Dargon 3.8: Frustration
You are a dragon, and for over the three centuries that you lived, you have not grasped the gifts of magic. You knew this. Accepted this. Made contingencies for when it is used against you. But even then, there was that yearning, that feeling of wanting to wield such power for yourself. Years spent mastering your breath, decades spent straining your wings to the very point of exhaustion just so you could fly the way you wanted to…
… All of that fell away, when faced with the prospect of learning magic. Your Grandmomma said that it would naturally come to you, when the time is right. Three centuries of living without it made you realize that it was a load of bull.
Not like you could ask other dragons to teach you, can you? At least, up until now.
"Wrong. Do it again."
You let out a curse, wings falling to the side as you shudder out a breath. A part of you jabs at the familiarity, of looking at Mestina's training from the other side, but you quickly push the thought aside before starting over once more. Deep breaths, eyes shut, mind searching for any tendrils of energy…
"Wrong. Do it again."
Another failed attempt. You… lost count this time around. Five-thousand four hundred and twenty-second? Three thousand two hundred and fifty-seventh? You didn't care at this point. Just… once. At the very least, you need a single attempt that was met with any measure of success. You wouldn't even care if it was a fluke at this point.
Just…
"Wrong. Do it again–"
"I KNOW!" You roar, quickly swiveling towards your mother with narrowed eyes and a snarl. It was a bad idea, of course – pissing off an elder dragon was more than likely to get you killed, but you've been at this for weeks, and you just… you just can't be bothered any longer. "… I will do it again. And I will keep doing so until I get it right."
"Or the meeting arrives."
Less than a week left, at that. Tomorrow, if you could still trust that small part of your mind that still kept track of the days. Certainly not enough time to unlock any kind of magic whatsoever, or to shape it into something that you could use. You would have to… to ask for help.
From Mestina.
…
Goodness, this will be fun. "At last, you see reason. It's a new record."
"Shut it." You grouse back, a feeling of tiredness over your shoulders as you wander off to find your wayward student, allowing your Momma to finally get some time for herself. Not that she particularly cared, given the way she quickly went back to browsing her backlog of theses and tomes the second you turned around.
Overall, it was a failure. You've always known, ever since the first seven times that Grandmomma Kiryu tried to do the same, that magic seems to flow away from you grasp. This was just… you certainly hoped that having some actual instruction might help, but…
Nothing.
At the very least, you still have your starfire going for you. "Now where would I hide if I were a juvenile dragon who had just learned magic…"
It was a simple question, with a lot of potential answers. Unlike you and your… problems, Mestina took to learning the damn thing like a mortal does to dying. While it doesn't excuse for the sheer amount of experience that one requires in order to truly be a terrifying monster to the battlefield, the fact that the magic responded to her so quickly was…
Hm. Perhaps it was a bit insulting, from the perspective of someone who tried to do such a thing for three centuries and didn't get squat.
But having magic isn't the end-all, be-all that most might expect. Mostly because you still have a brain, and it can see through patterns. Granted, it was but one data set, but you knew some of Mestina's hobbies that you could take an educated desk. "Automaton."
A ball of metal and wires pops out of one of the covers on the ceiling, landing on the floor with a soft bounce. It then unfolds into a contraption of four legs, and two arms filled with repeating ballistae, while its intimidating-for-a-mortal headplate turns towards you with a blank blue glow. "Awaiting orders."
"Search for aetheric signatures in the Erotica section."
"One aetheric signature found."
"Lead them to me."
"Orders understood and acknowledged."
It takes a few more minutes in order to find Mestina. A few more minutes to let her panic about how she was found out so quickly, then a couple more minutes to get her to calm down in order for you to actually talk some sense into her. Of course, it also meant escorting her out of the premises of that particular section of the archives, and it also meant listening to her whining about 'privacy' and all that while she casually ignored the fact that she was still too young to even go inside such a place.
"Wait. Let me get this straight."
"Go on. Laugh."
"It's been three years since Konnta started tutoring us on how to do this, and there's nothing?"
"Like I said. Laugh. You'll find that just having magic wouldn't be enough to help you if you actually do it."
"No, no, no – it's not that." Mestina shakes her head, turning towards the little motes of light now dancing on the palm of her hand. A neat little party trick, with no use in combat whatsoever. Of course, it was useless. "It was just… how long have you been trying to do this?"
