Hubris and Greed: The Island of Monsters

Why are they still able to keep up while lying down? :cry::cry::cry:
Also is it possible to vote for two worst stats because clearly Grey is neither Intelligent or Wise. :V

The move in many diferent ways. Some of them are better suited to run on all fours or crawl really REALLY fast... It's as creepy as it sounds.

Also for what I see, some of them favor the fabled technique of the «Naruto run» to chase their prey. Not what I expected when I told Xelta that "Yeah, they are all kind of different so they don't always move the same. Go crazy with that if you want."
 
[X] Adventurer's guild: The people at the orphanage were your family. You miss that sense of community. You still have Megumin but that's not enough. You need a big family… All working together. Maybe you can make this shithole better for everyone. (Build a base and recruit at least 100 people. Turn your guild into the main power of the region even above the GMG.)

[X] Millionaire: Accumulate a fortune of 100.000.000cr in any way possible and return to the mainland. Live the rest of your life without having to work again… But that doesn't mean you can't live the big life there too. This island is where people who know what they are doing get rich after all. ( Reach 100.000.000cr to accomplish this goal or live with an opulent living standard and a mansion built for at least two years.)

[X] Cha +
[X] Int -

FULL SHOUNEN WE HAVE A BIG GOAL FOR A BIG HEART, ALSO A SELFISH GOAL JUST BECAUSE
 
[x] Adventurer's guild: The people at the orphanage were your family. You miss that sense of community. You still have Megumin but that's not enough. You need a big family… All working together. Maybe you can make this shithole better for everyone. (Build a base and recruit at least 100 people. Turn your guild into the main power of the region even above the GMG.)

[x] Explorer: The island is big. Big enough to have deserts, colder areas, mountains, and valleys. There is no real map of the whole island, just bits and pieces. You always wanted to walk where no one else walked before and explore further than anyone. This place is perfect for that. (Map the island in full and explore the ancient ruins found near the center. Be the first to discover what awaits at the deepest part of the central chasm.)
[x] Dex +
[X] Int -
 
[x] Millionaire: Accumulate a fortune of 100.000.000cr in any way possible and return to the mainland. Live the rest of your life without having to work again… But that doesn't mean you can't live the big life there too. This island is where people who know what they are doing get rich after all. ( Reach 100.000.000cr to accomplish this goal or live with an opulent living standard and a mansion built for at least two years.)
[x] Explorer: The island is big. Big enough to have deserts, colder areas, mountains, and valleys. There is no real map of the whole island, just bits and pieces. You always wanted to walk where no one else walked before and explore further than anyone. This place is perfect for that. (Map the island in full and explore the ancient ruins found near the center. Be the first to discover what awaits at the deepest part of the central chasm.)

[x] Cha +
[x] Con -
 
[x] Adventurer's guild: The people at the orphanage were your family. You miss that sense of community. You still have Megumin but that's not enough. You need a big family… All working together. Maybe you can make this shithole better for everyone. (Build a base and recruit at least 100 people. Turn your guild into the main power of the region even above the GMG.)

[x] Explorer: The island is big. Big enough to have deserts, colder areas, mountains, and valleys. There is no real map of the whole island, just bits and pieces. You always wanted to walk where no one else walked before and explore further than anyone. This place is perfect for that. (Map the island in full and explore the ancient ruins found near the center. Be the first to discover what awaits at the deepest part of the central chasm.)

[x] Dex +
[x] Cha -
 
[x] Adventurer's guild: The people at the orphanage were your family. You miss that sense of community. You still have Megumin but that's not enough. You need a big family… All working together. Maybe you can make this shithole better for everyone. (Build a base and recruit at least 100 people. Turn your guild into the main power of the region even above the GMG.)

[x] Explorer: The island is big. Big enough to have deserts, colder areas, mountains, and valleys. There is no real map of the whole island, just bits and pieces. You always wanted to walk where no one else walked before and explore further than anyone. This place is perfect for that. (Map the island in full and explore the ancient ruins found near the center. Be the first to discover what awaits at the deepest part of the central chasm.)

