- Location
- Leeds
Would be helpful, all I've got here are basically explosion puns:
"You like to kick things off with a bang."
"What an explosive entrances." <- Weak.
The Spectacular Golden Goblin
- Thread starter HoratioVonBecker
- Start date
- Superhero
"You like to kick things off with a bang."
"What an explosive entrances." <- Weak.
Quip Thoughts
HoratioVonBecker
Imperfectly Aligned
This is largely to get my own thoughts in order, but I'm posting it publicly in case someone finds it helpful.
Quips are one of the shortest - and commonly densest - artforms. They draw from the observer, the situation, and often the language and culture, because that's how to communicate a lot of meaning very quickly.
Méibh is a hero, and one with a lot of vicarious experience with superheroes, antiheroes, supervillains, and even civilians, in many different contexts. There's room to define her within that, but she's good at empathy.
She's also a tinker, a witch, a banshee, and a Goblin. This implies both doctor energy and gremlin energy.
And finally, she's happy. Her life might not be any easier than a typical spider-person, but she likes how she lives it.
EDIT:
Quips are one of the shortest - and commonly densest - artforms. They draw from the observer, the situation, and often the language and culture, because that's how to communicate a lot of meaning very quickly.
Méibh is a hero, and one with a lot of vicarious experience with superheroes, antiheroes, supervillains, and even civilians, in many different contexts. There's room to define her within that, but she's good at empathy.
She's also a tinker, a witch, a banshee, and a Goblin. This implies both doctor energy and gremlin energy.
And finally, she's happy. Her life might not be any easier than a typical spider-person, but she likes how she lives it.
Writing is about sharing your takes on things. Good writing shares your takes efficiently.
Efficient communication is comprehensible, trustworthy, and brief, in that order.
Comprehensibility comes from shared background knowledge, plus sufficient processing capacity. Target audience helps.
Trustworthiness comes from benevolence and understanding-of-subject. Kindness helps. Epistemic clarity helps.
Brevity comes from shorthand, which comes from familiarity. Target audience helps.
Humor and creepiness both rely on mixing benign and wrong. With the former, safety dominates; with the latter, wrongness does. Doing either well requires a good understanding of your audience, which makes that a very fast way to build trust. The risks are significant, however.
Efficient communication is comprehensible, trustworthy, and brief, in that order.
Comprehensibility comes from shared background knowledge, plus sufficient processing capacity. Target audience helps.
Trustworthiness comes from benevolence and understanding-of-subject. Kindness helps. Epistemic clarity helps.
Brevity comes from shorthand, which comes from familiarity. Target audience helps.
Humor and creepiness both rely on mixing benign and wrong. With the former, safety dominates; with the latter, wrongness does. Doing either well requires a good understanding of your audience, which makes that a very fast way to build trust. The risks are significant, however.
I think you're on to something, actually!
EDIT:
Oh, whoops - missed this. I meant quip in the comicbook sense, rather than the action hero sense. (For clarity, that's "as running commentary" rather than "to punctuate victory". Comics tend to use a lot of dialogue in their fight scenes, because words are generally more efficient than art.)
Last edited:
- Location
- Leeds
We also have our own grenades so thats an angle too I guess.
Theres also,
E: wait you had one of those already.
[X] Sirocco
The laugh should total the other vans too. What a wonderful attack lol
The laugh should total the other vans too. What a wonderful attack lol
HoratioVonBecker
Imperfectly Aligned
Only if the other vans are in range! Also, glass is expensive you know.
Vote will be closing within the week.
Sirrocco
Pedantic
But... it's kind of hard to quip midbattle while you're goblin-laughing?
HoratioVonBecker
Imperfectly Aligned
Only if you do it constantly, which I didn't expect you to? Doylist, that's because it's harder to think up opponents with interesting tactical depth if the laugh becomes a core-loop setpiece rather than a tool in your arsenal. Watsonian, reasons will vary enough that you can have a fight where you laugh constantly every now and then.
As such, I may need to update the vote again. Your plan as I interpreted it was to try breaking her faceplate via laughter and melee, at which point I'd call the fight over and move on to your next priority.
That said, you still have room to open dialogue - and every minute their 'operator' is on the line with you, that's one line they have occupied. It might also be a valuable thing to deal with?
Sirrocco
Pedantic
Eh? It's good enough as-is. If the laughter mostly comes in bursts, rather than being continuous, that's fine. My plan was basically to take her down via laughter and melee, probably breaking the facemask as part of the process.