"Think."
For once, she does. A moment or two passes before Mestina glances towards you, her body language telling you that she was ready to flee. "… How old are you?"
"Three centuries, give or take."
"Three–?!" She chokes on the mere number, but you merely scoff at her.
"I' m on the younger side." You expound with a grunt, "You learn not to count the individual years and decades as time passes on. I've heard of other dragons that pass a millennium in age, but by that point, you're already an elder."
Like your Momma, or your Grandmomma before her. For them, entire civilizations were nothing more than another footnote to add to their ambitions and motives. Like Grandmomma's darg empire, or your Momma's archives.
"And all that time, you haven't been able to learn magic?"
You hiss, and Mestina immediately tries to fly away. But you're not angry at her. Bitter, yes. Perhaps more than a little jealous, yes. But anger? No. That was all reserved for you, and you alone.
Just admitting that you couldn't do it, that you couldn't use magic, grated on you. You're sure that there's something that you're doing wrong, something that's actually holding you back from possessing the power to bend the landscape to your will. But without something of a baseline to draw upon, you can't exactly determine what's wrong in the first place.
You're sure that a dragon can't learn magic in the span of three years, lest all of your brethren would know how to do it by now. No – Mestina was an outlier, and you'd treat her as such. For now… for now you have to languish in your own inferiority, and the dark thoughts that swirled around.
"… No."
Something flashes in Mestina's face, and she turns towards you with a grim expression. "You want me to stand in for you when the Order of the Silver Hand arrives."
It was obvious, but you nonetheless have to give her the slightest bit of credit for figuring it out by herself. At the very least, she was learning something useful from your tutelage. "Yes."
"You want me. Me. To go to this obviously very-important meeting and act like you."
"I believe I confirmed it just a few seconds earlier."
"I'm going to screw it up!" She snaps, raising her arms over her head in frustration. "Do you want that? Having mages that could sneak into your lair fight us for accidentally insulting them?!"
"I have complete and utter faith in your abilities."
You managed to say it without gagging. Or laughing. Or chortling. You would take that as a win. Sadly, Mestina sees through your perfectly-crafted statement with ease, punching you in the shoulder before letting out a huff and stomping off.
"Let me believe it for a second." She grouses, before glancing towards you and letting out a sigh. "I-If you're that desperate to come to me for help, then… Fine. I'll do it. But if something wrong happens, then it's all on you."
Who said draconic diplomacy was difficult? "Wonderful. All that's left is to figure out what disguise should you go in tomorrow and–"
"I can't do disguises."
You blink. There was a death knell tolling somewhere, and you're pretty sure that it was your own. "What?"
"All I can do is make these shitty lights!" Mestina snaps, holding up her hand for you to see motes of light dancing in her palm. "I can't do any disguises whatsoever. Look, I just got magic. Do you really expect me to whip up something like that in an instant?"
Frankly, you could. If you had any magic at all. "Let's head back to the archives, then. The relevant section. We'll do this, or we won't show up at all, and we'll have to deal with those magic-wielding mortals sneaking into my lair anyway."
"I– Right. I signed up for this, it's my fault." Your wayward student sighs, dragging her feet along so that she kept your pace. "Can I ask a teeny-tiny favor in return?"
"No."
"All you have to do is to borrow one of the books in the erotica section when it's time to go back and–"
"No."
Even as you began cramming down an entire civilization's worth of knowledge down Mestina's throat, the thought still lingered in your mind. There was no doubt that she'd learn illusions by the end of the day – you'll make sure of that – but once that's done, what should she disguise herself as?
[] The typical mage. Old, white hair, with flowing robes of gray, and a gnarly staff that reeks with magic. At least, that's what they always looked like. You think. Besides, it would be good practice for Mestina. But if those stuffy mages find out… well, the two of you are still dragons. It'll be fine.
[X] A young prodigy. Clean-shaven, beautiful, and no doubt looking like they bathe in the waters of an eternal spring every day. Of course, just coming by themselves would make any self-respecting mage scoff, so you would need to do something drastic to push that angle of 'prodigy' forward. And with the amount of time you have, it would be… embarrassing…
[] Write-in.