- Pronouns
- He/Him
I'm only voting for Jashin content so I would unvote unless it were replaced with e.g. trying to get Hidan involved
-
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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Location
- USA
Nah, I've voted for yours because I like the general tone of sincerity and grief. I'd rather avoid venting anger.
The seance is orthogonal.
- Location
- Yes.
More commentary on this based on Discord: In retrospect I am having a hard time agreeing to do (go to Iron, Conclave), since Kagome is going to really really pressure us to focus on rescuing Akane and isn't going to take no for an answer. And if he does it means he's snapped and is going to go missing, which is its own kettle of fish.
IMO we need to do something that enables us to remain in Leaf but keeps Orochimaru out of our hair. Still not sure what that is yet.
- Location
- how about no
Original plan, before edits:
By going to Iron and/or Rice we will have better odds of finding her killers and/or more clues to help us and we will be away from prying eyes if we want to do some seal research in the field. It would be hard to explain why Kagome would be focusing on the Rift seal rather than the Great Seal when we have not told the Tower about our Rift research in the first place. If we are in the field though, we will have more opportunities to collaborate with Kagome in person without Leaf politics getting in the way.
At least, that's what I hope will/can happen if we take a clue finding trip outside of Leaf.
By going to Iron and/or Rice we will have better odds of finding her killers and/or more clues to help us and we will be away from prying eyes if we want to do some seal research in the field. It would be hard to explain why Kagome would be focusing on the Rift seal rather than the Great Seal when we have not told the Tower about our Rift research in the first place. If we are in the field though, we will have more opportunities to collaborate with Kagome in person without Leaf politics getting in the way.
At least, that's what I hope will/can happen if we take a clue finding trip outside of Leaf.
- Location
- Earth
- Location
- how about no
Updated plan:
We follow Asuma's orders to the letter and, through letting Naruto decide our next mission, let the QM's decide if we should go clue hunting outside of Leaf's borders to get the plot moving and get some punching in.
We follow Asuma's orders to the letter and, through letting Naruto decide our next mission, let the QM's decide if we should go clue hunting outside of Leaf's borders to get the plot moving and get some punching in.
- Location
- Yes.
[X] Action Plan: Following Procedure
General sanity-check blah blah
General sanity-check blah blah
I would recommend stating that this will be done via Seventh Path.
Personal opinion says for Hazou to do it personally but that's just me and you are free to ignore this.
- Location
- how about no
I'll add in "via 7th Path"
I chose runners so it could be off screened. We are going to have a lot of scenes already getting everything taken care of and Hazou needs to rest after everything that absolutely cannot wait is finished.
- Location
- Fifth Dimension
- Location
- how about no
Minor edits made for sanity checking before we return to Leaf proper, still under 300 words
- Location
- Pacific standard
I trust you faflec, do what you will with my vote
- Location
- how about no
Could I interest you in my plan since I just made some edits based on extensive feedback from faflec and it just got faflec's latest vote?
Aodyssey
The glass will not protecc you
- Location
- Chaldea
[X] Action Plan: Life Carries On
Canvass note that the attackers appear to be one adult and two not-yet-adults, two women and one man. Unless they're Narutos type it's slightly unlikely for teenagers to be Jonin class.
Canvass note that the attackers appear to be one adult and two not-yet-adults, two women and one man. Unless they're Narutos type it's slightly unlikely for teenagers to be Jonin class.
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
I do like the seal bank and will support efforts to implement it in subsequent plans, but in aggregate of all factors I think I like this plan best.
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Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Gonna be honest, I think FS's plan will turn out a lot better. When you're grieving, you really need to point yourself a direction, and see the impact you're making on people.
Speaking from experience here.
Whatever else is the case, I don't really expect Hazou's apology to come off genuine, if it doesn't involve addressing his grief in a productive way. I anticipate him lashing out, or making it clear in some way that the apology is not genuine. Putting it in the plan doesn't mean that he's going to actually be so, as evinced by the last chapter.