[x] Dex +
[x] Cha -
 
[x] Millionaire: Accumulate a fortune of 100.000.000cr in any way possible and return to the mainland. Live the rest of your life without having to work again… But that doesn't mean you can't live the big life there too. This island is where people who know what they are doing get rich after all. ( Reach 100.000.000cr to accomplish this goal or live with an opulent living standard and a mansion built for at least two years.)
[x] Explorer: The island is big. Big enough to have deserts, colder areas, mountains, and valleys. There is no real map of the whole island, just bits and pieces. You always wanted to walk where no one else walked before and explore further than anyone. This place is perfect for that. (Map the island in full and explore the ancient ruins found near the center. Be the first to discover what awaits at the deepest part of the central chasm.)

[x] Dex +
[x] Con -
 
Calling the vote. Explorer and Adventurer won. They work well together so let's do both.

Best stat is Dex and worst is Int. I will write all the mechanics in the following days. Maybe tomorrow.
Adhoc vote count started by Luxicato on Sep 4, 2019 at 6:10 PM, finished with 18 posts and 14 votes.
 
How to get bonus dice through feedback
I've been thinking a lot lately about my quests, about why I sometimes feel like something is missing when I write. I sometimes don't have motivation to write and others I spend days and days writing nonstop.

I realized that the answer was feedback.

I asked myself why do I write and what do I get from writing a quest. I don't have a patreon and people don't ask me for commissions or specific writing in exchange of money… Then I realized that what I get from this is practice. Practice in making stories and characters. What I get from quest is experience. I know I'm kind of decent at writing, that's why people keep reading, but…

I don't want to be a decent writer. I want to be a GREAT one. That's why we are here.

They say you need to practice 10.000 hours to be an expert at something but if you are practicing the wrong way you will only be an expert at doing stuff wrong.

I need feedback to know what exactly I'm doing right. Real feedback. I usually pester people on my discord until someone tells me what they liked and not from the update to shut me up, but that's kind of not a great way of doing it.

Then I had an idea.

I will give bonus to rolls in exchange of that sweet, sweet feedback.

You know when some people just quote their favorite parts of an update with a little comment of how they liked/disliked that part? That works. I need to know if a joke lands or falls flat, if an emotional moment causes feelings or people just kind of read it and keep going. Sometimes I even divide the update into two clear parts, but people only say something about one of them. Sometimes I have an interaction I find really funny in the first half and something more serious later. The more serious part overshadows the less serious one so I'm left wondering if it was funny or it wasn't and should change how I do that kind of interaction.

I like the likes and I'm grateful for them, don't get me wrong. 50 likes in a MHA update? I love that. Everyone likes the internet points, but they don't actually help me get better at this. They help in the sense they tell me I'm doing something right, but not WHAT exactly.

So… Yeah, I plan on giving bonus to dice to each person that gives me feedback, even if it's not much. This is how it works:
  • You don't need to do much to get the bare minimum. You can just quote your favorite four or five lines saying "This was funny/sad/epic" or your least favorites saying "This was dumb/too weird/uncomfortable" and you already get a +1 to a roll of your choice.

  • If you quote something and just say "I liked this" it… works but I would prefer if you add something more even if it's just "I liked this because it was funny". Giving me a reason for you liking it makes the feedback 200% more useful.

  • For the feedback to give a bonus it needs to have a minimum depending on update length. If in a 4k update you quote only one sentence with the bare minimum comment about it… I will be grateful but I can't give bonus for that. If you do that but with 4 or 5 bits you liked then sure. I will not ask much.

  • You will get bonus for each time you give me feedback. That bonus is yours and you can use it whenever you want. I will ask before an update with a roll if someone wants to use their bonus and how much of it. I will have a list of people with bonus and how much they have. The bonus is individual so, if you want a roll to have a huge bonus, you will have to make sure everyone uses their points.

  • I will give 1 to 5 bonus for each feedback comment. I might change it depending on how this goes, but that's the standard. 1 is for feedback where you just quote and comment the bare minimum. 5 is for something like actually analyzing the update in-depth, a character or something crazy like that. Something worthy of being almost an omake.

  • IMPORTANT: I don't want just ass-kissing and ego-stroking feedback. Negative feedback is as important as positive. If something about an update was bad I would love to know so I can improve it. But if you give me negative feedback my ego would appreciate if you pair it with something you liked too… Unless it was so bad you didn't like anything in the update.


And that's all. I will post this to all my quests and see how this little experiment goes. If it goes well not only I will get better at writing much quicker but also would give me more motivation to do it.
 
