ceiling. He needs help. He's self-aware enough to know that, at least. But there's no one to speak with in this world, no professionals capable of giving the kind of aid he needs. This burden is his alone to bear.

Criston drags his non-injured hand over his face and rests for a moment longer. He allows himself just a few more minutes to stall before he goes to visit Grand Maester Orwyle.




Later, when the Grand Maester has fixed his hand into a splint and Rhaenyra has worried over him, and he's come up with the lie that he was trying to help a poor maid with something and accidentally caught his hand on a door, Criston finds himself sitting in an isolated corner of the Red Keep, flipping through Aemma's book. It hurts him to see it, to run his fingers along the same pages that Aemma once read, but the ache has lessened since his episode, and in its own twisted way, that's reassuring. The grief is still there, but the panic has passed, and even if he has to keep scratching at that scab to remind himself that he hasn't lost his mind, he'll keep doing it.

"I thought I'd find you here."

Laena's voice is warm and rich. Criston looks up from the book.

"My lady," he says, offering her a strained smile, "how did you find me?"

Laena must see how fake the look on his face is, because she grows a little more solemn. "The servants talk," she says, "and the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard's favorite place to retreat is always noted."

Criston lets out something that could have been a laugh any other time. "Am I truly so predictable?" he asks.

Laena settles beside him. "Not so much predictable as dependable," she replies. She leans over to catch a look at his book. "What book is this, to make you so blue?"

Her voice is teasing but gentle. Light but full of warm concern. Criston meets her eyes, so full of life, and before he can stop himself, he says, "It's an adventure book. A gift from someone very dear to me once."

She arches an eyebrow. "Oh?" Her tone is playful. "How dear, Ser?"

And Criston should stop, shut the hell up, and not say anything at all in response to that, but he's so tired and the wind in his sails is gone and even if he can't tell the whole truth, he needs to get at least some of this off his chest. He trusts Laena more than he trusts a great many people, and that's enough to get him to say what he does next.

"Its previous owner was a woman I loved once," he replies.

Laena is silent for a long moment. Her eyes go soft in that way they did three years ago when he worried over Rhaenyra's labors.

"Ah," she says softly, "I see."

Criston lets out a slow sigh. "It was before I joined the Kingsguard," he adds, feeling defensive, "I hadn't said my vows yet."

Laena shakes her head. "I would not have judged you if it were after." That takes him by surprise, though it shouldn't. A long moment of silence passes. "Will you tell me about here?"

He glances at Laena out of the corner of his eye, hesitating. How much should he tell her? "She was a good woman," he settles on finally, "and the kindest soul I've ever met. She suffered many hardships, but she still shined brighter than the sun. She had a quiet sort of strength about her that I admired deeply."

Laena hums. "She sounds like she was a lovely woman. What happened to her?" Criston's jaw clenches. His expression darkens and she raises a hand. "Be at ease, Criston. If you do not wish to speak any more of her, I will not force you to."

He leans back so that his back is pressed against the wall. It feels less vulnerable that way. "Queen Aemma died and she left court," he says, and it is not a lie. Not completely at least. "Rhaenyra needed me, and I could not follow her."

He ignores the treacherous part of him that thinks that maybe some part of him did follow her to her funeral pyre. When he looks back at Laena, he finds raw admiration on her face.

"You loved Rhaenyra to give up on a woman you loved desperately, given you still hold on to her old possessions," she says. "I am sure you hear it often, Criston, but you are a good man. Better than many in this world deserve."

He smiles tiredly. "I wish I had more to remember her by," he says. Rhaenyra is worth more than any amount of gold, worth more than the stars and the sky and the world itself, but if he could have more of Aemma, he would always take it.

Laena traces over the book. "The artwork is beautiful," she says, her fingers flitting across the falcon flying on the cover.

Criston nods. "So it is."

Her look grows contemplative. After a moment, she rises to her feet.

"Forgive me," she says, "I didn't mean to intrude on your silence. I'll let you remember your lady love, whoever she was, in peace."

You didn't bother me, Criston thinks. He's too wary to say the words out loud.

Instead, he just nods and watches her leave.




It's three moons later, on his thirty-seventh name day, that he finds a box left in his chambers. He frowns as he opens it, both curious and all too tired to deal with whatever nonsense it could be. What he finds is a sterling silver pendant hanging from a chain. It's a beautiful thing, delicate and elegant and exactly as it looked on the cover of Aemma's book.

A note has been left in the box. It reads:

I could not give you something new of your woman, whoever she was, but mayhaps I can give you something that honors her. I had it commissioned by the finest silversmith in King's Landing. Wear it, or do not, if it is too painful. All I ask is that you smile to see it.

– Laena


And Criston does smile. It spreads across his face from ear to ear. His cheeks hurt from the force of it. He cradles the pendant in his palm. He hesitates for a long second, despite how touched he is. He's a little afraid that he'll curl into a ball all over again when he puts it on. But he won't squander Laena's consideration. He refuses to. Slowly, as if he fears he will break it or himself or both in the process, he slips it over his head. It rests, coolly, against his sternum.

He turns to look at himself in the mirror and sees the metal peeking out from beneath his shirt. He doesn't think he could bear it if he saw it hanging from his neck with nothing to cover it, but he doesn't have to. This move of generosity from Laena, this testament to Aemma, is enough to steal the breath from his lungs, but not in a way that threatens to ruin him.

Criston turns away from the mirror and decides he'll keep the necklace on.

Laena doesn't say anything when she sees the chain around his neck, and it feels like too raw of a thing to thank her outright. But she smiles at him and he smiles back, and an understanding forms between them.

.

.​

A/N: I got an itch to write and had to get this chapter out before I went to sleep. Apologies if this seems like spamming or smth lmao. What can I say? When I get inspired, I get inspired.
 
Before he knows it, his first is rising in the air to strike at the floor.
Should be "fist"

Heck yeah, more Cole and Laena content. Now I'm just waiting for Rhaenyra to comment that that was her mother's favorite book Cole was reading, raising more questions for Laena.

I'm not trying to start anything new till then.
Is this the part where I say that I'm still waiting for an update to the "memory-dumped into Aerys Targaryen's bastard son" story? Because that's not "new". :tongue:
 
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Chapter 41
The Twenty-Third day of the Fourth Moon, 120 AC

Criston has faced many opponents over the years. He's crossed blades with great fighters and bad fighters, grown men and green boys. He has decades of experience by this point, a whole life of it even. That doesn't stop him from regarding Aemond carefully in the Dragonstone's yards as he runs training drills. He's gifted with a blade, Aemond. He certainly takes more interest in it than Aegon. That could be a dangerous thing, part of Criston murmurs. It could also very well be a boon in this life if the cards fall right.

"Aemond," he calls, "stop."

The boy lowers his wooden training sword, his brow furrowed. "Did I do something wrong, Ser Criston?" he asks.

Criston pauses. "No," he said, "this isn't something you did wrong, only something you could do better."

Aemond's glance at that reminds him very much of Rhaenyra when she is put out. "I did make a mistake then."

Criston softens a little at his clear dejection. In the years that he has been his sister's ward, he's grown fond of the boy. It's hard not to when he's so genuine. The trauma of losing his eye to Lucerys Velaryon must have ruined him, but there must have been something else that fundamentally broke him in the events of Fire and Blood ; Criston cannot imagine the sweet boy who stands before him now committing war crimes in the Riverlands.

"Rest easy, lad," Criston says to him, "you're doing just fine. I was only going to tell you to hold your blade up higher. You're doing well."

Aemond's expression lights up. "You think so?"

He ruffles his hair. "Did I not just say so, lad?"

They keep training for a while, and Aemond manages to get the hang of the drills after a bit longer. He's tired by the end of it, sitting on the ground as he tries to catch his breath. Criston hauls him up, feeling a strange combination of pity and amusement.

"Stand," he suggests at the boy's wheezing, "it will help you catch your breath."

"Ser Criston," comes a chiding voice, "I sincerely hope you are not trying to kill my brother."

Aemond perks up to see its owner. "Rhaenyra!" he calls. He stumbles to his feet, dirt and sweat and grass clinging to his clothes, and rushes to embrace her. Rhaenrya wrinkles her nose at the state of him, a grimace flashing across her face, but wraps her arms around him all the same. Aemond is small for his age, but Rhaenyra is short for a grown woman. He reaches her ribcage. She drops a kiss to the top of his head, her lips pressing against his damp silver-gold hair.

"I am happy to see you too, fierce one," she smiles, "tell me, how has training gone today?"

Aemond wriggles further into her hold. "It went well," he said, "Ser Criston is a very good teacher."

Criston smiles"I am flattered, my prince," he says.

Rhaenyra hums in contemplation. "He is a decent enough teacher, I suppose," she agrees, "though there is always room for improvement."

Criston arches an eyebrow at that. "Should I be offended by that, my princess?" he asks.

She smiles at him sweetly. "Of course not, ser. After all, that is one of the lessons you taught me when I was about Aemond's age."

He squints at her. Crosses his arms over his chest. "If I were a lesser man," he says dryly, "I would be hurt."

"It is a good thing then that you are a giant among men," Rhaenyra quips. She kisses Aemond once more on the head and drops her arms. "Go take a bath, Aemond," she says affectionately, "you reek."

Aemond's face goes red. He goes to sniff at his clothing. "I don't smell that bad!" he replies in a futile attempt to defend himself.

Rhaenyra levels him with an unimpressed look and Criston laughs. "My apologies, my prince, but I fear the princess is right."

Aemond glares at the ground. Rhaenyra ruffles his hair and sends him on his way. As she watches him go, a smile stays fixed on her face. Criston eyes her curiously for that. When she returned to Dragonstone, she did not bring Ser Harwin or Lady Sabitha with her. Ser Harwin because, of course, he commands the City Watch. And Lady Sabitha because, though she is her lady-in-waiting, she had some business to attend to with her family. In the nearly two years since they started their arrangement, Rhaenyra has not been without the both of them at once for such a long stretch before. When she isn't completing her duties upon Dragonstone, she's been moping. Except for now.