Speaking from experience here.
Whatever else is the case, I don't really expect Hazou's apology to come off genuine, if it doesn't involve addressing his grief in a productive way. I anticipate him lashing out, or making it clear in some way that the apology is not genuine. Putting it in the plan doesn't mean that he's going to actually be so, as evinced by the last chapter.
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- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
Reader: attempt rare and highly dangerous 3x REACTION COMBO
"Actually I only earned demerits out of asking questions and not being clan, but I was bumped up two years for taijutsu and well, once I succeed at making a jutsu once I never get the physical component wrong again, bloodline and all"
"Can you pretend? I have a kid who's shit at classes"
"Okay fine"
- step 1: tell them what to think.
- fin.
Running merrily through the snow?
Or on a wintry evening
All alight with fire's glow?
Sorry if I get less react-y and more contemplative, it's 4 am and also I took my meds.
It's a lovely chapter and I'm going to cry, saying it now in case I can't later
(edit: falling asleep in the middle of doing this was a good way of solving both issues)
well, it was an untested theory.
SHIKAMARU: No, like... just no. We don't send ninja to the meat grinder. That's what training missions are for.
NARUTO: But like, was there a chance of her falling to the kind of beast that's within a day of Leaf?
SHIKAMARU: She was a missing-nin for the better part of two years, some if it in Iron. Never alone, but she was a genin then.
NARUTO: My main question was: is she playing us for absolute imbeciles?
SHIKAMARU: No I think she's either just that dumb, or under orders to take the heat for someone higher up her Clan's chain.
NARUTO: So, contingency 7b?
SHIKAMARU: Contingency 7b.
It was a very informative exchange of glances.
Curious, in retrospect, how four common letters can cause such a strong emotional reaction. Words are magic, and undoubtedly our QMs are powerful wizards.
Adorable, adorable, adorable
Honestly, a boy thinking Yuri likes him back is about as bad as Catullus writing love poems to a girl he called Lesbia, and writing in Sapphic metre. It's retroactive dramatic irony is what it is.
Well duh she's taijutsu-spec
And the flame aura. It's not just me, right? ... right?
521 chapters later, she remembers her lesson. Best. Apprentice. Ever.
"Hey Hazō you were shit at classes weren't you?"
"Actually I only earned demerits out of asking questions and not being clan, but I was bumped up two years for taijutsu and well, once I succeed at making a jutsu once I never get the physical component wrong again, bloodline and all"
"Can you pretend? I have a kid who's shit at classes"
"Okay fine"
*sigh* typical
I mean, kinda true if till'n'fills are paid lower than D-ranks
Start by punching faces, work your way up.
*clicks tongue in irritation*
Hear me out: for the Marked For Back To The Future sidequest,
Gaku has guilt aura
Still waiting for the reveal that Lee was designed after Shadow Clones, somehow
Well duh, otherwise you could just grab your copy of Focused Dominance while not paying too much attention to the game's name written on the box, knock at Anko's door, and say- well, you wouldn't have the time to say much.
As a man of science, obviously he'll pick the... rare opportunity for a date. Scientists are so lonely.
She'd always imagined she'd fall... in battle with some entity stuck between dessert and cheese? No, this doesn't make sense. But where is the cheese?
"Young girl, my boyfriend is the best there is at putting on any face. You'll have to do better than that."
Can do both if you elope. Work on Project: Omnicule, you won't regret it.
How sad it is that this isn't the norm though
Are we sure two wrongs don't make a right? 'cause she went so far off the mark she accidentally said that a girl with a girlfriend is into girls, which is actually rather acceptable.
Stick a pin in it, we'll unpack that later. Presumably after taking the pin back out.
... we might also need to unpack that later, little miss Darwin.
Love love love small details like this paragraph that give so much life and just the right sprinkle of levity to what is otherwise a deathworld.
I see no downside there. You'd rather be a brainwashed willing tool of a totalitarian state regardless, but following an inimical, whiny, ugly chūnin instead? You can't really avoid the first part.
