Angry Imperialist Spreadsheet Hell: Let's Play Rule The Waves 3

So, looking at my fleet in 1900, you may notice something: the ships are getting older and slower! I look into refitting my older ships (including giving them spacious accommodations), only to discover something else: the guns are too old to be upgraded on many of them! This will have an impact on my battleships, long-run, but for now, I tinker with some refits, let events play out for a bit... all the while noticing that tensions are, shall we say, high. Still, I defend my budget, and continue to make plans... up until the Navy League wants me to give a speech, despite my bad reputation.

Oh boy, do I give a speech. Look, German imperialism was bad! It's 1900, not long before the IRL Herero & Namaqua genocide! Yes, so was British imperialism, but maybe I can reform it from the inside! And you don't want the game to end after just 10 years of gameplay, do you?

Naturally, this leads to war. And in the early days of the war, it ain't going so hot. (To be honest, my favorite part of the game is the ship designing and budget management; actual battles, less so. It's clunky (which is realistic!) and complicated (which is realistic!) and not so fun (which is realistic!). I usually play battles on 'Admiral' mode, leaving myself in direct control of just one division, as a result; this makes battles even more chaotic, I suspect).

In the first month, I get a protected cruiser torpedoed, then get into a messy night battle. Very messy. I lose an armored cruiser and get my battleships shot up bad in a battle off Texel. I decide that my ships are losing in part due to poor performance at night, so I break an unwritten rule I'd planned on, and begin special training in night fighting. It'll take a year to take effect

By spring, things have gone from bad to somewhat worse, as Austria-Hungary sides with Germany, meaning my Mediterranean squadron is in trouble, to put it mildly. Half the German fleet kinda wanders around Africa, fending off an initial plan to invade German--held Southwest Africa (see the wikipedia link above for why) -- they may have smaller ships, but they have a good deal more battleships than I do, and numbers kinda matter. I attempt to reinforce the Med (and blockade Austria a bit), while we sorta clumsily attempt to blockade each other.

In the meantime, after a bombardment mission along the North Sea coast goes smoothly, a cruiser duel with the Austrians is indecisive, the US enters the war on our side for some reason, a battle off the English coast goes... less smooth, and another off Texel leads to a German battleship being sunk, I feel like I have some breathing room, and start planning a new battleship, and a new armored cruiser (and a smaller, cheaper one). The US Navy isn't really coordinating with me, but hey, maybe we can pull things off. I also take advantage of ships getting damaged to refit them during their repairs.

I shift my invasion target -- German-held Papua. I spare a couple cruisers, who race down to the South Pacific, only to encounter a German battleship. Still, it's not a very good battleship, and I manage to hold it off long enough for the transports to get to shore. Apparently impressed(?), Italy joins the war on my side as well. The war feels somewhat back-and-forth, but still could go either way...

In 1903, off the coast of Ireland, a massive fleet battle develops. Once again, it is a messy affair -- for both of us -- and lasts into the evening... but this time, the RN emerges victorious. Yay? One last bit of nonsense, even as I renew my plans to liberate the Herero and Namaqua, and then the Austrians seek terms, immediately followed by Germany. Surely, the British government won't repress the peoples of Namibia, right? Right? At the end of the war, here's where things stand.

After the war, and an initial budget crunch, a lot of new technologies start to be developed. I lay down a ship design that will begin a whole new era of naval warfare! (Using forward, aft, and wing turrets only. Three centerline turrets doesn't show up til later). (Also, with 12" guns, as mine are now at -1 quality, so they can get refitted later!). It'll commission in less than 3 years, wow!

My rivals start building their own dreadnoughts, and as the pace of innovation increases rapidly, I discover first turbine engines, then oil-fired engines. Look, oil sucks... but coal is an even worse fossil fuel, and is what my fleet ran on. New objective: reduce CO2 emissions! I also develop bigger guns, and start laying down new battleship designs! Thrilling, I'm sure.

Global fleet numbers, January 1910.

My battleline:
3 Dreadnought-class BBs (seen above)
2 Redwood-class BBs building (oil-fired version of the Oak class I'd initially planned; picture taken from a bit later).
1 Vanguard-class BB building (picture taken from a bit later)
1 Flexible-class BC, 1 building
3 refitted Wat Tyler-class B, 3 unrefitted
1 refitted Illustrious-class B, 4 unrefitted

Selected events:
I remain left(ish).
I support the spread of technology.
I am open to new viewpoints.
I am not a colonialist.
I support diplomacy.

