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A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover

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Tomcost said:
In random news, a legislator here has just been discovered engaging in sexual acts while on camera during a session at Congress. With an underaged girl, presumably.

I may complain a lot about this country, but hell, it brings some laughs from the sheer absurdity from time to time.
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I don't know what to say... 🤯

At this point, it would almost be a relief to learn that politicians the world over aren't universally terrible people, but have instead been replaced and/or mind controlled by a race of douchenozzle aliens who get their jollies fucking around with the primitives Earthlings. Sure, we'd be screwed, but at least it wouldn't be Humans doing the deed.
 
Goldfish said:
I don't know what to say... 🤯

At this point, it would almost be a relief to learn that politicians the world over aren't universally terrible people, but have instead been replaced and/or mind controlled by a race of douchenozzle aliens who get their jollies fucking around with the primitives Earthlings. Sure, we'd be screwed, but at least it wouldn't be Humans doing the deed.
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On the other side, this was on the zoom call, he was not physically present on the Congress.

Still, the fact that all my family laughed at this speaks more about this country than what happened.

I like your theory, though.
 
Tomcost said:
Because the ashes would pose a memetic hazard. There is a reason we haven't been conquered by anyone yet, despite the fact that we are broke and have no army to speak of.

You are free to tell Merkel if she wants to try. We have pastures! And oil!
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Eh. If I spoke Spanish, I'd give it a shot, but I'd rather wait for an English or German speaking country to deteriorate to the point where I can coup it with a rusty spoon.
 
Goldfish said:
I don't know what to say... 🤯

At this point, it would almost be a relief to learn that politicians the world over aren't universally terrible people, but have instead been replaced and/or mind controlled by a race of douchenozzle aliens who get their jollies fucking around with the primitives Earthlings. Sure, we'd be screwed, but at least it wouldn't be Humans doing the deed.
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That's kind of what the Lizard people conspiracy theory is all about if you look a bit closer. It's not like they're literal lizards, but more like are so removed from reality of 99.99..% of the human population that they might as well be lizard people in the guise of human beings from all their nonsensical shit they put the rest.

And if they do happen to be actual lizards? We can at least sigh in relief with the knowledge that no human can be that stupid, malicious, maliciously stupid, stupidly malicious, Aurane.

Now for real, I feel a bit jealous with the knowledge that some of the shit that goes on ASWAH Planetos is thanks to literal devils/daemons/demons or abominations against reality. And then I realize some of the humans in that place make deals with those kind of creatures and remember they're all really stupid.
 
Azel said:
Eh. If I spoke Spanish, I'd give it a shot, but I'd rather wait for an English or German speaking country to deteriorate to the point where I can coup it with a rusty spoon.
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We'll get back to you in November. You might have to compete for market share with the KGB alumni though.
 
ryuan said:
That's kind of what the Lizard people conspiracy theory is all about if you look a bit closer. It's not like they're literal lizards, but more like are so removed from reality of 99.99..% of the human population that they might as well be lizard people in the guise of human beings from all their nonsensical shit they put the rest.

And if they do happen to be actual lizards? We can at least sigh in relief with the knowledge that no human can be that stupid, malicious, maliciously stupid, stupidly malicious, Aurane.

Now for real, I feel a bit jealous with the knowledge that some of the shit that goes on ASWAH Planetos is thanks to literal devils/daemons/demons or abominations against reality. And then I realize some of the humans in that place make deals with those kind of creatures and remember they're all really stupid.
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Those people make really good fertilizer though.

Which reminds me of the idea to write an omake about the invention of the Guillotine.
 
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Crake said:
We'll get back to you in November. You might have to compete for market share with the KGB alumni though.
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Yeah... no. Thanks, but no. Might as well go to Somalia.
Crake said:
And here I thought transmutation into stone would become the popular execution method. :ogles:
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I'm all for paving the roads with the bodies of our enemies, but they are more useful as raw materials for Gogossos.
 
Crake said:
And here I thought transmutation into stone would become the popular execution method. :ogles:
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Too expensive to hire the right people, and I'm not sure Stony offspring can turn people to stone.