"What makes you smile so widely, my princess?" he asks.

Rhaenyra's eyes flicker to him. "I received a raven from my father this morning," she says, "he tells me that he's finally told the Hightower bitch –" he gives her a look at that and she rolls her eyes "the queen ," she amends grudgingly, "of the betrothal between Aemon and Helaena."

It's about time, Criston thinks with no small degree of relief. He pushes down the twinge of discomfort and focuses on the practicality of it. After all the tap dancing around the issue that King Viserys had done for the last two years, he's finally mentioned it to Queen Alicent. If he's done that, he'll be announcing it publicly soon. There will be no chance for revocation then. The match will be secure.

"That's good," he replies, "you must be pleased."

She nods, one corner of her mouth quirking upwards. "I am. This is the best chance I have of uniting my blood with Otto Hightower's. If a war breaks out now, I will know that I have done all I possibly can to prevent it. And Helaena deserves a crown. I am glad to be able to give her one. She and Aemon will make a fine match."

Criston regards her for a moment. "I am proud of you, Rhaenyra," he says, "you have grown so much from the little girl I first met all those years ago."

She laughs. "When you first met me, I was a girl of seven. Now I am a woman of three-and-twenty. It seems only natural that I would grow."

Criston's smile is thin. She has him there, he supposes. But still–

"You have grown into a woman I am proud to call my future queen," he insists, "both as a ruler and a person. Queen Aemma would be proud of you if she could see you today."

Rhaenyra's eyes meet his. There is something sad in her gaze, a sort of bittersweetness. "Thank you," she says. Then, after a second, she adds, "I am glad that my mother could call you a friend at court. She bore a terrible burden; even as a girl, I could tell that you lightened her mood."

Criston stares at her for a long moment. Feels a lump rise in his throat. Then he smiles and squeezes Rhaenyra's hand. "It was my honor, princess," he says. I loved her, he does not add. Instead, he says, "I would have done it any day."




Rhaenyra's good mood about the betrothal between Aemon and Helaena does not last for very long. The disruption to her mood comes in the form of two dragons swiftly approaching Dragonstone less than two nights later. It's storming when the servants come to them with the news that two dragons have been sighted flying to Dragonstone.

Rhaenyra waves a hand at the servant as she plays her game of cards with Laena and Laenor. "Dragonstone has many wild dragons," she says, "what's the difference here?"

The servant hesitates. "It is difficult to tell, with the rain and the darkness, but your men believe them to be Sunfyre and Dreamfyre, my princess."

Criston stiffens. Rhaenyra sets down her cards.

"What?" she frowns. "Why would Aegon and Helaena be here? Was there any news from King's Landing that they would be arriving?"

The servant shakes his head helplessly. "Not that I know of, princess."

Rhaenyra stands from the table.

"Rhaenyra," Criston calls, "where are you going?"

"If my brother and sister are going to land anywhere, it will be in the great courtyard," she says grimly, "they have flown to me in the middle of a storm; it could not have been for any small motivations. I will see them now, and not a moment later."

"Put on a cloak at least," he says, "it's bound to be cold outside."

To his immense frustration, she ignores him. He grabs one himself and hastens to follow after her; gods, she's fast.

They walk out to the courtyard. Lightning cracks across the sky. The rain pours down on them, stings their eyes, and weighs down on their clothing. Criston's teeth are chattering and Rhaenyra is shivering.

"Here," he says, not even trying to hide his surliness, "put a cloak on. You'll get sick otherwise."

To his relief, she obeys this request. Her gaze, though, is entirely focused on the two great forms before her. And sure enough, Sunfyre and Dreamfyre have settled before Dragonstone. As lightning crackles again, their golden and blue-and-silver scales respectively flash in the dim lighting. The rain beats down harder.

"Aegon!" Rhaenyra's voice is high with anger and concern. "Helaena! What are you doing here? By the Seven, it's storming, you could have been hurt !"

Aegon and Helaena, who have clambered from atop their dragons, run to her. Helaena's eyes are distant in that way they are when she's lost to the world, preoccupied by things no one else can dream of or understand. Aegon's eyes, on the other hand, are wild. Wild, Criston thinks grimly, and more than a little rabid.

"Rhaenyra," he shouts over the wind, "please, you have to help us."

Rhaenyra must see the distress on his face because she softens and goes to cup his cheek. "Help you with what, little brother?"

What happens next gives Criston an absolutely horrible headache.

Aegon wrinkles his nose and points to Helaena.

"I don't want to marry her ," he says.
 
I see that The Hightower Bitch can't just take the free fucking win that was handed to her. Not surprising. Also not surprising that The King couldn't keep hold of his spine-unless The Queen is trying to get ahead of the planned betrothal by lying and claiming Aegon and Helaena are betrothed publicly before the actual betrothal could be announced.
 
Chapter 42 (Interlude: Aegon)
The Twentieth Day of the Fourth Moon, 120 AC

In Aegon Targaryen's thirteen years of being alive, he holds two fundamental truths close to his heart. They are not ones he would ever admit out loud, he thinks. They should stay unspoken, secrets that only he knows. It's better that way, for different reasons. Uncle Gwayne would never stop smiling his stupid smile if he knew, and he doesn't know what Rhaenyra's reaction would be.

As he descends up the steps of the Red Keep to its rookery, he nearly stumbles into Grand Maester Orwyle. He shouts at the man's sudden appearance – and it is a shout, not a yelp – and barely manages to twist out of the way. It is a testament only to the horrid training Uncle Gwayne makes him suffer through that he manages to avoid him. His back presses against the wall as the Grand Maester levels him with a flat look. He smiles a little sheepishly, feeling the back of his neck brickle in embarrassment.

"My prince," he says, "you seem to be in a rush today."

Aegon nods. "Aye."

"Would I be correct in presuming that you are headed to the rookery?" he asks.

"You would be correct," Aegon acknowledges, "another letter from Rhaenyra should be arriving soon. They always come around this time of the week."

Grand Maester Orwyle hums. "You have training with Ser Gwayne soon, do you not? I doubt that your mother, the queen, would be pleased to see you here when you should be preparing to train."

Aegon looks at him sharply. "What I do with my own time is my business, Grand Maester," he says.

The man inclines his head. "Of course it is, my prince," he assures him, "I only meant to spare you and Queen Alicent both the frustration of a row."

Aegon squints at him. "Thank you, then," he says grudgingly. Then he adds, "I'm still going to the rookery."

Grand Maester Orwyle's smile is thin. "I believe I did see a letter for you there," he says, "you might get your wish after all."

He brightens at that. "Wonderful," he chirps, and then he rushes up the steps to get to the rookery, leaving his mother's man in the dust. He's still sore from the training Uncle Gwayne put him through yesterday, and his lungs suck in air sharply, a tell-tale promise of the burning to come, but he doesn't care. If Rhaenyra's letter for him is truly here, then it will all be worth it once he is holding it in his hands.

Aegon opens the door to the rookery quickly, a grin cutting into the side of his mouth. He steps inside and his weight sinks into the lush red rug set across the floor. He rustles through the letters quickly, searching for Rhaenyra's. As he does so, he sees one for his mother amidst the piles. That's not exactly a surprise – she is the queen, after all, and lords and ladies from all across the realm write to her to curry her favor. What catches his attention is the sigil of House Hightower emblazoned across the envelope. Without thinking, he snatches it up. Frowning, he looks around to see if there's anyone else here. Then, feeling a little foolish, he holds it tighter. He would have seen if the rookery were occupied upon entering it. And even if it were, he is the eldest son of the king. He might not be his father's heir, but that still counts for something at court. What's more, he's picking up his own mother's letter. He isn't snooping, he's just… observing it.

Aegon turns the letter over in his hands and tries to guess who it's from. It could be any one from his mother's family – from his family, he thinks distantly. It could be from Lord Ormun, who is his mother's cousin, or his lady wife, or any of their sons. It could be from a more distant relation as well, from a cadet branch of their house who seeks to gain her favor by informing her of the comings and goings of Oldtown. The most likely sender of this letter however, Aegon thinks, is his lord grandfather.

Grandfather left court before his tenth name day after infuriating Father. Aegon isn't a bloody fool, he knows it was over making him heir instead of Rhaenyra. He has fuzzy memories of his mother's father. He remembers his stern face and brown hair and solemn eyes. He remembers how his mother, who has always stood so tall, almost seemed to fall into his shadow when he was around. He remembers the stupid lessons he made him take, the ones Mother still makes him take even now. For the letters alone, Aegon could mislike the man. For his disrespect to Rhaenyra, Aegon certainly does mislike him.

He sets his mother's letter back to its original place, feeling a scowl steal across his face. When his mother gets a letter from his grandfather, she always grows more agitated. Sometimes she seems vindicated, but other times she is wroth. He is not particularly eager to discover which one this letter will bring with it. He abandons the letter from Oldtown in search of Rhaenyra's once again.

He finds it after another minute or so and beams to see it. He rips it open excitedly, his foot tapping impatiently against the floor, and reads it right then and there. Rhaenyra's handwriting is as elegant and looping as always.



Dearest Aegon,

I hope that you've been well. Helaena has told me in her letters that training has been difficult for you, a detail you neglected to mention last time we spoke. I can practically see you frowning, little brother – I would ask you to stop. The purpose of me mentioning this is not to chastise you, only to remind you that I, as your older sister, will always be there for you. You can trust me with your struggles. Mayhaps I might even be able to offer you good advice. Though in this instance, I suppose my advice would be to relay your problems to Ser Criston and then record his response to them.

Dragonstone has been calm since my return. Aemon is glad to be back, though I think Baelon might miss the bustle of the Red Keep. It is fine; he will adjust. He has his brother and cousin, and Aemond as well. Speaking of Aemond, I am proud to say that he has been progressing well in his training. The next time you write to him – and really, Aegon, you should be sending him more letters – you should congratulate him.

