A Certain Old Operation: Knight Insertion e.g. Jaune Arc [RWBY]

[Kolper]

Prologue​

Hello there, reader. I know, I know, this is an obnoxious way to start writing, but I'm really out of ideas and not that good besides. I do feel though that I have a story to tell, a story that wants to come out whether I want it to or not and I'm really tired of rambling about it in a lonely pub on a lonely night.

Because you see, here I am, at almost eight o'clock, in my room on my computer and yet, this is really not my anything. Or rather, not completely. I know, it's confusing. Or maybe not, from what I see you have a bunch of stories like mine here, be they true or not. But originality is not my goal here. I don't have a goal, really.

I'm getting off track. See, my writing skills really aren't good enough for the story I'm about to tell, but by now it's not about what I want anymore. It's about him. The other me. That guy. The one that I briefly was, or that I think I briefly was. The guy whose name rhymes with Linkin Park. That clumsy, clumsy fool.

Jaune Arc.

I'm going to assume you don't know him, even if I'm sure many of you do. You may skip this part if you wish, but remember: that means you won't know what I wrote while other people will. Just saying.

Anyway, let's get back to Jaune Arc. He's a tall guy, blonde blue eyes, classic aryan male that would make a german guy in the '40ies proud. Physically I mean. I don't want to be minsconstrued here. The dude was actually kind of empty headed and generally peaceful. If you exlude the whole will to genocide all the black creatures. But these black creatures were actually evil personified so it's actually kinda pro-peace to destroy them all. If you look at it in a certain way.
But yeah, he comes from a long dinasty of warriors, called Huntsmen, and naturally desires to be one himself. The problem is, he sucks. So he tries to fake it, and succeed by being admitted into a good school for Huntsman, Beacon Academy, though that obviously doesn't grant him the skill to go along with it.

That's the gist of it. The show is called RWBY, you'll find it on youtube if you feel like watching a low budget cartoon with almost enough passion in it to make it really good. Or maybe you'll be so stunned by this story that you'll end up watching RWBY because of it. Or in spite of it, after washing your eyes with better stories.

Back to me and why I'm typing this. A few weeks ago, I woke up in a hospital bed, being told that I slept for seven days. No accidents, no physical injuries. I wasn't even tired the night before falling asleep. But that's not the weird part. Because in the space of seven days I woke up thousands of times. Just, not in my body. I'm sure you've guessed it by now, no point in describing Jaune Arc if I was going to end up in Ruby Rose.

Yes, until my death I was Jaune Arc. And I did indeed die, no question about it. Because when the crimson spear pierced my chest, my spirit died and gasped into a new body. My old one. The one Jaune Arc didn't know once, but he does now.

Oh yes, Jaune is here. And he says hi. Not that it matters, we are one.

Heh, anyway, I'll write my story as I remember it and I hope my memory will hold. I'll try to write it from the perspective of the me back then as he grows otherwise I feel it'd get boring fast. Truthfully I don't doubt my memories of my time as Jaune that much.

Those are quite vivid in my mind.

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[Kolper]

Chapter One Point One
or
My life as a SI is wrong, as I expected
​

There are many things you expect when you wake up in another body. Actually, that is a lie and anyone who seems to have an idea of what is going on is a liar with the proverbial pants on fire.

I do believe there are two main reasons why, at least in fiction, souls or whatever stand for them are inserted in another body. The first is a metal: a pure and smooth handwavium, with the level of purity depending on the flavor of the story. The second gives the name of god or gods, depending on the taste of the self insertee, to the handwavium.

I wasn't thinking about that when I woke up. Indeed, I had no idea it wasn't my body really, until it started moving without my input. And that is scary. It's an eerie feeling, a reverse pins and needles over your entire body. I felt numb and numbed, but I was still moving. How, I screamed. But no sound came from my throat, not a whisper and not a roar.

There was also a feeling of disconnect with the routine my body was going through. It went directly to the shower, and I never do that, as first I have breakfast. Then the body dressed itself (I noticed it was humming), and that's when I saw, in the mirror, a face looking back at me. It wasn't mine, and I would know, I just turned 21 with a completely different one. I grimaced, and the face did that too, only to adopt a look of confusion the next moment.

