Ivanov's First Law: The further one gets from Earth, the more incomprehensible the local...
It Got Worse: A Refugee Quest
- Thread starter Crilltic
- Start date
- Original
- Created
- Status
- Ongoing
- Watchers
- 58
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- 0
- Threadmarks
- 13
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Statistics (13 threadmarks, 18k words)
User Total Crilltic 13
00 - OP
- Location
- Massholistan
Ivanov's First Law: The further one gets from Earth, the more incomprehensible the local inhabitants.
For ages Humanity has looked to the stars with a sense of hope and boundless enthusiasm for discovery out there in the endless void. However, upon having arrived, Humanity has learned that much like love and Nuclear MAD the only winning move is to not play. Certainly, modern humanity would just love to curl up under the covers, read a good book, and forget everything more than 1 light year from the sun even existed. Unfortunately when you stare out into the abyss, the abyss stares back and then breaks your legs and burns your house down for money.
Now, the story of humanity's brief interaction with the wider galaxy is one of very stupid decisions, and utterly ridiculous consequences.
However, this is not the story of any of those things. It is the story of something so incredibly irrelevant that none could have foreseen its beginning, and likely no one will care for its end. We are of course talking about you.
You are a human, a dreadfully boring species that had the supreme misfortune to evolve in a galaxy that was very much not boring at all. In any way whatsoever. Humans could not survive hard vacuum, eat a tank or even live forever, the basics of galactic competitiveness. However, what they did have was grit, determination and a boundless spirit of innovation. Through endless struggle and perseverance they were able to have their planet destroyed and lose everything.
As for you specifically, nobody cares. As far as you can tell, this is a good thing, because all the people who did care are dead or would be interested in harvesting your biomass.
Fortunately for you, your utter irrelevance allowed you to escape the fate that befell many other humans, and you would like nothing more than to go home, curl up with your cat and a hot cup of tea. Unfortunately for you, the current status of your house, your cat and all the tea leaves on your home planet as rapidly expanding clouds of gas somewhat precludes any of that from coming to pass. Which leads to your present predicament.
Despite humanity's status as one of the most hated races in the galaxy, competition for the #1 spot is fierce. Though they topped the leaderboards for a good hundred years or two, humanity eventually succumbed violently to competition. All you could do was get lucky enough to get hired by a courier ship in the inner rim.
So to recap, you are a human, doing pointless work, in the middle of nowhere with virtually nothing to your name. That is is your life. Try not to die, unless you're in one of the many positions where dying is a better option. In that case put all your human grit and innovation and determination into dying quickly. And whatever you do, stay away from the edges. Things get weird in the outer rim.
Now, the story of humanity's brief interaction with the wider galaxy is one of very stupid decisions, and utterly ridiculous consequences.
However, this is not the story of any of those things. It is the story of something so incredibly irrelevant that none could have foreseen its beginning, and likely no one will care for its end. We are of course talking about you.
You are a human, a dreadfully boring species that had the supreme misfortune to evolve in a galaxy that was very much not boring at all. In any way whatsoever. Humans could not survive hard vacuum, eat a tank or even live forever, the basics of galactic competitiveness. However, what they did have was grit, determination and a boundless spirit of innovation. Through endless struggle and perseverance they were able to have their planet destroyed and lose everything.
As for you specifically, nobody cares. As far as you can tell, this is a good thing, because all the people who did care are dead or would be interested in harvesting your biomass.
Fortunately for you, your utter irrelevance allowed you to escape the fate that befell many other humans, and you would like nothing more than to go home, curl up with your cat and a hot cup of tea. Unfortunately for you, the current status of your house, your cat and all the tea leaves on your home planet as rapidly expanding clouds of gas somewhat precludes any of that from coming to pass. Which leads to your present predicament.
Despite humanity's status as one of the most hated races in the galaxy, competition for the #1 spot is fierce. Though they topped the leaderboards for a good hundred years or two, humanity eventually succumbed violently to competition. All you could do was get lucky enough to get hired by a courier ship in the inner rim.
So to recap, you are a human, doing pointless work, in the middle of nowhere with virtually nothing to your name. That is is your life. Try not to die, unless you're in one of the many positions where dying is a better option. In that case put all your human grit and innovation and determination into dying quickly. And whatever you do, stay away from the edges. Things get weird in the outer rim.
Character Information
- Location
- Massholistan
Name: Selina Terens
Gender: Female
Description:
A young engineer fleeing the collapse of human space. Hired by the Horizon to serve as their junior engineer position.
Status:
Extremely Annoyed (And Tired)
Caffeine Levels:
5/10
Gender: Female
Description:
A young engineer fleeing the collapse of human space. Hired by the Horizon to serve as their junior engineer position.