The smallfolk continue to thrive here on Dragonstone. The crop rotation we implemented all those years ago is seeing fruition quite nicely. I will have to see if any other lords might be interested in implementing it. Though the lords are stubborn and set in their ways, and they regrettably are not always interested in what is best for their smallfolk. Nevertheless, I will speak with our father about how it might be implemented in the countryside around King's Landing upon my return.

I am not to return for several moons, so when you write to me, tell me what you might like as a gift or something else you might appreciate more than steel. You already have far too many daggers, but mayhaps I can find you a fine tunic you might like. Oh, and be a darling and check on Helaena for me. In her last letter, she seems distressed by something. She wrote of curses quite fervently. I know that she is often plagued by her dreams, whatever they may be, dragon dreams or otherwise. Go to her the day you receive this letter – I am not above holding your next gift hostage, my favorite oldest little brother. Make sure she's alright, and then write back to inform me. I worry about her, sometimes. Our sweet sister deserves the world, as I am sure you would agree.

In any case, I hope that your time in the Red Keep has not been too miserable since I left. I know that you must miss me terribly – stop your pouting, I can feel it already. As always I will remind you of my eternal fondness and devotion. I hope that, upon my return, you will not be too old to embrace your favorite older sister. You are nearly a man, but not quite yet. And you will never be too old for me to dot kisses on your brow.

With the greatest love,

Rhaenyra




Aegon's smile is so wide that he thinks his face might just crack in half. He closes his eyes and clutches Rhaenyra's letter tightly in his hands. The parchment crumples a little and he swears and sets it out across a desk to smooth it over. He feels warmth fill him as he looks over the last paragraph again. He can almost see her open arms and quirked brow already. He misses her terribly. He always does, even if she is only a flight on Sunfyre away.

Aegon's first memory is of Rhaenyra. He can recall it vaguely. In the memory he's sitting in her lap, his face pressed against the fabric of her gown as she rocks him gently. He can't remember what the color of her gown was – he thinks it might have been maroon, but he cannot be sure – but he does recall trying to play with the rings on her fingers as she laughs and tells him the story of Boba Fett, the greatest sellsword to ever live. That's one of the stories Ser Criston told to her when she was a girl, Aegon knows. The fact that she then chose to tell the same story to him makes his throat tighten with emotion. No one would ever dare say it at court, but Ser Criston is Rhaenyra's second father. The stupid ones, or the ones who haven't been here long, might titter at their closeness, but anyone with a properly functioning mind and a halfway decent pair of eyes would be able to tell that they're like father and daughter, those two.

And here lies one of Aegon's greatest secrets, one of his two truths: if Ser Criston is like Rhaenyra's father, then Rhaenyra is, in some way, like his own mother. When Aegon thinks 'mother,' often Alicent Hightower and Rhaenyra flash across his mind at the same time. Maybe it is because he is ten years his senior, and they have grown up in the same stages at the same time. Maybe it is because of his sometimes tenuous relationship with his actual mother. But in any case, the lines between 'sister' and 'parent' blurred a long time ago.

Rhaenyra is some strange combination between a sister and a mother with her kisses on his brow and her patience to listen to his troubles and his desperate need to make her proud. He craves her approval, craves her attention, in a way that a boy younger than him would seek out his mother. It's foolish, Aegon knows, and ever since he overheard one of his father's comments, he's tried to avoid clinging to her skirts so obviously. He is too old for such things, and he already has a mother. But he can't help but see Rhaenyra in that light all the same.

The ringing of the bells makes Aegon's head snap up. He tucks Rhaenyra's letter between his doublet and his ribcage and swears. It's almost time for his training! He might not care for the training one bit, but he'll never hear the end of it from Uncle Gwayne if he arrives late for the third time this week. He races down the steps and rushes to his own chambers. He haphazardly tugs his training shirt over his head and changes the rest of his attire as well. Then he runs as fast as his legs can take him to the training yards.

He must run like the Stranger is chasing after him, because by some miracle he manages to get to the training yards just before they're about to start. He props his hands against his kneels and leans over, gasping for breath as sweat trickles down his brow.

"Aegon," Uncle Gwayne says, "you're just on time, I see."

He looks up, feeling sheepish all over again. "That I am," he huffs out, "see? I'm able to manage my time just fine."

Uncle Gwayne lets out a skeptical sound and he looks up to see his exasperated expression. He hides a wince. He might not like training, but he is loath to disappoint his favorite uncle, his mother's favorite brother.

Instead of yelling at him, like his sister would have done, Uncle Gwayne just sighs. "I will give you a moment to collect yourself," he says, "after that, we'll get to work."

Aegon straightens at the steel in his voice. He meets his eyes and nods grimly.




As with every training session they have, Aegon gets the piss beaten out of him. Uncle Gwayne is not purposely cruel, but he does not go out of his way to hold himself back either. By the end of it all, he's got the promise of bruises littered all over his body. His ears ring as he stares up at the sky, lying flat on his back. His sword has been cast off to the side, knocked from his hand. The taste of iron sits heavy on his tongue. When he rolls over to his side and spits, blood drips from his mouth. He wipes at his face and grimaces.

Uncle Gwayne sighs. A calloused pair of hands reaches beneath Aegon's arms and hoists him up. He leans against him and groans. Uncle Gwayne pats at his back. "You're alright lad," he comforts, "stand up straight. There you are."

His eyes are gentle as he guides him to a spot of shade, the autumn sun unusually warm. He sends a servant to fetch Aegon some juice. Aegon breathes hard, wheezing. His uncle ruffles his hair awkwardly. Worriedly.

"I hate this," he gasps, "why does Mother insist I train like this?"

His uncle sighs. "I know it seems harsh, what we're doing here, lad. But the truth is that we're making you into a worthy man."

He frowns at that. "Is a man's only worth in his ability to wield a sword? My father is too fat to fight, and he sits on the Iron Throne."

"You shouldn't speak of the king in such a fashion," Uncle Gwayne chides, "he is your lord and master as well as your father."

Aegon shrugs. "I'm right all the same. And you didn't answer my question."

He shifts uncomfortably. Then, after a long second, he says, "No, not every man is held to the same standards that you will be held to, once you're grown. The standards that you're held to now, to be truthful. But you are the eldest son of the king, and you must fulfill certain expectations. It is not fair, but such are the matters of life."

Aegon huffs. "I don't see why I'm being held to these standards. It's not like I'm going to be king."

Uncle Gwayne hesitates. "Aegon–"

He shakes his head. "It's the truth," he insists, "if anyone should be held to these standards, it should be Aemon once he's old enough. He is my sister's heir, and Rhaenyra is going to be the one to succeed our father, not me."

Uncle Gwayne's expression is tight, but he holds his tongue and does not say anything in reply. Instead, he simply passes Aegon his cup of juice once the servant returns. In that moment, he loves him for it. His mother would have screeched at him for even uttering those words in her presence.

Sometimes, Aegon thinks that even if Mother loves him, she sees him more as a tool than anything else.

Uncle Gwayne treats him like an actual person. He does not ignore him in favor of another child, like Father, and does not constantly remind him that he is the "rightful king," like Mother. Even if he makes him train, he always makes sure not to push him too far and makes sure he's alright after. He bounced Aegon on his knee when he was younger, and fought with Grandfather to get him to take lessons when he was especially young. He has been a constant in his life since he was little, always constant, even when they have had their disagreements.

As Aegon gulps down his juice and wipes at his mouth, he thinks about his second great secret, about his second truth: that Uncle Gwayne has been more of a father to him than Viserys Targaryen, the First of His Name. That it is Uncle Gwayne who flashes across his mind upon the mention of 'father,' not the neglectful man who only seems to care about Rhaenyra. Who has only cared about Aegon or Helaena or Aemond or Daeron in passing, and only when it has suited him. He would sooner celebrate him as a father than anyone else.

Instead of saying all of that, he just decides to shut his mouth and stop complaining. He will not ever be king, regardless of what his uncle wants, but that does not mean he needs to fight with him about it now, especially since he's had this argument with so many people already.

Exhaustion fills him. He runs a hand across his face. "I'm going to bathe," he mumbles, "Mother wants us to dine as a family tonight. Father agreed."

Uncle Gwayne nods and ruffles his hair one last time. "Go then," he says, "and make sure to rest tonight. We'll take tomorrow off."

Aegon pauses. Grins. "Thank you, uncle."

Uncle Gwayne's responding grin reminds him faintly of his mother's.




After Aegon bathes, there are still a few hours left before dinner. Remembering his promise to Rhaenyra, he goes to find Helaena. She is in the gardens of the Red Keep with a few girls her own age – potential ladies-in-waiting, he remembers. A beetle crawls over her hand. As it's about to fall off, she lowers her other hand so that it drops into her waiting palm rather than the ground. The other girls regard her with horror. One fans herself, looking very much as if she's about to faint.

Aegon scowls. Helaena and her bugs. He walks up to them and the girls around her all drop hastily to curtsies.

"My prince," one of them says, "we weren't expecting you!"

"That's because I didn't tell you I was coming," he replies curtly, "leave us, I wish to speak with my sister." The sooner he gets this over with, the better. The girls flinch and he would almost feel bad about it if his mood were not so sour.

They leave and he settles beside his sister. She doesn't acknowledge him, only mumbles something incomprehensible beneath her breath. Aegon rolls his eyes. Hard.

"What are you prattling on about now?" he asks. The beetle scuttles across her arm and his scowl deepens. "You shouldn't play with random bugs, you know. They could be poisonous."

"You're worried?" Helaena's voice is soft, but teasing.

He blinks. Then he scoffs. "You're my sister," he says, "obviously I'm going to watch to make sure you don't get yourself killed. Even if you're bloody strange." For a second, he thinks he catches a shadow of a smile flickering across Helaena's face. He squints and it vanishes. "What's this about you rambling about curses?" he adds.

Helaena hums. "Rhaenyra told you about them?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "She asked me to check on you."

