Fate/Off the Rails (and onto hiatus again)

OOC: Sorry about this but this update will be very dialogue heavy. Hope you guys are okay with this.

[X] Talk to Shirou and Lancer. The guy's trying to be as helpful as he can be, time to cut him some slack. Hey maybe I can even open his Magic Circuits for him. Also Lancer, she seemed pissed

I came down from the attic and through the long hallways of the Emiya Residence. I have to say this place is quite nice for a teenager to live in, where does one get a small Japanese style mansion?

After some searching I finally found Shirou's bedroom door when I felt a build up of energy on the other side. I gave a sigh as I slide open the door. I was met with a spear made of shadows, pointed straight at my face. "Go away."

"Come one Lancer you can't be that mad-"

"Go. Away." She towered right over me, purple eyes glowing behind her mask as her Fear Inducement was switched on. I had to force every muscle in my body not to move in the sight of the angry spear wielding bow women in front of me.

"C-Come on Lancer, stop that she was just trying to help." A voice called out from behind.

Lancer froze as soon as she heard his voice. Dropping her aura of dread and dismissing her spear from sight, she turned towards Shirou. "But Shirou! She sold you out! Pull you right under the rug!"

"Lancer, you're making it seem like a bigger deal then it is." Shirou was in his futon, his top half naked showing a bunch of gauze wrapped around his muscular body... Is it possible for teenagers to have bodies that ripped?

"It is a big deal!" Lancer threw her arms up. "I don't know why you're perfectly okay with this, going on a date with a girl who tried to kill you, twice." She thought to herself for a while. "Why are you?"

"Well..." He scratched the back of his head. "Well, she called me brother and well... I kinda want to know why."

"You sure she isn't doing that just to mess with you?"

"No, no. I don't think so, she doesn't seem like the person to do such thing."

"Shirou I hate to break it to you but this is the same girl who was laughing with murderous glee as she commanded her servant to rip and tear." Even with the mask on I could tell she was giving him a blank stare.

"I know it sounds dumb but... Well she helped us out, it's only fair that we repay her." I could hear a pout from Lancer. "Besides, I kinda want to understand her."

"You want to know why she's trying to kill you huh?" She sighed.

"Well..." I interrupted. "It's not everyday someone crashes both your house and school riding on top of a knight from Medieval Europe, calling you brother and attempting to commit fratricide."

"That's... Pretty accurate." Shirou replied.

Lancer gave another sigh. "I guess I can share you with the pixie..."

"Eh? Share me?"

"Uh... Nothing... Just Nothing... So, Assassin, what are you here for?"

"Oh nothing. Just wanted to check on you two... Well Shirou specifically," I looked straight at him. "Tell me Shirou, how much prana are you giving Lancer?"

He looked away. "Little to nothing according to Lancer."

"That's the problem Shirou. You're giving her squat when it comes to providing here an anchor to the world." I gave him a beaming smile. "Good thing for you, I got a present!"

"A... Present?" He looked at me with a confused look.

"I'm gonna open your Magic Circuits!"

"Open?" He tilted his head. "I uh... I thought you guys kinda... Just make them?"

"Make what now?" I asked in confusion.

"Well... I think it's because I'm not that good of a magus but what I always did was that I made one of my nerves into a magic circuit."

"The what now."

"I make my nerves into magic circuits?"

I stared at him. I stared at him some more. I stared so hard that I'd risk burning a hole through his dumb suicidal face. "Oh Hades what kinda idiot am I working with here."

"Eh?" He was starting to sweat.

"Uh... Shirou. I may have a poor education in magecraft," Lancer interjected. "But even I know that you don't make make new magic circuits."

"Eh!?"

"Shirou," I said in a calm, collected voice. "What you did was the equivalent of ripping out your own nervous system, one nerve at a time. I have no clue how you're not a cripple and for the moment I'm very happy that you aren't but by the gods what you did was fucking stupid."

"But the good news is that he's not a cripple!" Lancer beamed at us, or at least tried to. "Right?"