I start the decade with a bit of espionage, which perhaps led to blowback? (Still, I support international law). Tensions with Russia rapidly worsen, leading to this ultimatum from them. Well, Tsarism bad, too, and honesty is ethical, so I advise the government to reject the ultimatum, and so... war!

Also blimps. Way more important.

The war is pretty short -- a few desultory battles here and there, including one at sea, which partly involved two hulks shelling each other for a little while at 0 knots. Italy doesn't seem interested in joining the party, which is fine, really! Especially because it ends not long after.

As we move into the dreadnought era, I bring into service the first of what I hope to be many 14"-gunned battleships... but I'm feeling an intense budgetary crunch, though I do find time for some aviation infrastructure. Apparently, I'm not the only one concerned by the arms race, and after running the numbers, I decide to accept the proposed naval arms limitation treaty! I do lose a battlecruiser and a battleship that were both under construction, but it's not too bad -- look at Germany, for instance!

Aviation steadily improves, and suddenly people are talking about putting planes on boats. This is cool -- way cooler than new naval guns. The government agrees that naval guns are lame, but does think sailing is cool.

After tragic defeats, at last a victory for anti-colonialist forces! (That I had no opportunity to support, alas).

As the decade wears on, I manage to keep the naval arms limitation treaty going, though later only by pushing up the tonnage limits. Here are the fleets at decade's end.

My battleline:
3 refitted Dreadnought-class dreadnoughts
2 Redwood-class dreadnoughts
1 Vanguard-class dreadnought
1 Palm-class treaty dreadnought
1 Triumph-class treaty dreadnought under construction
2 Flexible-class battlecruisers
1 Indomitable-class battlecruiser under construction...
and 1 Lancaster-class converted light aircraft carrier!

The next few decades are a period of peace and occasional prosperity! This may not be as exciting to write about, but I'm sure the inhabitants of this world are happier. (At least some of them, anyway).

Still, you're here for ships. So let's start with my newest ship, the battleship Triumph, designed per the terms of the treaty. She's fast for this period! Faster even than my battlecruisers! Which gets me thinking about what to do with them.

The Flexible-class hulls aren't designed to manage speeds greater than 26 knots, and the ships themselves only reach 24 knots in battlecruiser form. Fast in the 1910s, not as much by the '20s. I decide to convert them to carriers... specifically, light carriers, due to their smallish size (15,900 tons). They retain their armored belts, but trade in their 12" guns for a flight deck and an airgroup of 26 planes. These are 1920s planes, not the most effective birds in the sky yet, but I'm still pretty happy with them. To replace them in the battlecruiser role, I have a pair of Indomitable-class ships mentioned in the last update, entering service in 1921 and 1923; to further my development of aviation, I convert the Persistence, an 18,000-ton large armored cruiser, into a proper carrier in 1924 [picture is from 1940], considered by the game to be worth rating as a CV rather than a CVL.

In the meantime, my cruiser fleet is steadily aging, and shedding speed -- and worse, their hulls are only able to take so much speed. I've been replacing them with the Andromeda-class, and replacing my aging light cruisers with newer Intrepid and Cordelia class cruisers, but even these are showing their age as the decade wears on, and while I initially go with refitting them, it's expensive! So I plan new classes, with the King Arthur-class laid down at the end of the decade.

You might have noticed some interesting little things: guns marked as 'DP' (dual purpose), or AA guns. Aviation is in full swing, if in interesting ways at times. I invest heavily into it, building ten airship bases and a lot of airports/airbases, instituting 'elite pilot training', and regularly developing new aircraft. I also help spread aviation technology, even to less democratic states (aviation safety matters!), and by the 1930s, I start getting opportunities to support the domestic air industry's occasional efforts to participate in air racing, leading to a British air racing win by the end of the 1930s!