Oh what a relief. I saw two posts the same size go up on both your quests at once and my first thought was hiatus notice.
Don't toy with my feelings like that. :p
 
Oh what a relief. I saw two posts the same size go up on both your quests at once and my first thought was hiatus notice.
Don't toy with my feelings like that. :p

Don't worry. When I go into hiatus is because I don't feel like writing for a while for some reason, suddenly disappear with an excuse and no warning and then spend a week or two too ashamed for disappearing like that to come back.

I should definitely stop doing that.
 
Ok, so.

I saw your previous quest, the MHA one, and thought it was decently written, but ultimately when I needed to free up some time I had to opt out. It's the thing about fanfiction - you have the world established already, but only if you've done your research; if you aren't familiar with it it just drastically increases the amount of supplementary reading you need to do to not feel left out. And I never watched MHA.

Looking at this one, I kinda regret that decision now. If I could quickly get back into it by reading a summary or something I'd probably take the chance, because I like what I am seeing here.

I was chopping off my reading commitments left and right, and this quest kinda sat there in a tab for three days without me touching it, but I always read the initial posts of the original quests, if only to look at the premise. And the premise is... kinda cliche? Logically I should dislike it since I find the amount of combat in Fate quests tiring, and its proportion is way below the alleged target of 70% the quest aims to reach.

But I couldn't bring myself to leave because I've seen something that is even rarer than good writing. A good choice design!

Writing quests is not like writing stories. Their interactive nature requires a different approach, and you need to know where to make those break points between the chapters, what the choices could be about, how they could be made appealing so that the players would be torn between them, and how they would affect the game short- and long-term. A lot of that yet remains to be seen since we are still in chargen. However, the chargen itself was done refreshingly compentently.

The companion concepts presented were interesting by themselves: a close combat specialist who dislikes getting close to the targets; or a mage whose pros and cons are either identical or echo each other ("would be great if trained"/"doesn't believe she needs to be"). The pros and cons were clearly laid out so that players know what they are buying. The really great descriptions let people infer the personalities and possible character interactions depending on the party composition. But most mind-boggling of all, all of it was rolled into a choice of a pair of weapons!

Most quests would have a choice of a weapon be just that, you know?

Good writing never hurt anyone, but good GMing is absolutely essential for a game. And you've set up certain expectations with the first update.

Of course, then you had to include a Megumin expy in the otherwise original quest, but you already know it's shameful and listed it under cons, so my righteous indignation is quieted. :V

Please do not give me points, I'd feel dirty about doing blatant flattery for internet cookies. But if it weren't for the post above, I would've probably kept silent, so the experiment was not in vain, at least.

(Also, I searched for this picture's source, but couldn't find it. Where is it from? Did you... draw it yourself? Nah, no way; too much detail for something to draw in a day, and you couldn't have known Megumin would be picked.)
Edit: NVM just saw the note under the post linking to the artist's DA. Still, a day's work? Damn...
 
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And the premise is... kinda cliche? Logically I should dislike it since I find the amount of combat in Fate quests tiring, and its proportion is way below the alleged target of 70% the quest aims to reach.

Oh yeah, the initial premise is totally cliche. I'm also 99% sure that the combat ratio I was going for will not be what I get.


A lot of that yet remains to be seen since we are still in chargen. However, the chargen itself was done refreshingly compentently.

...

Good writing never hurt anyone, but good GMing is absolutely essential for a game. And you've set up certain expectations with the first update.

This is something I tried in my MHA quest. I always preferred when quests make the decisions and voting mix seamlessly into the narrative. It always looks great. I didn't do it well enough in MHA and did something a bit more traditional and easy. Here I tried to do it how I like and I'm glad to see that someone thinks it was well done. We still need to wait to see if I can keep doing this or it was just a fluke. This quest will be more mechanic in general, so more chances to do that.


Of course, then you had to include a Megumin expy in the otherwise original quest, but you already know it's shameful and listed it under cons, so my righteous indignation is quieted. :V

It actually has some story behind it. In my first quest I introduced a Megumin expy because I was even more of a hack writer than I am today. I always wanted to go back to that quest but it's been a long time and I should restart it if I do... But I don't want to start from scratch. I also feel bad for not writing it. This quest is kind of the middle ground. Different story, different setting, same "gameplay" of dungeon delving and faction-building. That' why Megumin was an option... And the voters decided to choose her making my quest seem a little less profesional :V I still like her and can use her for a lot of fun stuff.