Fun Fact: I was about to write "stone people" but I'm not sure none of his children will awaken and start selling questionable drugs to the population.
 
ryuan said:
Too expensive to hire the right people, and I'm not sure Stony offspring can turn people to stone.

Fun Fact: I was about to write "stone people" but I'm not sure none of his children will awaken and start selling questionable drugs to the population.
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We have a slime for that now, apparently.
 
We need cockatrices! Nothing better than being turned into stone by being pecked by inoffensive lizard chicken

Alternatively, we also have Silver Bells to turn them into silver
 
By the by, changes to turnvote done, @Azel in particular
egoo said:
Marwyn (Wizard 6/Loremaster 10), Vargo (Counterfeit Mage 15), Sari (Bounty Hunter 15), Ashin (Occult Historian 15),
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--assigned to Qohor as a Free Action
egoo said:
[] First 4 days of the month +- rng - attempt the summoning of the Daemon sighted in Sarnor last month.
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-- Minor Action
egoo said:
[] Plane of Water Delegation: Wrap up the necessary permissions to create a Terminus in Amun Kelisk and try to avoid more unnecessary entanglements in the politics of the city.
-[] Do note the personal wants of the local Archmages, on an off chance the Empire might be capable of providing it for either the troves of exotic (for PoW) lore, or general access to unique resources -- This here is not an invite for interlude series, but rather a desire to roll again and see if maybe this time the Archmages there have any desires we can fulfill quickly/easily enough to get them to work for us.
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-- Just on an off chance we do roll well, it's been some time since we asked a few Archmages, mayhaps Hermetia will luck out.

Also, the 3 new Erynies assigned to Sarnor (1; so it's an equal amount of Erynies and Lenjths competing for Undead-kills), and guarding the Snare for the Operation Starfall (2; can't be too careful).
Ofc they also take part in Qohor as a Free Action on their part.

Question:
egoo said:
[] Visit Hellven.
-[] Have a meeting with local Devil commander in guise used during the auction in order to keep the trading permit working.
-[] Attempt more trade for souls-related lore with the owner of the lore sold during the previous auction.
-[] Visit the information broken Undead illithid, bargain for True Names for Mammon's Devils, or those who'd know said names.
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Do we care enough for any of these to bother?

Question 2:
@Crake, ya still opposed to us buying out the entire library of lore of that book-keeper on PoE?
1.5kk IM, but DP keeps claiming the Knowledge bonuses apparently matter for... something.
 
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Vote closed.
Adhoc vote count started by DragonParadox on Sep 25, 2020 at 9:25 AM, finished with 80 posts and 13 votes.
  • [X] Plan Information Gathering
    -[X] Infiltrate the Slavers
    --[X] Nuri will pose as a wealthy slave trader from "further away", seeking to establish a breeding facility in Qohor or to buy some special specimens for business partners of hers. The implication here being that she is from off-plane or works with the Rakshasa, but she will not divulge any details.
    --[X] With her are her bodyguard (Liomond) and her personal scribe / clerk (Mia). She also keeps a Umbral Stalker around, which, if noticed, will be claimed to be her pet.
    -[X] Infiltrate the Faith
    --[X] Xor and Kira will approach them independently of each other, the former under the guise of a potential convert, the latter as a wandering bard interested in learning more about them.
    --[X] Each of them will be shadowed by Garin, the Minddragon and the two Umral Spies when interacting with the cult for securities sake.
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egoo said:
Do we care enough for any of these to bother?
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But no, seriously, do we?
@everyone?

Hellven has never been what it was supposed to.
We never had a proper epic-length arc to it, like the first foray into the Plane of Fire and the CoB.

The stuff Azel and DP wrote together was a brilliant intro to it, but since then, we only have seen Hellven as something breaking up other ongoing narrative arks.


We can keep doing those loose and mostly insignificant fragmentary MAs on Hellven as they come (rare as they do), and at least not incur mechanical problems on ourselves (like losing trader's pass there).

Ooooor we can drop any ventures there until we have enough goals, or the goal to go for a turn-long task there.

Seriously y'all we have to decide on this, that place is full of plot-hooks we never pick up for one reason or the other, but going there regardless of those big plots just wastes our (screen-)time and interrupts other arks.

