You're all fools. Seram should instead leverage his formidable skills as a Computer Repair Technician. Is there some way we can perform an SQL injection on the orc databases? Surely the failure of their sophisticated communication network will cause unparalleled dismay among the greenskin scum.
Or put points into his STR/CON and suddenly his shirt doesn't fit. Pecs? Biceps? Seram hasn't needed to undo the top button of his shirt to take it off in
years.
SEND US TO AN 80'S FUTURISTIC CYBERPUNK INITIAL D WORLD WHERE ABSOLUTELY NONE OF SERAM'S POWERS ARE RELEVANT and all that matters is his superiority on the road in drift racing or something
And where the Romus expy rival can witness Seram's incredibly skilled driving and go, "MULTI-TRACK DRIFTING?! IMPOSSIBRU"
I just want to see someone regret the future not having seatbelts when Seram takes their car from 200 to 20 in less than a second.
it's been a long day
without you, my friend
and i'll tell you all about it when i see you again
~~~
LIVING LIFE A QUARTER MILE AT A TIME
1810 words
~~~
On Vastun, there is only racing.
Racing in the daylight. Racing at night. Racing in the skyways of the hovertrains, or the tunnels of the undercity. Here in Neo-Mega-CyTokyo, descendants of the mountain-men and drift-kings of old race neck and neck, a hunger for the swerve and the need for speed pounding in their very bloodstream.
In the corporate prix, advances in G-Diffusion systems and suspensor frames have made a safe spectacle of the once honourable sport. But in the tunnels and ultracrete parks of the hives, purists of the art drive without regard, eschewing all but the barest of safety technologies in the pursuit of almighty velocity. Every ten years, thousands of night-racers court high-speed termination to see who will be crowned…
SPEED KING.
~~~
Romus bristled. The stranger, after paying his entrance fee to a disquieted bookmaker, was leaning on his gross mockery of a vehicle. Yes, the rules allowed for such a monstrosity (speed, after all, could come from the darkest corners of corporacratic science), but it was an affront to his sensibility.
The stranger was driving a
minivan. Not a hovervan, not a retrofitted cybertank, not even a boosted cargo trawler. A four-tired, silver,
soccer mom automobile.
Romus' dislike of him, some instant instinct forged the moment he noticed the name on the charter, had only gained further evidence in support. Seram Law.
Seram.
Law.
Romus shuddered. On his honour as Romus Axle Wagonborne, he would show this impetuous limpet upstart the true meaning of racing. The only measure of a man worth taking…
Was his
laptime.
~~~
By the time Romus had turned into his starting position, the stranger was already out of mind. In the cybertarmac, there was no room for thought, only the swift, discerning instinct of the racer and his machine. And Romus' hovering aeroscaper, the
Grey Wolf, was the finest machine here. Molded in the shape of a broadhead arrow, hand-tuned with adjustable friction manifold generators and the latest Toyota Hyperion sixty-pylon engine, it was a lean, mean, speed machine.
Two rows away, he heard the puttering protests of the stranger Law's minivan as the six-cylinder diesel engine coughed to life. Looking in the mirror, Law was jerking at an arrested seatbelt, before calming down and pulling it smoothly into place.
Romus felt the gorge of acid-like pain that marked the beginning of a stress ulcer.
And then, beside the
Grey Wolf, a sleek dark racer drifted into place. Its paint was like a midnight pool, lit by red neon strips that adorned it from headlight to bumper. Three hover nacelles purred smoothly, radiating only the barest of waste photons as they lifted what had to be
at least four tonnes of vehicle without a single shiver.
The
Black Thunder. Thought to have exited the circuit years ago in a tragic multi-car pileup that killed its driver, the eminent Twitch Jumpstar, its reemergence and subsequent victories at Ionline and the Copper Cable was the talk of the network. Rumours of the pilot's identity abounded, some saying a stranger had taken his name, while others thought the Jumpstar had been resurrected through corp-tech nanosorcery.
Romus had once admired
Black Thunder, but such things of childhood he had put away long ago. He tried to peer through the tinted glass, but saw only the shadow of a shock-helm. Well, Twitch Jumpstar or not, nobody would defeat Romus this day.
"Yo, yo, yo, what up!" The internal radios blared with the voice of the MC.
"Welcome one and all to the race, the one and only VELOCITY CUP! Of these thirty finalists, culled down from a thousand competitors, will emerge ONE. SPEED. KING."
Even here in the racechannel, the roar of the masses reached Romus' ears.
"Seven zones lie between the start and the end. Seven zones of hazardous environments, where there are no rules! Except no bumping, pushing, or jacking. Now ARE YOU READY?"
The crowd cheered, a sonic barrage of force.
"IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE READY! RACERS, MARK!"
Romus throttled the plasmaclutch. The lights flashed ahead, red, yellow, green!
"GO!!!!!"
~~~
It was only after a series of tight helix turns corkscrewing down an abandoned silo, that Romus noticed the headlights of the suburban hatchback. Somehow, the stranger was keeping up, his four-wheel minivan drifting with the rest of the treaded scalers and hoverjets at hundreds of kilometres per hour. The other racers seemed just as perplexed, multi-tonne behemoths trying not to run over the automobile beneath their suspensorfields.
The minivan's acceleration wasn't anything special. But whatever it had under the hood seemed to be capable of outputting without limit, and the minivan's cruising speed seemed to match the hypertech jetstreamers without catastrophic stress—
The minivan flicked on a turn signal, just as the helix devolved into a downhill slope. With a fluid, slalom-like motion, it weaved between the leading racers, a tiny white brick among neon steel behemoths and halogen shrouds.