"Well, good thing I'm here," I said as I walked towards Shirou before kneeling by his side. Before I did my work, I turned my gaze to Lancer.

"What are you looking at me for... Oh! You're asking permission," Lancer nodded to herself. "Well, if you do anything funny I'll cut your head off, 'kay?"

"Got that," I gave a thumbs up. Looks like she's cooling down a bit... Is it me or does thinking that a threat to cut my head off my shoulders in a cheerful tone to mean that she's warming up to me seem a little off? Eh, I'll just push it to the back of my head for later.

"Glad you understand," she beamed at me.

I looked towards Shirou. I concentrated as I placed my hand on him arm. "Hmmm... Seems like you have 27 unopened magic circuits in there... Yup, it's gonna be painful."

"What's painful?" He looked at me with a worried expression.

"Opening them of course. It's kinda like using a muscle you haven't used for years, it's all stiff and painful to use," I explained. "Just a heads up really."

"Well if a little pain is all that's needed, I'm all up for it."

"You seem pretty casual about this," I pointed out.

"Hey. I just faced down an army of zombies," he gave a smile. "What's a little more pain gotta do?"

I looked at Lancer. She shrugged. "Okay then..." I floated over to his back where I placed my hand just below his neck. "Here goes nothing. Lancer, I think you might want to hold him a bit." She nodded, kneeling beside him.

I sent prana into him, like cleaning a pipe clogged with mud by forcing water through it, I forced open his circuits by flooding it with prana. He responded with a lurch. He was sweating hard, in clear pain as Lancer held him, gripping his hand. I could hear him grit his teeth, clutching his blanket so hard that he's at risk of tearing it to pieces. Then in a moment, the pain was gone. He was panting, drenched in sweat. "Is it over?"

"For now at least," I said at last. "We'll check how well you can use your magic circuits after you get some rest. For the moment though; Lancer, you getting any prana from this guy?"

"Yeah... I am..." I couldn't help but feel like she's frowning underneath. "It's a small stream though. Kinda underwealming."

"That's to be expected. Shirou has about 27 magic circuits but they're all at a low quality, not sure why though. Still, it's better than nothing," I cocked my head at him. "By the way, I couldn't help but notice that there's something inside of you. I have no clue what it is but..."

Shirou doubled over. Holding his arms around his stomach.

"Shirou?! What's happening?!" I touched him again. "Oh Hades you got to be kidding me," I looked at Lancer. "I need the first aid kit! Also some painkillers if you can find some! Oh and grab my kit from the attic, I need that too."

"If anything happens to him, it's all on your head Assassin," despite her threat, she sounded more worried than angry as she ran out the door.

"Okay, Shirou. Just stay calm," I said as I took out my tome. "Come on, come on... There. Καλμάρω."

He started to breath more easily but he was still in clear pain. Lancer came back a few moments later, a first aid kit under one arm and my potion set under the other. "Good, now just set them here and we can get to work."

"I placed all the painkillers I can find in the first aid kit."

"Thanks," I took out a strip of gauze and a bunch of substances from my kit as I skimmed the pages of my tome. "Okay... This goes here... Mix with that... Drench for about 10 seconds..." I produced a strip of cotton dyed in deep green. "Here Shirou. I made this on the spot with some eh... Improvisations. Also yes it does smell like someone left the dead corpse of a road kill accident in a toilet with broken plumbing, deal with it." I took off the gauze that was previously wrapped around his rock hard abs (what? Can't a witch compliment a guy?) and replaced it with the new deep green tinted gauze.

"Oh god that smells bad," he held back his stomach. "How long do I have to wear this?"

"Until you stop being in pain."

I guess Lancer running around made a bit of a ruckus as our little group started to pool into his room. It was Rin who came in first, "Assassin? I saw Lancer running around and... Ugh just what is that smell?!"

"Medicine."

"Assassin? What're you doing to Emiya?"

"No time, get out. Doctor Assassin is doing her thing."

"Oh just what is that- Assassin? Is there something wrong with Mister-"

"Get out."

"Hey, why's everyone gathering at big brother's room?"

"Assassin's trying to heal Emiya... What she's healing him for, I'm not sure."

