Okay, I have no idea how this omake looks to anyone else, but I have work that needs doing tomorrow and I'm never going to finish this if I don't finish it tonight. I tried to make the characters sound like different people when they spoke, but I can't tell how successful I was. Certain inaccuracies such as other people's usage of Tai Ling's name are deliberate, but feel free to point them out anyway in case I actually missed something.
If someone has a better suggestion for a title, I'll take it.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
The "Great Teacher" Tai Lung
Tai Lung was struggling with a conundrum. Which greatly annoyed him – for all that he thought himself wiser and more worldly than he had been, he had never been less certain of himself than he was now.
If that bitch Mount Tai could do him the favor of not moving for a while so he could get his bearings, it would be most appreciated.
On any other day, he would have chastised himself for the rude thought as a loss of discipline, but here and now he was too distracted. When his liege Aladdin (and wasn't that an odd thought, to willingly serve another) had instructed him to train the soldiers in jungle and night fighting, it had seemed a simple task. Was he not the greatest martial arti-
No, he was not. Even if he had not been defeated by
that fat ba the Dragon Warrior he had seen too much of the world and had too many illusions shattered to think in such terms. While he would probably get there eventually, he had not yet reached a point where he could make the blood of the world dance to his whim. So where before he would have simply grinned and gotten to work, this time he took it slow.
First, picking out the natural talents in the ranks. Those who walked and talked and moved more softly and quietly than their brethren, especially the ones who did so unknowingly. The tough ones who ran longer, drank more alcohol, endured greater damage in the sparring ring before they quit. And while he would never admit to the feeling of regret when he saw them, even to himself, the ironclad ones who gave more of themselves to every exercise and task – even when they probably shouldn't have.
Then he tested them. Stalking them when they were on night watch, infiltrating their bunks and barracks to move things around, throwing small packets of bird dung to see how they reacted to being startled out of their routines. That last was especially fun – how Shifu had punished him when Tai Lung delivered his "birthday present". Oogway had just laughed and pranked Tai Lung in return – he hadn't stopped itching for days, and he still didn't know how…
But this wasn't China. These soldiers weren't his fellow students and teachers. And they were, one and all, complete shit.
Their night vision was atrocious, their hearing was hardly any better. Their sense of smell and taste was acceptable, but all too often dulled by booze and brothels. The concept of relaxed vigilance was one they had apparently never heard of! If any of these men and occasional women had been students at the Jade Palace, they'd have been given some remedial training even Tai Lung shivered to remember!!
...
But then, that was the point. They had never heard of Shifu or Oogway or the Valley of Peace. Not one of them could even imagine the Trial of Eight Palms, or the March of Eggs and Grass.
And now, by given word and sworn obligation, it was Tai Lung's responsibility to teach them what he could of a land they had never seen, a history of martial excellence they had never heard of, all to hopefully never fight a war in one of the most lethal and bloodthirsty environments Tai Lung had ever seen in his travels.
…
…
Was this...was this how Shifu had felt teaching him?
He was going to need some advice on how to start.
-----------------------------------------------------------
He had to give Haroud credit for somehow acquiring a jug of Yellow River Rice Wine. It was something he did to everyone, presenting a small piece of what he thought was their home when he first met them to see how they reacted. Fortunately for Tai Lung's dignity, it wasn't quite on target.
"So what brings you to my table, Mr. Lung? I'd have thought you'd be busy with that training program our lord gave you."
Both blunt and searching. Arguably rude, but he was above such pettiness when it presented an opening to make use of.
"The – what do you call it, is curriculum the word? – is mostly complete, and will begin shortly. But while I was making plans I had a thought. Elite warriors are all well and good, but war is often a great deal of waiting with only brief periods of action and bloodshed. So I had a thought; if we're spending the money and time to create a high quality blade for Ababwa, why not see what else can be added to make them useful for other duties when open battle is not needed?"
"Oh?" Haroud leaned in slightly with a raised eyebrow and speculative smirk. "What duties did you have in mind?"
"Nothing too extravagant, just some extensions of what they will already be trained for. As night fighters in a jungle setting, I thought you would have some advice on how they might better learn to participate in eavesdropping and backstabbing."
Haroud's smirk widened into a grin. "Why Mr. Lung, what a thing to say! One would almost think you thought I was some sort of petty criminal, picking pockets and knifing drunks for coppers."
Tai Lung bared his teeth in return. "On the contrary, my dear Haroud – I do not think there is anything petty about you. I have nothing but respect for your skills, and would see it passed on to others if we can."
Haroud took a moment to sip at his own cup of wine, and Tai Lung did the same. When he set it down, the grin had settled slightly.
"Well, I am sorry to tell you that I do not know much of anything about that sort of business, but I do have a few amusing stories of my youth. Care to finish the rest of this jug with me as we spin yarns at each other?"
"Of course, my friend. Seems a good way to spend an evening."
"In fact, let me call in Sinbad and Scheherazade – they should be free this evening, and I suspect they have a few tall tales of their own we might enjoy…"
-----------------------------------------------------------
Aabdar the apothecary glared at the odd cat-man as he stood there in what he probably thought was a casual fashion.
"And why
exactly do you need, and speak up if I'm getting any of this wrong, 'a non-toxic paste resistant to the usual forms of dissolution but safely responsive to its counter-agent?' "
"Haroud and I were discussing the various tools he'd seen in his career, and one of the most infuriating yet most rewarding he's ever seen was a sort of glue trap used by one of his competitors. He never managed to make one himself, too 'finicky' apparently, but he's always wanted some for his own use. Seeing as to your skill with assorted poultices, unguents, and other such substances, the choice of who to ask was obvious."