Not everything exciting is up in the air, though. Russia, among other countries, tries to colonize parts of the world; I send ultimatums each time, some of which are listened to. Not too long after this particular ultimatum, Russia goes Communist; I wish them luck in their quest to bring socialism to the world. American imperialism suffers a blow! The naval arms limitation treaty is subject to plenty of debate, but I keep it going, occasionally negotiating increases in the tonnage limit. Diplomatic relations with Austria-Hungary in particular sour around the late 1920s, and I send Triumph as part of a squadron to reinforce the Mediterranean.

Then she blows up. Here's the thing: battleships did blow up outside of combat from time to time. Sometimes, this was due to hostile action, but many cases aren't clear-cut, and frankly, it's more ethical to properly investigate a ship's loss than to use it to spark a war. So while I could've taken the opportunity to go to war in 1929, I chose not to. And indeed, when Austria-Hungary conducts diplomacy, I respect the Prime Minister's decision to accept their offer.

At the end of 1929, the world's fleets look like this. My battleline now includes the Renown-class treaty dreadnought (at a smaller displacement to meet the treaty restrictions), as well as my first purpose-built carriers.

The treaty continues on through the 1930s, thanks in part to my best efforts to keep it in place. Consequently, budgets tighten, and I find myself making decisions to preserve my naval budget. Not always, though -- I still decide that it's immoral to not pay restitution for loss of life, even if the deaths occurred due to violating a restricted area. By the mid-1930s, the heart of my battleline is aging fast, and is getting slower... so it starts going to the scrappers' torch, to be replaced by a new class of battleships (named after British trade unionists). My battlecruisers are reclassed as battleships after a refit, and I still refit my oldest dreadnoughts (as well as my sole 14"-gunned battleship, and my first treaty battleship). I also develop a second class of purpose-built fleet carriers!

As the decade draws to a close, the world's fleets look like this. As for the aircraft my navy's flying, have a look.

Selected events:
I am a public servant!
I am immune to lobbyists!
I respect the decisions of my civilian bosses!
I decide that cheating on your wife is bad, even in this period!
I refuse to try to crush a revolution in Africa!
I try to start a few revolutions in my own territories! (Alas, it doesn't pan out)
I accept the logic of junior officers rather than get stuck in my ways!
Anti-colonialist forces finally score another win!
An important development in aviation safety!
Train good car bad!
I refuse to railroad an officer on flimsy evidence!
I said train good, car bad!
I refuse to accept that 'sailors will be sailors'!

As the 1940s begin, so too does the era of missiles and rockets, far more interesting than boring old ships. But ships do make decent platforms to put them on, so. To my growing annoyance, the British government takes an increasingly hawkish tone on foreign affairs... while constantly keeping my budget cut due to the naval arms limitation treaty still being in effect. In fairness, geopolitics starts taking a darker turn, with the usual great power politics supplanted by fascism; as a result, I increasingly advocate anti-Francoist action.

There are some bright spots in foreign affairs, and even my own government follows along. (I'm not the fondest of the framing here of independence being 'granted', as if decolonization was a gift bestowed upon once-colonized peoples, rather than bitterly opposed and sabotaged by empires, but hey). Meanwhile, aviation continues to develop, occasionally giving me planes with names I find mildly amusing; I also commission my first jet carrier. Jet aircraft are significantly heavier than older propeller-driven planes, so my carrier groups start to shrink... but they're still very much worth it, even if at first they're short-ranged.

RTW 3 says sapphic rights!

At the end of 1949, here's where fleets stand. My fleet starts to include ships that feature a new weapons system, the anti-ship missile. The Fleet Air Arm flies these plane types, from both land airbases and from these carrier classes. And I finally scrap the last ships from my pre--1890 fleet.

As we move into the 1950s, technical developments continue to emerge... though with naval arms limitation treaties still keeping the great powers from building warships bigger than 20,000 tons displacement, some are less immediately relevant than others. This one will be significant, though (eventually), as will this one. Social developments emerge, too, with sailors being less willing to put up with terrible living conditions just because that's how it was always done. I decide that my old coastal artillery batteries are of lesser value in this period of guided missiles, so I begin scrapping them to cut costs.

While I try to modernize my aging fleet, I rebuild one of my dreadnoughts into a guided missile battlecruiser. I feel like I'm in a race against time, though, as the government's aggressive diplomacy angers Germany and Japan in particular. And in the fall of 1955, things start to come to a head. Spain walks out on the naval arms limitation treaty, shattering it -- and then immediately after, invades independent Ireland. The British government, rightfully, opposes this, and for the first time in over forty years, this world sees a war between great powers.