HoratioVonBecker
Imperfectly Aligned
Any particular questions you want to ask?
HoratioVonBecker
Imperfectly Aligned
Vote's closed as of last weekend. Sorry for getting distracted, all.
It May Come As A Shock To You
HoratioVonBecker
Imperfectly Aligned
"Well," you say, "you sure kicked things off with a bang."
She orients on you, then charges. You dance backwards.
"What do guys you even want, anyway? This seems like a risky line of business."
She closes and swipes; you slap-parry and grab wrists. You're stronger than her, but not by much. She's enhanced.
"Good armor, strong bodymods. Whoever you are, you're rich." She tries twisting away, and you yank her back. "Why shoot firefighters?"
She stares at you, and sets her jaw. "You're not a firefighter." Then she rabbitkicks you in the belly, and you laugh involuntarily.
It's not quite pretty, your laugh. (Hot - maybe. It is dangerous, and powerful, in a throaty sort of way. But you try to keep a tight lid on that.)
So for the most part, it's with concerned amusement that you come back to yourself. To the armored woman, hands to the sides of her helmet, fibers starting to peel from ballistic faceplate. Shards of window falling like rain. White-hot pain in your abdomen, almost gone. You make yourself stop laughing, although it makes you feel ill. She slumps in relief.
Now for restraint and questioning.
She orients on you, then charges. You dance backwards.
"What do guys you even want, anyway? This seems like a risky line of business."
She closes and swipes; you slap-parry and grab wrists. You're stronger than her, but not by much. She's enhanced.
"Good armor, strong bodymods. Whoever you are, you're rich." She tries twisting away, and you yank her back. "Why shoot firefighters?"
She stares at you, and sets her jaw. "You're not a firefighter." Then she rabbitkicks you in the belly, and you laugh involuntarily.
It's not quite pretty, your laugh. (Hot - maybe. It is dangerous, and powerful, in a throaty sort of way. But you try to keep a tight lid on that.)
So for the most part, it's with concerned amusement that you come back to yourself. To the armored woman, hands to the sides of her helmet, fibers starting to peel from ballistic faceplate. Shards of window falling like rain. White-hot pain in your abdomen, almost gone. You make yourself stop laughing, although it makes you feel ill. She slumps in relief.
Now for restraint and questioning.
Trying something new this time: the vote docket will be next update. Soliciting suggestions as to what should be on it.
- Location
- Leeds
?
The vote next time should be on free shinies we get?
Sirrocco
Pedantic
Depends where you want to take thigns, really.
If you want it to be investigative, it could be on what questions we ask. If you want us to have to resource-manage with limited information, then you have each question cost a certain amount of time.
On the other hand, the game where we try to figure out what's in your head based on the amount of info that you think shoudl be necessary to figure it out has... difficulties, especially if you're not experienced in it. You might want to examine the three clue rule on that one. So, you could hand that over to the character - tell us what information she extracts, and then let us decide what to do next. Specifically, one vote to decide "what do you do with your captive" and one to decide "where do you go next". Again, adding in a "and this choice will take this much time" adds in a bit where we have to make guesses abotu how valuable time is. Whether or not flirting with the woman we'd just bested is a plausible option is going to depend on genre.
If you want to hand over a bit more narrative control to the players, you can indeed do it as a loot check. Give us three or four options - information, gear, possibly a "this useful thing happens, and this is how you notice it" and allow us to pick one or more. If it's more, you probably need more options to choose from. "You finally get in touch with the real emergency services" would be a great option for a "pick your loot" check of this variety. "This other street-tier super who you mostly get along with shows up too" would be another. Of course, you could also add in a complications vote, or possibly something like "pick one loot, or two loot and one complication".
Past that, right now, we're functioning with very little information. Like, I'm pretty sure that we have a secret society of some sort, with enough resources to buy low-tier metapowers and jam communications, fighting against... a high-tier meta pyrokinetic? The only indication we have as to who is villainous is that buildings are on fire (-1 for the pyrokinetic) and the men in black are actively hampering the ability of the standard authorities (including us) to solve that issue (-1 for them). Having some sort of idea who the players here are ("Your captive assumes you know more than you do, and lets something slip"?) would help.
If you want it to be investigative, it could be on what questions we ask. If you want us to have to resource-manage with limited information, then you have each question cost a certain amount of time.