Since that is the most reliable method of making discussion happen-
@Azel, @Crake, @Goldfish, @Duesal, @Artemis1992, @BronzeTongue, @TalonofAnathrax, @Tomcost, @One Autumn Leaf, @Takesis
...I am tired of typing tag-by-tag, assume basically @everyone is invited.
Discuss.
 
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egoo said:
Hellven has never been what it was supposed to.
We never had a proper epic-length arc to it, like the first foray into the Plane of Fire and the CoB.

The stuff Azel and DP wrote together was a brilliant intro to it, but since then, we only have seen Hellven as something breaking up other ongoing narrative arks.
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Eh. Hellven is weird because it had a great into (@DragonParadox and @Azel outdid themselves then!) and its worldbuilding is fun. It's also a cool setting for a single-update interlude as long as said interlude doesn't interrupt other narratives. But @egoo is right in saying that the way it's been used has often interrupted other narratives in disappointing ways.
 
egoo said:
But no, seriously, do we?
@everyone?

Hellven has never been what it was supposed to.
We never had a proper epic-length arc to it, like the first foray into the Plane of Fire and the CoB.

The stuff Azel and DP wrote together was a brilliant intro to it, but since then, we only have seen Hellven as something breaking up other ongoing narrative arks.


We can keep doing those loose and mostly insignificant fragmentary MAs on Hellven as they come (rare as they do), and at least not incur mechanical problems on ourselves (like losing trader's pass there).

Ooooor we can drop any ventures there until we have enough goals, or the goal to go for a turn-long task there.

Seriously y'all we have to decide on this, that place is full of plot-hooks we never pick up for one reason or the other, but going there regardless of those big plots just wastes our (screen-)time and interrupts other arks.

Since that is the most reliable method of making discussion happen-
@Azel, @Crake, @Goldfish, @Duesal, @Artemis1992, @BronzeTongue, @TalonofAnathrax, @Tomcost, @One Autumn Leaf, @Takesis
...I am tired of typing tag-by-tag, assume basically @everyone is invited.
Discuss.
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I think it's worth doing IC, just not necessarily deserving of screentime. That Plane of Earth library for example could be handled by an Erinyes on our behalf.
 
egoo said:
But no, seriously, do we?
@everyone?

Hellven has never been what it was supposed to.
We never had a proper epic-length arc to it, like the first foray into the Plane of Fire and the CoB.

The stuff Azel and DP wrote together was a brilliant intro to it, but since then, we only have seen Hellven as something breaking up other ongoing narrative arks.


We can keep doing those loose and mostly insignificant fragmentary MAs on Hellven as they come (rare as they do), and at least not incur mechanical problems on ourselves (like losing trader's pass there).

Ooooor we can drop any ventures there until we have enough goals, or the goal to go for a turn-long task there.

Seriously y'all we have to decide on this, that place is full of plot-hooks we never pick up for one reason or the other, but going there regardless of those big plots just wastes our (screen-)time and interrupts other arks.

Since that is the most reliable method of making discussion happen-
@Azel, @Crake, @Goldfish, @Duesal, @Artemis1992, @BronzeTongue, @TalonofAnathrax, @Tomcost, @One Autumn Leaf, @Takesis
...I am tired of typing tag-by-tag, assume basically @everyone is invited.
Discuss.
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Personally I'm more interested in the other fallen upper Planes, sure Hellven was the one we visited first, but it also to me seem the hardest to have any effect on, outside Heaven's Shore it's a wasteland, and in Heaven's Shore, we can't really change anything much, as the devils are pretty much in control.

So Heaven Shore both seem very hard to effect to me, and that we would need to do it mainly by intrigue, which I'm not that fond of, Elysium and Nirvana on the other hand, seem like places where we can have proper adventures, build alliances, and do some serious recruiting.

Also in Elysium and Nirvana we can kill slavers on sight, whereas in Heaven's Shore we have to walk on eggshells with regards to the slave trade.

I want to liberate an enslaved kingdom of Elysium, or ally with a Nirvanian fortress city, to fuck up the Illithid run slave trade.
 
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