Remove ads

Onmyodo Monogatari (Japanese Heian-era fantasy)

Reader mode
[X] Dawn comes in its turn;
Shimmering fingers of light
Dance on a still pond.
Crimson blooms unfurl on shore.
Joyful hearts greet a new day,
Holding dear fortune's blessing.

[X]: Ask Tsuzura if she has any advice for your meeting at Itsukushima Shrine.
[X]: I spend the next few enjoying the festivities, eating pastries, and trying not to freak out with jitters, then I got Itsukushima shrine, at sunset, to meet who wrote this, and I hand them my poetry in response.

I dunno, is finding out who wrote the poem really important since we'll be meeting them at Itsukushima soon enough anyway? I think enjoying the surprise might be worthwhile.
 
[X] Dawn comes in its turn;
Shimmering fingers of light
Dance on a still pond.
Crimson blooms unfurl on shore.
Joyful hearts greet a new day,
Holding dear fortune's blessing.

[X]: Ask Tsuzura if she has any advice for your meeting at Itsukushima Shrine.
[X]: I go to the Seimei shrine, and ask the priest there for help. He's old, and smart, and perhaps he knows what this all means. He also seems like a kind person, so he probably wants to help me.

I have no Experience with Poetry so this is just blind Guessing. For the other Votes, well I think asking for help can't hurt.
 
Cavalier said:
Dawn comes in its turn;
Shimmering fingers of light
Dance on a still pond.
Crimson blooms unfurl on shore.
Joyful hearts greet a new day,
Holding dear fortune's blessing.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Huh, actually looking at this again, doesn't this poem have a line too many with 5-7-5-7-7-7 instead of 5-7-5-7-7? I suppose it's not a problem if the QM doesn't mind (and I'm certainly not one to complain after having to fix my syllable count), but I figured I may as well point it out.
Dark as Silver said:
I think poetry appreciation here is something of a learned skill, I'm happy giving you a free hand in picking which poem is best.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Yeah, unless there's a difference in themes that's significant enough to change how events will play out, that seems fine to me. We're already getting some leniency on the actual skills after all.
 
Edgedancer said:
Huh, actually looking at this again, doesn't this poem have a line too many with 5-7-5-7-7-7 instead of 5-7-5-7-7? I suppose it's not a problem if the QM doesn't mind (and I'm certainly not one to complain after having to fix my syllable count), but I figured I may as well point it out.

Yeah, unless there's a difference in themes that's significant enough to change how events will play out, that seems fine to me. We're already getting some leniency on the actual skills after all.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

No, you're right. I misread it as two matched 5-7 couplets and a final 7-7 couplet and so miscounted.

So, adjusted poem as follows;

Rays of amber dawn,
alight upon a still pond.
Songbirds praise the sun.
Joyful hearts greet a new day,
Holding dear Fortune's blessing.
 
Last edited:
Dark as Silver said:
I think poetry appreciation here is something of a learned skill, I'm happy giving you a free hand in picking which poem is best.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
The thing is: i don't actually care which poem is best. Poetry is an important part of the heian era, and you chose to play a skilled poet; i want to give you, my players, the chance to engage with that. I encurage you to to vote on it for the same reason. People who don't really care, i wouldn't and couldn't force to vote, but i do want to create a space where people can engage with the poetic aspects if they want, even if they don't feel like they have to skills to judge or write poetry.

Edgedancer said:
Huh, actually looking at this again, doesn't this poem have a line too many with 5-7-5-7-7-7 instead of 5-7-5-7-7? I suppose it's not a problem if the QM doesn't mind (and I'm certainly not one to complain after having to fix my syllable count), but I figured I may as well point it out.

Yeah, unless there's a difference in themes that's significant enough to change how events will play out, that seems fine to me. We're already getting some leniency on the actual skills after all.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

So, technically, yes, it wasn't tanka; there was a line too much. I didn't mention, however, because 5-7-5-7-7-7 is also waka, it's the type called Bussokusekika.