"That doesn't explain why
you're here asking for it, nor why you apparently want it now."
"Well, in order to properly use such a thing training is required – who better than I to do so with a minimum of mess? And it is not strictly required now, simply at your earliest convenience."
"And was this pro-"
"Surely you can see the value in making a powerful tool that will aide both Haroud and I in service to our liege. Especially when we go into the jungles, where myriad dangers often keep us from securing its bounty of rare flora and fauna. It would make it so much easier for me to bring back multitudes of reagents that could be made into more tools of even greater splendor."
"…"
"…"
"If this comes back to bite us in the backside, I'm throwing you under the wagon."
-----------------------------------------------------------
Mama Nijah had heard many strange demands in her time. It was part and parcel of running an "open" tavern – you attracted the disturbing, the odd, and those simply touched in the head.
This wasn't the strangest request she'd ever received. But it was sufficiently unusual she was going to haggle hard over it.
"And what do you think to give me for sending the finest the Blooming Sea has to offer to attend to the first ten of your soldiers to...arrive here, Mr. Lung? Soldiers are hardly the nicest of customers, nor the richest, and this proposal reeks of something that's going to cause me no end of trouble."
"It won't, Mama Nijah. Several of my men will be standing by to make sure nothing untoward happens, un-liquored and sharp-eyed. They will help you keep things under control. As for payment, if the coin I'm offering isn't enough-"
"It is not, Mr. Lung. Coin is something I own in plenty and can earn plenty more of without straining myself or my flowers. Reputation and damages are not something to be risked lightly, and no amount of coin will convince me to go along with this."
"Then I must beg your forgiveness for my ignorance, sweet lady. I am only passingly aware of the practicalities of your business, and would welcome instruction as to how I might better earn your trust."
"A term of service as one of my flowers should work. Let's say, thirty days."
"Unfortunately unacceptable, my dear. As interesting as such service would be, I cannot in good conscious make such a commitment. Among other things, it would conflict with my duties to our king, long may he reign."
"You ask for instruction, then reject it out of hand?"
"Hardly out of hand – simply pointing out the error in the offer, as you have in mine."
"Twenty days, then, to be worked into your schedule. You could earn a great deal of coin and favor in such time, and I would be happy to show you the ropes."
"Madam, just as you will not accept my offer of coin, I will not accept your offer of ropes. Please choose something different."
…
"Tell me, how good are you with your hands?"
"It would depend entirely on how I used them, though I humbly claim many skills with them."
"I have heard rumors of odd practices in the Orient. Stories of how skilled physicians and healers can cure many maladies simply by touching different areas of the body. Would you happen to possess any such talents?"
"I cannot speak to the veracity of such rumors, though I have eased a few pains myself."
"Thirty days of service as a guard and healer, then, and your word that you will be discreet about it. I try my best, but even so we get occasional problems that must be dealt with swiftly before they cause trouble and my poor flowers don't deserve to be shamed for simply doing their jobs."
"I'll not serve as a guard for you. But ten days as a healer and teaching some basic knowledge to address minor injuries without more professional help is something I am willing to do."
Mama Nijah carefully hid her smile before it emerged. It wasn't what she was hoping for – an exotic like this talking cat-thing could have raked in gold hand over fist – but for whatever reason this Tai fellow was naive and didn't seem to understand just how valuable an unknown source of medical treatment was in this business. When all the physicians who served her kind were well known, a LOT of sensitive information could be discovered by who visited who at any given time.
And if it turned out he was a hack, it's not like she couldn't get more flowers. Ten days of service was more than enough to make some deals she had been kept away from by the need to not leave evidence behind.
"Bargained and done."
-----------------------------------------------------------
Tai Lung looked out over the assembled soldiers as they stood in place, sweating and gasping for breath. While they certainly weren't graceful several weeks of training had removed the sheer clumsiness they had first shown. They had even managed to complete this last round of exercises blind-folded without tripping each other, or some such nonsense.
"A-TTEN-TION! FORM RANKS!"
He counted internally as they stumbled and hobbled towards each other. Within two minutes, they stood in somewhat ragged lines with only a few stifled shouts and swearing to show for running into each other. Better – there weren't any new bruises this time, at least.
"AT EASE!"
Oh, that at least was well done. Not one occasion of elbows in other people's guts.
"Before I release you for the day, his honorable majesty the Prince Aladdin has recognized the serious difficulties – and occasional injuries – you have suffered in your duties. As such, he has reserved the Blooming Sea for your exclusive use this evening, paid for out of his own pocket, to reward your loyal service. Unfortunately, due to some renovations they only have ten of their private parlors available, but the rest of the tavern is yours to eat and drink your fill. I would recommend making your way to the bath-house; we have a new stock of cleaning supplies and it wouldn't do for the elite of Ababwa to make a poor showing. DISMISSED!"
Quick as lightning and quiet as a shadow, Tai Lung leapt back and up to the top of the wall surrounding the training yard, then down to the grounds below.
He didn't even make it to the gate before the soldiers started screaming and cursing up a howling racket.
Ah, so they did find the glue immediately. I suppose I owe Haroud three silver.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
That's the end of the Omake, but to answer a question I was asked without double-posting
Could you do a quick calculation of cost? The other two plan writers failed their initial Stewardship check, so I just want to be sure.
I have calculated the costs, and replaced Awakening the Past with It's Just Gibberish - this leaves my plan with a small surplus of gold which I think comes out to 2800 left.
EDIT: changed a minor word