Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

"Dango! Gitcher dango! Fresh and hot!"

"Spiced chicken! Hot spiced chicken, fresh off the grill!"

"Honey candy! Who wants honey candy?!"

"Dragon wine! Newest, rarest, the drink of daimyo and ninja, now available to sample for free! Dragon wine!"

Renbutsu Ryū paused at that, curious. He stepped over to the vendor, a young man whose booth was covered in small cups that held barely two sips. The cups were filled with a light burgundy liquid unlike anything Ryū had seen before.

"Welcome, sir!" the vendor called, face lighting up as Ryū approached. "May I interest you in some of my spiced ice wine? It was brought from beyond the sea at great expense, made from the tears of Higenjitsutekina, the Great Dragon of Sky. The tale of its acquisition is a long one but well worth the hearing, I promise you." He shoved a small cup towards Ryū who sniffed it carefully. It smelled sweet and fruity. He tossed the tiny cup back and the little splash of liquid hit his tongue with an explosion of heat and sweet that shot his eyebrows up.

"Wow!" Ryū said. "This is amazing. What is it?"

"Dragon tears, as I said, sir," the vendor lied through his teeth with a huge smile. "The dragon captured me on my travels last year. I spent forty days in his presence, telling tales for my life. Finally, I told him a tale of such sadness that he wept like a child. He thanked me for the tale and, as a reward, permitted me to capture the tears and take my leave."

"You are one heck of a liar," Ryū said, laughing. "Pull the other one. It's grapes, isn't it? It's sweeter than grapes, but it's grapes."

The vendor put his hand on his chest in pretended shock. "Sir, you would call me a liar? I reject your rejection! Dragon tears, as I said. Would you care to take home the finest and most luxurious palate-pleaser in the world? It's only a thousand ryō the bottle and cheap at twice the price."

Ryū snorted and waved the man off. "I'm a carpenter, sir. Not made of money."

The vendor didn't bat an eye. "Ah, well, at least spread the word that you liked it, hey?"

"That, I can do," Ryū said. He gestured towards the cups, got a nod of permission, and scooped one up for another sip. "I've been working for the Gōketsu clan, building their new estate, and Lady Firehair often stops by to say hello to me and the other workers. I'll mention it to her next time I'm there."

"The Will of Fire bless you, sir," the vendor said, sincerity fervent in his voice. He hesitated. "You work for the Gōketsu, you say? Any idea what all this is about?" He gestured vaguely about at the festival around them.

Ryū shrugged helplessly. "No idea. Lady Gōketsu asked us all to come today, and to bring everyone we knew. Apparently Lord Gōketsu has an announcement to make."

"I hope it's just an announcement," the vendor said, lowering his voice and looking around. "I heard he's been killing everyone he meets who isn't blonde."

"What? That's insane! Lord Gōketsu would never do such a thing."

"Are you sure?" the vendor asked, leaning close. "Didn't he murder his girlfriend? Not Lady Yamanaka, the one he was cheating with."

Ryū's eyes narrowed. "Shut your stupid mouth, you idiot. You are referring to Lady Gōketsu Akane, and she was a delight. Lord Gōketsu is a good man and he has been absolutely shattered by her death. Stop spreading such lies. Lord Gōketsu would never kill anyone who didn't deserve it." He leaned in close, the words angry as he jabbed a finger at the vendor's chest.

"Okay!" the younger man said, raising his hands in surrender. "I'm sure I heard wrong, that's all."

"Damn straight you did," Ryū growled. "You can forget about me mentioning your filthy dragon sweat to anyone." He slammed the cup down and stormed off.

In a shadow a short distance away, a short, red-haired woman smiled and slipped away.


A Banshee seal flicked on and off, causing several hundred people to jump. They stopped whatever they had been doing and turned to face the raised stage on the south side of Namikaze Square.