His sister's hand closes around the beetle in a loose fist. Not tight enough to crush it, but not loose enough to let it fly away randomly. Her eyes get distant in that way they do when she's slipping into her own world. He stiffens.

"The child, named for a house's wronged heirs, and second to break the curse they bear," she mumbles, "the child, named for the eldest born of a sniveling king. Destined to unite seven kingdoms with a will uncompromising."

Aegon grasps her shoulder and squeezes. He knows by now not to shake her, that might only make things worse. "Helaena," he snaps, "come back to your senses."

He hates it when she gets like this, all somber and eerie and distant. He hates to admit it, but it gives him a proper spook every time.

He keeps squeezing his hand tighter and tighter until Helaena lets out a pained hiss. Her eyes snap to him, no longer distant, but accusing all the same. He drops his hand, feeling a flickering of shame.

"Sorry," he grunts, "I didn't mean to squeeze you so hard." She rubs at her shoulder. He picks at a blade of grass and does not look at her. "What was all of that about?" he asks.

Helaena sighs deeply. "I dreamed it."

He frowns. "You've been dreaming many things lately, it seems."

She shakes her head. "No," she corrects him, "just this one dream."

Aegon doesn't know what to say to that. He just stares at her, hapless and unnerved. This is exactly why he doesn't like spending time with her, she's so fucking strange all the time.

"You should speak with Father about it," he says, "he likes you best, besides Rhaenyra. Maybe he'll know something that can help you."

She only hums.




Dinner that night is unusually tense. Aegon glances warily from over the brim of his cup as his mother stares frostily at his mother from across the table. Helaena keeps murmuring to herself about the same things from earlier. Daeron is still very little and huffs, cross to be seated in one place for so long. Father pretends as if he doesn't know that Mother looks like she wants to stab him with her knife. Best of luck to him with that, because if she tries, Aegon certainly is not going to put himself between the two of them.

"Lad," his father says to him, breaking the tense silence, "how did your training with Ser Gwayne go this morning?"

Aegon pokes at his food sullenly. "About as well as expected," he drawls, "I got the piss beaten out of me."
"Aegon," his mother admonishes sharply, "watch your words. Such behavior is not befitting of that of a prince."

He resists the urge to roll his eyes. "Yes, Mother. Apologies, Mother."

"When Rhaenyra returns, I will ask if Ser Criston can train you. If all goes well, mayhaps you can participate in the melee celebrations."

Aegon raises an eyebrow. "The melee celebrations for what? It's not as if Rhaenyra doesn't return every half-year's turn."

His father raises a cup to his lips and casts a wary look at his mother. "Aemon is to be betrothed," he says lightly.

Aegon's eyebrows leap to his hairline. Helaena's murmuring grows more fervent.

Mother's grip on her knife tightens. "That is significant news," she says tightly, the tone of her voice dangerously soft, "might I inquire to whom?"

Father sighs. "Come now, Alicent; I have been trying to hint to you all day the bride I intend for my grandson."

A beat of silence passes. Helaena says beneath her breath, "Second to break the curse they bear." Aegon ignores her in favor of the impending eruption of an argument between their parents.

"I want to hear your answer for myself," Mother replies. Her voice is as smooth as butter.

Father sighs. "Helaena, wife. I have agreed to betroth Aemon to Helaena."

Aegon's eyes widen. He holds his breath, feels his heart beat wildly in his chest. If there's one third fundamental thing he knows to be true, it's that this won't be well received. Not well received at all.

Sure enough, his mother's chair scrapes across the floor with a loud shriek. She's stood up, her face pale with fury, the chair thrown behind her with the force of momentum.

"How could you?" she spits. "I thought we had already agreed on Helaena's husband. It was not Rhaenyra's whelp."

Father scowls and rises to his own feet. "You will not speak of my grandson in this way, Alicent. Mind your tongue."

Aegon takes that at his hint to promptly leave. He nudges Helaena lightly and picks up Daeron. As strange as his sister is, and as loud and occasionally irritating as his youngest brother is, he will not abandon them to this.

"Let's go," he hisses.

They slip out just as their parents' voices raise to full on shouts.




The Twenty-Second Day of the Fourth Moon, 120 AC

It's the two days later that Aegon overhears a conversation he was never supposed to bear witness to. He does not know it yet, but it might just alter the future of the Seven Kingdoms. He's on his way to his mother's chambers for his lessons – she's recently started making him attend lessons of the Seven ever since she caught him kissing a servant girl. He still hasn't forgiven her for sending the girl away. He might not have loved her, but Jeyne was pretty and sweet, and she blushed whenever he smiled at her.

In any case, that's how he finds himself here, standing before the doors to his mother's chambers. It's then that he hears voices through the door. Furious, intense hisses. There are no guards within eyesight, to his surprise – she must have sent them away, but why? Curious, he draws closer and presses his ear against the door.

"How dare he!" his mother is hissing. "Helaena was always meant to marry Aegon. It is his right as a Targaryen. The marriage would have lended him a legitimacy Viserys otherwise refuses to grant him. But my useless husband refuses him even this."

"He was wrong, yes," comes Uncle Gwayne's voice, "but there's hardly anything we can do about it now, Alicent. The betrothal has been made. It is legal and acknowledged by the king."

There's a long beat of silence. Then feverishly, almost desperately, Aegon's mother says, "Viserys has not yet made the match public. What if we had Aegon and Helaena marry, in secret?"

Growing horror fills Aegon. Dread sinks like a stone in his stomach. Marriage? To Helaena? He would rather never get married at all.

"Are you mad?" Uncle Gwayne snaps. "The king would just annul the match. Helaena hasn't even flowered yet besides."

"Viserys is weak," Aegon's mother replies, "if the marriage is done, he will not fight it. Even if it remains unconsummated until Helaena's flowering."

A chair pulls back and the sound of footfalls reaches Aegon's ears. He shuffles forward and, with bated breath, cracks the door open as much as he dares, which is not much at all. He's betting on the fact that they'll be too absorbed in their argument to notice. Uncle Gwayne is holding Mother by her shoulders, his teeth bared back into a snarl. He shakes her fiercely, his grip on her rough.

"You are being monumentally foolish, sister. You are not just defying a legal betrothal, you are defying a legal betrothal sanctioned by the king. To force your children, my nephew and niece, into marriage – do not lie to yourself and pretend as if either Aegon or Helaena will want this marriage. How do you think the lords of the realm will regard you? Even our supporters will sneer at us and decry you as mad."

Aegon's heart drops as his mother's expression remains resolute.

By the gods, she's really going to make him marry Helaena.

He turns around, feeling bile crawl up his throat as he races away. He needs to warn Helaena, needs to find her. They have to get out of here. He refuses to be tied to her under the eyes of the Seven for the rest of his life, and he doubts she wants that either. So he'll be damned if he lets it happen.

(In his rush to leave, he misses how his mother's resolve crumbles. How she weeps and says, "I know," and how Uncle Gwayne comforts her, assuring her that she will not lose her only daughter to Rhaenyra.)




Aegon waits until the sun sets to make his move. He finds Helaena in her chambers. He sneaks into her room, his chest heaving. He has two bags thrown over his shoulder. One is full of his things, essentials haphazardly thrown inside. The other is empty, for his sister.

"Wake up," he hisses, shaking her fiercely, "for the love of the gods, Helaena, wake up."

She stirs with a groan. The stare she levels him with once she finally cracks her eyes open is the closest he's ever seen her get to a glare.

"What's going on?" she asks.

Aegon drags her out of bed. He's not gentle, but he makes sure not to be rough after yesterday at the gardens. "Mother wants to marry us," he says.

She stares at him with wide eyes. "What?"

"You heard me," he snaps.

She begins to tremble. "The child, named for a house's wronged heirs, and second to break the curse they bear," she repeats, "the child, named for the eldest born of a sniveling king. Destined to unite seven kingdoms with a will uncompromising."

Aegon snarls. "Helaena, now isn't the time. Get yourself together, we're leaving."

That seems to shake her from her stupor a little at least, though her eyes are still distant. "Leaving? Leaving where?"

He smiles grimly. "We're going to someone who can help us run to Rhaenyra."

Helaena draws herself up, more steely than he's ever seen her. "Only death awaits a green union," she murmurs, "only in the mirror image of the seahorse brings the chance of salvation."

Aegon huffs. "Don't go breaking out into fits now," he warns, "we can't afford that."

With that, they're slinking through the halls of the Red Keep to find the two people who Aegon trusts completely to get them to their sister.




If Harwin Strong and Sabitha Vypren are surprised to see them so late at night, they do not show it. Instead, Rhaenyra's fiercest supporters at court offer them watered wine and bread. Aegon doesn't eat; he hasn't got the stomach for it.

"What can we help you with, my prince?" Lady Sabitha's gaze is sharp with curiosity. Ser Harwin looks torn between amusement at whatever they could be getting up to and concern that something is genuinely wrong.

Aegon and Helaena glance at each other.

"Mother–"

"Betrothed to Aemon–"

"Wants to marry us–"

Ser Harwin's amusement fades to total concern. "Slow down," he says, "and repeat what you just said."

Helaena draws back into herself and so it's up to Aegon to explain the situation. He sucks in a deep breath. Clutches at his hair as panic fills him. "Three nights ago, our father told our mother that he betrothed Helaena to our nephew, Aemon. Earlier today, I overheard her speaking with our Uncle Gwayne. She plans on marrying us before our father can make the announcement public."

Lady Sabitha lets out a low, unpleasant noise. Her eyes blaze with anger.

Ser Harwin's brow knits together. "I see," he says, "that would be alarming indeed. I see why you would be upset."

"So, little prince," Lady Sabitha interjects, "what can we do for the both of you?"

Aegon looks her dead in the eyes. He's always liked her, ever since she arrived at court. Many mislike her because of her sharpness, her fondness of holding a blade, and her abrasiveness. But she is one of his sister's best friends, one of her most ardent supporters, and he respects her for that. What's more, he trusts her.