My fleet in September 1955.

The world's fleets, in September 1955.

Will my bet on aviation pan out? Will the Spanish get away with their conquest? Tune in next time to find out!

The first action of the war is a convoy raid off the Moroccan coast. It's also the very first time I've played with aircraft in RTW3, let alone missiles. The mechanics are interesting... and in this early period, anti-ship missiles are pretty dangerous. The result is a win... but a bloodier one than I would've liked.

The next major action is a convoy defense mission in the North Atlantic, and while I fend off the raid, it's another costly battle. Naval Intelligence asks a stupidly obvious question. Spain attempts to invade Malta, and while I fend the first landings off, too, it's again a bloody day, as is a battle in the Irish Sea, where I trade my missile battlecruiser and a battleship for two Spanish BBs. The war is costly, but winnable...

Until Germany enters the war. And not on my side. So does Japan, so that's fun. I lose an entire convoy in short order, but avenge them, at least... but the war still feels unwinnable, given the numbers. I lose a light cruiser on a convoy raid in the South Pacific, but I fend off another Spanish attack on my convoys, defeat the Spanish invasion of Malta for good, and even sink an IJN battlecruiser with land-based airpower during their attempt to invade Singapore. Reverse Force Z, I guess?

But I'm still losing the war, and am rapidly running out of ships -- especially escorts for my carriers. And so I get the PM to sue for peace. It's not a fun peace by any measure, but it is what it is.

Shortly after the war, the PM wants to push us right back into it. While there's good news from the Caribbean, I'm forced to decide what to do about my battleline. The treaty era is over, so I could build 58,000-ton superdreadnoughts... but they're expensive to design and build. I'd managed to design and lay down a single mid-sized fleet carrier (43,500 tons, which felt more affordable than an all-up 100+ plane supercarrier) with my wartime budget, but postwar, I increasingly can't afford new battleships -- or new designs that aren't a 'tweak' of existing designs (+/-1000 tons displacement, +/- 1 knot, +/- 1" belt armor and +/-0.5" deck armor, and no additions to main battery). So I make a difficult, possibly wrong decision, and scrap my surviving battleship.

Two years after the war, we work out how to confuse a missile. It may know where it is, but if it doesn't know where its target is, then it's useless. We also develop larger mounts for anti-ship missiles, and figure out how to move them, so you don't have to fully move the entire ship to launch. Two more years pass before we work out how to launch two surface-to-air missiles at a time, rather than just one, and a few more months pass before we realize that hey, you could put missiles on small boats, instead of torpedoes. We also realize we can make air defense missiles smaller, shorter-ranged but with less of a cost in weight, but it takes another five years before we figure out how to launch four at a time.

The PM may well have had a point about Japan, but rather than trying a unilateral ultimatum as I had in the past, I instead resort to organizing an international force to oppose their attempted colonization of Northern Korea. Decolonization continues, and Spain even leaves Ireland, as well as being kicked out of Morocco. I commission my first true fleet carrier, capable of operating heavy jet fighters and attack jets, in the fall of 1959; seven years later, having built just four fleet carriers to Germany's 3 carriers with similarly large airgroups [and more smaller carriers] and Japan's 9 full-on 100+-jet supercarriers, the war party demands we go to war. Idiots.

A year after that, we figure out how to make AA guns halfway useful again, but with my budget still keeping me limping along, I can't even start re-equipping my ships with CIWS systems (not least because the Navy Minister keeps micromanaging the fleet) before the war party again demands war. And despite my best efforts, just over half a year later, we go to war with Germany.

On the plus side, missiles aren't as guaranteed to hit now, thanks to decoys and better SAMs. On the minus side, Germany outmatches me, and possibly in part due to using aluminum superstructures to save weight and allow more topside equipment, I shed ships fast. Real fast. (Fortunately, the carrier I lost was an older one). Still, I feel like I'm in the fight still, and win a victory of my own... up until Japan enters the war.