It was surprising what one could do with the resources of a wealthy clan, an absolute lack of concern for budgets, and an intense desire for speed. The announcement of the festival had gone out at dawn, a dozen vendors and several dozen buskers had been set up on Namikaze Square an hour later, and people had started drifting in almost immediately. When it was discovered that the food and drinks were free the word had run far and fast, seemingly every citizen of Leaf showing up within minutes. The square was so crowded that one had to eel through the press, taking care not to step on anyone's feet as they went.

Obviously, the vast majority of the crowd were random civilians. Tradesmen, beggars, artists, the sorts you saw in random neighborhoods on a random day or night. There were, however, a smattering of greater personages: the heads of all the voting clans and many of the minors, each with their own particular entourage. A third of the Merchant Council, wrapped in rich robes and holding mugs of hot tea. A thick slice of Leaf's ninja forces, many of them clinging to the sides of buildings with both feet and a hand. Last but not least and freshly arrived, the Hokage flanked by four masked ANBU.

Asuma's arrival had been the signal everyone was waiting for. Hazō had been staying out of sight behind the curtain that formed the backdrop of the raised stage, but as soon as Noburi gave him the high sign he stepped onto the stage and blipped the Banshee seal in order to gain everyone's attention. Oh boy did it work; within seconds there was total silence and what felt like thousands of eyes on him.



"Friends, countrymen, people of Fire!" Hazō called, projecting from the diaphragm as Mari had trained him. "I ask that you hear me this day.

"You all know of Hidan, the S-rank ninja from the former terrorist organization Akatsuki. A man who believes that death is..." He paused, shaking his head and allowing his lip to curl in disgust. "A man who believes that death is a sacrament. You all know of how he compelled me to follow him through Leaf two days ago, how he compelled me to profess belief in his deity. Some of you heard me push back against him until he started opining about how perhaps my clansfolk and the Leaf citizens around us needed to be sanctified."

He let it hang in the air, looking out over the crowd slowly, letting them see how he stood straight, spine unbent.

"Yes," he said, voice grave. "I humored his opinions. I nodded my head gravely." He nodded, the gesture exaggerated and his brows pulled down with pretended fascination. "I'm not proud of it, but it had to be done. The Will of Fire is the will to protect. It is the Hokage's duty to protect all of Fire. It is the Merchant Council's duty to protect the economy. And it is a Clan Head's duty to protect his clan." He shook his head, visibly tired. "Against most enemies, I could fight. I could use words. Strong words. I could back those words by personal strength, both that of my arms and my power as the Dog Summoner. I could back them by the strength of my clan, the strength of all the clans of Leaf, the strength of the Hokage himself."

That sentence had been the subject of four hours of argument in the Gōketsu council room. On the one hand, it was an implication—and only barely an implication instead of an assertion—that the Hokage was too weak to fight back against Akatsuki. On the other hand, it showed why Hazō needed to bow his head to the murderous psychopath. Plus, he was about to clean it up.

"I could do that," Hazō said again. "But it would be irresponsible. My role is to govern, to follow the Will of Fire and to protect my people. The same as the Hokage, the same as the other Clan Heads, the same as the Merchant Council, the same as every foreman and construction chief and husband and father and priest and mother across Fire. The first thing that every one of us knows..." He chuckled and shook his head. "Forget all that. Let's keep it simpler. The first thing that every parent learns is to pick your battles. There's no need to fight about whether your toddler wants to wear their pajamas at night when the key thing is that they go to bed. Likewise, there's no need to cause a fight in the streets of Leaf against a man who believes that 'collateral damage' is a phrase that falls in the same category as 'honey candy and adorable puppies'."

A laugh went through the crowd.

"My advisors tell me I should have made this speech two days ago. That I should have hastened to apologize for using every method at my disposal to protect my people and the citizens of Leaf that Hidan took me past specifically so that I couldn't afford to oppose him. I pooh-poohed them. I told them that it wasn't necessary, that it was obvious what had happened, that the people of Leaf would know that I was acting in accord with the Will of Fire, that I was acting as a responsible leader should." He took a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh, shaking his head ruefully.