(Also, I searched for this picture's source, but couldn't find it. Where is it from? Did you... draw it yourself? Nah, no way; too much detail for something to draw in a day, and you couldn't have known Megumin would be picked.)
Edit: NVM just saw the note under the post linking to the artist's DA. Still, a day's work? Damn...
> A day
The madwoman did it in an hour. She wanted to give it color and everything but I told her that it was enough like this for just a scene.


Please do not give me points, I'd feel dirty about doing blatant flattery for internet cookies. But if it weren't for the post above, I would've probably kept silent, so the experiment was not in vain, at least.

No, sorry, you get the internet points. You are the first one to participate in the feedback thing and not just a simple quote-reaction comment but a longer one explaining what grabbed your attention about the quest and making me realize that what I did paid off.

You get 5 points, the maximum possible for being the first one in all my quests and writing something closer to an analysis than simple feedback.

It also gives me an excuse to open a post where I have everyone and their points.
 
Dice Bonus Bank
Here we have the people with accumulated bonus to dice. If you are in this list, you can ask to use your bonus whenever you want before an update. I will always tell after a vote if the next update will have a dice roll or not. You can use your 10 points to give a +10 to the roll or wait until you somehow accumulate 100 points and straight up make the next roll a crit because you can do that.

 
So you should proubily get the Adventurer's guild manigement machanics shorted out before any thing else.
 
So you should proubily get the Adventurer's guild manigement machanics shorted out before any thing else.

I know. I will work on it tomorrow before I post the next update here. I'm not good at mechanics so I'm having a hard time trying to decide on something solid. I will probably do some sort of mix of the three ideas I have.
 
Looking at this one, I kinda regret that decision now. If I could quickly get back into it by reading a summary or something I'd probably take the chance, because I like what I am seeing here.
Normally I think this would be rude for me to derail this, but since they're the same QM...

Honestly though there been a huge amount that needs a recap, its largely been isolated social actions, prepping for UA and the insanity that was the battle trail, but I'll do my best.
Daiki Shinsoo (cousin to the canon Hitoshi Shinsoo) is a UA applicant who's good at social stuff and less so good at physical. He has the powers to copy the quirks of people he's friends with however an incident in the past left him isolated with just his sisters and one friend he couldn't shake and not a whole lotta interest in making more.
At the time of the start of the quest Shirohime (the one friend) appears to have finally broken through that high school is a new start and inspired Daiki to attempt to go for his old dream and to make friends while doing it. The day starts off pretty much as you'd expect, some character introductions are met, we're given insight into Daikis relationship with his elder sister via flashback of studying and the battle trial starts. Here things go off the rails. Daiki gets a critical success on a roll to make people coordinate and work together to pass the test and pretty soon he's at the head of a team of thirty odd students, a display of leadership skills which naturally left an impression on everyone in the group, as the authors notes puts it
Imagine all of Daiki's smiles with shoujo sparkles everywhere. He went from "charismatic" to "School Idol" tier in one roll.
Coordination happens and the big robot is destroyed. We get our first harem warning flags as several characters seem to be interested in a date.
The quest moves onto a stage where we're twiddling our thumbs through the final weeks. Kirishima (who we met fighting big robot) and Shirohime put Daiki on a training program to overcome his awful physical stats. We get a job at a cafe owned by a Takeshi Toga whose blood seems to taste sweet and has a missing granddaughter (We have literally no clue who that could be :V). It's announced that our older sister will be a teacher at UA. We hang out with Bunnygirl!Healer!Haruka and get another social crit, during this we learn OoC that she's never had a friend before and so was totally unprepared for the Raiju whirlwind. We get introduced to Mina and right now we're hanging out with two of the other OC's from the battle test.

Theres some other stuff and minor details. Which I thought I'd leave spoilered in case I've told you enough that you want to pick up and read it.
While we don't know much about the pre story incident we do know:

  • Shirohime seems to feel some responsibility.
  • It resulted in the death of Daiki's mother. And estrangement from their father due to blaming them.
  • It left Daiki with some kind of agraphobia that only kicks in when alone?
  • Left Daiki with a fear that people would react badly to learning his quirk.
 
Normally I think this would be rude for me to derail this, but since they're the same QM...

