The Fourth Holy Grail War (Heavy AU) (CRACKY)

A/N: Hello, this is my first quest! if I do something wrong, please tell me! thank you!

Anyways here's the summary of the quest!

Three Magical Families, the Einzberns, the Matous, and the Toshakas all came together to make the holy grail war, a way to make access a path to the Root, now however what changed is that they realized that some people are not gonna make such noble wishes and may use the grail for more..destructive and eviler wishes, so they inputed five souls, three who are members of each founding families, a highly respected mage from the Mage's Association, and a member of the Church, they are the guardians and spirits of the Holy Grail, and now, in the fourth Holy Grail War, majority of the masters who entered the war are jerks, evil, or evil jerks, soo how do you fit in?

Well..Your assigned by the Guardians of the Holy Grail, to go out and kill or fight all the evil masters so that the Holy Grail won't be used for evil or destructive purposes.

So...Who are you?

[]-The Counter Guardian Emiya- The Guardians has asked help from Alaya the Counter-Force to help stop the evil masters, due to the masters' wishes possibility to cause Extinction-level event, Alaya agreed and sent her favorite lacky Shi-Emiya!

[]-The Homunculus-???- due to the presence of evil masters, the Founding Families have temporarily formed (actually they made so many alliances that generally this alliance is standard now) to kill off the other masters before fighting themselves, the Einzberns has given off an homunculus to be the one to help kill of the other servants.

[]-The Imperfect Vessel & The Mage Killer-Irisivel & Kirigitsu- or they just pick the ones they know work best.

[]-The Tsundere girl-Ko-Rin- Because of stuff (AKA the grail had a bit of a messup) Kid Rin is now a master.

[]-something something-???- soo...you want someone else? okay, go say who then.

that's for now! after you pick, I'll write what happens and also post the servant option, bye now!

[X]-The Imperfect Vessel & The Mage Killer- Irisivel and Kirigitsu

Kirigitsu and Irisivel were waiting in the castle hall, They were talking to an old man.
"Now, since you two will be our family's representatives for the Holy Grail War, I want you both to stay and wait for the other families' representatives"

"affirmative" said Kirigitsu and Irisivel. behind them the large door was opened by two homunculi with three people came out.

One was:
[]- An sickly man (Kariya Matou)
[]- an old and wrinkled man, who looked more dead than alive (Zouken)
[]- a blue-haired woman (Zouken)
[]- a blue-haired man (Zouken)

They introduced themselves "I am _______ and I'm the master representing the Matou Family".

And the other two was a young man wearing a black garb and a little girl wearing a white blouse with a red tie and a red skirt.

"I assume you must be the Toshaka's master representative?" asked Irsivel to the young man.

"Oh no, she is," at that, the little girl showed her command seals.

"You're kidding right?" said Kirigitsu

"I'm afraid not, it seems the grail had a bit of mix-up, so that's why she's here" said the young man

"Heya! the Name's Rin! and this grumpy man is Kirei" said Rin happily.

"hello, I am Kirei Kotomine, and I am here as the guardian of this little brat"

"and I'm the ma- WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN YOU JERK!" Rin glared at Kirei

"it means that you're an insufferable brat, simple as that" They started glaring at each other so much, that sparks emitted between them

While they were arguing, Irisivel walked towards Rin and patted her head "well aren't you the cutest?" Rin reddened at the gesture and was a bit confused on what to do, Kirei secretly smirked at the event.

"Ahem" Everyone looked towards the old man "As you know, I am Jubstacheit von Einzbern, head of the Einzbern family, as you know the Holy Grail War is an event where seven masters summon figures from history of man to battle for the holy grail, however, due to...well the events before and now, it is now a custom for the founding families to form a temporary alliance to ki-" he looked at Rin "to apprehend the other masters before continuing the war with only us, I will now allow Ms. Justeaze to explain the rest".
A heavenly woman who looked like Irisivel walked forward "Hello everyone, as you know, I am Justeaze Lizrich von Einzbern, one of the guardians of the grail, and I am here to facilitate the summoning of the servants"

A ritual circle appeared before each master "you may do the summoning now"

Everyone prepared their catalyst and started intiating the chant
"
Let silver and steel be the essence.
Let stone and the archduke of contracts be the foundation
Let rise a wall against the wind that shall fall
Let the four cardinal gates close.
Let the three-forked road from the crown reaching unto the Kingdom rotate.
I hereby declare.
Your body shall serve under me.
My fate shall be your sword.
Submit to the beckoning of the Holy Grail
If you will submit to this will and this reason…Then answer!
An oath shall be sworn here!
I shall attain all virtues of all of Heaven.
I shall have dominion over all evils of all of Hell!"
The master who summoned a berserker also added an extra line.
Yet, though serves with thine eyes clouded in chaos
Thou, bound in the cage of madness.
I am he who command these chaos

From the Seventh Heaven, attended to by three greet words of power,
Come forth from the ring of restraints,
Protector of the Holy Balance!

A bright light filled the room, when the light died down, Irisivel and Kirigitsu looked at their servant
[]- I am the servant archer, the nameless, I ask of you, are you my master? (Emiya)
[]-I am of the class Saber, I ask of you, are you my master? (Baeber)
[]- Hrmph, let's make it quick, servant assassin, are you my master? (Emiya Assassin)
[]- Hiya! Servant Caster, at your service! (Illya)
[]-RAGHHHHHHHHHH!! (Hercules)
[]-something else

Irisivel looked at the servant of the Matou master.
[]-ARTHUUUUUUUUUUUUR!!! (Lancelot)
[]-We are the many yet one, servant assassin at your service (Hassan of the Hundred Faces)
[]-RAGHHHHH HUSBAAND! (Frankenstein)
[]-I am of the rider class, are you master? (Medusa)
[]-something else
Kirgitsu looked at rin's servant.
[]-...I am of the servant archer, the nameless, you must be my master I presume? (Emiya)
[]-Heyo! I'm gilgamesh! nice to meet ya! (Ko-Gil)
[]- hmm..this is interesting, the goddess Ishtar, at your service (Ishtar)
[]-Servant Saber, at your service!, are you my master? (Mordred)
[]-something else

Do you wish to ask questions? would you like to help develop the quest? do you want to just poke me for updates?

*Dumps Link* here you go!

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