"Next time I'll listen to my advisors," he said. "They're smart and they know what they're doing. That's why they're my advisors. Unfortunately, I didn't listen to them. At least, not until today, when they told me something new. When they told me that interested parties have been...I believe 'stirring the pot' is the phrase they used. That my enemies have been telling everyone that this..." He paused, frowning in thought. "This...this..." He snapped his fingers in recollection. "Jashin. Hidan's god, Jashin. My enemies have been telling everyone that I believe in this Jashin, that I am some sort of insane cultist or something." He shook his head in disbelief. "I mean, isn't it obvious? Clearly, the man who funds Leaf's General Hospital is a cultist of death. The man who opens a free clinic where senior medic-nin treat civilians for free enjoys bathing in the blood of children. The man who opened a school so that every citizen of Leaf could learn to read, could learn their numbers so that they don't get cheated in the marketplace, believes murder is a way to..." He shook his head and shrugged. "Improve the world? Become a stronger ninja? I have no idea.

"Regardless, since apparently it's necessary, I am making this formal announcement: I do not worship at the altar of this murderous god. Death is not my sacrament. I believe that death is good only when it is the death of Fire's enemies, or those who prey on our countrymen. Do I believe that this Jashin exists?" He shrugged. "Maybe? The world is a wide place and none of us know everything that's out there. Hidan claims his god is real, that it gives him power. It's true that he is a powerful ninja, so maybe this Jashin truly does exist and it truly does give him strength in combat. Regardless, it doesn't give me strength in combat and I do not give it the blood of our people."

That was a very carefully parsed denial. It had to be, because Hidan would definitely come back to Leaf at some point and would definitely hear about what Hazō had said. At which point Hazō could point out that Jashin didn't have altars and that death was Hidan's sacrament, not Hazō's, since Hazō served Jashin's Birth aspect. Hazō could say that he had needed to say these things in order to retain the position that made him useful to Lord Jashin but he had never actually denounced the god, nor even claimed that Jashin didn't exist.

"Fire is the wealthiest and most feared nation in the world," Hazō continued. "In large part because our leader is the Hokage, the incarnation of the Will of Fire. And, also because those who advise and support the Hokage are some of the strongest, most skilled people in the world. They are masters of every art—military, economic, and political. They use those skills to carry the Will of Fire across the world, to deceive our enemies into foolishness, to make the agents of foreign powers believe falsehoods. Those are laudable acts, but those skills can be misapplied. They can be turned against the Will of Fire, against the harmony of Leaf. They can be used to play politics"—he sneered the words—"to promote the interests of one clan over another."

He stopped speaking, standing as straight as an Academy student at inspection, his hands folded behind him as he slowly surveyed the entire crowd from left to right.

"To those of you who have wondered about these rumors, who have even found yourselves believing them, I say this: do not be embarrassed. I tell you true that the ninja of Leaf and their agents are the best in the world at military espionage, and that espionage often involves twisting the truth, planting doubts and insecurities, turning brother against brother. Those skills are honorable and worthy of respect when they are turned on our enemies, when they divide our foes against one another so that they are too busy infighting to bother us. They are due high praise when they are used in accordance with the Will of Fire. When they are used as they have been here, to divide Leaf's people?" He snorted in disgust.

To the side of the stage, Noburi leaned closer to Mari. "He's really cutting loose, isn't he?"

Mari smiled, not taking her eyes off Hazō. "Wait until you hear the rest of it," she said quietly. "I gave him three options, mild, medium, and hard. He took the hard option, looked at it, and told me to stop being such a wimp."

"My initial thought when I heard what had happened," Hazō said, "when I heard how the Gōketsu's name, how my name, had been dragged through the mud? My initial thought was to find these enemies and repay them tenfold. To drag them through the streets by their hair and wash their faces in the dirt before you all." He sighed in regret. "That was my first thought, in the moment of rage upon hearing this foolishness. But, adults are not permitted to behave according to their first thoughts during a moment of rage. No, adults—especially clan heads—take measured action in accord with the Will of Fire, and the Will of Fire does not permit one clan head to spank another in the public square like the naughty child they have acted as. Hard as it may be to restrain that first impulse, it is always better to work together, to promote harmony among we citizens of Leaf.