"Get us out of the Red Keep," he says, not above pleading if he has to, "and to the Dragonpit. If we can reach Sunfyre and Dreamfyre, we can fly to Rhaenyra."

Ser Harwin sucks in a sharp breath. "You intend to flee from King's Landing?"

Aegon's hands ball into fists. "What else can we do? If we stay, our mother might very well drag us before a septon." He squares his shoulders. "So, will you help us or not?"

Ser Harwin and Lady Sabitha exchange a long look. Then they nod in unison.

"Aye," the heir to Harrenhal says, "we'll help you."

And Aegon doesn't like Ser Harwin nearly as much as he does Lady Sabitha – not through any fault of his own, his wife is just much more fascinating than him, in his own humble opinion – but the amount of relief and respect that mingles together in his chest is palpable. He nearly crumbles as his eyes fill with years.

"Thank you," he rasps.

Ser Harwin rests a hand on his shoulder. "Of course."

Lady Sabitha grasps Helaena's hand. "We would never let any harm come to Rhaenyra's beloved siblings."




Ser Harwin and Lady Sabitha do not accompany them personally, but they do send four of their most trusted members of the City Watch with them. They scramble through the secret tunnels of the Red Keep in the dead of night. Aegon's heart beats so wildly that part of him thinks it might stop.

"How do you know about all of these tunnels?" he had asked.

Lady Sabitha had winked and said, "We have our ways – it's secret City Watch business, you know," as Ser Harwin had snorted.

It had been amusing then, but is less amusing now as they struggle out with the map drawn for them. Aegon is so tense that he thinks he might be permanently stuck with stiff limbs. Beside him, Helaena holds herself similarly. They let out tandem breaths of relief when the night sky grows visible. Stars offer some modicum of light. It's more than just the torches at least.

Together, with the trusted members of the City Watch, they snake through King's Landing and toward the Dragonpit. Sunfyre must sense Aegon's anxiety on some level or another because his roar splits through the air. The dragonkeepers regard them warily when they catch sight of the group.

"Prince Aegon," they greet, "Princess Helaena. What can we help you with so late in the night."

Aegon lifts his chin. "My sister and I want to fly our dragons."

The dragonkeepers frown at each other. Then one of them, old and weathered with graying hair and pale violet eyes, says, "Forgive me, my prince, but do you have the leave of the king or queen?"

Aegon hesitates. Then one of the City Watch men steps forward. His movements are easy, almost lazy, as his fingers run along the hilt of his sword. "Step aside, old man," he says softly, "these are not matters that concern you."

The dragonkeepers stiffen. "What–"

"You heard us," another City Watch man says, "no one needs to get hurt here. Just mind your own business and move along."

The old dragonkeeper regards Aegon, dismayed. "My prince?"

Aegon bites his lip. Finds it difficult to look him in the eyes. Beside him, Helaena reaches for his hand. "You heard them," he says finally. It's as if he finds strength in his sister's gesture. "Move."

Grudgingly, the dragonkeepers all obey.

Aegon and Helaena race to Sunfyre and Dreamfyre respectively.




It begins to rain soon after they depart, because of course it does. As if they haven't had bad enough luck already. The rain slams down over their heads. It clings to their clothing and their hair, and it's absolutely frigid. Aegon's teeth chatter as he grips at Sunfyre's slippery reigns with numb hands. Lightning crackles across the sky and thunder roars ferociously. Helaena shrieks and drives Dreamfyre lower, closer to the Blackwater Bay. Aegon swears and urges Sunfyre into a dive after her.

"Helaena!" he calls. "Be careful! Don't let the waves swallow you!"

"To his relief, she seems to hear him because Dreamfyre flies a little higher again, though still closer to the waves than he would like.

By the time they land on Dragonstone early into the morning, Aegon is freezing. He can't feel his hands and he's trembling all over, and his lips are so numb that part of him worries they might just fall off.

All of these things are almost forgotten – almost, not completely – when he catches sight of Rhaenyra's form in the courtyard, Ser Criston at her heels. Aegon and Helaena clamber off of their dragons, eager to reach her.

"Aegon!" Rhaenyra's voice is high with anger and concern. "Helaena! What are you doing here? By the Seven, it's storming, you could have been hurt!"

Aegon runs closer to her, desperation clawing at his throat. Desperation and more than a little wildness.

"Rhaenyra," he shouts over the wind, "please, you have to help us."

Rhaenyra must see the distress on his face because she softens and goes to cup his cheek. "Help you with what, little brother?"

Aegon wrinkles his nose and points to Helaena.

"I don't want to marry her," he says.
 
Thank heavens Gwayne was there to talk Alicent down...even if Aegon ended up missing it in his panic.

As he descends up the steps of the Red Keep to its rookery, he nearly stumbles into Grand Maester Orwyle.
That should be "ascends". "Descends" means going down.

Maybe it is because he is ten years his senior, and they have grown up in the same stages at the same time.
That'd be "she is ten years his senior" because it's referring to Rhaenyra, right? I'm suddenly embarrassed by actually not knowing the age difference between them. :redface:

Aegon glances warily from over the brim of his cup as his mother stares frostily at his mother from across the table.
I assume the second is supposed to be "his father" instead.

It's the two days later that Aegon overhears a conversation he was never supposed to bear witness to.
I think "the" is superfluous here.
 
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Okay, so Alicent was just plotting and Aegon overheard, she didn't actually do anything publicly. That's more understandable.

Also, really great to see Aegon's POV; he really loves his sisters, even if he obviously has a favorite.
 
Chapter 43
Rhaenyra's solar is deadly quiet. Outside, the storm has reached its weight, the rain lashing and the wind shrieking. Criston can hear it raging against the castle itself. That rage, however, pales in comparison to Rhaenyra's own stony countenance. She stares at Aegon from across her desk, her expression blank. The boy shivers even now, even after having bathed and changed into a warm pair of clothes. Beside him, Helaena mumbles to herself.

The silence is oppressive. Suffocating, even. Criston looks at Rhaenyra out of the corner of his eye, pursing his lips. What an absolute disaster this is. The queen, plotting to force her eldest children into marriage. Aemon and Helaena's betrothal being disrespected. Aegon and Helaena fleeing from King's Landing in the middle of the night – during a storm no less – with the help of Sabitha and Harwin.

It's more than a disaster, he decides grimly, it's a fucking nightmare.

Aegon sneezes, the movement shaking his entire body, and Helaena flinches at the sudden noise. Rhaenyra's stony facade breaks, for a moment, at the pitiful sight her siblings make. She stands and walks over to the other side of the desk. She reaches to Aegon with one hand and to Helaena with the other.

"My bold brother and sweet sister," she says, "how brave both of you have been. I am so very proud of you."

Aegon melts into her at those words. She kisses the crown of his head, her lips pressing into his silver hair. Helaena wriggles further into her hold. Criston averts his eyes. Rhaenyra is his, but the other two are not, as much as she might love them. He almost feels as if he's intruding upon a quiet moment, a tenderness that should be reserved for the three of them alone.

He clears his throat, loathe to separate them, but anxious to resume their business. "Princess," he says, "mayhaps your brother and sister should get to bed. It has been a long night for them, after all."

Aegon scowls. "You're going to talk about what to do next," he accuses, "I refuse to be left out–" his jaw cracks with the force of the yawn that overtakes him. "I refuse to be left out of the conversation."

Rhaenyra's smile is gentle but firm as she regards him. "Ser Criston is right, little brother. Go rest, and then we will reconvene once you and Helaena wake. I promise we will not bundle you up and ship you to King's Landing while you sleep."

He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. "That wasn't funny, Rhaenyra."

But his eyes are drooping and Helaena herself is slouching, and they are ushered off to bed without much more protest. Rhaenyra watches them leave with fondness. Then, turning back to Criston, Laenor and Laena, she grows more serious again.

"What am I to do with this?" she says sharply. "What a mess Alicent has dropped into my lap."

Laenor frowns from where he's seated. "Can we not simply keep them here until things blow over in the capital?"

She shakes her head. "I would not put it past Alicent to try to claim that I have kidnapped her children."

Laena scoffs. "She could try to claim such a thing," she replies, "but everyone at court knows those children adore you, goodsister."

Rhaenyra runs her fingers through her hair. "Everyone at court," she agrees, "not those further from King's Landing."

Laenor rubs at his brow. "We cannot send them back. Not when you have given your word to them."

"Do you not think I know that?" Rhaenyra whirls on him, all bared teeth and flashing eyes. "I would never simply thrust them back into the claws of that evil Hightower bitch regardless."

Criston shuffles on his feet, his mind whirling. "You do not need to return them," he says, "you need only inform the king of their whereabouts, and quickly."

Rhaenyra turns to him, her eyebrow raised. "Explain."

"There's a good chance the queen will already pin the blame of their flight on you," he says, "at the very least, she will try to poison the king against them remaining at Dragonstone. If they return to court, there will be no guarantee that she does not try to have them married as soon as they arrive."

"Where is the solution here, ser?" Rhaenyra bites out. Her brow is furrowed and her eyes are narrowed, and her neck is taught with alarm. He tries to keep her stress in mind and does not take her retort to heart.

"As soon as the storm ends, Ser Laenor should fly to King's Landing. Let our side of the story meet the king face-to-face, not through letter."
"Me?" Laenor pipes up with a furrowed brow. "Why not Rhaenyra?"

Criston grimaces. "Aegon and Helaena fled to Dragonstone for the safety she offered. I do not think they would flee again if she were to leave, but that is not a chance I wish to take. And besides, I do not know if Rhaenyra has it in her to lower her head to the queen in a case like this."

"'Rhaenyra' is right here," comes the voice of the princess.

Laena's mouth ticks up into a small smile. "Is our good knight wrong?" she teases.

She huffs, and in this light, she looks very much like Aegon indeed. "No," she grumbles.

Laenor rubs at his chin, his brow furrowed. "Might it not be a stronger show of force if we send Laena upon Vhagar instead?"