Oh no they're too young to know about the fish god
This made me break and laugh out loud. The devious master plan:
- step 1: tell them what to think.
- fin.
At this very moment, time stopped. A fly froze in mid-air. The deafening silence of a rush of blood to the temples roared in the stiller than still air. This is when we knew that Hazō would fucking snap.
No no she has a point
Do not taunt a sealmaster.
One goes fizzzzz... BOOM and the other goes "oh crap something weird happened to the timeline... in Hill Valley"
Death for you, thank you for flying Church of England.
We. Are. Bringing. Her. Back.
Well isn't that in character for him.
Oh. I didn't think of that. Why didn't I think of that? We're all gonna diiiiiiie
Well one of them has halfway decent instincts.
"Armageddon Initiative"
Oh don't worry. We're a Clan Head. We have "I would like to talk to your manager" powers.
When Hazō's grasp on sanity slips, he becomes even ruder. That's cool if you ask me. Drives home how detached he could become, raises his threat level.
Bad. Ass.
*slow, respectful clapping*
And if she's dead, we're still going to find her. A Path is not enough to keep us from her. It won't be.
I love every Naruto scene. His style and personality are just... just... aaaaaaaa so much love. Blorbo.
Other reason to love him: he's smart and considerate.
On the other hand, Shikamaru appending "wife" to his sentence was very funnie,
Temporarily at worst. Not yet at best.
Since she is likely dead... Yes, please do make things about remembering her.
... No, surely not.
Did we ever try to see what would happen if we reverse-summoned while we had clones out? Not that I would condone this attempt. Could make memories/minds/souls travel through the inter-Path geometry sideways.
Enma is the best.
The Inuzuka value their loyalty, point taken. Yamato isn't a jōnin for social stats, counterpoint given.
Yet.
We all wanted to say it, but that's like kicking a puppy
Red hound?
It's a good dog, Bront.
We could just go to the market, give Canvass spices from everywhere we can find... Can't hurt, right? Merchants go "oh yeah that's a plant that commonly grows in Rock" and bam, we know the people who attacked our dear, sweet, precious Akane had been eating like Rocksmen.
No no no no no no no no no no no
Hard to imagine what it's like for Yuno, who could have been in Akane's place, basically any time she left Isan proper, and no one would have come looking for her.
Maybe it was provoked and we don't know it. We have "no reason" and "the reason is (poorly-kept) secrecy" as sole angles. We need a third: "something unexpected happened." Actual Kagomexposition-style scorch squads picking on several teams? Anti-Youth Alliance? Hagoromo-paid mercenaries?
I'm concerned about the logistics of it.
I appreciate the care taken to anonymise which QM suggested a bloodhound nerf. Just in case, for safety reasons.
Be careful not to kill Ino off, too. You'll get to write NFtGH a lot more, but "No F*cks to Give" plan writers and voters may take... drastic steps.
And could I forget you
Running merrily through the snow?
Or on a wintry evening
All alight with fire's glow?
Did they go through the ground? Walking on the air? Who knows...
Sorry if I get less react-y and more contemplative, it's 4 am and also I took my meds.
It's a lovely chapter and I'm going to cry, saying it now in case I can't later
(edit: falling asleep in the middle of doing this was a good way of solving both issues)
Not for long.
Game recognises game... or perhaps we'll just have to shake a few heads.
Yikes.
I don't want to say it's Rock, but it's totally Rock right
She was supposed to be safe from it now
well, it was an untested theory.Okay yeah but why does that never change? Skywalkers are an incredible asset to abuse and Rock has good sealmasters. "Our ideology is that deep is better than high" sounds like a flaw to exploit
We can just navigate it, right? It's not like it's still dangerous to us or anything- oh wait, Inuzuka, right, you don't know how. So sorry. Yeah it's bad. Uh huh. Very dangerous, no one knows how to deal with its hazards.
Even humans on skywalkers? Wait no, wrong question. Even humans using high-level Earth techniques that allow for fast travel through the ground?