On the other hand, the game where we try to figure out what's in your head based on the amount of info that you think shoudl be necessary to figure it out has... difficulties, especially if you're not experienced in it. You might want to examine the three clue rule on that one. So, you could hand that over to the character - tell us what information she extracts, and then let us decide what to do next. Specifically, one vote to decide "what do you do with your captive" and one to decide "where do you go next". Again, adding in a "and this choice will take this much time" adds in a bit where we have to make guesses abotu how valuable time is. Whether or not flirting with the woman we'd just bested is a plausible option is going to depend on genre.
If you want to hand over a bit more narrative control to the players, you can indeed do it as a loot check. Give us three or four options - information, gear, possibly a "this useful thing happens, and this is how you notice it" and allow us to pick one or more. If it's more, you probably need more options to choose from. "You finally get in touch with the real emergency services" would be a great option for a "pick your loot" check of this variety. "This other street-tier super who you mostly get along with shows up too" would be another. Of course, you could also add in a complications vote, or possibly something like "pick one loot, or two loot and one complication".
Past that, right now, we're functioning with very little information. Like, I'm pretty sure that we have a secret society of some sort, with enough resources to buy low-tier metapowers and jam communications, fighting against... a high-tier meta pyrokinetic? The only indication we have as to who is villainous is that buildings are on fire (-1 for the pyrokinetic) and the men in black are actively hampering the ability of the standard authorities (including us) to solve that issue (-1 for them). Having some sort of idea who the players here are ("Your captive assumes you know more than you do, and lets something slip"?) would help.
HoratioVonBecker
Imperfectly Aligned
Sirocco, I'm not sure I can thank you enough for these analysis posts. Even when they're reminding me of things I already know, they seem to save me a tremendous amount of work figuring out what's relevant.
Anyway, since on my end this is a guided writing exercise, I could go with "how do you want to characterize this chapter: stay and interrogate, go fight someone else, write-in?"
But if 'no challenge-gating intended' isn't an advantage from your perspective, do speak up.
Anyway, since on my end this is a guided writing exercise, I could go with "how do you want to characterize this chapter: stay and interrogate, go fight someone else, write-in?"
But if 'no challenge-gating intended' isn't an advantage from your perspective, do speak up.
Sirrocco
Pedantic
So... if you want this as a guided writing exercise, more than anything else, that suggests that you should be looking for "where does the story go from here?" choices. Now, pretty clearly you're not going full improv... because otherwise the "contact the authorities" vote wouldn't have turned into a "Still haven't talked with emergency services, instead fight with the lady from the vans" scene. Given that, I might suggest a "which plot hook from here" vote - figure out a few vague ideas on scenes that might fit into the story as next scene, and then figure out the plot hooks that would get us to each of them.
The challenge-gating... honestly, I think "no challenge-gating" is good here, but I feel like you've put some in unintentionally, just by giving us choices from the protagonist's standpoint that seem to be meaningful, but where we don't have much if any information to make those choices. When you do that, it feels like challenge. If you truly don't want challenge-gating of that variety, and you do want us making in-character choices, then I might suggest interludes from the perspective of other characters. You could easily make that a vote as well - like, let us pick between the guys in the van, the woman we just beat up, or whoever the pyro meta is, and show us the world from their perspective.
I do feel like "stay and interrogate, go fight someone else, write-in?" is a bit too divorced from the action. Like, we have a building on fire, and some sort of combat probably going on elsewhere, and guys getting away in vans, and someone right here to interrogate. Our next step should be somehow trying to address those things.
The challenge-gating... honestly, I think "no challenge-gating" is good here, but I feel like you've put some in unintentionally, just by giving us choices from the protagonist's standpoint that seem to be meaningful, but where we don't have much if any information to make those choices. When you do that, it feels like challenge. If you truly don't want challenge-gating of that variety, and you do want us making in-character choices, then I might suggest interludes from the perspective of other characters. You could easily make that a vote as well - like, let us pick between the guys in the van, the woman we just beat up, or whoever the pyro meta is, and show us the world from their perspective.
I do feel like "stay and interrogate, go fight someone else, write-in?" is a bit too divorced from the action. Like, we have a building on fire, and some sort of combat probably going on elsewhere, and guys getting away in vans, and someone right here to interrogate. Our next step should be somehow trying to address those things.
Vote Update Mockingbird
HoratioVonBecker
Imperfectly Aligned
Thanks to some very helpful in-thread work by @Sirrocco, I'm ready to open the vote now. Turns out it's a formatting vote.