Even then, I don't initially give up. I start getting in some blows of my own, against both my enemies, but a convoy raid mission goes badly (costing me two more older, smaller carriers). Over a year into the war, I learn part of why the enemy's doing well, and then fight a battle off Denmark... which also goes badly, real fast, with the enemy spotting me beyond my radar spotting range and sending a flurry of missiles my way. Having lost as many cruisers as I still have in service, I recognize the inevitable... but the PM doesn't.

I have one option left, the one I could've taken on January 1, 1890.

Have a look at the Royal Navy in December 1969. With my budget stabilizing finally, I'd begun developing modestly-tweaked new classes of ships, and had these ships under construction or refit. My submarine force never really developed much -- I wasn't willing to waste tonnage on subs in the treaty era, and felt there were more effective things to do with my money after. The Fleet Air Arm might well have been overinvested into -- I built dozens of airbases, with sizeable airgroups.

Here are all the ships that were lost in battle during the game. And this is the final game situation.

Selected news/events:
I refuse to subvert Icelandic democracy!
I make a realistic appraisal of the best Italian cruiser I know of!
I wish them well, but alas, no luck!
I remember that KSP's pretty cool!
I involve myself in politics (by talking with the Socialists) due to budgetary woes!
Japan gets into another war (and drags Germany in with them)!
An unexpected outcome!
Fuck disciplinarians!
I lose my sole helicopter carrier!

***

Overall, while this hell did gradually worsen, it wasn't super-hellish. The Curse of Idealism definitely meant that my budget suffered from time to time, but so too did my wasteful buildup of airbases and airgroups for every base. And given that the game gradually decreases the income you get from exploiting your colonies, I suspect most late-stage Britain games might wind up in a similarly difficult position -- they're left with a massive empire to defend, and still have a higher requirement for ships to police that empire, but with fewer and fewer resources to defend it with.

I think it's worth noting that IRL, the Royal Navy declined massively by the 1970s. And for good reason! Britain couldn't afford to pretend it was an empire any more, and instead tried to maintain a welfare state for a while!

***

That being said, I see that I'm being sent to another hell. Which is it?

[ ][HELL] Mirrored Hell (Play as Germany, 1920 start -- Versailles and WNT in effect, large fleets)
[ ][HELL] Treaty Hell (Play as France, 1920 start -- no Versailles, random treaty, larger fleets)
[ ][HELL] Cursed Hell (Play as USA, 1935 start -- the two curses with the most votes are applied, large fleets)
[ ][HELL] Terrified Hell (Play as France, 1935 start, larger fleets)

And what has cursed this run?
[ ][CURSE] Curse of hot air (I must always give the most bellicose speeches possible when asked, and I must have an airship base in each map region that I have holdings in by the end of the game)
[ ][CURSE] Curse of legacy (I must choose officers who are 'well-connected' for my ships and divisions, regardless of talent, and I may not willingly scrap a ship that has seen battle)
[ ][CURSE] Curse of pride (I must always choose options that increase prestige, and must seek to have the biggest ship on order or in service)
[ ][CURSE] Curse of wanderlust (During times of peace, I must have a capital ship perform a 'five-year mission' (sailing around the world, not returning home until five years pass), and any new ships I build must have Long or Extreme range)
[ ][CURSE] Curse of wings (I may not build new battleships, and I must have an airbase with max air group in each map region that I have holdings in by the end of the game)

(As a note, any options that receive no votes will never show up again, while the option(s) that received the second-most votes show up in the next vote. Approval voting is allowed.)

The German Republic in 1920 is not in a great way, to put it mildly. Food shortages, inflation, political strife... and least importantly, a weak navy of two pre-dreadnoughts, one armored cruiser, and a bunch of destroyers and corvettes, with a restriction to 100,000 tons total (with about 77,000 tons built). At least everyone else is also limited to 10,000-ton ships with 8" guns. Still, my objective is what it is, and I have to start somewhere. I make choices to slowly attempt to grow my budget, scrap my unneeded colonial-service corvettes, set my starting research priorities, and most importantly, I start expanding my docks and build up airship bases. By summer, I scrape up enough budget to design and lay down my first new ship, a 6000-ton light cruiser. She commissions in 1922.