CrisisManagement!Asuma is efficient and quick to summon.
The fate of the world depends on you watching the perimeter.
He's smart, but he's proud.
And he's funny.
Hmmmmm. He's still thinking in terms of conventional warfare.
Good man. I mean, he's just humouring us of course. But that's fine. This man's emotional intelligence is high, high, high.
Of course not. She was - is - the best.
Having ANBU literally in our home was a good help.
We never learnt our lesson about devising countermeasures, did we?
Oh good we retroactively weren't rash or lacking in measure.
I mean, someone should do that, but we probably aren't the ones for the job tbh. Specialised infiltration teams with Canvass lent to them could do it better.
WE GOT ASUMA TO COMMIT TREASON WE DID IT WE WON
Died of natural causes for their line of work.
Give the Akatsuki the scoop and disguise kits. When you attack a genin team, there's a never-forgettable risk they're Itachi, Hidan, Sasori, and Konan in disguise. Who are all, obviously, Zabuza in disguise in the first place. In fact, disguise all genin as Zabuza.
Thinking back on the imported poop incident... yeah, if there's a discrepancy anywhere he'll find it.
That is so cool. Detail becomes threat becomes actual feature of Asuma's soul. It's not the first time he did this, but this one's got steps and integrates so well into the situation. I'm in awe at the display of skill - and Asuma's isn't bad, either.
Congratulations and sorry and also will their names be puns,
Asuma does a treason... and we openly decide not to? That's... wow.
Linguistics nerd time said:
T-thank you, l-Lord Hokage... *bawls her eyes out*
It wouldn't do to openly cry. You can't show them what matters to you. You can't. They will see it.
He knows it. We're bringing sexy back was never this literal, or a recuperation mission in the first place. Now it is. What are they going to do about it?
We will save everyone. We will. We will, save everyone.
Hey, Nara. Do your garden thing. Here are the flowers she liked. Yeah, they're chakra monster flowers. Your gardener will remember her, yeah.
The more body odours we get from them, the more I think we should bring Canvass to the market and see if she can identify any spices. Or wait... Leaf probably has sealed equipment from fallen enemies, because headbands and garbs for false flag operations and later inquiry are always good - I think I remember them being mentioned in early Rock War days, perhaps at a point we were considering involving Wind. Should we ask Naruto for clothes samples from other countries' ninjas, so Canvass can see (well, sniff) if the sweat fits their standard seasonings profile? Identifying the country they're from is probably big. We suspect Rock, but it could be a false flag.
Getting practice for the GALLOWS I see
HAZŌ: I prefer "nasty," as "wretched" is so impersonal.
HOW THE TURNTABLES. THE OTHER SHOE DROPPED ON YOUR THROAT WHILE YOU WERE TRYING TO KISS IT, AND THE STILETTO WAS A STILETTO DAGGER ALL ALONG. That metaphor was never given a chance to work.
Hazō did it better.
Ah yes, complain about report legibility in front of Lord Nara, the man in charge of a large part of intel and instigator of the foundation that teaches people skills and is partner to the GED, Lord of the Clan that doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of not being over-represented in teaching. Complain about the quality of teaching to him. The man who both knows what the results are like and manages the teaching input to some extent. That will end up well.
Oooooh yeah, that'll end well for you. Sage I love it when antagonists are morons. Did Kagome do this? This scene is so, so, so enjoyable.
NARUTO: Hey Shikamaru does that make the slightest bit of sense?
SHIKAMARU: No, like... just no. We don't send ninja to the meat grinder. That's what training missions are for.
NARUTO: But like, was there a chance of her falling to the kind of beast that's within a day of Leaf?
SHIKAMARU: She was a missing-nin for the better part of two years, some if it in Iron. Never alone, but she was a genin then.
NARUTO: My main question was: is she playing us for absolute imbeciles?
SHIKAMARU: No I think she's either just that dumb, or under orders to take the heat for someone higher up her Clan's chain.