Criston shakes his head furtively. "We must be firm," he insists, "not threatening. The king might take Vhagar flying over his city negatively."

Laenor bristles a little at that. "Is Seasmoke not an intimidating sight?"

Laena pats him on the shoulder, a smirk cutting ever so slightly into the side of her mouth. "Peace, brother," she says, "it is not your fault that I have the superior mount." She looks back to Criston. "I shall set for Driftmark now. Vhagar can withstand this storm, I know it. And the sooner we have the aid of my lord father and lady mother, the better."

Concern sparks, hot and sharp, in Criston's chest. "No," he snaps, more fiercely than he intended to. Laena's eyebrows jump to her hairline. "No," he repeats, softer this time, "I do not doubt your flying ability, my lady, but the risk is not worth it. A few more hours without Lord Corlys and Princess Rhaenys will not kill us. We may seek them out when it is safe to do so."

"Were you anyone else, ser," Laena says wryly, "I might have taken offense to that."

Laenor clears his throat. "I am glad that you care for the safety of my family, Ser Criston," he says, "but it might be time to draw this meeting to a close. I will need my rest if I am to fly to King's Landing in the coming hours."

"Ser Criston will go with you," Rhaenyra says firmly.

Criston blinks. What? he thinks.

"What?" Laenor blurts. His cheeks flush with indignance. "Do you not think I am capable of handling myself?"

Rhaenyra taps at her temple. "If the Lord Commander himself goes with you, it will give you more legitimacy, husband."

Laenor leans back into his chair, somewhat soothed by her words. "Very well," he grunts. "So it shall be."

"So it shall be," Criston echoes.

Rhaenyra's answering smile is grim.




They set off a few hours later, before the sun has slid over the horizon. The sky is gray and murky and there is still a chill in the air. Rain still drizzles slightly, but it is not much of anything at all and it is safe enough to fly.

Laenor curses to himself as he mounts Seasmoke. He is put out, it seems, by the ill weather. He wears a thick tunic-doublet combination and pants made of wool. His boots are high and gloves adorn his slender hands. He's tied his silver hair back and the angles of his face are sharper in this light, made only sharper by the irritation glimmering in his violet eyes.

"Fucking Alicent Hightower," he grumbles, "turning what should have been a good day to shit."

"I was unaware that you had plans for the day, Ser," Criston replies dryly. His stomach rolls as he clambers onto Seasmoke's back. Even after all these years, being upon dragonback still does not come easily to him.

Laenor snorts. "My plans consisted of lying in my bed with Joffrey until noon. In my warm, soft covers that I now will not see for days on end. Nor will I see my beloved."

"I am sure that Ser Joffrey will survive without you," Criston replies. "It is only for a few days, if we are lucky."

Laenor laughs. "Spoken like a man who has never been in love."

Criston's mouth draws very tight at that. Laenor commands Seasmoke to take to the skies, and for the rest of the flight, he is silent.




King's Landing, when they arrive, is not in as much disarray as it could have been. It is certainly abuzz – there are sideways glances in spades as Criston and Laenor are led to the throne room – and on edge, but it is not full of the chaos that they might have expected.

The reason for why becomes obvious once they arrive to meet the king.

King Viserys, for once in his life, looks intimidating as he sits ramrod straight upon his throne. His silver-gold hair is greasy and there are bags under his eyes and his belly is as round as ever, but there is an intensity burning behind his eyes, a fierceness, that makes Criston do a double-take.

Before him stand two figures, one much taller than the other. Criston's eyes narrow as he recognizes the broad shoulders of Ser Harwin and the angular form of Lady Sabitha. Both of them grimace beneath the weight of his glare.

At the sound of footsteps, King Viserys' eyes shift to Criston and Laenor. "Lord Commander," he greets coldly, "goodson. Would you care to explain to me why the Commander of my Gold Cloaks and his lady wife have reported to me that my son and daughter have fled to their sister? To Rhaenyra, your charge and wife respectively?"

And instantly, it makes sense. The reason the Red Keep is not in complete chaos is because – quite wisely – Lady Sabitha and Ser Harwin reported to King Viserys before complete panic could take root. He glances at them out of the corner of his eye, feeling a grudging flickering of approval. Despite Rhaenyra's unfortunate taste, they are good for something.

Laenor clears his throat beside him, looking very much as if he does not want to be there. Then he recounts Aegon and Helaena's time on Dragonstone to their retirement to bed.

The king's expression grows more and more stormy. He rises from the throne, his face pale with anger. "Unbelievable!" he roars. "First, mine own children flee from my care, and the only reason I know is because my own Goldcloak commander reported it after he aided them. Now you claim my wife the queen was to wed my children in secret – breaking the betrothal between Aemon and Helaena in the process – and that was the cause of their flight?"

Laenor winces at his tone. "Aye, Your Grace."

King Viserys looks to Criston, then. "Ser Criston?" he asks.

He raises his chin. "Ser Laenor speaks the truth, Your Grace, to the extent of my knowledge."

King Viserys' shoulders sag. He rubs at his temples. He looks, at this moment, far older than his years.

"Return to Dragonstone, boy," he grinds out to Laenor, "and recite this command to Rhaenyra: she will return to King's Landing at once, with Aegon and Helaena in tow. She will not dally, will not stall. By the end of the morrow, I want all of my children beneath my roof. Rhaenyra tells me one thing, and my wife the queen another. I will find the truth for myself."

Laenor bows. "As you wish, Your Grace."




And so it is done. Rhaenyra returns to King's Landing a few months before she was initially due to. Two other dragons accompany her, however – Vhagar, who was expected, and Meleys, who was somewhat less expected. Criston raises an eyebrow. It seems that Lord Corlys and Princess Rhaenys have come to support Rhaenyra personally. That is good. The bonds of blood and marriage are strong.

King Viserys hears the different points of view, the contradictions and growing frustration between Queen Alicent, Gwayne, and others of the Green faction, and Rhaenyra and her Blacks.

"Enough!" he spits out eventually. Turning to Aegon and Helaena, he says, "Son, daughter, I will speak with you in private, away from these differing arguments. Maybe then we will get to the bottom of this."

They enter a room together, all three of them, and stay there for what seems like hours.

In the meantime, to soothe her own frustration and distract from the "mind-numbing boringness of waiting," as she puts it, Rhaenyra challenges her husband and his family to a round of cards.

She, Laenor and Laena set out to play on one team. Lord Corlys and Princess Rhaenys are set to play on the other.

"The teams are imbalanced," Princess Rhaenys frowns. "I will not play against cheats."
Laenor laughs. "Mother," he says, clicking his tongue, "how could you accuse your own children of such a vile accusation?"

She levels him with a flat look. "It is not an accusation if it is true, Laenor."

Laenor only laughs harder.

Rhaenyra groans. "Please," she says, "can we not just play? Only the Seven know how long my Father will keep poor Aegon and Helaena trapped in that room for, and I have no intention of simply looking at the wall whilst I wait."

Lord Corlys sighs. Then his eyes meet Criston's. A smile tugs at his mouth. He likes him, Lord Corlys does. Ever since they… took care of the issue that was Larys Strong all those years ago, they have had a report. The Sea Snake feels gratitude toward him, yes, but a certain measure of respect has been built up over the years as well.

"Cole," he calls, commiserating, "you're off duty anyway, why don't you play? If I must listen to any more of this clucking about rules and fairness, I think I will throw myself into the sea."

Outraged words are exchanged in response to that. He simply cocks an eyebrow and regards Criston.

Criston debates the pros and cons of refusing to play and quickly decides that simply giving up and playing will make this all go by more quickly. Lord Corlys flashes him an approving shade of a smile tinged with moroseness. He feels, then, a sudden stab of betrayal. This was not about making the teams even, this was about having someone else to share his misery!

As he moves to sit at the table, Rhaenyra's eyes narrow. She frowns and points to his chest. "What is that?" she asks.

Criston looks down and bites off a curse; his necklace, Laena's gift to him, has slipped from beneath his tunic. The silver of the falcon pendant glows softly in the torchlight. Before he can stop her, Rhaenyra is reaching for it, grasping it between his fingers.

"It was a commission I received recently," he says curtly. It is one thing to wear the pendant beneath his clothing, to cradle it closely to his skin. It is another thing to bear it in the open, to have Rhaenyra of all people holding it. He tugs it out of her grasp as quickly as he can while still being gentle and places it back beneath his tunic.

Her smile is soft. Nostalgic, even. "It is quite beautiful, Ser," she tells him, her voice very soft suddenly, "it reminds me of the Arryn falcon. I so enjoyed my time at the Vale."

Criston stills. His throat grows tight. He hardly dares to breathe. His face fixes into a thin smile, something he knows looks painfully false. He hopes that the falseness of it is mistaken for exhaustion and nothing else.

Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Laena's posture stiffen from a slouch into a straighter position. He pretends not to notice her eyes boring holes into his head for the rest of his game.




Aegon and Helaena are dismissed from their father's company after an hour and a half or so. To Criston's surprise, Rhaenyra is summoned back to him. He rises from his seat out of habit to follow her. She shakes her head with a smile and rests her hand on his shoulder, stopping him before he can fully stand.

"There is no need to accompany me, Ser," she says, "your last few days have been difficult. You have already done your part; I can face my father on my own."

Criston bites the inside of his cheek. "Are you sure?" he wants to ask.

But Rhaenyra is a woman grown now, has bloodied herself, and proven to be a capable diplomat. Questioning her would be an insult she would not take kindly to in the least.

"Very well," he says instead, grudging."

She eyes him for a moment, as if able to read his mind. Then her smile grows bright. She squeezes his shoulder, almost as if in thanks. Thanks for what, he does not know. Is it his concern? His willingness to stand aside? A combination of both?"

Then she's off.

With Rhaenyra gone, the teams are uneven again. The remaining group gives up on cards and are instead content to just converse. Laenor is arguing with his royal mother about something or another, and Lord Corlys is content to watch on neutrally. Laena does not join in. Instead, she shuffles to sit closer to Criston.