Honestly though there been a huge amount that needs a recap, its largely been isolated social actions, prepping for UA and the insanity that was the battle trail, but I'll do my best.
Daiki Shinsoo (cousin to the canon Hitoshi Shinsoo) is a UA applicant who's good at social stuff and less so good at physical. He has the powers to copy the quirks of people he's friends with however an incident in the past left him isolated with just his sisters and one friend he couldn't shake and not a whole lotta interest in making more.
At the time of the start of the quest Shirohime (the one friend) appears to have finally broken through that high school is a new start and inspired Daiki to attempt to go for his old dream and to make friends while doing it. The day starts off pretty much as you'd expect, some character introductions are met, we're given insight into Daikis relationship with his elder sister via flashback of studying and the battle trial starts. Here things go off the rails. Daiki gets a critical success on a roll to make people coordinate and work together to pass the test and pretty soon he's at the head of a team of thirty odd students, a display of leadership skills which naturally left an impression on everyone in the group, as the authors notes puts it

Coordination happens and the big robot is destroyed. We get our first harem warning flags as several characters seem to be interested in a date.
The quest moves onto a stage where we're twiddling our thumbs through the final weeks. Kirishima (who we met fighting big robot) and Shirohime put Daiki on a training program to overcome his awful physical stats. We get a job at a cafe owned by a Takeshi Toga whose blood seems to taste sweet and has a missing granddaughter (We have literally no clue who that could be :V). It's announced that our older sister will be a teacher at UA. We hang out with Bunnygirl!Healer!Haruka and get another social crit, during this we learn OoC that she's never had a friend before and so was totally unprepared for the Raiju whirlwind. We get introduced to Mina and right now we're hanging out with two of the other OC's from the battle test.

Theres some other stuff and minor details. Which I thought I'd leave spoilered in case I've told you enough that you want to pick up and read it.
While we don't know much about the pre story incident we do know:

  • Shirohime seems to feel some responsibility.
  • It resulted in the death of Daiki's mother. And estrangement from their father due to blaming them.
  • It left Daiki with some kind of agraphobia that only kicks in when alone?
  • Left Daiki with a fear that people would react badly to learning his quirk.
Why the hell is this here?
 
Normally I think this would be rude for me to derail this, but since they're the same QM...

Honestly though there been a huge amount that needs a recap, its largely been isolated social actions, prepping for UA and the insanity that was the battle trail, but I'll do my best.
Daiki Shinsoo (cousin to the canon Hitoshi Shinsoo) is a UA applicant who's good at social stuff and less so good at physical. He has the powers to copy the quirks of people he's friends with however an incident in the past left him isolated with just his sisters and one friend he couldn't shake and not a whole lotta interest in making more.
At the time of the start of the quest Shirohime (the one friend) appears to have finally broken through that high school is a new start and inspired Daiki to attempt to go for his old dream and to make friends while doing it. The day starts off pretty much as you'd expect, some character introductions are met, we're given insight into Daikis relationship with his elder sister via flashback of studying and the battle trial starts. Here things go off the rails. Daiki gets a critical success on a roll to make people coordinate and work together to pass the test and pretty soon he's at the head of a team of thirty odd students, a display of leadership skills which naturally left an impression on everyone in the group, as the authors notes puts it

Coordination happens and the big robot is destroyed. We get our first harem warning flags as several characters seem to be interested in a date.
The quest moves onto a stage where we're twiddling our thumbs through the final weeks. Kirishima (who we met fighting big robot) and Shirohime put Daiki on a training program to overcome his awful physical stats. We get a job at a cafe owned by a Takeshi Toga whose blood seems to taste sweet and has a missing granddaughter (We have literally no clue who that could be :V). It's announced that our older sister will be a teacher at UA. We hang out with Bunnygirl!Healer!Haruka and get another social crit, during this we learn OoC that she's never had a friend before and so was totally unprepared for the Raiju whirlwind. We get introduced to Mina and right now we're hanging out with two of the other OC's from the battle test.

Theres some other stuff and minor details. Which I thought I'd leave spoilered in case I've told you enough that you want to pick up and read it.
While we don't know much about the pre story incident we do know:

  • Shirohime seems to feel some responsibility.
  • It resulted in the death of Daiki's mother. And estrangement from their father due to blaming them.
  • It left Daiki with some kind of agraphobia that only kicks in when alone?
  • Left Daiki with a fear that people would react badly to learning his quirk.
Why the hell is this here?

Don't be man DK. Silver was just helping someone to catch up on my MHA quest. Even if this should not be where it happens I don't mind.

Mp might have been a better idea, but it's okay. Good job Silver.
 
There is a strong argument that I should have done that in the PMs.
But you don't even advertise your quest in your sig so someone needs to spread the word ;):V
 
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