If you were to pinpoint exactly when your life went to hell, it'd probably be the day you were born. Come now no need to be so melodramatic!
Okay so maybe it wasn't that early, but you still think that God must've messed up somewhere when he was giving you your stats. Either that, or he decided to give you the worst possible luck for shits and giggles. That would explain the situation you're currently in, certain death in the form of an asshole who decides to murder other assholes to prove he's the asshole to rein supreme over all the assholes in existence. You figure he's probably got some reason for murdering assholes, but you tuned out after he began his ten-minute-long monologue.
All you could remember about it was something something, take over your body, blah blah, insert world domination scheme here followed by cliché anime villain laugh number 101. Hey, haven't we seen this before?
Why yes we have voice in our head! It's a scene seen in numerous manga's, comics, etc. All you gotta do is copy and paste an idea that's already been done to death in other works, potentially turn them into a walking, talking, pile of garbage, throw in a hint of rape, and presto! You've got yourself a third rate villain who either die a horrible death offscreen, get defeated by the power of friendship/love/teamwork, or join our lovely cast of multicolored heroes as they go on to defeat the true mastermind behind the true mastermind, their snarky attitude will present a lovely contrast to our wide eyed idealistic hero! By the way, you totally lied back there, didn't you?
Of course, to trick yourself you need to trick your enemies after all! You see your first birth wasn't the source of all your troubles and woes. You were a young person, fresh off the boat from New Jersey, after taking care of your latest target you decided to unwind a little bit and catch up on that new Pokémon Go craze, though you weren't sure if it would help you go to the polls.
After settling an argument over who would get the Pikachu that had shown up, the men politely fell unconscious after their teeth had been kicked in, you chased the little bugger all the way down an alley. Then you were falling, and falling, luckily the concrete down below broke your fall! And your neck, and possibly all your bones, but not your phone, you were so glad you wasted your money on that phone case!
But that wasn't exactly what killed you, usually you'd be able to pull yourself together after times like those. But then a sewer gator showed up and tore you from the concrete into the water, and then the two of you got swept up in currents, and then you ended up getting shredded to pieces by the water treatment plant, and then the chemicals burned anything that was left, culminating in a terrorist blowing up the plant and killing everything in a five-block radius, ah those were good times.
Then you remember hands grabbing you from the sweet blackness of death and yank you into cold air, you ended up crying a lot, and your(new)father wept manly tears as he ended up losing a bet to your(new)mother who wept tears of joy after winning the bet/giving birth, and the doctor wept tears of anger after you pissed all over his face.
Soon after that you were wrapped in a bundle of pink blankets, handed off to your parents by the disgruntled doctor, given your name, and then off the three of you went. Through all of that you had to ask yourself
Who the hell names their kid Sakura?
So, hello this Sakura Quest number 1,000,000 which'll probably increase in the time it takes me to finish my sentence. So, during each year you'll get a handful of things to do which may or may not increase your stats/relationships with other characters.
During your first year of birth you…
[] Rolled around, what the hell are you supposed to do, you're a baby
[] Tried to figure out what that green stuff is-its kind of freaking you out
[] Cried nonstop
[] Tried to walk early, proper bone growth-what's that have to do with anything?!
[] Get Lucky(potential random event)
On your birthday you…
[] Prayed to God to get you out of this nightmare
[]Stuffed your face in cake
[] Experimented a bit more with the green stuff-it seems cool
[] Tried to walk-I can do it this time dammit!
[] Get Lucky(potential random event)
Age: less than a month
HP: 1/1
Stats
Luck: O-oh God I-I can't even…(-10)
Strength: Fear me you pitiful ants!(1)
Dexterity: Meh…(1)
Endurance: A flick to my(large) forehead and I'm done…(1)
Intelligence- I've always been above average (6)
Spirit- Er what? (3)
Control- No seriously, what? (3)
Adhoc vote count started by RedAlert on Jun 9, 2018 at 12:52 PM, finished with 6 posts and 6 votes.
[X] Tried to figure out what that green stuff is-its kind of freaking you out
[X] Tried to figure out what that green stuff is-its kind of freaking you out
[X] Get Lucky(potential random event)
I guess green stuff is for int, and walking i for endurance/dex/strength etc. I want to try and play Sakura to her strengths and move towards Genjustu and finesse ninjutsu.