He stiffens as she approaches. The hair at the back of his neck rises. He finds that he cannot meet her eyes, cannot even look at her. There is a shift in the air. There are times in your life where you can sense you're well and truly fucked. When you can feel yourself nearing the edge of a cliff, about to plummet with no hope of stopping.

"So," Laena hums, "an Arryn falcon, hm?"

Criston's hands curl to fists so tightly that his knuckles go white and he leaves crescents in his palms. He thinks his knuckles might pop out of his sockets if he grips any harder, but he can't find it within himself to loosen his fists, even as the hand he injured cries out in pain.

"Laena," he says, and his voice is soft and quiet and breathy, nothing more than a whisper, "please don't."

There is a long beat of silence. He stares at his lap.

She sighs. "Fine," she acquiesces, "but at least loosen your fists, you'll only injure yourself."

He does not.

"Criston." Her voice comes out angrier, this time, commanding.

The door to the room they're in opens again, and suddenly Rhaenyra is back. It's only the surprise her presence brings that gets his hands to uncurl.

She looks completely exhausted and worn beyond measure. There are bags under her eyes and tension in her shoulders and her jaw is clenched, but there is victory behind her eyes as well. Smugness.

"Wife," Laenor chirps, "how was your audience with the king?"

"It could have been better," Rhaenyra responds, "he is still not sure of Alicent's movements to marry Aegon and Helaena. He does acknowledge, however, of her consideration of the union."

"And?" Laena asks.

"And I have coaxed him into a date for the wedding of Aemon and Helaena," she replies back, clearly pleased. "Alicent's good behavior is no sure thing, he knows this. So I pushed for an early wedding. It will give us enough time to make a spectacle of it before the great lords, and forgo the concern that Alicent might force my siblings before a septa."

Criston suddenly feels very cold. "When is the wedding?" he asks. It feels as if he has something stuck in his throat. "How soon are we talking?"

Please, he thinks – and he has never been a godly man, but now he prays – let it not be horrific.

"It will be on Aemon's seventh name day," Rhaenyra replies, "a holy number for a day of victory."

It's as if the floor crumbles beneath Criston. "What?" he croaks. "Rhaenyra, no. There are other ways to prevent the queen's movements."

"No way as sure as this," she says, firm. Unflinching. In this moment, with a sinking heart, the remnants of his modern moral recoiling, he knows that he cannot change his mind. "It is done. Already, ravens are being prepared to announce my father's intentions."

Criston stands from his chair. Almost stumbles.

Rhaenyra frowns. "Ser Criston," she says, "are you well?"

"I need air," he says, his chest heaving. He thinks he might hyperventilate. He can't stand to look at her now, can't stand to stay and consider what she's done. Part of him worries that he might see sense in such a monstrous thing, and he does not wish to.

He slips out of the room.

It has begun to rain again. Criston hears the pattering of droplets hitting the roof. He wanders aimlessly, as if his feet have a mind of their own. He doesn't realize that they are guiding him to the gardens until he's already there. The gardens, where he first realized he held a flame for Aemma. Aemma, who was wed at all of eleven and bedded when she was still just a child, an innocent girl. Aemma, whose grandson is now to be married at an even younger age, even if no consummation will take place until years later.

He trembles as he slumps against the weirwood tree. The rain drenches his hair and makes it stick against his face. His clothing clings to his frame too tightly. He doesn't try to get up, just lets the downpour unleash all of its fury upon him. His stomach rolls. He feels sick to his stomach.

And then he begins to weep because part of him, as much as he hates himself for it, sees the sense in Rhaenyra's actions.




He pays for staying outside in the cold, pouring rain. He grows ill and is bedridden. Perhaps this is his penance, though he could have been punished with far worse. His teeth chatter as he shivers and trembles beneath his covers and vomits in the bucket set out for him.

He could pay a worse price, he thinks grimly.

His fever grows worse, much to Rhaenyra's alarm. He falls into a sort of delirium where he dreams and dreams and dreams. And then, one day, during the height of this state, he confesses his greatest burden to another.
 
What would be Cole's greatest burden, though? The thing with Aemma? Being isekai'd and knowing all the others' eventual fates, as well as the original Cole's? 🤔

Outside, the storm has reached its weight, the rain lashing and the wind shrieking.
That should be "height"

and her neck is taught with alarm.
The adjective is spelled "taut"

I shall set for Driftmark now.
"set off"? "set flight"? "set wing"? I'm just not sure if "set" works on its own.

Ever since they… took care of the issue that was Larys Strong all those years ago, they have had a report.
Should be "rapport"

"Very well," he says instead, grudging."
Stray quotation mark at the very end.
 
Chapter 44 (Interlude: Laena II)
Criston is sick, and Rhaenyra is miserable, and both have become Laena's problems. She watches on as Rhaenyra paces across her chambers, her hands wrung together and her brow pinched. She twirls at the rings on her fingers. Laena follows the motion, and tracks it through narrowed eyes. She knows Rhaenyra well enough to catch her tells.

"The Grand Maester says his condition is stagnant," she says. The words growl out from her throat. Her lip curls and her eyes flash. "How useless is the man that he cannot heal the Lord Commander of the Kingsgaurd?"

Laena takes a sip of her wine and does not speak. Rhaenyra continues to pace. Laena lets her do it. Her goodsister is worried, and she will not begrudge her for that. Especially when she herself is concerned as well. But there is something else there, as well. It is in the lines of her face, in the way Rhaenyra's eyes shine with something that could be dangerously close to tears.

Guilt.

"He should never have gone outside," Rhaenyra grits out, more to herself than to Laena, "who sits in the pouring rain?"

"A man in distress," Laena says before she can think any better. Rhaenyra swings back to face her, her expression dark. She does not flinch. Instead, she shrugs a shoulder and takes another sip of her wine. "Don't give me that look; you know as well as I do that he was displeased by the upcoming marriage between Aemon and Helaena."

Rhaenyra's expression grows even more thunderous. "Mind your words," she says.

Laena raises an eyebrow. She sits up a little straighter in her chair. Rhaenyra is in distress and feels guilt ridden and seeks to lash out at everyone else as a result. That does not mean that Laena will tolerate being spoken to in such a way.

"Mind my words?" she echoes. "Or what?"

A tense beat of silence passes. Rhaenyra's eyes stay fixed on her own. Turmoil swirls behind them, full of all kinds of conflicting emotions that she will not even begin to try and decipher. Then she's slumping into her own chair.

"Mayhaps my snapping was undeserved," she says grudgingly. That is the closest Rhaenyra ever gets to an apology, in most cases. Laena has learned to accept them. She is not like Laenor, whose pride is sometimes as puffing as a peacock's, or like her father, whose ambitions fill his dreams, or like her mother, who still nurses grievances from decades ago. She is able to forgive easily, and so she does.

"You are only worried for Ser Criston," Laena says, "it is only natural."

Rhaenyra does not seem to absorb her words. "For as long as I can remember," she says, "he has always taught me that it is my responsibility to care for my people, to ensure they live under a banner of peace. Then, when I made moves to ensure that peace, he looked at me as if I was some kind of monster."

Laena resists the urge to click her tongue. "He did not look at you as if you were a monster, he was distressed. There is a difference."

Rhaenyra takes a deep gulp of her wine. She chokes and some of it spills down her jaw to trace her throat. She keeps gulping it down and down and down until she's done. Her cup slams against the table. Her mouth is smeared with red. Like wine and like blood.

"He's never looked at me like that," she says.

The statement hangs heavy in the air, unfinished. It's as if she wants to add something else. Laena allows the silence to settle over them, waiting to see if Rhaenyra will say anything else.

She does not.




For the first few days, Laena is mildly concerned, but mostly assured that Criston will be fine. Then time drags on, and then it has nearly been a week since he fell ill, and he has grown worse. She throws a ball against the wall, scowling, as rain pours over the world outside of the Red Keep. The very same rain that made Criston ill, and that keeps her from flying Vhagar and relieving at least some of her stress.

And she is stressed. Criston is Rhaenyra's father in all but blood and name, he adores Aemon and Baelon, and he is good and patient with Jacaerys. It was he who helped to ensure that Rhaenyra and Laenor would not have a miserable marriage, and that they could find any sort of friendship. Their union is passionless, but it is not loveless. There is an understanding between them that Laena thinks many men and women would love to have. She did not have it with Daemon, though she thinks that, had he lived, it might have formed with time.

But more than what he has done for those Laena cares about, more than how he treats them, is the fact that over the years, she has come to care for him himself. Not because he is Rhaenyra's sworn shield, not because he is Laenor's friend, or for any other reason, but because he is Criston. She had taken a liking to him early on thanks to his good looks and dry wit, but the care is deeper now. He is well and truly a friend to her, and a good one at that.

His condition, as a result, troubles her.

"Is there truly nothing that can be done?" she asks Rhaenyra. "The Grand Maester is sure he must pull through on his own?"

Rhaenyra's mouth flinches downward. "I'm no more thrilled about it than you are," she grumbles, "but yes."

Laenor kisses her chastely on her brow. "I'm sure Ser Criston will be fine," he tells her, "he would not be felled by something as small as a fever."

Rhaenyra scoffs. "Of course he wouldn't. You don't need to tell me that, husband."

Despite that, her hands tremble from their place in her lap. Laena glances at her out of the corner of her eyes. Her own hands twitch and before she knows it she is holding Rhaenyra's.

"You should visit him," she says, squeezing her goodsister's hands lightly. Rhaenyra's grip grows firmer. "I know he would be glad to see you."

Rhaenyra looks away. "I'm the reason he's sick in the first place," she says, her voice laced with bitterness, "I do not think he would be glad to see me at all."

This time, Laena cannot stop herself from clicking her tongue. This earns her a sharp glance, but she pays it no mind. "Self-flagellation does not suit you," she tells her. Rhaenyra scowls and pulls her hands away. Laena allows herself to mourn the loss but keeps her eyes fixed on her. "You know I'm right."