At the end of the slope was a sharp turn that opened into the zone drop. Romus dropped friction as his pulse engine fired, flinging him into a long curving drift along the ceiling of the tunnel. As the arc of his turn completed, he saw the minivan slide into a reverse drift, Law waving just as it drove off the edge.
~~~
In the vertical drop into Lavazone, Romus, along with many other racers, kept an eye on the ludicrous minivan. It seemed to have no method of aerial maneuvering, spinning in freefall until aerodynamics had forced it into a downward position. The rear wheels began to spin, blurring as the ground approached.
An errant thermal nudged it to the bunker face. Its wheels made contact. The minivan surged downward in a sudden burst of traction, low-riding the curve into horizontal track with sparks flinging from the undercarriage before its suspension bounced it across the first smelting pit, landing on the rim of the second and driving around.
The
Grey Wolf plunged into molten iron, before bursting free and skimming across its surface. Romus increased power to the cryojets, and pedaled the accelerator. It was a risky move, but he had confidence his coolant would hold out. The plebeian racers, likely specialized for the other zones, could only take solid ground.
Wait, was the
Black Thunder following him? Fool! Romus had worked for months on the thermal engineering. No matter how powerful the
Black Thunder's retrofitted hover engine was, its thermal cross-section couldn't withstand this proximity.
But, as Romus watched, it followed him unerringly. Impossible. How was he doing this?
And why was the
fucking minivan still ahead?
~~~
They burst into Desertzone, towering dunes of slag runoff powdered into fine iron sand over years of mismanaged recycling. Romus closed off the intake valves, converting entirely to impulse motivation. The parade of racers that survived the heat of Lavazone rocketed ahead, but they would pay for it with the erosion of the internals.
"Wuh-oh! Looks like a wind's picking up!"
Romus gritted his teeth, as a sudden buffet of industrial airflow threw the
Grey Wolf from the bridge track into a grey bluff of flux derivatives, tumbling him across the steel desert. Precious seconds were lost as he overturned the vehicle, cutting through the sands to reach the next zone directly. As the wind picked up, a storm of metal dust churned up, drowning his sensors. He could only trust in his instincts, and—
Next to him, the minivan was trundling through with the alacrity of a four-wheel drive, its windscreen wipers going at full speed. The driver, noticing Romus' gaze, saluted him.
Romus hated him so much.
~~~
Junglezone. A hundred thousand square kilometres of arcology infrastructure, cultivating lost bioweapons long since obsolete. As Romus traversed the uneven loam and artificial tropics, he saw the wrecks and corpses of failed drivers who had underestimated the hardiness of the creatures here. But Romus would not be one of them.
Above him, the rectangular shadow of a minivan blotted the sky as it traveled the branches. Romus ignored it.
~~~
"Welcome to the Wastelands, racers! Watch out for the deathbots; even if they got thrown away, they still pack a mean punch!"
Romus fumed, hammering the brake and pivoting on a node of friction to smash a cyberbot with the engines of
Grey Wolf, spinning out as an avalanche of discarded cybergarbage tumbled around him.
Black Thunder raced ahead, a tide of warmachines trailing the racer on the horizon. He soared past Romus, a streak of dark glass and red light. He seemed untouchable, something that didn't fit within the confines of Romus' rear-view mirror.
Speaking of, the goddamn minivan was still here, somehow. And was honking at him to either speed up or get out of the inside lane.
An errant military drone crashed into the minivan, turning it askew. It almost crashed, but quick countersteering turned it into an inertial drift, letting it glide into the corner. As the
Grey Wolf, massing several tonnes more, was forced by centripetal force to the outer barrier of the corner, the minivan drifted in front of him, hugging the inner lane and jetting off ahead.
God, Romus hated him
so much.
~~~
It was here. The final stretch. Lightstar Bridge, a hardlight track used for optical transmissions. There were only three racers now, all the rest having broken long before.
Romus, and his
Grey Wolf.
The
Black Thunder, its driver unknown.
And the fucking minivan, still going strong. Romus flipped it off on principle.
It all came down to this. Romus thumbed the hydro, superdense fuel catalysts plunging into his engine. The
Black Thunder zoomed faster, a crimson streak of light. And the minivan was…
Why was he putting on more seatbelts.
Romus felt the stop before the speedometer needle crashed, flinging him into the front of the cockpit. The
Black Thunder spun out, sputtering and tilting dangerously as it approached the edge—
And fell over. Down into the abyss of the computronium core, desperate flares of jets and suspensor fields failing to catch. Romus spared one eye to watch the dwindling light, the death of a legend forever seared into his memory.
And the other eye watched the fucking minivan cross the checkered line.
~~~
Later, no matter how far Romus searched, there was no sign of the man named Seram Law, nor the minivan that had upset the entire underworld of Vastun. Unsatisfied, he nevertheless took the silver medallion, and went home.
Days later, a silver minivan Toyota Nova was on sale. Boasting 'only minor wear and tear,' it was on sale for only three thousand Neo-yen. When it was towed to Romus' hab-block, he found nothing but a completely normal minivan.
~~~
Seram yawned. Man, that was hard work, but he managed it. Shame about the driver, but how could a hovercar be the hero of the world, anyway?
Whatever.
~~~
AN: OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