"As such, I say this to whomever has been spreading these lies: I forgive you. I forgive you, and I ask that you forgive me for whatever slight you feel I have done to you. Whether I have spoken to you a careless word or served you too bitter a tea during council or forgotten to send a gift on your birthday, I ask your forgiveness. I invite you to come to the Gōketsu estate with your grievance that I may apologize in person." He shook his head. "No, that's not enough: I will go to your estate to apologize. Send me a message so that I know where to go and I will be there within the hour. After I have apologized, we can discuss ways to work together to forward the interests of Leaf.

"I understand that the Gōketsu are a new clan, an energetic clan that wants to change the world for the better, and that it isn't necessarily comfortable for entrenched powers." He paused again, looking over the crowd. "It may not be comfortable, but it isn't a bad thing. The Gōketsu have more opportunities than we have resources to pursue. We want partners, allies, so that we can help all of Fire. And yes, there will be profit in those things, benefits to everyone who participates." He chuckled. "Hopefully we can be forgiven for making money doing the right thing. In fairness, we put most of that money back into our next venture to raise the standard of living for the people of Fire. Whoever has been spreading these rumors is welcome to work with us, and benefit just as much, and do whatever they like with the money.

"Thank you all, and enjoy the party." He disappeared into a blur of Substitution, vanishing as only a ninja could.


"That speech was quite vigorous," Shikamaru said, his voice carefully neutral.

Lady Amori snorted. "It was a declaration of war. Whomever your enemy might be"—she didn't bother pretending to doubt—"they aren't going to take that lying down."

"Oh?" Hazō said, not a trace of emotion in his voice. "I wonder what he might do? Perhaps he will hire every actor in Leaf to mock us in the streets. Perhaps he will torment my brother at his wedding. Perhaps his bigotry will drive my brother-in-law to such a rage that he attacks the head of a voting clan?" He looked at the twelve clan heads and clan heirs gathered around him. "This 'unknown' person spread rumors that I am a traitor to Leaf, a madman who worships a god of murder. In completely unrelated news, the Hokage recently told me and Lord Hagoromo to lay off of one another, an infuriating command that I have followed because I am a loyal ninja of the Leaf. Whomever this unknown rumormonger might be, if he has a problem with me then I'm happy to meet him on the field and give him the chance to get beaten bloody. In the meantime, we have places to be." He turned and set off at a rapid lope.

The others fell in around him.

"Where are we going?" Lord Kurusu asked. The man was older but he was still a field-capable ninja; he had no problem talking and running at the same time.

"Bakuchioka," Hazō said.

"The village?" Hinata asked. "Why? What is significant about it?"

"It's the village where—" He stopped talking and ran for another dozen yards before starting again. "You'll see."

"What does that mean?" Lady Kei demanded.

"It means you'll see. Come on, it's not far." He shifted up into the fastest jog that could be sustained for a modest distance and thoroughly ignored all questions.

It didn't take long for them to arrive at the walls of Bakuchioka. The town had received special attention from the various development agencies of Leaf. The Nara Future Foundation had pulled out all the stops, supplying the town with cash, livestock, trained herdsmen, a blacksmith, a carpenter, two teachers, and three civilian doctors, all of them masters of their respective crafts. The Gōketsu had sent two dozen till'n'fill missions. The town had been walled up with a double layer of MARI walls around the entire thing and an elevated road was under construction; it would eventually lead from the gates of Bakuchioka to the gates of Leaf, allowing the townsfolk to sell their goods into a far larger market. Two new wells had been dug, fields had been cleared of stones and stumps, plowed by enthusiastic pangolins rolling around, and then enhanced via the Motoyoshi fertilization jutsu. The forest had been cleared back a hundred yards, the lumber sectioned up into convenient lengths by use of a Force Wall saw. Ninja came out once every two weeks to set up the Force Wall saw if anyone wanted it. Houses had been reinforced...basically, anything and everything that could be done had been done to improve the lives of Bakuchiokans and salve Hazō's guilty conscience. It was working, because the town had swelled by at least fifty percent as people migrated into the new paradise.