Status:
Extremely Annoyed (And Tired)
Caffeine Levels:
5/10
- Horizon Crewmembers
- Races of the Galaxy
Last edited:
01 - Chargen
- Location
- Massholistan
Your feet slap against the cheaply-finished decking tiles of the docking bay as you drag a small suitcase containing all your worldly possessions behind you. You hear shouts ring out behind you from the people you had nearly bowled over in your rush. You don't pay them any heed, you are:
Name:
>[ ] Write-in:
Gender:
>[ ] Male
>[ ] Female
And you are very, very late. It was really not your fault. First the passenger ship getting you here broke down so you had to reroute through several different connections, because that was the only direct ship to this station out here in the ass-end of nowhere. Then once you got here the line for occupational permits to let you actually be employed by a locally-flagged ship was out the door.
Then the terminals for registration were designed by The Bureaucracy, because of course they were, so you had to sit through a two-hour technical lecture about the minute details separating a Class-I and Class-II Permit, how both those were distinct from a Class-III permit, and how all three were closely tied to, but separate from, a Residency Permit. Then you had to actually fill out the 113-page questionnaire to apply for your selected permit. You, of course, formatted questions 45, 187 and 2167 incorrectly, which caused your first application to be denied.
After that came the mandatory visa seminar, the visa application, the passport check, the scanner inspection, getting tasered, the post-failed inspection pat-down, the second passport check, the interrogation by Station Security, and with blissful finale the third passport check.
So all told, you've been up for close to 52 hours straight, you're pretty sure your bloodstream is about half stims right now, you want lay down and die, and if you don't make it to Bay 137 in the next thirty minutes well you're out of a job.
You look up at the sign you just passed.
Bay 43
Wonderful. Well, it looks like you'll just have to run. Well, for starters it's the only one you could find, and since you enjoy not starving to death it will likely have to do. As for what exactly the job is, you are:
Background:
>[ ] The Soldier: The human military largely ended up in two camps after the Terracide, dead or wishing they were dead. You are in neither, primarily because you ran as far away as you could. Yourrampant cowardice realistic outlook aside, you know how to fight, and more importantly look like you know how to fight. Which is how you got hired for security on the Horizon
>[ ] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here
>[ ] The Medic: You are a doctor. Well, you have a medical degree...for humans. But everyone knows most aliens are similar enough to humans to anyway. Regardless, the Horizon already has a head doctor, you're just their assistant. You'll just learn on the job.
If you had the choice, you'd be doing literally anything else. Wait, actually scratch that, this beats out quite a few things you could think of. However, of the jobs you actually want to do this one ranks in a solid last place. Unfortunately, all those other jobs didn't return your calls...or even take them in the first place. So yeah. Here you are.
Bay 72
It probably could be worse.
Name:
>[ ] Write-in:
Gender:
>[ ] Male
>[ ] Female
And you are very, very late. It was really not your fault. First the passenger ship getting you here broke down so you had to reroute through several different connections, because that was the only direct ship to this station out here in the ass-end of nowhere. Then once you got here the line for occupational permits to let you actually be employed by a locally-flagged ship was out the door.
Then the terminals for registration were designed by The Bureaucracy, because of course they were, so you had to sit through a two-hour technical lecture about the minute details separating a Class-I and Class-II Permit, how both those were distinct from a Class-III permit, and how all three were closely tied to, but separate from, a Residency Permit. Then you had to actually fill out the 113-page questionnaire to apply for your selected permit. You, of course, formatted questions 45, 187 and 2167 incorrectly, which caused your first application to be denied.
After that came the mandatory visa seminar, the visa application, the passport check, the scanner inspection, getting tasered, the post-failed inspection pat-down, the second passport check, the interrogation by Station Security, and with blissful finale the third passport check.
So all told, you've been up for close to 52 hours straight, you're pretty sure your bloodstream is about half stims right now, you want lay down and die, and if you don't make it to Bay 137 in the next thirty minutes well you're out of a job.
You look up at the sign you just passed.
Bay 43
Wonderful. Well, it looks like you'll just have to run. Well, for starters it's the only one you could find, and since you enjoy not starving to death it will likely have to do. As for what exactly the job is, you are:
Background:
>[ ] The Soldier: The human military largely ended up in two camps after the Terracide, dead or wishing they were dead. You are in neither, primarily because you ran as far away as you could. Your
>[ ] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here
>[ ] The Medic: You are a doctor. Well, you have a medical degree...for humans. But everyone knows most aliens are similar enough to humans to anyway. Regardless, the Horizon already has a head doctor, you're just their assistant. You'll just learn on the job.
If you had the choice, you'd be doing literally anything else. Wait, actually scratch that, this beats out quite a few things you could think of. However, of the jobs you actually want to do this one ranks in a solid last place. Unfortunately, all those other jobs didn't return your calls...or even take them in the first place. So yeah. Here you are.
Bay 72
It probably could be worse.
Last edited:
- Location
- U.S.