So, I'm not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed and I'd like to be forgiven for this, but I still didn't realize what the hell was going on. I didn't think "Oh, this is a SI, of course, that's Jaune Arc duh!" or cursed the gods for the thing that I totally obviously never ever would have ever wanted on my own. My thoughts more closely resembled a flat line that you may see on a heart monitor in a hospital, or the earth in a Flat-Earther deluded, deluded mind.

I didn't notice I was Jaune Arc, because he looked real. The skin was a good caucasian white, not shining white, and his blonde hair were actual, high school jock blonde, like his physique. For how much the guy moaned about sucking at fighting he definitely could have kicked my skinny ass anyday anytime.

As he reached a bigger area in the house, which I later learned was a living room/place to eat when there's too many people, he was greeted by a solitary feminine figure, seated at a ten seats table. She possessed lighter blonde hair, held back in a ponytail, and around her hung an air of tiredness. Her eyes were the same that I saw in the mirror, but her nose was slightly sharper. Around her neck, unutilized, lay a pair of glasses in red frame linked on the extremes by a small metallic chain. They were obviously reading glasses and the newspaper in front of her supported that theory, though why she wasn't using them is still, to this day, beyond me.

"Good morning Jaune, everything alright?" Jaune? That is probably when I started to put things together.

"Nnnnn- Yes. Yes, I just feel like I woke up with wrong feet - I mean, the wrong foot." He laughed nervously. Can you blame me?

"Well anyway, here's breakfast, or what remains of it." The woman mumbled motioning with her arms to the remaining slice of bread and the almost empty jar of red jam. "Eat something, you're a big boy." Then she pointed to the other end of the table. "Oh, and there are also cookies in that jar over there, though I know you don't like them that much."

That's where we disagreed. Cookies are never, ever bad. You can take away my body, but don't you dare touch the cookies damn it. Shut up, you cookie maniac.
I guess that's when I snapped.

"Gimme the cookie jar." I said that. I have to admit my delivery was flat though, because I could immediately see the woman eyebrows start to crease up in worry. She got up.

"Jaune, are you sure you're okay?" She approached me as you would approach a hurt baby deer the day after you've watched Bambi. It was enough to briefly snap me from the immense concentration required to speak.

"What? I'm fine, mom, I'm fine! Don't worry -" Jaune started speaking, panicked. I interrupted him, recovered. "Just gimme the cookie jar." My apparent mom was obviously bewildered but damn it, if my wish for cookies was the only thing that allowed me to speak then goddamn it if I don't walk away with the cookie jar in my own stupid hands.

She silently walked to the object of my desire, took it and brought it to me. I think I said something to reassure her, but there was too much confusion in my head to understand the details of what was going on. In the end though, I know that I ended up bolting toward my room.

I vaguely remember bumping into a person, getting a shrill "I hate you Jaune!" in thanks, reaching my room and then closing the door, sliding down it as if it was a poorly written romance movie and I just had a conversation with my crush.

"Wha-what's going on today...?" Jaune muttered. "Ugh, I know I shouldn't have eaten those - wait, what did I eat yesterday again?" Jaune was a very absent minded person, if you recall. Scratch his head and all that.

We had a conversation then, which I'm unsure how to frame exactly without making it seem as if we were crazy then, because it was literally Jaune talking to himself. It started somewhat like this.

"H-hello?" I tried. He literally jumped, somehow locking the door and jumping under the cover of his bed in one fluid movement.

"Oh, oh noes, I'm hearing voices, I'm- I'm hearing voices, this is third grade all over again..."

"Third grade? W-wait, that's not important, what's up with this stupid reaction huh!? Where did you get it from, some shitty B-Rate movie? I'm the one who's freaked out here, grow up a little!"

"Oh, oh noes, the voice inside my head is dad. Oh this is my worst nightmare, please wake up please wake up please wake up-"

"Okay, I understand you're freaked out too. I get it, it makes sense, rationally. But I'm here and I'm real, so deal with it." To be honest, I'm not usually this edgy. Really, I'm not. Oh, really?

"F-f-fine. Then tell me one thing I don't know. I can't know, I mean."

"Two plus two equal four."

There was a beat of silence, so I added: "And my name is Mike."

"...I don't believe in you. You're not real. Also, you're an ass if you are." I think the body started trembling here. Jaune Arc, deep down, had already accepted my existence, just not in so many words.