"You guys aren't going to leave aren't you?" I said without looking back. "Fine, you can stay. I needed to explain Shirou's condition to everyone anyway."

I finished up wrapping around the gauze as I levitated a few painkillers. "Dang it, forgot the cup of water. Can anyone grab one for me?"

A moment later, Lancer came back with a cup of water. "Thanks. Here, Shirou, take these pills. Nothing magical about them but they'll ease the pain a bit. Same with the special coating."

Rin sat beside me. "Assassin? What's wrong with Shirou?"

I sighed. "Well. Please try not to kill him but before I opened his magic circuits. He's... Well... He had been turning his nerves into makeshift magic circuits."

"OHOHOHOHO!" We all turned our attention to Luvia as she doubled over in hysterical laughter. "OHOHOHOHOhoho... Oh... Please do excuse me but you can't possibly think that I would believe that right? I mean, it so utterly stupid that the only way anyone would do it is because they both have a death wish AND have the brain of a goldfish... Hey, why are you all staring at me like that?"

I gave her the best death glare I could from underneath my hood while Shirou gave her a serious expression. Lancer just tilted her head at the Finnish girl as if to say 'Really?'

"You... You're all serious, aren't you?"

"Yup."

"Shirou..." Rin had a small cold smile on her face. "Just what kind of training did you receive?"

"Well... My dad only gave me the basics."

"We know that. You said so on the trip to the cave..."

"I did, but well... I didn't quite understand some of them. He didn't really seem to care about my training."

"So basically he half assed it," we all turned to the sight of the red knight peeking from the door along with Archer who was just watching us. "What? It's pretty accurate from where I'm standing."

"Well... I guess it accurate?" Shirou shrugged.

"Anyways. Because of that particular venture, upon opening his ACTUAL magic circuits his nervous system reacted violently as they never had this much prana before. At least, that's what I think it is," I shrugged. "Anyways, you're not going anywhere. For three days at least." Out of the corner of my eye I saw Illya leaving the room quietly but I ignored that.

"Well... I needed the rest anyways," he gave a small laugh.

"Indeed you do," Lancer sat beside him. "Don't worry, I'll make sure all your chores gets done. I'll set up breakfast, lunch, dinner... "

"Lancer."

"...feed you, clean you..."

"Lancer."

"...wash the laundry, maintain the courtyard, kill anyone who gets in your way..."

"Lancer!"

"Eh?! Shirou?!"

He sighed, "I appreciate the help but you don't have to do that much for me."

"Oh well... I guess I did get a bit carried away..." She shied away form Shirou.

From behind my back, I heard Rin and Luvia whispering to each other, "what with this servant? No matter what she does I just can't get a handle on her."

"I don't know either Miss Tohska. Her lovey dovey attitude combine with murderous intent once made me thought that she was Brynhildr but I don't recall any part of that myth having a spear that can turn into a bow..."

"Well... Maybe we shouldn't talk about her while we're in her general vicinity," Rin motioned with her eyes. Looking at where she was motioning to, she saw that Lancer was staring at them.

"Well... I believe it's time to excuse ourselves from your room."

"Yeah, we'll just leave you Emiya. Talk with you tomorrow." They both left as fast and politely as possible.

"Well... I guess I'll be leaving too," but before that, one last talk with Lancer for the day. "He'll need a new concoction each day so expect me to come by at noon. Also give him painkillers before he sleeps, it'll help make sleep easier for him. Otherwise, call me if his arms start exploding or something," I levitated my kit to me. "My work here is done. Farewell!" With a bit of magical special effects I disappeared in an ominous purple cloud. I didn't teleport or anything I just entered my invisibility as I floated over to the attic.

"Well now that's covered. What should I do?"

[] Seems like Luvia and Rin are chatting with each other. Maybe I should go and make sure they don't kill each other...

[] Illya seemed to have left on a whim. Why is that?

[] Let's check up on the other servants. Wonder what they're up to?

[] Go to sleep

"What was that last part all about Lancer?"

"Eh, I think she just wanted to be showy."