Also, i'm updating in 2-3 hours.
Adhoc vote count started by Magnusth on Mar 10, 2019 at 7:47 PM, finished with 20 posts and 10 votes.
  • [X]: I ask them if they can help identify who wrote the poem, so i can send it to them or go deliver it myself as soon as possible.
    [X]: Ask Tsuzura if she has any advice for your meeting at Itsukushima Shrine.
    [X] Poem one.
    [X] Dawn comes in its turn;
    [X] Rays of amber dawn,
    [X]: I spend the next few enjoying the festivities, eating pastries, and trying not to freak out with jitters, then I got Itsukushima shrine, at sunset, to meet who wrote this, and I hand them my poetry in response.
    [X]: I go to the Seimei shrine, and ask the priest there for help. He's old, and smart, and perhaps he knows what this all means. He also seems like a kind person, so he probably wants to help me.
Click to expand...
 
Remove ads
Update the Seventh
  • Threadmarks
    • Rays of amber dawn,
    alight upon a still pond.
    Songbirds praise the sun.
    Joyful hearts greet a new day,
    Holding dear Fortune's blessing.

    You finish the poem. It is.. Beautiful. Or at least the ladies at court seem to think so, though some of them have pointed critiques as to your penmanship. You sigh, and rewrite it, several times, until the ladies of court deem it 'acceptable.'

    Finally, you turn to your mother. "Now that i have a beautiful poem to reply with," you say "Can you perhaps help me find out who sent me a poem? So that I can deliver my reply, of course."
    The whole room gasps, though you have the distinct feeling that it is exaggerated for effect.

    Your mother sighs, but she still smiles. "Kogitsunemaru, it is most ungentlemanly to try to.." she stops for a moment, then continues "to ferret out the identity of an anonymous poem. Clearly, your" she smiles wryly "friend wants to give you a surprise. Is it not more polite to let her? However, if you wish, I think one of the ladies here could certainly make sure it is delivered to her."

    What is your response?
    [ ]:     I accept, gracefully, and go enjoy the festivities of the festival.
    [ ]: I accept, gracefully, and talk to someone else about this - who? Write in.
    [ ]: I decline - I really want to know! I do everything I can to persuade my mother to help me find out.
    [ ]: I decline, i'd rather give it to them - her? - myself. I go enjoy the festivities.
    [ ]: I decline. I don't think my mother is going to help me find out, so i return home to see if i can ask the hearth god for help. He must know, after all, he was there when it was delivered - he is always there.
    [ ]: I accept but do something else. What? Write in.
    [ ]: I decline but do something else. What? Write in.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • [X]: I decline, i'd rather give it to them - her? - myself. I go enjoy the festivities.

    We'll find out soon enough who the author of the poem is, and it seems like the gallant thing in this case is to present it in person. As such let's just make merry ahead of the meeting; festivals don't come around every day, after all.
     
    [x]: I decline. I don't think my mother is going to help me find out, so i return home to see if i can ask the hearth god for help. He must know, after all, he was there when it was delivered - he is always there.

    (because i want to do some onmyoudo stuff)
     
    [X]: I decline. I don't think my mother is going to help me find out, so i return home to see if i can ask the hearth god for help. He must know, after all, he was there when it was delivered - he is always there.

    Hearth god, hearth god, friendly, household hearth god. In the hearth, in the home, he'll tell me who wrote the poem, look out! Hey there it's hearth god.
     
    Do we still ask Tsuzura for advice, or is that off the table? That's really the only thing I want to do before delivering the poem.
     
    Nevill said:
    Do we still ask Tsuzura for advice, or is that off the table? That's really the only thing I want to do before delivering the poem.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    You can definately still vote for that!

    Nocturnfox said:
    (because i want to do some onmyoudo stuff)
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    There'll be plenty of that, don't worry! i just wanted to make sure you also had a childhood, friends, and possibilities to engage is romance, intrigue, etc.
    Adhoc vote count started by Magnusth on Mar 11, 2019 at 3:48 AM, finished with 14 posts and 10 votes.
    • [X]: I decline, i'd rather give it to them - her? - myself. I go enjoy the festivities.
      [x]: I decline. I don't think my mother is going to help me find out, so i return home to see if i can ask the hearth god for help. He must know, after all, he was there when it was delivered - he is always there.
      [X]: I decline and go ask Tsuzura for advise.
      [X]: I accept, gracefully, and go enjoy the festivities of the festival.
    Click to expand...

