Jello_Raptor
(Confirmed Jelly)
- Location
- Left of Center
Poke, plan writers, add in something where we all about having Naruto be an assistant to the Hokage.
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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
If you think for a moment that Kabuto wouldn't jump at the chance to be involved in something like this we must be thinking of a different character.
That said, yes, the others would help too.
Why don't we introduce tanistry?
- Location
- The state of Paranoia
[x] Action Plan: Disheartening Lack of All-Consuming Horror (Original Character Donut Steel)
Because then Hiashi will kick Asuma's butt, and become Hokage.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
If I can fit it in after any edits I'll see what I can do.
- Location
- Yes.
Why can't we just ask Naruto in some future plan? This seems the sort of thing we'd talk to him about...
Edit: Have I said this before? I feel like I'm having deja vu. Sorry if I'm just repeating myself.
Project Necromancy Megapost
Let's start by describing what we mean by resurrection. Forget images of a burst of golden light as Jiraiya descends bodily from the deva path, what are the minimum requirements?
- Jiraiya exists.
- Jiraiya is lucid.
- Jiraiya is aware of a path we can access.
- Jiraiya is capable of interacting with a path we can access.
So what do we know about the one time resurrection has been performed?
Not a whole lot to go on, except that it totally is. Aren't we glad Hazou has now read the briefing?
- Souls exist. Or else the jutsu did something completely weird and incomprehensible, but it really makes it look like souls exist.
- Returning a soul to a corpse will make the corpse heal. Or the jutsu included an S-rank corpse-repair medical effect.
- Minori thinks it came from the naraka path.
- Well first of all, it's no longer enough to learn high-tier biosealing/mednin. Souls have gotten involved, and that fucks with the biological approach. Now we need to attack the problem spiritually as well.
- Souls are apparently summonable via Demon Kings.
- If we can get our hands on one and bind it to our service (yes I realise what I'm typing right now but Pein's eyeballs did it, so there) then that's a great first step.
- Souls are probably on another path, but might just be uploads living in ChakrAI. Let's assume they're on another path for now.
- That means we need Hazou and Kagome to spec into Dimensional Fuckery so we can open a rift to whatever that path is. On purpose, this time.
- Canon Edo Tensei requires a human sacrifice. We also have previous mechanics where disadvantages lowered TN. If we design such a seal to be horribly inconvenient in terms of requirements, like "You need to do this on the solstice while a thousand people dance around a giant stone obelisk and a priest of the sage makes a hundred animal sacrifices on an obsidian altar." then we should be able to get that TN down to manageable levels.
- That means we need Hazou and Kagome to spec into Dimensional Fuckery so we can open a rift to whatever that path is. On purpose, this time.
- We need a way to locate J's soul.
- Maybe we can do another seal ritual. Or jutsu ritual. Or seal/jutsu ritual. Whatever.
- We need a way to interact with souls, assuming we can't get an enslaved Demon King to do it for us.
- In canon, the Yamanaka are very clear about their possession jutsu moving their soul into the victim's body. Hacking their jutsu to move other people's souls around might be our best shot.
- "Hey Ino, how'd you like to make your clan literally the most important people in Leaf?"
- In canon, the Yamanaka are very clear about their possession jutsu moving their soul into the victim's body. Hacking their jutsu to move other people's souls around might be our best shot.
- Then we need a body for Jiraiya to inhabit. His current one is looking pretty exploded.
- Maybe we can repair it. If we sicc Kabutops and Aunt Sunny on the problem then I doubt we'll have much issue getting the corpse pristine, but that requires giving them a detailed project proposal form and convincing them it can work.
- Does it need to be his body? Can't we just get some cadaver from the hospital for him to possess?