"I do not wish to be lectured like a child," Rhaenyra says with finality. "Go visit Ser Criston, if you must, and tell him I wish him well, but do not try to chastise me into doing what you wish me to."

Rhaenyra has always been too stubborn for her own good, sometimes even at the cost of herself and of others.

Laena sighs and leans back further into her chair. She knows when to pick her battles, and the effort spent on this one would not be worth it. "You will regret this," is all she says, wary.

Rhaenyra flinches. Something behind her eyes grows wounded. But then her pride gets the best of her and she draws herself up. She scoffs as she stands up. When she storms out of the room, she does not look back.

(Despite her clear resentment, Laena finds a letter stuffed unsanctimoniously between her books. In looping, elegant lettering, the envelope reads: give this to Ser Criston, should you visit him)




Laena does go to visit Criston, both because she feels she owes it to him, and because she knows that Rhaenyra will break once she does. She is stubborn and prickly and too proud by half, but she is not cruel. She will not leave Criston alone once she has time to cool her head and see that her challenge has been accepted. Laena thinks that she would have gone to him regardless – she loves him too much not to – but at least now she will not hate herself for waiting too long.

She grips Rhaenyra's letter loosely in her hand as she strides into the sick room. Septas and an attending maester jump in surprise at her presence. She leans against the doorframe, arms crossed against her chest.

"My lady," one of the maids says, "how may we help you?"

"My lady," the maester protests at the same time, "you should not be here."

Laena takes a moment to eye them both. This maid, with her rough skin and calloused hands and crow's feet. This maester, with his soft skin and round belly and proud, aristocratic features. One pair of eyes wisened and wary, another arrogant. In the span of a moment, she finds which one she likes more.

"I should not be here?" she repeats. Allows the right side of her mouth to twitch into a too-sharp smile. "I believe I can go anywhere I want. Or do you mean to tell the Princess of Dragonstone's goodsister, the rider of the greatest dragon alive, where she can and cannot be?"

The maester swallows nervously, his bobbing throat giving away his unease. Part of Laena is aware that she is being cruel. Her eyes flick to Criston's form on the bed. Another part of her, a larger part, finds that she does not care.

"Forgive me, my lady," the maester says, inclining his head, "I meant no offense."

Laena hums lowly, nearly lazily. "Leave us," she commands, "I bring news from Princess Rhaenyra."

The maid flees the room with her initial wiseness. The maester flees the room with newly learned wiseness.

Laena pulls up a chair by Criston's bedside. Her heart twinges as she sets her eyes on his frame.

He does not look well, not in the least.

His face is flushed and his breathing is labored. His hair, damp with sweat, fans across his pillow in black strands. His lips are chapped and his skin is sallow. Every time he takes a breath, a faint wheezing fills the air.

Laena looks away. It is more difficult than she thought it would be, seeing him like this. She is so used to Criston in all his might, polite and kind and radiating with quiet strength. Seeing him so weak makes something in her chest twist sharply.

Her hand lifts to hover over his face. She keeps it suspended in the air so as not to wake him. With one index finger, she traces an imaginary like down his cheekbones, down the path of his jaw. She is not completely sure where this tenderness comes from; she is an affectionate creature, not a gentle one. She pictures him as he usually is, so assured and tall and powerful, and tries to will that version of him back to the surface as she brings her hand back down to her lap.

Criston's eyes flutter open, glazed and bright with fever. They swim with confusion as he regards her.

"Laena?" he groans. His voice is a brittle, harsh thing. "Is this a dream?"

She smiles her kindest smile. "No, Criston. I came to visit you. I brought a letter from Rhaenyra as well."

He burrows deeper into his covers. "Rhaenyra," he rasps, "is she here?"

Laena shakes her head. "She wishes to come, I think, but she fears her presence would be unwanted."

Too late, she realizes that Criston's fever-addled mind might not be able to properly grasp the nuances of such a conversation. His eyes stray to the ceiling, unfocused and unsteady.

"How could I ever not want her here?" he says. "She has been woven into my heart for nearly fifteen years now. She is Aemma's child, and I wish, I wish–"

He breaks into a fit of coughs. Laena jumps to grab him a nearby cup of water. His coughs are terrible, hacking things that sound like they're tearing his throat. She loathes to hear them. "I loved Aemma," he continues, his voice choked with fever and grief and what might be the threat of tears. "I loved her, and I couldn't save her, and now her daughter will wed two children in a marriage horribly young. Aemon will be even younger than she was."

Laena hums softly, comfortingly. She raises the cup to his lips, supporting his back. This confirms her suspicions, then. She had had an inkling, with the book, but it had not been a sure thing. It had been made stronger given Rhaenyra's comment on the pendant. But now those suspicions are ironclad, irrefutably. It makes her heart heavy, the weight of his grief, of his pain.

"The marriage will not be consummated for many years," she says. The words, she knows, ring as a hollow comfort. Queen Aemma, may she rest in peace, should not have been bedded as young as she was either, but still she was.

Criston shakes his head. He trembles against her grip and his breathing grows more strained. When she looks at him, she can tell that the fever has taken him again, stronger than before.

"I loved her," he babbles, "and I knew what would happen to her, and I could not save her."

Laena stiffens. "You knew what would happen to her?" She had meant to be gentle with the question, but it comes out more sharply than she intended. "What do you mean?"

"I remembered it," Criston whispers. He sinks back against the bed. "From another life, I remembered it."

His eyes flutter closed.

The room is still.

For a long, terrible moment, Laena thinks that he's fallen into the arms of the Stranger. Then she hears his wheezing and her tension eases. Her mind whirls. He remembered it? What could that possibly mean? She's heard stories of the North with their rumored wargs and their greenseers, of the Rhoynar with their water magic, and of course Valyrian blood magic, but as far as she can recall, the Andals never had any specific gifts? They have always had their determination and their Seven, and that has been it.

Criston is no Valyrian. He might have some Dornish blood in his lineage somewhere down the line given Blackhaven's proximity to the Red Mountains, but if he does, it is faint. Could it be the blood of the First Men, then, that has caused him to 'remember?' The gift of some ancestor long passed?

Laena bites her lip. Part of her wants to shake him awake, to demand answers from him, but she has a heart. She lets him rest and sets Rhaenyra's letter on his bed, near his face. She will confront him about this all later, she decides. She will not be content with having no answers.

With that in mind, she leaves him be.




Eventually, Criston grows better. Rhaenyra visits him and they speak quietly amongst themselves and his fever breaks. Laena does not visit him again in his illness, but she hears of how he is making strong progress and is set to return to his duties again.

In the end, it is he who finds her first. No longer bedridden, he cuts a significantly healthier sight. There is a healthy tint to his skin again and his eyes are not wild, and he's had enough energy to put himself together at least a bit.

Laena is in the gardens when he approaches her. He's dressed in a simple white tunic with a black doublet and black breeches. He is not well enough yet to resume his duties, and so he dons no armor. As he regards her, however, with an expression blanker than she has ever seen from him before, she thinks he has brought his own armor regardless.

"My lady," he says, "might we speak?"

She gestures to the free spot on the bench. "Of course, Ser."

He settles beside her stiffly, his entire body taut with tension. The veins in his neck stand out starkly against his skin. His fists are clenched tightly in his lap.

Laena tuts. "I thought we'd had this discussion about clenched fists before, Ser."

It is a jape, meant to alleviate at least a bit of tension. He does not laugh.

"When I was ill," he says instead, "I dreamed that you came to visit me. I said things I should not have. When I woke up, I was relieved. That is, until I turned and saw Rhaenyra's letter to me. The one you left behind with you.

Laena tilts her head. "Men say many things beneath the duress of fever," she points out, "that does not mean they are true."

A beat of silence passes.

Then, tensely, Criston asks, "And if they were true? Everything I said, I mean."

She looks up at the sky, at the floating clouds. "Then I would say I was unsurprised by some things and shocked by others. I would tell you that your secret is safe with me, and that I am sorry for your loss, but that I would ask how such a feat of memory is possible."

He blows out a harsh breath. Silence falls over them and for a long minute, Laena does not think he will answer her. Then, haltingly, he says, "Many years ago, someone in my line married a woman from the North. Why she decided to move South, I do not know; the reasons have been lost to time. She had the blood of the First Men in her.

"I am not sure if you've heard of the legends of the greenseers, but I suspect that might have had a part to play in whatever visions I had. The day I won at King Viserys' tourney and crowned Rhaenyra with the victor's laurels, I recalled a life that was both my own and not my own. I… saw things that would come to pass. One of those things was– was Aemma dying."

Laena sits very still. Lets the information wash over her. There are many things she could say at this moment, but she struggles to settle on the right one. She reaches to grip his arm. She handles it, for all it is corded with muscle and deadly force, like glass as she curls her fingers around his bicep.

"Criston," she says, "look at me." His eyes shift to meet hers. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me."

His smile is thin and tinged with bitterness. "It's hardly as if I had the choice, after I opened my big mouth in the first place."

She squeezes his arm lightly. "It was not your fault, you were consumed by a fever. Will you tell me more?"

He shakes his head, which does not surprise her but disappoints her nevertheless. "No, I have spoken enough for the day."

He gets that look on his face, that furrow of his brow that Rhaenyra also dons so often. It tells Laena that she will get nothing more out of him today. She pulls back, letting her hand drop to her side.

"Very well," she says.

He rocks from side to side with nervous energy. Then he moves to stand.

"If you'll excuse me, Laena," he says, "I should be going."

The tone of his voice betrays the gentle demand cloaked in the request. In another situation, Laena might have been offended by it. Here, she lets it pass with no complaint.

"Of course," she says, nodding. "I wish you a good day, Criston."

He turns to walk away. As he grows more and more distant, the set of his shoulders rigid and his gait tense, she adds, "I hope that sometime you will entrust me with more to know."

He pauses in his walking. Turning halfway around, he says, tightly, "Mayhaps, Laena."

She smiles, feeling distinctly as if she's won something.
 
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