In early 1921, Japan takes over part of Indonesia-- in my previous run, I would've tried to at least assemble an international force, but this doesn't affect Germany's pride. Still, it gives some people in Naval Intelligence ideas. I take them up on their plan, hold my breath... and install a pro-German government in Norway! To my surprise, the game only models the naval limitations of Versailles, so I can still develop naval aircraft, and set up a tiny airgroup, in addition to my airship bases. I also send a pre-dreadnought into refit, after discovering it's too slow to even convert to an aircraft carrier, and manage to put together a new destroyer class with a boring name, but with good ASW performance -- which I figure is relevant given my aged fleet and my inability to build submarines of my own. France allies with the US, which keeps me on my toes... but I won't stand in the way of my proud sailors. I find a rival with a navy in nearly as bad a situation as me, and another, and refuse to accept corruption.

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take, so I try my luck with a German-French alliance... which eventually pays off (for a while)! Having stabilized my situation, I develop a new heavy cruiser design allow myself to be more aggressive. But not too aggressive! The game lets me 'cheat' displacement limits by 10%, which I take advantage of. Airship development continues, and while I'm not an idealist in this run, I'm still happy about this bit of news, and later about this bit, and even this bit. It doesn't keep me from picking on China a bit, though. With the development of aircraft catapults, I can launch seaplanes without requiring ships to come to a stop, so I tweak the heavy cruiser design to give it a seaplane. And with my first heavy cruiser underway, I convert my sole surviving armored cruiser into a light carrier. I'm not the only one building carriers, though!

My rival has formed an interesting alliance. Naval intelligence continues to have ideas, and this one I reject. I contemplate scrapping my pre-dreadnoughts, just a few years after refitting them, but the government pushes me not to. As the decade nears its end, tensions with the UK rise rapidly, and the government even asks flat-out if we can take them on. (We can't, obviously!) And yet despite my best efforts, Germany is at war with Britain in October 1929. We have 1 light carrier, a pre-dreadnought battleship, five cruisers, and a passel of destroyers. They have... more. There's one slight benefit, in that I can now build ships of any size and armament (and have enough of a surplus to build big)... but will the Republic survive long enough to pull this off?

That's for me to know, and you to find out in the next update.

The one good thing about naval arms limitation treaties is that you start accumulating a surplus when you run out of tonnage or ships to refit. If I can hold out long enough, the Republic may well get some rather big ships.

"If," says the RN. And yet, in a furious night battle in the North Sea, off the coast of Scotland, I torpedo a British battleship, nearly sinking it, for only relatively light damage to my ships. A mix of luck, torpedo training, and good maneuvering of my ships helped me not merely survive, but flat-out win the first battle of the war.

"If," repeats the RN, blasting my destroyer force off the German coastline, sinking one of only two light cruisers via mine, blockading me to a degree I have no hope of overcoming.

And yet... seven months into the war, having fought surprisingly well against a vastly superior navy, Britain agrees to a nearly status-quo peace. And as a result, I can lay down a battleship larger than any IRL except the Yamato-class [numbers might be wonky due to technical developments]. She's even got a seaplane hanger! Once she is completed, the Republic will have the biggest battleship in the world, a source of pride for all.

"If," says the Nazi, suggesting I betray the Republic, thinking I value my budget more than my honor. But he's wrong about that, even if the Chancellor wants to create a fancy building and useless boat using my money, and tries to get me to fund a fancy boat race.

At least the Chancellor does help ease tensions with the Soviets for now. Meanwhile, ships from my wartime construction program finish, including this light carrier. I design a larger, purpose-built carrier, too, and start to encounter an interesting issue -- there's not many names that the game will suggest for German carrier designs. I decide to go with Graf Zeppelin for now, in honor of the zeppelins I'm cursed to operate to the end of the game.

Three months out from the Rheinland's commissioning, there's talk of a disarmament conference; I cannot allow this to happen, as there's no way my monstrosity of a battleship would survive any treaty limits. Two months out, and I'm already boasting about her. And just before the end of 1932, I complete the biggest battleship in the world. (And she's fast, to boot!)

Apparently not everyone's so proud of what the German Republic achieved. This coup fails, too. Fuckin' Nazis.

Selected events:
A surprisingly good choice of image for a flying brick
I feel like my destroyer research is coming along faster than in the previous game
Even with my new battleship, I'm not ready to take on the Soviets
I try to find an ally; hopefully they can stay my ally long enough to have my back in a war