but to offer a slight counterpoint, this Shirou is explicitly a Shirou that failed to trust Saber and didn't give back Avalon the night before the final battle
I mean, to an extent I agree, but Shirou realized his mistake the moment he drowned in the Grails Mud, and was separated from everyone he loves and cares about, Arturia, Taiga, Issei, Rin, Illya, Sakura, even Ayako and the people he worked for at that bar part-time.
Shirou.... he's aware he failed her, he just does his usual thing of shoving everything that bothers him down into the depths of his mind. Including excruciating guilt over not doing right by the one he loves.
So when Shirou started getting beat up by those Shadows, he was saying in his mind "I'm about to fail again, I'm about to let it happen once more".
I can only see Shirou- at this point, knowing the mistakes he's made, doing his best to live properly now, to make up for it. He has too.
To me, it makes more sense for him to begin striving for a more pure and noble route, following in his King's footsteps. But as we go along the story, and sees the corruption and the evils that these ordinary people harbor within them, along with his own dark impulses, and struggle against it in the meantime. Only coming to terms with the fact that they are a part of him too. To realize he's just as human as everyone else is.
Anyways, yapping over for now
![:V :V :V](/styles/sv_smiles/xenforo/emot-v.gif)