>[X] Repulso Dulino
>[X] Male
>[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here
>[X] Male
>[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here
LucidProp
Pocky Eating MafiaDoka
[X] Selina Terens
[X] Female
[X] The Soldier: The human military largely ended up in two camps after the Terracide, dead or wishing they were dead. You are in neither, primarily because you ran as far away as you could. Your rampant cowardice realistic outlook aside, you know how to fight, and more importantly look like you know how to fight. Which is how you got hired for security on the Horizon
[X] Female
[X] The Soldier: The human military largely ended up in two camps after the Terracide, dead or wishing they were dead. You are in neither, primarily because you ran as far away as you could. Your rampant cowardice realistic outlook aside, you know how to fight, and more importantly look like you know how to fight. Which is how you got hired for security on the Horizon
Avalanche
Atypical Netizen
- Location
- Australia
Name:
>[X] Write-in: Holden Commodore
Gender:
>[X] Male
Background:
>[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here
>[X] Write-in: Holden Commodore
Gender:
>[X] Male
Background:
>[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here
Rossum
Not a Cyberman
- Location
- Earth
[X] Selina Terens
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here
Kingspace
The Void calls its children
[X] Selina Terens
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here
TimeLordLucario
The Oncoming Aura Storm
- Location
- Australia
>[X] Repulso Dulino
>[X] Male
>[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here.
>[X] Male
>[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here.
SlugSLinger
Seeker of Originality
- Location
- Somewhere in the Jungles of S.E.A
>[X] Repulso Dulino
>[X] Male
>[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here.
>[X] Male
>[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here.
Shard
One and Many
- Location
- Malaysia
[X] Repulso Dulino
[X] Male
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here.
This sounds fun.
[X] Male
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here.
This sounds fun.
- Location
- Massholistan
Just as a few things to note. I'm going to collecting votes by plan, not by line. So when voting you might want to keep that in mind. Secondly, voting will remain open until 3:30pm tomorrow (Unless the voting blatantly one-sided, in which case I'll call it earlier).
Also Repulso Dulino sounds like a sex move.
Also Repulso Dulino sounds like a sex move.
[X] Selina Terens
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here.
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here.
[X] Selina Terens
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here.
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here.
LucidProp
Pocky Eating MafiaDoka
[X] Selina Terens
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here.
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here.
KingOfWorlds
Exists.
- Location
- Universe #8758762952950231859269663
[X] Selina Terens
[X] Female
[X] The Administratrator: Though not not possessing of a high level job at the time of end of Earth, that was because you were at the job only for a few months. None of your peers or even most of your seniors, were as good as you at the Utterly Useless and Supremely Useful Art of Red Tape
[X] Female
[X] The Administratrator: Though not not possessing of a high level job at the time of end of Earth, that was because you were at the job only for a few months. None of your peers or even most of your seniors, were as good as you at the Utterly Useless and Supremely Useful Art of Red Tape
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[X] Selina Terens
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here.
Why is Humanity so universally reviled? I mean, topping the most hated species charts has to take some dedication. Did we release fleets of door to door salesmen on the aliens or something?
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here.
Why is Humanity so universally reviled? I mean, topping the most hated species charts has to take some dedication. Did we release fleets of door to door salesmen on the aliens or something?
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KingOfWorlds
Exists.
- Location
- Universe #8758762952950231859269663
Probably the very concept of stupid, idiotic things like door-to-door/planet-to-planet salesmen.
[X] Selina Terens
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here
New
[X] Selina Terens
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here
[X] Selina Terens
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here
FriedIce
The Authentic Fake
- Location
- Hyperreality
[X] Captain Jack Scott ("yes, captain is my first name")
[X] Shemale
[X] The Medic: You are a doctor. Well, you have a medical degree...for humans. But everyone knows most aliens are similar enough to humans to anyway. Regardless, the Horizon already has a head doctor, you're just their assistant. You'll just learn on the job.
[X] Shemale
[X] The Medic: You are a doctor. Well, you have a medical degree...for humans. But everyone knows most aliens are similar enough to humans to anyway. Regardless, the Horizon already has a head doctor, you're just their assistant. You'll just learn on the job.
Cetashwayo
Lord of Ten Thousand Years
- Location
- Across the Horizon
[X] Selina Terens
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here
[X] Female
[X] The Engineer: Turns out trade school for space engineering wasn't as lucrative a career choice as you thought. But how were you supposed to know that all the big shipping companies were going to get liquidated, literally in some cases? So now you're here
- Location
- Massholistan
You know the usual, human arrogance, jealousy of humanity's innate superiority, annoying human culture, the several planets humanity blew up, the several galactic wars started by humanity. It could be any of these things.
Voting is also now closed:
You are Selina Terens, a young engineer who, having recently graduated from trade school for space engineers found that most of her employment opportunities had evaporated (in some cases literally), and avoided getting conscripted into the rapidly disintegrating human military (again, literally). So now she has been hired on the independent courier ship Horizon as the junior engineer.
The next update should come later today.
Mithrandir
Endurance and victory!
- Location
- Lighting the Blue Beacons.
Too late to vote. Ah well.
This made it worth it all the same.