Prince Aladdin Quest (Disney Villains *Almost* Victorious)

The masked one observed the slobbering beast with a keen, yet wary eye. It appeared moronic, yet there was cunning behind the dopey facade, to say nothing of how he outmassed the masked one at least three times. And those teeth! The noble Ruddiger had seen his share of stupid dogs during the flight of him and his great master to the salty water, and he had been forced to run for his life on more than one occasion during their age-long separation. But this one had jaws like a vice, and teeth that shone like daggers.

He would have to be very careful in establishing his dominance over the mangy hound. Fortunately, he, Ruddiger, the loyal servant of the great and wise Varian, was far more intelligent than the stupid mutt, and he-

Approximately thirty pounds of slobbering beast bowled Ruddiger over from behind as he realized, too late, that he had been too focused on plotting and not enough on his surroundings. He screeched in outrage as the clumsy beast slobbered all over his fine fur coat, and was unable to escape before suffering the ultimate indignity of having his majestic tail briefly gnawed upon.

Ruddiger scrambled up the mast, accompanied by the laughter of the dumb mutt's two-legged friends. He shook a paw as the dog scrabbled at the mast, but it lacked the dextrous paws and keen claws that all raccoon-kind possessed, clear evidence of their inherent superiority over all other beasts. Vengeance would be his!

~~~

At last, the beast had halted his vigilance; as the moon rose over the horizon, it finally settled down for the night in a coil of rope. The ape-like two-legged one who never left the rigging if he could help it was on the front of the ship, looking for obstacles that might endanger the Chimera.

Perfect.

With catlike tread, Ruddiger enacted his plan. As the beast snored into the rope, he carefully hoisted the bucket of fish chum that the Master's bearded friend used to attract fish to the ship. Up onto the railing...pull it along...aim it juuuuust right...and, with a purr of glee, Ruddiger dumped the entire bucket of fish blood and guts on top of Spike.

The dog flailed on the deck, sneezing and barking like a hound possessed. As Rat was forced to restrain Spike from jumping into the sea to get the noxious mixture out of his fur, Ruddiger was beside himself in raccoonish laughter, chittering and squealing as he rolled over the deck while pointing at Spike. Even his good and kind master scolding him and forbidding him from eating apples for three whole days didn't put a damper on his glee. Take that, dumb beast!

~~~

Two days had passed, and Ruddiger was at the end of his patience. Surely that dumb captain wouldn't miss one apple, would he? Feigning nonchalance, Ruddiger waited for the old man to slip up in leaving open the door to the galley; with his back turned, Ruddiger took advantage of the lapse in security to slip into the room where Luca prepared the food.

Quietly, he clambered onto the cutting table before leaping across open space to where Luca had left a fruit bowl sitting unattended. It was meant for the Captain, but he had apples all of the time! Couldn't he spare one for poor Ruddiger?

Finally, he was there. The apples were right in front of him! Ruddiger could barely keep himself from drooling as he reached out…

Before a very fast and complicated set of events took place as that brute Spike ambushed Ruddiger from behind, dunked him in the pot of ice-cold water he had been using to wash the fruit, before trotting out from the cabin, pleased as could be, a soaked and squalling Ruddiger carried in his mouth like he hadn't been since he had been a kit being disciplined by his mother!

Oh, the indignity!

"Ruddiger! Why were you getting into the apples again?" shouted the captain.

"Spike! Put Ruddiger down right this instant!" Ruddiger's generous and noble master commanded the hound, majesty in his voice. The dog, proving his utter lack of breeding and manners, just cocked his head at Varian as his tongue half-lolled out of his mouth onto Ruddiger's face. Eww, it was getting drool into his ear! Ewwww!

"Keep your pet under control! He needs to be a better passenger!"

"He can't help being afraid of dogs! Make him leave Ruddiger alone!"

The two continued in this vein for quite some time, or would have if She of the Majestic Ear-Scritches had not taken them both by the ears and marched them down to the deck, Sinbad to contain Spike and Varian to take back Ruddiger.

"And behave yourselves!" she scolded the two. "Varian, you and Ruddiger are our guests, act like one! And Sinbad, you are literally twice his age, stop acting like you're his spoiled twin brother!"

The two men gave each other a side-glance, then looked back at Marina's terrifying visage.

"Yes dear/Yes ma'am."

It would have been the end of it; but Varian couldn't resist tinkering with Sinbad's shaving lotion. Suffice to say he would need to grow a brand-new beard after Varian's concoction got done with it. And that streak in Varian's hair? Or rather, had been in Varian's hair? Yeah, he would miss it while it grew back.