At this point, I had a firmer grasp on the situation whereas I could actually understand that yes, this was Jaune Arc, yes, I was actually here and I was also thanking and cursing the hands that were probably writing this story because it was nice being here, but god I suck, why couldn't it be a smoother transition jeez. At least, that's what I assumed was happening at first, though that raised questions about my existence that, like all my problems, I would have preferred to shuffle into a dark cupboard in the recesses of my mind. I couldn't this time though. It weighted very heavily on my mind and my train of thought went from the realization that I was probably writing myself to the understanding that, well, that wasn't possible!

The fact that I actually thought that invalidated my own theory! And I realized that even then, while having that nonsensical discussion with Jaune. All the other Self Insert I read never actually thought they were writing themselves, thus by this unassailable logic, I was certainly, probably, maybe really existing. That thought brought me a blanket of security, of mental health to be more correct, that I, at the time, really, really needed. But I was right, as I'm writing this right now, after the facts, safe in my house on my computer. I know it's an extraordinary statement, so I'll keep writing to, perhaps, provide the extraordinary proof such a statement requires.

"When will the override happen jeez..." I thought to myself. But I couldn't really think to myself anymore, could I?

"WHAT! Over- WHAT! Oh no no no, you can't you can't, oh I need a doctor, I need a doctor, MUM!"

"I was joking, joking! Don't call your mom! I mean, I should have overwritten your soul by now, really, but it didn't happen so tough shit, we'll probably be linked for all eternity like, like oh I don't know, mmm, oh right! Soulmates! Errr, maybe not soulmates." We are not soulmates. We really aren't. As they say here, no homo.
"What. Are. You. Talking. About!" Well, to be fair to him, that must sound like a lot of bull to anyone who's not into fanfiction really, never mind from another universe. "Oh shit, it got me to talk back and I just realized that."

Knock knock.

"Jaune? Did you call for me?"

"Oh shit, please Jaune, please hide me, don't tell her please please - "

"And why should I listen to you?"

"Jaune? Are you talking to your mum like that?"

"What? No, no, I'm just talking with -"

"I CAN HELP YOU BECOME A HUNTSMAN!"

"... myself."

And that's how me and my buddy Jaune became friends for life. A lie, really. I had no idea how to help him become a huntsman, but who cares, I'm sure I can bullshit my way through it with some vague RWBY knowledge, right? I should have started to hate you so long ago.
​

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[Kolper]

Chapter One Point Two
or
Love Your Family
​

'I'm pretty sure it has something to do with 'immortality', 'soul' and 'passing'. I'm super positive you have to use those words in the chant. But I mean, I'm pretty sure you don't need them really, they probably just help you focus. They're just words, and those usually don't come with magic power as far as I know.'

"So, what now?"

'Meditate. Unlock your chakra, unleash your spirit from its mortal cage, search for the tingling, lose yourself and bloom into a new person.'

"I've been meditating for the past three hours."

'Just... meditate harder.'Thanks!

"..."

"..."

"...I don't think this is working."

To be fair, it totally wasn't. But it's not like I could remember the aura awakening chant, and my warrior instincts were swapped since birth with my keyboard and language skills. I had no idea how to kung-fu, karate, judo or even how to touch a sword without offending it. So the only thing that I thought might work was just, you know, sitting down, searching for the flow of power, meditating to unlock deeper wells of energy or something.

And as Jaune pointed out, it really wasn't working. On the other hand though, Jaune's mom, who was called Candice, was getting more and more suspicious about him. So it really wasn't on the other hand, but more like another negative. A week had already passed since my soul crash landed into Jaune's body, and I'm really, really waiting for the day I assume control of my new flesh for at least short periods of time, living like this gets tiresome. For both of us.

It was just the little things. Jaune wanted something, I didn't, and the body just started freaking out, an arm reaching and halting, then coming back before reaching again, more hesitant than a cat near water. That until one of us just gave up. The cookie jar I now brought everywhere was a kind of silent protest to the powers that be. Seriously, at least let me struggle against canon relevant foes, not this.

If I could, I would take up smoking, even if I never really smoked before. If I ever can do things on my own, that's the first thing I'll do.

At that moment, we were in the vast, green garden of the Arc residence, a place that was plenty big, but not too plenty. The house couldn't be called a mansion, but it was a proper house, big enough to hold seven children with a degree of comfort. It was a pretty isolated place, with high walls to protect us from the Grimm. We lived in an elevated place like most of the Kingdom of Atlas (and wasn't that a surprise), so Grimm, especially due to the cold and the defensive technology provided to us, were not as much of a problem as I would have expected. It honestly felt like as long as we were comfortably happy, they'd never touch us, which was an interesting incentive to say fuck depression and live your dreams.