NARUTO: So, contingency 7b?
SHIKAMARU: Contingency 7b.
It was a very informative exchange of glances.
Thank you, benevolent QMs, for the closure.
Don't cry... don't cry... Am I saying this to Ino or myself? Yes.
We'll fix the world. We will.
How lucky they are that they can get so much snow though...
- Location
- how about no
I don't like the precedent the A.K.A.N.E seal bank sets: we did not go to such great lengths when a sizeable portion of our clan suffered casualties from the latest sealing failure nor from our casualties that we suffered during the war. IIRC Noburi was called out on Hazou having an inner circle when one of the two kunoichi twins died and Hazou did not do more than the bare minimum of burying her.
We could set up a statue garden for each of our fallen (better to remember their faces to prevent them from dying dying in the Pure Lands), but grand displays like this only serve to highlight the differences between being a member of the Goketsu and really being a member of our core team or nascent council of elders.
Also the speech does not strictly deescalate which Asuma specifically told us to do, so that makes me nervous.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
People calling us out doesn't mean we're wrong.
We do have an inner circle; as do all clans, and all organizations, because it's not something that's really possible to avoid. You have to have layers of trust, something that Hazou has had to learn for himself. The fact that Hazou mourns more for Akane than for someone he adopted six months ago is natural.
I think it's a little silly to act like that's a bad thing.
- Location
- how about no
It's still open. There's a thread post from the QM's when voting ends.
- Location
- how about no
Having an inner circle is fine, but for a clan that is ostensibly built on the principles of working together to create equality under Uplift it what can those outer members do to gain acceptance into the inner circle?
By what criteria do we want to encourage our clan mates or potential adoptees? Right now to social climbers it would appear that the best way to gain access to Hazou's confidence would be to become his newest romantic partner. After all, it worked for Akane who was also a clanless nobody when she first left Leaf.
How we are perceived by the public matters because it will affect all sorts of things from adoptions, to deals with civilians, to clan cohesion, etc.
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
To be fair: Akane was Hazou's girlfriend. Everyone assumed that Hazou was going to marry Akane (even Kei seemed to treat it like a foregone conclusion). Hazou doing big and drastic things in Akane's memory, and as a way to work through his grief at her loss, is something that will be understood, if not outright expected.
Sure, Hazou didn't grieve Mai in the same way that he's grieving Akane, but Akane was Hazou's fiancée in all but name. Their love story was the thing of fairy tales, and the rumormongers of Leaf delighted in the chance to partake in such a love story. A love story that has been cut tragically short.
There's a reason why everyone's treating Hazou with compassion and patience right now. There's a reason why Asuma offered up his limited free time to help Hazou work through his grief. Because everyone knows Hazou just lost his fiancée in all but name.
I don't think it's a mark against Hazou that he's grieving Akane more than he is Mai, or Jinno, or any of our other lost clan members.
Sure, Hazou didn't grieve Mai in the same way that he's grieving Akane, but Akane was Hazou's fiancée in all but name. Their love story was the thing of fairy tales, and the rumormongers of Leaf delighted in the chance to partake in such a love story. A love story that has been cut tragically short.
There's a reason why everyone's treating Hazou with compassion and patience right now. There's a reason why Asuma offered up his limited free time to help Hazou work through his grief. Because everyone knows Hazou just lost his fiancée in all but name.
I don't think it's a mark against Hazou that he's grieving Akane more than he is Mai, or Jinno, or any of our other lost clan members.
Eisenhelm
gran dutch of douchery
- Location
- Colombia
can we give akane's garden to ino?, neither would be pleased if we let it just dry up.
also they are chakra monstrosities, so there is a non zero percent chance they would take over the compound if left unatended.
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Indeed, which is why I suggested 2 chunin and 1 jounin for the force composition. It could have been 2 spec jounin and 1 jounin as well. 1 jounin is still a pretty significant force to tie up for long periods of time. Most villages only have a few dozen.