They stopped at the tree line, all of them forty feet up on various branches of various forest giants so that they could see over the walls. Hazō studied the place, looking for anything else that could be done or needed to be fixed; nothing caught his eye. The other clan heads stared in surprise at the clearly prosperous town.

"Hazō?" Hinata asked. "What are we doing here?"

"Hidan brought me here," Hazō said, keeping his eyes on the town and his voice as steady as he could manage. "He had this sick game in mind and forced me to play it. Go into the town, ask them to tell you the story. Ask them if they think I'm a Jashin worshipper." Finally, he looked over. "And be gentle with them, please? Civilians tend to panic when they see any ninja, let alone a large group. Try not to frighten them."

"You could just tell us," Lord Kurusu said impatiently.

Hazō shook his head. "No. It's better if it comes from them, and it's better if I'm not there so it doesn't look like I'm influencing their story."

"We don't even know who to talk to," he said.

Hazō snorted. "Literally anyone. They'll all know."

Lord Kurusu studied the village. "You could have briefed them..." he said doubtfully, although he didn't sound like he believed it.

"I didn't," Hazō said. "Talk to multiple people, make sure the stories line up. Again, be gentle. Please."

Shikamaru sighed. "Troublesome. Why did you even invite me?" He turned to the others. "I too shall wait here. As Hazō's brother-in-law I could be seen to have a conflict of interest and I do not want anyone to claim that I influenced the testimony. Hazō briefed me on the event immediately afterwards so I am already familiar with the details."

"Why exactly did you bring us here?" Akimichi Chōza asked, speaking for the first time since they had left Leaf. "We heard your statement. We hardly need to hear it again from a bunch of civilians."

"Speeches are one thing, testimony is another," Hazō said, meeting the older man's eyes. "Hidan's murder cult is repugnant to me. I reject it in the strongest possible terms and I don't want any of you having the slightest doubt that I mean it. If this doesn't convince you..." He shrugged helplessly. "I hope it will convince you."

Lord Akimichi studied him for a moment then nodded and looked to his left. "Hinata, you are probably the least threatening of us. Why don't you make first contact and we'll follow you in when you give us the sign?"

She nodded assent. "Of course. A moment, please," she said, before leaping from the tree and jogging towards the town's walls.

No one spoke. Everyone waited, the tension hanging in the air.

The others might be feeling tension, but Hazō found himself curiously light. A weight had been removed from his shoulders, as it always was when an op had finally commenced. The planning and preparation were done, the die was cast, there was nothing to do except wait and see how it turned out. He leaned against the tree's massive bole, arms crossed and a small smile on his lips as his eyes drifted closed. He focused on the pleasing sounds of woodland life around him and the sensation of a faint breeze on his travel-flushed cheek.

After a few minutes the branch beneath his feet bounced slightly as the other clan heads leaped off and jogged towards the town at a slow and hopefully non-threatening pace.

"Will it convince them?" Hazō asked the air, not opening his eyes.

"Uncertain," Shikamaru said quietly. "It assuredly will not hurt."

"C'mon, Shika," Hazō said, a smile in his voice. "Take off your 'cautious Nara' hat and give me your best guess. I won't hold you to it."

Shikamaru sighed in irritation. "I cannot say. Some of them will be convinced, probably. The rest will be pushed towards belief although they may not cross the boundary fully."

Hazō nodded to himself. "Good enough," he whispered.

---

XP AWARD: 3 This update took the morning and part of the afternoon (i.e., not a full day).

Brevity XP: 0 (388 words)

"GM had fun" XP: 1 Overall a fun plan.

FP:

• -3 for invokes on the speech
• +1 for succeeding at a major task

It is now about 3pm.

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, Jul 26, 2022 at 7:00 AM .