[ ] Switch to omniscient narrator, which is much better for relating stories efficiently, but not as good at emphasizing tactical considerations.
[ ] Switch to Mockingbird's perspective as the Golden Goblin interrogates her.
[ ] Both.
Formalizing-automating-deemphasizing: Write-ins are always an option if you can justify them.
[ ] Switch to omniscient narrator, which is much better for relating stories efficiently, but not as good at emphasizing tactical considerations.
[ ] Switch to Mockingbird's perspective as the Golden Goblin interrogates her.
[ ] Both.
Formalizing-automating-deemphasizing: Write-ins are always an option if you can justify them.
- Location
- Leeds
No opinion on this vote.
Cliff-Hanging Mockingbird
HoratioVonBecker
Imperfectly Aligned
MOCKINGBIRD's ears are warm and wet, as... well, it's probably just blood that flows down to her jawline. Tightness at her throat and waist. Pain somewhere between 'mild' and 'wracking'. Stuff's broken. Too broken. Never- no. Not-no. [kNOTNOT]
The Golden Goblin was striding toward her. [Her] battle-hypnosis display had cracked, and her eyes were having trouble adapting. What conclusion, in that broken fractal eternity, did [Bob/Bobbi/BARBAR-MORSEerrorwrongerror???] come to? What did she tell herself, in the end?
The Golden Goblin was striding toward her. [Her] battle-hypnosis display had cracked, and her eyes were having trouble adapting. What conclusion, in that broken fractal eternity, did [Bob/Bobbi/BARBAR-MORSEerrorwrongerror???] come to? What did she tell herself, in the end?
[ ] She's a fair cop, Guv. Your cybernetic parts variously encrypt, decouple, and melt themselves. You'll come along quietly, and answer her questions as best you're able, which won't be much. It sounds... nice, to rest. Will you dream?
[ ] IRON WIDOW. Drink the hourglass. Two bites of the apple. Fly the Crimson Banner here. All... for... one-ON-one... for... all. [If you win, target dies. Don't you EVER lose like this.]
[ ] Golden Trusses. In the end, you simply slipped into a healing coma, while she clamped your knees and elbows and bound them to your neck. You woke to see the building falling toward you.
Last edited:
- Location
- Leeds
okay we're picking out the origin for Mockingbird I guess.
I don't know what any of them are unless Iron Widow is an alternate Black Widow.
Also why are we tying her ankles to her neck? Sounds back breaking.
I don't know what any of them are unless Iron Widow is an alternate Black Widow.
Also why are we tying her ankles to her neck? Sounds back breaking.
- Location
- MN
[X] She's a fair cop, Guv. Your cybernetic parts variously encrypt, decouple, and melt themselves. You'll come along quietly, and answer her questions as best you're able, which won't be much. It sounds... nice, to rest. Will you dream?
HoratioVonBecker
Imperfectly Aligned
Mockingbird has one backstory - you're just picking how the damage affects her.
Also, did I say ankles? I meant
Last edited:
- Location
- Leeds
Why are we clamping her elbows to her neck? This still sounds like a really unorthodox restrain method.
[X] Golden Trusses. In the end, you simply slipped into a healing coma, while she clamped your knees and elbows and bound them to your neck. You woke to see the building falling toward you.
Sirrocco
Pedantic
Okay, so what doe these actually do?
First, we now that she's cybernetically enhanced, and running off of some sort of battle-hypnosis. Her systems are hard-integrated enough that physical damage messes with her ability to think. As for the options? By my read, it's "what's the next issue that the Goblin needs to deal with?
- "Fair cop" means that she comes along quietly, but we don't get much out of her - she's been designed to allow capture by letting her scrub basically everything incriminating. Least hassle, but very little reward.
- "Golden Trusses" leaves more potentially recoverable, but means that when the action starts up again she's in a full-body bind, an a building is falling towards her. Goblin is going to need to save her from that or get nothing (and also feel terrible).
- IRON WIDOW is the interesting one. She flips into some sort of extra-intense berserker state, and her fighting style goes full lethal. If she loses, though... we're not sure what happens, but the "don't you dare" suggests that it leaves her wide open for... something. Note that the cost (to her) is dependent on her losing. My read is that this one starts out with her as an immediate lethal threat, but generates the most intel if Goblin wins.
[x] IRON WIDOW. Drink the hourglass. Two bites of the apple. Fly the Crimson Banner here. All... for... one-ON-one... for... all. [If you win, target dies. Don't you EVER lose like this.]