As I was thinking this, Jaune huffed and got up. I guess he was tired of sitting around failing to fall asleep.

'Whoa whoa, wait a sec champ. Take the cookie jar.'

"Come on, can't we just leave it here?" His hands were already moving, I was moving them.

'Nope.'

"Mom already thinks I'm weird, is this really necessary?"

'It's not.' I agreed. 'We're still taking this everywhere.'

"Come on! You're so unreasonable. Fine, I'll take your stupid jar." He still believed he had control of his body at this point. He always was described as a bit dense, I suppose. Fuck off. Seriously, you suck.
We went back inside. The first person to greet me, in the living room, was Jaune's dad. I think his name was Nicholas, but I may be wrong. There really isn't much to describe about him, he was a carbon copy of Jaune, just older with a light beard and a harsher frown on his face. He wasn't usually home, but when he was things between him and Jaune were always tense. This time, it wasn't different at all.

"Jaune."

"Dad." They greeted each other as you do someone you care about after having a fight with them. Jaune was directed toward his room, I don't know why. Before he could reach the stairs though, he was stopped.

"Wait, Jaune. I have a bit of time. I want to talk with you." This was the first time since I was here that something like this happened. I would have gotten popcorn, but I didn't have a body at the moment. That's what the part of me that still didn't really believe in this whole self-insert situation thought. In truth, I was cringing. It's difficult to like these situations, I suppose.

"...Fine." Jaune stopped, turning around to find his place on one of the chairs near his father and putting down the cookie jar on the table.

"I heard you're... meditating in the garden? What's that about?" His eyes gazed briefly at the cookie jar, before just as briefly dismissing it.

"I know about aura, dad." The man winced visibly. Then his face grew quickly furious.
"How? Who- who was the one who told you? Was it your mother? I bet it was her, it'd be just like her to do that to me after I specifically told her not to tell you anything-"

"No! You got it all wrong! I just found out on my own!" Jaune interrupted heatedly. "What, can't I do that either? Should I stop reading books, watching tv and using my scroll too? Maybe I should just lock myself in my room and never come out huh, is that what you want?"

Being a spectator to these arguments between family is always bothersome. Should I stop them, am I allowed to? Also, they're really bringing the mood down, a bit of respect for the disembodied soul would be nice. While it didn't feel like I should do anything I also didn't want to do nothing. In my indecision my arm moved on its own and grabbed a cookie.

"That's not what this is about and you know it, Jaune."

"Then what's it's about!? I can't unders-BMMFFFP" Eat the cookie Jaune. Crunch it and get that sugary sweetness in you. The man looked at Jaune (not at me, ha!) as if he was insane. I suppose we would qualify as mad by most professional definitions.

"...Jaune? Are you alright?" The man looked concerned. Jaune started choking. "Jaune? Jaune!" He rushed to his son, grabbed him in a picture perfect Heimlich Maneuver and pushed. The cookie flew from Jaune's mouth instantly, splattering on the table.

"Are you okay? You are, right?"

"I- I'm fine."

"Of course you are, of course you are. But you see Jaune, that's why you can't be an huntsman. You're too-too clumsy. I'm afraid of what would happen to you if you'd go out there to fight Grimm. I'm doing this for you, I just hope you know that. I'd be so worried for you, I can't stand the thought." Personally, I felt a bit of guilt for this. It kinda felt like I just sneaked into the enemy camp to give them my gun. Arguments are serious things.

"...Activate my aura." Jaune was focused on other things at this point though, thankfully.
"What?"

"You heard me. Activate my aura. That way, I won't be helpless anymore."

"...You know I can't do that."

"I'm begging you, please. I've never asked you for anything, just- this one thing, please dad, help me achieve my dream." Jaune turned watery eyes on his dad. This was his one request, the one thing he was willing to give up his pride for and just beg.

But his dad averted his gaze.

"I'm sorry, Jaune."

That was the day Jaune decided to take drastic action. To reach Beacon at all costs. He'd forge his papers. He'd figure things out later. Beacon started in three months, and he'd be there, no matter what. That's what Jaune believed with his whole heart, though unclearly.

I decided to help him.
​

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