- Tsunade (medical, slugs)
- Kabuto (medical)
- The Yamanaka Clan (souls)
- The Nara Clan (plan optimisation)
- Kei (plan optimisation, pangolins)
- Naruto (hyper-growth-curve legion, nine tails)
- Noburi (medical, toads, VD)
- Kagome (sealing, forbidden lore)
- Hazou (sealing)
- The Hyuuga Clan (byakkugan analysis)
- Orochimaru's Followers (medical, necromancy??)
- The Snakes (Oro's jutsu??)
- the Gouketsu Hospital plan (ready supply of junior mednin and civilian medics)
- Konoha Sealmaster Academia -- a meeting of all Leaf's sealmasters that we really need to start holding conferences for (sealing)
- If we can centralise this then we can start a sealing college to mass-teach apprentices (ready supply of sealnovices)
- Hacker convention? -- same plan (TH)
- Economic Dominance (pay for everything we need)
- others?
- Getting a supportive Hokage.
- Getting enough military superiority that the village feels safe dedicating a non-insignificant chunk of resources to the project.
- Getting the economic weight to fund the project.
- Getting the relevant clans on board (by which I mean "convince them it can work at all, convince them that we're the ones who can make it work, and then give them a cut: your dead will be ressurected too).
- Getting Tsunade on board. She's going to be a major force behind it if we can give her hope.
In order to get this level of support we'll likely need a working prototype. And we need to get there without anywhere near as much support.
- Smaller scope: find a single part of the project (dimensional fuckery?) and get that part working on our first-order resources.
- Smaller scale: resurrect a tiny animal. If this is much easier than a human (might be) then we can use that as a demonstration, and then use second-order resources to scale up to humans.
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- Location
- Kiev, Ukraine
Indeed, we do.
Hey, that's Lightningrod Seal! Called it! Though this one doesn't seem to store electricity.
Ah, its good that he's still alive somewhere. It's easier to find a man, than bring him from the dead.
I'm not crying you're crying!
OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!
You just had to rub it in, didnt'ya? Well, whatever you have in mind, @MadScientist , as long as it brings us closer to necromancing Jiraiya out of his cozy grave, you have my vote.
Until then:
[x] Action Plan: A Copy of the Previous Plan So That We Can Re-Vote It In Explicitly, Avoiding the Ambiguity of the "Continue the Previous Plan" Votes (By the way, Eaglejarl: We (where "we" refers to the set of all people who voted for this plan) hereby commit to vote-in three exciting punching-heavy plans for your next three updates IFF you commit to orchestrating, within the next in-universe month, Team Uplift's acquisition of novel powerful seals that would heavily and directly aid us in the pursuit of resurrection, and which we wouldn't have been able to acquire ordinarily at this point in time; IFF you accept this deal, mention Fifi's conflict with the albino chakra fox in your next update)
- Location
- Kiev, Ukraine
It doesn't matter whether @Noumero is joking if EJ goes along with it
This would be hilarious. Painful, probably, but hilarious.
There may be some rejection effect if we connect soul to the body that belongs to other soul. Also, J's chakra capacity would be significantly lower in any other body except, maybe, Naruto's and Tsunade's. He's like a chakra monster.
Also, for small animals we may put in any soul, since we just need to show it is possible, not find some specific one. Basically skip all the "search the soul" procedure.
Step ONE: Make Hazou fully realize that resurrection is possible and freak out.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
I see no problem. After we win at conquering the EN we might as well conquer Hell.
- Location
- Italy
Worse case scenario, if we get killed trying to do so, we can implement plan "Gladiator", that would roughly be:
-Scream to your killer "I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next"
-Kill say person with the next character
-Whisper to said person, while he lays dying "So it was the next life" and the silently say to him "Hazou is Back".
-Then resurrect Hazou and watch the universe explode from an error.(Or obtain a indestructible Shadow Clone with a different skillset)
Bonus: tell Kagome, watch the reaction, defensive seals on hand are mandatory
- Location
- Kiev, Ukraine
Not in this quest, my lad. I doubt QMs will make resurrected Hazou a puppet for us to play with. They may oppose so fiercely that resurrected!Hazou would be come the New Big Bad for our new character
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Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Indeed. After all, I was...