And so here you lay, stuck in a tiny crib in your new room. Your new bright garish pink room, Goddamnit! If it were it were red you might've been able to tolerate your new living quarters, but everything was pink! Your room, your blankets, your shades, and you wouldn't even begin to look at your own hair. While you sat in your crib agonizing about the unfairness of the whole situation, a flash of color appeared on the edge of your peripheral vision.
Ecstatic for the first signs of something other then pink you watched the green thing bob around the top of your ceiling. Then your mother came in a few moments later and picked you up from your crib, and you noticed that the green stuff was all around her as well.
"Okay Sakura," Your mother had said while bundling you up in a pink(blegh)sweater and a pair of blue jeans, plopping pink socks and shoes for better measure. "We're going out to the park!" Yay the park, your favorite place too be-not. On one hand you'd get away from the pink hell you found yourself in, on the other it was obviously way too cold to go outside and staying in where it was warm, and cozy seemed as just a better option than any, you tried to tell your mother about the wonders of staying indoors but all that came out was baby gibberish, damn.
Once your mother had strapped you into your stroller off the two of you went, to broaden your horizons by about two city blocks! Or maybe it was two and half, you really couldn't tell given that everything seemed huge to you. You also couldn't help but notice the green stuff follow you, clinging to the leaves that were falling off the trees in patches of red, yellow, and orange. It kind of freaked you out a little, but you held back your whimpers. You were a 20-year-old adult damnit, you've faced things worse than a stupid green…thingy.
To show the green thing who's boss you decided to reach up and grab it by the horns...only for it to slip out of your grasp like a bar of soap. Well this wouldn't do, you huffed to yourself as you reached out your pudgy hands and yanked the green stuff down to your chest. See that wasn't so hard…whoa is it getting dark or is it just yo-
Blinking the darkness from your eyes you find yourself lying on a hospital bed, your parents look at you worryingly as a doctor with silver hair walks into the room. He looks down at his clipboard, fiddling around with his glasses as he begins to speak.
"It seems that your daughter is suffering from chakra exhaustion," He says. "She stretched her coils out prematurely, though luckily there isn't any major damage."
That was stupid of you by the way
You perk your head up, someone talking to you. It wasn't the doctor, he was busy looking over his clipboard, your parents were talking in hushed tones as they sat on chairs besides your bed.
In here moron
Ah so you had a voice in your head again, how neat.
Wait what do you mean "again" does this happen often?
Meh I had a voice before in past life, well I had two but the other one was a complete and utter jerk.
…What?
So, I guess you're my conscious, I'm not going to have to kill you in some over the top anime battle or something?
Why would you want to kill me, I'm you!
Shh! The grownups are talking!
The doctor then looks up from his clipboard and asks your parents, "Was she doing anything that seemed unusual that could potentially cause this?" He says. "Or was it just something that happened out of the blue?"
Her mother sighs, "She was raising her hands up to the sky for some reason," She says, "I didn't really think any of it…but I should've been paying closer attention."
"She was raising her hands to the sky?"
You don't really like the glint in the doctor's eyes. It kind of reminds you about another doctor you had met in your past life, what was his name again? You remember it served as great bait for you to rile him up with, so his name must've been something really embarrassing…
Your father also seems to be uncomfortable as he turns to the doctor, "Well if that's all can we go now?" He asks. The doctor stops staring at you and gives your father one of his best smiles.
"Yes you can leave although…" He rumbles around his pocket and pulls out a card, and you suddenly realize you can just barely read the weird scribbles written on the card, high school Japanese really did count for something after all!
"I would like to run a few follow-up tests on your daughter, just to be sure that everything's all right."
"How about you come in on the 28th of March?"
And so, you ended up spending your first birthday in the hospital. On the plus side you got cake!
So then what exactly did you do for your second year of birth?
[] I'm kind of curious, what happens if I yank the green stuff that's on other things?
[] Bit down on a bunch of stuff, who needs teeth rings?
[] Tried to walk
[] Talked with "myself"
[] Experimented with the green stuff by itself
On your third birthday you
[] Went to the playground, staying in a hospital is boring
[] Asked your doctor about as much stuff you could possibly think of
[] Read as much about the world you were in-even if it mean reading children's books.
Adhoc vote count started by RedAlert on Jun 15, 2018 at 4:23 PM, finished with 5 posts and 5 votes.
[x] Talked with "myself"
[x] Asked your doctor about as much stuff you could possibly think of