    Adhoc vote count started by Magnusth on Mar 12, 2019 at 11:47 AM, finished with 18 posts and 13 votes.
    • [X]: I decline, i'd rather give it to them - her? - myself. I go enjoy the festivities.
      [X]: I accept, gracefully, and go enjoy the festivities of the festival.
      [x]: I decline. I don't think my mother is going to help me find out, so i return home to see if i can ask the hearth god for help. He must know, after all, he was there when it was delivered - he is always there.
      [X]: I decline and go ask Tsuzura for advise.
    Click to expand...
     
    Magnusth said:
    There are plenty of other kids about, many of them not having quite as rigorous regimens as you, and they play. When you can, you often go join them, and usually Jun-dono allows you to do so, if you've finished your work, but not when you are reciting and learning sutras.
    The kids around you include your sister, but only for the first year, and then she is introduced at court, and the rules for her change.
    Beyond her, you see Junpei, Aiko, Tomiko and Toichi. Junpei is a young boy, a year older than you, and somewhat gruff, but he does seem to like you; he's always trying to offer you 'advice' because he's older, but most of his advice isn't very good. His sister, Aiko, is just a kind and smiling girl, about your age. She always wants to play games she can win, particularly kemari, a ball-game popular at court.
    Tomiko and Tochi are other children of courtiers. Tomiko is a another girl around Aiko's age, but more shy. She does like your poetry, though, as sometimes even listens in when you're composing it. Tochi is a bit younger than you three, and somewhat annoying, but he is the child of another important lady in waiting, so you have to play with him. Now and then, when you can, you sneak of from the rest, and find Tsuzura to play with, and she always appreciates your company.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    Essentially, the main candidates of who might be that person are mentioned here.

    A) Own sister? Please, not be it. This would be awkward.
    B) Aiko? Probably.
    C) Tomiko? Can be. I'd say there is a high probability it's her.
    D) Tsuzura? It wouldn't be very logical for a spirit to write poetry and use courtiers as a delivery service, so nope.
    E) Someone unmentioned? Can be, although I don't see a point for them sending poetry to generic court kids with whom they don't even have any rapport, unless...
    F) Kidnap and ransom? I doubt that QM is vicious enough to pull this.
     
    [X]: I accept, gracefully, and go enjoy the festivities of the festival.

    Reasoning: we do not accept collective help and refuse to comply with their sense of decorum at the same time; this would give our mother a hard time at the court (you do remember that we are a part of the clan, right? Let us not be egoistical)
     
    Teloch said:
    Essentially, the main candidates of who might be that person are mentioned here.
    A) Own sister? Please, not be it. This would be awkward.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    I am going to spoil that you did not get the probably-romantic poetic date invitation from your sister, on account of eww, no.
    Adhoc vote count started by Magnusth on Mar 11, 2019 at 10:25 AM, finished with 16 posts and 11 votes.
    • [X]: I decline, i'd rather give it to them - her? - myself. I go enjoy the festivities.
      [x]: I decline. I don't think my mother is going to help me find out, so i return home to see if i can ask the hearth god for help. He must know, after all, he was there when it was delivered - he is always there.
      [X]: I decline and go ask Tsuzura for advise.
      [X]: I accept, gracefully, and go enjoy the festivities of the festival.
    Click to expand...

    Adhoc vote count started by Magnusth on Mar 11, 2019 at 4:15 PM, finished with 18 posts and 13 votes.
    • [X]: I decline, i'd rather give it to them - her? - myself. I go enjoy the festivities.
      [X]: I accept, gracefully, and go enjoy the festivities of the festival.
      [x]: I decline. I don't think my mother is going to help me find out, so i return home to see if i can ask the hearth god for help. He must know, after all, he was there when it was delivered - he is always there.
      [X]: I decline and go ask Tsuzura for advise.
    Click to expand...
     
    Reader mode
    You must login or register to reply here.
    Remove ads
    Back
    Top