Not joking!
Or was I?
I totally wasn't (not) not.
What's the difference between a joke and the truth, anyway?
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Jello_Raptor
(Confirmed Jelly)
- Location
- Left of Center
We can, but I'd rather get some feedback on the plan quickly. Right now, esp given that we're in a meeting with a bunh of experts, is a super cheap test.
It's also quite cheap from a word count perspective:
- Consider putting Naruto forward as Hokage's assistant. (7 words)
- Consider putting Naruto forward as Asuma's assistant. (7 words)
- Consider putting Naruto forward as Asuma's executive assistant. (8 words)
- As part of @MMKII's current plan in the "Continue" section:
- Naruto: Should he be Asuma's assistant? (6 words)
@faflec: Basically, I'm trying to get feedback fast in real-time so we an avoid wasting an update on Naruto and Mari chewing us out for having a bad idea. If it's a good idea. we will still need to talk to Naruto about it later, but that's fine and we can put more detail into the plan for that disussion.
- Location
- Yes.
Wouldn't we be doing that (read: getting feedback from Mari et al) in said plan anyway, since we'd be wanting to get in touch with Naruto to talk about other plots, and could put the suggestion in then ? Am a bit confused.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/They
I assume the goal right now is to determine whether or not it would be worth spending any amount of a plan on this, rather than building a plan around the possible scene and then needing contingencies if it's not liked.
(Not advocating or detracting from the idea, just clarifying my understanding of the request)
Ample Accelerate
Gotta stab fast
- Location
- Texas
I hope Ami doesn't hear about us asking if someone can manage her.
- Location
- Yes.
Right, that's the impression I got from it, but my confusion is that we wouldn't have to build the plan around the scene, there are probably way more important things we would be talking about.
Or maybe I have the wrong impression, IDK.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Alright, so: I've read up on Discord discussions, and the bickering about scheduling is becoming an actual issue. One of the reasons behind it is extremely-short-term nature of current plans: everyone wants different things and they all want them done now, and if said things aren't included in any given cycle's winning plan, it feels as if they'll never be done.
Here is a spreadsheet I threw together in an attempt to ameliorate the problem. The intent is to add new tasks the thread is interested in doing to it, move them around as discussion progresses for more efficiency; it'll act as soft and mutable but nevertheless somewhat concrete commitment to doing them.
As it is, properly utilized, it should allow us to schedule everything for this entire in-character week hour-by-hour. I've already added some things from the previous plan, and I invite you to add more.
Here is a spreadsheet I threw together in an attempt to ameliorate the problem. The intent is to add new tasks the thread is interested in doing to it, move them around as discussion progresses for more efficiency; it'll act as soft and mutable but nevertheless somewhat concrete commitment to doing them.
As it is, properly utilized, it should allow us to schedule everything for this entire in-character week hour-by-hour. I've already added some things from the previous plan, and I invite you to add more.
- Location
- Yes.
Awesome. Just to be clear, though, we are planning to talk to Chouza and Asuma as per the plan, right? Because those are scheduled to be on the same day.
Edit: Fuck it, I'm just gonna change it.
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- Location
- Pacific standard
[x] Action Plan: A Copy of the Previous Plan So That We Can Re-Vote It In Explicitly, Avoiding the Ambiguity of the "Continue the Previous Plan" Votes (By the way, Eaglejarl: We (where "we" refers to the set of all people who voted for this plan) hereby commit to vote-in three exciting punching-heavy plans for your next three updates IFF you commit to orchestrating, within the next in-universe month, Team Uplift's acquisition of novel powerful seals that would heavily and directly aid us in the pursuit of resurrection, and which we wouldn't have been able to acquire ordinarily at this point in time; IFF you accept this deal, mention Fifi's conflict with the albino chakra fox in your next update)
